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Andre Bernese
Professor Jon Beadle
English 115
September 13, 2015
Progression 1 Essay
From the time children are born, parents categorize their childrens gender by their sex.
For example, newborn baby girls are wrapped in a pink blanket and wear feminine clothing
while boys are wrapped in blue blankets and wear masculine clothing. As they grow, parents
introduce to their children what society labeled as masculine and feminine. This is brought
to light in the article No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to
Childrens Gender Nonconformity, by Emily W. Kane. In the article, Kane brings to attention
how homosexual and heterosexual parents react to their children not conforming to societal
norms. The article also brings up how society associates genders to specific traits and
mannerisms. But more importantly, the article shows how parents in todays society raise their
kids to act and behave accordingly to their sex. In the article Night to His Day: The Social
Construct of Gender, Judith Lorber discusses the role of parents in assigning gender roles to
their children. Lorber explains that gendering children at a young age is a way to organize
society and divide labor. For example, it is the social norm that females are the caregivers and
housewives while the males are seen as providers. These articles bring to light the significance of
how our genders can be influenced by how we are raised and the societal norms that we grow up
with. In my experiences, I can also relate in that my parents raised me with specific gendered
attributes.

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The development of gender identity begins early in a childs life, even as far back to
when they were born. I was born male, thus, I perform certain activities and am taught to enjoy
certain activities according to my gender because society tells me so. We are born and because of
our anatomy, are given a gender, and its because of this, we are then told to do as that gender,
what roles we have to play. From that point, we spend our entire lives correcting how we act and
behave. We do what we can to fit into whatever gender category we were assigned at birth. For
example, as children, our parents provide us with toys that associate with our gender. Toys such
as construction blocks and science playsets are aimed towards male children to help prepare
them for providing careers, whereas kitchen sets and easy-bake ovens are aimed towards female
children to shape them into proper housewives. Certain activities are also important in
developing our gender identities. Growing up, males are encouraged to participate in more
masculine activities such as football or wrestling, whereas females are more likely to participate
in a more delicate and careful activities like knitting or learning how to cook. It is because of
this, children learn to define their roles that associate to their gender and are able to recognize
which category they belong to (Devor, 37).
Besides how they are raised, how children are treated also plays a part in developing
gender identity. As Emily W. Kane states in her article No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like
That: Parents Responses to Childrens Gender Nonconformity, Along with material markers
of femininity, many parents expressed concern about excessive emotionality and passivity in
their sons (Kane, 94). Most parents treat their sons in a hardened, less emotional way. For
example, when asked about crying in public, heterosexual fathers were more concerned about
their sons acting like girls, when in fact, they were more worried about their sons seeming
weak. Society has grown to perceive men as the dominant sex, leaving women to be looked

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down upon and disrespected in all factors in life, whether it be in the work force or in general.
This is the world

we raise our children to live in and this is the world parents are preparing

their children for. Young males are taught that crying is a sign of weakness, pink is a girly
color, and that there are only certain toys that they can play with. On the other hand, girls are
taught a whole different set of societal rules. When young girls cry, they are not told to stop
crying like a girl. Instead, crying is more acceptable with young girls and their parents treat
them in a more delicate fashion. With the way parents are treating their children and teaching
them how to behave, there are still barrier of gender that divide us as a society (Kane, 95).
Once their children are born, parents guide them into the gender that associates with their
sex. This is because it is only those two genders, masculine and feminine, that they are
comfortable with. Society has made a clear division in which gender performs what task. In her
article, Night to His Day: The Social Construct of Gender, Lorber suggests that society had
created this gender division in order to form an organized way to distinguish labor. At a young
age, young children are taught which gender does the caregiving and housekeeping, and which
gender is the strong provider of the family. This is important because we see that children start
developing these social instincts starting at a very young age. From then on, those habits and
traits that children learn start to become natural to them. For example, for males, being told not
to cry and to be a man stops becoming a lesson and starts to become a way of life that they
implement each and every day. In most families, the tradition of being gendered continues on
into each new generation.
Gender roles have been perfected for ages to the point where society can clearly
differentiate between the two genders and this is because parents unknowingly encourage
gendering to their children. Gender roles will continue to be passed on to future generations until

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a change in society can be made. The only way gender identity can change in society is starting
with the children. Children slowly become members of our society at a young age when they
know what gender they are. If society can develop as a whole and learn to diminish these gender
roles, then we may truly become a genderless society.

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Works Cited
Devor, Aaron. Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender. Critical
Reading and Writing (2014): n. pag. Rpt. in Boston: Leasa Burton, n.d. Print.

Kane, Emily W. No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to
Childrens Gender Nonconformity. Critical Reading and Writing (2014): n. pag. Rpt. in Boston:
Leasa Burton, n.d. Print.

Lorber, Judith. Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender. Critical Reading and
Writing (2014): n. pag. Rpt. in Boston: Leasa Burton, n.d. Print.

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