Young 1

Zachary Young
Chapter 7
FHS 2400p
Positive Comments
I decided to give a close friend five positive comments for every negative comment I gave him. It
was difficult to do because I was very aware of what I was saying and was trying to not say negative
comments on purpose. It was also difficult to come up with five positive comments on the spot that would
flow with the conversation. However because I was being observant of what I was saying, I noticed I
typically would say some things that werent positive and were closer to neutral or negative than I
realized. This definitely put into perspective how much we speak without thinking first.
The individual I spoke with happened to want to talk about car engines, which I am not interested
in, but its nice to listen to him. I noticed that I wasnt talking very much to him at all except to ask
questions or agreeing with him, so I started making comments about the topic. He got a lot more into the
conversation when I started doing that, which was interesting. I realized that our friendship seemed to be
more based on similar beliefs than similar interests, as we dont enjoy many similar activities but we both
have very conservative beliefs.
Making positive comments in comparison to negative comments had a noticeable difference in
his countenance. Making positive comments seemed to encourage him to keep talking and go more in
depth on the subject, while negative comments made his comments short and brief. Sometimes a
negative comment would cause him to flare up to rebuke my comment, but most often he kept those
rebukes short and sweet. The more I made positive comments, the easier it was to make more positive
comments. Making a positive comment generally caused him to make a positive comment which I could
work off of. It was an interesting way to make conversation, I usually just listen when he talks and he
listens when I talk, its a mutually understood silence.
Our relationship is partially based off coexistence, where we may have differences but we realize
that those differences dont have to be the reason we stop being friends. Sometimes differences cannot
be resolved, so they need to be lived with (Strong & Cohen, 2014, 262). Although coexistence in the
textbook seems to be referring to marital relationships, coexistence can exist in other types of

Young 2
relationships that arent so intimate. Having a mutual respect for each other can override minor
differences in each others character that we may find flawed.

Young 3
Works Cited
Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in a
changing society (12th Ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.