CHANGE YOUR LIFE

IN 30 DAYS
Author: Rhonda Britten
Publisher: Dutton Penguin Press USA Inc.
Date of Publication: 2004
ISBN : 0-525-94789-2
No. of Pages: 272 pages

About the Author Wisdom in a Nutshell

A guide to your journey of transformation, Change Your Life in 30 Days
revolves around the principles. The underlying principle behind change is
that for change to happen, a person has to be true to himself. The second
principle which the author emphasizes is that a person should break the cycle
of fear that holds the person back for change to take place. In this book, she
Rhonda Britten outlines the steps to making those changes one day at a time. For people who
Rhonda Britten is a Life Coach on the want to make some major changes in their lives or who want to start over,
NBC daytime TV show, "Starting Over." each day is a journey that takes the reader through several questions to
As the founder of the Fearless Living
Institute, she is considered the global answer, create intention statements, define life goals and outline the steps
expert on mastering emotional fears as needed to reach those goals. Within 30 days, a person can create a new fresh
well as the author of Fearless Loving: 8
Simple Truths that will Change the Way
start in life.
You Date, Mate and Relate and
Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses
and Love Without Regret (translated
into 12 languages) where she shares
her groundbreaking model of fear. She
has her own PBS Special, appears
frequently on Montel Williams and has
been profiled internationally in
magazines such as, "Shape UK,"
"Marie Claire AU," and "First for Women
US" and in newspapers like the
"London Sunday Times" and on radio
worldwide. In the United Kingdom,
Rhonda is the Life Doctor on "Help Me
Rhonda," a reality-based TV show that
transforms people’s lives in 30 days.
With two different television shows on
two different continents plus her
nationally viewed PBS Special, Rhonda
has proven that she can take the
mystery out of any challenge for millions
of people and is now revolutionizing the
way the world views fear.

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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten
Day 1: A New Beginning
Your journey to change starts here. This path
involves knowing that life's dreams can be fulfilled.
Whether your dream is tangible or not, you can see
them all unfold by being true to yourself.
How do you then know that you are being true to
yourself? Answering yes to the following questions
simply reflects that your main thrust is to be true to
yourself:
· Are you willing to put personal integrity
above a promise to another?
· Are you willing to listen to your heart while
using your head?
· Are you willing to quit lying to yourself in
order to start loving yourself?
· Are you willing to be authentic even if it
means being vulnerable?
· Are you willing to invest in the life you have to
get the life you want?
The first step to change is defining
the change you want in your life.
Define the success that you desire and the
transformation that you wish to achieve. Answer the
following questions as honestly as possible. Your
answers will determine your commitment to your
journey to change:
· How would being true to yourself change
your life?
· If you are true to yourself, what are you afraid
might happen?
· What has stopped you before from
becoming the best you possible?
· Describe the you that you would like to be in
30 days.
· What is one thing that you are willing to do
today to be more true to yourself?
Set the right pace of your journey. Remember the
following points to throughout this 30-day process of
change.
· Defining a word helps to clarify what you
Copyright 2004 BestSummaries
believe.
· Being specific with an answer accelerates
growth.
· Wanting a better life is really a desire to be
more true to yourself.
· Telling the truth is an important part of
discovering who you are.
Day 2: Give Credit Where Credit is Due
Acknowledge yourself and give credit for what you
have done in the past. This technique will help you
build your confidence level. To do this, you must know
how to filter the every information properly. The
information that you receive and feed your mind can
determine or affect your feelings, thoughts and
behaviors.
Some of the common filters people use to deal with
information are:
· “Rhonda doesn't know me” is a filter that really
says “no one really knows the real me.” A
person with this kind of filter finds intimacy
and trust in people too difficult to gain.
· “I haven't done enough” is a filter used by
people who are perfectionists in nature.
These kinds of people are workaholics and
have little or no time to take care of
themselves.
· “Thank God somebody finally understands
me” is a filter for people who are afraid of not
being seen and seek validation in other
people.
· “I wish” is a filter similar to “I know me better
than you do” wherein you find it difficult to take
credit.
· “If I'm doing better than I think I am, why don't I
feel better?” relies mostly on feelings and not
on logic.
· “I am!” is a filter for people who doubt
themselves a lot and question compliments
from people.
· People who say “Thank you” when given a
compliment have high self-esteem and are
gracious regardless of what compliment is
given.
· “Don't tell me that! I won't stay motivated” is
for people who try to fix themselves but beat
themselves in the process. Negative thoughts
occupy their minds; suffering and struggling
are familiar feelings.
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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten
· “You bet I am. I've worked hard” is for
people with a healthy dose of self-
confidence and give one's self credit where
it is due.
Identifying which filter you use can save you from
the pitfalls in making changes. To build up
confidence, simply acknowledge and accept some
of the things that you have done in the past.
Acknowledge yourself for the accomplishments you
have done at least 50 times. This can help in
changing how you view yourself, thus increasing
your confidence. Writing your accomplishments is
important. This is one act of being true to yourself.
Day 3: Building Your Confidence Muscle
As an extension of Day 2, Day 3 focuses on
confidence building. This activity involves recalling
and writing down the times or situations when you
feel most confident and not confident about yourself.
These moments can serve as stepping-stones in
doing things differently the next time.
How do you know if your confidence is growing?
Here are the five clues:
· You can count on yourself. You do what you
say and you get the job done.
· You are willing to feel your feelings and take
a risk anyway. No matter how scary things
get, you always remember that feelings do
not determine success, risk does!
· Facing your fears is a daily experience. See
fear for what it is: an affirmation of your
growth.
· You have learned to be comfortable in the
uncomfortableness of change. You put your
negative voice in perspective and realize it
does not run your life.
· You are willing to give up all you know to
discover your true you. You have given up
justifying your actions; instead, your life
speaks for itself. Your main commitment is
to keep growing, and therefore you have let
go of your need to always be right.
Day 4: Purpose and Passion
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To undergo change successfully, you must first be
able to define your purpose and passion in life. Day 4
focuses on the discovery of these things.
Purpose defines the reason for your existence and
passion is what ignites, drives and motivates you to
do your purpose. Purpose and passion direct your life
and help you achieve happiness, completeness and
genuine success. These can help you achieve your
goals and do things far beyond your imagination.
Remember the following points to integrate purpose
and passion in your life:
· Your purpose is already within you.
· Passion gives you the desire to succeed.
· Passion without purpose can be perceived
as being unfocused and confused.
· Purpose without passion can make life feel
like a chore.
Day 5:Affirmations, Intentions and Goals
Day 5 shows how you can use affirmations as
powerful tools in introducing changes in your life.
Affirmations combined with intentions and goals can
produce powerful results.
Affirmations and intentions are positive, powerful
statements that can cause miracles and can make
your dreams come true. Think of the things that you
want to achieve in life, write them down and start
claiming that you have achieved them.
Day 6: Stretch, Risk or Die
Stretch, Risk, and Die signify the three levels of your
fear. With comfort zone being the most ideal state,
your actions motivated by fear move significantly
from stretch (something you do that is associated with
your “lowest level of fear”), to risk (something that
requires courage to carry out), and then eventually to
die (something that you do that is so scary, you
wanted to die).
Completing the process is the beginning of change.
You have faced your fears and taken the big risk.
Your old confining negative thoughts and behaviors
are now overcome. A part of you has died. You are
already experiencing change.
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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten
Day 7:Are You Making It Up or Is It True?
Face the truth. This is one important prerequisite to
being true to yourself. Instead of blaming or making
up excuses, examine the whole truth in the events of
your lives.
The following are questions that can help you stick
with the truth:
· Are you making it up or is it true? It keeps
you honest and open with others.
· When you make things up, you are afraid to
become vulnerable and therefore intimate.
· See the situation “as is,” take your
perceptions out and focus on the facts.
· Facing what and when you make things up
will help you to heal.
An important and wonderful
exerciseis writing yourself
a letter of gratitude.
Day 8: The Freedom of Discipline
Start practicing disciplined freedom on Day 8--
working in a disciplined manner and taking
responsibility for one's work. While both words
(freedom and discipline) have different meanings,
both can be used in life as means of being true and
sticking to the truth.
Examples are taking on projects that you can
realistically finish on time, or responsibly working on
something that you enjoy. Enjoying work in
disciplined manner helps you succeed in life.
Day 9: Shine Your Light
Shining one's light actually is a form of
acknowledgment for the wonderful things that you
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have accomplished. Shining or giving or receiving
compliments helps boost self-esteem. Knowing when
to shine or to give shining compliments is a choice
that you can make.
Instead of waiting for others to compliment you, you
should take action by sharing the good news with
others. Good news can be an accomplishment or a
success story that serves as a pat on the back that
can help you rise. Shining moments can be
empowering. It greatly helps you gain self-
confidence.
Day 10: Integration
Day 10 is the time to gel together and examine the
insights and lessons you have learned since Day 1.
Integrating all the past day exercises can help you
gauge whether changes have already been made.
Rate yourself honestly and get a clear picture on
where you stand. This letter can help you accept your
accomplishments regardless of the results.
Day 11: Regrets
This day is the time to examine your core needs-- an
expanded and more personal version of Maslow's
Hierarchy of Needs. By doing so, you can identify
what you really need in order to be fulfilled, happy and
satisfied with life.
By examining these needs, regrets from the past can
be put to rest. You can then move forward in your
journey to change. By identifying at least five of your
core needs, the healing process can start and past
issues can be put to rest.
Day 12:Ask For What You Want
Knowing what you want by separating feelings and
thoughts is one way of introducing change in your life.
Understand your fears and the things that hold you
back, this can help you ask the world for what you
want.
Asking for what you want involves riska risk you have
to take as this is a part of the process. Get what you
want by confronting your fears and emotions and by
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defining what you really want.
Hurt is a powerful burden that
a person can carry throughout life.
Day 13: The Power of Words
Words are powerful. These can empower or
disempower you. Using disempowering words can
get you stuck in a cycle of negativism. You are truly
what you think. When you say “it's hard”, life or any
activity becomes really hard.
By identifying phrases or words that can be
disempowering, and by being careful with them, you
can move fluidly towards a happier and better life.
The key is to identify and remove negative words
and phrases. Replacing them with positive thoughts
and words instead.
Day 14: Liar, Liar
Don't lie, or to the very least, avoid it. Change the
habit of lying in situations. Flush out all that is untrue
and focus yourself only on the truth. Telling the truth
can open the doors for being a better you.
Practice today as a No Lie Zone. Free yourself from
lying for the next twenty-four hours and feel the
benefits of keeping your integrity intact. Try your
best to be true to yourself and to others.
Day 15: Trusting Heart
Trust is an important element in change. It is
essential to learn how to trust yourself in the things
that you do. Also, learn how to trust other people
specially those closest to your heart. Without trust,
peace of mind is not possible. You will always doubt
yourself or others. Trust yourself first; this is
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important before you learn to truly trust others.
Day 16: The Myth of Balance
The Myth of Balance is the belief that you can have it
all. Striving for this is stressful. We all live in an
information age where we are bombarded daily with
different information wanting attention. Jobs are
becoming stressful simply because of information
overload. What makes the demanding things around
us stressful is that you only 24 hours a day to live
through them. Wanting to have all in this too
complex world can really cause stress in your life.
In Day 16, start knowing what matters most and start
making commitments. This may be a relationship, a
job, a hobby or simply finding one's self. Just focus on
knowing what you value the most. Through this, you
can create balance in your life. Start creating a life log.
This can help you know when to start and track your
commitments.
Day 17: Excuses
Excuses can tie you down, keep you where you are,
and justify the wrong things that you have done.
Exercise releasing excuses. Write down the top
three excuses that you always make. By
acknowledging them and eventually removing them,
you can start moving on and making changes in your
life.
This exercise is also a way of becoming truer to one's
self. By giving up excuses and instead moving on to
be a positive person, change can happen
tremendously as it releases the burden of excuses.
Day 18: Intuition
Intuition is an important gift that you can use to make
judgement calls. While there is no scientific
explanation for how intuition works, it is generally
believed that intuition can guide your life.
The basis is faith in oneself. The difference between
fear and intuition is that an inner voice can tell you, in
a calm manner, to go on with the decision. Listening to
your intuition can make you feel empowered, secure,
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and enlightened. Fear, on the other hand, holds you
back because of past failures and risks. Listening to
intuition when making decisions is a good habit to
practice, this can bring change in the process.
Day 19: Forgiveness
Be willing to forgive and let go in order to free
yourself of this burden. Identify the hurts you faced
in the past and know its source. Take the first step to
forgive. Whether it's forgiving one's self or others,
what is important is you let go of the burden.
Embracing beauty is a part
of making a person’s life beautiful.
Day 20: Momentum
Day 20 is another milestone that you have to take
time to examine. Use the lessons learned or
changes that happened during the past 20 Days as
reality check.
Taking time to answer some questions will reveal
whether changes have already occurred in your life.
Don't lose momentum for the past 20 days of this
process. Keep on going and practice the lessons
you have learned so far. Integrate these lessons
into habits and start how dramatically your life will
change.
Day 21: Luck, Fate and Destiny
When bad or good things happen to people, they
usually blame it on luck, fate or destiny. However, by
taking a proactive approach in life, people can really
make changes just by identifying things that they
can control and can't control.
Day 21 helps you to be realistic instead of just
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blaming things on luck, fate or destiny. The
differences among the three is that with luck a person
is just waiting for things to happen; with fate things
happens to a person; and with destiny a person is
already preordained in life. By defining life's purpose
and knowing what you can and cannot control,
changes can happen.
Day 22: The Gift of Rejection
Learning how to accept rejections is an important
factor in the change process. Rejection keeps you
frozen with fear and humiliation thus causing you to
be stagnant; not growing, not moving forward. Learn
how to accept rejections. Overcome and conquer the
fear accompanied by it.
Day 23: For orAgainst
For or against are mindsets that people use as filters
in seeing how the world behaves-- “for you” or
“against you”. To overcome these two mindsets,
learn how to be grateful for every situation you are in
and every circumstance you encounter. Being
grateful is the first step in doing away with a negative,
jaded outlook. It helps you focus on a better
perspective and on making living each of your days
better.
Day 24: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Loving one's self is an important step in introducing
change in one's self. Loving is important because it
gives a person self-worth. Loving another person is
impossible if you do not know how to love yourself.
How will you be able to love others if you do not even
know how it is to love yourself?
The following are some ways on how to love yourself
selflessly:
· Say no and mean it.
· Forgive yourself.
· Ask for help.
· Pray.
· Get a pedicure.
· Go our dancing.
· Plan a vacation.
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· List your assets.
· Pay your bills.
· Drink water.
Day 25: Forget Motivation
Put behind motivation-- a short-term solution in
making people take action. Focus on contentment
instead. Motivation happens when a person faces
fear of losing or being branded as a loser causing a
person to work more, putting more pressure in his
life.
Contentment however is the opposite. Apart from
general knowledge, change can still happen even in
the middle of contentment. A contented person is
confident about undergoing change and doesn't feel
pressured by it. Internal satisfaction is important to
be true to yourself.
Day 26: Never ConfrontAgain
Day 26 focuses on clarifying issues when dealing
with situations involving people. The underlying
principle is that no two people are alike.
Misunderstanding happens and confrontations
occur when they do not meet halfway..
By clarifying issues before going out of hand, you
can avoid confrontations and accomplish what
needs to be done instead. Rejections too can be
avoided painlessly. Clarify the issues that you avoid
in life. This will not only bring change in life but in love
as well.
Day 27: Redefining You
This is the time of self-seeking. Ask yourself if there
have been any significant changes that have
transpired in your life. This is the point when
changes would already have occurred.
Three areas are very important at this point: home,
relationships and love. These are the three key
anchors in life should already have been affected by
the changes you have undergone for the past 27
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days. Observe the ritual of honoring yourself through
growth at this stage. Do this by writing down 5
acknowledgements for shifts and changes in life.
Day 28: Beautiful You
Embracing beauty is a part of making a person's life
beautiful. Britten offers three simple exercises that
you can use to introduce beauty in your life: smiling,
reading the daily newspaper and asking questions.
Beauty does not have to only be physical. It should
go deeper. Practicing excellence helps you create
beauty in life by being passionate. Take time each day
to identify beautiful moments. This is a good exercise
in reminding yourself of the importance of beauty.
Day 29: Heaven
Day 29 is another milestone for you. This is the day
when you have already transformed, changed, better.
This day is simply “heaven”.
However, to fully become a changed person, you
need to complete the final exercise: writing a
commitment letter. This is a tool for affirming the
changes you have undergone during the past 29
days.
This second to the last step serves as a stepping-
stone for refining the rest of your life. Reviewing your
commitment letter every year will help you put life in
perspective, as change is a continuous process.
Day 30: Let Me Introduce You To Yourself
The last day summarizes the past 29 days that you
have undergone. This is the time to review what has
happened in the past 29 days through a set of guide
questions.
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