Ryan Kelly

January 20th, 2016

Zack DePiero
Writing 2
Were Only Human
Everywhere we go in life, we are constantly surrounded by, what it seems to be, a never

Comment [1]: Cool title! How... *rhetorical!*

(Please excuse the ridiculously corny-but-true joke.)
Comment [2]: _Marked as resolved_

ending supply of different genres. Genres can come in many different forms. Whether it is a
science fiction teen novel or a scholastic research article, we are constantly reminded that genres create
and give life to everything that we see or read. A genre that I would like to give light to and discuss is

Comment [3]: _Re-opened_

Comment [4]: I'd like to see you work in a more
attention-grabbing hook. Since you're focus is on
human interest articles, well, what makes so human
(and thus, interesting and fallible and crazy and smart
and goofy and etc etc etc)?

human interest articles. Most human interest articles can be found in a newspaper, magazine, or an online

Comment [5]: Ryan, you've got different fonts going on

here. What's the deal?

version of the two. Human interest articles consist of a story about an obstacle or a struggle that someone

Comment [6]: _Marked as resolved_

Comment [7]: _Re-opened_

or something has to overcome. Human interest articles not only tell a story about overcoming a struggle,
but the struggle is told using anecdotes, conventions, and an appeal to emotion, that allows the reader to
connect every human interest article, regardless of the actual story, to his or her own life. Three different
human interest articles that I will be discussing are Japanese train firm goes extra mile for single
passenger (Student News Daily), Teen bowler finds himself on path of perfection toward sport's holy
grail (Tampa Bay Times), and USFSP class travels the Suwannee River for class on outdoors
leadership (Tampa Bay Times).
When first reading a human interest article, you usually read a sentence or two and think
to yourself Is this really worth my time to read? A convention that is very important when
wanting to attract readers is how you start the article. With human interest articles, most of the
time they begin with an anecdote. An anecdote is a short story that is usually told before the
start of a discussion that relates directly to the upcoming discussion (in this case the upcoming
discussion is the article). Anecdotes are designed to grab the readers attention so that they will
read the rest of the article. The article titled Japanese train firm goes extra mile for single
passenger gives a great example of how to use an anecdote in order to get the attention of the

Comment [8]: You're dropping a lot of "human interest

articles" in these 5 sentences (6 or 7x). Any way to
change it up and get some variety/spice going?
Comment [9]: Alright, Ryan, as we discussed during
office hours, I dig this thesis statement -- it works and
it's interesting. One aspect I'd like you to focus on is
the "conventions" part. Get specific. What
conventions, exactly, will you be analyzing? And
audience -- does audience have any impact here?
The more you give me early on from the get-go, the
more easily I'll be able to follow you throughout your
paper.
Comment [10]: Ryan, I'd like you to think about
condensing all of this -- I feel like you could get this
same amount of information into ~half the space/words
you're using.
Use your time/space here to get straight to the point.
Lay your argument down on me, convince me with
textual evidence/support, and then bring in your own
analysis to tell me how/why it all fits together.
Comment [11]: You already laid out the whole name
earlier, and since this is kinda long-ish, I think you
should abbreviate it somehow. You don't want to use
up all this space on repeating what you've already laid
down (at least I don't think you do).

reader. Before getting into the actual story, the article gives a background of what the title of the
article describes. It discusses how a train stops at a remote station in the far-north of Japan just

Comment [12]: You've already established this.

to cater to a single girl going to school. After giving a brief background, they discuss why that

Cut the fluff and trim the fat, my man.

short story was important to the overall picture of the article.

Comment [13]: Do the other sources use anecdotes?

You seem to have only analyzed 1 source with this
specific convention in mind.

Rhetorical features such as audience, purpose, context, style, and tone play a big part in
dissecting the exact features that make up a human interest article. The audience is those who
are the (intended or unintended) recipients of the rhetorical message (Carroll, 49). In this case,

Comment [14]: This comment is in reference to the

whole paragraph:
When I see thiseven before I start readingI think,
Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the page-long paragraph!
See if you like this metaphor:

the article caters not to one specific audience, but to all living humans. No, this article probably
wouldnt best be placed in a political section of a business magazine, but human interest articles
tailors to the emotions of a person. Everyone experiences emotions and enjoys a story of
success and overcoming a struggle. A more suitable placement for this article would be in a
magazine like People, which is a more casual magazine that has other personal stories alike.
Going hand-in-hand with the audience, the purpose of a human interest article is all about
pathos, appeal to emotion (Carroll, 53). Majority of the time when looking at human interest
articles, the pathos is directly in the tile of the article. For example, in the article about the story
of a high school bowler, the title is Teen bowler finds himself on path of perfection toward
sport's holy grail. This title gives the reader an idea of what they are about to read. Looking at
the title only and not reading the article, I would assume that this story is one that is about a boy

Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy steak. Do you

want your reader to enjoy that steak in easy-to-chew,
digestable bites? Or do you want them to start
gnawing away at whole thing in one piece (think:
zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your reader
your argument in little, digestable, one-idea-at-a-time
bits. By doing so, theyll be able to following along the
trail of your argument much easier. To relate it back to
the steak metaphor, readers need to be able to see the
different parts/pieces/bites of the argument that theyre
chewing on.
Comment [15]: This is a *LOT* to bite off for just 1
paragraph. I think you might want to divide this up
pretty thoroughly. Each one of these aspects is
"paragraph worthy."
Comment [16]: Why do you say this? How can you
back up this claim? Are there any textual clues that
you can provide?
Comment [17]: Ryan, I don't want you to speculate -- I
want you to use evidence from these sources. Win me
over with evidence.

that overcomes some sort of struggle and finds himself on a path to be one of the best bowlers
in the nation possibly. The article is purposely named that to draw in the reader. Looking at the
specific context of the article, the context is usually in chronological order. Besides being in

Comment [18]: Titles are definitely one aspect up for

"grab's" here (up for analysis, that is). However, I feel
like you might be jumping around just a little bit -- could
it be worth devoting a whole paragraph to this?

chronological order, the human interest articles vary in the way they are written. Because each
article is a narrative, it has the room to be sort of a free form of writing. A lot of the time it
almost seems as if you are reading a story from a fiction book because it simply is telling you
the story of a person or event that took place. I believe that because it seems as if you are
reading a story from a book, it pulls the reader in even more. It isnt like reading another article

Comment [19]: Based on what?

because this is a true story that actually happened to someone. I also believe thats why pathos
plays such a big role in human interest articles because since it is a true story, it gives you (the
reader) the courage and motivation to go out into the world and overcome struggles that you are
facing in your everyday life. Therefore, the style of writing is that of a fiction book (although it is
actually nonfiction) which creates a warm and comforting tone that is expressed to the reader.
As Kerry Dirk said in Navigating Genres, I noted the warm, personal style that was prevalent
through every essay; the tone was primarily conversational (Dirk, 250). Although human

Comment [20]: Help me SEE what you're seeing. Don't

tell me "about" these article; bring me up, front and
center, and help me understand what *specific
aspects* in these articles help support your argument
*and why.*

interest articles are not essays, Dirks statement does a good job in describing how a human
interest article is written.
The surface-level features of human interest articles that make it that genre specifically
is the appeal to struggle and achievement. When looking at the three article titles I chose, you
can make a connection that there is some sort of battle that the people or person will be facing.
For example, each title Teen bowler finds himself on path of perfection, Passenger train goes
extra mile for single passenger, and Class travels Suwannee River for a class on outdoors
leadership all express that there may be some sort of struggle within the story that ends up in
overcoming and achieving a goal. Another surface-level feature that provides a clue to the
genre is the exigence of a human interest article. Understanding the exigence is important
because it helps you begin to discover the purpose of the rhetoric. It helps you understand what
the discourse is trying to accomplish (Carroll, 49). When thinking about why the human interest
article is published in the first place, you can relate that directly to the exigence. The purpose of
this rhetoric is to tell a story about the overcoming of obstacles. Stories about overcoming a
struggle are historically known to be popular. For example, books such as Anne Frank or
Troy are a couple of the most popular books and their stories are about overcoming a struggle
to come out a survivor or champion on the other side. Because these stories have been such a
popular theme among books, the purpose of human interest articles is exactly the same
because they are historically known to be popular.

Comment [21]: Great! This is huge. And this ties in

within the pathos/emotional element too.
Whenever you spot a recurring thread like that -- ie,
pathos/emotion -- you should realllllly consider weaving
it into your thesis statement. Those threads are what
ties your paper together.
Comment [22]: You brought titles into the discussion
earlier and you're returning to them here. I'd like you to
focus on consolidating the pieces of your paper instead
of bringing them up "here and there."

Although human interest articles are a specific genre, the writing techniques between
each piece varies. When looking at the similarities, it is easy to realize that there is a very
causal form of writing within every human interest article. Each article is meant to be a story
and nothing like a formal essay of any sort. Another similarity that plays off of the casual tone
is, as I have been emphasizing, the use of pathos. The writing techniques used are expressing
pathos through a similar use of wording in each article. For example, in the teen bowler article
the author says "It's a thing that I might never beat for the rest of my life," he says. "I could be
on my deathbed and remember that time when I was 15 and bowled two perfect games."
Likewise, in the Suwannee River article the author says "Sitting up there on that bluff by that
bend in the river, with water all around, I couldn't help but think about all those who had been in
that same spot before me," he said. "How lucky are we to get to still enjoy it. I can't wait to come
back and show my little girl." After I read both of these quotes, I was inspired and I almost took
a step back and thought about my own life experiences. The writing techniques used have a
way of appealing directly to those emotions which make these type of articles so popular.
Genre is something that you are surrounded by and you use in your writing whether you notice it
or not. Genre allows people to determine what to write and when to write it considering the
context that it is in. As Kerry Dirk expressed We can see that more than form matters here, as
knowing what is appropriate in these situations obviously requires more rhetorical knowledge
that does filling out a credit card form (Dirk, 253). Genre allows writers to base their writing off
of conventions what makes up a genre. I believe people should be taught genre because it is
the basis of all forms of writing. Genre is created because of writing and writing is created
because of genre. Genre allows writing to be categorized and gives a much more structured
way to go about finding different writing as well. Genre is important because it sanctions writers
to be able to deeply analyze their writing into specific conventions and rhetorical features. Any
person that wants to learn writing, whether it be young or old, should learn genre. It is important
for anyone that wants to have well organized writing because it permits the expression of free

Comment [23]: There's an element of mortality here, for

sure.
I'm wondering what other conventions you can spot
here. To me, reading this textual data (which is great -I want you to use a lot more of), I felt a sense of "being
there." I could picture the area and sense the
surroundings.
Could you make a claim that this is a convention of
these pieces? Could this add a new layer to your
argument?

form writing while also being organized. As Dirk said by studying the genres that we find
familiar, we can start to see how specific choices that writers make result in specific actions on
the part of readers; it only follows that our own writing must be to be purposefully written (Dirk,
254). Genre gives writing purpose, and without purpose. what is there?

Works Cited
"Japanese Train Goes Extra Mile for Single Passenger." Student News Daily. 18 Jan. 2016. Web. 18 Jan.
2016.
Montgomery, Ben. "Teen Bowler Finds Himself on Path of Perfection toward Sport's Holy Grail." Tampa
Bay Times. 3 Dec. 2015. Web. 18 Jan. 2016.
Tomalin, Terry. "USFSP Class Travels the Suwannee River for Class on Outdoors Leadership." Tampa
Bay Times. 30 Dec. 2015. Web. 18 Jan. 2016.
Dirk, Kerry. Navigating Genres Web. 18 Jan. 2016
Carroll, Laura Bolin. Backpacks to Briefcases: Steps Toward Rhetorical Analysis Web. 18 Jan. 2016

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP1

Table of Textual Features

Did Not Meet

Met Expectations

Expectations
Thesis Statement

Exceeded
Expectations

X/X-

Use of Textual Evidence

from Genres
Use of Course Readings

Analysis

Organization/Structure

Attention to

X/X-

Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Sentence-level Clarity,

X-

Mechanics, Flow
Ryan,
Other Comments
Please read through my comments on some ways to help get
this paper to the next level. On top of some of my other
suggestions, Id like you to make friends with paragraphs -- I
want you to use them (as the writer) to help guide your
reader along.

Each paragraph should enhance your argument in a

meaningful and specific way -- I felt that, in some of your
paragraphs, there was so much information that I wasnt sure
what to take out of it and how it related back to your thesis.
You need to have thought-through reasons for
organizing/structuring your paper in the ways that you are. In
other words, each one of your paragraphs should be exactly
where it is for a SPECIFIC reason. As I was reading it, I felt
like some of the information you were providing was coming
up somewhat arbitrarily. The clearer and more purposeful of
a design that you give to your paper, the clearer your
argument will unfold (which means that your reader will be
much more likely to get it).

Lastly, and as importantly, Id like you to make as much

possible use of the textual evidence in these sources as you
can. Help me see what it is that youre seeing and that you
think is important. Convince your readers with evidence and
then explain to them how/why it supports your
argument/position.

Also, you didnt include this feedback matrix as requested,

so Im knocking off an extra -.5. Please dont hate me.

Please dont be discouraged here -- weve got a long ways to

go in the quarter, and Im 100% positive that youre going to
show me some awesome improvement in final portfolio.

Z
6.5/10