The third side to my story

http://bit.ly/1KcQYET
Teotonio R. de Souza
When I published Goa to Me (Delhi, Concept Publishers, 1994) as a farewell book when I left
Goa to settle down in Lisbon in mid 1994 I had thought of a trilogy. A follow-up volume would
ensure and express my continued accompaniment of Goa, notwithwstanding the physical
distance. It could be titled Linking Goa and Portugal or vice-versa, but it came out in 2014 as
Goa outgrowing Postcolonialism. It summed up my reflections on the evolution of Goa in all
its aspects since its Liberation, against the background of its recent and more distant past.
Published and distributed by Amazon it is accessible worldwide also in digital version for a
more reasonable price.
Goa outgrowing Postcolonialism was the outcome of ongoing reflections and historical
explorations, both at the academic or research level, as well as popular level as Op-ed
columns in Goan dailies since late 2008. It was a way of expressing my conviction that
academic research should not remain closeted in ivory towers and accessible only to fellow
researchers. The general public too has the right to benefit from the research that is made
possible with public funds.
Writing as forthnightly columns has the advantage of providing time to digest and get
feedback from the readers, reducing thereby the pressures of writing a book in one shot and
without benefitting from the public response by way of corrections and suggestions. The net
result is a not a mere compilation of the published columns, but a fusion of those texts wth the
infusion of fresh linking ideas. It turns into a revised version with the additional advantage for
the readers, namely to find it all in one place, without having to hunt for the dispersed articles,
a difficult and time-consuming exercise.
After many hesitations, enhanced by uneven health, I am trying to convince myself that it is
time to put hand to the plough and move towards completing the planned trilogy, summing up
my experiences in Portugal during the past two decades or so. It is a daunting task, not unlike
the earlier two exercises, because quite a few reflections always concern individuals and
institutions that played their part in my life-experiences and could become targets of unfair
judgments and hurts. Though it is not possible entirely nor desirable that we overlook or
cover-up all unpleasant situations, it is important to achieve a balanced assessment.
Such very delicate situations and cases I could reserve for an historical novel, which normally
provides a freedom, unbound by the fetters of historical objectivity and dependence on
credible sources. In an historical novel it is customary to warn against any semblance of
persons, places or events with the reality. With that proviso one can go ahead and produce a
virtual reality.
Some of my historian friends and several others known to me have resorted to the genre of
historical fiction at the end of their careers. I can understand now the rationale behind such an
urge to complete a career that seeks truth with a work of fiction which could become

unproverbially truer than the truth. May be that I too will need to resort to such a device to
cap my nearly half a century of historical research. Several titles for that novel surge in my
mind with an anticipated excitement, but one that appeals to me most at this moment is
Passions and Choices. In it, Joaquim Rosa, the protagonist of the novel, discovers a conflict of
values, a confrontation between the demands of social dharma against the buffetings of the
inherited karma, with constant doubts if life on earth is not a journey to no destination.
Better ideas from my readers and friends are welcome and will be acknowledged.
I am writing these lines at the threshold of the new year 2016. It is usual to start a new year
with some resolutions that could serve as a MoU, or a memorandum of understanding
between me and my readers. Like any MoU it is not legally binding but is meant to carry a
degree of seriousness and mutual respect stronger than a gentlemens agreement. In this case
it does not bind my potential readers at all. It is not a Letter of Intent which binds legally, for
example, between a buyer and seller. In this present case it could be a catalyser to get myself
moving with some self-imposed deadlines.
I recall the times when I was wading through scholastic jargon. That was during my Rachol
seminary days and later at the Jnana Deepa Vidyapeeth (Pontifical Atheneum, Pune). One key
concept was about ultimate causes which guide the reflections of any philosopher. It tried to
convey that the end is first in intention though last in execution. In its erudite Latin version:
finis est primus in intentione, sed ultimus in ordine executionis.
I wish and hope that the execution will follow, even if it takes little longer than this year, but
not indefinitely longer. If a Portuguese has to promise something he adds immediately logo
se v, comparable to the proverbial English saying: We shall cross the bridge when we come
to it.