9/22/2015 Agenda!

Learning Target: I can correctly identify

and fix redundancy in my writing.

Brain Buzzer: What is redundancy? Give an

example.

1) FINISHING FROM YESTERDAY

2) Review: Locating redundancy in writing and
fixing it.

3) You try it.

4) Coordinate adjectives 101
5) You try it.

FINISHING FROM YESTERDAY:

Write one 4 sentence paragraph that

follows the NTSSTS principle.

You try it review

*Sarah was hungry.
*She ate fifteen hot dogs at lunch.
Make the above sentences into a
compound sentence and a complex
sentence.

Redundancy can happen in many forms.

Yesterday we talked about redundancy at
the beginning of sentences.
I think I love her. I think shes so hot. I
think Im going to lose my mind when I
see her in class today. I think I want to
marry her

However, redundancy can happen in the

middle of sentences too.

Heather whispered quietly in the library.

You dont need to describe whispered

with the word quietly. Its
redundant.
The meaning of whisper involves
something done quietly.

The dishonest man cheated on the

college exam. He wasnt truthful at all.

Dishonest = wasnt truthful.

No need to say it twice.
Thats being redundant.

The boy shouted and hollered on the

playground.

Shouted is the same thing as hollered.

Dont need to say it twice in the same
sentence.

The huge giant towered over me.

Giants are huge. No need to be

redundant.

Kids sometimes use adjectives to

describe nouns in the same way. This can
also lead to redundancy.
The plump fat cow mooed at me.

My dirty, unclean room annoyed my

mother.
Dirty and unclean are the same thing.

You try it
Redundant or not?
1) The teacher screamed loudly at the
principal.

2) John bought a new glistening,

sparkling car in his dream.

3) The slippery, newly-shined floor

caused problems for the students.

4) The new, unused marker lay on the

floor.

5) The dead grass was surprisingly soft

on my feet.

6) The old, ancient teacher needed to

retire yesterday.

7) The wet water drenched my clothes.

8) The grumpy and cranky troll

frightened me.

9) My intimidating father scolded me

for missing my curfew twice in a row.

10) The speakers buzzed in my ears.

Once you establish that the two

adjectives are not redundant, you need to
make sure you punctuate them correctly.
Heres the rule:

Deciding when a comma is necessary

If two or more adjectives are coordinate, a
comma is used to separate them to provide
clarity. If you can replace the comma with
the word and and reverse the order of the
adjectives, the comma is necessary.

Example 1 (CORRECT):

Slippery, treacherous roads are common after a big snowfall.

Slippery and treacherous roads are common after a big

snowfall.

Treacherous, slippery roads are common after a big

snowfall.

Example 2 (INCORRECT):

Shannon loves wearing pink nylon sweaters in the winter.

Shannon loves wearing pink and nylon sweaters in the

winter.

Shannon loves wearing nylon, pink sweaters in the winter.

More Examples:

*The shiny red sports car zoomed down

the street.
The shiny and red sports car zoomed
down the street.
That sounds dumb, so drop the comma.

*The hot, windy day irritated me.

The hot and windy day irritated me.
That sounds ok, so keep the comma

You try it.Do the

coordinate adjectives need a comma or
not????

1) The tall slender man walked

through the park.

2) The sticky yellow glue dripped on

arm.

3) The evil brown snake hid in the

garden.

4) The old dusty keyboard had

smoke billowing from it.

5) The football team wore shiny

black helmets.

6) The moldy gross paper fell from

the students desk.

7) Kevin wore a flashing circular

button on his jacket.

8) The magical colorful sunset sent

chills up my spine.

You try it.

Write two sentences with coordinate

adjectives that should have a comma.
Write two sentences with coordinate
adjectives that should not have a
comma.