Reflection:

Traditional revision- MWA 1

Looking back at my original draft of my Major Writing Assignment 1, I was able to
revise it once more to improve the quality of the paper and better exercise the student learning
objectives. Although I felt like much of my paper was strong, there were certain aspects that
needed a little further revision especially when considering that there is always room for
improvement. Some of the changes I made affected the structure of the paper, and I further
explained certain points in the paper to clarify the information I was presenting. Some other
revisions that I did to my Major Writing Assignments were done just to help my paper flow with
ease and less forced in order to make the document more understandable.
The first major change I made to my major writing assignment 1 was adding a paragraph
to describe the ad that I analyzed. The paragraph was needed to paint a picture for the audience
and also to guide the audience through the ad page. Originally, in my major writing assignment, I
didnt include this paragraph, which really hurt the quality of my essay. I specified as to where
certain information was found in the ad, like the tuition cost, financial aid offered and where
there was a basic description of the course. This paragraph also helped to describe the images on
the page of the ad. Afterwards, I felt like I was able to describe the page well enough where my
audience could imagine how the advertisement looked without actually looking at the page.
Throughout the essay I also made a few grammatical changes that just helped to make the
paper flow from sentence to sentence. These small changes also helped improve a simple
sentence to clarify the idea being described. For example, on the sentence, The EMT course is a
one semester long course, including 160 hours of experience I added [and] before the word
including to separate the two ideas. This helped to clarify the sentence a little better. Another

sentence where I made a simple change was The tuition for this course is only $7,000, and
includes the cost for Basic Life Support Certification, Advanced Cardiac Life Support
Certification, and Pediatric Advanced Life Support Certification. First I change the and before
the description of what the tuition includes to which since it seems like a better word choice to
show what the tuition included. I also struck out the $ symbol since I had the word dollars after
the quantity since it seemed redundant and unnecessary. Further in the essay, I didnt frame a
quote very well by using the word saying, which was not necessary. Without the word, the quote
flowed better within my paper and seemed more natural.
Revising my paper once again afterwards helped me to better understand the student
learning objectives set out for us to learn through the assignment. It helped me to notice how
much further I had to analyze a different source like an advertisement to understand what exactly
the advertisement was trying to make their audience do. Through the revision of my paper, I
further analyzed the advertisement and was able to better understand it in order to make sure that
I included all the necessary information that most students look for. It also helped me better
understand how the advertisement used pathos, logos, and ethos to their advantage by making me
reflect on the way they used it and how it influenced my opinion on the university.
Overall, I am not disappointed in myself as the amount of things I later decided to change
in my paper. There were a few errors that I felt like I could have caught earlier, like grammatical
errors and word choices, if I would have paid closer attention to my own writing. As far as the
amount of effort needed to analyze an outside source, like an advertisement, I noticed that it
takes a great deal of attention to detail. In the end everyone makes mistakes, it is just important
to learn from them to grow; in this case, as a writer.