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Macias, Olige

Kim Olige, Jesus Macias


UWRT 1102-016
02-24-15
Inquiry Assignment 2
Act like A Lady, Think like A Man
Is it possible to be a woman and think like a man? What do Men think like? Well if you
ask Steve Harvey, he can inform you of just what the male mind is thinking in his book Act like
A Lady, Think Like A Man. The book is centered on the idea that women need to understand
what goes through the mind of a man to make a good relationship work. While explaining just
what it is that goes on in a males mind when dealing with women, Harvey uses misleading
evidence and faulty reasoning known as fallacies (Wood). According to Nancy Wood, the author
of the book Perspectives of argument, fallacies can seem convincing when they appear to
support what an audience believes or wants to believe (Wood). In Act like A Lady, Think Like
A Man, Harvey uses logical and emotional fallacy techniques, that include hasty generalization,
either-or, and begging the question, to provide females with a perceived thought of the male
thinking process.
Nancy Wood would consider hasty generalization when arguers jump to conclusions
by basing a conclusion on too few examples. For example, Harvey says if youve been dating a
guy for at least ninety days and youve never met his mother, you dont go to church together,
you havent been around his family or friends, and he took you to a network/job/social function
and introduced you by your name, then youre not in his plans- he doesnt see you in his future.

Macias, Olige

Why does this guy have to introduce you to his family and our friends in ninety days in order
to see a future with his mate? Is it not possible for him to be nervous and not feel comfortable of
his mate meeting his family or friends?
Harvey also claims that any man who hears another man say this is my lady, he knows
that whatever games/tricks/plans/schemes he may have had in mind for the pretty, sexy lady
standing in front of him need to be shelved until the next single woman comes in the woman,
because another man has professes out loud that this one is mine and shes not available for
anything you were plotting and planning. Its a special signal we men recognize and respect as
the universal code for off-limits (Harvey). But do all men respect this universal code?
Nowadays guys dont even ask you if you have a boyfriend when theyre trying to holler says
Clark Baines (Baines), author who witnessed her friend being hit on by a guy after claiming she
had a boyfriend. I guess all guys dont respect the off limits girl.
Harvey makes another claim that If your man loves you, he is willing to tell anybody
and everybody, Hey, this is my friend ____. Thats because the man has placed you in the most
special part of his heart-the man that truly loves you- will give you a title. The title is letting
everyone know within the sound of his voice that he is proud being with you and that he has
plans for you. He sees himself in a long-term committed relationship with you and hes
professing it for all to hear because hes serious about this thing-it may be the beginning of
something special. Does this mean it isnt possible to love someone if you dont give him or her
a title? An anonymous person had this to say on a blog posted by Kristi Gutafson I find the term
girlfriend doesnt exactly roll off of my tongue. My girlfriend sees it the other way, however.
Especially when I introduce her as my friend, which as you may expect doesnt go over well.

Macias, Olige

For background, Im fully committed to this relationship and have told her so wanting to
spend the rest of our lives together (Gutafson). Harvey is trying to emotionally appeal to the
deep prejudices of his audience. These claims by Harvey are simply over exaggerated.
Although Steve Harvey seems to have all the right intentions when giving women advice
about men, he seems to just add insult to injury when not only misleading women through Nancy
Woods fallacy concept of hasty generalization, but also through her other concept known as
either-or. Either-or, by definition, is when some arguments are oversimplified by the arguer
and presented as black-or-white, either-or choices when there are actually other alternatives
(Wood). Harvey writes about how every man seems to have the same mindset and if a woman
could understand that thought process, she would have the key to keeping a man in her life.
Harvey states Men get away with a whole lot of stuff in relationships because women never
understood how men think(Harvey). Harvey portrays a solution to women, that if they can
understand how a man thinks, than they can stop men from getting the upper hand on them on.
Harvey gives only one other alternative; either a woman thinks like a man or she will never be
able to get or understand a man. Andrea, a woman responding to a forum online stated, I
wanted something that was noncommittal (Meltzar). In this scenario I do not see a way in which
her being able to think like a man would help solve the fact that she just did not want the
commitment of a relationship, but did in fact want all the benefits that came with being in one.
To take things to another extreme Harvey adds and one simple thing is true about each
of us; we are simple people and basically think in a similar way (Harvey). Harvey takes a
population of about 3.5 billion people and claims that they are all simple people that think in a
similar way. Concluding that about half of the world has the same thought process is a long
shot for Steve Harvey to make because not only will women attempt to reenact what Harvey

Macias, Olige

states in his book with every man they meet, they will also begin to believe that if they do not do
what it says then they will never understand a man, thus never accomplish a good relationship.
As Richard Dumas, men relationship advice examiner, stated The point is that every man has
his own unique inner chemistry that leads him to be attracted to and desire a particular type of
woman Just like no two people can have the same DNA, every man has his own innate desires
that shape his personality, characteristics, and mannerisms, and this also applies to all women
(Dumas). Harvey, having no education in psychology or relationship therapy, seems to think
otherwise.
Aside from jumping to conclusion and using either-or to set thinking like a man as the
only solution to understanding a man, Harvey continues to persuade women through a concept
that Nancy Wood would describe as begging the question. Nancy wood describes the concept of
begging the question when no support is provided by the arguer. The claim is simply restated,
over, and over again, in one form or another (Wood). Harvey demonstrates such concept clearly
by stating because trust me: the playbook you all have been using is outdated, and the plays
dont work. In fact, the biggest play you have in your arsenal- the one where you walk into a
relationship thinking youre going to change your man, is the worst and most doomed play of
them all (Harvey) and simply gives no proof of this. Is it possible that Harvey knows every
womans thought process when approaching a relationship, so much so that he can discredits that
thought process and calls it outdated and a play that no longer works? Harvey states that a
womans playbook is no longer valid, but has no evidence to back it to show that every
womans attempt at a relationship will continue to fail. Instead Harvey just expects women to
take his word for things and that will get them to the relationship they desire. The reason many
women seem to be okay with Harvey discrediting their plays, is because he gives a new

Macias, Olige

playbook and in that playbook he gives them the opposing teams goals. Once you get
that down youll have to understand a few essential truths: men are driven by who they are, what
they do, and how much they make. NO matter if a man is a CEO, a CON, or both, everything he
does is filtered through his title (what de does), and the rewards for the effort (how much he
makes) (Harvey). Harvey gives women a firm concept of what each man wants in his life, a
concept that Harvey uses to make up the new playbook he has to offer. Harvey assures every
woman that every man has these three things, in mind at all times, who they are, what they do,
and how much they make, with no valid evidence to support such claim. Harvey is so sure in his
way of thinking that he feels as if he does not need evidence to support such claim, that all men
want the same thing, a way of thinking that could lead many women to have a worse perspective
of man than they already.
Such claim cannot be proven but actual professionals, such as Richard Dumas, can give
an insight on the opposite of that claim by stating the point is that every man has his own
unique inner chemistry that leads him to be attracted to and desire a particular type of woman
(Dumas). Such statement discredits Harveys claims, which nowadays many women look toward
when seeking advice in a relationship with a man.
Aside from Harvey not having much evidence to support such claims about mans
thought process, he tends to do the same with women. Harvey writes Women have made it clear
that they want an even exchange with men: they want their love to be reciprocated in the same
way they give itthey expect the premium that they put on commitment to be equally adhered
to, valued, and respected(Harvey). Harvey makes the claim that all women want the same thing
from a man and expects this statement to be true simply because he said so. He continues enrich
such idea by going more in-depth with the concept to that in one way or another women can

Macias, Olige

make a connection with such statement. The claims given by Steve Harvey by simple intuition
may at times be helpful for women but putting all men and women under a certain standard with
no real support could lead to more pain than aid in some cases.
Can a man just not think like a man and a woman stick to thinking like a woman? Steve
Harvey does not seem to think so. Harvey sees his playbook as the only way a woman in
problematic relationship can win the Super Bowl, having a good relationship. What Harvey
may or may not know is that this playbook of his is filled with tricked plays that Nancy
Wood would describe as fallacies, that include hasty generalization, either-or, and begging the
question, which could backfire at any moment. Steve Harveys book Act like a lady, Think like
a man over simplifies the act of having a good relationship. Not only does he portray a simple
one solution, he makes it seem as though that one solution would help through the whole
relationship. It is common knowledge that a relationship is not as simple as he makes it seem, a
playbook, instead many would view it as a chess game, not stating that a relationship is a game.
A game in which each player has to look at his or her opponents move carefully to decide the
outcome, not a game in which each move you will make is premeditated because if that were to
happen you would never win.

Macias, Olige

Work Cited
Dumas,RichardC."WomenShouldKnowThatAllMenDoNotThinkAlike."Examiner.com.
2Oct.2009.Web.25Feb.2015.<http://www.examiner.com/article/womenshould
knowthatallmendonotthinkalike>.
Edgar,Carolyn."MenArentSimple."CarolynEdgar.23May2010.Web.25Feb.2015.
<http://carolynedgar.com/2010/05/23/menarentsimple/>.
Gail,Clark."IsItJustMe,OrDoes"IHaveaBoyfriend,MeanNothingtoThirstyMen?"
RSS.MadameNoire,21June2012.Web.25Feb.2015.
<http://madamenoire.com/189635/isitjustmeordoesihaveaboyfriendmean
nothingtothirstymen/>.
Gustafson,Kristi."ARA:IsItWrongIDon'tRefertoHerasMy'girlfriend'?"OntheEdge.29
July2010.Web.25Feb.2015.<http://blog.timesunion.com/ontheedge/araisitwrongi
dontrefertoherasmygirlfriend/30009/>.
Harvey,Steve,andDeneneMillner.ActlikeaLady,ThinklikeaMan:WhatMenReallyThink
aboutLove,Relationships,Intimacy,andCommitment.NewYork:Amistad,2009.Print.
Meltzer,Martisa."IsNoStringsAttachedSexEverEnough?"Womenshealthmag.com.23Nov.
2013.Web.25Feb.2015.<http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sexand
relationships/nostringsattached
Wood, Nancy. Essentials of Argument. Upper Saddle River: Pearson / Prentice Hall, 2006.
Print.

Macias, Olige