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The author of this essay is _______Samantha Edmonds

____________________________________________.

Peer Review of Essay #2


Directions: First, read the paper silently to yourself once. Then, answer the questions below.
When answering the following questions, be thoughtful, clear, and helpful. Use complete sentences and
specific examples. Feel free to make notes directly on the writers draft.

FIRST READER
Organization and Introduction
1.

2.

Organization
a. Is this draft organized in a standard pattern: an introduction, a body with supporting points
presented in a logical order, and a concluding section that summarizes and analyzes the
overall significance of the topic? Note on the paper where the organization seems to be
ineffective. Yes it is
Introduction: The first paragraph(s) should prepare the reader for the topic presented in the paper.
a. Does the introduction begin broadly and narrow to the main idea of the essay? Yes
b. Look specifically at the authors Thesis Statement:
1. Is the thesis towards the end of the introduction? Yes
2. Is the thesis narrow and well-defined? Yes
3. Is the thesis explicit or implicit? If its explicit, is the thesis too direct? No, its great!
c. At any point in the essay, do you feel lost or confused? I didnt feel lost
d. After reading the whole paper, explain whether you think the introduction effectively prepares
the reader for the discussion or not. I think it lead to the discussion

Body Paragraphs
1.

Do the body paragraphs support the thesis? Yes

2.

Is there information that does not seem relevant to the stated thesis/purpose? Yes

3.

Are outside sources used to illustrate and support the writers definition of the concept? Yes

4.

Does the writer explain his/her reasoning clearly and effectively? Yes

5.

Does one point/section logically lead to the next point? Are transitions used effectively? Yes, very well

6.

Are there any paragraphs that should be either deleted or moved to another section of the paper? Yes,
one of them is the same topic.

Conclusion
1.
2.

Does the concluding section sum upwithout being repetitivethe major points/conclusions of the
paper? Yes it does
After reading the entire essay, are the following required elements included?
Clear thesis yes
Engaging Introduction yes
Does the conclusion refer
to the introduction? Yes

Works Cited page yes

Use of Quotations and Summaries


1.

Does the author incorporate 3 4 images into the essay? Are the images appropriately sized and
inserted in logical places on the page? There is no pictures

2.

Does the writer incorporate at least one quote and/or summary from BOTH Bill Brysons essay The
Hard Sell: Advertising in America AND William Lutzs essay With These Words I Can Sell You
Anything? Yes she does

3.

Look at the first quote/summary used in the paper. Is the quote relevant/appropriate to the topic? Did
the author frame the quote or summary properly with a quotation sandwich (1. A statement that
introduces the author and identifies the title, 2. The quote itself, 3. An explanation of the quotes
meaning and relevance to the authors topic?) Yes

4.

Look at the first quote/summary used in the paper. Is the quote relevant/appropriate to the topic? Did
the author frame the quote or summary properly with a quotation sandwich (1. A statement that
introduces the author and identifies the title, 2. The quote itself, 3. An explanation of the quotes
meaning and relevance to the authors topic?) Yes

5.

Works Cited page: Is the Works Cited page formatted according to MLA Guidelines?

Yes

Style, Mechanics, and MLA Guidelines


1.

Are there any words that are clich, used too often, or meaningless?

2.

Does the writer use the second person pronoun you? If so, circle or underline or highlight it.

3.

Does the author use phrases such as I think and/or I believe? If so, draw a line through the phrase
to determine if it is necessary.

4.

MLA Guidelines
Heading yes
Page numbers in upper righthand corner no
Quotes and Summaries
o Provided Context yes

Explained yes
quote/summary
Parenthetical Citations yes
Indent block quotes 1 no
Works Cited page
o Variety of Sources
o

o
o

Alphabetized yes
Titles in quotes or
italicized yes

Correct use of
commas and periods
I think so
o

5. How near to completion is this draft?


I think she needs to clean it up a bit but it sounds very well done.