Shelby Gant

UWRT 1102
Dr. Rand
Jan 24, 2015
Brotherly Love
Conflict is all around us and argument is all around us. We deal with conflict/arguments
every day and sometimes more than once a day depending on the person. And with conflict can
come disputes, anger, violence but with conflict you can come to a solution or an agreement. I
personally had a conflict with my elder brother a few years back that left me with a feeling that I
had never experienced before. My story goes like this
The sun shined through the window, and it was early. It was 7oclock kind of early. And
the only reason the sun managed to wake me up is because there was a hole in the blind just
perfect enough to hit my left eye. The blinds should have been fixed a long time ago, but there
we were, still not fixed. I guess my grandma forgot I told her it was broken the last time I came
to visit. We all know that feeling, when all you wanted to do was sleep in but the world is
somehow out to get you. It also doesnt help that I had a black eye, a busted lip and a swollen
nose. That made it pretty difficult to get back to sleep. But like any teenager I did my best to get
more sleep. It was all I could do to pull up the covers, though. I finally gave up and headed down
the stairs. I was hoping a cup of coffee would sooth the pain I had.
I walked out into the living room to find my grandma in her recliner, snoring. She always had
the worst snores of anyone Ive ever met. It was a wonder how my grandpa ever got any sleep.

Anyways, I walked over to her, kissed her on the forehead and headed towards the kitchen to
brew a pot. I managed to make a decent cup of coffee that morning, but me being me, I loaded it
up with sugar and some hazelnut cream and then went out to sit on the front porch swing. I
rocked back in forth while taking a few sips of coffee every now and then, running the events of
how I had got beaten up. And trying not to think about the pounding headache I knew would
have, complements of my brother. Yes, he is the one that gave me the black eye, busted lip, and
the swollen nose, but I guess you can say he was showing me brotherly love.
Zachary Paden Gant (Paden), aka my brother is 510 and 130lb, and stationed in Las Vegas at
the Nevada air force base. Hes not a very big guy and Ive never taken him as being very
aggressive man, but I never got to spend much time with him after he had spent time in the air
force. Well, he had gotten some time off and decided to come visit my grandparents with his
soon to be wife. Thats when my dad and stepmom decided to make a family trip out of it. Of
course I was excited to see him and so was everyone else. I always wanted him and I to have a
strong relationship and I thought this was going to be the chance to start, but who knows after the
stunt he pulled.
For me I thought the night started off rather well. My dad had started a small bonfire and I
was helping him grab some fire wood. My little brothers were running around, my uncle was
watching the stars, and Paden was on his second beer; laughing and enjoying himself. We all
seemed content, happy to have each others company since it rarely happened anymore. We
finally all sat down surrounding the fire taking in the heat as the temperature dropped a few
degrees. We each started chatting about one topic or another and most everyone would chime in
and say a few words. Me on the other hand, the quite person I am, choose to say very little. Its
usually never an issue unless someone is trying to provoke me and thats when Paden decided to

start, his so called torture. Im easily embarrassed and he knew that, but processed to ask me
about my love life which I like to keep private. He also knew I just had gotten out of a long term
relationship, which end badly (it was a very sore subject to talk about). With that being a
sensitive subject already, he decided to add on that I was crazy and thats why I couldnt keep a
relationship. Let me remind you, this was all said in front of my family. But of course, everyone
started laughing. I was mortified but I tried to cover it up by laughing just a little. Inside, though,
I just wanted to slap him; so thats exactly what I did. I swear I did it jokingly, but there was
some miscommunication along the way because by the time the forth slap came around his hand
met the back of my neck slamming me into the ground. I ate dirt, and it didnt taste good. I
thought he had broken my nose; needless to say, I was surprised and grateful to find out when it
wasnt. Embarrassed, I stood up with the help of my uncle. I was too ashamed to look at anyone
all I heard was my dad starting to yell at Paden. I covered my face and ran inside to the room I
was staying in.
I wiped the tears from my eyes as my dad walked in. He seemed distressed, more than
Ive ever seen before. He leaned down checking out my face and trying to figure out if I had a
concussion. He was worried about my physical state, contemplating if they needed to take me to
a hospital. As for me, I felt more emotionally hurt than physically; I think thats why I continued
to cry. I was wrecked. I wanted nothing to do with him. As my father was examining my face, I
saw Paden walk up to the room. I soon as I saw him I flinched. The thought of him talking to me
or even getting near me was repulsive. He tried is best to apologize even trying to push his way
past my uncle. The only thing I let him do was look at my face so he could see the damage he
did. I wanted him to feel as bad as I did. As the night ended I stayed in bed. I had I could/wanted
to take for the day.

I did not want to forgive him for what he did and how he made me feel. I was a girl and a
man is never supposed to lay his hand of a girl. That is the main reason I did not was to forgive. I
was going to have to talk in out with the rest of my family before I felt like I could face him
again...
This conflict was a very serious one and still has an impact on me today but in a hostile
way. I accept what happened. And as of today, my brother and I get along very well. It took
some work and it took me months to be able to speak to him again. It also took a lot realize that
he is not violent to just be violent. He had a reason to act the act he did and I was not used to it. I
am not in any way justifying his action but simply understand his environmental changes that
had made him different then when I lived with him. There were many cultural factors that
influenced his and my behavior.
At the time of the accident he caused me to feel inferior to him. He was aggressive,
insensitive, and had no clue the impact this would have. Granted, I was the first one to hit him,
but I was clearly laughing and joking around. I was affected socially due to the comments that
were made about me from my brother in front of my parents, cousins, little brothers, and my
uncle. In return to my social embarrassment I made a scene to show that I was not going to take
what he said. I never in a million years thought that he would physically hurt me thats why I
continued to hit him a few more times. It seemed harmless and everyone watching knew that as
well.
Culturally, I was influenced by my emotion and by peer pressure. I let my emotion get the
best of me. I was physically hurt and for a girl like me, who has never been aggressive, it was a
lot to take in. I didnt know what to think of my brother after it had happen. He had showed a

side of him I never knew he had. I was alarmed and so were other members of my family. My
father, who never curses, did when this happened. Thats a very big deal. My brother has never
heard my father curse at him in the 21 years hes been alive. My dad was only being protective;
he had on his fatherly instincts. I also remember my stepmom telling my sister-in-law that night
that if he has ever been abusive to her that she should take the kids and get out. Even to me that
sounded extreme. But it sounded pretty accurate after the event that happened. The one person
that didnt give me any sympathy was my mother. She actually laughed and told me that I
shouldnt have bothered him. The cultural influences that she was going off of is that she knew
him better than anyone and that you get what you deserve, referring to me.
Over time, the course of a year or so, I realized that my perspective had changed. I no
longer held what he did against him. After having many discussions with various family member
and friends I decided that he was using his instincts. It was out of habit. I took into account that
he had been in the military and that I never saw how he was when he got out. The brother I knew
when he lived at home was not the same brother that moved away and went to the military. And
with the military comes aggression and violence, they are trained to be physical people. I had to
realize that he was a changed man. And From my knowledge I have never heard of my brother
fighting anyone or being aggressive toward someone so I also took that into consideration. So
there were many considerable things that change my perspective in the way I feel it should have
changed.
My personal conflict has taught me that I should not act upon emotion. You should
always find plausible and factual reason to react to something in a professional way no matter
who it is. You should always take into account outside factors that would make someone react
violently and know how to react to change in other people. We have to be open minded because

as soon as that happens we are able to understand other peoples point of view. Thats why we are
able to change our minds. Conflict is not always a bad thing. It can help us better understand
something or someone. It can show you something you didnt see before.

Process Notes
1. This paper has been very different from what I did in my writing comp class I took at
CPCC. I have not been used to writing narratives and then evaluating why reasoning
for how or why I acted a certain way. I always wrote essays so this was a change.
2. I added more detail in to the actually story part of the essay. It now, I feel, has better
flow and allows the reader to have more of an idea of why the physical part of
conflict happened.
3. I did not have a classmates feedback upon my paper but the class activities helped
me develop more of a story and conflict if you will. Having group discussions helped
make things clear
4. I would like to elaborate more on the argument that Im making.
5. The most difficult choice when I was revising is change the present tense to past tense
so that they paper flowed nicely.
6. I was proud about how the whole paper came together at the end.