Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between (Preview)

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Little, Brown and Company
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New York Boston
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2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
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Also by Jennifer E. Smith:
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The Geography of You and Me

This Is What Happy Looks Like
The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight
The Storm Makers
You Are Here
The Comeback Season
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product
of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events,
locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright 2015 by Jennifer E. Smith Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning,
uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the
publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would
like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written
permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com.
Thank you for your support of the authors rights.
Poppy
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Hachette Book Group

1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104
Visit us at lbteens.com
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Poppy is an imprint of Little, Brown and Company.

The Poppy name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content)
that are not owned by the publisher.
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First Edition: September 2015
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Library of Congress CataloginginPublication Data
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Smith, Jennifer E., 1980

Hello, goodbye, and everything in between / Jennifer E. Smith. First edition.
pages cm
Summary: High school sweethearts Clare and Aidan spend the night before they leave for
college reminiscing about their relationship and deciding whether they should stay together
or break up.
ISBN 9780316-334426 (hardcover) ISBN 9780316-334440 (ebook)
ISBN 9780316-334457 (library edition ebook) [1. Dating (Social customs)Fiction.
2. LoveFiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.S65141He 2015 [Fic]dc23 2014043210
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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RRDC
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Printed in the United States of America
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To Jenn, with a whole lot of gratitude
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When Aidan opens the door, Clare rises onto her tiptoes to
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kiss him, and for a moment, it feels like any other night.
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Hi, she says, once shes stepped back again, and he smiles.
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Hi.
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They stare at each other for a few long seconds, neither
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quite sure how to begin.

So, Clare says eventually.
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Aidan attempts a smile. So.
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I guess this is it.
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He nods. I guess it is.
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The last night, she says, and he tilts his head at her.
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You know it doesnt have to be.
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Aidan...
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I know, I know, he says, holding up his hands. But
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you cant really blame me, right? Ive still got a little bit of
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time to change your mind.
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Only twelve hours, she says, glancing at her watch. I
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cant believe thats all we have left.
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And thats only if we dont sleep.
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Were definitely not wasting any time on sleep, she
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tells him, pulling a folded piece of notebook paper from
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the pocket of her dress. We have way too much to do.
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Aidan raises an eyebrow. Thatd better not be a list of

reasons why we should break up....
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Its not, she says as she hands it over to him, watching
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as he scans the page with a bemused expression. I just
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figured maybe we could use a plan.
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And this is it?
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She nods. This is it.
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Okay, he says, taking a deep breath. Then I guess we
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should get going.
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Together, they start to walk in the direction of the car,
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but halfway there, Clare stops short, suddenly and unac
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countably nervous, her heart drumming hard in her chest.
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She looks over at Aidan with slightly panicked eyes. This
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is kind of crazy, isnt it?
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What? he asks.
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That we leave tomorrow, she says, her voice rising a lit
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tle. That after all this time, we only have twelve hours left. I
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mean...were finally here, you know? At the end of the road.
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Or, he reminds her, the beginning.
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Clare doesnt say anything; she wants desperately to
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believe him, but standing here on the edge of something so
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big, it seems impossible.
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Trust me, Aidan says, reaching for her hand. A lot

can happen in twelve hours.
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The High School
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6:24 PM
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In the car, Aidan pauses before turning the key in the igni
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tion, and for a brief second, Clare lets herself imagine that
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theyre on their way out to dinner or a movie, or anywhere,
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really, even just the kind of aimless, purposeless drive
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thats been the only thing on the agenda so many times
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before. Their nights always seem to begin in this way: the
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two of them sitting in Aidans dusty Volvo, trying to decide
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what to do.
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But tonight is different.
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Its not a beginning at all. Tonight is an ending.
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Aidans hand is still hovering over the keys, and Clare
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glances down at the piece of notebook paper on her lap.
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During the short walk over to the Gallaghers housea
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walk shes made about a thousand times in the past two
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yearsshe folded and refolded the page so many times
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that its already soft and wrinkled.
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Maybe we should just take off or something, Aidan says,
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looking at her sideways. Just keep driving till we hit Canada.
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Canada, huh? Clare says, raising her eyebrows. Are

we going on the lam?
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He shrugs. Fine. Maybe just Wisconsin, then.
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She reaches over, resting a hand on the back of his neck,
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where his reddish hair is newly trimmed, cut close in a
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way that makes him look older somehow. Im leaving first
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thing in the morning, she says gently. The cars already
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packed. And your flights at noon.
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I know, he says, but he wont look at her. His eyes are
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fixed on the closed door of the garage. Thats my point.
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Lets skip it all.
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College? she says with a smile, letting her hand drop.
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Yeah, he says, nodding now. Who needs it? Lets run
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away together instead. Just for a year or so. Well start a
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new life. In the country. Or better yet, a deserted island.
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You would look nice in a hula skirt.
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Im serious, he says, though she knows hes not. Hes
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just desperate and sad, nervous and excited, wildly unsure
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of everything as they barrel toward the invisible line that
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will separate their lives into a before and an after. Same
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as her.
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Aidan, she says quietly, and this time, his eyes find
hers. This is happening. Tomorrow. No matter what.
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I know, he admits.
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Which is why we have to figure out what to do about it.
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Right, but
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Nope, she says, cutting him off. She holds up the
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piece of paper. No more talking. Weve been talking all
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summer, and its gotten us nowhere. Weve just been going
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around in circles: Stay together, break up, stay together,
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break up....
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Stay together, Aidan finishes, grinning a little.
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Clare laughs. The point is that were hopeless. So no
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more talking. For now, lets just drive, okay?
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He leans forward, reaching for the keys, and then turns

over the engine.
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Okay, he says.
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Their first stop isnt far away, and they drive in silence,
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all the familiar sights of the town slipping by outside the
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window: the bridge over the ravine, the road lined with
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pine trees, the gazebo in the park. Clare tries to absorb
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each one of them as they whip past, because by the time she
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returns at Thanksgiving, she knows she might be some
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one entirely different, and she suspects thatbecause of
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thatall this might look different, too. And something
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about that scares her. So one by one, she tries to pin them
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in place: each tree, each road, each house.
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This is how it all started this morning, when she woke
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up in a panic about how many goodbyes she still had to
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say. Not just the people: Aidan, of course; and her best
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friend, Stella; Aidans sister, Riley; and his pal, Scotty;
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plus the handful of their other friends who are still around.
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But there was also the town itself. All the landmarks
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that had been the background to her childhood. She
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couldnt leave without going to the village green one more
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time, or getting one last slice of pizza at their favorite spot.
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She couldnt possibly take off without one more trip to the
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beach, one final party, one last drive past the high school.
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And so she made a list. But it didnt take long for her to
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realize that most of the things that meant something to
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her were inextricably tied to Aidan. This place was a ghost
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town of sorts, littered with milestones and memories from
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their nearly t wo-year relationship.
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So it had turned into something else, this night: a nos
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talgia tour, a journey into the past, a walk down memory
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lane. It would be a way for her to say goodbye to this town
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where shed lived her whole life, and m

aybesomehow
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to Aidan, too.
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She cant help shivering a little at the thought of this, and
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she presses the button on the car door, closing her window.
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Aidan glances over. Too windy? he asks, rolling up
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his own window, and she nods. But its more than that.
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Its the same icy dread that fills her each time she starts
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to imagine it; not just the goodbye, but everything thats
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to come afterward: the hurt that will surely trail them to
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opposite coasts, so strong that she can already feel it even
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now, when hes only inches away.
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The truth is, shes still waiting for her heart to get on
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board with the decision her head has made. But shes run
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ning out of time.
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When they reach the long drive leading up to the high
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school, Aidan frowns. So tell me, he says as they pull up
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to the front of the sprawling building and into one of the
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empty parking spots. Why exactly are we here?
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Its early evening on a Friday toward the end of August,
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and the school sits hushed and empty. Though she spent
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four years here, Clares already having trouble remember
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ing the feel of the place when its full of students, everyone
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spilling out the wooden doors and onto the front lawn. Its
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only been two months, but somehow, all that seems like a
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very long time ago.
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Because, she says, turning to Aidan, its the first stop

on the list.
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I know that, he says. But how come?
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Its where we met, she explains as she gets out of the
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car. And the idea is to start at the beginning.
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So this is a chronological scavenger hunt, then.
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Its not a scavenger hunt at all. Think of it more like a
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refresher course.
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A refresher course in what?
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She smiles at him over the top of the car. Us.
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So kind of like our greatest hits, he says, twirling the
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keys on his finger as he walks around to her, and for a
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moment, its like none of the rest of it happened. Just now,
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just for this second, hes not the person she knows best in
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the world, but the new kid again, the one whod shown up
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on the very first day of junior year, all red hair and freckles
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and ridiculous height, appearing out of nowhere and turn
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ing her inside out.
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The slanted light is at his back, forcing Clare to squint
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as she studies him for a few long seconds. Did I ever tell
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you, she says, that I used to be late to English every
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single day, just so I could bump into you on your way to
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Pre-calc?
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Well, now I feel kind of bad, Aidan says, his eyes
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creasing at the corners. If Id known that, I wouldve tried
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to be more punctual.
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It wouldnt have mattered, she says, remembering the
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way he used to come loping around the corner, his books
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tucked under his arm like a football, always missing the
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bell, at first because hed get lost, and later because hed
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always manage to lose track of time. I wouldve waited all
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day. I probably wouldve waited forever.
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Shes not serious, of course, but theres something wist

ful in his smile.
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Yeah? he says.
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She shrugs. Yeah.
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I wish you still would, he says, though not spitefully;
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he says it quietly, evenly, a simple truth, an earnest request.
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But it still leaves a mark.
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You have to stop doing that, Clare says. Stop being
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the romantic one.
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Aidan looks surprised. What?
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Its not fair, she says. I hate that you get to be the
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good guy here. Its not like I want to break up with you. It
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kills me just thinking about it, but Im trying to be prac
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tical. Starting tomorrow, were gonna be a million miles
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away from each other, and it doesnt make sense to do this
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any other way. So you have to stop.
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Stop...being romantic? Aidan asks, looking amused.
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Yes.
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Have you ever thought that maybe you need to stop
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being so practical?
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Clare sighs. One of us has to be.
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The one who planned a romantic scavenger hunt for
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our last night? he says, looping an arm around her shoul
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ders and giving her a little squeeze.
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She rolls her eyes. Its not a scavenger hunt.
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Well, whatever it is, I think its suspiciously romantic
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for someone so annoyingly practical, he says, drawing her
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closer. Her head only comes up to his chest, so she has to
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tip her chin up to look at him. When she does, he leans
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down to kiss her, and even though theyve kissed a thou
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sand times b
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lotit still makes her stomach go wobbly, and shes seized
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by a sudden worry over how few of these they have left.
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Together, they walk up the front steps of the school, and
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Clare tugs on the handle of the big wooden door, but it
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refuses to budge. She knocks a few times, in case there
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might be a security guard inside, but nobody answers.
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Its still a couple weeks till classes start, Aidan points

out. Im sure nobodys here on a Friday night.
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I thought maybe thered be summer school or

something....
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Lets just skip to whatevers next.
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Clare shakes her head, not sure how to explain that this
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is the whole point of the night. To fit two whole years into
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one final evening; to dump all the pieces out of the box and
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then put them back together again in the right order so
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that they can see the whole thing spread out before them.
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And so that they can say goodbye.
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But to do that, they need to start at the beginning.
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No, she says, looking up at the stone building. There
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has to be a way in. Its the first place we saw each other....
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Aidan smiles. Mr. Coadys Earth Science class.
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Exactly, she says. Not that you remember.
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Of course I do.
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You do not. At least not that first day.
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Oh, come on, Aidan says, laughing. How could any
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one not remember you?
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Impossible, she agrees, though she knows thats not
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true. Clares been called a lot of t hingssmart and funny,
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driven and talentedbut memorable certainly isnt one
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of them. The most important things about h

erthe ones
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shes most proud o

fare apparent only once you get to
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know her. At first glance, shes almost entirely unremark
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able: brown hair and brown eyes, average height and ordi
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nary looks. Mostly, she just blends in, which has always
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been fine with her: You could do a lot worse in high school.
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But that meant that before Aidan, no boy had ever really
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noticed her before.
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That first day, hed sat down at the desk right behind
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hers. The teacher was handing out geodes to pass around
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the room, and when it was her turn with one of them,
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Clare cupped it in her hands. It looked like a regular old
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rock on the outside, but inside, it was full of glittering pur
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ple crystals. When she turned to pass it to the new kid,
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he kept his eyes on the stone. But laterafter hed finally
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noticed her, after theyd both realized that this was the
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start of s omethingshe would come back to that moment
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again and again. Because thats how she felt when she was
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with h
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and dull, and it wasnt until she met him that something
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cracked open inside her, and just like that, she began to
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shine.
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We have to get inside, she says now, feeling oddly

desperate.
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Aidan gives her a strange look. Does it really matter?
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Yes, she says, rattling the door handle once more,
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though its clearly useless. We have to start this thing
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right.
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She knows he doesnt understand why this is so impor
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tant to her, and shes not sure she could tell him even if she
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tried. Its just that the clock is ticking down fast toward
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tomorrow, when everything will change. And thisthis
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plan for their last night togetherwas supposed to be the
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one thing she could control.
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All summer, Clare has been poring over class descrip
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tions and campus maps and messages from her new room
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mate, trying to get a clearer picture of what her life will
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soon look like. But as much as shes read, as much as shes
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tried to find out, its impossible to imagine the details. And
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its the not knowing thats the hardest part.
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Theres so much of it, too. She doesnt know whether
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shell be able to balance Intro to Psychology with History
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of Japan, or whether shell find someone to sit with in the
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dining hall during those first few crucial days, when loose
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collections of strangers start to solidify into groups of
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friends like hardening cement.
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She doesnt know whether shell get along with her room
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mate, a girl from New York City named Beatrice St. James,
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who seems to only want to talk about what bands shes been
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seeing this summer, and whoClare suspectswill end
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up wallpapering their room with concert posters.
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She doesnt know whether its a mistake to leave her win
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ter coat behind until Thanksgiving break, whether shell
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find it unbearable to share a bathroom with twenty other
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people, whether girls from the East Coast will dress dif
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ferently than the girls here in Chicago. She doesnt know
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whether shell stand out or blend in, sink or swim, feel
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homesick or independent, happy or miserable.
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And mostly, she doesnt know if shell be able to sur
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vive all this without having Aidan on the other end of the
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phone.
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Now she steps back from the wooden doors of the school
with a defeated sigh.
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This, she admits, is not a great start.
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Aidan shrugs. Who cares? I mean, dont you think this
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is close enough?
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Close enough isnt good enough.
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Of course not, he says, rolling his eyes, but he follows
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her anyway as she makes her way along the building, past
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the staff parking lot and the auditorium and the whole
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east wing until they loop around to the back. Each time
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they pass another door, one of them jogs over to try it, but
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theyre all locked, every single one of them.
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Finally, just behind the school, they stand at the ground-
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floor window of Mr. Coadys classroom, their hands
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cupped against the glass as they peer inside. The room
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is dark and quiet, the chalkboard wiped clean, the black
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tables coated in a thin layer of dust, the rocks and other
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samples stacked neatly in cases along the opposite wall.
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It looks different, Aidan says. Doesnt it?
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Beside him, Clare nods. It almost seems like its smaller
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or something.
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That must be because were such big-time college stu
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dents now, Aidan says with a grin, and they both step
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back again. He puts a hand on her shoulder. Im sorry we
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couldnt get inside.
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She doesnt answer him; instead, she lifts her gaze to the
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top of the enormous window, then runs her fingers along
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the edges before rapping on the glass.
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I wonder if she begins, but Aidan cuts her off.
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No way, he says. Dont even say it.
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I wonder if we could break in somehow, she says,
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ignoring him.
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Are you kidding?
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She blinks at him. Not entirely.
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I dont think this is exactly the right time for either of
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us to get arrested, he says, the color rising in his cheeks,
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as it always does when he gets frustrated with her. I have
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a feeling UCLA might frown upon that sort of thing, and
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I dont need to give my dad another excuse to be disap
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pointed in me. Not when Im just about out of here.
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Yeah, but
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He holds up a hand, stopping her before she can con
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tinue. I bet Dartmouth wouldnt be too thrilled about
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it, either, he reminds her, then gestures at the window.
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Besides, were right here. I realize the phrase close
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enough isnt in your vocabulary, but why is this so impor
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tant to you?
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Because, she says, holding out the piece of paper,
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which is now balled up in her hand, because this is our
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last night. And its supposed to be perfect. And if we cant
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even get this right...
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Aidans face softens. This isnt a metaphor, he says. If
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we dont check off everything on this list, all that means is
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were flexible. We can roll with the punches. And thats a
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good thing, you know?
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Youre right, she says, swallowing hard. I know

youre right.
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But still, she feels inexplicably sad. Because of course
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Aidan would think that. He wants desperately for every
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thing to work out between them. If he walked over a patch
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of sidewalk right now that read
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ABSOLUTELY BREAK UP TONIGHT
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hed still manage to somehow explain it away, to turn it
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around and make it into something positive.
CLARE AND AIDAN SHOULD
in brightly colored chalk,
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Maybe the world isnt full of signs so much as its full
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of people trying to use whatever evidence they can find to
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convince themselves of what they hope to be true.
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For Clare, it seems pretty clear that a start like this
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doesnt bode well, and she feels a small glimmer of satis
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faction at this: the prospect that shes been right all along,
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and that now, even the universe agrees that the only logi
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cal thing to do is part ways with Aidan.
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But this is followed by a powerful wave of grief over the
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thought of actually having to do this, and she inches closer
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to him, feeling a little unsteady.
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Aidan circles his arms around her automatically, and
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they stand there like that for a moment. In the distance, a
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car engine roars to life, and a few birds cry out overhead.
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Around them, the sky is fading from blue to gray, the edges
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going blurry, and Clare presses her cheek against the soft
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cotton of Aidans shirt.
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Has anyone ever suggested that you might have some
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control issues? he says with a smile, stepping back again.
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He takes the paper gently from her hand and smooths it
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out again. Looks like this rules out number eight, too.
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The fall formal, she says with a nod. Our first dance.
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Right, he says. No chance of getting into the gym,
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either. Too bad Im not allowed to be romantic, or else Id
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make you dance with me right here.
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Thats okay, she says. Ive already seen your moves.
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Not all of them. But dont worry. The night is still
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young. Im saving my best stuff for later.
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I cant wait, she tells him, realizing just how much she
means it.
03
Whatever happens later, they still have the rest of tonight.
04
And maybe that will be enough.
05
She links her arm with his, leaning into him as they
06
start to walk back to the car. A breeze picks up, and for
07
the first time Clare notices theres a bite to it: an early
08
hint of autumn. Normally, she loves this time of year, and
09
for weeks now, whenever shes told someone about Dart
10
mouth, theyve brought up the fall foliage in New Hamp
11
shire: the brilliant reds and yellows and oranges spread
12
out over the campus and beyond. Clare has no doubt shell
13
find it enchanting once she gets there. But right now, she
14
doesnt want to think about the coming of a new season.
15
She just wants to live in this one for as long as she possi
16
bly can.
17
Theyre nearly to the car when she stops short.
18
Shoot, she says, glancing back over her shoulder. I
19
meant to get a souvenir.
20
So this is a scavenger hunt.
21
I just thought it might be nice. You know, to have
22
something from each place we stop tonight.
23
Aidan tilts his head at her. You sure this wasnt just an
24
elaborate plan to steal all those precious gemstones from
25
the Earth Science classroom?
26
27S
28N
I think precious might be overstating it, she says.

But no.
Okay, then, he says, stooping to grab an o
rdinary-
14
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
looking rock from the ground at his feet. Its slate gray and
01
rounded at the edges, and he rubs at it with the end of his
02
plaid shirt before handing it over with a solemn look.
03
Here, he says, and Clare feels the weight of it in her
04
palm. She runs her thumb over the smooth surface, think
05
ing back to that first day shed seen him in class, the way
06
his face had lit up when he turned over the rock to find
07
all those purple crystals, like it was a fortune cookie or an
08
Easter egg, the best kind of surprise.
09
By my authority, Aidan is saying now, as a Bplus
10
student in Mr. Coadys junior year Earth Science class,
11
Im pleased to inform you that this little gem is now offi
12
cially considered precious.
13
And heres the amazing thing: Now it was.
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
S27
N28
15
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
01
02
03
04
05
06
07
08
09
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27S
28N
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
01
02
03
04
05
06
The Pizza Place
07
08
7:12 PM
09
10
For a while, the two of them stand just outside Slices, peering
11
in through the fogged windows at all the unfamiliar faces.
12
Didnt take them very long to move in, huh? Aidan
13
says, squinting at a corner booth that used to belong to
14
some of his lacrosse buddies and that is now occupied by
15
a cluster of sophomore girls all huddled over their phones.
16
Out with the old... Clare says lightly, though she feels
17
a bit unsettled, too. After two weeks of g oodbyestwo
18
full weeks of sending their friends off one at a timeit
19
feels like the town should be empty now. But here, it looks
20
like any other night, the place completely packed, full of
21
laughter and gossip and noise.
22
Its just that its no longer their laughter and gossip and
23
24
noise.
Aidan turns to face her, his blue eyes bright. Let me
25
guess, he says, rubbing his hands together. First place I
26
S27
spilled something on you.
N28
Clare shakes her head. Nope.
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
01
First place you saw me trip over my own feet? First
02
time you saw me eat four slices of pizza in under ten min
03
utes? First time I did that trick with a straw wrapper?
04
First place we talked, she says, stopping him, because
05
she knows this could go on all night. Not that it was much
06
of a conversation, but it was the first time you spoke actual
07
words to me.
08
Oh, yeah, he says. I remember now. Im pretty sure
09
I said you were the most beautiful girl Id ever seen, and
10
then asked you out right there on the spot.
11
12
Close, Clare says with a smile. You asked me to pass

the Parmesan.
13
Ah, he says. One of my lesser-used pickup lines.
14
Worked on me, she says as he pulls open the door.
15
Inside, the restaurant is thick with steam and filled with
16
the smells of tomato and mozzarella. Theres exactly one
17
middle-aged couple in the far corner, hunched over their
18
pizza and looking hassled by the chaos all around them.
19
Otherwise, pretty much everyone is under the age of eigh
20
teen. Thats the way its been for as long as anyone can
21
rememberthis place isnt so much a restaurant as an off-
22
campus lunch spot, an after-school meetup point, a week
23
end hangout for the high school crowd. With its cracked
24
leather booths and basic brown tables, the row of aging
25
video games along one wall and the ironclad rule that
26
slices come plain only, its always sort of belonged to the
27S
towns younger population.
28N
Just inside the doorway, Aidan stops short, and Clare
18
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
sees that their usual table is occupied by a few of the
01
underclassmen from the lacrosse team. When they notice
02
Aidan, they start to scramble to their feet, but he waves
03
them back down again.
04
Sorry, one of them says. He looks like a younger ver
05
sion of Aidan, round-faced and broad-shouldered and
06
easygoing, but all the confidence drains right out of him at
07
the sight of his former team captain. Theres a note of awe
08
in his voice as he apologizes. We thought youd already
09
skipped town.
10
Just about, Aidan says, clapping him on the back.

Im headed out tomorrow.
11
12
Do practices start right away?
13
Aidan nods. Preseason.
14
Well, good luck, man, he says, and a few of the oth
15
ers chime in with well wishes, too. Cant wait to hear all
16
about it at Thanksgiving.
17
As they walk away from the table, Aidan takes Clares
18
hand, and she gives his a little squeeze. She catches sight
19
of their reflection in the darkened window and realizes
20
how lost they both look, like theyve walked into a familiar
21
room to find that all the furniture has been rearranged.
22
But then they recognize a voice over near the register, and
23
they both turn to see Scotty, leaning against the counter
24
and scraping his pocket for coins.
25
Aidan steps up beside him, slapping down a five-dollar

bill.
S27
Its on me, he says, reaching out to punch his friends
19
26
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
N28
01
shoulder, but it doesnt quite land because Scotty manages
02
to dodge him, cuffing Aidans ear before ducking away
03
again. Clare hangs back as the two of them tussle the way
04
they always do, circling each other like boxers until they
05
notice Oscarthe hulking, largely silent cashier who has
06
been there f oreverwatching them from behind the coun
07
ter, looking entirely unamused.
08
How many? he asks, raising one eyebrow.
09
Aidan coughs, straightening up again. Five, he says.
10
Please.
11
Oscar skulks off toward the oven without another word,
12
and Scotty reaches over and gives Aidans arm one last
13
thump. Thanks, man.
14
I feel like I should start some sort of charity pizza fund
15
for you before I go, he says. Im worried youll starve
16
without me.
17
Ill manage, Scotty tells him, pushing up his thick-
18
framed glasses. His dark eyes move between Aidan and
19
Clare. So, he says, this is it, huh?
20
Aidan nods. Last night.
21
For a little while, anyway, Scotty says.
22
Clare gives him a reassuring nod. Just for a little while.
23
And you two are, uh, doing okay? he says, though its
24
clear what hes really asking is this: Have you two decided
25
what to do yet?
26
Were fine, Clare says, exchanging a look with Aidan.
27S
Whos fine? Stella asks, appearing at their side. Shes
28N
wearing all black, as usual, from her boots to her jeans to
20
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
her shirt and all the way up to her earrings, two feathery-
01
looking things that get lost against her jet-black hair. She
02
always manages to look as if shes preparing for a burglary,
03
and Clare cant help feeling conspicuous next to her in
04
spite of the fact that shes wearing a completely normal
05
spectrum of colors: a blue sundress with a green cardigan.
06
Whereve you been? Clare asks. I thought you were
07
coming over this afternoon.
08
Oh, Stella says, twisting her mouth up at the corners.
09
Yeah. Sorry about that. I got caught up with something.
10
With what? she asks, but Stellas eyes have drifted
11
over to Scotty, who is busy pouring oregano directly into
12
his mouth. Most of it lands down the front of his Batman
13
Tshirt, and he coughs and pounds on his chest, his eyes
14
watering as he attempts to swallow the rest.
15
Its like watching a toddler try to figure out how food
16
works, Stella says, shaking her head. Scotty glares at her
17
as he wipes the flakes from his shirt, and as always, Stella
18
glares right back. She has a couple of inches on him in
19
the staggeringly high heels she always insists on wearing,
20
and after a moment, Scotty just shrugs and returns to the
21
oregano.
22
The fact that the two of them have never gotten along
23
usually isnt a problem. But with most of their friends off
24
to school already, their crew has been whittled down to an
25
awkward foursome: Scotty and Stella, already sniping over
26
things that dont really matter, and Aidan and Clare, still
S27
at odds over all the many things that do.
N28
21
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
01
02
03
04
Clare turns back to Stella. You do realize Im leaving

tomorrow morning, right?
Uh, yeah, Stella says after a second. And Im leaving
the next day.
05
So where have you been?
06
She frowns. What do you mean?
07
Whereve you been the last few days? Clare repeats,
08
ignoring Scotty and Aidan, who are looking back and
09
forth between them as if watching a tennis match. At the
10
moment, she doesnt care. All she wants is for Stella to
11
snap out of whatever it is thats been going on with her
12
lately. Because this is a big dealleaving for c ollegeand
13
Clare could really use her best friend right now.
14
This is part of the job description, after all: the unspo
15
ken contract between all best friends. Clare is required
16
to be there for Stellato help her with college essays or
17
tag along during endless thrift-shop excursions, to listen
18
to her complain about the lack of interesting guys at their
19
school, or her trio of exhausting younger brothersand in
20
return, Stella is supposed to be there for Clare, too. Even if
21
it means giving her a hard time.
22
You do know, shed said once, earlier in the summer,
23
interrupting one of Clares frequent musings over what
24
to do about Aidan, that youre gonna break up with him
25
eventually, right?
26
They were in the car on their way to a movie, and Clare
27S
had flicked her eyes away from the road to meet Stellas,
28N
surprised. Why do you say that?
22
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
Because, Stella said, propping a foot on the dash
01
board, its the truth. If it doesnt happen at the end of
02
the summer, itll happen a few weeks later, or at Thanks
03
giving, or Christmas, or next summer. Its inevitable.
04
You dont know that.
05
I do, Stella said, sounding maddeningly confident.
06
And meanwhile, youll spend your whole freshman year
07
sitting around watching your idiot roommate
08
Beatrice, Clare said, exasperated. The moment shed
09
received her new roommates contact information, S

tella
10
who had herself requested a single roomimmediately
11
decided she didnt like the sound of her. And once they
12
started texting, it only got worse. Stella insisted on scru
13
tinizing every message that popped up on Clares phone,
14
rolling her eyes at the steady stream of band names and
15
tour dates Beatrice was constantly mentioning.
16
Fine, Stella said. Youll be sitting around watching
17
your idiot roommate, Beatrice, getting ready to go out to
18
all those totally dope shows she likes so much while youre
19
stuck back at the dorm in your flannel pajamas reading
20
a book because you dont want to have any fun without
21
Aidan, whoby the waywill be out in California getting
22
convinced by his idiot roommate
23
Rob.
24
his idiot roommate, Rob the surfer
25
Rob the swimmer.
26
Whatever, she said, clearly impatient. Rob the swim
S27
mer, whose only concern is apparently whether Aidan is
N28
23
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
01
cool with getting a m

ini-fridge for their room, which Im
02
guessing is not so they can keep their veggies crisp. You
03
know hell definitely be dragging him out to meet girls.
04
And even if he doesnt, Aidan will meet them anyway.
05
Trust me. Thats what college is all about.
06
Aside from the whole learning thing.
07
Thats a very distant second, Stella said matterof
08
factly. The point is, do you really want to spend the next
09
four years feeling guilty because you went out with your
10
roommate one night and got all moony-eyed over some
11
drummer with great hair and killer eyes?
12
13
Clare laughed. When have I ever gone moony-eyed

over a drummer?
14
Well, you havent, Stella admitted, giving her a side
15
ways look. But maybe thats just because you havent let
16
yourself imagine there are other possibilities out there.
17
You mean besides Aidan.
18
I mean, Stella said, besides high school.
19
But all this was early in the summer, when Stella still
20
cared enough to be honest. And when she had time to
21
listen. Lately, she hasnt been around to do either, and
22
even though theyre both still hereat least for one more
23
nightit sort of feels to Clare like her best friend has
24
already left.
25
Maybe its that Stella has been trying to give Clare and
26
Aidan time to figure things out on their own, or maybe
27S
shes just been busy getting ready to leave herself. Or
28N
maybe its that everything is coming to an end, and its
24
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
easier to pretend its not. Stellas never exactly been great
01
at this sort of thing, anyway; shes allergic to sentiment
02
and wary of emotion, so trying to get her to appreciate the
03
significance of a milestone like this is a bit like trying to
04
hug a skittish cat.
05
But still, after fourteen years of friendship, Clare refuses
06
to let her slink off to college without some sort of meaning
07
ful goodbye.
08
Now Stella is leaning against the counter, absently pull
09
ing napkins from the dispenser, avoiding Clares question.
10
Finally, she shrugs.
11
I dont know, she says. Ive been around.
12
Not really, Clare says, shaking her head. You havent
13
been returning calls, youve been showing up late
14
Maybe she cant tell time, Scotty jokes.
15
you havent been returning texts
16
Or type, he chimes in again.
17
Shut up, Scotty, they both say at the exact same time,
18
and then they cant help themselves: As soon as their eyes
19
meet, they start to laugh.
20
Im sorry, Stella says after a moment. Theres just
21
been a lot going on. But well make up for it tonight.
22
Really.
23
You promise? Clare asks, and Stella grins.
24
I d
ouble-pinky promise, she says, holding out her fin
25
gers the way they used to do when they were kids. Clare
26
smiles grudgingly, then hooks her pinkies around Stellas.
S27
Okay, she says as, behind them, Oscar thumps a fist
25
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
N28
01
on the counter. They turn to see that their slices are ready.
02
Aidan grabs the tray, and they all walk over to an empty
03
table by the window.
04
As soon as they sit down, Scotty takes a huge bite of his
05
pizza. The cheese is still steaming, and he winces, drop
06
ping it back onto his plate. Too hot.
07
Stella rolls her eyes. Youre a numbskull.
08
Word of the day? Clare asks. Ever since taking the
09
SATs, Stella has become obsessed with neglected vocab
10
ulary, picking a new word to work into conversation
11
every day.
12
But she shakes her head. Nope, thats just what he is.
13
Todays word is gobsmacked, though I cant imagine Ill
14
have a chance to use it, since theres never anything to
15
be gobsmacked about around here. She glances over at
16
Scotty with a grin. Except maybe how much of a numb
17
skull you are.
18
Is that the kind of vocabulary that got you into a fine
19
school like Florida State? Scotty asks, picking at the
20
crust of his pizza while he waits for the cheese to cool, and
21
Stellastill a little sensitive about her only acceptance
22
g ives him a withering look.
23
Says the guy going to community college, she shoots
24
back, and everyone goes abruptly still. Beside Clare, Aidan
25
lowers his pizza, his mouth still

half-
open, and Stella,
26
immediately realizing shes gone too far, turns pale.
27S
For months now, this has been the one thing nobody has
28N
said. Theyve all spent the summer tap-dancing around
26
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
the subject, and even now, on the eve of their departure, it
01
feels somehow wrong to mention it.
02
Because of all of them, Scottys the only one not going

anywhere tomorrow.
03
04
Not that they didnt all have their share of rejection this
05
past spring. As much as Stellas now looking forward to
06
the warm weather in Florida, what shed really wanted was
07
to be closer to home, just downstate at the University of
08
Illinois. Aidan hadnt gotten into Harvard, even as a leg
09
acy. And though Clare had been feeling confident about
10
her chances at most of the places shed applied, in the end,
11
shed gone only four for twelve.
12
Scotty, though, hadnt gotten a single yes. After a high
13
school career spent coming up with ever more creative
14
ways to escape his classes, it shouldnt have been a big sur
15
prise. But he and Aidan had spent so many months dream
16
ing of conquering California together that it had taken
17
Scotty weeks to get around to telling them, and when he
18
finally did, they could all see how much it hurt. Since then
19
hes done his best to make a joke of itas he does with
20
everything elsebut Clare suspects that the only thing
21
harder than leaving is being left behind.
22
His face is blank now, his ears pink at the tips, and his
23
wiry frame is folded over the table in a way that makes
24
him look even scrawnier than usual. Scottys personality is
25
normally big enough to make people forget about his size,
26
but now its like the air has gone right out of him.
S27
Stella looks uncharacteristically earnest as she lays a
27
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
N28
01
hand on his shoulder. Hey, she says. Im sorry. You
02
know I didnt mean
03
Forget it, he says. Its fine.
04
Clare is struck by a memory of Aidan, sometime
05
just after theyd started dating, suggesting they set up
06
Scotty and Stella. He was still new then, still clueless
07
about the subtle dynamics of the eleventh-grade popu
08
lation, and still unaware of the fact that the two of them
09
had been sparringmore or less uninterruptedsince
10
kindergarten.
11
But Scottys so much fun, Aidan had said, which was
12
true. Most of his other new friends were on the lacrosse
13
team, but hed met Scotty in art class, where they were
14
the only two guys. Their first assignment had been to do a
15
charcoal drawing of an object that was important to them.
16
All the girls had sketched h

eart-shaped lockets and old
17
clocks and ornate diaries. Aidan had drawn his lacrosse
18
stick. But Scotty, of course, had come up with a P

icasso-
19
like rendering of a Mr. Potato Head, and when Aidan
20
leaned over to compliment it without a hint of irony, they
21
became instant friends.
22
Yeah, but hes not right for Stella, Clare had told him.
23
Trust me. Ive known them both a lot longer. Theyre oil
24
and water.
25
But that wasnt exactly true. The problem wasnt that
26
they didnt match; it was that they matched almost too
27S
well. They were both loud and funny, fearless and loyal,
28N
28
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
completely and utterly magnetic. Its just that theyd spent
01
the better part of their lives repelling each other.
02
Really, Stella is saying now, her hand still on his shoul

der. She looks genuinely sorry. That wasnt
03
04
Its okay, Scotty says again, finally looking over at her.
05
I mean, its whats happening, right? You guys are leav
06
ing and Im staying here. Its not like ignoring its gonna
07
change anything.
08
Clare leans forward. Yeah, but...
09
Really, Im fine with it, Scotty says, and then his face
10
cracks a little. At least it means I wont have to share my
11
pizza with you guys anymore.
12
Your pizza? Aidan asks, raising an eyebrow.
13
Yeah, Scotty says with a nod, looking more cheerful
14
already. You guysll be off eating your s econd-rate pizza
15
in your totally untested new pizza places, and Ill still be
16
here...w ith all this to myself.
17
Stella laughs, though Clare can tell its more out of relief
18
than anything else; shes just happy she didnt inadver
19
tently tip the whole night off balance. Scotty gives her a
20
quick sideways glance before turning back to Aidan.
21
And you know what the best part is? he asks, his grin
22
widening. Once you finally hit the road, Ill be free and
23
clear to ask a certain someone out. Maybe she can even
24
come help me eat all that extra pizza....
25
It takes a second for Scottys meaning to register, but
26
when it does, Aidan frowns. Dude, he says, shaking his
S27
N28
29
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
01
head. This is the last time Im gonna say it. Youre not
02
allowed anywhere near my sister.
03
This is a joke that only Scotty ever seems to find amus
04
ing. For Aidan, its still a sore subject, and any reminder of
05
last years spring formalwhen he and Clare had ducked
06
out early to find his best friend kissing his younger sister in
07
a darkened hallwayis enough to make the vein near his
08
temple start to jump.
09
Aidan has always been protective of Riley, and even
10
once the full story came out l aterhow her date had aban
11
doned her, and Scotty had been nice enough to keep her
12
company, and then one thing led to anotherhe was still
13
furious. They didnt speak for weeks after that, Aidan
14
and Scotty, in spite of Clares attempts to patch things up
15
between them. And though their friendship eventually
16
recoveredhelped along by Rileys admission that she was
17
the one who kissed Scotty, and Scottys frantic promises
18
that it would never happen a gainthe subject is still a sen
19
sitive one for Aidan.
20
Most normal people would tiptoe around something
21
like that, avoiding it like a conversational pothole. But
22
not Scotty, who still insists on dredging it up from time
23
to time, apparently hoping it will eventually get funnier.
24
Which it hasnt.
25
Too soon, Clare says, tossing a balledup napkin at
26
him. Across the table, Stella is flashing him a look that
27S
very plainly says: Stop being an idiot.
28N
Scottys smile falters, and he gives them a shrug. Okay,
30
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
okay, he says to Aidan, holding up his hands. I was only
01
kidding. I promise your sister is off-limits.
02
Not like youd have a chance anyway, Aidan says with

a grunt, folding his arms across his chest.
03
04
Hey, Scotty says, glancing up after an attempt to blow

the wrapper off his straw fails completely. Im a catch.
05
06
This makes Stella laugh until she coughs. She pounds
07
her chest a few times for effect, and Scottys face clouds
08
over again.
09
What? he says to Stella, a challenge in his voice.
10
Because you think Im an idiot who couldnt get into any
11
real colleges?
12
No, Stella says firmly. Because I think youre an
13
idiot with a big mouth and a thoroughly distorted sense of
14
self-confidence.
15
As the two of them begin to bicker again, Clare glances
16
over at Aidan, who is usually the referee in these situa
17
tions. But at the moment, hes just watching them with an
18
unreadable expression, his head tilted to one side. When
19
she catches his eye, he gives her a weary smile, but in
20
spite of everything, she can tell theres a part of him thats
21
secretly enjoying it. This is just what hed been hoping for
22
tonightsomething normal. Something light and silly and
23
meaningless. Something that doesnt feel like an ending.
24
Ive got a brilliant idea, Clare says, and Scotty and
25
Stella turn to her as if theyd forgotten anyone else was
26
there. Lets play the quiet game.
S27
I forfeit, Scotty says with a shrug, and Stella says, Of
31
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM
N28
01
course you do, and just like that, theyre off again on an
02
unending circuit of teasing and arguing.
03
Clare leans back in her chair, looking around the tiny
04
restaurant, where the light is warm and yellow. It would be
05
impossible to count the number of nights that had begun
06
or ended here, how many evenings had followed this very
07
same pattern. She lets the blur of it all wash over her: the
08
chirp of the video games and the girls singing tunelessly
09
at a corner table, the smells of garlic and cheese, and the
10
fluorescent lights of the sign in the darkened window, a red
11
so electric it burns her eyes.
12
When she turns back again, Aidan is smiling at her.
13
Hey, he says, leaning to bump her shoulder gently
14
with his.
15
Hey, she says quietly, so quietly its almost lost in the
16
noise of the place, a noise that no longer belongs to them.
17
But Aidan hears her anyway.
18
19
Any chance, he says, that you could pass me the

Parmesan?
20
She reaches out for it, handing it to him with a little
21
smile. But later, when nobodys looking, and the pizza
22
is gone, and the shaker of cheese has been forgotten, she
23
cant help herself: She picks it up again and slips it into
24
her bag.
25
26
27S
28N
32
2/11/15 6:07:28 PM

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Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between (Preview)

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01

Little, Brown and Company

New York Boston

Also by Jennifer E. Smith:

The Geography of You and Me

Hachette Book Group

Poppy is an imprint of Little, Brown and Company.

First Edition: September 2015

Library of Congress CataloginginPublication Data

Smith, Jennifer E., 1980

Printed in the United States of America

To Jenn, with a whole lot of gratitude

They stare at each other for a few long seconds, neither

quite sure how to begin.

Aidan attempts a smile. So.

I guess this is it.

He nods. I guess it is.

You know it doesnt have to be.

I know, I know, he says, holding up his hands. But

time to change your mind.

Only twelve hours, she says, glancing at her watch. I

cant believe thats all we have left.

And thats only if we dont sleep.

Were definitely not wasting any time on sleep, she

tells him, pulling a folded piece of notebook paper from

the pocket of her dress. We have way too much to do.

Aidan raises an eyebrow. Thatd better not be a list of

Its not, she says as she hands it over to him, watching

as he scans the page with a bemused expression. I just

figured maybe we could use a plan.

And this is it?

She nods. This is it.

Okay, he says, taking a deep breath. Then I guess we

should get going.

Together, they start to walk in the direction of the car,

but halfway there, Clare stops short, suddenly and unac

countably nervous, her heart drumming hard in her chest.

She looks over at Aidan with slightly panicked eyes. This

is kind of crazy, isnt it?

That we leave tomorrow, she says, her voice rising a lit

mean...were finally here, you know? At the end of the road.

Or, he reminds her, the beginning.

Clare doesnt say anything; she wants desperately to

believe him, but standing here on the edge of something so

big, it seems impossible.

Trust me, Aidan says, reaching for her hand. A lot

The High School

theyre on their way out to dinner or a movie, or anywhere,

really, even just the kind of aimless, purposeless drive

thats been the only thing on the agenda so many times

before. Their nights always seem to begin in this way: the

two of them sitting in Aidans dusty Volvo, trying to decide

But tonight is different.

Its not a beginning at all. Tonight is an ending.

Aidans hand is still hovering over the keys, and Clare

glances down at the piece of notebook paper on her lap.

During the short walk over to the Gallaghers housea

walk shes made about a thousand times in the past two

yearsshe folded and refolded the page so many times

that its already soft and wrinkled.

Maybe we should just take off or something, Aidan says,

looking at her sideways. Just keep driving till we hit Canada.

Canada, huh? Clare says, raising her eyebrows. Are

He shrugs. Fine. Maybe just Wisconsin, then.