Ramona Wolfgramm

Unit 4
Essay #2

Question: OLDER PERSON INTERVIEW

Sit down with an older person (Grandparent type) and ask them to talk about the
positive and negative aspects of family life in the "olden" days. Some interesting
areas to explore might be the role of women in the family, views on the child's role
in the family, the family's view of divorce and divorced people, their perceptions of
people who chose to stay single, or any other topic that seems pertinent.
Summarize your conversation.

I had the opportunity to sit and talk with my grandma Seta who is now 87
years young. I sat and asked her what it was marriage was like in the islands. It was
very common to be married at a young age. Usually marriage was arranged or
approved by your mehikitanga (your fathers oldest sister) In those days if you
wanted to get married, your parents, mainly your father would tell his oldest sister
that you want to get married. If she didnt like the guy or his family she would tell
your father that she did not approve. Usually the mehikitanga would arrange for
who she would want her nieces and nephews to marry. Unfortunately, it did not sit
well with a lot of young people back then. A lot of elopement was common in those
days. My paternal grandparents were arranged to be married by both parents.
Anthropologists tell us that most people in traditional cultures do not consider love
the basis for their entry into marriage. (Strong & Cohen 2014, pg. 275) My
grandma agrees and said that arranged marriage back then was not based on love
but rather what your family members thought would be best for you and the rest of
the family.
The role of women in her time were strictly to care for the children. Cook
dinner and make sure that the children are educated, and most importantly taught
about god. Women in that time, were well mannered and took care of themselves.
They dressed very modestly, and NEVER smoked. That was looked down upon. Only
the men smoked and drank. The women were very well respected too. By their
children, siblings, and husbands. The childs role in the family was simply to do their
chores, which in those days were to tend to the horses and animals, going to the
ocean and fish either with their father or other male figure. Life back then was
simple, and everything was to be prepared before Sunday. In her time she
mentioned that Sunday they never shopped, or played anything. All the stores were
closed and you had to make sure that you had everything needed as far as food,
and ironing your clothes for church. Sunday was only dedicated to going to church
service. No TV, music, games etc the woman was to make sure that all of the
preparation was done before then.

Divorce was something that never happened in her time. If it did happen, it
was looked down upon. They really believed that once you are married, that is it.
You dont marry anyone else. Unless in some cases abuse. My grandma said that
back then it was hardly heard of for a man to hit a woman. Men respected the
women, and if for some reason someone was crazy enough to put his hands on a
lady he would seriously be beaten up almost to point of being left for dead. Divorce
rarely happened in her time. Now in her time if you were not married by the age of
21, the people in your village would think that something is wrong with you, or they
would constantly nag you about why you are not married. She thought it was hard
too, to find people who were still single at that age. Especially when in her time,
arranged marriage or eloping happened quite often.

Reference List:
Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience: Intimate
relationships in a changing society (12th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.