DIXON 1

Elizabeth Dixon
Briggs
English 2010-067 1 pm
4/28/15
People Getting Out of Domestic Violence
According to Huffingtonpost.com, 1 in 3 woman and 1 in 7 men have experienced
domestic violence sometime in their life time and a woman is beaten every 9 seconds in the US.
Also the average cost of emergency care for a woman is $947 and for a man is $387. Most cases
of domestic violence are never reported to the authorities. According to the National Coalition
Against Domestic Violence, On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by
an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million
women and men. People who are in an abusive relationship need to know where they can go to
get the help that they need and where they can go when they do get out of the abusive
relationship. People who are abused need to know where they can go to get the help that they
need when leaving an abusive relationship.
Staying in an abusive relationship, you will be abused again and again. You never know
when or if the abuse will get worse. According to Tawana Davis, A woman is hit an average of
35 times before she calls the police, and she will leave her abuser 5 or 6 times before she leaves
for good (pg. 67). When I was in an abusive relationship I did leave him once before I finally
left for good. I did go back to him after the first time because I thought that I couldnt do any
better than what I did. According to Megan McPherson Halket,
While women may fear the consequences of leaving the abuse, they can also be drawn
back during the honeymoon phase if the abuse cycle when the abuser tries to minimize

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the episode of violence by apologizing, promising to never do it again, buying gifts, etc.
(pg. 36).

Being controlled by someone else makes you believe that you cant do better than what you have
done. Woman also may stay for financial security. They may not have a job of their own
because their partner controls them and wont let them have a job. According to Judy L.
Postmus, For example, the abuser may discourage or prevent her from working, harass and
disrupt her at work, purposively ruin her credit score, demand to know how money was spent,
spend money that was designated for bills (pg. 251). I have gone through this in my abusive
relationship. I could not spend money on anything without checking with him first. I could not
even buy anything for myself that includes clothing, shoes or any essential items that I needed
for myself.

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This is what emtional and verbal abuse canlook like and feel like.

Men have a hard time reporting abuse if they are being abuse. They may feel ashamed,
humiliated, look down upon because for not fighting back. According to Venus Tsui, In studies
on health and mental health service utilization, men have been found less likely than woman to
seek help when they have encouraged problems that require the attention of helping
professionals(pg. 769). A lot of organizations that deal with domestic violence dont have the
ability or the facilities to help men when they are abused and are seeking help. According to
Venus Tsui, The data showed that reasons explaining mens reluctance to seek help could be
grouped into five major themes in this order based on the respondents written input: service
target perception, shame and embarrassment, denial, stigmatization, and fear (pg. 772).
Men dont see themselves as victims because they see complaining about being abused as a
weakness in themselves. If they do leave the relationship, where are they supposed to go since

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there are very few or no place where they can go and stay? Shelters mainly help women and have
no place to put the men that are abused and need someplace to go. Men are left to fend for
themselves when they do leave the relationship.

This is what Domestic Violence looks like against men.

Domestic violence is a serious problem because so many victims are being killed by their
abusers. Also some women have killed their abusers because they dont see any other way to get
away from their abusers. According to the Utah Domestic Violence Council Report, 28
domestic violence-related deaths occurred in Utah from July 2010 to June 2011. In this
instance when people kill the victim or their abuser, they usually have to face some kind of
charges against them and serve jail time for their actions. According to the Utah Domestic
Violence Council Report, 3,751 domestic violence criminal charges were filed in districts courts
statewide.
There needs to be more awareness of domestic violence so that people are aware of what
happens in this kind of situation. People need to know where they can get the help that they
need. People may not know how to get out of their abusive relationship or what to do when they
decide to leave. They dont need to be afraid to leave their abusive relationship. If they have
someplace to go when they do get out of their situations and also have the support system that

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they need to stay out of the abusive relationship. If there is no shelters for people to go to, there
needs to be a safe place for them to go to until they can get themselves stable.
Another solution is to make harsher sentencing on the abusers when they are charged.
The abusers dont realize the amount of hurt and damage that they are doing to their partner and
to their children. When I hear of an athlete that is charged for domestic violence, they usually
dont get suspended from their sport until their trail is over with and sentencing is handed down.
They are still able to continue to work without any consequence. What does this tell people? It
usually says that they can get away with anything and not have to pay for the actions. If youre
someone in the publics eye like athlete they should be suspended until the verdict is handed
down, then action be taken of their jobs. This is not a good example for kids to look up to
because they will think that they can do whatever they want and not face the consequences for
their actions.
Hopefully in the future people are more aware of domestic violence. Know the warning
signs of someone that is being abused or someone that is abusing someone else. Knowing what
the cycles of abuse in an abusive relationship looks like. No one deserves to be abused under no
circumstances. People need to stop abusing and controlling other people. People need to learn
to sit down and talk about their problems no matter how hard it is to talk about, even if you seek
some kind of therapy or counseling.

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Works Cited
DAVIS T, STRACHAN O, HOLCOMB L, HOLCOMB J. After domestic violence, why
should a Christian wife
call the police, not a pastor, first?. Christianity Today [serial on the Internet].
(2015, Jan), [cited March 30, 2015]; 59(1): 26-27. Available from: Academic
Search Premier.
Halket, MeganGormley, KatelynMello, NicoleRosenthal, LoriMirkin, Marsha. "Stay
With Or Leave The
Abuser? The Effects Of Domestic Violence Victim's Decision On Attributions
Made By Young
Adults." Journal Of Family Violence 29.1 (2014): 35-49. Psychology and
Behavioral Sciences Collection. Web. 25 Mar. 2015.
POSTMUS, JUDY L., ANDREA HETLING, and GRETCHEN L. HOGE. "Evaluating A
Financial Education
Curriculum As An Intervention To Improve Financial Behaviors And Financial
Well-Being Of Survivors Of Domestic Violence: Results From A Longitudinal
Randomized Controlled Study." Journal Of Consumer Affairs 49.1 (2015): 250266. Academic Search Premier. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.
Tsui, Venus, Monit Cheung, and Patrick Leung. "Help-Seeking Among Male Victims Of
Partner Abuse:
Men's Hard Times." Journal Of Community Psychology 38.6 (2010): 769-780.
Academic Search Premier. Web. 25 Mar. 2015