Basic Communication Skills

Non Verbal Communication

(0900 - 1030)

Body language and its importance in counselling

Use of Silence in counselling

Active listening and its importance

Group Activities: Listening/hearing and Role play

 Attending Skills
Non-Verbal Communication

Attending Skills

Attending means being with clients both physically

and psychologically (Egan, 2002).

Attending well to clients involves being aware of

their and our own body language. Hence, reading our
own body reactions is an important first step to
become an effective counselor.
Importance of Body Language

 regulates conversations

 communicates emotions

 modifies verbal messages

 provides important information about the

relationship

 provides clues about unspoken messages

 Body language often gives clues to the

depth and meaning of what a person says.
 According to Mehrabian (1981), 93% of the
effectiveness of communication depends on our
body language and tone.

What would you say are some appropriate

non- verbal communication that will be
important for helpers?
Think of the way we should sit, facial
expressions, etc.
Use of SOLER (Egan, 2002)

Sit squarely (with an)

Open posture,

Lean forward, (and maintain)

Eye contact (in a)

Relaxed mode
Why use SOLER?

Sit squarely
 It usually indicates involvement

Open posture
 It shows availability, non-defensiveness
and openness to clients and what they
have to say.

 On contrary, crossed arms and legs can

be regarded as signs of less involvement
with clients
 Lean forward
 A slight inclination toward clients shows interest
and responsiveness in them and in what they
say.
 Leaning back, or even slouching, can be seen
as detached or boring posture.

Eye contact
 Fairly steady eye contact reflects involvement in
conversation
 Looking away frequently gives a hint about some
kind of reluctance or discomfort to be with clients
or to get involved with them.
 Relaxed mode
Being relaxed or natural means not fidgeting nervously or
engaging in distracting facial expressions.

Note:Clients differ both culturally and individually. Hence,

these should not be taken as absolute rules to be applied rigidly
in all cases, but only serve as guideline.

Use of Silence
Silence is a powerful non-verbal tool.
It allows clients to think through their thoughts
especially in counseling sessions
 SILENCES:

a. May occur since clients often need time to think

b. Are often a positive form of communication

c. Should not become excessive without an

interviewer response
 Questions to ask while using silence

 Is client silent because he/she is thinking of an answer

for the question I asked?

 Is client experiencing feelings that require some

time to process or sink in?

 Is client at a difficult part of his/her story that he/she

requires time to find the courage and words to describe
it?

 Is client waiting for a response from me?

 Is client uncomfortable in sharing his/her story?

 Non-Verbal Communication:

Active Listening: Importance of Listening

What clients look for while talking to counsellor is not

just the counsellor’s ability to repeat their words.

They want more than counsellor’s physical

presence, they also want counsellor to be present
psychologically, socially and emotionally

How is listening helpful?

What is the difference between listening and hearing?
 Important Effects (Nelson-Jones, 1992)

 Establish and maintain rapport as clients feel

understood

 Encourage clients to disclose as clients feel

accepted, safe and understood

 Create a knowledge base as clients collaborate in

providing relevant information

 Create an influence base as clients perceive counselors

as competent, trustworthy and creditable

 Help clients assume responsibility as their defensiveness

reduces and well-timed confrontations are given
 Role-Play Practice

Form groups of three, so that you can have one

counselor, one client & one observer. Use the
Appropriate Non-Verbal Behaviour Checklist to
observe each other and provide feedback.

Each person should get 5 minutes to practice the

non-verbal skills. You can take turns at different
roles.
 Attending Behaviour
(1045 - 1215)

Eye contact

Body Posture

Verbal Responses

Questioning Skills

Two exercises on questioning Skills

Attending Behaviour: Points to Remember

1. EYE CONTACT

 Suggest that you are attending to what is being

communicated

 Should be natural and culturally appropriate

 Is most likely to be modified when a break in

discussion occurs or when either party is thinking

 Can signal understanding and feedback.

2. BODY POSTURE

a. Should be natural, attentive, and relaxed,

communicating interest.

b. Gestures should be easy and natural.

c. Facial expression should be appropriate to the

material under discussion.
3. VERBAL RESPONSES:

a. Should be made in a warm and expressive tone, made at

an appropriate pace, and communicate involvement

b. Should follow from the client’s comments

c. Should not change the topic or interrupt client

d. Should relate to previous aspects of the client’s story

when the topic being discussed is exhausted

e. Should be made with regard to both the verbal (content

and tone) and the nonverbal (glances, gestures, and
other physical reactions) behavior and culture of the
client.
Review Questions
Say whether each of the following statements is true or
false:
• Good helpers maintain intent eye-to-eye contact at all
times.
• It is most important to offer solutions to a client’s problem
as soon as possible in the interview.
• A competent helper is comfortable with brief reflective
silences.
• A relaxed, professional, and respectful posture
communicates a helper’s concern for a client.
• When a helper feels temporarily lost during an interview,
it is usually a good idea to focus the discussion on
something the client has related in the immediate or near
past.
• A competent helper is more attentive to verbal cues than
to non-verbal cues.
Questioning Skills

Asking questions is very important to help

clients state, describe and share their stories

Question Types. Doc

Questioning Skill Exercise I:

Changing Closed questions to open-ended questions

Closed Questions & Open Questions.doc

 Effective Questioning: Points to Remember

1. Ask questions that cannot be answered with “yes,”

“no,” or a simple fact.

2. Ask a question that is on topic.

 What questions are frequently fact oriented.

 How questions are frequently people oriented.

 Could and can questions provide greatest flexibility

for response.

 Why questions often provoke defensive feelings

and are not recommended.
3. Ask questions to

 Give clients greater opportunity to relate their story.

 Gather information and help clients explore and

clarify their concerns.

 Put clients at ease.

 Begin an interview.

 Facilitate elaboration of a point.

 Elicit specific examples of general situations.

4. Ask closed questions
 as infrequently as possible, and

 only when you need information that is missing

or important to the progress of the interview.

5. Avoid
 Asking too many questions

 Asking probing questions too early in the conversation

 Asking too many closed-ended questions without

providing the person an opportunity to describe how
they feel and what they think

 Asking questions without giving ample time to answer.

(Questioning Skill Exercise II)
 Reflecting Skills
(1245 - 1415)

Reflecting Content

Paraphrasing
Summarizing

Reflecting of Feelings

Exercise on Reflection of Feelings

 Reflecting Content

1. Paraphrasing skills

What is paraphrashing?

 reflection of information and thoughts

 repetition of clients’ key thoughts in your own words

 identifying the essence of what client says &

attempting to feedback in concise & clear manner
Example

Client: “Within a week I had to organize my house for the inter-

house competition, sit for an English test, lead the school team to
take part in the Football tournament besides all the other thins
I do. And then, I had to take all this scolding from the
principal and the coach.”

Counsellor: “You had so many things to take care of in a short

time and the
school authorities are not appreciative of you.”
 How to paraphrase?

 Restate the main ideas contained in a client’s

communication

 Don’t add to or change the meaning of a client’s

statement.

 Avoid parroting a client’s comments.

 Why Paraphrase?

a. Indicates that you are attending to and attempting to

understand what a client is saying.

b. Helps develop a working relationship between you and the

client.

c. Serves to check your understanding of the client’s statement.

d. Serves as a sounding board for clients to hear what they said

and helps the client crystallize his or her thoughts.

e. Gives direction to an interview.

f. Lets clients feel understood & be prepared to explore deeper

into their issues
 When to paraphrase?

a. When a client is threatened by discussion of

feelings.

b. To check & clarify your perceptions of what a

client is saying.

c. To indicate to a client that you understand what

has been said, & facilitate further discussion.
 2. Summarizing

What is summarizing?

 Clients often tell stories in a random way. Hence,

summarizing provides an opportunity to repeat in an
organized way to them the main thoughts, behaviour
and feelings, which were shared in the conversation

 A gentle way to interrupt clients so as to provide for a

momentary pause and minimize excessive talking by
clients
 Why Summarize?

 To provide concise, accurate, & timely overviews

of clients’ narratives and help them reorganize
their thoughts.

 Helps client review what has been said.

 Stimulates a thorough exploration of themes

that are important to the client.

 Provides organization of an interview.

 Helps break the monotony of the conversation,

especially if clients are long-winded and absorbed with their
problems
How to summarize?

a. Systematically integrate the important ideas contained in a

client’s story and restate them.

When to summarize?

a. When a client’s comments are lengthy, rambling, or

confused.
b. When a client presents a number of unrelated ideas.
c. To add direction and coherence to an interview.
d. To move from one phase of an interview to the next.
e. To conclude an interview
f. To provide an introduction to an interview by reviewing the
previous interview.
 REVIEW

Indicate whether each of the following statements is

true or false.
1. When reflecting content, it’s important to repeat
accurately everything a client has said.

2. Effective reflections of content confirm for the client that

his or her message has been understood.

3. Frequent use of reflection of content may cause a parrot

like effect and inhibit a client’s communication.

4. When clients are threatened by discussion of their

feelings, the interviewer can use reflections of content.
5. In framing a reflection of content, an interviewer should
concentrate on a client’s most recent remarks because
these are usually most important.

6. Summarization is appropriate when a client’s comments

have been confusing, lengthy, or rambling.

7. When summarizing, an interviewer must include all the

topics discussed by a client.

8. Summarizing is inappropriate at the conclusion of an

interview.

9. Reflection of content should be concise and should

capture the essence of a client’s comments.

10. Summarization may be used to give direction to an

interview.
 Reflection of Feelings
Why?

• Helps clients become aware of their feelings

• Helps clients accept and explore their feelings
• Helps you show that you understand what the client is
experiencing
• Helps build a strong relationship with the client

How?
When identifying feelings
• Attend to the affective component of what the client is
saying
• Attend to client’s behaviour (posture, voice tone, rate of
delivery, and other mannerisms)
When reflecting feelings

• Use appropriate introductory phrases followed by a

clear and concise summary of the feelings the client
seems to be experiencing

• Do not repeat the clients exact words or use the

same introductory phrases all the time

• Reflect all types of emotions (negative, positive or mixed)

 Some useful introductory phrases:

It seems that you feel……

You believe………

It sounds like ……….

In other words …….

You feel……………

I gather that ……………

As I get it, you feel that…

Kind of makes you feel…………..

 Some useful Phrases –Contd-

If I’m hearing you correctly, ………

You mean……….

Perhaps you’re feeling………..

May be you feel……..

You appear to be feeling…….

(Note: Make sure you don’t turn them into habitual phrases)

Exercise on Reflection of Feelings

E:\Exercise on reflection of feeling1.doc
The Counselling Process

(1430 - 1600)
 The Counselling Process

?
someone sought your help to resolve a personal problem,
ow would you go about it?

What would be some of the pre-requisites/ necessary conditions

hat will be required in order to be able to provide this kind of help
 Phases of Counselling Process

1. Relationship-Building

2. Assessing the problem

3. Goal setting

4. Initiating Interventions

5. Termination and follow-up

1. Relationship-Building

Establish rapport by demonstrating respect, trust, & providing

for the client’s comfort
 greet the client by name
 attend to the client's emotional state (empathy)
 invite the client to talk about the reason(s)for counseling
 use active listening / attending behaviours

Structure the parameters of the relationship:

 telling the client how long the interview will last

 what your role as counsellor will be
 what role you want the client to play
 indicate the limits of confidentiality
2.Assessing the problem

 Understand the reasons for seeking counselling

 Client's personal/social-emotional issues may be seen as:

 Needs - something is missing in the client's life & its

absence is disturbing the natural flow of life

 stress - unpleasant things are causing distress &

distraction

 misinterpretations - the way the client is thinking

about his/her life is limiting alternatives

 maladaptive interpersonal patterns

Assessment skills include:

 observing both nonverbal & verbal behaviours

 clarifying by using open & closed questions

 recording information

 associating facts & events - forming hunches

3. Goal setting

 Help clients understand what behaviours they presently

lack & what behaviors they need to solve the problem

 Helps to evaluate the outcomes of counseling

 Goals must be set collaboratively to solve the problem

 Goals may be altered when they are inappropriate in

the light of new information
Goal setting skills include:

 differentiating between ultimate, intermediate &

immediate goals

 teaching clients how to think realistically in

intermediate & immediate terms

 setting specific, measurable, attainable, realistic

goals to be achieved within a reasonable time period
(SMART).
4. Initiating Interventions

 Interventions should relate to three dimensions of

human behaviour: Affective, behavioural & cognitive.

 The interventions need to be suited or adapted to the

client's situation.

 Not all the interventions will work with every client.

Skills needed:

 competency in using specific interventions

 knowledge of appropriate uses of interventions

 knowledge of typical client responses to that type of

intervention

 observational skills related to the client's response to

the intervention
5. Termination and follow-up

 Begins when counselling goals begin to be met

 Initiate a follow-up interview within two or three

weeks after the termination.

Role play:
Try to follow the phases we have just discussed
References

Egan, G.(2002). The skilled helper: A problem-management approach to helping

(7th ed.). Pacific Grove: Brooks/Cole Publishing.

Evans, D.R., Hearn, M.T., Uhlemann, M.& Ivey, A. (2004). Essential Interviewing:
A Programmed Approach to Effective Communication (6th ed.). Belmont, CA:Thomson,
Brooks/Cole.

Kottler, J.A., & Kottler, E., (1993). Teachers as Counselor: Developing the helping Skills
You Need, California, Corwin Press,Inc.