Dick Whittington & His Cat

Act 1
MUSICQ1: OVERTURE/INTRO

Prologue

(Fairyland)

As the lights come up on Fairyland, we are greeted to the sight of FAIRY

BOWBELLS in her majestic glory.
FAIRY:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and welcome to Fairyland.

Its so exciting, dont you think? Its magical, glittery and grand.
In case you dont already know, my name is Fairy Bowbells, yes indeed
My job is to help tell this glorious tale and move it along with speed.
In old London Town, theres a young boy named Dick Whittington
Hes searching the streets paved with gold
Hes a brave boy, courageous and very bold.
But alas, our young Dick will have no luck
The streets arent paved with gold for thats just a myth
It does indeed suck, doesnt it, boys and girls? (Audience response)
However, if our hero manages to end up
In the right place at the right time
He shall be alright and become Lord Mayor with the clocks chime.
Now, I cant stand here all day, wittering on at you
Theres far too much to be done.
So off well go to London Town with the dawn and the rising sun.

The lights fade into London Town.

Scene One

(London Town)

As the lights rise on London Town, we see the VILLAGERS and ALDERMAN
FITZWARREN, who is looking very splendid.
MUSICQ2:BRING
BRINGME
MESUNSHINE
SUNSHINEINTRO
INTRO
MUSICQ2:
ALDERMAN: Roll up, roll up, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to good old London
Town where I, the one, the only, Alderman Fitzwarren am willing to
grant the citizens of my humble town a fifty percent reduction in my
store for one day and one day only. So pop on by Fitzwarrens Fantasy
Store and see what delights await before your very eyes.
ALICE FITZWARREN enters.

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Father, youre looking very jovial today. I havent seen you this happy
since that wicked King Rat vanished from the land.
ALDERMAN: Life is becoming perfect once more, my dear. I have my dream job, my
own store and a beautiful daughter. What more could I wish for?
ALICE:

MUSICQ3:BRING
BRINGME
MESUNSHINE
SUNSHINE
MUSICQ3:
ALDERMAN: BRING ME SUNSHINE IN YOUR SMILE
BRING ME LAUGHTER ALL THE WHILE,
IN THIS WORLD WHERE WE LIVE
THERE SHOULD BE MORE HAPPINESS
SO MUCH JOY YOU CAN GIVE
TO EACH BRAND NEW BRIGHT TOMORROW.
ALL:

MAKE ME HAPPY THROUGH THE YEARS,

NEVER BRING ME ANY TEARS
LET YOUR ARMS BE AS WARM AS THE SUN FROM UP ABOVE
BRING ME FUN, BRING ME SUNSHINE, BRING ME LOVE.
BRING ME SUNSHINE IN YOUR EYES
BRING ME RAINBOWS FROM THE SKIES
LIFES TOO SHORT TO BE SPENT HAVING ANYTHING BUT FUN
WE CAN BE SO CONTENT IF WE GATHER LITTLE SUNBEAMS.
BE LIGHT-HEARTED ALL DAY LONG,
KEEP ON SINGING HAPPY SONGS
LET YOUR ARMS BE AS WARM AS THE SUN FROM UP ABOVE
BRING ME FUN, BRING ME SUNSHINE, BRING ME LOVE
BRING ME FUN, BRING ME SUNSHINE, BRING ME LOVE!

After the merry dance, the VILLAGERS return to their business and ALDERMAN and
ALICE continue.
ALDERMAN: Wholl be first to step into Fitzwarrens Fantasy Store?
ALICE:
I will father.
ALDERMAN: My dear, you already live there.
ALICE:
Oh, well, Im sure we can find somebody wholl come and look at a nice
bargain.
ALDERMAN: I wonder who
MUSICQ4:DAME
DAMESARAH
SARAHSPONGES
SPONGESENTRANCE
ENTRANCE
MUSICQ4:
SARAH enters in spectacular dame fashion, in an extremely overlarge frock.
DAME:

Hello mums and dads, boys and girls. (Audience response) Come on,
Im sure you all can do much better than that. Hello mums and dads,
boys and girls. (Audience response) I tell you what, lets shake it up a
bit. Hello boys and girls. (Audience response) Fantastic, right up there
with the best of them. Now for the grown-ups. Hello mums and dads.
(Audience response) Oh dear, you are sounding very repressed
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tonight. But never mind, onwards and upwards. My name is Sarah

Sponge, middle name: Victoria! I work in Fitzwarrens Fantasy Store
baking all the delicious treats youll find there. Im the Mary Berry of
panto-land!
ALDERMAN: Ive sampled many of her delights.
DAME:
Of course you have, you cheeky thing!
ALDERMAN: Now Alice, could you please go and fetch me my accounts?
ALICE:
Yes father, certainly. (She exits)
ALDERMAN: Now Sarah, we need to have serious words.
DAME:
Oh lord.
ALDERMAN: Its about Jack. I feel lately that hes starting to become complacent.
DAME:
Well the clue is in the name Alderman.
ALDERMAN: What do you mean?
DAME:
He is called Idle Jack, sir. Idle. Idle Jack.
IDLE JACK bounds on thinking hes been called.
IDLE JACK: Who called for me?
DAME:
Nobody dear. We were talking about you instead.
IDLE JACK: Oh thats really nice isnt it? Talking about somebody behind their back.
I have feelings, you know.
DAME:
Ooo, feelings for me?
IDLE JACK: Sorry to disappoint you Sarah but not those type of feelings.
DAME:
Rejected!
ALDERMAN: If we could get back down to business. Jack, whats going on lately?
Hardly any of the store jobs are getting done.
IDLE JACK: Well, you see, the thing is Im always so tired.
ALDERMAN: You do realise that if you dont buck up your ideas, youll be out.
IDLE JACK: I understand Alderman. Ill try my best.
ALDERMAN: Very well my boy. I best be off and see whats taking Alice so long with
my accounts. (He exits)
IDLE JACK: Sarah, theres something Ive been meaning to tell you.
DAME:
Righto.
IDLE JACK: Well, Ive been wondering whether I should get myself a new job.
DAME:
Righto.
IDLE JACK: So I was thinking I might put in an application for Tesco.
DAME:
Righto.
IDLE JACK: Sarah, why do you keep saying righto?
DAME:
Because youre stood on my right toe.
IDLE JACK: Oh, sorry Sarah.
DAME:
You will be if youre not careful. Now, have you done your chores?
IDLE JACK: What chores?
DAME:
Oh deary me. Jack, you were supposed to hoover the store as well as
ensuring that the bins are put out. Its collection day.
IDLE JACK: Well, do you want the true answer or the false answer?
DAME:
(To audience) He really is silly at times. (To Jack) I want the false
answer.
IDLE JACK: Really?
DAME:
No you fool! Of course I want the truth.
IDLE JACK: Well, I just couldnt really be bothered.
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DAME:

Its a good job your names Idle.

DICK WHITTINGTON enters.

DAME:
DICK:
DAME:
DICK:

DAME:
DICK:
DAME:

Oh look, a newcomer to the town! (Approaches DICK) Hello there

handsome.
Oh hello. Im Dick.
Youre a what?
No, my dear lady, my name is Dick Whittington and Ive come to
London as Ive heard the streets are paved with gold. Ive come to get
my fortune.
Im sorry, my lad, but the streets arent paved with gold. Its just a wise
old tale.
So Ive come all this way for nothing?
Im afraid so.

The CAT enters, skulking around followed by ALDERMAN and ALICE. ALDERMAN
is chasing the cat.
ALDERMAN: Whats this cat doing here? Get away, vermin!
ALICE:
Father, its only a cat. Its not vermin. More like the rats!
ALDERMAN: Ah but I still dont like it sniffing around my store. It could do any
manner of things.
DAME:
All youve got to do is treat it kindly and itll treat you kindly back.
ALDERMAN: Whos this boy whos just strolled in?
DICK:
Im Dick Whittington. Nice to meet you sir.
ALDERMAN: Very good my boy. Now, does anybody know what can be done about
this cat?
IDLE JACK: Maybe its lost and cant find its way home. It makes me feel ever so
sad.
DAME:
Pull yourself together.
ALICE:
I reckon we need to find out who the cat is.
DICK:
(Approaching the cat) Hello.
CAT:
Meow.
DAME:
Whats that supposed to mean? I dont speak Cat-anese.
DICK:
Whats your name?
CAT:
Meow. Meow.
DICK:
Barry?
CAT:
Meow. Meow.
DAME:
Mildred?
CAT:
Meow. Meow.
IDLE JACK: Spartacus?
CAT:
Meow. Meow.
ALDERMAN: Polly?
CAT:
Meow. Meow.
ALICE:
Its a name similar to Polly. Shake the head for male, nod for female.
CAT:
(Shakes his head)
ALICE:
A male cat. How about Terry?
CAT:
Meow. Meow.
ALDERMAN: Were getting closer.
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DICK:
CAT:
DICK:
DAME:
DICK:
CAT:
DICK:
IDLE JACK:

Tommy?
Meow. Meow.
His names Tommy. Tommy the cat.
Well, we got there in the end!
And I think Tommys lost. Look at him! Very thin and frail.
Meow. Meow.
There must be something we can do.
Why dont we feed Tommy up inside and then we can send him on his
way?
DAME:
An excellent idea. Ill give you that one Jack. Top form!
ALDERMAN: Whats news with you Dick? What lies ahead for you?
DICK:
I cant head home now. Ive come so far. I guess Ill have to find
somewhere to stay for tonight. I best head off before it gets dark.
ALICE:
Wait! Im sure Dick can stay with us here at the store? What do you
say, father?
ALDERMAN: Ill think about it.
ALICE:
Oh please father. Go on. It cant do any harm, surely?
ALDERMAN: Very well. Dick, you may stay at the store however youll have to find a
place to rest your head. On one of the counters or something. Also, Im
looking for an apprentice. I think youd be perfect for the job, Dick.
DICK:
Are you sure Alderman?
ALDERMAN: Indeed else I wouldnt have suggested it.
DICK:
Very well, Ill take it!
Theres a flash and KING RAT appears surrounded by his villainous rat gang.
KING RAT: Bow and grovel, bow and grovel. I said bow and grovel!
DAME:
Excuse me, King Rat, I thought youd disappeared from the land. Or
should I say, banished.
KING RAT: Did you really think youd keep me away for this long? Your simple
feeble minds arent a match for I, King Rat, am the greatest of them all.
DICK:
Whos King Rat?
ALDERMAN: The most evil rat this side of London. Always threatening to devour the
inhabitants of the town as well as ensuring that both him and his rat
gang overthrow London Town and take control of the population.
KING RAT: And how easy it shall be. Not before very long, I shall take control and
become Lord Mayor of London and all peasants will be in my power.
DAME:
Id rather die than be under your control King Rat.
ALICE:
Youre a wicked rat who deserves punishment for the terrible things
youve put upon our land.
KING RAT: Oh boo hoo! Whilst you think, by shouting at me, that youll get your
own way, I can safely say you wont, not while Im around.
DICK:
Then well just have to get rid of you wont we? One way or another.
KING RAT: Is that a threat, young boy? If youre feeling so brave as to take me on
then tell me your name.
DICK:
Im Dick Whittington. I came to London to seek my fortune. Id heard
the streets were paved with gold but found that to be untrue. However,
Im going to be sticking around for a little while longer and I shant let
you terrorise these poor people.
KING RAT: Oh yeah? And who exactly is going to defeat us?
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DICK:

Tommy! Chase after them.

MUSICQ5:RAT
RATCHASE
CHASE
MUSICQ5:
There is a rat chase as TOMMY chases KING RAT and his gang. The others watch
in amazement at the scene unfolding before them.
KING RAT: Quick, my lovely rats, scarper!
KING RAT and his rat gang disappear rather quickly. TOMMY bounces back onto
stage with a hearty meow.
DICK:
Well done Tommy.
DAME:
Youve certainly done us proud.
ALDERMAN: What an extraordinary cat to chase off all those nasty creatures!
Tommy can definitely say with us here at the store for as long as he
needs to. Now I best be heading off, theres lots to be done today to
ensure all goes swell. Tommy, if you follow me I can give you a good
feed. Tata my peeps!
ALDERMAN exits followed by TOMMY bounding along behind him.
DAME:
ALICE:
DAME:

Well I guess I should make a start with some baking.

Oh Sarah, what are you going to be baking today?
My original Victoria Sponge, my dear. After all, Im named after it. I
should have known Id grow to be a lover of cakes.
IDLE JACK: And I can tell you enjoy eating them as well.
DAME:
You watch it, Jack. Youre going the right way for a smacked bottom.
As for that remark, you can come and be my assistant for the day.
Right, Ill see you all later.
SARAH and JACK exit leaving DICK and ALICE by themselves.
ALICE:
DICK:
ALICE:

DICK:
ALICE:

DICK:
ALICE:

So, Dick, how are you finding London?

Its not a bad place. Not bad at all. However, if Im being honest, I was
hoping for it to be a bit more exciting.
Dont worry Dick. With Fitzwarrens Fantasy Store opening today, Im
sure London is going to be bustling with both people and activities.
There was something I wanted to tell you as a matter of fact.
Certainly Alice.
I dont know its like theres this strange connection between us as if
weve known each other all our lives, but we cant have done for weve
only just met. I felt it when I first laid eyes on you.
Thats weird Alice. Ive got the same feeling.
I think this could be the start of something very special.

MUSICQ: SOMETHING I NEED

DICK:

I HAD A DREAM THE OTHER NIGHT

ABOUT HOW WE ONLY GET ONE LIFE
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WOKE ME UP RIGHT AFTER TWO

STAYED AWAKE AND STARED AT YOU
SO I WOULDN'T LOSE MY MIND
AND I HAD THE WEEK THAT CAME FROM HELL
AND YES I KNOW THAT YOU COULD TELL
BUT YOU'RE LIKE THE NET UNDER THE LEDGE
WHEN I GO FLYING OFF THE EDGE
YOU GO FLYING OFF AS WELL
AND IF YOU ONLY DIE ONCE I WANNA DIE WITH
YOU GOT SOMETHING I NEED
IN THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING ME
AND IF WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY)
I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU, YOU)
YOU GOT SOMETHING I NEED
IN THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING ME
AND IF WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY)
I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU)
ALICE:

LAST NIGHT I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH, YEAH

CALL IT OUR TEMPORARY CRUTCH, HEY
WITH BROKEN WORDS I'VE TRIED TO SAY
HONEY DON'T YOU BE AFRAID
IF WE GOT NOTHING WE GOT US (YEAH)
AND IF YOU ONLY DIE ONCE I WANNA DIE WITH
YOU GOT SOMETHING I NEED
IN THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING ME
AND IF WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY)
I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU, YOU)
YOU GOT SOMETHING I NEED
IN THIS WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE THERE'S ONE KILLING ME
AND IF WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY)
I WANNA DIE WITH YOU (YOU, YOU, YOU)

BOTH:

AND IF WE ONLY DIE ONCE, (HEY)

I WANNA DIE WITH YOU!

The lights fade down on DICK and ALICE as they share a loving hug.

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