April 1

WHAT R-R-R THE BASICS?

Seek Knowledge
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction." Proverbs 1:7.
As this April Fool's Day dawns, we bask in the blue skies that represent the level of wisdom that chooses good
and refuses evil. The foolishness of worldly wisdom that debates selfish opinions of right and wrong does not cloud
our clarity of discernment. We are not April fools...unless we despise wisdom and instruction.
How does one despise wisdom? Despising it implies judging wisdom as petty or worthless and looking down
upon it. If I have wisdom to discern between good and evil and fail to apply that wisdom in my pursuit of knowledge,
I declare that wisdom worthless by my behavior. From my high, proud perch above it I look down on it as not worthy
of my attention. If I have wisdom to guide my actions, but despise it by acting contrary to it, I am a fool.
How do I despise instruction? Both wisdom and knowledge begin with the fear of God (Prov. 9:10; 1:7). We
begin to gain both when we fear (anticipate) what the wisdom of God's authority (know-how) can do to instruct us in
the knowledge of life. If I know that Jesus, the life, can instruct me in how to live and yet I show by my neglect that
His instruction is worthless to me, I am a fool.
To Adam and Eve the choice between life and death was clear and uncomplicated. God Himself taught them,
as they walked in the garden. Life-sustaining knowledge was promoted by the tree of life. Knowledge that led to
death decorated the boughs of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But since the gates have swung shut on
the Garden of Eden, the mix of the knowledge of the good that leads to life and the evil that leads to death has
challenged humanity's choices. As in a great war, the words of life have sought to enter every stronghold of death to
bring freedom to its captives, and the words of death have sought to poison every fountain from which the truth of
life springs. The land which God created to be inhabited by His children has in a sense become alien, enemy territory
for children of the kingdom of heaven. But we are not sent to wander as victims on foreign soil. We are sent as
messengers to bring healing water of life to famished people in places stricken by a famine of it.
To safely drink in knowledge we need the water-purifying kit of wisdom that can separate the polluted from
the pure. This kit is the law of God as it is applied to life by the indwelling Spirit of Jesus. As we subject information
and experience to its test, we'll gain the wisdom we need to detect the pure and reject the poison. None can live
without it. No hall of learning is to be passed by. Wherever students thirst to learn of life, the water of life in all its
tasty flavors must be delivered to them.
Lord, may we use our wisdom to seek knowledge of life in Christ. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Think of things you have that you do not put to good use. Some serve their purpose merely by looking beautiful and
reminding us of lovely days and loving people. But others are worse than wasted when left to age on dusty shelves.
Is it wise to treasure having wisdom and yet brand it worthless by not using it to detect good and reject evil in
whatever packaging we find it?
Consumption of food without regard to nutritional needs creates unhealthy bodies.
Will consumption of information without wise evaluation be likely to form an unhealthy body of knowledge upon
which to build a life?
Do your information-consuming children need help to build their kit of wisdom so they can detect and reject as
necessary?
Which is less costly: time spent evaluating and choosing good or a lifetime spent trying to cure careless consumption
of contaminated information?
When our accumulated knowledge of living is matched with our experiential knowledge of Jesus, the life, do we have
enough of Jesus, the life, to support our knowledge of how we want to live?

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April 2
Power for Good
"..there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments."
Matthew 19:17.
Remember? Good promotes life. If we choose to do good, we must allow God, the only One known to be
good, to empower us to do good, to keep the commandments and enter into life. God has made various laws and
empowers them to operate in our behalf. Among them are laws of gravity, flotation, reproduction, and digestion.
While we can do nothing to actually make them work to our benefit, God works them whenever we cooperate with
them and let Him. The same is true about God's law for loving, moral behavior.
You may buy a new car and read the manual to learn of its many unique features, its expectations for
performance, and its need for maintenance, only to sadly discover that it's not doing any of the things its maker claims
it can do. So with determination to make it work you take the manual in hand, stand in front of the car and read
aloud to it the manufacturer's expectations for performance. Now you see no excuse for the fact that nothing
happens. Obviously the problem is not with you. You received no negative reaction to your reading performance
from the car. It did not start up and run you down. But you have this nagging feeling that you're not really getting
anywhere with this car. You do repeated readings of the manual's performance section, but to no avail. Not even the
car radio responds to your eloquent readings.
You conclude that something is very wrong with the car, so you take it in tow to the manufacturer. He listens
to your mourning and enters the car himself. With a warning call to you to get out of the way, he starts the car,
demonstrates its ability, and then lets you figure it out. The manual describes what can happen, and the maker even
promises that it will if the proper procedures are followed. Without a driver a potentially powerful car is actually
powerless. The key to a car's performance of its duty resides in the active presence of the person who knows how to
operate it.
Children neither live nor love simply because we read their Creator's laws at them. Our words lack power to
make life and love happen. And laws of life cannot empower themselves to work. Life and love occur as we let God
work the laws that make them happen. He does what we allow. All who will let the Holy Spirit write and work God's
law within them may have His love working in them. The Creator, His creative words, and His work are united. We
choose all or prevent all from benefitting us. "Yea...blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it." Luke
11:28. "With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible." Mark 10:27. Our hope is in
this knowledge: "And this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou
hast sent." John 17:3.
Lord, teach us how You operate so that we may cooperate and not stand in the way of Your work in us. In Jesus' name,
Amen.
How do today's concepts relate to you?

In our hurry to grow up sometimes we try to outgrow our need for others, including God, to help us.
We tend to do without whatever we cannot help ourselves to get from life.
Do you view adulthood as a do-it-yourself project? Do you expect others to do likewise?
Do you project this do-it-yourself mind-set to your children?
As they learn it, do you see them displaying a "do-it-yourself" attitude toward you and others?
Does the fact that they can and do achieve some of what you say, make you think they can also love unselfishly
without the Holy Spirit's law and grace working in them?
We push God's law of love at children in vain if we teach selfish "do-it-yourself" attitudes. They need to learn that
God gives so that we can give, and we are giving so they can become equipped to give help. We and they are always
children in God's view, always in need of His empowering First Love so that we can love one another.
When you tell your child to "Grow up!", do you mean "Do without God, let me be, and do it yourself" or "Join me in
looking to God to empower us to love"?

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April 3
Can Data Equal Truth?
"Hear the word of the Lord...for the Lord hath a controversy with the inhabitants of the land, because there is no truth,
nor mercy, nor knowledge of God in the land." Hosea 4:1.
During our son's childhood he brought home a number of his original works of art. One ceramic bowl serves
as a soap dish. His glass bowl with layers of colored sand brightens my computer area. Other beauties are here and
there. Could the sum of his many creations produce a composite picture of His character and personality? The
question collapses under the weight of its injustice. In no way could these isolated items truthfully picture who he was
then or predict who he is now. The sum of these parts could never equal the whole person I know. Why not? Do I
not have enough exhibits or do I lack sufficient research regarding them?
More data is not a cure-all. In our technological society the deluge of information is outstripping our ability
to process and use it effectively. Unable to read or even download it all to our computers, we have given up on trying
to comprehend it all. Its steady flow inundates us. In order to stay on top of it, we spend our days merely skimming
the surface. With little time for deep study our pool of knowledge becomes a mere puddle of befuddlement. Human
contact beats handling data. I learn his needs and love him, as I personally and presently relate to him within God's
will.
Mere data cannot form our experiential knowledge of God. It can inform our pursuits of truth and missions
of mercy and even our knowledge of God. But we do not experience God by observing religious rituals with a fly's eye
focus on which move us down or up the flypaper of self-righteousness. Hosea 4:1 reports a controversy that God had
with His people. There was "no truth, nor mercy, nor knowledge of God in the land." Instead they had a deluge of
religious data about who did or didn't follow their traditions. Their fixation with many minor man-made details
fragmented their view of God into a mere set of rules they used to control one another. By following rules they
sought to avoid God's disapproval and prevent His interference in their affairs. People's deeds and misdeeds became
the messes of childish pottery by which they judged one another. Some they pronounced worthy of status. Some
who posed threats to their evil agendas were probably shamed into silence or alienated into positions of uselessness.
No composite of truth, no portrait of Jesus shone forth from their facts or acts to reveal a knowledge of God.
They hid the light of God's truth under bushels of man-made traditions, busied life with being self-righteous, and
banished need for mercy. What about us? Do we collect others' infractions, misjudge them, label them unworthy and
undeserving of mercy? Do we deny their need for our witness to God's truth and His mercy? Without truth and mercy
in our picture of God, our assumed "knowledge of God" isn't......
Lord, we acknowledge our need for Your truth and mercy. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

As we form our composite pictures of people to gain knowledge of what they know and what they need, what is
comprising our view of them?
Do we view their needs in the light of our knowledge of God's will, and use truth and mercy in relating with them? Do
we see their amateur deeds and misdeeds as evidence of their stages of growth, or as reasons to selfishly flatter or
condemn them?
It is easy to use selected facts to label people and dismiss them from our ministry. But our experiential knowledge of
God draws us to join Him in taking truth and mercy to the sinners Jesus calls to repentance. See Mark 2:17. How
much data do you need before you dare offer people truth, mercy, and knowledge of God?
Do only those who are "all right" get any help from you? Do they need any?
Could focusing on those who don't need any apparent help give you the mistaken idea that you have no need to put
truth and mercy to work?
Recall some person about whom you have collected much data. Does the data add to your courage to share your
knowledge of God with that person? Did you?

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April 4
Standing in the Gap?
"And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land,
that I should not destroy it: but I found none." Ezekiel 22:30.
In our prepackaged and labeled structure of society, we have allowed labels on roles to intimidate us in the
performance of our duties. But society thrives because people fulfill their duties with or without labels. The
conferring of labels or licenses upon people who are not already capable of given tasks does not make them capable.
If they don't know the duties before they get their labels, the labels won't suddenly provide the job skills they need.
This being so, a way of preparing people to fulfill roles in society is essential. This is best achieved by gaining
skill in using seven pairs of reasons to relate within role partnerships. Last month we studied the parent-child pair-guiding and deciding. As the parent guides the child to make wise decisions, the child is getting practice for
becoming a person who may someday become a parent or guide, who can guide others to decide wisely. This month
we deal with teaching and learning in teacher-student role partnerships. As the teacher teaches, the student learns
what he may someday teach. Later we will address the commit-submit, provide-produce, give-receive, govern-grow,
and sanctify-serve pairs of reasons to relate. A mature person needs to exercise all these relating skills. Each is an
essential in the work of love.
While perfecting our relating skills, we make many mistakes. How many unwise decisions did you make to
learn how to decide wisely? How many times did you repeat a mistake before you learned a skill? How many times
did you guide or teach a person without gaining the desired results? Were these reasons to quit? NO! The greater
our needs in these roles the more we need to practice relating in them. A twenty-year old child may still benefit from
guidance in making a tough decision. A student failing in every area must see himself as a student with a great need
to study and learn. Parents and teachers who seem to be failing have precious reasons to keep refining their skills and
no reasons to quit before their jobs are done.
Why do we hesitate to claim these roles for ourselves or to belittle ourselves if we're in them? We think, "I'd
never make a good teacher." or "I could never teach people." or "I'm a lousy parent." or "I'm such a dummy." Such
thoughts reveal our fears that our failure will cause others to reject us and withhold from us the love we seek. Such
concerns sabotage God's very plan for teaching us how to love. We are not just parents, children, teachers, or
students. We are first whole persons called to love freely in every role, as we are needed. God looks for people He
can equip to stand in all human relations gaps. They need to help Him teach, reprove, correct, and train all who need
knowledge of how to perform their roles as loving partners.
Lord, fit me to fit into, not flee, the gaps assigned to me. Amen.
How do today's concepts relate to you?
The bakery shop bakes whatever you order. Bakers shape their dough to meet your need. But grocers without
bakeries can only provide pre-packaged baked goods. If their packages lack what you seek, you must do without it.
Likewise, God is looking for persons that, like dough, can be shaped to fit any role and do what they must to meet any
need.
Just as God is not a whole God if we erase His truth and mercy, we are not whole persons if we refuse some of our
roles and consent to fill only easy ones. Our wholly personal God does not want us to see ourselves as pre-packaged
for only one role. He wants His Spirit-filled "dough" to fit whatever pans out for us.
Scan the seven pairs of reasons for relating to see which tasks you handle comfortably.
What are you doing to become available to people who need your relating skills?
Are you refining your uncomfortable areas of relating?
Which roles do you avoid?
Who depends upon you to fill those roles?
Who will do it if you won't?

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April 5
Light--Time to Learn
"My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother." "Take fast hold of instruction; let
her not go: keep her; for she is thy life." Proverbs 1:8; 4:13.
The joys of parenthood are joined inseparably to the jobs that accompany it. The March parent-child lessons
about guiding and wise deciding barely begin the child's journey from infancy to adulthood. They set in place God's
law of love as the standard for defining good and evil. But on its own the law has no power to work to our good. To
learn how this law does its work in persons (unlabeled people) who choose its good principles, we enter the second
phase of relating, which is teaching and learning.
As we enter our teacher and student roles, we recognize our ignorance of how to apply the law that defines
good and evil to the business of daily living. We agree that God knows what He's doing, but we are in the dark about
just how He operates in us. Our state matches the rainbow color that accompanies this role partnership. Indigo, the
dark blue of the rainbow, reminds us of the color of the night sky just before dawn. Its dim light hides from view the
details of our surroundings that distract us from our task. We feel free to focus on the significant points of light above
us that can only be seen in this teaching-learning relationship. At first they seem so distant, so insignificant, and so far
removed from the hurry and worry of our reality. But as we contemplate their tremendous mysteries and their
timeless messages, we realize that the Creator who cares for them cares for us. We sense deeply what a privilege it is
that "in Him we live, and move, and have our being." Acts 17:28. God's life takes on an overwhelming awe when we
consider that we are "His offspring" (verse 28): He willingly includes us in His life, and we live because He lives.
We want to hurry and do something about it. We get the microscope and start combing our conscience for
every bit of litter that might come to light and make us feel unworthy. But microscopes are not needed in the indigo
stage of learning to love. God works to erase not expose our ugly details that dog our steps and embarrass the
daylights out of us. He does not turn spot-lights on us. He wants us to seek the lovelight in Him. It's telescope time.
To assuage our fear of doing wrong, He sets the telescope to one promise in His law of love: "Thou shalt not kill." In
the vastness of His boundless creation, He takes us beyond ourselves so we need not fear our fragileness. "In Him we
live" sings its blessed assurance to fasten our teetering hope firmly on the Rock beneath us. As we scan the sky, we
see no list of do's and don't's. We sense that our safety depends not upon our sight but upon God's night and day
watchcare over us. In Him no killing of our teaching or learning wrecks the indigo adventure. "Thou shalt not kill"
mixes with the music of the birds that sing their hope of dawn before they see it.
Lord, thank you that our darkness does not hide us from Your marvelous light. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

As offspring of God through Jesus, the more we study and value His life, the more we know about ourselves as
members of His family, and the more accessible His kingdom riches become to us. We can't gain access to benefits of
which we know nothing.
What are some of the great mind-stretching points about God that seem to have little to do with you until you make
the connection? New knowledge builds our base of what we know, so we can expand the scope of what we do well.
How willing or hesitant are you to step into the teaching and learning roles?
Where do you sit as a teacher or as a learner? What challenge facing you begs to be addressed?
What are your children not doing that you'd like them to do? Do they know how to do it?
Are you so busy noting that they're not doing it, that you fail to teach them how to do it?
Do you ignore ignorance in your children because you lack an answer to offer?
Do you resist teaching or learning because of past experiences that were unpleasant?
Do you refuse to see its potential for forming a love relationship?
If you allow your discomfort to prevent you from entering into teacher-student role partnerships, who will suffer from
that loss? How?
Will that suffering increase or lessen your discomfort?

106

April 6
Path to Positive Attitudes
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an
expected end." Jeremiah 29:11.
While the world sleeps in silence, you and I seek a view of the God who works behind the scenes to order the
events of our lives. With our trust in place, our state of ignorance no longer strikes fear, but lights hope that we can
erase it one untruth at a time. As we journey nearer to dawn, every step on the path of our knowledge will enlist our
on-purpose attention. Each discovery will bring delight as another puzzling aspect of our environment fits into place.
The predawn twilight is a good time to sort what dances about in our thoughts. As we awake from sleep to walk, we
wonder. Which thoughts were shades of nightmares and which are shadows of future realities? Which are fond
fantasies and which are "face the facts and act" fodder?
Our framework of faith in the wisdom of God's authority gives us the sorting device we need as "in Him we
live...and have our being." Acts 17:28. God has in mind for us "thoughts of peace, and not of evil". Anything floating
in our stream of thought that promotes peace with God and among our fellow beings is a shadow of God's future
reality and unites with His eternal flow of thoughts. We can walk on this mental water to Jesus, the expected end God
has in mind for us. Any seeds of evil thoughts are hitchhikers that have fastened onto us in the darkness of our carnal
sleepwalking. As day dawns, we brush them aside as we see them irritating our walk along the path of peace. On this
seven-part path we'll meet positive mental attitudes that can promote God's peace on earth and good will toward
men. We've found faith, we walk in hope, and will move on to love, courage, sympathy, contentment, and
cheerfulness.
We have His voice to cheer us. "And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your
heart. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord." Jeremiah 29:13,14. During our journey we have His schoolmaster
to teach us the way to life. "..the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by
faith." Galatians 3:24. The law, like an early morning mirror, shows us where we err from the path of peace. It points
where we've been and promises us a future in which we shall be free to love. Like a one-way-view window it is a glass
through which we see darkly, but pictured by it and standing behind it is the Master Teacher, the Hope with whom we
seek a face to face encounter.
"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even
as also I am known." I Corinthians 13:12. In the indigo of early morning we welcome the increasing light of knowledge
that enables us to know Him. "Thou shalt not kill." He promises us in His commandment VI that He wrote with His
own finger. As we walk this rocky path, we're glad our life is safe in His hands.
Lord, awake us to the view of Jesus standing behind His law of love that He wants to fulfill in us. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Do you ever wake wondering which of the thoughts in your mind are about nightmares and not so, and which deal
with realities that are before you?
Is it a relief to cast aside alarming thoughts of the dream realm without having to solve them?
As we enter this teaching-learning section, we need to sort out our fantasies fed by carnal desires from the real needs
that await ASAP responses. Teachers help daydreamers deal with real issues of life by helping them recognize which
dreams are fantasy and which are do-able. It takes time to defuse the fears that mix nightmares with reality and cause
students to refuse the light needed to disperse them. It takes time to disengage their real needs from fantasy
solutions. It takes longsuffering to walk at their pace in indigo lighting and resist digging into all that she or he sees
while waiting for them to see the one step that is next for them.
How are you doing as you walk the path to peace with the ignorant people in your life?
Can you walk in hope with one who lacks knowledge of love, courage, sympathy, contentment, cheerfulness?
Do you teach in the starlight of God's love or bleach your student in the spot-light of faultfinding, criticism, and
censure?

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108

April 7
TEACH with Goal
"And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith,
so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing." I Corinthians 13:2.
Students often do not give pied piper responses to the piping of the teacher. Despite the music's hopeful
sound, they seem to catch another strain that stops them from joining the teacher in quenching their thirst for
knowledge. Our student is no different. Some hidden inhibitor works to box in our child-turned-student and prevent
him from responding freely to opportunities to learn. Our challenge is before us.
All is apparently in order. On the outside of the front door of his box and clearly IN FRONT of the teacher are
the labels, TEACH with Goal. Teach what? Commandment VI, "Thou shalt not kill." With what goal in mind shall he
teach it? His teaching goal is to inspire his student to value hope in the knowledge of God's life. As we have seen,
"This is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent." John 17:3.
Knowledge of God's life in us brings the hope we need to live well.
But the door is strangely still. Not a move to value life stirs behind it. What is the meaning of his
unwillingness? Could it be that his desire for knowledge of God's life has already been killed? Has death, not life,
been so glamorized, that peaceful life without violence bores rather than challenges him? Does he hear "Thou shalt
not kill" as a demand to watch out that he doesn't kill teacher's love for him by his stupidity? Has he been praised up
and shot down so often that disbelief has displaced his hope in getting anywhere? Does the shut door postpone his
need to reveal his unfinished "homework" and hear his punishments recited? Has God's life so rarely been seen at
work in the teacher that he is unaware of this ideal value? Have past events at the door of education caused him to
despise knowledge and instruction?
"Wake up! Are you ready to learn how to gain hope in the knowledge of God's life and thus increase your
sense of the value of your life? Don't you need some hope for the long day ahead?"
He moans through the shut door, "Even if I could 'understand all mysteries, and all knowledge;... I am
nothing.' The weight of my ignorance is no greater burden than the weight of knowledge of my duty to God would
be. My ignorance makes no difference to any. My knowledge would obligate me to make a difference. If I had it all
yet have no love, I could not bear the weight of that burden."
What happens to bring people to this depressed state? What behavior dynamic sets people up to become so
down on life, especially God's life? Let's explore it.
Lord, teach us what we are doing that kills the student's love for learning and gaining knowledge of You. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Recall incidents in which your parents taught you various things.

Were the experiences enjoyable or difficult?
Were you a willing or a reluctant student for them?
How do your children respond to your efforts to teach them?
Do they recognize your responsibility and duty to teach them?
Do you clarify the goal you are valuing in teaching them a given principle?
Example: Life is precious and priceless, so we must foster it, not kill it.
Do they see learning as an enjoyable and essential part of their relationship with you?
Or is it an unwelcome intrusion upon their own agendas?
Have you ever felt like you are nothing, or that you're being treated as nothing?
What works to lift your hope when you are down on life?
Do you lose patience with any who lack enthusiasm for your ideas?
Do you find thoughts of encounters with God joyous or depressing?
Are you comfortable with your ignorance about God or do you thirst to learn more about how He operates His law of
love?

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April 8
Depression Deepens Dilemmas
"Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain." Proverbs 25:14.
Last month we watched how DAD (Do As Demanded) modeled demand making in relation with his son. We
saw him replace God as the son's source of love by promising to provide what love the boy could earn. We watched
how distrust developed as DAD failed to do what he said he'd do. We discussed how to move from distrust to faith
via the stages of teaching, reproof, and correction, which led out of the boxed-in state of distrust into training to trust.
Well-meaning as Dad was about doing things God's way, he still had much to learn about how God operates.
He expected a God of love to love his way of doing things. He accepted no standards of excellence which might
reveal gaps between what he was and what he could become. His measuring sticks were skewed away from goals of
excellence to his own goal of personal superiority over all who surrounded him. He measured his worth by comparing
what he had or was to things lacking in the quality being measured. It's easy to show the superiority of things if one
compares them to poor models. While he hoped that his son would bring fame to his name, he often shamed him in
his measuring process. Next to his short son, he was tall. He measured wealth by poverty, intelligence by stupidity,
beauty by ugliness, slim by fat, and health by illness. His desire to excel in his son's eyes kept him inventing ways to
be better than others. He was in all ways better than his boy and right every time. By implication his boy was worse in
all ways, and simply and only wrong when he differed.
Let two balloons show how struggles for self-esteem set the stage for depression, the survival mechanism of
the loser in the battle. One balloon is fully inflated with pride, ready to burst with a bang at the prick of a pin. One is
partly inflated, limp, and wrinkled. Which would you attack with a pin to get the best reaction? The fully inflated one!
The limp one looks like someone has already picked on it. For which one might you feel sorry? The limp one moves a
person to blow it up to its full blown size, so it can stand the pressure of being leaned on without collapsing.
Now if a son could, like a balloon, deflate himself to a low self-esteem level, perhaps people might try to
inflate him in the hopes of building him up into a proud looking person upon whom they could lean for affection as
payment for curing his depression. Why not use Dad's lack of love for him as a reason to gain sympathy and entice
love from other people? Do I think that people think this way? No. Do I think that people risk behaving this way
when they act on the basis of their feelings and FAIL to think about the reasons they choose to behave as they do?
Yes.
Lord, may your Holy Spirit, not my hot air, sustain my role partnerships. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Have you ever belittled or deflated yourself to avoid the risk of having another do it to you first?
If you say, "I'm not a very good singer, am I?" do you expect people to prick your balloon and attack your singing or
to flatter you in some way?
Have you ever inflated someone else, hoping to be complimented in return?
Is your goal to gain worth so people will think it worth their time to love you?
Have you noticed that what we practice we tend to become good at doing?
Is becoming good at using depressing behaviors a good practice or a deadly habit?
Recall why a certain event had a depressing effect on you.
Did it puncture your pride, make you feel rejected, or cut off love you expected?
Or did you choose to respond to it with depression to protect your proud "self" from attack?
Consider your measuring techniques. Do you say, "I have. You have not.
I am better than you. You're inferior to me."?
The desire to get love motivates worth-based behavior. Need-based behavior values chances to give love.
Do you say, "You lack what I have, so I need to share with you."?
Let us study to gain knowledge of how God's life within us can improve life for us.

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April 9
How Demand Makers Emerge
"Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth? This persuasion cometh not of Him that calleth
you." Galatians 5:7, 8.
One who struggles to become worthy of love in the eyes of a person who refuses to reward the effort,
becomes weary of trying. He returns to his boxed-in condition where we shall meet him today. As he sits in silence
trying to sort his ambivalent feelings, he does not notice the back door swing open and MOM enter with a plan.
"What's wrong with you, Son? You're so quiet today."
"What's wrong with me?" he retorts, "What isn't wrong with me? I can't do anything to please Dad. No
matter how hard I try, he calls me wrong, and withholds the rewards he promises. I'll never manage to earn his
approval and win his love."
"I know just how you feel. I see your life as a Mirror Of Mine (MOM-non-gender-specific acronym used to
portray how indulging, demand-meeting parents operate). Dad treats me the same way he treats you. I can't win any
love from him either," consoles his MOM. "But I have an idea for how we can Supply Our Needs (MOM's view of
SON). I need affection because Dad doesn't give me much. You need approval to build your self-esteem, so you can
persuade people to love you. You won't get it from Dad, so let's make a deal. If you give me affection, I'll give you
acceptance, which is better than approval because you don't have to earn it. It means you're fine as you are. Some
people even call it unconditional love. We'll call this plan our Acceptance Affection Alliance. (AAA) What do you say?"
[See enemy's a-a-a scheme--Feb. 6.]
"I agree. If you give me the acceptance I want, I'll give you the affection you want. But how shall I deal with
Dad's demands?"
"Do as I do. If he treats you right, treat him right. If you can't get his approval, get angry. Then he'll think he
did wrong. It's only fair to treat him like he treats you. Just ignore Dad if he gets angry. I will accept you no matter
what Dad and you do. If you do as I say, this plan will Supply Our Needs, SON."
MOM's attempt to cushion the son against his DAD-son partnership sets the stage for wrecking it. Their
collaborating against Dad undermines his authority and increases his difficulties in getting his son to cooperate. As
MOM sees no wrong in his behavior, and indulges his every whim, he undergoes the grooming required to create
demand makers. Demand makers are people who see themselves as always right. They get people to meet their
demands, to do as they say, by promising to give them love in payment for their good efforts. As a MOM-made
demand maker, he will challenge Dad's claim to being right by calling himself right, as Mom has taught him. Wanting
to survive as the head demand maker of the home, Dad will criticize his son to make him look stupid, so Dad, the
smarter one, can know he's right and regain his supposed authority again. All lose in this costly dynamic, but none
benefit.
Lord, show us wherein we are indulging such AAA relations. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Did one parent make demands upon you while the other cushioned you and indulged your desires?
Did the other parent overrule the decision or just get angry or ignore it?
Did one parent withdraw from disciplining you and let the other one make all the decisions?
Was it because his/her authority over you had been wrecked by a MOM Acceptance Affection Alliance?
Do you work with adults who want their wishes indulged without fulfilling the duties that are required of them?
One who C-U-S-H-I-O-N-S a child C-ollaborates with child against the other parent, U-ndermines the other parentchild partnership, S-ees no wrong in child's behavior, H-inders the development of integrity, I-ndulges his demands,
O-bligates him to meet demands, while N-ever daring to make specific demands, all of which S-poils a child to death.
How are you "cushioning" your children? Do you lean on them for your affection because your spouse is not
affectionate? Do you think your child is always right or always wrong?
Do you indulge your children's unwise desires for fear they may not like you?
Do you rationalize your behavior as protecting the children from your spouse's discipline?
Is either "DAD" or "MOM" treatment good for children?
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April 10
Acceptance Affection Alliance
"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee,..: seeing
thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children." Hosea 4:6.
The best laid plan of MOM and SON began with enthusiasm. Their hopes were high, as MOM poured forth
acceptance and SON supplied affection. But trouble came in the teaching role. Her job was to teach him to find hope
in the knowledge of God's life and to love the commandment promise, "Thou shalt not kill." She was to teach him
what promotes emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical life. He was to practice choosing life-promoting behaviors
and refusing death-inviting behaviors.
Maybe some needed God for this, but she felt no such dependence upon Him. She knew her son's needs for
life, and she could teach him not to kill, steal, and lie, without intruding God between them. She'd give the
acceptance he needed. If she could make him dependent upon her, not God, she'd have a sure source of affection
from him. At first MOM did her best to teach him. "SON, it's not safe to ride your bicycle on this busy street," she
said, "and don't play with dangerous objects or visit dangerous places."
The plan had a problem. Having been sensitized by disapproval and rejection from DAD, SON saw her
corrections as accusations that he was wrong and feared they would be followed by rejection. Therefore he viewed
advice as an emotional threat to himself, not as something he could learn and do. "But, MOM, I don't feel very
accepted when you keep trying to correct me." (Translate: Remember you said I'm right. If you really do accept me,
you'll love the behaviors that I hate about myself, you'll accept my words and do as I say. I won't give you affection
unless you accept me as I am, do as I say, and stop correcting me. Stand behind what you did when you gave me
demand maker status.)
As she attempted to teach him how to live, MOM discovered that whenever she tried to teach, he refused to
give her affection or to obey her. She found that just parroting God's promises (Thou shalt not kill, etc.) did not give
him power to obey them. The One who made the promises must fulfill them in him. So what good were they if they
only stopped her son from loving her? She'd let the church teach the rules and confront his resistance. She cast aside
God's law and killed his childhood chance to learn to love from his mother.
Eager to please him (not God), she stopped teaching him to love and worked hard to shower him with
unconditional acceptance. Teaching, she decided, was not her forte. Others could do that. "I can't tell him anything,
because he's so sensitive," she sadly explained. (Translate: I count on him for my affection. If I try to teach him, he
stops giving me affection, so I don't teach him.)
Lord, teach me to use the law to aid not agitate learners. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Remember that DAD (Do As Demanded) and MOM (Mirror of Me/Mine) describe behavioral patterns; they are not
gender-restricted concepts. These behaviors are too common in both sexes. In fact, the same person may play DAD
at one time and MOM at another. My purpose is to teach, not to lay guilt trips on hard-working parents of either sex.
What lessons can be learned from the Acceptance Affection Alliance?
Can we lean upon children to supply our love and sustain our well-being without injuring them?
Can a child who lacks knowledge to govern his own life handle the duty of parenting a parent?
How does acceptance serve to meet children's needs?
When does unconditional acceptance demonstrate unconditional love? unconditional indulgence?
Can acceptance alone answer the child's need for knowledge of God's life?
Can a child learn to love without knowing how God's law of love operates in human relationships?
Can it be safely ignored?
Would you be content in a deadly dilemma if someone accepted your fate without any effort to prevent your
destruction? Would you believe that love for you motivated that acceptance?

112

April 11
Unconditional Indulgence
"For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not
submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God." Romans 10:3.
Once MOM dismissed herself from the teaching role that is incumbent upon every person who has
knowledge, she became zealous in performing her chosen family responsibilities. She expanded her MOM role into a
huge task, so it was plain to see that SHE had no time for adding teaching to her work load. Still she would train up
this child in the way she wanted him to go. She would indulge him, so he would indulge her. Just as Santa Claus fills
his bag with good gifts for the little kiddies, she filled her days with good deeds for her son. She washed and mended
his clothes, cleaned his room, cooked his meals, baked his favorite cookies, rented his favorite videos, bought him the
latest TV-related toys, papered his room with stars, drove him all over town, and never passed a sweet shop without
making a snack stop.
Not having studied the consequence of exercising zeal without knowledge of God, she felt ready for his
affection which was sure to follow. But it didn't follow. Just as Santa Claus' bag can get too big for admission into the
chimney, all her sweetness combined merely loosened the soot of the entryway into his affections. The time she
imagined would be spent in receiving affection became eaten up by the chore of earning enough acceptance from
him to have some acceptance to give him. What began as gladly given favors for affection became required deeds to
prove that she accepted his demands. His MOM-given motto--If you don't get approval, get angry--not only worked
to get his Dad off his back and under his thumb, but it also worked to drain his MOM's resources into his boxed-in
coffers.
Being ignorant of God's righteousness (love) she scurried about establishing her own righteousness (love)
and did not submit to receive what God was eager to give her. See Romans 10:2-4. Her duties changed from
accepting him to accepting responsibility for doing his work and blame for his lack of responsibility. She continued
the cooking, cleaning, washing, and driving him around town, even though it had ceased to be fun. To her list she
added making excuses for him and bailing him out of trouble at school. As time passed, she did more but got less
affection.
As he did less, he valued life less, and felt more depressed more often. None were helping him develop his
individuality and his identity, the ingredients of wholesome integrity. Since DAD had replaced God as an empty
source of love, he gained no individuality, no power to think and do loving things. Since MOM had tossed out God's
law of love, he had no idea about how love works to build loving partnerships. Indulged rather than instructed, he did
not gain skills needed for success in our roles that define our identity. How will he fare in his experiences at school?
Will his family dynamics hinder his success in learning?
Lord, may indulgence not blind me to our need for integrity. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Consider what motivates your giving to your children. Does it meet their needs to learn to love, or is it aimed at
earning their affection? If not taught to be giving and service-oriented, are they likely to love their parents?
Have they learned to see an errand or a duty as a gift that builds their skills for loving?
What gifts can you give them that would equip them to learn to give?
Ask yourself, "What purpose will this gift serve in developing my child's loving character traits?"
Have you ever given much to a child only to see him become more self-centered and demanding?
A child learns "getting", not giving, from receiving. He learns loving by doing it.
When you find yourself seeking affection from a child rather than simply giving it, do you see it as a signal of your
need to ask God to fill you with love so you can teach unselfish love?
Righteousness we find in relating with God in Christ produces love-inspired, righteous behavior.
1 X 1 = 1. Likewise, Individuality X Identity = Integrity. Both Individuality (1) and Identity (1) are wholly important in
building Integrity (1). God's love gives Individuality, power to discern good from evil and do good. God's law is basic
to our Identity, as it defines loving behavior in our roles and specifies how God can sustain us in loving; e.g. I promise
you shall not kill.
113

April 12
Depression Seeks Control
"...How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof; And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor
inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!" Proverbs 5:12, 13.
People may reject their teaching roles for other priorities, but teaching doesn't wait to be scheduled. Like air,
polluted or pure, pours into the lungs, knowledge pours into the mind. Their students learn what they live. The child
DAD and MOM send to school is in the dark about need-meeting love. He has been taught to seek approval as a
means of getting love and to use acceptance of himself as his reason for giving it. He has no indigo eagerness for new
knowledge to burst on his horizon. He enters school with his conditioned desire for two things: approval for his good
deeds and acceptance of his bad deeds. He sits in class with these perceptions: If teachers approve my work, they
accept me. If they don't, they'll reject me and refuse to love me. I only feel accepted by those who approve of all I do
and are satisfied with it. When I don't get approval, I can get angry. To disguise my rebellion and avoid the teacher's
defenses, I can turn my anger inward and get depressed. I'll BE somebody then, a victim of the teacher's unfairness.
I'll become the students' reason to resist the teacher's unjust methods.
He senses the dynamics: "As I sit looking depressed, I'll be surrounded by many student "MOMs" who are
willing to accept me just as I am, if I just give them affection. They'll try to inflate the balloon of my depressed ego.
As they seek affection from me, they will comfort me by siding with me against the teacher who offended me. I will
become right in their eyes, and they will do as I say even if it defies my teacher's authority. As the teacher sees the
power I have over his students, he will be careful not to offend me for fear of student rebellion against his authority. I
will set the work pace for the class. We will not accept or do homework. We'll do as little work as possible in class.
We'll groan about difficult work and alienate any who dare to cooperate. We'll force the teacher to dumb down his
grading scale and our workload, so he does not have to flunk everyone and look like a poor teacher to our parents
and his boss."
While the work is easy, the DAD-trained student enjoys the approval he gains from doing well. But when
schoolwork becomes difficult, his MOM-trained behaviors go into gear. He seeks for acceptance from fellow students
who are MOM-oriented to accepting people without regard to performance. They build identity with one another by
daring to do something wrong. They accept those who accept what they do without correcting them. They grow to
hate standards which they think imply that they're not good enough. As they become comfortable with their lawless
acceptance of one another, comfort becomes defined in this context of wrongdoing. Each of them is likely to be
perceived by their families as children who could do no wrong until they got mixed up with the "wrong" crowd at
school.
Lord, may I choose correction over crowd comfort. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Recall your school days. What did you notice about the behavioral dynamics of the classroom?
Were you the intelligent student who was alienated?
Were you a student leader or follower?
Were the peer leaders enthusiastic about learning?
How did you respond to people who had depressing attitudes toward schoolwork?
Recall your teachers. Just as people often practice parenting as their parents did, teachers often teach as their
teachers did. If not taught to love freely, they did not know how to teach it.
Were some demand makers who forced students to perform, or be punished?
Were some demand meeters who did as much (or as little) as they could to appease and win favor?
Did any manage to create cordial working relations with students? How did they succeed in doing it?
How can love enter into teacher-student relations without creating teacher's pets of some and enemies of others?
What problems confront your child or his teacher currently?
How can you help to keep good teaching and learning alive at school and at home?

114

April 13
Sacrifices Sans Love
"But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you. ...How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another,
and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?" John 5:42, 44.
One morning I watched a robin, known for its "cheer-up" message, fly itself repeatedly against my basement
window, as though its life depended upon dwelling in my basement. It did so until either its bruises or its marks upon
the window or I wrecked its hope. What it saw reflected in my window could not be found in my dark basement. The
trees and foliage it sought were really behind it. Does the hope we see reflected in our depressing course of action
really lie in the opposite direction?
MOM had reflection problems as the robin did. She saw SON as a mirror of herself and sought to remake
herself in his image by reflecting his demands in her behavior. Beating her head against his depressing condition did
nothing to turn either's hope for love in the direction away from window of self to God. Her vain "Cheer up" did not
direct him to hope in the knowledge of God's life.
What we want for ourselves often dictates what we offer to others. Before MOM turned to leaning on SON
for affection, she had worked hard to become somebody worthy of love in the eyes of DAD. Her best efforts to work
to increase her worth failed to increase DAD's love toward her. Measuring her worth by the amount of love she
gained kept her sense of worth low. Even after she stopped expecting his love to reward her efforts, she kept on
meeting demands, so she could feel RIGHT about how she fulfilled her role as wife. But she made sure that he could
read no love in her favors to him. Her angry, complaining words accompanied all that she did for him. Clearly neither
he nor she had the love of God in them to season the sacrifices they made for each other.
From infancy on SON saw that MOM's favors were sans love. She had none. She did not believe God's words
of love were able to sustain her life. Disbelief in God as our Lover dooms us to learn that hope in any other love
source will soon sour into depression. [Note: Only depression that relates to the dynamics of behavior, not medicallyrelated depression, is addressed in this book.]
Since MOM could not build her own worth high enough to gain love from DAD (who had none to give), she
used praise to build up their SON so high that he'd surely give her affection. However, praise perverted to win love
only feeds the SON's superiority and leads him to withhold affection until his endless demands are met. Like the
robin, MOM knows not that the foliage of affection she seeks cannot be found by endless catering to his demands.
Both need God's love to cure his depression.
Lord, enlighten my birdlike brain that I may learn that You are my hope for becoming filled with love. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Have you ever been fooled by a mirror or a window or a face that reflects what you want?
Does it also indicate to you that you are going in the wrong direction to get it?
Do you ever talk "cheer up" while you walk a direction that leads yourself and others down to the pit of depression?
When you watch people treat others in unloving ways, do you expect them to treat you differently?
Or do you tend to be wary of them?
Do you ever use praise to try to press love or favors from people who do not freely give to you?
Do you show appreciation to those who do freely give to you or do you take them for granted?
In which direction are you going to find love you need: are you pounding against the basement window of
depression or surrounding your life with the rich foliage of God's love?

115

April 14
Lies Can't Buy Love
"We have transgressed and have rebelled: thou hast not pardoned. Thou hast covered with anger, and persecuted us:
thou hast slain, thou hast not pitied." Lamentations 3:42, 43.
Who among us have not looked at their own anger and depression and felt that God was the cause of it?
Who have not felt their partnerships being torn asunder and blamed God for allowing them to suffer such
persecution? Who have not wondered if these sorrows came because of their transgression and rebellion and God's
refusal to forgive them? We can identify with Jeremiah's lamentations because we have been plagued with similar
suspicions and doubts.
MOM knows the feeling, but she knows no other course. She is ready to call unfair to a God with whom she
disagrees. She tried to train her son in the way she wanted him to go, and it didn't work. He knows he should love
her, but he isn't doing it. How can God punish her for breaking His law when He broke His promise? She tried
everything. She accepted every demand he made and every misdeed he did, so she'd not lose his affection. But
despite her disregard for God's law, within his conscience he regarded it as the law that defines good and evil. DAD
had often misused it as the reason to disapprove his SON's actions and deny him love. Even now genuine approval
seemed tied to that law. Without obedience to it, any acceptance aside from that could not suffice to make him feel
right inside. Nonverbalized guilt dissolved whatever joy he found in controlling other people's behavior. He grew to
hate his MOM's cowardly pretense.
"I know MOM doesn't want me to smoke and drink even though she pretends to accept it. She has to know
that it's dead wrong. She's just lying so I'll give her affection. If she really loved me, she wouldn't pretend. She'd say
what's good for me. Can you see why I lie about loving her? (I only do it when she asks me if I love her.) But how can
I love a person who lies to me? Besides I don't how to love her. The older I get, the harder and more awkward it gets
for me. What kind of love does a son give a mother? How does one give affection and avoid romantic behavior?
What can I do for her that's loving? She never demands or even asks me to do anything for her. She's probably afraid
I'll refuse and spoil her fantasy that I love her more than DAD does. Still I can't feel free from the obligation to love
her. It weighs on me like an albatross around my neck. I'd rather have her say, Do this or that, than see her moping
around so depressed and claiming headaches when I know she's upset with me. I never feel like I've done whatever
she expects of me. If I do something that MOM will not accept, maybe I can escape this Acceptance Affection Alliance
with her."
In his attempts SON goes from bad to worse. But good old MOM keeps accepting all he does, as he keeps on
ruining his life. MOM sadly wonders what's going wrong. She's doing all she can, but....
Lord, give us Your hope for our hopeless situations. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Do you ever feel angry at God for letting people refuse to give you the love you want from them?
Have you wished that God would force them to pay you the love you earned?
If God does not force people to love Him, is He likely to force them to love us?
Can even God force someone who rejects His love, to love? Can one love without God's love?
We express anger toward people who won't cooperate with our plans to win the love we want. When you feel
wronged by people, do you use your anger to justify disobeying them?
Does anger grant you permission to retaliate against supposed wrongs?
Have you been trapped in a relationship that you felt you could not escape until your partner did something wrong
and gave you an excuse to leave it?
Of what value is our promise to love a partner if we have no source of love?
Without God's love empowering us to do what we say, of what value are the words we speak?
Do any you know feign illness to send you on guilt trips? Do you use illness to escape relating?
Would you rather solve problems to save a relationship or use problems to escape a relationship?
If you lack answers, do you know any authorities who can offer the knowledge you need?
Do some need the knowledge YOU have to solve their problems?
116

April 15
What? Reprove Depression?
"Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge." Proverbs 19:27.
Having seen how MOM cannot improve life in the child's boxed-in world by pushing aside the back door and
indulging his demands, we wait at the front door to enter. Will these depressed persons want light to shine on their
problem? Will they want freedom to love more than reasons to complain? We do not wait long. Both MOM and SON
push it open. They realize that depression, which seemed first to protect their pride and to entice would-be lovers,
has itself become a tyrant with power to wreck their lives. What can valuing God's life do to spare their partnership
and salvage some of what they have invested to build it?
Because we have an answer, we grab this door of opportunity to enter the private world of this teacher MOM
and student SON. Early dawn lights up the inside of the front door and its familiar labels below the OUT FRONT sign:
REPROVE with Reason. Reprove what? Depression. Depression has dampened their hope in life. When it first
surfaced in the SON, MOM hoped that she could exploit it and gain affection. She knew not that depression occurs
when one has failed to earn love, sees no other way to get it, and has none.
At last they learned their cycle of dependency upon each other can only provide for each what the other has
to put into it. They had tried to relate in a siphon-like manner. When he was low on acceptance, she rose to the
occasion to give what she had to exalt him, so he would increase his flow of affection. After she drained her
resources, she sank below his level to collect the affection she earned. The selfish affection she gained benefitted
neither. As time passed, their natural love evaporated from them as does water from two cups being siphoned, and
left behind the pollution of self to muddy their relations. In love's absence pretense took its place until nothing real
moved in either direction.
Each felt cheated, but partners who sustain life by fastening hope on one another, rather than on God's life,
cannot easily escape their trap. Hope, the super glue of life, holds to its target forever, unless something better can be
found as a reason to remove it and fasten it elsewhere. The tiniest positive signs are magnified into mighty motivators
to keep hoping, and the huge losses registered in rude or negligent behaviors reinforce the need for hoping to make
the partnership work. Just think what a blow to one's self-worth it is to admit that a parent has not loved us. Despite
the facts, many would rather insist that their parents loved them, but simply didn't know how to show it. If children
do not know love, we parents in teaching roles deceive ourselves when we claim to have taught love. Such claims
show that despite all the "accepting" we do to gain love, we have not yet accepted our duty to love.
Lord, help us to confront our silent refusals to accept our duty to love in our roles as teachers and students. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Do you see depression as an unwanted detriment to your life, or do you use it to entice others to love you?
How do you deal with depressed people?
Do you try to cheer them until you realize that they use depression as a tool to keep you meeting their demands? Do
you then keep at it for fear that your "No" will make you guilty of deepening their depression?
When people see their tool of depression losing its shock effect, they increase its severity, even to threats of suicide, to
strike alarm and rally their supporters to new action. We need to see these depressed people's behaviors as opendoor opportunities to teach them of their boxed-in condition. They need to value knowledge of God's life in them as
their hope for escape from leaning for love on people. Those who refuse help at the OUT FRONT door will not benefit by
being indulged at the back door of their boxed-in condition.
How long will they use the depression tool to press their demands and reject real help?
As long as the tool works? How can you indicate that it has stopped working on you?

117

April 16
Naked Truth vs Blanket Lies
"These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven.. A proud look, a lying tongue.." Proverbs 6:16,17.
Many years ago a mother gave birth to a precious child. As she carried him about, she kept him wrapped or
covered with a blanket. After a time people noticed that most who offered to hold him were refused. Eventually the
mystery was unveiled. The child was born with deformed feet. The mother, fearing rejection of him --and herself-because of his deformity, had herself engineered a policy of rejection in his behalf. She had translated her inability to
accept the problem into personal shame and made the child the reason for and the object of her shame. Fortunately
as the child grew, the truth of God's love for each of us penetrated his life, erased the shame, and straightened
crooked attitudes, which had been a worse handicap than the crooked feet. He learned to take his handicap in stride
and developed a productive life.
The naked truth, like the mother's infant, is difficult to display, especially if it reveals something about a
deformity in our family. Its possessor is prone to carry it around wrapped in swaddling clothes to hide it from curious
eyes. Such clothes may be seen at once as protective and yet restrictive of an infant's well-being. But when they are
wrapped around the infant truth, one must wonder why. Do we need to restrict the activity of truth to protect it from
itself? Does even its infancy threaten our well-being? Or is it too weak to defend itself? Do we need to hide its
beauty to keep it from revealing ills that need healing? Do we fear someone will kidnap or steal the truth away from
us? Is it so fragile that it can be destroyed by stray lies? Or are we just plain ashamed to identify ourselves with
something that may be rejected by the curious whom we think cannot handle the information--about us--without
rejecting us?
Strange it is that we can be comfortable about being sinners because "all have sinned". Thus no inherent
reason for rejecting us resides in admitting it. Besides people are supposed to love sinners (the diseased) and merely
hate the sin (the disease). But they hate liars or thieves or killers. Therefore we must deny that we lie or steal or kill,
even if these diseases are having a deadly effect upon us, lest we be rejected and hated. The lack of knowledge of a
cure heightens their dread. We know Jesus can remove our sins, but our lies? our theft? our killing behaviors? We are
not so sure that within the knowledge of God's life we'll find a cure for them.
As we face the OUT FRONT message on the door, our defenses are silenced. What is the Reason or cause for
depression? It is "the Lying Tongue", the second of seven universal abominations to God. This sevenfold diagnosis
describes every sinner, so we need not hide it from one another. We must treat each section of it as a life and death
matter. Swaddled by its family, it stays protected and hidden from view, as it grows.....worse.
Lord, help us to confront the facts about life with hope. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Were you ever pressed to hide some family peculiarity that was embarrassing to you?
What was it? What fear moved you to hide it?
Have you noticed how people only try to hide the sins or defects that are not socially acceptable?
Have you noticed the increasing emphasis on making various sins socially acceptable? Name some examples.
Does social acceptance make it easier for people who commit those sins to seek help, or does it make it less necessary
to cease these behaviors, or both?
Do you relate with someone who has a "lying tongue"?
How does it affect your relations?
Why do people lie? If you lie, why?
When a significant person in your life lies to you, how does that affect you?
Have you ever had to swaddle a truth?
Who were you protecting? the truth or the person who needed to hear it?
When we withhold true reproofs people need to learn, do we protect or injure them?
If it injures others to withhold reproofs, why do we do it?
Is it to "save our own necks"? What happens when we seek to save our lives? Matthew 16:25.
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April 17
The Lying Tongue
"A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin." Proverbs 26:28.
As is common to babies, I was born short. But as I grew older my height did not keep pace with my peers',
and I found most of society literally looking down on me. Any difference from the "accepted norm", whatever it is,
calls on us to make adjustments. The options for swaddling short stature are few. I found myself opting for the social
mind-set that despises shortness--in others. So I avoided associating with short people and sought out people of
normal height. Somehow I only felt short when I was standing by "short". In swaddling myself with taller people, I
sought to deny expression to the truth, and supposed that my self-concealed shortness of stature was less obvious
among them. I hear you say, "How foolish! It is the contrast with tall that defines short." With years came wisdom
that God loves all people, and I grew tall enough to love short people, including myself. What's the point?
The Acceptance Affection Alliance exposes behavior that falls short of loving others. This plan, purported to
be loving and supportive, unveils a loveless cycle of ruin that afflicts both partners. Swaddled in the clothes of
acceptance and affection, this pattern of indulgence and idleness conceals an evil process. This AAA prolongs
dependency into adulthood by crippling the growth of identity and individuality under the guise of loving acceptance
and affection. None want this infant alliance to grow into a lying tyrant of bondage, but we dare not kill something as
favored as its swaddling clothes purport it to be. And so we let it grow...worse.
As the problem grows, the swaddling clothes grow too small to conceal it. The dearth of affection cools the
joy of accepting other's defects as reasons to meet their demands. We tire of taking the blame and the responsibility
to cover for them. When no love is present, any pretense that its absence can produce loving behavior is futile. One
must have love to give it. No matter how loving and devoted services to one another may appear to be, if they are
directed at getting love, no love passes.
Selfish beings cannot stir up batches of unselfish love with a lying tongue. For all its flapping of affection and
wagging of acceptance in its efforts to lap up love, it cannot hide its aim to get love. Still it takes offense at any
attempt to unmask its deception. While it demands favors, it gives no gratitude. It has no capacity to feel sorry that it
relates to others without truly loving them. It cares not that others who wait for a lick of love wait in vain. We need
to face, not avoid, the reproof that our lying tongue behavior falls short of loving others, just as I learned to face my
short height. Now I do not hedge when people ask me, "How tall are you?!". I stand straight with my shoulders back,
head up, and chin in, smile on, and I say, "Thanks!"
Lord, teach us to love life so much that we'll be willing to recognize when we are not loving the lives around us. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

What personal trait has confronted you with the need to adjust your attitude toward what others may think of it?
What coping option did you choose?
Did it attempt to hide or to handle the problem you faced?
Do you examine why you do what you do for others?
Do you say "I love you" without meaning it?
When you show affection to people, do you expect them to meet your demands?
Do you want to be accepted so badly by people, who do favors only for those who seem to love them, that you
pretend to love them?
Do you measure your obligation to others by the amount of affection they give you?
Or do you assess their need for love and respond to it?
Do you feel sorry or guilty for the unloving ways you relate to others?
Do you tend to notice when people fail to be loving to you? when you fail to be loving to them?
Which makes you feel badly? In what way--guilty or sorry?

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April 18
Acceptance Invites Responsibility
"..him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out." John 6:37.
Great museums of the world house civilization's treasures. Priceless manuscripts, paintings, sculptures,
jewels, and countless prized possessions stay on display at great cost to many people. The curators exercise extreme
care to see that each piece they accept is genuine. In view of this, should it surprise us that the Curator of God's
kingdom wants His living jewels to be genuine so they can shine His love to all who need it? Our view of acceptance
has much to do with becoming prepared to serve as jewels in His kingdom. What passes for loving acceptance in the
Acceptance Affection Alliance will not help us learn to love.
Acceptance, a neutral word, acts as a gateway to experiences that may bring blessings or curses, as people
pursue their reasons for acceptance. One may be accepted by evil companions to unite in sin. Proverbs 1:10-19 gives
warning of it: "My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood,
..Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from
their path.."
In contrast to evil's invitation is the loving acceptance that Jesus offers in John 6:37: "..him that cometh to Me
I will in no wise cast out." He calls all and excludes none from becoming disciples who know how to freely love one
another. Despite our defective condition, he sees us as genuine jewels capable of displaying His love at work in us. As
our Creator, He knows what is possible if we submit to His refining process. No soul need be cast away, no task is too
difficult if we accept His acceptance of us and cooperate with His plan to teach us to love. In doing so, as teacher and
student we agree, "No matter how intelligent or how ignorant you and I are, God can teach us what I must teach and
you must learn to freely love in every role that is required of us as human beings. We can only know His acceptance
as we accept our duty to learn what He teaches. We have no license to invent our own lawless agenda or to exploit
one another. As we accept Jesus and deny self, we can also accept relating to each other to accomplish His purposes.
If we accept these roles and fail to teach and learn how to live, we lie to God, devalue life, and deceive ourselves. Then
relating becomes meaningless and acceptance means nothing.
Acceptance invites responsibility. Acceptance into a class, a marriage, a workplace, a church, or any
organization that has a purpose for existence, is an act of hope that the one accepted will unite in working to fulfill
the purposes of that body. God seeks to accept people who will accept the tasks of repairing breaches between Him
and His human family and restoring the paths that lead to Jesus. Paths are made by clearing the way and walking in
them.
Lord, I accept you as My Saviour. Accept me into relation with You, so You can save me from sins that are killing me.
Amen.
How do today's concepts relate to you?

Consider the personal treasures you display in your home or workplace.

Do they reflect or outshine the Pearl of great price in the way you display them?
Consider the difference between accepting a spouse for the purpose of fulfilling your purposes and accepting a
spouse for the purpose of uniting together to fulfill God's purposes for a marriage. What must you do to remove any
differences between the two in your marriage?
As you accept people, do you inform them as to what roles and purposes you are hoping they will fulfill?
Do you give them opportunity to reject your acceptance of them if they do not choose to work toward a common
purpose with you? Or do you agree to pretend that meaningful acceptance exists between you?
Can you see the bondage inherent in "acceptance" without reference to joint responsibility in roles?
How might acceptance sound in this partnership? "As a teacher who must teach, I need a student whos willing to
learn. In light of our Master Teacher's offer to accept us as His disciples, let us accept each other as partners in
teaching and learning. Let's teach and learn how knowledge of God's life can bring us life. No matter what you've
done or who you are, if you come to learn, Ill accept you as my student and teach you." Unconditional? Yes! And
specific. If you don't accept the student's role of learning, you reject the acceptance I offer.

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April 19
Agree and ACT
"How long, ...will... fools hate knowledge? Turn you at My reproof: behold, I will pour out My Spirit unto you, I will
make known My words unto you." Proverbs 1:22, 23.
The front door is still ajar to REPROVE Depression and state the Lying Tongue as the Reason for depression.
MOM and SON have seen how the lying tongue kills the love between them. They need the promise, Thou shalt not
kill, to empower them to value what God's life can do in their relations. Shall they turn away from their destructive
behaviors or turn away from each other? Change is not easy. "Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his
spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed (margin: taught) to do evil." Jeremiah 13:23. We must be
taught to do good.
Because people fear rejection, they have learned to offer acceptance but ignore the answer they get.
Unaware that "NO" may simply signal need for acceptance of a new plan, not personal rejection, they avoid listening
to the answer. They assume they hear a yes and go about behaving as though they have united to fulfill a purpose
which is neither fully agreed upon nor fully known. In the process that accomplishes little, they feel cheated and
become depressed over their failure. Unable to admit error and be labeled "WRONG", they simply assume they're not
cut out for the role they accepted. Parents decide they can't guide; teachers decide they can't teach; students decide
they can't learn; lovers decide they can't love. They fail to realize that the most skilled people cannot create a working
partnership if either partner refuses to act his part.
Now MOM and SON, aware of their need, are without excuse. They may opt to perpetrate their depressing
state by ignoring their needs and chafing under their dilemma. Millions do. Or they may choose to separate by
turning away from each other and giving up. If they swaddle their decision to quit in self-pity they can gain innocent
victim status and pique the worldly appetite that feeds on it. Millions do. Or they may opt to face their ignorance and
learn to love under the teaching of the word of the Spirit of God.
But God accepts neither farce nor force in forming partnerships. "He that is not with Me is against Me; and
He that gathereth not with Me scattereth abroad." Matt.12:30. In Jeremiah 13:24, 25 He states, "Therefore will I
scatter them...This is thy lot...because thou hast forgotten Me, and trusted in falsehood." With God we may have what
we choose. He offers acceptance into a relationship of becoming wholly one with Him, one that includes relating in all
essential roles. His acceptance may be accepted or rejected, but not converted into pretended holiness as a guise for
deceiving one another. He accepts no covenant plans which insist that He sit idly by while we lie and die. He pleads
for the chance to change us. "O Jerusalem! wilt thou not be made clean? when shall it once be?" Jeremiah 13:27.
"..now is the accepted time.." 2 Corinthians 6:2.
MOM and SON Agree that they need the help. Together they ACT to turn away from failure and follow Jesus
in the opposite direction.
"Let the words of my mouth...be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord..." Psalm 19:14. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Are you caught in a partnership that lacks a clearly defined purpose and a plan for fulfilling it?
Does your role in it confuse and frustrate you? Do you want to know how God's law enriches life?
Do you avoid discussing it for fear of facing blame for your failures? Will blame solve the issues?
Do you think that your level of performance in a role dictates your right to fulfill or abandon it?
Do you ever devalue yourself in your God-given roles by thinking you're not cut out for them?
Of which role (parent, child, teacher, student) do you feel that way?
Could your desire to quit and escape the stress of that role be your reason for devaluing yourself?
Can you hear a "No" to a plan you have without feeling personally rejected?
Are you willing to adapt an agreement with a partner to fit his changing needs?
In teaching children, how much latitude can you give them to accept or reject the plan you have for them?
Which parts of it are flexible? Are some non-negotiable? Do you know which is which?
Do you want to restructure a partnership? Can God's law help or merely judge good and evil?
Do you want to merely admire God's law while you mire your relations into the ruts of ruin?
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April 20
Forget or Remember?
"And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with Me in paradise." Luke 23:43.
The worst with Jesus is better than the best without Him. As Mom and Son turn toward Him, light from the
open front door streams through their boxed-in area to set aglow the cross engraved upon the inside of the back
door. The CORRECT with Obedience plan takes them first to the hill of Golgotha. Implanted in this place of the skull
is Jesus' cross. They step back in horror, as though they have intruded upon a scene for which they could somehow be
blamed. But the drawing of divine love turns fear to faith in view of this solemn scene. If He can accept the death
that His partnership with them requires of Him, He can empower them to accept their roles.
On this frenzy-filled
day which historians would call Good Friday how can they catch the Master Teacher's attention? What is He doing?
He who has freely offered acceptance for salvation to humanity despite its total depravity is listening, listening for
each person's reply. Answers of rejection swaddled in ridicule, demonic hatred, cruel abuse, scornful jeers, and selfish
pride resound around Him. Still He holds out hope, as He listens to everyone's answer, not willing that any should die,
as He must, but that all should come to repentance. Despite the forces of evil, He speaks no mean words to devalue
this sacrifice of God. Silently He waits, as His ears strain to strain the true from the terrible.
On either side of Him two malefactors are dying for lack of love. One had followed the other into sin. Too
late they learned that thievery, taking by force what is not freely given, leads to death. They stand as symbols of every
human partnership. Without Jesus we, as thieves, try to force love from one another and spend our lives dying for the
lack of it. But God in love plants Jesus between us on Calvary's cross, from which flows His fountain of life-sustaining
love.
Even as Jesus hangs, one thief rails against Him, ordering to be saved in disbelief. Jesus sees no need to voice
a "no" for that impossibility. The other, a lurker turned lover, finds faith to say, "Lord, remember me when Thou
comest into Thy kingdom." Luke 23:42. With joy that exceeds pain he and Jesus meet acceptance with acceptance. A
partnership bound for paradise springs to life. "Verily, I say unto thee, To day thou shalt be with Me in paradise." His
purpose for the partnership is paradise. He gives His life in death, so we may gain His kingdom life in us. His plan
works as He lives in us and in our relations. He daily empowers us to practice paradise by loving one another on our
way to paradise.
As Mom and Son watch true acceptance happen, they see God's life change one thief's destiny from death to
paradise. Forgetting self, they call, "Lord, remember us. We seek Your kingdom of love. Send us from this sacred
place of the skull with love in our skulls for one another. We accept Your death, and we accept Your life. Dwell within
us."
Lord, remember me, too. Accept me into Your kingdom and set up Your kingdom of righteousness in all my
relationships. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Have you had something taken from you by force that you did not freely give?
Did you respond with loving acceptance to that thief?
He who thieves another's property steals, but he who takes by force (thieves) what is vital to life itself, kills. If we aid
and abet someone's plan to do that to us, we are assisting in our own suicide, whether it occurs abruptly or "naturally"
over time.
Which of your partnerships needs a Fountain of freely flowing, need-meeting love in its midst?
What changes need to happen to place Jesus in the midst of these partnerships?
Do you really want God to accomplish these changes that need to happen in your relations?
Do you expect God to force these changes upon you and your partners?
Do you want God's love intensely enough to invite His law-fulfilling presence into your midst?
If He took your selfish behaviors from you by force, would you be likely to accept or accuse Him?
In view of His yearning to have us accept the acceptance He offers, is He likely to force or wait for us to accept or
reject His love?

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April 21
Correct Depression's Cause
"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4.
Cool breezes puffing cotton clouds across blue skies set the scene for our trek to hear how Jesus can correct
the mount of depression that overshadows the new benefits we find in God's life. The acceptance modeled between
the thief and Jesus, is difficult for Mom and Son to practice. Trained as blame-throwers, they find it hard to accept
one another without accepting the guilt each smears on the other, along with the other's notions of right and wrong.
Their silent messages of disapproval set one another to "feeling guilty". This umbrella term, "feeling guilty", covers
three behaviors: 1) blaming self--supposing that others' disapproval means we've done something wrong, 2) fearing
that our misdeed will be used by others to justify rejecting us, and 3) fearing that the one rejecting us will also
withhold from us the love we seek. They feel if blame can be assigned for which apologies can be given and
forgiveness granted, they can return to rightness, and once again deserve and expect love. Such is the world's logic
regarding this depressing process designed to get, not to give love. If the reason for guilt is not found and forgiven,
the 3-part "feeling guilty" composite remains, and depression deadens zest for living.
This process promotes evil. It buys into the lie that good and acceptable reasons exist for not loving our
neighbors. That lie implies that unloving deeds are not sin, if the doer can prove the victim deserved unloving
treatment. If any unloving deeds that transgress the law of love no longer count as sin, the law ceases to be the
definer of sin. God's commandments no longer set the standard for moral behavior. His promises to cause us to obey
Him (Thou shalt not kill) are no longer needed. After all, murder may be all right if one can find a "good" reason for it.
Absolutes erode, sin becomes relative, and making people "feel guilty" becomes the acceptable way to force "love"
from people who don't freely give it. "Feeling guilty" kills the joy of acceptance.
What in Jesus' sermon on the mount can CORRECT the "lying tongue" cause of our depression? "Blessed are
they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." God's plan to CORRECT goes to work for teachers and students, as we
first love Him with all our heart by trusting Beatitude promise 2 as God's tool to cure depression's cause.
Immediately we realize that He knows the mourning we do over the guilt we have and the love we lack. He
looks not upon flawless outward appearance, but on our hearts draped in depression. He meets us as we mourn in the
world's way to teach us the meaning for mourning that we've missed--the mourning of repentance ("feeling sorry"
not "feeling guilty"). "Feeling sorry" focuses us on others' unmet needs and on our own need to relate in ways that
meet them. As correcting relationships takes precedence over "correcting" [translate "justifying"] our past record,
forgiving love washes away our sins. The Spirit follows the indigo mourning of repentance with hope in the dawning
light of knowledge of God's life. But darkness of death's night follows the "feel guilty" mourning of depression.
Which mourning shall we choose?
Lord, teach us to exchange our guilt-ridden mourning of depression for Your God-given mourning of repentance.
Amen.
How do today's concepts relate to you?

Recalling times you have apologized, were you motivated to do so by guilty or sorry feelings?
Were you trying to BE correct or to actually correct the problem injuring your relationships?
Did you apologize to make it easier to gain love, or to minister to the people who needed love?
Many issues confront us under the umbrella concept of "feel guilty". They have more to do with fear of rejection and
threatened loss of love than with "wrongs" we may or may NOT have done.
Could it be that our chief error in all this is depending upon people for life-sustaining love which they do not have and
cannot give regardless of how perfectly we treat them?
Would you "feel guilty" or "feel sorry" if.... a) Someone trips over your foot and falls? b) The mechanic working on
your car made it worse? c) Your child shoplifted some candy? d) You stole a small item? e) You cleverly humiliated a
fellow worker and stopped him from intruding on your territory? Does "sorry" or "guilty" move you to correct things?
Which moves you to try to justify your act and leave it as is? Which unites? Which alienates?

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April 22
God's Indispensable Gift
"Thy kingdom come." Matthew 6:10.
Warnings to Billy and Linda to play nice that day did little good as one conflict after another had to be
refereed. Mother had barely turned her back when Linda began to cry. This time she was hurt. "Now see what
you've done, Billy! I told you she'd get hurt if you didn't stop that! Now you tell Linda you're sorry."
"But I'm NOT sorry! I'm angry that she smashed the house I was building. She won't stay out of my way."
"Then you just sit here on this chair until you are sorry."
Billy sat on the chair. He sat and sat until...he was sorry? No, he sat until he was tired. Then he scowled "I'm
sorry." and was released to play because he had fulfilled the letter of the law. He won his mobility but he lost his
innocence and freedom to love. He knew he had lied, but he knew not what to do with the uneasy feelings of guilt
that he had gleaned from his first lesson on the lying tongue.
Repentance is a gift from God. Sin signals our need to go to God to gain it. None can truly feel sorry unless
God gives them repentance. Without it they can only feel guilty. To force a person to say, I'm sorry, is to teach him to
lie. Worse yet, it denies his need to learn how to deal with guilt by seeking the blessings of true repentance for "they
that mourn".
How much better it would be for Billy had his mother said, "Billy, I understand why you feel angry. It's
natural to feel that way when your things are damaged. But people are more precious than things. Your love for
Linda can bring you more joy than your toys. Anger is a signal that you need some love from God for your sister so
you can change the way you treat her. Let us pray and invite God to fill both of you with His forgiving love for each
other. He'll help you both to feel sorry for hurting each other and teach you loving ways to play. Then you may tell
God and each other that you're sorry you hurt the one He gave you to love. Linda, let's also ask God to heal the
bruises you have. He wants our family to be happy. [Pray.] Now let me tell you a Bible story to remind you how
much God loves to help His children learn to love."
What shall we do to gain this mourning of repentance we lack? Knowing our hope is in knowledge of God's
life in us, Jesus invites us to pray, "Thy kingdom come." His kingdom is..righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy
Spirit, whose job is to shed love abroad in our hearts. See Romans 14:17; 5:5. He comes into the midst of Mom and
Son, teacher and student, or any partners to unite them in unselfish love. He comes offering acceptance of us into
kingdom roles and inviting our acceptance of the repentance He has for us and the responsibility to grow in Him. But
He won't force Himself or His free gift of repentance upon any. He comes to convict, give repentance, forgive,
cleanse, reconcile, comfort.
Lord, give me repentance AND forgiveness, as You see my need for them. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Can you recall ever being forced to apologize when you were not sorry?
Did it remove the difficulty between the two of you?
Do you pressure people who will not apologize until they are forced to do so?
Of what value are such apologies in healing rifts between partners?
Are they worth the intensity of frustration required to force an apology?
Does that method of dealing with discord address the issue creating the problem?
Do you insist upon getting immediate apologies from people?
Knowing they cannot be truly sorry without gaining God's gift of repentance, are such apologies worth your effort?
Would giving them forgiving acceptance and understanding teach more than force?
How much do forced apologies play into our having to BE right, so we can feel that we HAVE the right to expect
others to love us?
Do you really want the kingdom of God within you filling you with forgiving love for those who show, by their
inability to love you, that they need it?

125

April 23
Promise of Comfort
"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4 "Thou shalt not kill." Exodus 20:13.
The conditions present in the educational arena are anything but comforting. The fact that much learning
results from errors and the trials they cause, makes comfort a rare commodity. Often called to face our errors, the task
of appearing acceptable with wrong written all over us is discomforting. But where could the need for comfort be
greater than in this trying environment? God does His comforting where we need it most...in our wars with guilt.
With all our heart we have trusted that they that mourn shall be comforted. With all our soul we have prayed
in hope that God's kingdom would come within us and minister His repentance and forgiveness to provide that
comfort. But it is not enough to trust it can happen and to ask for it. Having asked, will we now let God do what
we've asked? Are we willing to face uncomfortable positions that reveal need for repenting and changing our
behavior? Is the promise of comfort worth being made uncomfortable to get it? Would we rather cling to the
comfort of conformity to the world than renew our minds that we "may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and
perfect, will of God"? Romans 12:2 If we want His comfort, with all our mind we must submit our will to the mind of
Christ and give Him permission to work in us.
Accustomed to accepting only the acceptable, we take a second look. Do we want to choose His BEING
promise for our own? Do we want to BE they that mourn, they that feel sorry, not guilty? Do we want to choose His
DOING promise, Thou shalt not kill? Do we want to stop killing partnerships because we cannot accept people who
need forgiveness for themselves or for offending us? Do we want to end our need to play the "feel guilty" game to be
"right" and to stay on the "good" side of people? Yes, we want to be comforted and be equipped to comfort others.
But how?
Jesus has volunteered to be killed in our behalf, to take the deadly blows of our sins upon His body, to pay
the penalty for our guilt, and to pour forth forgiveness and freedom from guilt for us. No longer need we seek people
upon which to push our guilt in the hope that wounding them will heal us. We can stop our deadly behaviors. As we
accept Jesus' atonement on the cross for us, we can dare to choose Jesus' promises that He can change our behavior.
Now with His atonement in our minds, we know what to do with guilt we are prone to receive or to project upon
others. He has paid the penalty to remove the guilt that prevents people from freely loving one another. On its way
to or from us He waits to remove it. In its place He offers us repentance so we may feel sorry people are dying, sorry
for whatever keeps God's love away from them, sorry we have been trying to get love from them rather than loving
them, sorry we waited so long to accept Him and stop feeling guilty.
Lord, I choose You to atone for my sin and free me of guilt. Thank You for giving me repentance. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Learning involves changing behavior. We are slow to make changes without hope that they will produce the results
we want. Think of a lesson you learned from a mistake you made. Was it a comfortable learning experience? Now
are you comfortable with the way your new knowledge works when you apply it?
Often "You'll be sorry" is used as a threat to discourage a given behavior. It implies that some punishment will follow.
How does that differ from the "feel sorry" repentance God gives us?
What do you expect to follow it? Is the consequence worth the effort?
Are guilty feelings disrupting the peace between you and a partner?
Can you imagine how their removal could change your relations? Would it be worth it?
Think of your child. Should he feel guilty when he needs to learn something from you?
Should you feel guilty when God gives you new knowledge to use to rescue your relationships?
When you see what joys it brings, you'll feel sorry, not guilty, that you didn't learn it sooner!

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April 24
The Comforter's Task
"Blessed be...the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them
which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4.
Comfort means something different to a soldier than it does to a sleeper. The picture of soft pillows and easy
living in the lap of luxury does not describe the comfort a soldier seeks. He has his goal set for victory that serves
justice and brings peace. Comfort is any assistance or aid to help him achieve his goal. The student is a soldier in
training for the battlefield of life. In his battle to overcome attitudes and behaviors that militate against his success,
any assistance or aid his teachers can provide is comfort. The derivation of comfort includes "to strengthen much"
and "strong". As useful knowledge increases, strength for success increases. To be comforted is to be strengthened to
perform well.
As Mom and Son let Jesus correct their teaching-learning partnership they face the need to love God with all
their strength. Their strength is weakness. "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in
My name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you."
John 14:26. Total teaching and total memory of it! What better aid or comfort could a teacher and student request
than that? But He is not finished. His purpose for His plan follows: "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto
you:...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27. With His reconciling presence uniting us, no
guilt need trouble us, and no threats of rejection or loss of love need cause us any fear. The repentance He gives
removes our "feel guilty" worries.
What a life in Jesus! Having given their permission to let Jesus do His will within them, they rejoice as His
Holy Spirit writes His law "Thou shalt not kill." in their minds and hearts. In the battle for eternal life this promise for
the partnership is priceless. The student shall not kill the teacher's need to teach, and the teacher shall not kill the
student's need to learn. Their rights to teach and learn are valued.
Why is this promise of life especially comforting to teachers and learners? The primary tool of teaching is
words. What potential for danger do words carry? "Death and life are in the power of the tongue:.." Proverbs 18:21
We have seen how the lying tongue leads to death by supporting "feel guilty" behaviors that disguise our need for
God's forgiving love and keep us from truly repenting. But Jesus said, "..The words that I speak unto you, they are
spirit, and they are life." John 6:63.
The world's idea of comfort exalts idleness and closes doors of opportunity to love. God's comfort leads to
action, as Jesus, the Door, opens to us unlimited opportunities to love and learn.
Lord, we need the Comforter to teach us all things that lead to peace in Jesus and freedom from fear and frustration.
Amen. See John 14:26, 27.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

What does comfort mean to you?

Do you want it to aid you in reaching your goals or lull you into complacency and indifference to the needs that
surround you?
Is the happiness of a partnership being dampened by a behavior that needs to be corrected?
Does it persist because you fear to disturb someone's comfort zone by teaching or learning a better way to relate?
Are you trapped in "accept me" and "feel guilty" behaviors that kill your freedom to grow in grace?
Do you think the Comforter can tackle the problem and bring to you the needed help to teach and learn a better way?
Do you want to leave the boxed-in state of depression that the lying tongue causes?
God's life offers a way out of its death.

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April 25
From Cushioning to Comforting
"All Scripture is...profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, that the man of God
may be adequate, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16, 17 NASB.
As Mom and Son complete the Correct with Obedience process with Commandment VI written and working
in their hearts and minds, Jesus, the Door to love relationships, opens to them the fourth stage of becoming equipped
for every good work. Posted upon the outside of the back door is the task: TRAIN with Work. Pictured beneath its
BACK IN label are the rainbow rings of covenant love in God's family circle. The violet and indigo rings glow with color.
The violet speaks of parents who guide children to decide wisely as the Holy Spirit uses the "Honor.." commandment
to develop longsuffering in them. The indigo ring displays the bond between the teacher and student which the Holy
Spirit provides, as they treasure His "Thou shalt not kill" commandment. With Jesus backing their endeavors, they go
forth from boxed-in behavior to cooperate with the Work of God's grace to TRAIN them in righteousness.
Now God's life has center stage between them. They see each other according to the value that Calvary
places upon them. The roles they share take on new significance. Mom sees how much her son needs to learn in
order to become skilled and responsible. Her commitment to obey God outweighs her fear that her son will reject her
efforts to teach him. Her son is surprised to see her genuine interest in his well-being. She turns from cushioning to
giving comfort that inspires hope of success not idleness in him. Seeing his need to become self-reliant and useful, he
invites her advice, but he insists on doing his share. They return Dad to his place of honor and strengthen their family
bonds. How different it is from her old games to gain affection. She does not read rejection into his silence anymore,
nor feign pain to arouse guilt feelings in him. Aware of the freely given love of God modeled for them by Jesus, she
attaches no strings to her love. Nor does she view her son's love as something she must buy by meeting his demands.
Are they perfect? No. At times they catch themselves falling back upon their first nature of selfishness.
Much training in righteousness must happen before this second divine nature becomes second nature to them. But
their needs no longer place barriers between them. Instead they are the bridges over which they pass to love one
another. The switch from seeking love to having God's love to freely give has removed frustrations from their
relations. Now they love while they learn. They see their present ignorance as the pile of potential knowledge that
awaits their study. The word of God takes on new delight for the family. "The father of the righteous shall greatly
rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that
bare thee shall rejoice." Proverbs 23:24, 25. Can all this happen? Yes. Does it take God's love time to do all this in
and for us? Yes.
Lord, thank You for the price You paid to fulfill Your law of love in us. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Training children to love freely is an important part of the teaching process.

Have you told someone to behave in a given way, and become discouraged when he fails to do so?
Hope for success in your teaching depends upon including all four phases of the job: teaching, reproof, correction,
and training in righteousness.
Think of a need you have for teaching someone a given skill.
How have you addressed each phase of the task?
Have you taught the ideal by showing them its value?
Have you reproved the behavior that is preventing them from doing the task?
Have you been able to agree on the problem you hope to correct?
Have you given God's word a role in correcting the negative behavior?
Have you TRAINED in the role until it becomes second nature to you?
If not, what is taking precedence in your life to the need for your child to become equipped for every good work?

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April 26
Gentleness Feels Great
"..the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness...." Galatians 5:22.
Paradise is a place abounding in the fruit of the Spirit. As the Comforter works in Jesus' behalf to prepare us
for entrance into it, He does so by bringing paradise into us one fruit at a time. His blueprint for a loving character is
not based on DAD's approval or on MOM's acceptance. It is based upon God's law of love that Jesus fulfilled on
Calvary and fulfills in us. So great is its value for us that Jesus died to plant its precepts in us, that we might be free to
love.
What makes this law so valuable to God and to us? It is the tool by which His Holy Spirit forms the precious
character of Jesus in us. Each commandment has an excellent purpose. As we trust the promise of God in
Commandment VI, Thou shalt not kill., we learn to value what God's life does for our life. The Holy Spirit uses this
valued tool to develop the fruit of gentleness in us.
Observe a child with her new kitten, a mother with her baby, a man with his sweetheart to see how all
translate their value of the precious lives they hold into gentle behavior toward them. A gentleman is one who treats
others with courtesy and gentleness. Small kindnesses gentlemen do have large effects on others' sense of well-being.
Uncommon courtesies to assist people with opening doors, putting on coats, recovering dropped items, etc., enable
those people to feel that we personally value them.
Gentleness is kind and quiet in expressing its virtue. It is comfortable and self-forgetful in the presence of
others. Unlike worldly praise, it implies no strings and stirs no suspicion of ulterior motive. Imagine a lady's differing
responses to two men: One compliments her coat. The other assists her in putting on her coat. One watches her
struggle with packages and says, You're doing a great job! The other says, Let me help you. One leads her to think
she's good enough to get love. The other actually loves her. Which will motivate her to feel great?
The gentleman has learned that the joy of loving is in the doing of it. As God's love pours through his life, he
needs no added reward. His great feeling in the doing transfers to his recipient who in turn feels great. David,
responding to God's gentleness toward Him, sought to pattern his behavior after Him. In so doing David moved from
feeling great to being great. He said, "...Thy gentleness hath made me great." Psalm 18:35. Greatness describes
people who minister to the needs of others. Jesus said, "whosoever will be great among you, let him be your
minister;" Do you ever feel sorry that you've left someone feeling guilty rather than feeling great? Don't miss a
chance to be great!
Lord, I need Your gentleness that I may be a great help to others. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Who are the gentle people in your life?

What behaviors lead you to describe them as gentle?
Is weakness one of them?
How are they regarded by those who know them?
Are they looked upon as despised and rejected, or are they respected?
Does a gentle person act as though he is great or as though the one he serves is valued?
In teaching gentleness to children, we need to create opportunities for them to minister to others in love. Considering
the high regard we give to the term, gentleman, why are not gentleness and masculinity more closely associated?
How do women's attitudes affects men's courage to be gentle?
Does the media portray gentleness as a desirable male trait?
Is the degree you value God's life reflected in the gentleness you manifest to others?

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April 27
The Teacher's Tool
"..I was thirsty, and ye gave Me drink:" Matthew 25:35.
Thirst will not be ignored. The nursing infant, the child making his last bid for love at bedtime, the patient
burning with fever, the wounded lying on the dusty battlefield, the refugees in the sun-baked camps, the traveler
crossing the desert, the elderly bedridden too weak to hold the glass, all link their strength to live with finding
someone to provide a drink. In these the thirst is obvious but the solution, though simple, is all too often not
achievable.
Another thirst, also serious, is the thirst for knowledge that has been driven underground by the keepers
appointed to quench it. Teachers, more intent on being noticed than needed, turn students into spectacles, as they
strive to gain fame for their greatness. The intelligent (see how well I taught them) and the dull (see what I have to
put up with) and the mediocre (see how hard I have to work for so many) all serve as reasons for soliciting praise for
self. Praise as a form of worship belongs to God. Despite popular views, praise perverted to exalt self is a poor tool
for teaching. It poisons learning environments and threatens student safety. The intelligent become targets for the
mediocre. The mediocre disdain their C's as worth less than the A's that they can't pursue without losing peer favor.
To gain acceptance the dull must do worse than the mediocre who base their sense of worth on being better than
they. Each has his reasons for hiding his thirst for knowledge. Like arrows that fly by day, praise shot from lying
tongues creates battlefields on which the wounded choose to die rather than drink.
Teachers with the tool of gentleness walk among them without weapons that turn classmates into targets.
Gentle teachers create safe space for learning. "Let me help you" offers knowledge without scolding or exalting
learners. Without drawing attention they draw water to quench the unique thirsts of each. They match the size of the
drink with the size of the need and the person in need. They blast no fire hose of facts at them to kill the spark of
learning. They sink none in pools of information that's over their heads, pools that would drown them if they drank it.
They protect none with umbrellas of excuses from the showers they need for growth. They march none over the
briars of pride-engendering praise or criticism or scorn.
All drink from the same well of knowledge, yet each one's God-given individuality directs the water to
creative uses that meet his or her unique needs. Each bask in the same light, yet all find something different to
delight them. Better alternatives than pride-engendering praise abound. Like jewels among rocks, faith, hope, love,
appreciation, courtesy, joy, kindness, encouragement, wisdom, enthusiasm, friendship, and gentleness wait to delight
students who collect and share them. "For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in My name, because ye
belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward." Mark 9:41. "Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt
thou be with Me in paradise." Luke 23:43.
Lord, thank You for Your gentleness in teaching me. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Recall your school days. How free did you feel to ask for help with your assignments?
Were your favorite teachers those who praised a lot or those who helped you a lot?
Which teacher's comments were especially helpful and encouraging to you?
Did teacher's praise ever strike you negatively?
If you were a good student, did it foster a superior attitude in you?
Did it encourage you to become approval-oriented rather than need-oriented?
Do you know people who look back with discomfort upon their school days? Why?
What role did school play in developing a negative self-concept in them?
What type of teaching do you want for your children?
Do you get defensive when your child is measured lower than you estimate him to be?
Does your anger say your child is worth less in your eyes than he should be if he expects to win your acceptance and
help?
Do you look for someone to blame or someone to help?
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April 28
Meet the Master Teacher: Is He Your Messiah?
"...Whom do men say that I the Son of Man am?...whom say ye that I am?" Matthew 16:13-15.
In the courtroom of the universe we face the test question of eternity. "What did you do with the love I
packaged into Calvary and gave you? Did you receive it and reveal it or reject it?" We know the facts of the case. Fact
1: Guilt is the fact that we broke God's Ten Commandment law of love. Fact 2: Gospel is the fact that Jesus died to
pay for Fact 1, our guilt for breaking the law. Fact 3: Grace is the fact that Jesus can reconnect us with God's love and,
by His indwelling Spirit, empower us to obey the law of love. As we ponder our answer and await the verdict, two
opposing teachers, Christ and our enemy, approach us to coach us.
The enemy is forceful and convincing to the conscientious: "FEEL GUILTY! FEEL GUILTY! Forget Calvary. That
only works for people who can live without sinning. You know all are sinners." To the careless and complacent, he
says: "Don't get too much knowledge. Facts 1 and 2 are enough. The gospel cancels out your guilt. That's it. Don't
mess with grace. That's God's business, not yours. You'll wreck it if you cooperate with its work in you. The law is
useless unless you're into loving, and you know good and well that you care more about getting love than giving it.
To answer the test question just say, "I accept Jesus and His love."
Christ looks at me as He did Peter that night of Mark 14 to see if I will indeed accept Him, words and all, or
reject Him. Will I really let Him write His law in my mind and heart, so He can set His love operating in me? Will I give
Him the center position in my relationships, so He can teach and empower me and my partners to love in every sphere
of life? How will I feel if I decide to use His love to fuel my partnerships and stop wasting my life trying to get love
from people who need it from me?
"Repent," He says. "Feel sorry that you have been killing yourself to get love from people. Know that my
death for you has placed in store all the love you need and more." His love warms and comforts me, but He forces no
choice answer to my lips. The people I hurt whom I couldve loved had I been connected to Him scan past my
memory. I do feel sorry I was too busy seeking love and did not meet their needs when it mattered most.
I
weigh the issues. If I put no faith in Christ's death for me at Calvary, I'll have no hope that He can live within me by
His Spirit, so He can shed no love into my life. Who would call living forever without love heavenly? Eternity
without His life-sustaining love would be hell, so He'd have to let me die.
If I do live by faith in His righteousness, He can dwell in me (Galatians 3:14) and shed His love abroad in me
(Romans 5:5), and empower me to love to obey (I John 5:3), and give me eternal life (Revelation 22:14). I'm
persuaded. I want this knowledge of God's life in me. I do repent. I am sorry I have been missing out on it. Im sorry
Ive been killing myself to earn love when Jesus has died to freely give it to me. Glad Im not too late!
Dear Master Teacher, "Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God." Matthew 16:16. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Do you agree with the three Facts stated above? Is Scripture the source of authenticity for each?
Does each carry as much weight as the others? How does being guilty differ from "feeling" guilty?
Does Guilt Fact 1 outweigh Gospel Fact 2 in your experience? Is it easier to believe you broke the law than to believe
that Jesus paid the price for your guilt? Why? Do you still "feel" guilty?
We base both on Scripture: If you die from Guilt Fact 1, why not live with Gospel Fact 2?
If we doubt the Gospel, why worry over Guilt, about which we can do nothing without the Gospel?
If we choose to live with Gospel Fact 2, why not live abundantly with Grace Fact 3?
God's Grace working His loving plan empowers us to do good works. See Ephesians 2:8-10.
We appreciate strength best when we see it work in our behalf. Parents and teachers may find it easier to do a task
without having to teach a child to cooperate. But we know that children need to be included in ways that develop
their muscles and minds. God also knows that. Loving gentleness, not loud threats and demands, builds their will to
cooperate with His work.
If you could pay the Greatest Teacher to teach you or your child, would you pay?
If His teaching were free, would you regard it as worth less or even worthless?
The Master Teacher, who wants us all to be free to love, reads our answers in our actions.
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April 30
Hope for You
"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given
unto us." Romans 5:5.

HOPE! You Don't Leave Home Without It

Hope that God lights never wanes.
It lifts our lives to higher planes
Whereon we teach and learn to love,
As we prepare for heaven above.
Hope is not a sleepy head.
It beats beauty out of bed:
Bedraggled before dawn it walks
Alone when none will share its thoughts.
Hope makes suns of stars and stars of sons.
Hope gives, forgives till goals are won.
Hope sings in the dark, sees day in night
Crows its coming sooner than some might...
Be willing to get up and look for it.
Hope arrives when fight or fear and flight
Signal its need at morn or noon or night.
On land, in stormy sea or windy sky above
Hope rides invisible waves that lead to love.
Traverse the earth and hope will be there
Singing your song, hearing your prayer,
Calling you to come along,
Numbering you in heavenly throng.
With "Christ in you, the hope of glory",
Hope is a parent with happy story:
Hope is a parent with lives to reach;
Hope is a parent who loves to teach.
How apparent is your hope?

by Norma Timm

Lord, please empower me to serve You in whatever role You need me to be. Amen.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

You may wish to write your own poem to express what Jesus means to you as a Master Teacher. What has He taught
you? Perhaps a former teacher would enjoy hearing some words of appreciation from you.
Do you know a depressed student in need of hope for his future? Scriptures with your comments might help him.

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