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INTRO:CHAOS
Today it's all the rave for women to juggle just about everything there is available to
add to life, career, relationships, ministry, & recreational obligations. We are one
woman circus performers who smile for the spotlight and perform to the crowds
content. We're masters of confusion! Better yet we're ambassadors of chaos!
Any woman, whether she is a family woman or not, is able to relate to that five letter
word...C-H-A-O-S.
Whether you're a career woman who's earning a degree at the same time or a mother
of four running a household, a business, and serving on the Church board, anyone
who is juggling more than two commitments is controlling chaos. We tend to forget
we only have two hands!
What exactly am I referring to when I say CHAOS? Well, if we want to be logical
then we'd say chaos is a state of utter disorganized
confusion. However, we're women so let's talk about
how we feel when we're swirling in the tornado of chaos.
Many times you hear life coaches or psychologists ask
one simple question, "How do you feel in one word?"

So here are some words to describe women like myself who have lived in a world of
chaos for more time than we'd all like to admit.
FRUSTRATED. EXHAUSTED. UNCERTAIN. GUILTY. EMBARRASSED.
CONFUSED. ANGRY.
BITTER. UNAPPRECIATED. HOPELESS. DEPRESSED. OVERLOOKED. IGNORED.
TRAPPED. UNSTABLE. BETRAYED. OBLIGATED. MISUNDERSTOOD.
COMPLACENT. INADEQUATE. LEFT BEHIND.

If none of those words resonate with you then perhaps this isn't the literature for
you to read. In fact, perhaps you should be writing a book on holding it all together
and being the SUPER achiever of the decade. Most women I interact with will
vouch to one of those words listed above at some point in their everyday lives. You
see there's a secret that we all must learn in our tender years of maturity...we never
fully arrive at total balance and management. Just like success and wealth is a
journey, so is life and business management. It's a process to accept, work at, and
seek to master even when we will never fully master it.
I bet that sounds exhausting all in itself! Not so much! Truth be told, life is a
journey. Everyday is a new opportunity to learn something we've never learned. See
something we've never seen. Feel something we've never felt. Do something we've
never done. Think about it, we were actually given a new change every 60 seconds!
A new minute is a new chance to change what we're saying, doing, and thinking.
It's all about the walk, Ladies.
How does one walk with utter chaos going on from the inside out? That's what I'm

here to share with you. I started this quest to be the perfect wife, mother, or
perhaps I should just say SUPER WOMAN at the young age of seventeen years old.
Now in my life, I look back over the mistakes and the lessons learned and I tell you
this very thing...it's all about trial and error. But, that doesn't mean the mistakes are
a reason to look down on yourself or allow others to either. Mistakes mean find
what works for you. What works for you will create harmony between what you
want inside yourself and what you want the world to look like around you. We look
for a One Size Fits All solution but just as different as we are in our shopping antics
so we are in our skills of the art of balance. The art of balance is only achievable
with the honing of our life management skills.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHEN

YOU SAY LIFE MANAGEMENT ANYWAY?

Most times we are thrown out into the

world with the mentality of sink or swim.
Especially as a teen mother. Many of us
didn't have the wise woman to sit down
and give us words of assurance of how to
balance it all. Many times we don't even
understand the severity of our decisions
and how much we add to our plates with
each commitment we partake in. It

dawned on me one day that there are experienced and inexperienced women alike
who know something is off in their lives but just don't know how to put their
fingers on it. I've decided that life management skills are vital to figuring out that
'off'' thing and figuring out how to work through the 'off'' days still feeling the
promise of the 'on' days where I'm at peace, I'm productive, and I'm ready to take
on all that life throws at me. I'm juggling the balls without exhaustion, confusion,
helplessness, or losing myself in the balancing act.
Life management simply put is the understanding and skills used to exercise your
own authority over your life to handle and direct your life choices and actions
treating them with care, consideration, and full functionality providing the state of
fulfillment, success, and happiness along the process of living. In layman's terms,
you take control of your life and find what works for you to properly manage and
maintain the life that you desire on your terms daily.
I'm sharing with you three elements that I've found to be pretty vital to the ins and
outs of life management. Motivation, Moderation, & Management.

THE NUMBER ONE:

MOTIVATION
There are motivational speakers left and right, east
and west, north and south. All over the world!
Motivational quotes take over the Twitter and
Facebook streams every single day. Sure, one
could argue in this day and time of society there
are so many more people that need motivating due to the economic state of our
country. Motivational inspiration seems to be something that we aren't lacking at all!

However, there is so much speculation out there about women and unhappiness. If
you Google women unhappy there is a smorgasbord of choices to read about how
surprising it's not to hear women are more and more unhappier as the years go on.
If you look deep enough you'll find words of opinion on this top that state that
feminism is the 'evil' that brought women to the place of never enough fulfillment. I
beg to differ.
I believe women weren't happy revolving their lives around men and children all

day. I also believe that women aren't happy commuting to a place where their
families are no where in sight and spending most of the day with people who stand
on the borderline of love and hate. In all honesty, me being on both sides of that
fence at some point in my life, I'd like to say that we experience unhappiness
because we set our expectations to what others want and not what we want
ourselves.
Some women want to be the traditional woman at home with the kids administrating
their home. Some women are on fire for the career mother's world, doing the career
thing, and still going home to the administering of a home. Every woman is as
different as a pair of shoes on the beautifully organized aisles of the DSW shoe
store! Many similarities but different in purpose, attraction, and functionality. We
all have different motives in life.
That is the NUMBER ONE ELEMENT to life management. Knowing your
motives! Knowing what will keep you moving against all odds.
Motivation is what causes a person to act. It's an incentive for action. What will
keep us from succumbing to the depths of negativity during the hard times? Those
words we listed above...those are normal reactions that we all experience at some
point during our everyday lives. What will keep you going when those feelings kick
in?
This is absolutely vital to gaining control of yourself and what surrounds you. You
have to know what will keep you fueled up and driving forward even in the darkest

wilderness. What's your reason for adding ball number five to the already four balls
your juggling for the world to see? What's your motivation?

THE NUMBER TWO:

MODERATION
The definition of chaos was stated as a
state of utter disorganized confusion.
Hence the word disorganized.
Moderation is the process of avoiding
extremes. It's the art of observing your
limits and practicing boundaries where
needed. According to Webster's
Dictionary it also states that moderation is to preside over or act as chairman of.
Many times we don't take control of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and situations
because we don't understand that we are in fact in control. We have authority over
everything that pertains to us. Naturally, some of us learn the exhausting way that
controlling others is a battle to be lost. However, controlling ourselves and our lives

is exactly what moderation is about.

As a mother of four daughters, a wife to one husband, a big sister to my little sister
living with me, a business owner, a community volunteer, a student working towards
several degrees, and a woman seeking to live a life fulfilled I've had my shares of toe
stumping a-ha moments. My personality is usually the type to thrive off of extremes
- too much or too little. In my reading, Everyday Sacred by Sue Bender I was
enlightened with the truth that the frazzled living of too much and the bored and
unsettling living of not enough was solely in my hands. Just enough was a mindset
to master and a belief to pursue.
Just enough exercise and healthy eating to keep me focused on my physical health.
Just enough compromise with my husband to create a partnership and not a
communistic approach to our relationship. Just enough flexibility with my daughters
coupled with just enough strict boundaries to keep them on track and me worthy of
their trust. Just enough humility to delegate what I don't absolutely have to do so
that I can focus on what I have a real passion to do. The list goes on and on.
When you picture a balance you see just enough on each side to keep the balance
leveled on both sides. It's a practice to be considered and mastered day by day.
Again, not another reason to push yourself into a frenzy of perfection but an
opportunity for you to let go of what harms you and implement the actions to keep
you moving forward towards what you want. This can mean removing people,
habits, or beliefs in your life that kept you too far on one side than the other.

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Standing on that rope and balancing that stick is great. While you're walking the
rope you're juggling those balls. However, balancing yourself on that rope requires
focus and moderation. What's going to keep you from toppling over and falling flat
on your face in front of everyone watching. Ladies, we need to practice the art of
moderation in order to manage our lives.

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THE NUMBER THREE:

MANAGEMENT
There's that word again! Management. That's what it's all about, right?
Let's point out the definition of manage, shall we.
To manage means to handle or direct with a
degree of skill;to treat with care;to exercise
executive, administrative, and supervisory
direction of;to work upon or try to alter for a
purpose;to succeed in accomplishing to achieve
one's purpose. As you can see, once again we're
dealing with the mindset.
Will you really handle or direct something when you don't believe you have the
authority to in the first place? What do you work to alter and accomplish if you don't
know the purpose you're aiming to supersede? Better yet, who is there to blame
when you are the one carrying the responsibility of success?
How easily we blame our parents, our husbands, our children, our co workers, etc

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for our own shortcomings. How easily we overlook the areas where we aren't
pushing beyond the mediocre. How easily we don't recognize that our focus is on
the wrong things.
While we may focus on why we aren't keeping our homes spotless, perhaps we
should focus on why we feel like we should be perfect in our housekeeping. After
you've decided why you want to juggle six balls and you learn what makes it possible
for you to juggle those balls while balancing on that rope, it's time to hone in on the
skills that will avail you the success you seek.
How does one begin to manage? Pay attention. Increase your knowledge base on
the area of interest. Find what works for others. Start applying it to your own life.
Find what does and doesn't work for you. Make it a part of your daily things to do.
Management should become a part of you. It should be natural for you to seek
ways to make things turn in the direction that you want them to.
Sure, there are different elements of managing life. You can start looking at
different areas and what will work for you to get the most out of each area. Then
start implementing your plan of action. Your plan of action will yield your success.
Areas such as: Personal Development(feelings, thoughts, physical health), Time
Management, Financial Management, Goal Planning, Career & Entrepreneurial
Skills in respect to Professional Development, Relationship Management, and the
list goes on and on. So, grab onto the reality that you are the chairman of your
success and happiness and start finding ways to treat those desires with care, most
importantly start exercising your authority to chose what will and will not work to

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get the most out of the journey. That's proper management.

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LIFE ON YOUR TERMS

We've come to terms with the importance of knowing
our motives. We've become aware of practicing the art
of moderation. We've been enlightened on what
management is and why we need to exercise it. Juggling
those balls don't seem as exhausting any more because
we juggle on our own terms.
It's unrealistic to say we can limit ourselves to only two
commitments in life. However, even in that situation are
one of those commitments 'US'? We always have to be a part of the commitments
we juggle in life. Many of us put the ball down that is our own so that we can keep
others going. In the end, that type of circus act will leave us in the state of those
words we listed before when the spotlight is shut off and we're standing alone with
no one but our own selves. Learning how to effectively handle the chaos of life is a
skill that all women should be taught at an early age.
We should teach our daughters, sisters, nieces, etc exactly that. The importance of
life management. However, in order to lead others we must first lead ourselves. So
this is to happy leading within. Authentic happiness and a productive journey
towards success is not just a fairy tale. It's a reality when we start within ourselves.

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Something that has proven true in my life NO MATTER WHAT is this...the chaos
on the outside is by no means in control. It's the inner chaos that makes us
absolutely miserable. It's absolutely our choice. :-)
Choose all things that make you smile & keep you walking forward.
BE ENCOURAGED. BE EMPOWERED. BE HAPPY.
~ Niqui Wise

Remember: we're all aiming for the art of balance in life and business. WE
ENCOURAGE YOU TO PLEASE PASS THIS ON!
All rights reserved to Manage UR Life LLC, Niqui Wise.com, Niqui Wise, and Nikki
Cates Hayes (c) 2015
To host a '
Creating Harmony From the Inside Out: Honing Life Management Skills
'
workshop at your office, church, organization, or networking event
contact
Niqui
Wise now for available bookings. These workshops are great for working women,
career mothers, and teen mothers who could benefit from the wisdom and
knowledge of life management skills.
For more information about
Niqui Wise
check out our website and blog. You can
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