LARS
MIKE:
x
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE
LARS
MIKE:
MIKE:
LARS:
MIKE:
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Can we help you?
MIKE seems to be waiting for the WAITER to speak.
Um, | asked him if | could borrow a phone. I've had an accident down the lane
and -
PAIGE tums. MIKE sees her.
(Oh my God. Your thing... Off the news. You were on this morning
ow He Aan
Yes
That bit about cluster bombs
Right
They're evil, aren't they?
Yes../Who are you and what do you want?
Um, just a phone. Um, my van... I's gone into your gatepost. I'm very sorry, but |
just couldn't see. | came out of the corer and -
(Oh you poor thing
'm really sorry to bother you but | need to use a phone.
Have you damaged our property?
| think my van came out worse. But one of those eagle thing you've got on your
gates fell off and it may have broken its nose.
Its beak
He's bleeding
Ifyou could just let me use a phone.
From his cheek, look
| just need to call out a tow truck
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Waiter? Show him the door
Paige?
There's a phone box down by the traffic lights. | suggest you use that Woe
What?? He's cut himsetf
He's damaged our property
The man only wants to make-a phone cal
ke pads dw Core
(To the WAITER) Show him out.
No. He can make his call and sit in the warmth while he waits for help
Look, I'l go
No
| don’t want to cause -
It’s no problem
Show him out
(To PAIGE) What's the matter with you?! Waiter, take his coat
Its okay, I'll go
Show him out!
Take his coat! , D
WAIT slody wack Bk Wetel th,
(To the WAITER) Remember what you're here for and be very, very careful what idea
you do as
Why don't you join us? There's a spare place here. Take the weight off your feet
and the waiter will bring you a phone in a minute.
You've walked in on a very special party/Vouhaven'tbeen invited and Ithink oy
you should leave qué
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LARS: He's not leaving this house until we've helped him!
MIKE: Actually, I'm going
PAIGE) —Very sensible ;
LARS: NO! TAKE HIS COAT NOW
MIKE: Really, I'm -
LARS: SIT DOWN
ratte wv vie) |
PAIGE: Waiter, why don't you take the gentleman's coat before my husband has a / 2
nervous breakdown? ou PY
The WAITER removes MIKE's coat
MIKE: | only want to use a phone; I'l b V4 f
\ PAIGE = - We need drinks :
The WAITER exits
) May we know your name?
MIKE: Mike Sly,
p Wik
PAIGE: Well, Mike. I'm Paige. This is Lars, my husband ro hasn't lost his temper since put
1999
LARS: Bad luck about your van, Mike. You've got to let me look at that cut for you
MIKE! It's okay
LARS: Paige, have we got any Elastoplast?
PAIGE: No. Tonight, Mike, we're having a little pay invited a few close friends to
celebrate the successful publication of my husband's book.
LARS: Right
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