ENGL 1302

Spring 2014
Christina Burns
Parenting Styles
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs there are. Parents are not only responsible for the
safety and physical well being of a child, they are also responsible for their emotional and social
development. There are a few personality characteristics that are important to have in order to
become successful. For instance, the ability to regulate emotions, or the ability to take on
challenges, are good traits to have. To be able to develop these abilities it is important to have a
high self esteem. Self esteem is positively correlated with parenting. There are four types of
parenting styles, authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful. An authoritative
parenting style is best for developing a successful and well rounded individual.
There are many different things that influence what type of parenting style a person will
take on. One thing, that influences parenting styles, is the childs temperament. Parents with
difficult children interact less with their child and focus more on controlling their behavior.
Gender, of both parents and children, is another factor that influences parenting styles (Jabeen
97). Parenting goals also shape parenting styles. There are two types of parenting goals, childcentered, and parent-centered. Child-centered goals encourage independence, which is key in
developing self esteem. Parents with child-centered goals tend to have more of an authoritative
style of parenting. People with parent-centered goals, focus more on establishing parental
authority, and are more likely to have an authoritarian approach to parenting (Meng 52-53).
The permissive parenting style is associated with having low demands, and a high
acceptance of the child. These parents may set rules, but do not enforce them. Permissive parents

are considered overly indulgent (Moghaddam 46). Children of permissive parents are usually
dependent. They also tend to have a high self esteem. However, there are many negative effects
of permissive parenting such as, low self control, and a low level of achievement (Hibbard 271).
Permissive parenting has also led to aggressive behavior in some children (Jabeen 88). Children
of permissive parents often think of their parents as more of a friend. These children are often
considered spoiled (Moghaddam 46).
Neglectful parenting is when a parent is practically unresponsive to their child. They do
not have any demands of their child, and they dont have much to do with their childs activities.
This parenting style can lead to low emotional regulation in children. These children usually
have a difficult time in school and have a low achievement level. Research also shows that
neglectful parenting can cause depression, and sometimes even suicidal behavior. Children of
neglectful parents may become perfectionistic in order to gain some structure in their life
(Hibbard 271).
One parenting style, that has been linked to numerous mental health issues, is
authoritarian. Authoritarian parents often have unrealistically high expectations of their children,
and are unaccepting when their expectations are not met. They set unreasonable rules and strictly
enforce them. Authoritarian parents have no tolerance for infractions of their rules.
Communication, between authoritarian parents and their children, is one-sided. Abusive parents
typically have an authoritarian approach to parenting (Moghaddam 46-48). Authoritarians are,
for the most part, unresponsive to the emotional needs of their children (Jabeen 86).
According to David Hibbard and Gale E. Walton, children of authoritarian parents have a
tendency to develop extreme perfectionism. They also have a fear of failure. These children seem
to experience higher levels of anxiety, than other children do. Children of authoritarians usually

do not take on difficult challenges, because of their fear of failure, and fear of being criticized by
their parents. They often have difficulty developing a sense of identity, and have difficulty
developing their own opinions. Authoritarian parenting leads to a low self esteem, and a low
level of achievement (270-275).
Authoritative parents have high demands of their children. They also have a high
acceptance level. This means that while they do have high expectations, they understand that
sometimes their demands cant be met (Hibbard 270). They are responsive to the childs needs
but not indulgent (Moghaddam 47). Authoritative parents see their children as individuals, and
focus on their needs (Meng 53). Authoritative parents are considered warm and loving towards
their children. An authoritative parent will have reasonable rules that are enforced, but they are
willing to bend the rules every once in a while. For example they may have a set curfew for their
children, but allow them to stay out past curfew to see a late movie (Moghaddam 46-47).
Healthy communication is necessary in authoritative parenting, and helps children to
maintain good mental health and other positive characteristics (Uji 300). Research shows that
children of authoritative parents typically have a high self esteem and a higher achievement
level, than most. These children seem to be more comfortable with taking on new tasks and feel
little criticism from their parent. Children of authoritative parents have a strong belief in their
ability to succeed (Hibbard 270-275). When faced with negative thoughts, these children do not
feel threatened, instead they feel secure. This is due to the warmth and encouragement of their
parents. Children of authoritative parents also tend to have a well developed ability to regulate
their emotions (Jabeen 88-94).
Some argue that in non-western societies, authoritative parenting has been shown to
hinder independence, and authoritarian parenting was beneficial to childrens social

development. In African American families, authoritarian parenting appeared to develop

assertive, independent women. In Malaysia, authoritative parenting was shown to have negative
effects on childrens academic achievement (Uji 295). However, most of the cultures, that found
positive effects of authoritarian parenting, were collectivist cultures. Authoritarian parenting is
more effective in collectivist cultures because they are more conformed and disobedience is not
tolerated (Jabeen 95). These cultures also consider a well-behaved child to be reserved and
introverted (Meng 53).
Parenting effects childrens mental health throughout their lives. The emotional needs of
children need to be met by parents. When their emotional needs are not met, it leads to many
negative effects in their development. Children also need rules and encouragement from parents
to develop successfully. When children do not have rules, they tend to have low self control and
have little incentive to become successful. However, when a parent has high demands of their
child, and no acceptance when the demands are not met, a child will develop may develop even
worse traits. The authoritative parenting style gives the perfect balance of demands and
acceptance and leads to the development of healthy characteristics, in western society.

Works Cited
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The

Influence of Parenting Styles and gender. Social Behavior & Personality: An

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Predictors
of Emotion Regulation Among Adolescents. Pakistan Journal of Psychological
Research
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Meng, Christine. Parenting Goals and Parenting Styles Among Taiwanese Parents:
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Moderating of Child Temperament. New School Psychology Bulletin 9.2

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with ADHD and Normal Children. Archives of Psychiatry &

Psychotherapy 15.4 (2013):

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on Childrens Later Mental Health in Japan: Focusing on Parent

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