READING OTHERS LIKE

BOOKS
Preston Bickle

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isnt said.

-Peter Drucker

COM 122 Section 18

Perceptual observations of non-verbal
11-12-2015
communications

1 Reading Others
If pictures are worth a thousand words, then body language is a novel. Unspoken
communication makes up an overwhelming majority of the messages we convey on a daily basis.
We can pass through an entire day and not say a single word, and yet we will still say more than
we think we are revealing about ourselves. The other side of this coin is the perception of body
language and non-verbal cues. It truly is a language in itself, and must be studied and learned in
order to know how to respond and communicate. Perception is key. You want to be in control of
the conversation, and knowing what the person is expressing will give you the clues needed to
fully understand what they want you to know. In reality, everyone wants to be understood, even
if they play hard to get or dont say anything. What you do plays an even greater role in the
workplace. Accurately reading and giving correct non-verbal cues will give you an advantage
because you will know how to respond to any situation. While meditating upon this principle, I
discovered two key articles that express techniques that have been proven effective in the
workplace. The first article discussed the evolution of the non-verbal model, SOLER to
SURETY, and the second covers key points that apply directly in the workplace. I will first
expand upon the model, reflect on the key workplace non-verbal cues, and then synthesize the
two concepts.
The SOLER model was first implemented in 1975 by Gerard Egan at the Loyola
University of Chicago. It focuses on five key points: Squarely sitting with your client,
preferably opposite them. Open posture invites the client to be more engaged and say more.
Lean towards each other demonstrates interest in what the client is saying. Eye contact
shows engagement and undivided attention. To clarify on this point in particular, this is not
staring someone down, peering into the depths of their soul. It involves actively breaking contact
at correct moments and demonstrating active interest. Relax completes the acronym and

2 Reading Others
emphasizes authenticity in your stance. Egan stresses being in a relaxed state to show the client
your genuine connectedness and empathy. This was widely accepted as a viable non-verbal
strategy, especially among nurse-patient relations. This is what caught my attention about this;
connection and communication between total strangers. Patients usually are not very trustworthy
of nurses and doctors, so those first moments are crucial to gaining patient trust. This system
proved to be quite effective, until Theodore Stickley improved upon it in 2011. He came up with
the following acronym: SURETY
Surety is described as feeling certain or secure about something. Stickleys model
certainly provides a feeling of this. SURETY is the mnemonic for his theory. Sit at an angle
to the client is the first part, versus squaring up to the person. This displays a less aggressive
approach which is much more comfortable for both parties. Uncross legs and arms is the
second part of this. Keeping an open body shows an open mind and a willingness to listen.
Relax is found in both models, but note the placement. Relaxing gives people a sense of ease
and a willingness to trust. Here, Stickley conflicts with Egan on the idea of leaning forward.
Leaning forward may help, but it is an unnatural position and difficult to maintain. Eye contact
is critical here as it was before. This demonstrates engagement and undivided attention. After
eye contact Stickley breaks off from Egan by bringing up touch. Touch is a key human
element, and the proper, professional application of this will help facilitate a more valuable
communication. Stickley declares that, Respectful use of touch can communicate compassion,
love, empathy and understanding. (Stickley , 2011) The final point in Stickleys model is Your
intuition. Assessing situations and perceiving non-verbal cues will carry a message much
further than simply using these techniques in a robotic fashion. Every situation must be assessed
to see how to utilize these tools in the most profitable manner.

3 Reading Others
The business world, especially the workplace, is an evolving environment of non-verbal
cues. In March 2013, Forbes released an article expounding upon the importance of nonverbal
cues in the workplace. I want to highlight a few of the cues that this article talks about. The first
one I want to address is handshakes. A good handshake communicates confidence, positivity, and
equality. This also helps establish trust between the two parties, reflecting back to Stickleys
model regarding, Touch. The Forbes article addresses the importance of dressing appropriately.
One phrase that stuck out to me was, dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I find
that this is very important in the business world, especially in presentations. The Forbes article
also discusses giving your full attention to your client. This is obvious. Both Egan and Stickleys
models stress the importance of giving full attention, but by utilizing multiple methods.
These two articles proved to be the theory and the application of good non-verbal
communication. They also give insight into the importance of reading others and how to be read.
We all give off cues, and if we learn how to control said cues, we can better reflect our true
messages. I find it interesting the importance stressed on Touch. I never knew that you could
utilize touch in non-verbal in such a significant manner. Using safe touches, such as the hand,
shoulder and lower arm, can really help you develop trust. This plays a significant part in being
able to openly communicate with someone, especially for the first time. Dressing for the part
also gives you confidence and allows you to be more positive. Being sure of yourself can really
show your superiors that you are proactive, responsible, and ready to accept challenges. Overall,
What you say is not important, but what you do. People are always reading you, like a book, so
be sure to give a good story for them to read.

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Stickley, T. (2011). From SOLER to SURETY for effective non-verbal communication. Nurse
Education in Practice, 395-398.
Smith, J. (2013, November 10). 10 Nonverbal Cues That Convey Confidence At Work. Retrieved
November 13, 2015, from http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/03/11/10-nonverbalcues-that-convey-confidence-at-work/