The author of this essay is Samantha Edmonds.

Peer Review of Essay #2

Directions: First, read the paper silently to yourself once. Then, answer the questions below.
When answering the following questions, be thoughtful, clear, and helpful. Use complete sentences and
specific examples. Feel free to make notes directly on the writers draft.

FIRST READER
Organization and Introduction
1.

2.

Organization
a. Is this draft organized in a standard pattern: an introduction, a body with supporting points
presented in a logical order, and a concluding section that summarizes and analyzes the
overall significance of the topic? Note on the paper where the organization seems to be
ineffective. Yes
Introduction: The first paragraph(s) should prepare the reader for the topic presented in the paper.
a. Does the introduction begin broadly and narrow to the main idea of the essay? Yes
b. Look specifically at the authors Thesis Statement:
1. Is the thesis towards the end of the introduction? Yes
2. Is the thesis narrow and well-defined? Yes
3. Is the thesis explicit or implicit? If its explicit, is the thesis too direct? Explicit the
introduction may have been a bit too forward but the rest of the essay was very well done.
c. At any point in the essay, do you feel lost or confused? No
d. After reading the whole paper, explain whether you think the introduction effectively prepares
the reader for the discussion or not. I feel like she did a good job of preparing the reader (me)
for the essay and what she was going to discuss in the essay.

Body Paragraphs
1.

Do the body paragraphs support the thesis? Yes

2.

Is there information that does not seem relevant to the stated thesis/purpose? No

3.

Are outside sources used to illustrate and support the writers definition of the concept? Yes

4.

Does the writer explain his/her reasoning clearly and effectively? Yes

5.

Does one point/section logically lead to the next point? Are transitions used effectively? All accept for
one section that was marked on the essay comments that I adjusted and attached.

6.

Are there any paragraphs that should be either deleted or moved to another section of the paper? No

Conclusion
1.
2.

Does the concluding section sum upwithout being repetitivethe major points/conclusions of the
paper? Yes
After reading the entire essay, are the following required elements included?
Clear thesis Yes
Engaging Introduction Yes

Does the conclusion refer

to the introduction? Yes

Works Cited page Yes

Use of Quotations and Summaries

1.

Does the author incorporate 3 4 images into the essay? Are the images appropriately sized and
inserted in logical places on the page? Yes

2.

Does the writer incorporate at least one quote and/or summary from BOTH Bill Brysons essay The
Hard Sell: Advertising in America AND William Lutzs essay With These Words I Can Sell You
Anything? Yes

3.

Look at the first quote/summary used in the paper. Is the quote relevant/appropriate to the topic? Did
the author frame the quote or summary properly with a quotation sandwich (1. A statement that
introduces the author and identifies the title, 2. The quote itself, 3. An explanation of the quotes
meaning and relevance to the authors topic?) Yes

4.

Works Cited page: Is the Works Cited page formatted according to MLA Guidelines? Yes

Style, Mechanics, and MLA Guidelines

1.

Are there any words that are clich, used too often, or meaningless? No

2.

Does the writer use the second person pronoun you? If so, circle or underline or highlight it. No

3.

Does the author use phrases such as I think and/or I believe? If so, draw a line through the phrase
to determine if it is necessary. No

4.

MLA Guidelines
Heading Yes
Page numbers in upper righthand corner Yes
Quotes and Summaries
o Provided Context Yes
o Explained Yes
quote/summary
Parenthetical Citations
Indent block quotes 1 Yes

Works Cited page

o Variety of Sources
Yes
o Alphabetized Yes
o Titles in quotes or
italicized Yes
o Correct use of
commas and periods
Yes

5. How near to completion is this draft? I feel like she is pretty much done. There are a few sentence
adjustments she could make and then she would be good to go!