Ramirez 1

Marissa Ramirez
Jon Beadle
English 113
December 8, 2015
Societys Expectations on Children (Revised)
Society has created these sort of rules and regulations that most people follow when
choosing ones gender. Now because of those rules and regulations it can make identifying to a
gender very complicated. Parents encourage their children to choose their own identity, but
provide them with the toys that teach males and females what each gender is specifically
expected to become. The articles From Women, Men, and Society by Claire Renzetti and
Daniel Curran and No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That by Emily W. Kane both
explain how parents will only allow their children to do and act how society expects their gender
to act, based on these societys rules and regulations. The articles also mention how society has
convinced parents that by a child simply playing with a toy that isnt made for their specific
gender it can alter their sexual orientation, and what types of behavior is expected from both a
male and a female.
From the minute a child is born they are described and expected to act a certain way
based on their gender. Society expectations of what a male and female is supposed to act like,
and how they should dress has a huge influence on how parents raise their children to decide
their own gender. Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran, in the article From Women, Men, and
Society, explain how parents will expect their children to act based on how society would
expect them to act. As Kolker and Burke (1992, pp 12-13) explain, the knowledge of sex

Ramirez 2

implies more than chromosomal or anatomical differences. It implies gender, and with it images
of personality and social role expectations. (Renzetti and Curran pg76). As parents learn the
sex of their soon to be child they began to describe how their child acts based on what society
thinks each specific gender to act. They allow society to decide the gender of their children rather
than letting their child to decide for themselves. Renzetti and Curran explain this problem to the
audience how we are allowing society to make decisions on how we are acting based on our
gender; such as what a child wears, what they play with, and how they should act. Parents
report that male infants and toddlers are fussier that female infants and toddlers; boys they say
more, are active more and easily anger more than girls. (Renzetti and Curran pg. 76). Parents
will also describe and interact in the ways that society says they should, and when the babies
dont act a way they shouldn't they are seen as different.
Another way parents are allowing society to shape the gender identity is the way they
speak to their children, and the different ways parents may react with children of different
genders. According to the article is Is gender either/or (or Something Else)? We tend to view
and describe males with words that have more masculine tones such as: dominant, stronger and
serious. Whereas Females are described with words that give out a feminine tones like feeling,
emotional, and weaker (Composing Gender pg16) . Because of those ideals of how each genders
distinctly act, parents speak to their children differently based on gender. In the article From
Women, Men, and Society Renzetti and Curran mention how parents interact with their children
of each gender differently because of these assumptions. Personally my parents speak and react
to my brothers totally different than they do with me because they assume that I am a more of a
passive person based on my gender.

Ramirez 3

Having to display the expectations of ones gender is very demanded in society. Parents
may fall into societys influences by providing their children the options and learning tools that
society allows them to be given. Society has put it into the past generations head that only girls
can play with certain types of toys and males can only play with a certain types of toys, which
causes people to think that the children that don't follow that are too masculine for a female, and
to feminine for a male. In the article No way my Boys are going to be like that by Emily W.
Kane, the author explains how parents are often scared that by letting their son play with
domesticated toys it will lead to homosexuality. that playing with toys that are meant for
girls might not indicate but rather shape the sons eventual orientation (Emily W. Kane pg. 96)
Even at a young age, it is very pushed by society that males have to constantly display their
masculinity and dominance, while females or expected to show their femininity. Fathers are
constantly avoiding female looking toys and activities for their male children because it does not
help display their sons masculinity to society.
Parents will also only allow their sons to wear certain colors and behave a certain way
because they believe if they fail to do so, it will then show a signs of femininity. Leading to
males and females being forced to display their identity by acting a certain way, or forcing
themselves to only participate in things that society says a female or a male should do. In the
article Kane mentions the statements of two heterosexual fathers, both fathers mentioned that
they would not encourage their son to wear pink or clothing that represented female heroines
because they were not girls. These parents allow society to shape the way their child is allowed
to dress and act rather than allowing them to decide for themselves. Society has also made the
way a child acts as a gender identity problem. Boys who aren't as aggressive as other boys are
seen as feminine through the eyes of society. Society often calls these boys Pretty Boys. The

Ramirez 4

same rule goes for females, if a female is seen as more aggressive they are looked at as
masculine and called a tom boy. Both females and males who act a different way than
everyone else are seen as an easy target in society because different is not accepted from people.
Television and social media also play a huge role in this problem because it often demonstrates
what society expects the perfect males or females to look like. We eventually begin to praise and
look up to these good looking people because everyone just follows along with it.
Parents are not fully allowing society to chose the gender identity of their child.
However, they are allowing the rules and regulations that society has to narrow the types of tools
and learning experiences that children need to chose their identity for themselves. Generations
through generations have allowed all of these rules and expectations to affect the way we teach
our children to identify themselves with. Difference should be accepted in society because
otherwise it is just setting up the people in our future to act the same. Imagine what the world
would've been if we didnt have the people who stood out from everyone. We need to began to
accept different in our society so that we expand and progress within ourselves and the future.
Parents that allow society to influence their children are only hurting their children. Society
should not have an impression on a persons gender identity, and a child should be able to decide
how they want to act, what they should play with, and most importantly choose what their own
gender identity is.

Ramirez 5

Work Cited Page

Renzetti, Claire, and Daniel Curran. "From Women, Men, and Society." Composing Gender: A
Bedford Spotlight Reader. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014. 76-87. Print.
Kane, W., Emily. No Way My Boys Are Going To Be Like That: Parents Responses to
Childrens Gender Nonconformity. Composing Gender: A Bedford Spotlight Reader. Boston:
Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014. 76-87. Print.