Aguilar 1

Freddy Aguilar
Professor Ditch
English 113B
19 February 2015
A Radical Experience
When I was fifteen years old, I went through the worse time of my life. I remember it like
if it was just yesterday. I had sores, hives, and swelling all over my body. I would stare at the
symptoms I had and felt unloved and hideous because of the way I looked physically. However,
one day as I was in the hospital, I looked up to the sky with tears coming down my eyes and
desperately cried out to God and said, If you are real, take me out of this hospital bed. To
some, an experience like this may seem phony and absurd, but to me, a culture such as this
allowed me to overcome a trial in which I did not have any hope, in fact this process taught me
to put others before myself and the importance of having a real relationship with God.
A person never knows when a trial is going to come their way. I had no idea that I would
have been diagnosed with a chronic illness my sophomore year of high school. In fact, that was
the last thing on my mind. At the time I was part of the lacrosse team and really enjoyed playing,
but when this happened to me, my life collapsed. Despite that, I was able to remain steadfast
even though I felt physically repulsive. Not only did I remain steadfast but their was this hope
inside of me knowing that I was going to get better. The reason why is because when I was in the
hospital, I would get dreams of me being in church in my younger days. They were great
experiences that I would have and how just being around that culture gave me a sense of worth.
From of the symptoms I had, it created a low self esteem inside of me. I would value

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myself as someone who was unimportant and ugly. For instance, some days when I was home. I
would go to the grocery store with symptoms all over my face and people would look at me
intentionally. If their was a group they would even point their fingers towards me and with a
frightened look. According to Jackson, Glen and Williams, The self is something that has a
development; it is not initially there, at birth, but arises in the process of social experience and
activity(Mead p.135). In other words, Mead believes that developing your self does not come
from the moment you are born, but it is something that emerges from personal experiences. In
this case, the circumstance that I went through developed me in many ways. Not only did I feel a
sense of worth, but this action cultivated my identity and showed me that I am loved. That even
though I may have looked differently than others, I was convinced that God does not look at the
outward appearance that men look at, but at the heart. Later on Jackson and Williams state that
a persons identity as a mother or father is shaped through communication with a spouse or
children (134)
In a country like America, most people want things done their way. They usually never go
out of their way for helping someone out and seemingly do things for themselves. In fact, putting
someone elses interest before your own is difficult. It requires humility and love and not
everyone can do that. Very often, some people will do things like this expecting a reward in
return. However, when you put others before yourself you are demonstrating what love and
humility look like. The reason why some people do this including myself is because we live
according to a passage in the bible that says, There is no greater love than to lay down ones life
for ones friends (John 15:3). Johns point is that not everyone would say that they would
sacrifice their life for someone else. Or even do something for a person that does not benefit

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them in any possible way. For example, if a little kid was cold and did not have a sweater
because he forgot it but asks his older brother who remembered to bring it and the older brother
gives his sweater to the younger brother. An example such as this is something that I have
learned to do. Not because I have to or am forced to, but because living like this has been a
culture that I have learned from my brothers and leaders from my church that I have personally
adapted. Its of treating everyone with honor and respect. For example, a week ago, a person was
on her way to her class and as she opens the door someone accidentally knocks over all of her
papers to ground without even helping her. From a distance, I saw this happen and helped her
pick up all her papers. As a result, I was late to class and missed the beginning of the lecture.
However, doing little things like this is considered putting others before you. It does not
necessarily have to be something big. Putting others before you can start with the little things.
Having a real relationship with God is much more than just going to church every Sunday
and raising your hands while the worship music is going on. When a person is in love with their
wife or girlfriend they will do whatever it takes for them. That is the reason why they are in a
relationship because they are committed and have a covenant with one another. Having a
relationship with God is actually very similar to this. For instance, with a girlfriend, a man can
invest hours speaking to her on the cell phone or in person. They constantly want to take her out
and buy her the best jewelries, clothes, and accessories. In the same way that a man does that for
a woman, we can also do that with God, but instead of buying him things. We invest our time in
praying and reading the bible. According to Simon Dein and Kenneth Pargament, Prayer then
serves important biopsychosocial purposes in ways that protect and preserve the individuals
understanding of and relationship with God. (244) Basically, Dein and Pargament are saying

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that prayer is a key fundamental in having a relationship with God. In other words, having a
relationship with God means that a person who is in love with God reads the bible and prays not
because he is forced to, but because he really enjoys it and wants to get closer with God. A
person who prays and reads the bible means that they have intimacy with God.
Just as a wife and husband have intimacy, it is the same with God. In fact, a person like
that lives wanting to please God in every possible way and is why he spends time talking with
God and reading the bible. That day that I was in the hospital, distressed and in need for
someone. After I finished saying those words, I felt someone embrace me. It was not my parents
or relatives, but it was Jesus. I felt him comfort me. Just as a mother grabs her daughters hands as
she learns to walk and not let her fall. I felt Jesus do that with me. Two days later, all the
symptoms were gone and I was able to go home. That day I was miraculously healed and was
able to see that Jesus is in unfeigned God. In fact, this is the reason why I am so passionate about
Jesus and why I pray and read the bible. Not only that, but according to Margaret M. Paloma
Nearly nine out of ten Americans are said to engage in prayer at least on occasion (145). In
other words, people all of over the world pray, but very few of them have a relationship with
God.
In his book Rhetoric for Radicals, Gandio states,We are born into a society that longs for
the reward of wealth and fame (28). For me overcoming an adversary was what I longed for.
That is what taught me to put other before me and to have a real relationship with God. And now
I finally have that. So if you are going through a crisis whether it be an illness, financial crisis,

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death in the family, suicidal thoughts, know that there is hope. It is not through me but through
Jesus who loves and cares for us.