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Stem Cell Review

by Kenneth Paul Pacia

FILE

ST EM_CELL_REVIEW_DRAFT .DOCX (578.82K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

20-APR-2016 11:50PM

WORD COUNT

1169

SUBMISSION ID

662933896

CHARACT ER COUNT

6418

focus on experiments
here, not background

use intro OR background, and add


a statement of purpose

this section should


discuss older knee injury
treatments, and early
stem cell experiments on
knee tissue. Your
audience would already

proper to what context?

wording doesn't make


sense

what you're writing here is more political


than scientific. Remember the assignment's purpose.

proximity: fig 2 should


be next to a discussion
of these pictures.

this should be your focus--experimentation

what journal is
this? need title

this isn't a journal

Stem Cell Review


GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

68

Instructor
Ken,
T his would be an inf ormative, stylish piece f or a
non-scientif ic audience. Your sources are attributed
with sophistication.

/200

Unf ortunately, the assignment asks you to review


the scientif ic, not political, literature regarding the
latest research in a f ield. If you want to revise this
f or your portf olio, be sure to f ind more experimental
sources, and shif t your topics and style to a
scientif ic audience.

PAGE 1

Text Comment.
QM

f ocus on experiments here, not background

redundant
somewhere in this sentence, you've used words that are unnecessary because other words in
the same sentence already serve your purpose (as in "f ree gif t").

Text Comment.

use intro OR background, and add


a statement of purpose

Text Comment.

this section should discuss older knee injury treatments, and early stem
cell experiments on knee tissue. Your audience would already know this.
PAGE 2

QM

S/V Agreement
Subject-verb agreement:
Subjects and verbs should match in number and person. Singular subjects require singular
verbs; plural subjects require plural verbs.

QM

Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On

the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

Text Comment.
QM

proper to what context?

Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On
the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

PAGE 3

Text Comment.
QM

wording doesn't make sense

citation add
You need a citation here.

PAGE 4

Text Comment.

what you're writing here is more political


than scientif ic. Remember the assignment's purpose.

Text Comment.

proximity: f ig 2 should be next to a discussion of these pictures.

Text Comment.

this should be your f ocus--experimentation

Text Comment.

what journal is this? need title

Text Comment.

this isn't a journal

PAGE 5

PAGE 6

RUBRIC: REVIEW ARTICLE RUBRIC 2

AUD. & PURP.

Absent/Below
Basic

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas either need explanation
or are over explained and language needs adjustment f or the journal's audience.
Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with research regarding a contemporary subject of
interest) isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING

Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with
research regarding a contemporary subject of interest) may be unclear at times, and it
may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT

Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with
research regarding a contemporary subject of interest) may be implied, but it's clear
and achieved.

ADVANCED

Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with
research regarding a contemporary subject of interest) is clear and achieved with
style.

SOURCES

Developing

SLO #2: Find, evaluate, select, synthesize, organize, ethically cite, and present inf ormation f rom a variety
of sources appropriate to their disciplines.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Fails to use MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works
cited list as specif ied by journal. Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

DEVELOPING

A f ew errors in MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works


cited list. Sometimes uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

PROFICIENT

Almost always uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and
works cited list as specif ied by journal. Use of sources is usually relevant and
persuasive.

ADVANCED

Correctly uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works
cited list as specif ied by journal. Use of sources is always relevant and persuasive.

PERSUASION

Developing

SLO #3: Compare, contrast, and synthesize caref ully and objectively the relative merits of alternative or
opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Fails to demonstrate similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent
scholars. May be biased in presentation of research. Descriptions of research may be

unclear.
DEVELOPING

Sometimes demonstrates similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent
scholars. Attempts to synthesize this research caref ully and objectively. Some
descriptions may be unclear.

PROFICIENT

Usually demonstrates similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent
scholars with clarity. Synthesizes this research caref ully and objectively. Describes
the research, usually noting objectively merits of various procedures.

ADVANCED

Demonstrates similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent scholars
with clarity and sophistication. Synthesizes this research caref ully and objectively.
Describes the research, noting objectively merits of various procedures.

ORGANIZ AT ION

Developing

SLO #4: Organize ones thoughts and communicate them clearly to address a rhetorical situation. Employs
IMRAD structure where appropriate.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic sentences,


transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically connected. Ps are
usually not unif ied or organized.

DEVELOPING

Organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic sentences,


transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogically
linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic


sentences, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas together adequately.

ADVANCED

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic


sentences, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas together logically and seamlessly.

LANG & DESIGN

Prof icient

SLO #5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

T one and/or design usually suggest/s an absence of awareness of audience and/or


generic conventions. Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede
readability.

DEVELOPING

T one and/or design are/is sometimes inappropriate or unconventional. Spelling,


syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability or otherwise distract f rom
meaning.

PROFICIENT

Appropriate tone and design conf orm to assigned audience and genre. Spelling,
syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom meaning.

ADVANCED

Sophisticated tone and design engage reader and conf orm to assigned audience and
genre. Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence
variety.

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