Tyler Ettner

Zack De Piero
Writing 2
22 February, 2016
Where is My Mind?
Refuge to the man is the mind, refuge to the mind is mindfulness -Buddha
Do you find inspiration in quotes? Or do you find value in concrete evidence? No matter
the type of text, looking at human issues such as mindfulness through different perspectives is a
fundamental step in the process of developing a more complete understanding of a topic through
a broad range of contexts. By identifying key concepts such as genre conventions, rhetorical
moves, and basic structure within different outlets for writing one can glean a better
understanding of the intricacies of these writing types. Further, this knowledge can be applied
towards the evaluation of topics being explored by writing in various contexts and allow a reader
to craft a holistic appreciation of an issue. A case study-analysis of articles by the UBC Medical
Journal, the Journal of Applied Psychology, and The Guardian regarding the topic of
mindfulness displays this concept succinctly. Authors across these disciplines must utilize the key
rhetorical concepts of ethos and logos as well as a variety of stylistic and structural moves in
order to frame their ideas well and convey the significance of their opinions to their unique
audiences.
Mental clarity and health are critical to our wellbeing, and the simple concept of
mindfulness is designed to help people to achieve just that. However, there are some who appear
to strongly disagree, such as the author of The Guardians article titled Is mindfulness making us
ill? Dawn Foster argues that this technique actually has the opposite effect and can wreak havoc

on ones mental health. The article at hand is aimed to employ a variety of personal anecdotes
and case studies in order to support this claim. This intimate nature of these stories displays a
critical convention of the magazine article genre, which cater to a very large target audience.
Foster takes a casual tone from the start, explaining her own experience Out of curiosity, I try
the Headspace app, but the breathing exercises leave me with pins and needles in my face and a
burgeoning terror. establishing her ethos as an authority figure with personal experience
relating to the issue. Using her own story as well as personal anecdotes of others sharing her
view enables Foster to show the logos of her argument with hard evidence that people have seen
negative effects from mindfulness practice. By building her article around personal stories and
solid scientific evidence to back up her claims, the author successfully utilizes the concepts of
ethos and logos to appeal to a casual audience that values this type of credibility. This can also be
achieved in a more formal setting, which we can observe through an article in the focused
academic field of psychology.
The Journal of Counseling and Development recently published an extensive article on this
issue, which begins with a question to the reader, Are conclusions about mindfulness entirely
conclusive? This is an interesting move by the author, as focused research papers of this type
dont typically use this type of rhetorical convention to catch the attention of readers right off the
bat. The academic journal article continues to provide a basic abstract about the exigence and
methodology of the review before proceeding with a detailed analysis of practical techniques and
their implications for the field of psychology. Structurally, the article is broken up into a variety
of topics ranging from Operational Definitions and Instrumentation Concerns to The Other
Side of Mindfulness, all of which enable the author to chunk the research findings into specific
categories and go into each of them with greater depth. The audience involved with this type of

journal article is seeking highly detailed knowledge that gets into some solid data, which the
author could only really achieve by breaking the paper up in this way. Papers in this genre must
utilize a consistent structure with distinct categories in order to achieve the necessary depth of
quality research information without overwhelming the reader with a wall of text.
Another key component of the articles structure involves the authors use strategic cause
and effect transitions which serve to provide a sense of flow and rhythm to the text. The final big
move made by the psychology researchers involves a massive effort to establish why the claims
mattered, a concept discussed in the writing piece titled, They Say, I Say: The Moves That
Matter in Academic Writing. The rhetor explicitly claims that, In this fervent intellectual
environment, being swept along without a true commitment to critically analyzing the state of
the literature can be easy. This article was meant to encourage such reflection. After a review of
the literature, there seems to be several areas in need of further exploration and clarification
(Hanley, et al. 111) near the end of the paper. Despite their concession of inadequate research on
the topic of mindfulness, researchers explain that there is a need for more information and critical
analysis of the available data is highly encouraged. Expression of this flaw is a critical part of
the authors establishment of ethos, as the scientific community values the commitment to
pursuing further knowledge and continuous application of research towards solving issues yet
unsolved. This is a common theme among articles pertaining to empirical research and its
analysis, as this information is meant to be of maximum benefit to those who apply it in their
respective fields, something which is especially important in the of medicine as well.
The University of British Columbias article, Mindfulness: What it is and How it is
Impacting Healthcare begins much in the same way as the psychology article, explicitly stating
the greater implications of the findings and giving a roadmap for the article overall in a

preliminary abstract. From there, the journal takes quite a unique approach by using an
uncommon font with different colors and sizes in an attempt to lighten the mood of the text and
help the reader connect to what they are reading. In a similar fashion to the psychology article,
the UBCMJ expresses the purpose and implications of their findings outright, Given the
potential for mindfulness to promote health and enrich the practice of medicine, its increased
utilization among patients, physicians, and the population at large is encouraged at the end of
the abstract. This move leads the reader to understanding the basic context for the piece as well
as a general outline as to where it will go from there. By helping the target audience establish this
background knowledge, it allows them to see each distinct part of the journal review in the broad
context of the concept of mindfulness in a holistic way. Further, the journal uses rhetorical
questions and various techniques to legitimize their claims, such as the concession that, while a
number of compelling models have been proposed, our understanding of these mechanisms
remains rudimentary. This is a powerful use of a template as described by the text They Say I
Say which serves to speak to the ethos of the authors. By realizing that a great deal of
information involving human health is beyond our current understanding and expressing this
concession so succinctly, the UBC researchers further establish credibility and humility which
will encourage the audience to take their findings seriously.
The perspectives of different academic fields and media outlets can have a significant impact
on many rhetorical features used to distinguish their methods of expression. One can clearly
observe the basic structural differences such as the use of abstracts and distinct categories in
academic texts instead of the ambiguous nature of the magazine articles which sprinkle personal
anecdotes and evidence randomly throughout a work. The Guardians article on mindfulness
displays this chaotic style and structure, but still uses many of the conventions found in academic

articles pertaining to the establishment of ethos and strategic use of evidence based logos in
order to better connect to the target audience at hand. This is, in fact, the entire purpose of
reporting their ideas or findings in these pieces.
The practical applications of research analysis are integral to the expansion of human
knowledge and development in all fields of study. However, the visual representation of this
content is an essential step in the process of its utilization. Take, for example, the UBCs Medical
Journal. While some texts in the medical field come across as dry and lack any sort of stylistic
elements to improve reader engagement, this text utilized a variety of fonts and colors as well as
rhetorical conventions such as leading questions and intelligent transitions in order to make the
reading more exciting. This surely has a powerful effect on its effectiveness as a knowledge base
for actual practitioners in the field who will be more likely to comprehend the findings and make
connections which could help them to implement mindfulness techniques in their patients lives.
Researchers in both of the academic articles examined took the practical application of their
findings quite seriously, as we can see by their explicit explanations of the So what, Who
Cares?
Once these authors identified their target audience and addressed the purpose and implications
of their ideas, the final step to writing effectively involved a bit of persuasion. As Laura Carroll
proposes in her work Steps Towards Rhetorical Analysis, It is important to understand what a
piece of rhetoric is asking of you, how it tries to persuade you, and whether that persuasion fits
within the context you encounter it in. The notion of persuasion is a fundamental part of all
three texts at hand, although they each go about it in slightly different ways in order to better
appeal to their specific audience. In her magazine article, Dawn Foster takes an approach that
could be considered sensationalist with her story about an individual who had a bad experience

with mindfulness practice. She claims that this woman was so traumatized that, She became
addicted to alcohol, when previously she was driven and high-performing, and believes
mindfulness was the catalyst for her breakdown continuing to explain the negative effects of
this event in great detail. While her evidence is purely anecdotal by nature, Fosters article still
achieves the persuasive effect that she desired, due to her target audience of casual readers
seeking to relate to others and learn from their experiences. While academic texts are typically
constrained to the use of empirical, quantitative data as an evidence base, pop culture outlets
such as magazines are free to use non-conventional evidence types such as personal stories and
anecdotes. This enables authors like Foster to engage their audience to a greater degree, but may
detract from the practical application of the ideas at hand. No matter the specific purpose and
execution of a rhetors work, application of literary analysis is a crucial step in crafting a holistic
understanding of an issue.

Works Cited

Carrol, Laura. Steps Towards Rhetorical Analysis Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing,
Volume 1. Parlor Press, 2010. Print. 16 Feb. 2016.
Foster, Dawn. "Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?" The Guardian. Guardian News and Media, 23
Jan. 2016. Web. 9 Feb. 2016.
Hanley, Adam W., Neil Abell, Debra S. Osborn, Alysia D. Roehrig, and Angela I. Canto. "Mind
the Gaps: Are Conclusions About Mindfulness Entirely Conclusive?" Journal of
Counseling & Development 94.1 (2016): 103-13. UCSB Library. Web. 9 Feb. 2016.
Raski, Matias P. "Mindfulness: What It Is and How It Is Impacting Healthcare." UBC
MedicalJournal 7.1 (2015): 56-59. UCSB Library. Web. 9 Feb. 2016.
So What, Who Cares? Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing, Volume 1. Parlor Press, 2010.
Print. 16 Feb. 2016.

Did Not Meet

Expectations
Thesis Statement

Met
Expectations

Use of Textual Evidence

from Genres

Use of Course Readings

X+

Analysis

X+

Organization/Structure

X-

Attention to Moves

Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors

X-

Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

X+

Other Comments

Exceeded
Expectations

Ettner,
Strong work here, man. I appreciate the effort, and I
think that it paid off. Please read through my
comments on how to re-see certain
aspects of this for your portfolio revision.
In addition to that, here are some other
thoughts:
-I want you to get much more specific into
the research and the claims of these pieces.

What specific data did they collect? Whatd

they find? Whats going to be done with
their work? I dont feel like I learned
anything new about mindfulness from a
psych or ~healthcare perspective -- help me
understand what theyre trying to teach us
about this issue. Get into the data. Get
into their RQs. What does it seem like each
perspective values with regard to
understanding this topic?
Id like you to have a more deliberate
argument at hand -- how can you tie all of
the pieces together? After reading all of
these pieces and thinking about them with
our course terms in mind (pun intended),
whats there to say Finding out what,
exactly, youre trying to convince me of
might also help you to think about what
kind of structure/organization would be
best suited to laying out that argument
from the start to the finish. You did a solid
job of describing, but I want you to move
past that and onto evaluating.
Again, though, I want to be clear: great
work here.
Z
9/10
(PS: I do want you to be happy with this A,
but I dont want you thinking that this
doesnt need work. Everybodys paper does
-- were in the business of getting our
writing as good as it can possibly be.)