Date:

May 12, 2016

To:

Elizabeth Benedict

From:

Jose Orozco

Subject:

Reflection on Final

I decided to revise the proposal and the recommendation report. The proposal had
more revisions done than the recommendation. The revisions done on the
recommendation however include the addition of more information needed to get
the point across. The revisions done do make them seem less like drafts but, there
are always more change that can be done do any paper.
The proposal was the first one I looked to makes revisions for. I decided to look at
the comment done by you the instructor. I saw many helpful tips and criticisms. I
decided to reread the paper to get a good feel for the paper. The intro of the
proposal had somethings I wanted to change. I corrected some grammar mistakes
and revised the citation mistake I had done before. I had to do it so make it appear
slightly more professional. The flow of the intro also needed a bit more refinement
so I took out an unnecessary sentence. The citations where revised again
throughout the paper to make it more professional. I also decided to change many
word like the innocents to people and persons to people. I wanted to
describe peoples struggle with the subject not just innocents or specific persons. I
also added some important information to the bios in order to make it flow better. I
added an ending paragraph that was previously missing. The ending paragraph was
needed to fulfill the structure of a proposal. The cost and benefit section also
needed an explanation to fit the structure. I added some explanation on why it was
a good thing to have the numbers we picked and why that should not be a huge
problem. The audience needed to understand out partnership.
The recommendation report needed some crucial changes as well. I looked into the
comments left the professor in order to figure out the major problems. I also reread
it in order to find other problems that I wanted to address. The intro page needed to
fit the style of a recommendation report so I added my name, the date and a quick
word for the audience. I was still concerned over my abstract. I could not change
the abstract since I did not know why it was wrong. It fit the style and flow that I had
in my head. I did want to make it easier for the audience to understand the process
of my methodology. I decided to expand step 1 so that I could clearly explain it. I
also added a thank you to the audience with some personal information.
Overcall I changed many thing so that they had a more professional feel to them. I
fixed many spelling and grammar mistakes. I also added a few sentences and
paragraphs in order to get my points across and to fit the structure of the paper.