To: Tamera Phillips

From: Joel Burget

Date: 4/10/15
RE: Personal Change Proposal
For my personal change proposal I decided to focus me trying to increase my understanding of
body language and vocal cues to try to better pick up on peoples emotional state. It is in this
way that I can better communicate with people.
2/18/15
This time I was working on listening for tone of voice to better understand others
emotional state. This interaction was with an older man who was already frustrated with
previous interactions.
This interaction was a total failure. Instead of calming him down, his own frustration lead
him to attack me. I ended up getting frustrated and did not practice any methods.
2/21/15
This interaction I was focusing on reading body language while sparring. Using these
methods I thought I would be more able to read their posture and try to predict their attacks to
be able to block them more efficiently.
Sparring is a difficult time to attempt this as after several kicks to the head and as
exhaustion sets in. More practice would be needed but I can see the potential benefit of being
able to read posture to better predict attacks.
2/ 24/15
Today I was out driving around dusk without my lights on but with plenty of light to see
by. A nearby car merged near into my car then rolled down his window at the red light. Deciding
to play with this irritated man, I replied with a fake Australian accent. Based on his irritated tone
I knew he was irritated but my accent had completely thrown him off and redirected his irritation.
2/27/15
Today I realized yet again that I need to work on reading body language for more than
just communication. In sparring again I had taken several hits, some to the head. I clearly need
to keep working on it for both communication and sparring to better block incoming attacks.
3/2/15
Today I again messed up on the phones while at work. This older man had called in
about an issue he was having. He was trying to move files around in a particular order. After
attempting to explain that what he wanted wasnt possible in Windows 8, he grew angry and
attacked me. Instantly aggravated by his tone I agreed that he should go to the store instead.
3/7/15
Today was a interesting phone call. While I was helping the women on her issues for that
day I realized that her tone of voice was on the verge of defeat as she began telling me that her

life for the last 25 years was not worth living. I could not help much as I was getting more
apprehensive and that may have bleed into my voice. On the up side I think I am getting better
at reading moods based on vocal properties.
3/10/15
I had some realizations. While spending time with my girlfriend I noticed that she is very
different when with me as opposed to her family. With her family she seems more defensive,
almost seems like she is trying to maintain distance with more defensive postures. While with
me she has a very open posture and talks a lot more. It seems she is more comfortable with me
rather than her own family
3/14/15
This one is a little odd. I was eating dinner with my girlfriends family I could almost
sense that something was wrong. I think it was the little things that tipped me off. They were
trying to display kindness and tried to engage me with conversations but it seemed forced. What
really stands out is you could almost feel the tension in the air as they coldly ate when they
thought I wasnt looking. They are not happy and their body language shows it.
3/16/15
Ahh, this was a good day. I was out with my girlfriend today, I was trying to focus on her
body language as we were talking I noticed that she was edging a little closer and had a very
open body language. This lead me to realize that she seems to be more comfortable with me
rather than her own family. This is something that I am okay with.
3/27/15
Today I have had the biggest communication failure in some time, while spending time
with my girlfriend her aunt started to get antsy about her curfew and began messaging her
nearly constantly. While attempting to figure out her aunts attitude from the metamessages. I
took this to be an aggressive stance. This was not her stance and when I called her out on it
everyone grow more upset and only made the situation worse.
After working for several weeks I have made some progress in both reading peoples voices and
body language. There have been some ups and downs. Now at the end of these few weeks I
cannot call it a success or a failure just yet. At this moment it is safe to say that more practice is
needed. This still can still work with some more practice so I shall continue to work on these
skills.

Interpersonal Communications Relating to Others 7th edition, S. Beebee, S. Beebee, M.

Redmond, Pearson 2014.