Simanungkalit 1

Ferrin Simanungkalit
Professor Zack DePiero
Writing Project #2
7 December 2015
Sixteen and Pregnant
Everyday throughout high school, I would come home from school and flip on the
television in hopes of watching my shows on MTV. Usually my marathon sessions would consist
of endless amounts of snacks, pizza, and teen moms. These teen moms werent exactly sitting
beside me, rather they were the ones I was watching through my television screen. My mother
would walk in on me watching shows like 16 and Pregnant or Teen Mom. She would always
look at the screen in disgust and reprimand me for watching these shows because she believed it
was a bad influence. What aspect of teen pregnancy is a bad influence per se? Is it the fact that
these teens are still girls and too young to have little girls themselves? Is there something
neurologically different in a teen mothers brain that sets them apart from those that did not get
pregnant at an early age? These questions come from many different standpoints and disciplines
of study. Different disciplines of study can delve into deeper research as to how or why teen
pregnancies happen and these topics can be narrowed down even further in regards to race,
upbringing, gender, and other related factors. From the biological aspect, scientists can do
research and conduct studies that show how early motherhood affect the female biologically.
When disciplines such as sociology bring up teen pregnancy, the social and cultural factors that
lead to teen pregnancy can be studied. These two academic disciplines are displayed through
articles and use different rhetorical elements, such as tone, and moves, such as transitions, that
are in no way congruent to each other.

Simanungkalit 2
Biology is often defined as the study of life, in the simplest terms. When studying this
discipline, it is known that scientists are often involved in the process of conducting research. In
the biology article, there is a bar graph that provides a visual representation of the results of the
studies. The average reader that does not have a concentration in the science field is often lost in
text that can often be mistaken for another language. Since readers may not be as educated in
biology as the reader, the complex terms may seem unfamiliar. By providing a graph, the author
has displayed the results of the study in a way that makes it easier for the reader to follow. The x
and y axis have categories that are not exactly used in everyday language. The bars in the graph
represent menarche and first birth for a sample of natural fertility foragers, horticulturalists, and
agriculturalists (Kramer, 614). Terms such as those may seem very foreign to those that do not
study biology. Throughout the article, there are also a lot of numbers that describe population of
teen pregnancies. This article studied cause and effects on reproductive maturity and biological
constraints on age at first birth (Kramer, 615). A sociology article would not contain topics such
as this because sociology focuses more on the outwards and surroundings of the issues rather
than watch is going on inside of the body.
A lot of the terms in this academic source are rather complex and proper. There is no shift
in tone when reading it because it just all seems very educational and monotone. This article is
meant to be informative, so there is a lot of logos and ethos involved in it. There is a lot of
references back to a study or researcher in order to create credibility in this authors theory. Due
to the fact that this is an educational piece that is designed to teach rather than persuade, the
author does not aim to get any emotional reaction out of the reader, but rather aims to inform the
reader of the biological aspects of teen pregnancies and why this occurs.

Simanungkalit 3
Karen Kramer and Jane Lancaster, authors of the biology article, execute several moves
in order to allow the reader to understand the biological effects of teen pregnancy. The authors
first start by introducing the topic of teen pregnancy through definition. This allows the reader to
get an idea of the main topic at hand and what is to come. The authors also use a lot of transitions
to introduce a new idea. The authors use the move described as addition in the They Say, I Say
appendix. Kramer and Lancaster adds to more information and proves their theory by saying, In
fact, evidence suggests that (Kramer, 614). By also saying, evidence suggests that, the
authors are informing the readers that they are concluding something that they got from an
outcome of an experiment. The authors also introduce a different perspective that is within the
biology field. Kramer and Lancaster bring up issues of natural selection in regards to teen
mothers by introducing the sentence with from an evolutionary perspective(Kramer, 614).
By using this transition, the reader is given awareness of another standpoint in the topic. This lets
the reader know that the author is not showing bias in focusing on just one thing within the field,
but is taking into consideration all the other perspectives within the field and all other possible
arguments. Through this biological perspective, the reader is informed about the biological and
bodily aspects that are affected during pregnancy in teens.
Sociology is a study of social behavior. This can include how people act around friends,
families, and strangers. Sociology can also be studied in terms of culture as well because the
values and morals that one grows up with may affect how a person acts. Like the biology article,
the sociology article introduces the definition of teenage pregnancy, but rather than introducing
teen pregnancy through menstruation and other biological factors, the sociology article
introduces teen pregnancy in terms of social issues such as risky behaviors and poverty. Rather
than looking at the biological basis of teen pregnancy, the sociology article includes studies and

Simanungkalit 4
research regarding social factors of teen pregnancy. The studies measure and study factors such
as, difficulties in life, life changes, and problems being faced from getting pregnant. Rather than
using a bar graph from the results, the data from these studies are often recorded in a graphic
organizer. The data in the boxes include a lot of words, which are testimonies or statements that
were recorded from the participants of the studies. Although there are still some words that may
not be familiar to the average person, the sociology article is a bit easier to follow than the
biology article. A lot of the terms discussed in this article relate a lot to what people experience
in daily life, so it can be seen as relatable to the reader. As social behaviors are studied by
everyone throughout the day, one can see that it is easy to follow along to the article.
A lot of the moves in the sociology article include questions. Questions allow the reader
to ask themselves questions as they read in order to think deeper about the content.

Simanungkalit 5

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP2

Table of Textual Features
Thesis Statement
Use of Textual
Evidence from
Genres
Use of Course
Readings
Analysis
Organization/Struc
ture
Attention to
Genre/Conventions
and Rhetorical
Factors
Sentence-level
Clarity, Mechanics,
Flow

Did Not Meet

Expectations

Met
Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

Ferrin,
Other Comments
I thought that your Intro was really, really awesome
-- I was legitimately looking forward to reading it -and then it kind of totally fizzled out. You never
introduced a 3rd source and you barely used the
course readings. Also, this piece was suuuper-short
-- looks like it was under 4.5 pages. Dont you want
to maximize the allotted space to maximize your
argument, evidence, and analysis?
Here are some thoughts on how you could expand
and improve this:
-Include a lot more analysis of the kinds of
data/evidence these different sources are using and
what kinds of RQs theyre asking. Consider some of
the big pictures questions here that get at how do
these different disciplines approach this topic from
different perspectives? What was the study about?

Simanungkalit 6
What questions did they ask? What data did they
gather? How do the ways in which these researchers
went about studying this topic differ from the other
authors/researchers, and what does it suggest in
terms of the importance they're placing on their
methods?
-Think about what kind of structure/organization
would be best suited for your argument
-Working in moves more thoroughly
-In your Intro, you started out with a strong sense of
voice -- and it was great -- and then it just kind of
stopped. Pick it back up, maybe?
-Use the allotted page/space limit to squeeze out as
much hard-hitting evidence and super-smart points
as you can.
-Work in the course readings. Use them to help you
use the language of the course and to develop your
argument.
Z
5/10