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ANETCHKA Anna Gorenko COLLECTED WORKS Poetry and proze

OT COCTABMTEMI

comPiled,lpreparation and commentaries by Vladimir Tarasov

Cover design - Shura Zelinsky

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Camera - Petia Ptah

Book design - Andrey Reznitsky

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2000 © Copyright by Vladimir Tarasov

ISBN 965-7189-00-4

"Alphabet" Publishers, Jerusalem

Einayim la Mishpat str., 28. Jerusalem 94313. TeL/Fax 972-2-624294

5

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1110

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30

31

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1

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32

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110

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34

35

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110

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111

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2

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36

37

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4

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6

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5

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38

39

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40

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112

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42

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44

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46

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50

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11

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52

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54

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55

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56

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a TOT KTO BHAeA Hac C T060IO OHYMep

OH yxep 3a6bIBa5I Hac

a IIOA 3eMAeH: ryA51eT res corper 3HMOIO

OH 06ePHYBllIHCb Hac C T060IO YBHAeA 3a6bIBa5I Hac

a MhlllIH eAH MeA co CTeH HAOM

OCTaAC5I II03aAH

rAE XOTb'lTO-HH6YAb

Thl

em;e IJ;HTaTa em;e IIOBTOP5lH: 3TO CAOBO Ha60pm;HK

57

COH pa3pOCClIMCKI:I:ff KyCT OAHa M051 Me'lTa

CMOTpeTb KaK 6eAa5I KAy6HTC51 nycrora B ero BeTB51X CYCTaBax KpaCHOBaTbIX

rrIBeACKa5I AaTCKa51 AOAKa ryA5IeT BO TbMe '1epHa5I 6a60'lKa P51AOM co MHOM na CTeHe 3HaM 51 HOC51ID;HXC51 AOAOK 6010Cb H OrH51 6a60'leK cnpasa H CAeBa M B03Ae MeH51

115

JKeCTOKHM BeK 51 Tpe6YIO scero 'ITO MMAO MHe:

JKeCTOKa51 pacnxara

H 3HMH5151 HeC'IaCTHa5I AlO60Bb

H, rexnaa, rrycn, pecuaeraer KPOBb B MoeM mnpane AerKO

KaK rrap AlO6e3HbIX YCT

cpeBpaAbCKHM sesepox AeTHT B XOAOAHbIM B03AYX

JKH3Hb ooepayxacs KaK cAa6bIM HCKOAOTbIM MHCP xepnue 6a60'lKH rpyasro CaA5ITC51 aa PHCP

H KaK B 51HTapb HeH36eJKHO BpaCTalOT B KOPaAA TbI He cnacenn. MeH51 TbI 3TO cpaay CKa3aA

BbIMAellIb na yAMD;y AOAKa HeCeTC51 CMe51Cb BeCAaMH Bp03b aa AaAOH51X rrOlOID;a51 rpsss AOMa BC51 TbMa HAM rOCTH C JKeAe30M B PYKax AeMOHbI BOIOT B 3eAeHbIX 3a'lYMAeHHbIX pnax

58

59

2

Bepaa MeH5I TYAd -

TaM KynOA xpecr H cpAIOrep Ilacyrcs AbIMKOH ITAaBKOrO cTbIAa

115

ITEeR" MEPTBbIX AETEM

A 3AeCb 5I KpOXKHH KaMeHHbIH sapoasnn 3aMhlThlH KaMeHHbIM ITeCKOM

MHe MHp Ha30HAHBbIH OTKaJKeT He ITOMO.IKeT A B pbI6beM ropxe nnrppa C KorOTKOM

Tu AepeB5IHHa5I AeBa - BMeCTO CITHHbI Kopa6Ab

11 Y Te65I ABa fipara - 6paT KOAOAeu; H 6paT .lKypaBAb

TbI

ITpOKa.IKeHHbIM CKapMAHBaA MaAHHY ITOAynYCTbIHIO CTaBHA na pe6po cMoTpeTbC5I B MHPaJKH BeA THXYIO CKOTHHY KaK B c06cTBeHHoe AbBHHOe nyrpo.

BepHH MeH5I!

116

AeBa C ITTHu;eH MOPCKOIO ITOCAaAa 6paTb5IM ITHCbMO. EpaTb5I, AaHTe MHe HM5I - OHO AOAeTHT caxo.

CTPYHAaCb rAaAKa5I ITTHu;a B HrOAb'faThlX He6ecax

B ropxe ITHCbMOM TOMHAaCb, 6AH3KHM COAHu;eM B rxaaax

51 HHKorAd He 6YAY

ITOAfA5IAbIBaTb, KaK CAaAKO Thl ITOeIIIb, 06epHyrbIH B AOMalliHIOIO ITPOCTYAY KaK 6bI oroas OAeThlH B A0./KAb.

A 6paTb5I AaBHO H3 KaMH5I CillHAH APYfYIO cecrpy, AaAH eH ITTHU;Y B PYKH - He BhlrrycKaH H3 PYK.

Bo PTY cYXa5I KaITA5I 60.IKbeH AeCTH cana C C060H na KaMeHHhlX PYKax:

Ha ITPaJKCKHX yxanax AYKaBoe espeacrao MeH5I BHAaAO B aACKHX AeTCKHX caax,

TITHu;a AeBY H3 KaMH5I B CaA ITOABOAHbIH BAeKAa, P5IAOM AeTeAO HM5I - OmeHHa5I crpexa.

Mope - TaKOe He60, TOAbKO BO PTY C AYHOH. 113-ITOA BOAhl 5I BH.lKY - TbI ropann, HaAO MHOH.

rAe .lKH3Hb HCITOAHeHa TOMHTeAbHoH HaAe./KAbI AbI.lKH5I He6ec 6AecTHT ITepeAO MHOH.

BepHH MeH5I H ITpeAaHHO H He.IKHO Aep.IKaTb AHT5I HaA MepTBOIO roxnoii.

3

l16

roAEM

B MoeM AepeB5IHHOM CaAY 113 caxapnux KHpITH'feH 3a'feM TaK ITeAH eAHHopOrH CMHHa5I IIIeAeCT AYlfeH

rAe .lKH3Hb HCITOAHeHa TOMHTeAbHOH HaAe./KAhl Aacraa crynteaaori CHHeBoH csrra

60

61

'--"- -

t:

116

62

(CKaHAHHaBCKHe 60rM OrM rrpomxn crrHHOH):

I1x rxaaa KaK CTaH rrOABOAHhIX phI6 OCTaBaHC51 reneps co MHOH

OCTaBaHC51 reneps CeH'laC HHKorAa

CAe3a

CTeKaeT rro cyxoscaxaro MHHy5I 3eAeHbAaHHT ! He CMOTPH HM B rxaaa -

Y HHX TaKHe rxasa

KaK Y Hac; H OT crpaxa repaenrs CTbIA

THXO necna MepTBbIX AeTeH He OCTaB5IT cAeAoB

B MoeM AepeB5IHHOM CaAY HeocTopmKHble KOlliKH HaMeKH COB

A eCAH AeTalOID;HH aa TaKCH Ee3 csera rrblOID;HH HeOH

Ilpazer - MbI B KOMHaTe HaTOID;aK HaKpaxMaAeHHbIH B03AYX )K)KeM

A C YTpa xpasar 11 C yrpa xpasar

MhI npocro BhIBeAeM ero B CaA 11 caxap rrorAOTHT ero AerKO - KaK BOAY H MOAOKO

4

~BeThI:

Y HHX 3arr5ICTb5I He npocrsr

a 3TO? -

yxo HAM ry6

HX AeARHOH

PARHOH pacrpyf rrpOCTH MeH5I

sa HX cnocooaocn, KPOTKO JKAaTb raas ecrs

H naxsusr orseaan,

OHH JKHBYT H3-3a cnaasr Y HHX KAaA6HID;eHCKHe CHbI

csrpsre HHID;He xornaapu:

rymre BAaJKHhIe YAapbI rro CTbIAHOH HeOAeTOH KOJKe

npaxanxo K KOJKe npnropexo H 5I CHJKY H OTAHpalO

C rrpeAIIAe'lHH:

60AbHO H cxenrao reoe JKe crpannro H IIpH5ITHO

CMOTPH JKe MHMO rAa3 MHe B II5ITHa - 5I TaK ~BeTY. MHe - see paBHO.

63

JlJo60Bb ecms HOlib:

Bor He Bugum JIlO6RIl!UX.

CapTp

see xmo 3BQAOCR cepgu,yMUAO menept, 30BemCR 06blAOM mBOR 'lepHUAbHuu,a OCmblAa AyHa cropesa nog cmOAOM

CEBEP'blOf

113MhlBaHC5I KaK npeJRAe H KaMeHHhlH paii H AlfTOH H3BOAR csoea CMPCWIOH

HeTpYAHOH CBoeH xpacoroa

H KOPOCTOIlIHbIH KAlOB rpatpoaos C MOHeT H BOPOT

rn;eAPo BCKapMAHBaH CAlf3bID H 6POH30BhlH cAlf3hlBaH nOT

111

MbI JKHAlf B paro MbI He 3HaAH 'ITO AeJl.aTb C C060H CBeT B03J1.e OKOH 60AAC5I BOHTH KaK JKHBOH MeJRAY BOAbI HaM BJl.OJKHAlf nAaCTHHKY CyxHX

na 'leThlpeX nermeaaaax Jl.eJKarn;HX netiec

3Be3Ahl sa roposox peaaxa B3BHBIlIHHC5I xec nemre xeca xerexo aa Jl.OMTHKH xpsnn

B HaIlIHX xpasx BpeM5I rexnee CAIDAbI

3Aecb JKe B paro 3HMa H 6eJl.a H TeMHa

H MeJRAY HaMH csoriona CTOHT KaK CTeHa

.lKHAH B pato yaepnyeuracs OT MeAHOH HrJl.hl 6eAHOH BOHHbI H roproxn H BOAlf CJl.enOH BbliiAellib - npOXOJKHe see BAID6J1.eHbI HAlf 3J1.bI TOJl.bKO BOPOTHIlIbC5I - H 3aTOMHIlIbC5I C060H

TO KYAa TbI nonaxa ecrs paHCKHH HaB5I3'lHBbIH C~ BbICOKO 3TO cesep a 3AeCb He eA5!T H He Cn5lT

KllZO 0 qocmouncmse u pasencmse HaKOJKem KllZO euuem Aecmu xoromox U3 topsa macero pom axxypamno saiiasii U uuiiopsi onycmu npugu K ce6e a maM cugum nUCbMO

Tepesa R meti« A106A1O HO snaii xzno KPOBb mB051 csaqsa pom aKKypamHO sanasii u uuuopu onycmu

MOR A1060Bb nOBclOgy sqec» HO KPOBb mBOR csaqea csaqxa

XOAYU mpscemcs AOJKU 6Aell1,ym u Ma'lma THemCR u CKpunum

u R AUU,OM B 'lyJKue setuu

om yguBAeHuR BU3JKUm

B IDJKHOM paro cpezn cTaTJH 0AeThlx nOA caer CTpaHCTByH OAHa B HaBa)KAeHHH MpeHbIX Her 'lTo6bI YCHJTb TbI 06513aHa 'lTO-HH6YAh csecrs

Ha 'leThlpeX nennexaaax BHTaeT He6ecHM 'leCTb.

I

cses AOMmUK Mega AJ'lwe CMblmbcR He mo nOUMalOm u npocmsm

Hem R He CMOJKem eosspamumic«

B sasemnuii Kpau tipocmux u,umam

64

65

BeAa5l IIhIAhHa5l MaAHHa KaK IIPOCTO TaK

AaeTC5! B AeTCTBe BIIPIIAa'IY K IIaAHCaAHHKY H COCeAH ABOHHbIe paxsr 6HTa5l sara a TeAO H3 6eAoro CTaAO 6AeAHbIM

II05!BHAOCb JKeAaHHe 06'b5!CHHTbC5!

BHAHTe All ¢eMHHHCTKH MeH5! He AID65!T

TOAhKO 6bI eCAll He CTaTb ¢eMHHHCTKOH!

KaIIYCTHHn;bI B XOAOAI\e IIOAMhIThIe MapraHn;OBKOH

KAan;aIOT aKYAbeH IIH3AOH

117 Maxa

Maxa

TOAbKO 6bI He CTaTb ¢eMHHHcTKOH!

Maxa He CTaTb Han;MeHbIIIHHCTBOM ¢aIIIHCTOM IIaCTopCKOH caMKOH B3POCAOH JKeHIn;HHOH TYPKOM

AY'lIlle IIOJKapHHKOM MepTBhIM pe6eHKOM IIOCTMOAepHHCTOM TOAhKO He CTaPOCTOH He 6arpHn;KHM He IIapTH3aHOM

Maxa

MOH APY3b5! IIapTH3aHbI B 3aCTeHKe

H

'IyTb TOAhKO HO'Ib oTKphIBaIOT 3acAoHKY H BbIXOA5IT oTTYAa 51 He 6YAY 3TO CHHee MOAOKO C IIeHKOH IIAeHKOH

a ThI ee AOeAaAa

He IIOTOMY 'ITO AID6HIllb see IIPOTHBHoe a IIOTOMY 'ITO AIDAH 6bIBaIOT pasaue

nexoropue srarepa

nesoropue AeTH

H HeKHO'IH ¢eMHHHCTKH AeTH IIAa'lyT

MaTepH IIAa'IyT H eA5IT IIAeHKY OT MOAOKa MaTepH-repOHHH 6eCCTpalliHO BhITHpaIOT IIOIIY

66

¢eMHHHCTKH IIbIOT HaIIHTOK H3 COH

Maxa

3TO TOAhKO HHCTHHKTbI TbI

MorAa 6bI MeH5! 3aAYIIIHTb H MaTb 'ITO aa AeC5!Tb AeT MAaAIlle HO IIAeHKa IIAeHKa

BhIAaeT MaTb OTCTaBAeHHOMY B yrox pe6eHKY

5IHTapHbIe 6YCbI BCTaBHhIe 3y6bI IIOA pa3ABHJKHOH KpOBaTbIO 6eJKeBbIH 3aMIlleBhIH II05!C aa CHHeM B5!3aHOM IIAaTbe

'ITO AO JKH3HH TO OKa3aAaCb JKeHCKOH

5I ysepena 'ITO 3aJKHraAKY IIOA nopmem,

TbI 6hI TaKJKe CTaBHAa H COKpYIIIaAaCb CMepTH HO COCTPaAaHHe He OIIpeAeA5IeT cYAb6y HHKaK

67

- HO'Ib 3aH¥IMaeTCH co BCeX CeMH yrAOB Kopa6AliKa copososoro rOM

ira '1aHHOH AO)KKe OH BbIHec CBOH YAOB rporpejiayro BHIIIHeByro cB060AY

A HO'Ib TaK MHKOTHa lIO'lTH rOTOBa Te'lb Y AaMlIO'lKH <paAbu;eToM IIA5IIIIeT cxeprs 3aMaHHBaH MOAb lIOBblIIIe K csery

Hem y n033UU HU rOAOBbl HU IlAe'l

He npaaacxars H He npnasars K ornery HH TOAKOM paCCMOTpeTb

OHa ClIHT Ycneaaii CMOTpeTb:

OHa TeIIAa TeIIAee eru;e TeIIAee

TIOMHHIIIb roro MepTBeu;a Hero AaAOHH - OH, Ka.lKeTCH, OTOrpeBaA U;bIIIAHT, lIOMHHIIIb CKa3KY 0 )fK [(HAPOHH?

AaHa 3HHrep lIOMHHT. )f lIOMHIO 3AOBeru;HH 3aA AaHbI 3HHrep. OAHaKO BepHeMCH K HeH -

OHa ClIHT H BO CHe naxaoro TeIIAeH:

118

OHa ClIHT AOCTYITHO BCHKOMY HCHO

lIOCMOTpH! 3TO AeCTHO 3TO CTpaCTHO HalIpaCHO OHa cnar aa IIIeCTH H3b1Kax

TaK cnsr U;BeTbI B rooexeaax

TaK paCTeKaeTCH lIO MOCTOBOH B xysax

Me"YIl\erOCH COAHu;a HeBHAHblH nap

EeCCMblCAeHHa, CBeTAO H AaAeKO ropa cpeaa AepeBbeB 3alIHTaH AbeT aa U;BeTbI lIYCToe MOAOKO HO'IHaH rrrana neceaxa rAOTaeT

0, ecxa 6bI H MHe rrOKHHYTb ceTKY BeH COAOMHHKOH nsrrars rrOTeMKH oropaciraan, H AblM H reas

KaK rrpHAb C Aliu;a CHHMaTb KaK 6YCbI eAKH

C6HTOH c06aKH

xorna 6b1 '1TO-HH6YAb 3BaAOCb AI060Bb HO YXOA5J: OH nepexaeax CAOBO

H lITHU;bI lIPH'IYTCH KO MHe OT 3HOH B KPOBb H nsror ee H YMOAKaIOT CHOBa

3TOT HeAOAI'HH )Kap rpeoyer MHornx )KepTB - YClIeBaH CMOTpeTb lIOClIeIIIH crpaaars THXO KPH'IH COIIAIO pa3Ma3b1BaH se yxo, CHAb H CKa.lKH: AI06AIO KaK rOBopHT 0 lIOKOHHHKe:

OH AI06liA na AeCTHH'IHOH KAeTKe .lKAaA HeYMeAO lIliA pacnesax ce6e 6Horpa<pHIO KaK lICaAOM

He CHHMaH HMeHH ClIaA H OHa npa HeM

B HaCTOHru;HX "YAKax H 3CKHMO B PYKe

a y Hac HU 06Aa'lKa B He6e HU Bora ua nomeaxe

68

69

--- . '.._,_ ... , ..

3a nrecrs HAM CeMb - He TOHKHX - CTeH OT MeH5J sa meers HAM ceMb

Hy C60KY Hy cnpasa pas-nsa npocrynaxo MeTpo

118

HO'IHhle CAOBa, HAM, xysnre, rrOA3eMHbIe 'IHCAa Erne He pa3'b5JThl

TIo6eM He npenperrreae

He rrOAaAM HaM OKYAJKaBa CTbIAa He HYJKHa

Ha30BH JKe CBOHMH CAOBaMH BOT 3TH H re

MbI rrpHCBOHM OHH 6e33am;HTHbI npexpacma B CBoeH rrycrore ( ) MepTBa5J Me6eAb repos na Hac rrOrA5IAH

TaK H rrxamer <pa5IHC B 3aCTeKAeHHOH HO rrbIAbHOH rpYAH

3a nrecrs HAH ceMb HAM aocexs ChlTbIX noroaoii AeT Merpo H KHHO ycnexa CAMTbC5J B OAHO Pa3HOI\BeTHOe pa3BAe'IeHHe AA5I I\BeTHbIX

(ABoe HAM TpOHX) - HO ero HeAb35J pa3AeAMTb KaK CKa3aA rr03T Aa H PH<pMbI rrpHCTOHHOH HeT

MbI rOBopHM MaTeMaTHKOH - KaK 6bI COAfaTb? P5J6b TeMHOTbI B03bMeTC5J AM HaM noxorars Cnpasa AM, CAeBa: nonepro AH B ropoz, POAHOH 11 CH5JeT acrpaasr HO 51 aaaro rroKpbITbIH CAIOHOH BHAHO BpeM5J Moe HCTeKAO

70

Y ceparpnaa meers xpuxses CeAhMOH yraAaH Bsrpser 5J3bIK Aa H BAOJKHT 'ITO XO'IeT.

AaBaH,

CAymaH rrOABOAHyro csapy Tpy6bI H BHHTa

Torr rapaxansax fieron HAM CTOHhl KHTa (KpHKa 110HbI y HHX B CHHTe3aTope HeT. KaK MeTpo H KHHO)

..............................................

Ha sepmox 6hl MHe ropoaal OH 6bI BMeCTHAC5J B HrAY, Ere OH H rpoanr H rryraer 6YMaJKHhlH <pAOT

fOPOA B ABa Kopa6A5I H C HrAOH OAHOH

TIOCMOTPH na Hero H rxaaa 3aKpOH

Illecrs HAM ceMb rrOH5JTHhlX H3 CTOAbKHX CAOB OCHam;eHHbIe JKeCTaMH, rrYCTb HX, 6epH KTO XO'IeT B CKyqHOH HO'IH HYJKAa5ICb B HaAeJKAe H CHe.

Moe OTpaJKeHHe, npmnaro rrpO'IHO, TIAOXO CHAHT aa MHe.

71

"3 MOHbI BOJ\AX

C aKn;eHTOM na ryoaoe "u" ITPM pose C p)KaBbIM xpaex rYMIeT IIeHhe Ha Alin;e - MbI 3TO r:rYAO 3HaeM

Koraa ThI CAbIIIIaA pe-n, Ha 3BYK M caM ce65I cxorpex

11 6eAhIR caer KaK cepzna cTYK KaK reas BeTBeR B yrnax IIIyMeA Ilorexn MHeeM CTBOAhI AeCOB cpezn AOMOB

51 rOAy6h

51 XOTeA see 3HaTh EbITh r:rYAHhIR r:reAOBeK

51 IIAhIA B Ter:reHhM OCTPOBOB 51 6bIA pe6eHKoM CHOB

51 caM TYM Y3HaA IIOTOK

M IIAaBaA B PYCJtO OCTPOBOB

rAe OCTPOB 6eAhIX )KeMr:ryroB M OCTPOB sepaux )KeMT:£yroB 5I na He6ecHoM 5I3bIKe CBoeM KapTMHHo rOBopIO

M B CBeTAOM B03Ayxe BeAY noprpersr 6YKB aa CTMX yrex

120

11 CMHee 3M5IeT "3C"

B noxycxenux ararax

MbI 3HaeM xaoro M3 r:rYAec o AOAKax M 5IrH5ITax

MbI MO)KeM osepo BIIMcaTh ITOr:rTM B AI06yro cTeHY HaM 3TO r:rYAO IIOBTOP5ITh Cxenrao MAli 6Aa)KeHHO

72

73

r

f

B. TapaCOBY

120

AOBIiIA ce6H IiI 6UA YAIiI'IeH

EYAJ'l1iI YAIiI'IeH IIIeTITaA CrrOKOHHO

5I COrAaCeH 51 rrAOX H XOpOIII H TaKOH HIiIKaKOH rOBOpHm;IiIH AO)Kh C MeHH He B03hMeIIIh

5I 6liICeKCYaAeH Aa IiI sooome HIiIKorAa He XOTeA IiI MeHH HIiIKTO 11 KOHe'IHO xoraa He ThI MeHH 6hI Hlil 6hIAO He sa 'ITO

5I caM He 3HaIO 3a'IeM CIiIHA refie HIiIMcpeeH B TeAecpOHHOH TPy6Ke TIHeBMaTIiI'IeCKIiIMIiI U;BeTaMIiI

TIO'IeMY )KeAaH npocxsrrs MliIpHhIM

CTaA rroMo noxopnsrx

11 H pacxpacax ce651 rrOMeTOM 6eAhIM IiI 'IepHhIM

He3aMeTHo Y TBoeH rrapaAHOH CTOHA caM ceria ABa C rrOAOBIiIHOH xaca BhI)KIiIAaA Ycnex rroxasars rrHpO)KHhIX

PHAOM MeHT HapKOMaH IiI ABOHHOH arear see xpacaaee Hac Aa He 6hIA H BOBce )KeHm;IiIHOH HO BIiIAeA He paa

TIpaBM BIiIAeA He paa

XO'IeIIIh H CTaHY KaK 3Ta TeTH

PaAliI Te6H CeH'Iac?

A H BOPYro CAOBa OHIiI AliIrrHJT KO MHe KaK paxar AYKYM A yxaasr K pyxasr

5I KaK TYPeU;KIiIH MaAb'IIiIK IIAOCKO AO)KYCh na AHe B rrapy napnxea B KpOBIiI

B nopounce IiICAaM (Y6eAliIch Y MeHH na Ka.lKAOH PYKe KaK Y ChIHa EO)KherO - cpan]

74

5I BhIMoraTeAh IiI MapoAep PhD MOPaAbHhIX nayx 5I maaraxapyio caM ce6H TeM 'ITO eCAIiI a BAPyr 5I ropOAIiIB U;IiIHIiI'IeH MepTB

5I o6MeHHro Ayrny aa BoceMHaAu;aTh rxas BOT H 3arAHHY rerie B pOT

11 - C'heM CAOBapHhIH sanae

11 'ITO 6u HH 6hIAO, 3HaeIIIh, H - )KaAHO IiI 3AO, A BeAh paasme He)KHO YMeA,

TIpe.lKAe 6hI TeAO caao AerAO

Ho H AlO6HA IiI He CMeA

5I npexpacnsrx CAOB He )KaAeA KOBaA H YBIiIAeA ThICH'IY CHOB 5I na 60KY yrAeM PIiICOBaA caM aa ce6e xroooss.

5I ycnex npassncayn, )KIiITh He 60HCh CBeTa IiI TeMHOThI Teneps Thl npas H Y)Ke HIiIKTO, rro KpaHHeH Mepe He ThI.

75

Bee Bozcse He60 B rr03YMeHTax 11 'lHHOM aHreAbCKHM Jl.YHa

TaK cnoii MHe, AeByrnKa, C aKu;eHTOM 3~yii OfHHBO CHa

BHAHIIIh COAHu;a aJI.'lHhIH norors Ha B'lepaIIIHHX He6ecax?

AaH exy 1I.HU;O norporars CKB03h OTBepCTHe B rxasax,

120

5I anoxersr H BeHKH

Te6e, BOKPyr HeMoro rexa, TlOCTPOIO - TOAbKO 6hI ThI nexa, A B He6e ABHraAHCh rrOJI.KH

HeJKHhIH H 6eC'leJl.OBe'lHhIH BKyC H3IOMa aa H3hIK.

5I C To6oIO K JKH3HH Be'lHOH 11 K 6eccMepTHIO npansnc.

TlOKYM ThI noems H TOHeIIIh, LITO CJl.e3hI B ropxe y MeHH? BCH HO'lh OAHa TBOH noroas 11 serrax npanoro KOHH.

76

77

He THXOH 6eAHOCTH HO aamersr POCKOiliHOH amy 3a6hlTb rrpaaernue noxa

rrycrs: 51 AeJKY B 3eMAe, a B03AYX H 3eMM! - KaK ABe CTpaHHD;bI CKAeHAMCb onxomao.

TBOH M51KOHbKHH pOT HCKaA BHHOBaThlX, a HaxOAHA BOAOC B rraxy, HAM nenae rrTHD; AOBHA

H 3aCTpeBaAO B ropxe H naaceraa

6HAOCb 0 CB513KH qYJKoe sepxnee Aa

121

Y HeKOTopbIX KpbIIII orpaasr BhlCOKH

y CAOB HHbIX ecrs BbIKAHKH H cnaecxa - HaA HaMH rrmnu JKaA06HO-AerKH

H orroro y HHX ABHJKeHb51 pe3KH.

TbI qaCTO AaBHAC51: CHOM AM, XAe60M H3HaHKH (AMK, oceaennua XBoeH eAKH-06MaHKH)

CTaB MOHM CAOBOM, cxerxa OTAaIOrn;HM B CTOH TbI 60Aee He crpazaems yJKe. I1pHeM.

o XHpOCHMa HHD;D;a 6Aara5I AeCTb

Te6e noaesmory CHHTC51 arrOKaAHrrCHC sees:

CBaH CTpOrrHAa KPOBb KPOBb acrpaasr AHa6a3 Ay6 MOqaAO opex 11HCyC xpaHHBIIIHH Hac

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11M ABaAD;aTb rrepBbIH BeK? - rrycrs He OTBOA5IT rAa3! 3TO cxeprs.

MbI rrpasaauaaex CMOTpeTb aanra CHbI,

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78

79

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122

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51 see ssnne, ssnne JKeAalO IIAbITb 51 XO'IY OCTaBaTbC5I cax

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51 'ITO xosenn, AMllib 6bI retie rrOAbCTHAO

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6eCn;eAbHOe

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80

81

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1

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( 3TH OHa )

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82

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123

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84

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cxeprs BhlXOAHT H3-3a xeca C MOKPOH Tp5!rrOqKOH B PYKe

85

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123

86

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123

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KpOIIIKH.

Tepe3ueHwmagm, anpesu 1943

88

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O ",n" "a AIOAnl AIOAn-TOI nepxaae 3TaJKM, HaBepHO, OHM 'ITO-TO npeA'IYBCTB BUJm , n. n.

6oM6oy6eJKMru;a Y sac 6hlAM?? II BOnpOIIlaA DOp¢MPMH II aH, OCTaBh 6oM6oy6eJKMru;a". 3a KOMnhIOTepOM, K KOTOPOMY 51 CTOAAa KpaHHeH, eCAM yJK rosopnrs KaK B EeHAepax, CMAeA HeOJKMAaHHO BhICOKMH 6AOHAMH, nOKphlThlH 3AOPOBhIM sarapox TO AM 6e3pa6oTHoro, TO AM paarse. OH BhIAeA5IAC51 OTcyrcTBMeM nOA CaHAaAM51MM HOCKOB M HeKOTopOH AOBKOCThIO B o6paru;eHMM C MBPMTOM M KOMnhIOTepOM. LITO MeH51 nopasaxo cpasy - TaK 3TO MM51. EeAHoro MOAOAoro 'IeAOBeKa 3BaAM 3Ba.l\bA. Aa-Aa! 11 CHOBa CKa.l\bA 'IyJKyro neCHIO CAOJKMT M KaK CBOIO ee npOM3Hecer! A nO'IeMY, CnpOCMAa 51 y rparpaxa, KOTOPhlH MHe KaK pas 06'h51CHAA'ITO OH CAY'laHHO He paooraer CeH'IaC a 06hI'IHO OHM naIIlYT He pa3m6a5ICh.

_ OH BaTMK - npounmex rparpax C HeM3'h51CHMMhIM yBaJKeHMeM. HaBepHO, npOMe.l\bKHYAO Y MeH51 B nOAMeHeHHOM C03HaHMM, pOAOBoe MM51. Y HMX,y BaTMKOB. OAHaKO 51 B03pa3MAa - 3TO CKaHAMHaBCKoe MM51, a BeAh Y Hac He

92

C K a HAM H a B M 51 . Y Hac - 11 3 P A 11 A h. I'parpax BOBce o6MAeAC5I. OH TOTxac nOMHTepeCOBaAC51, He nMIIlY AM 51 xero. Aa.l\bIIle 51 HM'IerO He nOMHIO. DOMHIO TO.l\bKO, 'ITO creasr C 06051MM. DOMHIO, rperpax HaAMBaA M3 xpana B 6aAAOH'lMK BOAY, TOJKe, KOHe'IHO, MMHepa.l\bHYIO. DOMHIO, AO'Ih MBPMTCKOH cexperapnra COCTaBA5IAa cnMCOK xero OHM CerOAH51 eAM. CnMCKa He nOMHIO. O'IeHh 6hIA AAMHHhIH M JKM3HepaAOCTHO HeKOIIlepHhlH. DOTOM KaHeBCKMH BhlrA5IHYA M cnpOCMA ee TaK: l1PMC! 3utl>O np51HMKM? KAHHYCh, BOT TaK np51MO cnpOCMA. DOTOM On51Th 'ITO-TO nOMyrMAoCh .

... HeT, He nOMyrMAOCh. DPOCTO 51 B3AAa M nO'IMTaAa 3K3eMnA5Ip'lMK JKYPHa.I\b'IMKa. Ho AY'lIIle Mhl 0 HeM He 6YAeM 60AhIIle BcnOMMHaTh. DOTOMY'ITO - snepez, K pa3B513Ke - npeJKAe 'IeM orrrycrtrn, MeH51 otiparno K AIOA5IM, MHe BeAeAM nepesecra APyr APyry l1PMC M rocnonaaa Kaaescxoro. Ao CMX nop MM He AOBOAMAOCh nooomarscs. Ao CMX IIOP MM IIPMXOAMAOCh raanesars MAM pMCOBaTh IIMKrorpaxxu. Ho IIpMIIleA M MX xac.

DpMBeAY MX 6eceAY AOCAOBHO. MOJKeT, OHa aanarepecyer CIIeU;MaAMCTa IIO IICMXMaTpMM. ECAM TaK, TO 51 CMOry 6eCIIAaTHO IIOAY'lMTh pea6MAMTaU;MOHHoe Ae'IeHMe, 51 reneps OH KaK B HeM HYJKAaIOCh. l1PMC: AeBYIIlKa M3 IIIMKyH ynaryax OTKa3aAaCh AaBaTh HaM peKAaMY. fOBOPMT, IIAOXOH JKYPHaA. KaHeBCKMH: OHa saTH'IKa! 06'h5ICHMTe eH! (6MIIlh, 5I 06'h51CHMTe l1PMC) BaTHKH Hac He AI065IT! MhI BhlpaJKaeM IIOAMTWleCKMe MHTepeChI OAHM! Aa! Aa! 06'h5ICHMTe eH! 11 5I PaA! 5I - PaA! CKaJKMTe eH, Y Hac B l1CKYCCTBe TaK npMH5ITO, eCAM KTO reHMa.l\bHhlH - rpaB51T! He AI065IT! 3Ta BaTM'IKa HaM 3aBMAyeT! Aa! Aa! l1PMC: MHe KaJKeTC5I, IIMChMO xoropoe BhI rraurere aa TeAeBMAeHMe - nxoxoe, ero He CTOMT IIOChlAaTh. KaHeBCKMH (c IIOHMMaHMeM): 5I M He 6YAY ero IIOChlAaTh. 5I IIPMAY BMeCTe C IIMChMOM. 3TO sooome CIIeU;Ma.l\bHO TaKoH CTM.I\b IIAOXOH. 3TO JKe IIpOBOKaU;M5I! OHM TaM IIOHMyr. 11M JKe TaK M HaAO! l1PMC OT'IMThIBaeTC5I, rAe OHa IIPOCMAa pexxaxsr. KaHeBCKMH: 06'h5ICHMTe eH! 5I noezy B AMepMKY! 5I IIpOCTO He XOTeA BMAeTh IIOAYIIYCTOH 3aA! A reneps MeH5I 3HaIOT! 5I 6hI ysrep, eCAM 6hI yBMAeA HeIIOAHbIH 3aA!!!!

Ilocxe 3TOH 6eceAhI, KOTOPyro MHe AeHh BOCCTaHaBAMBaTh - OHa B AeC5ITb paa AAMHHee - KaHeBCKMH CKa3aA, 'ITO eMY see JKe HYJKHbI IIpo¢eCCMOHa.l\bI. 3aIIAaTMTh sa II5ITh 'IaCOB Mapa3Ma eMY M B rOAOBY He IIpMllIAO. Ho C ApyrOH CTOPOHhI - AMepMKa AOMMTC51 B 3aAhl TO.l\bKO rA5IHyrh aa Kanescxoro, a 5I BOT u;e.l\bIX II5ITh 'IaCOB IIpaKTM'IeCKM 6eCIIAaTHO passxexaaacs.

93

r--

BPOACKMM

C AeTCTBa IIepBOe - IIOKOp06AeHHOCTh, IIpRMO IIepBOe. BHa'IaAe KTO-TO, a IIOTOM H 51 IIPOH3HOCHAll xopoosmae CAOBa H nocrynxa. HeAOBKOCTH He 6hIAO, HO 3AaK HeAOYMeHHO CaAHHAO.

Kapra CTeCHRIOCh B3RThB P)'KH, oc06eHHO H36eraIO CKa3aTh: BaAeT 'IepBeM HAll 'ITO-TO BpOAe cexepxa. Mory BHpryaAhHhIM IIaChRHC, HO BhI6HpaIO HM IIpe)KAe HeIIpaBAOIIOA06Hhle py6aIIIKH. A AOCHRrn;eeCR MhIIIIHHoe rexsne sexsra 'IepBeM B P)'KH He B03hMy. HHKorM-HHKorAa.

MHe HapKOMaH OAHH paCCKa3hIBaA H3 )KH3HH, 'ITO H306peAH OIIHaT napars H3 IIIKypKH rpaaaroa, XOpOIIIHM. Ho H306peTaTeAh IIepeAYMaA rry6AHKOBaTh 'lYAecHoe, CTaA B Kaaaae xecopyti, Aa H CIIHACR. He)KHO BHHMaIO, CHAR B HO'IHOM IIhIAH. HeKTO "MOM zpyr" HapKOMaHa 6YATO YBHAeA na ARe BaHHhI Bora B BHAe oraenaoa HaAIIHCH aa apesreacxox, A rOBopRT MHcTHKa! A Mam IIHcaIOT APyr aa zpyra, y HHX 3TO Mam'IeCKaR II06eAa ... OhIAh, see IIhIAh. TOrn;HM OpaH)KeBhIM aapxoxaa ...

OAOXO KOH'IaeTCR HO'Ih, IIhIAhHhIM serep HaA KOBpaMH. Meoexs: MepTBhIM xpacaua cryx HeoTBR3HhIM. Cxynraa, 51 rOBOpIO, cax 3HaeIIIh, HeAh3R pa3AeAHTh, cAyrnaM, 3AeCh MaAO, Aa?

OTBR)KHCh, Hocnrp, cAyrnaM. Cryx, OARaKO, peer, rB03AH B HO)KKax. BhIXO)KY na KphIIIIY, He IIOHHMaIO, 'ITO K 'IeMY - 3TO KAHMaT HAll Be3Aecyrn;HM IIhIAhHhIM II03T.

124

3YA B AeBOM COCKe TaK H IIOA6HBaeT xrars. J\IOAH C 'IYBCTBHTeAhHhIMH COCKaMH 6e33aBeTHO, )KeHCTBeHHO A)KHBhI. 0 HHX AaAee II03)Ke.

P03aHOB see IIHIIIeT: KaKOM Aa KaKOM 51 HeKpaCHBhIM, Aa H IIOTAHBhIM, KpaCHOAHU;hIM. OO-MOeMY, 3TO see IIpOTHB roMoceKCYaAH3Ma. TO~IHO. He~eAH OH H 6hIA TaKOM raAKHM? A BeAh H cpaMHAllR AHIIIaMHaR, a??

YAH'IaT.

MHe IIOCIIeIIIHO 06'bRCHHAH: pansme 6hIAH AIOAH, IIpeAMeThI H caryanaa, HhIH'Ie )Ke 3HaKH, PhI6KH H IITHU;hI. Y'Ia HaH3YCTh 3ry secsxa YA06HYIO AM 60Ph6hI C

94

rpY3HHCKHM II03TOM TeopHIO, Y3HaIO C ropessro, 'ITO 3TO He reopas sooritue H peBOAIOU;HR KOCMoca. 3TO 'IaCTHaR IIp06AeMa Illypu 3eAHHCKOrO, IIpH'leM OIIRTh-TaKH He lIlYPhI 3eAHHCKOrO soorime, a HMeHHO B 3TOT MOMeHT. TYT )Ke 06H)KaIOCh. OT 06HAhI 3a6hIAaCh BCR HCTOPHR 0 AIOARX, saaxax H xpyronopors phI6.

KaK II06eAHTh rpY3HHCKoro n03Ta? OH KaK MeAhHHu;a - IIIKacp, pa3HHYBIIIHM CTBOPKH, orsero 6hI He cpeaaars C MeAhHHu;eM? A 51 AOHKHXOT, yrposcaro HaCKaKHBaTh. "Ope3peHHhIM IIIKacpHK!" "OOCTOPOHHCh, )KaAKHM, 6e3poAHhIM IIIKarpoxl!" Ho IIIKacp MHOr03Ha'IHTeAhHO IIpHcAoHeH K CTeHe, KaK nOA06aeT nepxaHeHTHO IIO)KHAOMY, 6eccMepTHOMY, Y)Ke MepTBoMY. I'pysna AI06HA OCHH. IlpespaTHACR caM B OCHHOBhIM IIIKacp. Op06AeMa, 06paTHaR BOMHe C BaMIIHpOM. T.e. HaAO BhI6poCHTh rpY3HHCKHM 'IeCHOK, CBRTOM BOAOM nO'IHCTHTh 3y6hI,

YKYCMTb lIlKA<f> PaCKOAOTHTh CAOMaTh

OOKa He KpHKHeT He KpHKHeT He KpHKHeT He KpHKHeT He KpHKHeT He KpHKHeT He KpHKHeT He KpHKHeT.

C BeAHKOIO IIPOBHHU;HaAhHOIO He)KHOCThIO AYMaIO 0 ce6e, HO CBOHX Bern;eM He ynoxaaaro, KpOMe ~HHCOB, 6hIBIIIHX AaBHO, H MaHTO. KOTOPOro He 6YAeT HHKOrAa. CTOIO MhICAeHHO B03Ae sexeaoro 6aHKa H oopamaro BaIIIe BHHMaHHe: KaK aa- 3hIBaIOT yAHU;hI. )KeHrn;HHa B MaHTO TpHAu;aTH IIRTH AeT - § - BCR HeMOM BOIIpOC - 0 IIO'IeMY y 3THX yAHU; TaK HeIIpHAH'IHhI HMeHa? 3a'IeM OHH C060M ynoxaHaIOT CTpaIIIHhIM ropoz, xamaue AepeBhR, H, cnona, naps!'

A MHe rOBOpHAH: nocaorpare Ha 3TH KAIO'IHU;hI. Y xoro TaKHe KAIO'IHU;hI, He AeAaeT 3Aa. 3TO see 0 MOHX KAIO'IHu;aX CKa3aA BAaAeAeu; BHHHoro norpe6a MOB MoeM OAHOM KBaIIIeHoM IIoAPyrH. Ho-n, 6hIAa HeIIhIAhHaR, eXaAH.

APyr MOM, rrpasrexs, Occ, C'beA paa 563 (nanpaxep] sepayunca MTYPhI H saTeM BCIO HO'Ih e6aA IIoAyrnKY, CHOBa H CHOBa. CAoBa 06hI'IHOrO e6aAh'IeCKOrO xaMCTBa Occa IIepeIIIAH B raAAIOU;HHOreHHhIM xerrer. Flozyuraal l.J:YAO THCKaTh, 'IeM He caxap ... fpY3HHCKHM II03T TO)Ke AI06HA IIOAyrnKY. feHHM H AeHTRM, OH He Hy)KAaACR B AOIIHHre, BhIITHA TOAhKO H3 He'IHCTOM nAOIIIKH MeHCTpYaAhHOe BHHU;O H, npnnazasr aa G, IIOBeA CAOBeCHhIM CPOPIIA3M. 003Ta 3aBOAHT peas, BhICTPO, 6hIcrpee, 6hICTPO, KaK TOAhKO B03MO)KHO. 0 YAeHIIIBHAH!

Terreps )Ke cerOAHR, nparpersre rpY3HHOM 6e6eXH BceM HaM 3aKaThIBaIOT cu;eHhI. Hacro YXOART nasceraa, XAOIIaR ABephIO. ,ABeph, MHAOCTHBhIe rocyzapa, _ AY'lIIIee Me)KAOMeTHe. BhInpaMAReT pe% H, HeHaAOMO, CIIHHy. OOIIp06yMTe caxal

95

AyMaIO B BaHHOH 0 IIpHpOAe CTpaCTH. EeAa51 MaAHHa, 6e3hlM51HHOe AeTO ••• Ee3- M51Te)KHa51 3IIOXa - H BCe AaCTHAOCh KO MHe, AhCTHAOCh. TIoBecTH B TeIIAhIX KHHrax - 0 YAHTKax, 0 6AeAHhIX AeBax. [ecce aa CAYX, H AJKYAH51, B IIPOCThIH51X IIOAsaraer KO MHe TpH narpersrx HaCIIaHHhlX a6pHKocHHhl ... He OAeBa5ICh, HeAeIIeHIlIHM yTPOM BXO)KY K 6e3HoroMY coceAY aa caraperaxn, 6Y)KY ero H OH IIAa'leT B TOTaAbHOH 06HAe. HH na 'lTO H3 06CTaHOBKH Y MeH51 He 6hlAO H YCAOBHoro npaaa,

TeM AI06e3Hee 6hlAO MoeMY cepnny .

O)KHH aa XOKKeHcTa B 3AaKOH-TO 0Ae/KAe, H npenorennro KYAP51BhlH. HeAh351 6hIAO He CMe51ThC51, 3TO 6hlAO xY)Ke Iu;eKOTKH, H CAep)KHBaeMhlH cxex 3aCTaBA5IA MeH51 rr51THThC51 Ha3aA, 'lTO-TO IIpecephe3HO OTBe'la51 HAHOTCKOMY rOCTIO

• • . . . • • . . . . . . . • . . . . • . . . . • . . . . • . . . . • .. EpOACKHH, .•.....•.......•....•... •..... , .•...............•.......• KOHe'lHO •..•.......•....•..•...••..•.. .................................................................... H 51

TO)Ke ...•.......•.......•.... BcerAa Ka3aAOCh rrO'leMY?

TIO'leMY BC51KyIO 3HMY MeH51 TaK HOCHT rro ropozy, rrp51MO KaK sroro K03AOBa?

K03AeBH'la?. xopose, aroro, KOTOPhIH IIOTOM CTaA peAHrH03HhlH? B03Ae 06Iu;eCTseanoro 3AaHH51, rAe 51 acerza rrepe)KHAaIO AO/KAh, MeH51 pa3BOpa'lHBaeT He pas, H

He ABa, IOAOH.

... A Mhl HrphIBaAH B BeIu;H B rrpHBOAhHOM ropoxe. 51 rrpHrroMHHaIO npaaaxs:

1. Hrpars KaK MO)KHO AOAhIlIe.

2. KTO rrepBhIH CKa3aA "naarpax" - OH nuarpaa.

3. TIOMHHTh CBOH BeIu;H, He IIyTaTh.

ECAH Hrpaellih C H3BeCTHhIM rpY3HHcKHM rr03TOM, npasnxa rpaacrpopxapytor-

C51, KaK 3TO CBoHcTBeHHo KaBKa3cKoH nrpe B KaKoH-To aanepcrosex:

1. Bsmrpax rpY3HHcKHH rr03T.

2. Bce BeIu;H TaK H 6hIAH ero.

3. Hrpars scerna.

96

Y MeH51 BO CHe 6hIA APyr MepTBhlH 'leAOBeK - MepTBeu;-rroKoHHHK, HeMHO)KKO IIpH3paK. OH HaBOAHA aa U;HBHAOB xapsr H rAIOKH, KAy6HAC51 H AeAaA cHTYaU;HH. OH paCTBOp51AC51 H pa3AaraAC51 KHCAOTHOH 3eAeHhIO, see Mor. OH IIH3AHA B cynepax TeAe)KKH C ropxoii, a cax He eA, HOCHA rrOKOHHH'lHH KOCTIOM H TOAhKO TOP'laA na AJKecpe. )KHBOIO HrAOH - B MepTByIO KHCAyIO 3eAeHyIO BeHY·

)KHAH MhI na BHAAe, 06MaHYB X0351eB, 'lTO AeHhrH BhIlliAH H3 ynoTpe6AeHH51. B xarpe TO )Ke caxoe. OTXOAH51KOB He 6hIAO, TaK KaK 06Iu;a51Ch C MepTBhIM, CTaHOBHIlIhC51 HerrOAcYAeH H BC51KO AerHTHMeH HAHOTCKHM HeBHAHMhIM rrOBeAeHHeM.

Ho APyr MOH IIOAI06HA MeH51 'lYAHOH AI060BhIO - KaK 60m - H O)KHA. Fxasa ero 3a)KrAHCh, a BeHhI rroTYXAH. He CTaA OH soponars H CMe51ThC51, 6pOCHA HaBOAHTh 'laphl H c6HBaTh C ITyTH XOAOAHAhHHKH MOpO)KeHOrO Illrpaycc. X0351eBa BHAAhI Hac AaJKe H He BhlrHaAH, a M51rKO OTrrYCTHAH. TIpoXO)KHe HaM YAHBHAHCh H He 06PaAOBaAHCh. 113MY'leHHhIH MOH APyr CO)KaAeA H AI06HA, He TOP'laA, He BcrrOMHHaA HHhle 3rrOXH, AeHer He 6hIAO, Mhl CTaAH HY/KAaThC51. Y513BHMhle H csrymeaaae, orA5IAeAHCh BOKPyr, H 51 rrpOCHYAaCh, Aa.

HHKaKOH MOPaAH 6hITh He MO)KeT. 3TO AI060Bh. 3TO npoiizer, Torna BepHeTC51 cB060Aa, a MO)KHO 3TO Ha3BaTh naase,

JlnOHEQ

_____ paCCKa3 0 HnOHu;e

11HorAa 51 OCTaBA5IIO 3TO 3aH51THe, a aaoraa B03BpaIu;aIOCh K HeMY. Boenaoe BpeM51 secssra H BeChMa pacnoxaraer K scrpexax C HO'lHhIMH AIOAhMH, nporyxsIu;HKaMH, Ae3epTHpaMH H a3HaTaMH. 11 snoaeu B HX 'lHCAe - 'lyTKHH, HO'lHOH xeAOBeK, BHAHT ce651 co CTOPOHhI TaKHM, KaK ycrreA 3arrOMHHTh - rpororparpas aa nacnopr. A OH He rrOMHHT CKOAhKO eMY AeT. TeM BpeMeHeM KOH'lHAaCh BoHHa. 11 51IIOHeu; rrHChMeHHO paCCKa3aA KaK ero noryfinxa 51rrOHCKa5I )KeHIu;HHa.

3Ta )KeHIu;HHa xraxa H 6hIAa "narpoc". 5IrroHeu; )Ke COMHeBaAC51 H XOTeA 6hITh "xoroc", AM aroro OH IIpHeXaA B 113paHAh, Y'lHTh TaKyIO oc060 3A06HyIO MaTeMa-

97

THKY. Ha ypoxe HBpHTa na BOAbHYIO TeMY OH H rrpeA'b5IBHA OT'Ia5IHHbIM CBOM rrHCbMeHHbIM OTqeT.

5I 6bIA 6eAHbIM crynerrr H AIOOHA JKeHrn;HHY KOTOpa5I 6blAa aKYAJKO. AKYAJKO 3TO JKeHrn;HHa 5IrrOHCKa5I, YMHa5I H CeKCYaAbHa5I. DPHTOM OHa see BpeM5I AJKeT. Bee BpeM5I. 5I oseas cepaar 6bIA na AOJKb 3TOM JKeHrn;HHbI. Ern;e TaKHe JKeHrn;HHbI HeCqaCTHbI.

MOIO nozpyry 3BaAH fHHKO. 5I ee OqeHb AI06HA H 3a6bIA TOAbKO H3yqa5I MaTeMaTHKY B Hspaaxe. B TOKHO 6bIAa 3HMa 6eAblM cner BOAa H 5I - 6eAHbIM cryzear ern;e MOAOAOM. fHHKO CKa3aAa: KaK rrAOXH TBOH 60THHKH, Topo! MeH5I 30BYT Topo. 5I OTBeTHA: HeT AeHer, HeT aa APyrHe 60THHKH. Toraa OHa passeprryxa renAble 60THHKH H CKa3aAa: 5I AeAaIO reoe TaKOM rrOMpOK. 3TO reoe, DYCTb retie 6yAeT TeIIAO 3HMOIO B TOKHO qaCTO 3eMAeTp5ICeHH5I BOAa caer. Ho OHH CTOHAH nersrpecra IIIeKeAeM, a OHa yIIIAa cpasy K APyrOMY. 5I AOAfO HOCHA 3TH xopomae 60- THHKH.

5I JKeHHAC5I He aa fHHKO, a aa Mapa. Mapa 6blAa A06pOM JKeHOM, a 5I CTaA yqHTeAeM MaTeMaTHKH na XOKKail:Ao. 5I AOAfO He Mor rrOH5ITb, C xerc 3TO fHHKO nonapaaa MHe 60THHKH TaKHe Aopome. Toraa Mapa CKa3aAa: BHAHIIIb AH, 5I XOpOIIIa5I JKeHa, HO 5I Mapa. 5I He fHHKO. TbI MeH5I He AI06HIIIb. 11 MbI pa3BeAHCb.

fHHKO 3TO narpoc, OHa 5IrrOHCKa5I JKeHrn;HHa aKYAJKO. 5I yqHTeAb MaTeMaTHKH, H 5I xosy rr06eAHTb narpoc AorOCOM. 5I 3a6bIA CKOAbKO MHe AeT, xorna ynua fHHKO.

BoceMbAeC5IT IIIeCTb rroAyqHA aa ypoxe HBpHTa snoaeu sa COqHHeHHe aa BOAbHYIO TeMY. Bo CHe OH exax noeszox rAe see B raacryxax, a OH B AJKHHcax. Ha nocxeznae AeHbfH cxax noz, CHerOM B CHHeM noesae l1ePYCaAHM-KaBKa3-XoKKaMAo. OH 3HaA qTO B TOM JKe rroeaae eAeT fHHKO. TOAbKO H scero.

Teneps 5I paCCKaJKy.

MOJKeT 6bITb, fHHKO - 3TO 5I.

HOfA liAPADAHIIJ;MKA TOJKe paCCKa3 npo AeHLfH H AIOOOBL

TAaBHoe, 3HaelUb AU, AerKoe quxanue 11. EYHIiH

B 3AaqHbIX MeCTaX - a B rrpeAMeCTb5IX KPYJKHT CHHHM Boona - B xapxanax ropoza KOB60H Crr5IT KorAa YJKe AeByIIIKH y6HpaIOT 3aBeAeHHe nepez, OTKpbITHeM. 3arrax sxepanmero rmsa HAH, cxopee, BeqHOrO nasa rrOMepJKHBaeT B AeByrnKax

98

rrpHqaCTHOCTb K 3BOHKOMY rrorrYCTHTeAbCTBY H OHH He TOM5ITC5I HO secexo JKAYT CBoeM ysacra, KOTOPa5I qYAHTC5I HM CTOAbKO JKe rrpexpacnoii, CKOAbKO H HeH3- 6eJKHoM.

He TYT-TO 6bIAO.

)KH3Hb nporexaer B npezjrecrsax. BOT HMeHHO nporexaer H oopaayer rnycmae BOAOBOPOTbI, H Botina B CHHeM AHu;e YHOCHT AeByrneK sa rOAoBY, qTO 6bI OHH TaM HH AYMaAH 0 ysacra H rrpHqaCTHOCTH, H - MorYT rrp5ITaTbC5I sa CTOMKY CKOAbKO yroano. OHH rrpHAYT AOMOM nepeoaert, qYAKH, a as-rroz, CKaTepTH BbIMAeT Botina, OTOPBH AHU;O OT CTOMKH, cnaca MeH5I! Boona 6AH3KO, B xycrax caMIIIHTa! OTKPOM cxex KaK xopner aa Boorryl

HeT, AHT5I, 5I He OTOPBY AHU;O OT CTOMKH, 5I cnzro. 5I Crr5Irn;HM nexpacasen. CaMa CMOTPH B KYCTbI caMIIIHTa, MHe nemrrepecea sarrax yxcaca rrpeAMeCTHM, 5I rryTeIIIeCTBeHHHK H Y MeH5I HaCMopK.

Hy rrOJKaAyHCTa, nepeaezn MeH5I qepe3 aBT06YCHoe KOAbU;O, noxa Cxeprs He noxasaxa MHe ry¢eAbKH B MaAeHbKYIO TpOAAeM6YCHYIO ABepu;y! Ilorosopa CO MHOM qYAHbIMH CAOBaMH, KaK HHKTO He YMeeT Y Hac B rrpeAMeCTb5IX, Aa BeAb H B 3AaqHbIX MecTax 60AbIIIe MOAqaT aa U;BeTHOM 6YMaroM.

HeT, HeT, 5I He rrOBeAY Te65I sepes aBT06YCHoe KOAbU;0. TbI H caxa rOBopHIIIb qYAHO, Aa H He JKHBeIIIb TbI B rrpeAMeCTb5IX H He MeH5IeIIIb qYAOK AOMa Y CbITOM TeTKH. CKOPO 5I H BOBce yil:Ay OTCIOAa, MHe 6YAeT rrpH5ITHO BcrrOMHHaTb, KaK TbI AhIIIIeIIIb H AJKeIIIb CKAOH5I5ICb K CTOMKe, KaK TbI ropnre scex IIAaqeIIIb. TbI MHe rosopaxa: HOqb, Mara soer rrOA3a5I IIOA rrOAaMH. TbI MHe rosopnxa: AeHb, MaHJKeTbI acrpenaurcs, KaK rroMAY aa paoory! B03bMH MeH5I C C060M, KaK see KOB60H scex AeByIIIeK H3 rrpeAMecTHM - BAaAb OT B06rrbI, OT TeTKH, OT CMepTH, OT MaHJKeT, KYM Hac YB035IT KOB60H.

HeT, AI06HMa5I, Aa TbI rAyrreHbKa5I, KOB60H anxoro He YB035IT, Y KOB60eB BbIIIIHT-BbIKOAOT CAdAKHM 06pa3 qYJKOM AeBbI H OHH BeqHO IIIA5IIOTC5I TaHU;Y5I na Mecre, CTapa5ICb He BCTpeTHTb HH ee, HH KaKYIO-APyryw.

He OqeHb-TO H XOTeAOCb.

A MHe oseas XOTeAOCb, H 5I B3M 6bI Te65I, 6AHCTaTeAbHa5I C rp5I3HbIMH MaHJKeTaMH, Aa BeAh 5I He KOB60H. Mycraar MOM 60HTC5I Boorrsr, B cYMKe pJKaBeIOT AOKYMeHTbI H 5I rOBopIO C ncaxaarpaxra rro YTpaM, cxsnny HX rrTHqbH roxoca H30 ncex CTeTOCKorrOB.

TaK qTO JKe C HaMH 6YAeT? 0 APHdAHa, ecrs AH Y Te65I C C060M HHTKa? A HroAKa?

99

QI1PK AI1AETAHTOB (OPAeH)

124

3aWIMK - C0.I\AaT, BbIrOpeBIIIMe BOAOCbI, CKAOHeH K roAOBHOH 60.lill IIpM KOTOPOH IIepeB5I3bIBaeT A06 6MHT006pa3HOH TP5IIIKOH (He IIIap<pOM M He U;BeTHbIM AOCKyrOM). )KaJKAeT IIOBOAOB AM CTp~aHM5I M IIp05IBAeHM5I A06poCOBeCTHOCTM, a TaIOKe AM IIOABeAeHM5I MTorOB. Hrpaer poxs 6eAHoro - cpasy CO.I\AaTa M CTYAeHra - HO 3HaIOID;ero TOAK B YAOBOAbCTBM5IX 'IeAOBeKa. Y Hero IIOTeIOT PYKM, A06 HM3KMH, Tpam'leCKMe 6pOBM.

EeAO'lKa - HaMepeHHO IIH<paHTMAbHa5I, IIOCT05IHHO KaK 6bI KOCMTC5I B IIpeAIIOAaraeMyro KaMepy. HOCMT 0AeJKAY, C'be3)KaIOID;yro C Me'l, pa3Ho06pa3HO KypMT. I1HToHaU;MM IIpeYBeAM'IeHbI M IIPOBMHU;MaAbHbI. CHorCIIIM6aTeAbHa5I AOBep'lMBOCTb M IIOKOPHOCTb CYAb6e COCTaBMIOT ee IIIapM.

OOAKOBHMK I'apcaa Mapxsc - MOAOAOH 'IeAOBeK AeT TpMAD;aTM ABYX, C 6AeAHbIM )KMpHOBaTbIM MeAKOreHMTaAbHbIM TeAOM, OAHOBpeMeHHO cyeT.IillBbIH M CKY'IaIOID;MH. Co CTOPOHbI Ka:lKeTC5I, 'ITO OH 6bICTPO 6eraeT. OPM ce6e MMeeT O'lKM, IIIeHHbIH IIAaTOK M MHO)KeCTBO APymx He60AbIIIMX IIpeAMeTOB.

E)KM KAeMeHTMH M <I:>oKa - CBMTa OOAKOBHMKa - 3aMbIIIIMIOID;Me HeA06poe cTapo06pa3HbIe IIOAPOCTKM C COOTBeTCTByroID;MMM CTpM)KKaMM. fAYM./illBO-MCIIOAHMTeAbHbI.

AOIIIaAb - IIpMH~e)KMT OOAKOBHMKY, HeOIIpeAeAeHHoro IIOAa, MHAM<P<PMpearaoe M rpOM03AKoe cymecrso. Pa3rOBapMBaeT C BMAOM AOIII~.

EYAYAaH - KOBapHbIH M XMTpbIH a3ep6aHA:lKaHeu;, C06AIOAaeT HeHTpaAbHyro II03MU;MIO IIO OTHOIIIeHMIO KO scejr, T.K. AaBHO OT'la5IAC5I. Ero 3BepMHbIe IIOB~KM

100

BbI3bIBaIOT Y 3pMTeM MAAI03MIO, 6YATO 6bI OH 'ITO-TO BpoAe asropa M.Iill <I:>opTYHbI.

Cocean 3aH'IMKa - MeAKMe aKTMBHbIe AIOAM, B IIPOTMBOIIOAO)KHOCTb

Coceaasr EeAO'lKM - AaBHO IIpMIIIeAIIIMM B OT'la5IHbe OT EeAO'lKM II KOMMYHaAbHbIX ycxyr,

101

HY, fEPOH ...

Ha CaMOM AeAe, 3TOT He60AbllIOM rr)"IerAa3hIM MOAOAOM 'IeAOBeK 6hlA He TaK Y)K MaA C060M H He TaK Y)K 6AM3KO CTaBHA P030Bhle HOrM npa xOAh6e, M H BOpOBaTh OTAM'IHO YMeA, a TaHIJ;eBaA HeO)KHAaHHO, KpynI rrAe'IaMH KaK OAeCCKHM AOX. LJeM-To OH 3aCAY)KHA nama aacxennor H npespeane H 6pe3rAMByro 3aBHCTh. PeKAaMa, npanaa, CHAbHO rrOBAM5IAa aa ero MHPOB033peHHe, He OCTaBHB Aa/Ke MeCTa XOT5I 6hl rOAMBYACKOM CAMBO'IHOM MOPaAH.

TaK, nanpaxep, aamero MaAhlllIa AI06HAa XOpOllIa5I )KeHIIJ;HHa, TaKa5I XOPOmaa - eM 6hI peKAaMHpOBaTh CTHpaAbHhlM nopomox, a He AI06HAa Y)K TaKa5I rrAOXa5I - rrp5IMO rrOTeHIJ;HaAbHa5I y6HMIJ;a MaMKAa A,/KeKcOHa. OHa AI06HAa APYroro - B CMhlCAe COBceM APyroro, OH TaK OTAM'IaAC5I OT MaAbIllIOBhlX npeacrasxeHHM, 'ITO He nonax 6hl H B nporpaaxy "OHH yrrOTpe6A5IIOT XOAeCTepOA". Maxam, KOHe'IHO, AI06HA 3TY IIAOXyro - H CTPaAaA HeYMepeHHO H cyeTAMBO. 3pa'IKH ero KypHHhIX rxas CY)KaAHCh H paCllIHp5IAHCh, KaK Y 3aAepraHHOM c06aKH TIaBAoBa, H OH Y)Ke He 3aHKaAC5I, a TaK - Bo06IIJ;e 3p5I ABHraA pTOM. Me/KAY rrpO'IHM, OH KOrAa-TO )"IHAC5I na ncrrpaxe MIT H eCAM 6hI He ra ropecraas He)KHOCTh K ce6e, KOTOPyro AIOAH 'IaCTO rryraror C HHTeAAHreHTHOCThIO HAM TaM AI060BhIO, 6hlA 6hl HCTOPHKOM snaere AM B xaxare H C rrOKopHOM )KeHoH. Ho nam, C rr03BOAeHH5I CKa3aTh, xpomxa Ilaxec MeTaAC5I, rpapnesax, MeH5IA IJ;BeT CBOHX 'IYAHhIX xpacnux cpeHHhIX BOAOC H 60Aee yTOMHAC5I OT BhlAYMOK 0 ce6e 'IeM OT CKYAHhIX, npnaaaarecs, BhI, 06e, C06hITHM.

11 TaK, BhlMA5I H3 eBpeMcKoM KBa3HTIOphMhI, OH AOKaTHAC5I AO BCTpe'IH co CBOeM nxoxoa, Aa)Ke xyx;e Hero caxoro, reponneii (XH-XH). A OHa 6hlAa pOKOBa5I )KeHIIJ;HHa, HeCMOTp5I na 06IIJ;yro IIAIOraBOCTh H rpssaue HOrTH.

11 KypHHhlM aam MaAb'IHK 3aAPO)KaA. 3aAOXHYAC5I H eABa He )KeHHAC5I aa XOpomeii, POBHO ero COAep)KaBllIeM KpaCaBHIJ;e 6AOHAHHKe. TyT sa MOHM rrAe'IOM BCTaeT llIeCTHKphlAa5I TIeTPYIIIeBCKa5I - XOpOllIa5I HeMeAAeHHO pOAHAa MaAbIllIY ChIHa, a rrAOXa5I CAeAaAa MeAHIJ;HHCKH HerrOCTH)KHMyro cepmo a60pTOB, TOAbKO rrOTOMY, 'ITO eM HpaBHAC5I 06IIJ;HM HapK03. Ax, HO OHa rrpOH3HOCHAa CAOBa A/KH,

124

102

He)KHeMllieM He)KeAM CTpOra5I KAaCCHKa AI06BH. AaCKH HX 6hIAH TpOraTeAbHO HerrpHAWIHhI. Hy, OHa nxaxaxa H YAhI6aAaCh, KaK )KHBa5I, HO Maxsnn AOraAbIBaAC5I rrO'IeMY. Maxunr HeHaB5I3'IHBO rrOrrhITaAC5I ee y6HTh, He3aMeTHO AA5I ce65I, HO nrarxoe na nepssrit B3rA5IA 3AopOBhe YCT05IAO, a OHa TYT KCTaTH H yrrIAa. Bce CKOMKaAOCh - H Hallie rrOBeCTBOBaHHe, H )KH3Hh He3aAa'IAMBOrO rrepCOHa)Ka, Aa eIIJ;e H noroza CTaAa AeTH5I5I, xoraa BO CHe )KMellIhC5I K rrpOXAaAHhIM CTeHaM. Csnr MaAblllIa Ha)"IHAC5I XOAHTh, Aep)KaCh sa 60PTHK pecnexraoexsnoro MaHe)Ka, ero XOpOllIa5I srars rrpOAOA/KaAa C'IHTaTh KPOlliKY Llaxeca HHTeMHreHTOM H rrOMep)KHBaTh MaTepHaAhHO, a 'ITO AO BhI)KHBllIeM HCTep3aBllIeM MaAhlllIa HaxaAKH - HY, OHa TaK )Ke POBHO H He)KHO OTHOCHTC5I K OKpY)KaIOIIJ;HM AIOA5IM, c6HThlM CAMBKaM H ApyrHM CBOHM MaAeHhKHM PaAOCT5IM. TOAhKO CTHXH 13POACKOro B5IAO aCCOIJ;HHPYIOTC5I Y Hee C M)"IHTeAhHhIM rrpodmxex MaAblllIa, rAe H03APH pmpMyroTC5I rrOAHOIJ;eHHO C rAa3aMH. 11 OHa YAbI6aeTC5I.

ABTOP )KeAaeT scex C'IaCTh5I, KaK AI06HMhIM MaAbIlliOM AOBAaTOB. ABTOP BrrOAHe HCKpeHHO CO)KaAeeT, 'ITO HH'IerO Orr5ITh He rrpHAYMaA, a nee KaK 6hIAO. ABTOP, anposex, He HaAeeTC5I, 'ITO ace KOH'IHTC5I xoporno,

103

M€SSIA)K

AeHHc! KaK TbI AYMaellIb, aa KaKHe AeHbrH 51 IIOKpaIIIY BOAOCbI? TbI CKa3aA, 'ITO TbI IIPHAellib B II51Tb. I.I.J;ac CeMb - 7. LITO TbI ce6e AYMaellIb? 51 B OTtIa5IHHH - Aa, H BOAOCbI Y)Ke 6pOCalOTC51 J\.lOA5IM B rxasa, LITO OHH ce6e IIOAYMalOT? OHH IIOAYMalOT - HllIb, OHa 3a C060H He CAeAHT. LITO OHa ce6e AYMaeT? ..

124

YBA!

104

j.

KOMMEHTAPIiIi

fOTOBlI 3TO H3AaHHe, 1I 1i36paA eAHHCTBeHHO B03MO)KHhIH npaannn OTCeBa: B cxysae pa3HO'!TeHHH OCTaHaBAliBaThClI na A)"lIIIeM. 51 He )"leHhlH, POAMClI He B KHIi)KHOM nrxarpy, a OT MaMhI, BrrOAHe )KHBhIM, K TOMY )Ke rr03TOM, H JIlO6hIe lIKo6hl naysnsre npereasaa - AeCKaTh, MhI 3HaeM TaK, a y Te611 He TaK - AeI"Ie npaoepess AJ\.lI ApyrHX. A TeM, KTO CAhlIIIHT, 06'hllCHIO: r-a MeD; rOTOBHA MaHAeAhIIITaMa B "HoBOH 6-Ke nosra", HaIIIeA asrorperp. ypa! - B arore: ncnoprax crnxorsopeaae. KCTaTH, HH OAHH '!eAOBeK He HMeA H He HMeeT npasa nroprarscs B CTHXH AHe'!KH. KpOMe MeHlI. TaKOBa BOAll rrOKoHHoH.

TIPH Ha60pe scero xopnyca cotipamra MHOIO )"lHThlBaAliCh KOMrrhlOTepHhle BepCHH, 60AhIIIyJO xacrs KOTOPhIX MO)KHO C'!HTaTh reneps YCTapeBIIIHMH, rry6A1iKaD;HH, pacnexarxa KHHrH C aBTopCKIiMH npaaxexa, asrorparpsr HAii KcepOKChI C HHX. TIpo6AeMa naaeorperpasecxoa YHH<:j;lHKaD;IiH TeKCTOB, a HMeHHO - Y3eA HeAOYMeHIiH rro rrOBOAY cnocooos aanaceaaa Ka)KAoro KOHKpeTHoro CTHX. - 3Ta npooxena HaCTOllru;HM 1i3AaHHeM npaxraxecxa pemena, rro KpaHHeH Mepe, TaKOBO Moe "6e3yrrpe'!Hoe 3a6AYJKAeHHe". B ABYX-Tpex cxysaax 1I 6hIA BhlHYJKAeH npaoenryrs K TeXHHKe KOM6HHHpOBaHHoro aaoopa, OrAllAhlBallCh npn 3TOM aa npn)KH3HeHHhle rry6AHKaD;HH. Eru;e B pllAe cxyxaes, rAe A npocaxa noxoma, noznpaasena CTPOcpHKa. TIOCKOAhKY pasrosopu rro noaozy ee TeKCTOB BeAliCh MeJKAY HaMH AeclITKH pas, 1I noxararocs aa CBOIO rraMlITh 6oAhIIIe, '!eM aa ,!y)KyJO. B BhI60pe Ha3BaHHlI KHHrH AHe'!Ka KOAe- 6aAaCh, HX 6hlAO ABa: "TIoAeT IIIMeAll" H "Kopoxescxaa IIIKypa IIIMeAll" (CM. CTHX. %)Kem U JlU)Kem R3bIK H Ilosyomxpumuii lUKan) , npennoxaraa BCe-TaKH sropoe (noapotiaee CM. KOMMeHTapHH K CTHX. Hetiue CUHee). CAeAyJOru;ylO KHHry, xoropas AOAJKHa 6hIAa Ha3hIBaThClI 'ToPOA", OHa paCC'!HThIBaAa 3aKOH'!HTh K cepeaane 99 rOAa. TIPH )KH3HH H B Te'!eHHe roaa nocxe cnepra BhlIIIAO B CBeT 61 CTHxoTBopeHHe. B xopnyce aroro c06paHHlI - 80. B HX '!HCAO BXOAllT H re, xoropsre BhIHeceHhl MHOH B KOMMeHTapHH (see CTHXH Ii Ha6pocKH, nanexaTaHHhIe B KOMMeHTapHlIx, rry6A1iKyJOTClI snepsae). 3a rrpeAeAaMH coepaaaa OCTaAOCh 5 CTHxOTBOpem!H B TOH HAii HHOH crenena 3aKOH'!eHHhlX, HeCKOAhKO Ha6pocKoB H, rro rrOHlITHhlM rrpH'!HHaM, OAHO aa HBpHTe (ecAii y KorO-TO HeO)KHAaHHO HaHAYTclI HeH3BeCTHhle TeKCThl, 6yAY TOAhKO 6AarOAapeH). K CO)KaAeHHIO, MaAyJO rr03MY B 50-60 CTPOK YAHBHTeAhHOH xpacorst (Af'opeaxo parioraxa HaA HeH '!eThIpe MeClID;a), paaucsers He YAaAOCh, 60lOCh - OHa YIIIAa C KOHD;aMH. CaMhlM TPYAHhIM AeAOM OKa3aAaCh AaTlipOBKa - He MOry rapanraposars, '!TO HHrAe He onracca - rAe-HH6YAh lIBHO Aa. Bnpoxex, '!eTKOH XPOHOAOrH'!eCKOH KaHBhI 1I OTKa3aAClI npanepacaaarscs H3Ha'!aAhHO. 113BecTHhIe MHe pa3HO'!TeHIi1l B KOMMeHTapHlIx rrpHBeAeHhl C AOTOIIIHOCThlO AOCTOHHOH HeAeHCTBHTeAhHOrO '!AeHa MaAeMHH EYKBaAhHhlX HaYK - POBHO oAHa He6pe)KHOCTh (60pMOTaHHe )Ke 0 "HerrpaBHAhHOH KOHD;errD;HH" aroro H3AaHHlI - xener CMeXOTBopHhlH). KYPCHBOM B craxax AHe'!KH BhlAeAeHhI D;HTaThI, OHa npaxenaxa 3TOT rrpHeM eru;e npa )KH3HH Ii HaMepeBaAaCh B AaAhHeHIIIeM HM rrOAh30BaThClI. LITo xacaercs nosTIi'!eCKHX aAJ\103HH, rrpoapaxasrx Ii xenee (a y I'opeaxo IiX HeMaAO), TYT 1I He CTaA BB1I3hl-

106

BaThClI - '!HTaTeAh cooopasar, B CChlAKaX aa MeCTO rry6A1iKaD;HH Ha3BaHHe HepYCaAHMCKOro )KypHaAa "COAHe'!Hoe CIIAeTeHlie" coxpameno AO "CIIAeTeHHe" - YAo6HeH. Ka)KeTClI 6YAeT YMeCTHhlM TaKJKe npezynpeaars nonsrrxn AO)KHhIX rrOHCKOB B xparepe "EAeAHoro oras" - asropy 3THX KOMMeHTapHeB 6hIAO KaK-TO He AO KOPOHhl KOPOAll. 11 B 3aKA!O'!eHlie: 1I 3HaKOM co IIIKOAhHhlMH npaaaxaxa npaaonacaaaa, He AlirrHHTe KO MHe C Tpe60BaHHlIMH rrymcryaD;HH, "3TO erne 60AhIIIOH sonpoc, rAe rrOCTaBHTh sansryio" - rOBapHBaAO COAHD;e PYCCKOH rr033HH (sa TO'!HOCTh D;HTaThI He pysarocs}.

fl BblXO)KY U3 nposunuuii ... 1992. TIe'!. B "AHTOAOrHli AsoeTO'!HlI", Hep., 2000. 3rrlirpacp K npeanoxaraaureacs aBTOPOM KHlire.

B ropoqe rge meunue C060Pbl... 1988. TIe'!. B "Cmrypre" , Hep., 1997. POCcliHcKHe CTHXH.

B qetu. mopscectuea ssexmpocsetna ... 1988. TIe'!. B "Casrypre", Hep., 1997. Poccnacxae CTHXH. TIPH rrOAfOTOBKe KHlirH A HeO)KIiAaHHO BHeCAa nonpasxy B 9 CTpOKy: HO BCflKUU pa: B CnAOlUHOM noxoe. TIpeAhIAyru;IiH rrpeArrO'!TIiTeAhHeH, aa MOH B3rAllA.

HeCKOJlhKO cneptnnux cmpox ... 1990. TIe'!. B "Cnxrypre'', Hep., 1997.

OgeJKga paxam JlYKYMa ... 1990. TIe'!. B "Cnxereaaa" NQ 6, Hep., 1999. Y Hac cxerxa OTAIi'!a- 1Oru;IiHClI sapaaar. B )KYPHaAhHOH rry6A1iKaD;1i1i 4-1I CTpOKa CHli3Y Ha'!IiHaAaCh Hem He mpetioeatiiesuna ... A rosopaxa KaK-TO, '!TO ecrs ABe npaas;a B crpo-nce, HO 1i3 HIiX HaAO BhI6paTh TOAhKO OAHy. BOT OHa. BhlHOCIiTh nepnyro CTpOKy B nassanae AHe'!Ke He XOTeAOCb.

%)Kem U JlUJKem R3blK ... 1991. TIe'!. B "Cnxypre", Hep., 1997. KaK Y)Ke roaopaxocs BO scryn, crarse, KOpOJleBCKaR iuxypa lUMeJlfl - npeznoxaraexoe aaasaaae rOToBliBIIIeHC5! KHlifli. Y)Ke 3AeCh, B pamrex ee CTIiX., npospauea MOMeHT Bli31i0HepCTBa - KaK Hii KPYTIi, He KmO-Hu6ygb, a 51 Aep)KY nepez, aero pes» 0 cuepmu lUMeJlfl U nYJle npepBaBlUeu ero nOJlem. Paccmesennan lUKYpa nOBepJKeHHOrO lUMeJlfl - IiMeHHO 3Ta KHlira (CM. TaKJKe KOMM. K He6u,y CUHeMY). ABepb B 3-H CTpOKe - npoex, ru;eAh, CB1I3YJOru;al! )K1i3Hh Ii cxeprs KOPIiAOPOM CHOBIiAeHIiH. 3TO - rrepBhlH Y3eAOK, CAeAIiTe sa HIiThlO.

TaM xpaeeeqnecxuii My3eu ... 1991. TIe'!. B "Caxypre", 1997.

cnemana ecms cnemanv ... 1991. Ilyoxaxyercs anepnsre.

ionnam 6ecnpu30pHblU MOrUJlh~UK ... 1992. TIe'!. B "CIIAeTeHIiIi" NQ 6, Hep., 1999.

5I 6ygy pannuii cepuii '-lau ... 1992. TIe'!. B "Cnsrypre", 1997. B KHIiJKHOM sapnanre, nonasaxy BhI'!epKHYTal! 6hIAO nsraa crpoxa, B311Ta B cKo6KIi.

OmcmYnAeHUe mbMbl na nosopom sa /lampyH ... 1991. TIe'!. B "06IiTaeMOM ocrpose" NQ 2, Hep., 1991 (1iIOHh). Ilepaas rry6AIiKaD;1i5! Af'openxo. Ilocasmenae AaHe 3liHrep.

107

Post factum. Bce CTHXH U;HKAa rry6AHKOBaAHCb OTAeAbHO. TeM He xeaee OHH coopaasr B U;HKA. TaKOBa 6b1Aa 3aAYMKa. Ellie B 1995 Al opeaxo rrpHKHAblBaAa KaKHM 06pa30M codpars HX BMeCTe. HAell: U;HKAa B03HHKAa cpasy rro HaIIHCaHHH OHU B cagyUEflaJom naptu. 3TO CTHXOTBOpeaae - penxaxa aa rry6AHKaU;HIO AeTOM 95 CTHXOTBopHoro U;HKAa ;'~epeMOHHaAbHbIH MapIII" MHxaHAoM feHAeAeBblM. Toma-ro H poaaxacs HAell: coripars CTHXH, nanacaaasre BO npexa BOHHbI 1991. OTclOAa ll: Ha'lHY KaHBY.

Aaesxa 6b1Aa H OCTaAaCb AOPOrHM MoeMY cepsny 'leAOBeKOM, C03AaHHeM, zoropoe ll: AI06HA, a OHa XOTeAa TOAbKO oaaoro OT :lKH3HH - MeHll:, u;eAHKOM H aaaceraa. Ilepssra BHTOK HaIIIeH 6AH30CTH npamexca aa oceas 1990 rro MaH 1991. BOAOTO npocayaocs, rrOIIIAO 6pO:IKeHHe B AHTeparypnux xpyrax, MaCCOBall: 3MHrpaU;Hll: H3 COBKa Hac paCTOpMOIIIHAa. KaK pea B TY rropy, B O:IKHAaHHH nepaon CBoeH rry6AHKaU;HH, A peIIIHAa HaHTH rrceBAoHHM, 'lTO H 6b1AO cAeAaHO, 3Aecb, B MoeM AOMe, caxa JKe H HaIIIAa. C BeceAoH H Aep3KOH xerxocrsro ... B Mae CTaAO COBepIIIeHHO O'leBHAHblM - pOMaH rrpOAOAJKaTbCll: He MO:IKeT. Ka3aAOCb 6b1, see noxopoaeao. Ho aa'lHHall: C xera 95 rOAa, CBll:3b B0306HOBHAaCb C euie 60AbIIIeH CHAOH (c ee CTOPOHbI - aaaepasKa) H C HeBepOll:THOH, nopoa, TOKCH'lHOCTblO HCTepH'leCKHX COCTOll:HHH. He 3HalO BblrAll:AHT AH OHO AOrH'lHblM, HOPMaAbHblM HAM "OTpecpAeKCHpOBaHHblM", OAHaKO TY BOHRY, BO ncex cxsrcxax HaCTOll:IlIYJO, xepes 4 C AHIIIHHM roxa eH saxorexocs orsrrpars oc060, - KOAb CKOPO "OHU B cagy urpatotti uapiu" - "qasai: urpams B BOUHY". lIeM H 06'bll:CHll:eTCll: TOT cpaKT, 'lTO B U;HKA BOIIIAH CTHXH paaaux AeT. (KaK U;HKA - OH BTOPOH, nocxe Ha6A1OgameAbHoro nYH1<llW, C KOT. A He xorxa HHKaK Y:lKHTbCll:). OAHaKO COCTaB U;HKAa 6bIA asropy aeacen. He3aAOArO AO cxepra, KorAa Aaesxa rOTOBHAa xoprryc KHHrH, OHa npocaaa MeHll: noxoxs C 3THM, Bbl6paTb ellle OARY sems. lITO ll: H CAeAaA, HO K CO:IKaAeHHIO, yxe nocxe. Ha3BaHHe, anposex, ll: OTMM ellle rorna, H MbI ycnexa BO spexs cOBMecTHoH HaoTMaIIIb-ryAll:HKH B KOHu;e 98 oerosopars C HeH HOBoe, npaBeAeHHoe 3AeCb. OHa COrAaCHAaCb, 'lTO rrpeAblAYIlIee CAHIIIKOM 6YAHll:MH naxaer.

1. OHU B cagy urpaJOm napiu ... 1995. Ilex, B "CHMYPre", 1997. 5I AalO BblrrpaBAeHHblH KHHJKHblH BapHaHT. ITorrbITKH KaHOHH3HpoBaTb YJKe aanesaraaasre sepcaa CTHXOB, nepcaa, B KOTOpste 3aBeAOMO BHeceHbI aaropox acnpasaeaaa 0603Ha'leHHble 'lJTb AH He BO scex rrpeasapareasHblX KOMrrbIOT. sepcrxax, - TaKHe nomrrxa rxynsr H npaaocsr TOAbKO spea,

2. R MOAeHbKuu RnOHel! ... 1992. Ilex. B "CHMYPre". Aerxo AOraAaTbCll: novexy CTHXH 92 roaa TOJKe BOIIIAH B U;HKA. Ka3aAOCb 6b1, noasxeaaa snoana HeCKOAbKO 3ar~0'lHO, HO AY'lIIIe CM. npax. K naroxy CTHX. U;HKAa - OHO aanacaao paasnre, 'lTO xaoroe 06'bliCHlieT.

3. Mu rosopun na qemcsou ssuse ... 1991. ITy6AHKyeTcli snepssre.

4. cuepms npuxpusaem Haromy ... 1992. Ilex, B "CIIAeTeHHH" NQ 6, 1999. BePHYBIIIHcb K HAee 06'beAHHeHHlI 3TOH aema C ApyrHMH B U;HKA, A pesxo H3MeHHAa CTpOCPHKY, 'lTO rrpHAaAO CTHXOTBOpeHHIO YAHBHTeAbHYJO CBe:IKeCTb, AblIIIHT OHO reneps aaaxe, cB060AReH. IIpa3gHuK HeCneAOro XAe6a - ITeHcax. "HaIII" KOHeu; xapra (CM. HHJKe) npamexcs KaK pa3 aa KaHYH Tleacaxa, a CTHXH, CYAll: rro aBTopCKOH AaTHpOBKe, aanacaasr B cAeAYJOIlIHH.

5. L(Bembl JKUBym tiuctupee ... 1991. Ilex. B "CHMYPre". Bee ra JKe BeCHa, a B J.-13paHAe BeCHa KOPOTKall:. BUHO B AHTeparype BOC1'OKa (CYCPHHCKOH, B'laCTHocTH) HMeeT YCTOH'lHBbIe KOHHOTaU;HH - rr033HlI, CTHXH, rr03T. TBOp'leCTBO, a TaKJKe - oxpenrennsre 3KCTaTH'leCKHMH TOHaMH; onssaeaae CYCPHHCKHM BHHOM - onssaeaae cosepuarexsaoro CBoHcTBa, CYCPHH rrbliH OT APY:IK- 6b1 C Borox, APyroe, B 06paTHOM nopazxe, nposreaae rroJKaAyH sepaea, rrOCKOAbKY HHOH Pll:A "BHHHblX KOHHOTaU;HH" He MeHee YCTOH'lHB: YAOBOAbCTBHlI, PaAOCTH :lKH3HH H, KOHe'lHO JKe, AIO-

108

60Bb, BrrOAHe sexnas. B TaKOM npo-rrenarr nepsas CTpOKa - rpon C ll:rrOHCKHM 3AeMeHTOM (HeAapOM cano C?,HX. - noxra TaHKa) - CTaHOBHTCli rrp03pa'lHeH: l!Beffibl - OHH :IKe CTHXH _ JKUsym KOPOTKOH _:'KH3H~1O (cp. MaHAeAbIIITaMOBCKoe "~BeTbI 6eCCMepTHbI"): tiuctupee lIlJIeHbR BU~eH - rr~~MOH HaMeK na 3HaMeHHToe MHMOAeTHoe U;BeTeHHe ll:rrOHCKOH BHIIIHH (caxypsr}, H

BeceHHHH acrrexr HaxOAHT AaAbHeHIIIee pa3BHTHe B cAeA. CTpO'lKe.

6. Oqna BouHa 3UMbl gBe ... 1991. Ilea. B "Cmrypre". BOHHa TOAbKO-TOAbKO KOH'lHAaCb HO YJKe 6bIA onsrr, paKeTHble oocrpexu - He cpeCTHBaAb: 3UMbl qse - sa rrAe'laMH: A npnexaaa B H3paHAb B H01I6pe 89; MeCRl! pbl6beu xocmu - HMeeTCll: B BHAY 30AHaKaAbHbIH KaAeHAapb PbI- 6b1 (c KOHu;a cpeBPaAlI rro 22 xapra], KOCTb JKe 0603Ha'laeT XBOCTOBYJO xacrs - 20-e 'lHCAa'Mapra, HaIII ~aAbIH "mrx", He rosops Y:lKe 0 TOM, 'ITO HMeHHO B 3TH AHH 6bIA rrpHAYMaH nceaaoaax: metiepu cuotnpu xorqa OHU tipoiiqym - rryoxaxa, TOAIIa, H TyT JKe - spxas H 6ecu;epeMOHHCU: xepaxrepacraxa AHU;: tiepesu U matia« gypHOro l!Bema; 3ameM OIIRmb rossanqu« - MeAbHHI~a MOHTHCPHOPH HaA MHIIIKeHOT lliaaHaHHM, B MHIIIKeHOT Ha'lHHall: C BeCHbI CPYHKU;HOHHPOBaA Hep. AMT. KAy6; 'ITO xecaercs C:;ZBOPOK A. KOT. HaM He60 posqepvm, ecrs HeCKOAbKO AoraAOK, see HerrpaBHAbHble, xpoxe 0AHOH: A36yxA, PYCCKHH aAcpaBHT 'lYTb AH He eAHHCTBeHHbIH Ha'lHaaercs H K~H'laeTCll: OARHM 3BYKOM - a (s - Hal. TaKHM 06pa30M 3aAeHcTBOBaH u;eAbIH IIAaCT accouaanaa: ll:3b1K, CAOBO, a36YKa rr033HH, CAOBeCHOCTb H T.rr.; B CBll:3H C 3THM nposremre He60 KaK He60 HMeeT CBOH OCHOBaHHll:.

7. Tqe HO'lb omBeCHaR ... 1991. Iles. B "CrrAeTeHHH" NQ 4/5, Hep., 19~9.

Hetiue CUHee ... 1991, MaH. BbIIIIAO B "AHToAorHH hnOeTO'lHll:" Hep 2000 B "A.. "

I-¥' ,Y1.,. J-U1TOAOrHH

zpyras sepcaa - nog AOKmU ee ... H3BeCTeH TaKJKe H CTapbIH BapHaHT KOHU;OBKH 3-H CTPOCPbI

mo AU neAa/HO AOKmU ee cmOAewHUl!a nogIlAbVla. Ellie OAHH, rrpeAAOJKeHHblH A na BbI60p: neAa AU UAU He neAa. ITo rrOBOAY KHHrH OHa rOBOpHAa co MHOH rrOCTOll:HHO. ITOTOM 3TO OTKAaAblBaAOCb. Ha rrOAr0Aa-roA. ITo-HaCTOll:llIeMY aKTYaAbHOH rexa KHHfH CTaAa AeTOM 1998. Koprryc orrpeAeAHAcll:. B u;eAOM 3TO BblrAll:AeAO TaK: oroopano 46 CTHXOB, B TOM 'lHCAe ellle HHrAe He BbIXOAHBIIIHe, HO xoropsre HH B 0ARY H3 rrOA60pOK Y:lKe He rrOHAYT, HaAO AOrrOAHHTb U;HKA (CM. BblIIIe) OARHM H3 3THX 46, A06aBHTb nsrs (H3 "CrrAeTeHHll:" NQ 2) H ellle OAHO HAH ABa, MO:IKeT 6b1Tb' CO- 3AaHHble B 3TOM rOAY (6HIIIb 98) BelllH no-rm see OCTaIOTCll: B CTopOHe, He BKAJQ'laIOTCll:. Ta'KHM 06pa30M -:: ~,1 CTHXOTBopeHHe (B xoprryce, KOT. ll: pacrroxararo], ellle OAHO - 3TO C aKl!eHmOM na rr_6Hoe l! ... H, B03MOJKHO, Ilosyomxpumui: uixan. .. KapTHHa H3MHHll: AAll: A 6b1Aa B u;eAOM scaa: AHIIIb Koe-KaKHe AeTaAH AOTll:HYTb. Pa60'lHX BapHaHToB Ha3BaHHll:, KaK Y:IKe rOBopHAOCb B crarse, 6b1AO AB~. Ha nepsoe (IToAeT IIIMeAll:) ll: orpearaposax TaK: Aaesxal Hy TbI :IKe ropaaao sspocxee. KaKoH IIIMeAb.K e6eHllM! Ha 'lTO rrOAY'lHA AI060rrbITHoe npasaaaae: ao-nepasrx, III~eAb - 3TO Aa~Hll:ll, e~e C AeTCKHX AeT caMOHAeHTHcpHKaU;Hll:, TeM caMblM OHa y6HBaeT AByx saauea - paCCTaeT~ll C KaK 6b1 AeTCTBOM" (aasero ce6e! XOTeA 6bI ll: HMeTb raxoe "AeTCTBO"!), H 3aOAHO .. - paccraercs co MHOH, 'ITO BO-BTOpbIX. 5I noaax 3TO CAHIIIKOM 6YKBaAbHO H cnpocax xaxoro 'lepTa OHa MOPO'lHT MHe rOAOBY - TO KaJKAbIH BTOPOH AeHb noer 0 CBoeH AI06BH TO BAPyr - paccrarsca, Ho pess IIlAa 0 ApyrOM - CTHXH, KOHKpeTHO CB1l3aHHbIe CO MHOH ~ ee rrp03peHHllMH-rrepeJKHBaHHllMH rro rrOBOAY, BOHAYT B rrepsyro KHHry, HMeHHO rr03TOMY MHOfHe CHAbHble BelllH OTCAaHBaIOTCll: H CAYJKaT KOCTllKOM CAeAYJOllIeH. ITOCKOAbKY ll: HH pa3y He BHAeA B c~6paHHOM BHAe KHHfH (TOAbKO rrOTOM OHa rronaxa MHe B PYKH), 3TH pasroaopu rro KaCaTeAbHOH MeHll YAHBAll:AH H AaJKe AOCTaAH na KaKOM-TO arane (Aa npaaesa Y:lKe, sero ronoparsl]. BbI-

109

rJI5I.Ael>.O OHO rrOA'IaC TaK: (B asrooyce na TeJl.h-ABl'IB) - BOT CeFl'laC HaAO llCrrOJl.h30BaTh BpeMl! - rosopar AHe'IKa. _ ThI passe He BhICrraA.aCh? - 51-TO BhIcrraA.aCh, KaK 6hI ThI He sacayx. He cna. -11, nanpanep. 'ITO? - 51 CKaJKY rede cpasy BCe. - Bee? Onsrs BCe? - He cTe6llch, raA· ThI raA! _ PaAll Bora, He 06H)KaHCll, AHe'IKa, II TaK 'IaCTO rrpo BCe OT Te611 cxsmry. He o6llAexaci, OAel>.a 6hll>.O rOPAoe l>.llU;O aa xar, II TYT )Ke paCCMel!l>.ach. 3aTeM - BKJUO'IaeT MeHll aa reMy Ha6JUOgameAbHOrO nYHlana (uepBhIH U;llKl>., CM.) II ABYX CTPOK B He6u,e. ITPll'IeM BhICTaBl>.lleTCll YCl>.OBlle _ II AOf>.)KeH 3TO 3aUOMHllTh! TYT )Ke OKa3aA.OCh, 'ITO II BeAh Y)Ke AaA. Cl>.OBO (HH CHOM Hll AYXOM, KorAa?! rAe? I). - Haxero He 06eru;aIO, a, HeT, o6eru;alO, uocTapalOch BCUOMHllTh, co

BceH Clll>.hI uocTapalOch, BceH 6alllKll! .. MllA.all AHe'IKa ...

qow: KaK cmonxu gemcKuX KHUf ... 1992. ITe'I. B "CUA.eTeHllH" NQ 6, 1999.

CKaJKU xmo cmMO C faMMeAbHoM ... 1992. ITe'I. B "CllMypre", 1997.

Mbz MorAU 6bl )KUmb ... 1992. ITe'I. B "AHTOl>.OmH A,BoeTO'IHll", l1ep., 2000. KaK Hll crpanao, II BRAel>. sapaarrr, B KOTOPOM KaJKAhIH KaTpeH caMOCT05!Tel>.hHOe CTllxoTBopeHlle.

rge aHreAa oge)Kgbz 30Aombze? .. 1992. B 6-M "Crrl>.eTeHllll" rre'IaTaA.Cll paHHllH BapllaHT, 3Aech TO'IHee 6YAeT; BhIlIpaBl>.eHHhIe CTPOKll (2-3) 'IllTal>.HCh pa30MKHymbze He6eca noxmu 60Ab-

uuie/iocuoo» noxmu Ha BOJUO omnycmUA.

OgHoMecmHbZU caMOAemUK apuroeu: ... 1992. ITy6l>.llKyeTcll BrrepBhIe. 030PHall 6hIA.a AeBYlllxal B rroCl>.eAHeH crpoxe 3-H CTpOCPhI BCIO )Kll3Hh 3aH03llA.a Cl>.YX AypaU;Kall OIllH6Ka, npasxy rrpeMO)Klll>. EBreHllH Conncan, sa 'ITO II 6A.arOAapllM. CTllXll ara - orrllcaHHe nrpu C MaA.eHhKllM 6paToM. A BOT 'ITO AO rarayaoa - 6hIA.a B re )Ke rOAhI HarrHcaHa 60Jl.hlllyIIJ;all noaxa 0 raray-

sax, 3TaKOe rOHeBO, CTe6aA.OBO. KYAa OHa rrOAeBaA.aCh? ..

MbzUlu _ KUUlMUUlU ... 1994-5-6? ITy6l>.llKyeTcll BrrepBhle. A BOT H H3IOM, noxa eme Mel>.KHH.

ITepBbzu BepAu6p. 1993. 3Ta sems CTaA.a CTep)KHeM rrepBoH cyru;ecTBeHHoH ny6l>.llKaU;llll, )KypHaA. "A,BoeTO'Ille: 2", l1ep .. 1995. CTpocpllKa B )KYPHal>.hHOH BepcllH AO a6cypAa HeaYTeHTll'Iaa. CTHXoTBopeHHe nOl>.Y'lHl>.O rracKYAHO-rl>.YMl>.llBhIH OT3hIB B OAHOH H3 Te!>.h-aBllBCKHX raser OT rrpeTeHAeHToB na cYJKAeHlle 0 n033llH ... HecMoTpll na TO, 'ITO 0 KaKllX-l>.ll60 TeCHhIX oraomeaa- 5!X MeJKAY HaMll B 1992-3 ronax rosoprrrs He npaxozzrcs, B pasypce rr03TH'IeCKOrO BocrrpllllTllll nepBhIH HX BllTOK 3aKOH'Illl>.Cll Al>.ll A 3Ha'IllTeJl.hHO nosxe, II B TaKoH 3KCu;eHTpH'IHOH cpopMe; xponaxa OT'IallHllH AYlllH llMeeT CBOH KaA.eHAaph. Ha3BaHlle, xoropoe npa rry6l>.llKaU;llll 6hIl>.0 orryIIJ;eHo peAKoMemeH )KypHaA.a, cBllAeTeJl.hCTByeT 06 3BOJUOU;llll B3rJI5I.AOB na cOBpeMeHHhIe Tpe60BaHllll K cpopMaM BhICKa3hIBaHHll - 3TO nepBhIH Bepl>.ll6p AfopeHKo, ax 6YAeT MHoro.

OH ynpaBA5lem ropoga ... 1994. ITe'I. B "CllMypre". BhIAeA.eHHoe 6ol>.AOM Ha'IaA.O - CM. rrpllM.

K CTllXOTBopeHlllO COH ... ITo npO'ITeHHll 3THX CTllXOB npllrrOMllHalOTCll 60KlllTeHHOBCKHe - ra-

KOH )Ke HeoPAllHapHhIH Ha60p 3rrllTeTOB.

110

L

i.

I· I I

i· i I·

He scecmue B03gyxa Ka3MOCb MHe 3eMA5l HO cAazu,e csema 6AUJKe

npursnqnee gbzUlamb U rAa3 He pescetii U 6blAO ropso P030BbZX sopnei: 3HaKOMbZM gpyroM

U mbz6blA R-

Ka3MCR MHe C06010

U csucm TapKOBCKOfO He octnueas om CAyxa He raCAa 'ZaUHaR AyHa.

l>.eH~:o;H:m:h;a~~e'IaTKaX He sonrezmero B U;llKl>. crnxorsopeaaa, TapKOBCKllH nmnercs C xeTe!>.h-ABllB~ap~ 19gelc~o Toro 'IT06 MllHHO 06bllCHllTh, xerse cocxarsca; CM. "Ber BpeMe~ll" Tel>.l>.ll' noxepa He rrOMHIO), crarss "Pacnaxmrre OKHa". CBeJKerrplleXaBlliall llH~

renuas B03MyIIJ;aA.aCh - rpOMKO II HeBHllTHO.

npugyMau MHe cecmpy ... 1995. "A,BoeTO'Ille' 2" l1ep 1995 0

Hal>.hHOH rry6l>.llKau;nn ., ., . TKYAa B311l>.llCh cK06Kll B )Kyp-

nn - YMa He rrplll>.OJKy.

Aemum nAaCmMaCCOBbZU CmeJKOK ... 1995. ITy6l>.llKyeTcll nnepsste.

111

npOCbmaUCJl YMepAU RO'lblO nosma, .. 1995. "ABoeTOqHe: 2", Hep., 1995. [OTOBli KHHry, A BHeCAa He3HaqHTeAbHOe H3MeHeHHe - B MypHaAe 6bIAO posqaiom CAenblM qemuuisa»:

ogRa nOXOJKa Ra me6Jl ... 1995. Ilex, B "AHToAorHH ABoeTOqHll", 2000.

Jl gyMalO sorqa 6 U lIlbl ... 1995. Ilex. B "CfIAeTeHHH" NQ 6.

Hetiposqa AU mu XOpOUlO nOMRUUlb ... 1995 (?). TIy6AHKyeTcli snepsue. 51 YMe POHllA TYT H TaM na TeMY ocoooro Aapa AHeqKH, IIOAP06HOCTH 6YAYT HHMe. 3AeCb AOCTaTOqHO CKa3aTb °AHO:

BOT, AOJKAaACli 3HMhl, rAllMY aa ee rOAOC, AlO6yIOCb, ""B TOCKe CBoeM BhlCOKOM"" (ABOMHall ~HTara],

Mbl Ha'lQAU npousxocums CAOBa ... 1995-6? Iles. B "AHTOAOrHH.~oe'rOqHll", l1ep., 2000.

Aary OlIpeAeAHTb He noxynaerca. OPHrHHaA II BHAeA, xorna 6hlAa xaxas-ro BOMHa (HX v6hlAO xaoro aa Baxxaaax), Y A 1I0llBHAaCb nenaraas MallIHHKa B 96 (OPHrHHaA MallIHHoIIHCHhlH), HO OAHO 06CTOllTeAbCTBO cxerxa csrynraer - CbIHHllIKa ee HaqaA roaopnrs 1I03AHO, B 97-M, a AaTa rrpocraaxeaaaa 1I0A CTHxaMH - 95.

f J<1roep 1995-6? "CHM\mr" 1997. XOAHAH CAyxH, qTO xysep - 3TO IIpO MeHll. ECAH

Kf'lep. "J' ••• • •. 'J l' , ..

II MHAhlM - TYT see 1I0HliTHO: peMeCAO Hallie IIpeAaA - eAKa-06MaHKa (a BeTKa na e~e - xapaxyaaa], 3HaMli 3aHhlKaA - caxa BpyqHAM. ECAH II xyxep - rAe MOll xenxa, rAe MOH KYlIIaK, rAe oaec AAll K06blAbI? COAH~e - B 3eHHTe, ¢peHAHHhl - qeAllAb, xyxa - rrycrs TOHeT, HO rAe Me 1I01I0Ha? KHYT CKOMMYHH3AHAH! .l\.OllIaAb YrHaAH! Texery He60Cb aa 6a3ape IIPOAaAH! '1TO OCTaeTCli - aamrxaems 3HaMll. 11 C HHM nopoceaxa ... A rAe uraposapsr i l?

Y60rue rAarOAbl U nposoqsa ... 1996. "CfIAeTeHHe" NQ 9, 1999. Ilepsua HaMeK aa HrAY, AO TOro A He KOAOAaCb. Ho 3TO e~e He repoaa. 3TO "AJKe¢", "6eAbIM" KaH¢, 3¢eAPHHOBall OCH~~a. TIoAyqHAa "IIOAapOK OT AYlIIH" XHMHKa H HaqHHaIO~ero AHTepaTOpa aa 24:AeTHe, "OH Me ee H BMa3aA - 1I0AapOK npmuescs 1I0 BKyCy. C repOHHOM ee 1I03HaKOMHA erne OAHH 6AarOMeAarexs" crrycrs rOAa 1I0ATopa-ABa. [OBOpllT, OH yMYAPHACli OTIIpaBHTb aa TOT CBeT APYMKa, nepeA03HYB roro, A cax BKOHe~ YCIIOKOHACli (XOAllT CAYXH: 6hlA YCIIOKoeH) qeThlpbMll xecsnaxa 1I03Me A[opeHKO. '1eAoBeK 3TOT 6hlA BAlO6AeH B A, HMeA ryxaaarapnoe 06pa30BaHHe. OAHaKO Bee clIoc06HOCTH yxxonax aa anpryoaaoe BOPOBCTBO H nepxaaerrrnoe 1I0BhlllIeHHe A03bI, arpas B MMypKH CO CMepTbIO, - 3AaKHM caMoy6HH~a: MOM TOBapH~ OAHaJKAbI ero OTKaqHBaA, caaero. He snepsoa - CKa3aA, - 40 MHHYT 6ellIeHoro CepAeqHOrO MaCCaJKa (H cBepxoTBeTcTBeHHocTb lIeTAeH HaA rOAoBoH); B TOT paa YAaAOCb qYBaKa aunapenars, HO CIIYCTli TpH xecsna OH A06HACli csoero ... Crpaaaas HaTYPa OKpyrOM BOKPyr·

A, 'leAOBeK U3 coceqnero gOMa ... 1996. Ilex, B "Cnsrypre", 1997.

I10AY0mKpblmblU UlKan ... 1996. Ilex, B "Caxypre", TIPOCTH, MHAall. 3TO 6hlAa MeCTOKall llIYTxa ... Bo BTOPOH crpoxe IIAaUlb 1I0AqepKHYTo C MlirKHM 3HaKOM - TaKHM 06pa30M nxan; CTaHOBHTCli MeHCKoro poaa.

112

tipunasu KPblAbJl MOU K cnURe ... 1996, OKT1l6pb. Iles, B "CIIAeTeHHH" NQ 9. B 1I033HH A 1I0llBHAaCb aosas rexe, rexa IIpeABHAeHHll, oMHAaHHll, 3a3bIBaHHll cMepTH. Ho qTO Bhl3BaAO He06- XOAHMOCTb npaxoro rosopeaaa 0 HeM? A BHAeAa c06cTBeHHyIO cxeprs BIIOAHe KOHKpeTHO (CM. KO~M. KO CRY.., CeBep"blOry HAP.). Caaxexa 3TOT BH3HOHepCKHH OlIbIT BHOCHA TOAbKO IIYTaHH~Y B ee IIpeACTaBAeHHll. CKaJKeM, e~e B 95 rOAY OHa He 6bIAa aa see CTO ysepena qTO BHAeHHll, OTpaJKeHHhle B CTHX. JKJKem U AUJKem Jl3blK ... HAM Henpasqa AU mbl XOPOUlO nOMRUUlb .. , HMeIOT AeMCTBHTeAbHO MH3HeHHbIM 1I0ATeKCT, KPOMKOM cepxna Anexxa e~e HaAellAaCb, qTO 3TO csoero POM sapryaxsaue xererpopsr, xoropsrs 1I03BOAlleT ce6e CHOBHAeHHe ... Ilocxa CMepTH Af'opeaKO, 06HaPYMHAHCb CTHXH, AOCTaTOqHO CHAbHO lIepeKAHKaIO~HeCli CO CTHX. npunQAU xpuss« MOU K cnURe. 51 1I0MHIO KaK OHa qHTaAa HX, CKa3aB qTO He CTOAbKO AaJKe IIAOXHe, CKOAbKO HaHsasre, 1I0Ka TOAbKO aassxa, na 1I0AcTYIIax K HHOMY, HO B HHX OHa nanaxa aa rAaBHyIO AAll Hee TeMY, rAe spexoe BlIepeAH. 11 AeHCTBHTeAbHO, 3Ta rexa pOAHAacb.

5l 6ygy cnamb B canorax B ptuo B canorax U B metisux ROCKax nogAeBylO~eKYcYMKYCBOlO nOAOJKUB U C xuuroi: B PYKax

U ne 6ygem xOAOg MeRJl 6ygumb nog 3Be3gaMu B meMHome

U MRe He npuqemcn 60AbUle upocums y fora gOM U nocmeAb

AAeKcaHAP .l\.HxTHKMaH, coxpaaaaunm H lIepeMBllIHM 3TH CTPOKH, AaTHpyeT HX 92-93 rr. 51 HX CAbIllIaA sepes ABa-TpH rOM ... EbIAa Y AHeqKH 3Ta, aocxantaamaa ee oKpYMaIO~Hx MaHepa a3apTvHoro HaB5!3bIBaHI1l! caxoe ce611 TeqeHHIO MH3HH, OHa AlO6HAa OCTaBHTb IIYTaIO~HH, c6HBaIO~HH C TOAKY CAeA!

COH ... 1996, H01l6pb. TIy6AHKyeTcli arrepssre. Aaesxa IIpHCKaKaAa KO MHe sea H3 ce611 CHllIOmas: 51 HalIIAa, Tapacoal 51 IIpHAYMaAa KaK BIIHcaTb Ha3BaHHe B casro CTHXOTBopeHHe! _ B CMbICAe? OHO H TaK BcerAa BIIHcaHO - OTBeqaIO, He 1I0HHMall ... Ilepso« CAOBO TYT HeAapOM BbIAeAeHO MHpHbIM, 3TO Ha3BaHHe CTHXOTBopeHHll, TaKHX Be~eM KpOMe eme OAHOM - CTHX. OH ynpasssem ropoga... - HeT. Ho eM IIPHllIAOCb OTKa3aTbCli OT HOBOM TaKTHKH - yM 60AbHO He 1I0- AlOACKH, pemaxn 06~elIpHHllTble HOPMhl, HY 3TH, KaK HX TaM, BOT lIaMllTb ... 113BecTeH TaKJKe ApyrOM BapHaHT, B KOTOPOM MeHCKall 6eCIIOMO~HOCTb C AHBHOM TOHKOCTbIO 1I0AqepKHYTa _ 4-11 CTpOKa qHTaeTCli TaK: Jl npUKOCHYCb na cuere U tnpase. Ho 3TO qTO xacaercs HIOaHCOB ars poetica. A II 0 ApyroM - paasnre OHa cxopee AoraAhlBaAaCb, 1I06aHBallCb ce6e B 3TOM npasaarscs. A 3AeCb nepez, HaMH CTHXH C HarAllAHO BhlpaJKeHHbIM MHCTHqeCKHM cOAepMaHHeM, H 3am6aMH MeTa¢opHKH YMe He oTAeAaTbC5!, He 06"hllCHHTb. CHOBHAeHH5! H cxeprs - ABa napcrsa, HMeIO~He 06~He ryHHeAH. AOKa3hlBaTb 3TO MHe AeHb, Aa H KOMY? Kapx AIO Ilpexs necoxaeaao 1I0HliA 6hl MOM Te3HC H, 1I0AaraIO, COrAaCHACli 6 (e~e AeT TaK 120 Ha3aA) , He rosopa YMe 0 ApeBHeH rry6AHxe ... A OIIHCbIBaAa MHe 3TOT COH: 51 KOCHYAaCb TBoeH ~eKH, IIPH 3TOM TOqHO anas, sro II YMe TaM, MeHll HeT, 51 yxepxa, A TbI CTOliA B caery, B napxe, HY 3AeCb, B Fan Caxepe. - A KorAa 3TO, AHeqKa? Hepea CKOAbKO? - He CKaJKY, T.e. CKaJKY KOHeqHO, TaK CKOPO, AaJKe rpYCTHO CTaHOBHTCll, B 2000-M. - XM, 3HaqHT 6YAeT cner. A IIpO cxeprr, - crpanaaa Be~b, BhlXOAHT - Y Hee

113

co CHaMH ecrs oomee npOCTpaHCTBO! BOT yJK HenOH5!THO, TPYAHO uosepars KaK-TO. Ha, nbIXHH, xyAH rOAOBY AOMaTb. - TapaCOB, 6A5!Ab, refie MeHlI He JKaAKO! - Hy saaems AH, AaBaR nOIIAa'!eM BMeCTe. TbI naxaaaems ... ITOIIAaKaTb He YAaAOCb, eABa ycneB BbIHYTb AbIM5!W;HRClI KOClIK H3 ry6, OHa 3aKaIllA5!AaCb OT cxexa, MbI A06HAH cnrapery, 1I nOHHTepeCOBaAClI: CTOR, HO nOAY'!aeTClI, '!TO 3TO 1I YMPY, CMepTHbIR nOT Y MeHlI BeAh. - HeT. TaM MeTaMopcp03a npOH30IllAa, BO CHe. 51-To 6bIAa ysepeaa, 'ITO HaxOJKYCb aa LIepHOR pexxe BO spexa AY3AH, 'ITO BOT BHJKY KaK ITYIlIKHaa paaaxa. 3TO nocxe npomxoro pasrosopa, TbI MeHlI C TaKoR AerKocTblO y6eAHA, 51 BeAh C'!HTaAa see 3TO xyHHlI TBOH ceaacsr, Aa enie C ITYIlIKHHbIM!' - Y6eAHA?! 51 Te611 pasae y6eJKAaA? - Hy, 1I AYMaAa, 'ITO BClI 3Ta TaHHCTBeHHa5! 'IYIlIb C HAHOTCKHMH axceccyepaxa - caesa, 3epKaAO, TeMHa5! KOMHaTa - see 3TO rroe6eHb H ... - AHe'!Ka, KaKa5! CBe'!a? CyeBepHbIR 6peA, 1I JKe reoe rOBOpHA, cpeAb 6eAa AHlI 3arrpOCTO. 3epKaAO 3a'!eM-TO, axaaes. - Hy Aa, Tax KorAa 1I 3TO Y3Haxa, rrpH'!eM TbI see BhlAaA C a6COAlOTHOR HeB03MYTHMOCTblO, MOA, rrpow;e '!aIllKH '!a5!, 1I JKe He xory retie He separs, y Hac APyrHe OTHOIlleHHlI ... - ITpaBHAhHO, AHbKa, TOAhKO '!HcToraH. - TbI MOJKellib rrOMOA'!aTb, HaKOHe~! - A B '!eM AeAo? - 3aTKHHcb YJKe! Ham pasrosop MeHlI 03aAa- '!HA. 51 XOTeAa ITYIlIKHHa ysHAeTb BO CHe, y MeHlI CBOll TeXHHKa. - A. nocxe MOHX npH3HaHHR TbI CTaAa ew;e H cHoBHAH~eR. - 51?! 51 C rrllTH~aTH AeT TaKa5!, TOAhKO He see erne CHbI paCKYCHAa, KaK TbI sapasaemsca. Ho AaR AopaccKa3aTb, nponry BeAb. - Xopouro, 3Ha'!HT, COHo - Aa. BOT 51 H AYMaAa, 'ITO 3TO see aa LIepHOR pesxe, roraa II rrOMeTaIO K HeMY CO CMYTHOR MbICAhIO, He rrOMHIO, rrOMO'!b, nOCMOTpeTb, He 3HalO, H BAPyr 3TO oxaasraaenrsca TbI, COBceM JKHBOR, 1I crpanrHO 06paAOBaAaCb, H xacarocs AaAOHblO TBoeR uiexn. 11 TYT AO MeHlI AOIllAO - TbI MeHlI He BHAHIlIb, 1I AYIlIa. ITpH'!eM, 1I AaJKe He acrryraxacs, 1I noaaxa, '!TO 3TO He HOBOCTb MlI Te611, AaBHO H3BeCTHO 0 MoeR CMepTH, Aa H ApyrHM H3BeCTHO. - KaKHM ApyrHM? - Aa scex. Bac 6bIAO MHOroo ITTax 6bIA - BbI CTaHeTe APY3bllMH, sanra 3HaKOMble - He 3HalO KTO TaKHe - CHerOBHKa AerrllAH. - Aa HY, CTOAhKO caerai - ITo KOAeHO rrO'!TH. AepeBbll onars AOMaAHCb, KaK YJKe 6hlAO. _ EbIAO. ITlITb AeT Ha3aA, nepez, pOJKAeHHeM AO'!KH. - Ara. BOT TbI H nermmeurs 060 BceM 3TOM ... A xepes HeCKOAhKO MeClI~eB (AeKa6pb-lIHBapb) y nee noanaxacs CTPOKH, BP5!A AH Y xoroTO coxpaaasmaeca, rr03TOMY caxoe spexs npasecra:

Jl He eepnyc» B JKeCmOKUU KpamKUU MUP CKpun Ulmop py6lJ,bZ KpaxMaAbHOrO 6eAbfl AbUKHfl He6ec cyaum MHe BetzHbZu JKUp MHe qesa Hem go npOUCKOB JKUAbfl ...

OHa yJKe xnoroe 3HaAa. Aa, He rrOAYMaRTe, 'ITO B rroCAeAHeR CTpOKe '1eTbIpeXCTHIlIHlI one'1aTKa, OTHIOAb. AbUKHfl He6ec CYAum MHe ... - cp, rrpeAIlOCAeAHlO1O CTPOKY TOAeMa.

3AerUfl. 1997. ITe'1. B "CIIAeTeHHH" NQ 4/5, 1999.

Iloetii U IIAatzem orjJuu,ep ... 1997. ITe'1. B "CrrAeTeHHH" NQ 4/5, 1999. Crpoxa H3 aroro CTHX.

AOAJKHa 6blAa rrORTH aa HWp06HY1O rrAHTY, HO AaJKe B 3TOM, Ka3aAOCb 6bI, TPHBHaAbHOM CAY'!ae He see nOAY'!HAOCb YAa'1HO. 51 AO CHX rrop aaaetocs, '1TO OIllH6Ka 6YAeT acrrpaaxeaa H HMlI AHHbI rOpeHKO, nosra - He n03TeCCbI, YKpaCHT 3TY IlAHTY.

• rOTOBHTClI 60M6a.

114

lliI11puxu. 1998, anseps. ITy6AHKyeTC5! srrepaae. Caxoe np06AeMaTH'1HOe 1I3 scex CTlIX., BKAIO'1eHHbIX B KHHry. EbIAO aanacaao A. B nepaoa nepsoro YSAe'1eHHlI repOHHOM, 'ITO lIBHO CKa3~OCb, 1I 6pOllieHO aa KaKOM-TO ararre. - He 3HalO, KaK C HliM nocrynars. - A B '1eM TaM AeAO. - 51 YJKe HCnOAh30BaAa HeCKOAhKO CTPOK H3 Hero B ApyrOR BeW;H, KOTOPYIO TbI passrmenrs. ~ 51 pa3bIW;Y?! Hy, H '1TO B CB1I3H? - CaM saaems 'ITO AeAaTb. - TbI C YMa comxa AHe;Ka. 51 XOTb paa 3TO BHAeA? - HeT. 51 ero '1HTaAa Te6e ... 3Aecb 1I aroprcs. 3TO "AHeBHHKO: sue Ha6poCKH, rr03TOMY - llimpuxu. Bo BTOPOR crporpe A. BbI'1epKHyAa CTPOKH 4-5, a 1I nepnue TpH, pas yJK ona HCrrOAh30BaHbI, rrplI'1eM - B BbIHrpbIlliHoM napaaare, OAHa 1I3 HHX xopoIlI0 rrpHJKHAaCb B npose. TaKHM 06pa30M crporpa HC'1e3Aa. 113 nepaoa CTpO¢bI CTPOKH 3 H 5 TOJKe nepexoxeaexa, HO TYT 4 crpoxa XOPOlliO HX AepJKHT, 3Ha'1HT rryCTb OCTalOTClI (CM. KOMM K Jl cm~ ~"Me6eAb 6AegH~zu gepeBflHHhZU). AaAee, 6e3JKaAOCTHO BbIKop'!eBaH TOP'1KOBbIR ro~ - xyans ,\OMY '!TO, He ee. Teneps aBTopCKHR rOAOC '1lIw;e.

COH pa3pOCCUUCKuii xycm ... 1998, rpespexs-xapr. ITy6AHKyeTclI anepsue. Hanacaao '1YTb pansure uiseqcxoii qamcsoii AOgKU ... H cpa3y JKe BCAeA sa llimpuxaMu. AJKecp K TOMY spexeaa CTaA yJKe rrpOIIIAblM, Ha'1aAClI repoaaosua nepaoz, (3HaToKH B 3TOR 06Aacrn OTKa3bIBalOTClI Ha3bIBaTb Mep30THYJO H3pallAbCKYIO CMeCb repomrox - MOJKHO BeAh, rosopsr, H APoBa KOAOTb). K COJKaAeHHIO, M~e YAaAOCb AaTHpoBaTb ace TpH craxorsopeaaa B rrOaeAHHR MOMeHT, KorAa xopnyc npaMe'!aHHH rrOAROCTblO 0CPOPMHAClI. ITOTOMY-TO OHH H BKAHHllAHCb B CTHXH rrpeAhIAyw;ero rOAa.

_ iuseqcsan qamcxa» AOgKQ ... 1998, cpeBp~~MapT. "CIIAeTeHHe" NQ 9, 1999. C5!Aellib aa HrAY

He cnacy, He cyxero - npeAyrrpeJKAaA 1I ee. A KaK 6bI BbI rrocTYIIHAH? .. ITocAeAHHe CTPOKH CTHxoTBOpeHlI51 ~, KpaC~~a5! Ko~6HHal\H5I HHcpepHaAbHOR TponHKH 1I KOHKpeTHblx, 06blAeHHbIx MlI nOTpe6HTeA5! BHHTa seuten: rocmu C JKeAe30M B PYKax - sapeaae BlIHTa (nepsaraa] rpe- 6yeT HaAH'1HlI BClIKHX CKOBOPOAOK, AOJKeK, AJKe3B, a TO H KaCTplOAb H rrp. 6apaxAa. B xaaprape rAe OHa CHHMaAa KOMHaTY B nepaoz, nanacaaaz CTHX., 3TO BOBCIO rrpaKTHKOBaAOCb. B HepycaARM BlIHT 6hlA 3aBe3eH H3 COBKa OAHliM MeAHKOM (B npOIllAOM) - napaex CHMnaTH'1HbIM H CO- 06paJKalOW;HM, JKaAb ero - 063aBOAHTC5! nOCTerreHHO "rapaxanaxn", AOBOAhCTBYllCb B TO speMll reponaox, AHe'1Ka OTMeTHAaCb BHHTOM n03JKe, XOTlI 3TO He 03Ha'1aeT, '1TO C MeHbIlllIM BOCroprox OT canoro onsrra, oueaaxa cpa3y. MeHlI B nepsua pa3 yrOCTHAH cAa6eHbKHM BHHTOM HO H OH 6bICTPO MeHlI rrpOTpe3BHA. Ilporpeaseems, xoraa aa Te611 06PYIllHBaeTClI KaCKaA 1I3YM:

A5!1OW;HX (rerreps oc06eHHO) rrOAP06HOCTeR, 0 '!eM He 3AeCb. CAeAYIOW;He onsrrsr - KaK paa C 3TlIM '1eAOBeK~M - 6bIAH npOCTO ocxenarexsmr: B OAHH H3 HHX 1I nO'!TlI ~eAHKOM HanHCaA aems, nOCBlIw;eHH~ AHe'!Ke ("ITaMlITH noapyrn"], B ApyrOR - CYMeA HaKOHe~-TO copaenrapoBaTbClI B cyxoype ee HaCAeAlIll, HapHCOBaA (liAH KaK TaM 3TO 30BYT - CAeAaA?) KapTHHKy KaK 6bI MeJKAY npO'1lIM (ll He XYAOJKHlIK, 3TO 6hlAO COBepIlleHHO HeOJKHAaHHO MlI caxoro ce65!) H xaoro APyroro (TaK, aa MHHYTO'1KY, 65 '1aCOB 6e3 caal}, BnpO'1eM, axoynorperiasrr, nepaaraaox AaJKe Bpary He nOJKeAalO. 11 scex rrOTeH~HaAbHbIM axcnepaxeararopasr: AI06bIe cp1I3H'1eCKlie HarpY3KH nOA BHHTOM aaaceraa HCKAIO'1HTb 1I3 MeHIO (eCAH BbI TOAhKO He AeT'!HK Bepxaxra]! CM. TaKJKe nplIMe'1aHHlI K TOAeMY, Cesetruotv, 3a UleCIDb UAU ceMb - He mosxux - cmeH... .

neCHU uepmsux qetneii. 1997. "CIIAeTeHHe" NQ 2, l1ep., 1998. OCHoBa nocAeAHeR 1I AY'!IlIeR H3 rrpHJKH3HeHHbIx JKYPHaAbHbIX nOA60poK .

115

1. fbi qepesnnnast qesa ... 1997. Panee 6blAO nOCB5!llIeHo ARHe KpaCH5!HCKOH, 6iill3KOH nOApyre. Bo BpeM5! nOArOTOBKH ny6iillKaU;HH nOCB5!llIeHHe 6blAO CH5!TO aBTOPOM - H Bnp5!Mb, npa TaKOM Ha3BaHHH U;HKAa caM cpaKT nOCB5!llIeHH5! - qYAOBHIlIHaH ABycMblcAeHHocTb.

2. rOAeM. 1997. !-13 TOH JKe nOA60pKH. Hanacano nOCAe HaIIIeH OqepeAHOH pa3MoABKH.

CTblAHO npH3HaTbC5!, HO fOAeM - 3TO B MOH ~pec, 51 OCTaBaAC5! rxyx K ee MOAb6aM. LIepe3 rroxrOAa cnryanas, oznexo, H3MeHHAaCb. A cnycra ellle nOArOAa 51 YJKe 6blA He B COCT05!HHH 60Aee conpOTHBA5!TbC5! ee rrrrrep3MOU;HOHaAbHOH ocaze, CAaAC5!. T10CTaBHB npa 3TOM YCAOBHe: xareropasecxaa 3aB5!3Ka C repOHHOM, C HrAOH Bo061l1e. - A 'ITO, H AJKecp TOJKe HeAb35!? - 5I BaIII AJKecp aa AYX He BbIHOIUY, Bbl see BOH5!eTe OT Hero. - Aa, ecn, raxoe. A BHHT? - npOAoAJKaAa HeyeMHaH Aaevxa, - T1ocAYIIIaH, 51 JKe CKa3aA, HHKaKOH HrAbI. - XOPOIIIO, _Mbl 6YAeM nars ero. - BHHT nblOT? - KTO KaK, MOJKHO H nars, C COAOH apoze 6bI. - A 'ITO B HeM, c06CTBeHHO, He- 06bIKHOBeHHoro? - cnpOCHA 51, He nOA03peBaH 0 cpaHTaCTHqeCKHX CBOHCTBax nepBHTHHa. _ Hy Mbl HAeM ryAa, ceasac Y3HaeIIIb. A Bbl, KCTaTH, aAKaIIIH npoxxarsre, OT sac aecer He AyqIII':: - BpeIIIb, eCiill OrrOXMeA5!TbC5! nHBOM, TO Aa, rHYCHblH sanax. Ho 51 rOTOB AoroBOpHThC5! C T060H

- Y Hac B AOMe: rpasa, aCHA, BHHT, AOrryCTHM, eCiill H Bnp5!Mb MHe rrOHpaBHTC5!, 6peHAH H3peA-

xa, BHHO, HO HH repoaaa, HH AJKecpa, HH nasa. - A TpaHKH? - He xoraa yrOMOHHThC5! OHa. _ Te6e He06xOAHMa 3Ta AP5!Hb? - Ha caMOM AeAe 51 HX He AlO6AlO. 3HaeIIIb, 51 AdJKe n06aHBalOCb BMeCTe JKHTb, He xory, He rrHIIIeTC5! npa Te6e, TOAbKO xorna Tbl cnHIIIb, a ecxn Tbl P5!AOM qeroTO AeAaeIIIb, He BaJKHO xero - He MOry. Crynop KaKoH-TO. - 3HaqHT, 6YAeIIIbqHTaTb. Cexaaa AO CHX nop He OTKpbIAa, rrosopamta ... TaK Mbl TOproBaAHCb C aero, CMeIIIHO CKa3aTb - BO speM5! AHKoro MHorOHeAeAbHOrO saryxa. 3aB5!3aTb eH He YAaBaAOCb, OHa KaK BOAHTC5! OTKAdAb[BaAa 3TOT IIIar, 'ITO 6blAO rrpeAMeTOM HaIIIHX rrOCT05!HHblX, nopoii OqeHb pe3KHX pacrrpeH ~rroMHlO, BblKpHKHBaAa MHe B iillU;O CTHX. Teso sa MHOlO xoquso meAO, aanacaanoe nocxe OAHOH H3 raKHX, KOrAd 51 ee BblrHaA, YCAblIIIaB: Tsr MHe CTO AeT He HYJKeH! MHe HYJKeH repOHH~; AA5! AnexKH np06AeMa CTaHOBHAaCb ocrpee C KaJKAblM AHeM. YAaAOCb eH crrpaaarscs C C060H TOAbKO nocae Hosoro rOAa. B OAllH H3 AlleH sroro 060lOAHoro "aecexsa" B03HHKAa AOCTaTOqHO H3AeBaTeAbCKaH annrpaxxa, nynieaaaa B MeH5!:

JIo3m noeA co MHOlO BMecme tipuuepno uieseseii na qsecmu He nor OH RM6a om xopes

KQK 51 HU 6UAacb omopsams

U 51 nOUlAa c gpyruM espeeu

a OH B rOCmRX OCmQACR cnamb.

3. B MoeM qepeenuno» cagy ... 1997. B JKYPHaAbHOH ny6iillKaU;HH PHA MOMeHTOB C6HBaA C TOAKY, Y Hac BbIIIpaBAeHa crporpaxa H rrYHKryaU;H5! no nOCAeAReMY PYKonHCHOMY 0pHrHHaAY OT AeKa6p5! 98. MeJKAY 4-H H 5-H CTpOKaMH npooax 6blA aenpanasea (3TO KOMY-HH6YAh ~a 6YAYrnee) H BBOAHA B 3a6AYJKAeHHe: 'ITO K qeMY OTHOCHTC5!? 5I y6paA ero. BOCKJillu;aTeAbHhIff 3HaK B HaqaAe 12-H CTpOKH - rro 3aMblcAY A - HHToHaU;HoHHblH KAlOq, rrOACKa3KaqHTaTeAlO.

4. l.!Bembl:.. 1997. KaK H B npeAblAYllIeM CTHxoTBopeHHH, 3AeCb noznpaaaeaa crpocpaxa (no pecnesarxe xaara], AJKecp 6HA no ee KOJKe o-reas KPYTO, BAaBaTbC5! He xosy - OHa "U;BeAa", HO AaJKe nOAPOCTKH TaK YJKaCHO He U;BeTyY.

116

Ceeetruor. 1997. Ilea. BMeCTe C JIeCHRMU ueptnsux gemeii, "CIIAeTeHHe" NQ 2, 1998. B JKYPH.

BapHaHTe 3-51 C KOHu;a crpoxa qHTaAaCb cmpaHcmByU oqna B u306UAUU qapenux Her. 11crrpaBAeHHe BHeceHO A n03JKe, xorna rOTOBHAa KHHry. CTPOKH U 51 AUljOM B '1yJKue Be~u 10m yguBAeHIlR BU3- JKum (TOAbKO He rrdAaHTe, rrOJKaAyHCTa) - HMeeTC5! B BHAY COBepIIIeHHO HeBep05!THOe, OARaKo, CPaKT: Aaesxa BHAeAa BO caax MOH CTHXH, xoropsrs 6YAYT HanHcaHbl nocxe ee CMepTH. Eoxee roro - U;HTHpOBaAa H3 HHX CTPOKH, xoropue 51, pa3YMeeTC5!, 3a6blA - 'ITO 3anOMHHaTb, paa HX He CYllIeCTBOBaAO K TOMY BpeMeHH (a B Mae 99 6blA nOTp5!CeH TOqHOCTblO ee paCCKa30B: He TOAbKO 3TH ABe CTPOKH BCIIAblAH, APyrrre AeTaAH TOJKe, H 'ITO COBceM OIIIeAOMA5!eT - npOAOAJKalOT BCIIAbIsers, cerrqac, KorAa 3aHHMalOCb ee KHHrorr). Bee 3TO OHa BbIAaAa MHe B AeKa6pe 98, B AeHh KorAa BHHTarryAC5! anepssre. T10TOM, ysepenaaa 6YATO OTXOAR5!K 065!3aH 6blTb napaHOHAaAbHbIM ('ITO '1erryxa], OHa y6~a MeH5! cnsrscs C BHHTa repOHHOM - OTBpaTHaH npHBbI'IKa, H3 nPHH5!TbI.X cpeAR aapxorsr B ~B5!TOM ropoze (He COBeTYlO). Ho 3TO K YTPY yzce. A HO'iblO MbI 60ATaAHCb no ropoAY, TorAa-TO cpaHTaCTH'IeCKHe nOAP06HOCTH H BbI5!CH5!AHCb. MaAO roro, 'ITO OHa BHAeAa c06CTBeHHYlO cxeprs, noxopoaa, ny6iillKaU;HlO B "OKHax", 3HaAa qHCAO (npennoaaras, npaBAa, 'ITO 3TO npOH30HAeT B oceHHHe npa3AHHKH), - OHa paccxaaaaa MHe 06 "3Ab6pyce" (CM. "ARTOAOfHlO AsOeTOqH5!"), 'ITO npOCTO AO MeH5! He AoxoAHJ\O - KaKoH K xepry 3Ab6pyc? 0 qeM TbI? _ H MeJKAY AeAoM CKa3aAa, 'ITO 6YAeT aexoe CTHXOTBopeHHe non Ha3BaHHeM "Orracanao". Bee, rOBopHT, nOHHMalO, Bce 'ITO TbI CAeAaA, HO KaKHM 06pa30M Te65! yropasznao HanHcaTb 3ry senn, _ rrpOCTO He BPy6alQCb. - T10CAYIIIaH, MHAaH, a Tbl He 3afH6aeIIIb? TbI BffAeAa B CBOHX caax MOH senm nocAe TBoeH cMepTH?! - 5I CqHTaAa Te65! YMHee, Tepacos, TbI He rrOHM? 51 Te6e He BPY HHKorAa, Mbl MOJKeM CCOPHTbC5!, HO apart, 51 retie He MOry, HeYJKTO TbI AO CHX rrop He nOHM?! - Aa, Anexxa, Aa, KaJKeTC5! 3HalO. Ho KaK raxoe MOJKeT 6bITb? - C!>aKT! MOJKeT. TbI JKe nOKAOHHHK KacTaHeAbI H sroro qexa, KaK TaM ero? Te6e AyqIIIe 3HaTb. Ellie ou;eHHIIIb Moe 6AaropOACTBO, 51 BeAb MorAa Y re- 651 sopoaars narrpaao H HaAeBO. - Xa, YCTbIAHJ\acb? - OTHlOAb. 51 npocro Te65! AlO6AlO. 11 He XO"y Te65! repsrs. 5I JKe 3HalO KaKOH TbI ncaxonar, nOMHlO HaIIIY ccopy, CTPOqKY He AaA YKpaCTb, ffAHOT. - 5I RAHOT? LITO 6 TbI 6e3 sroro RAHOTa AeAaAa? - Hy BOT, On5!Tb 3aBeAC5!, I1AaCTHHKa. _ BOT-Tbl ... rroMaH, HaCTbIpHaH cysa, - Hy nosexy TaK see, Tepacos, YMOAlilO, MbI JKe AlO6HM zpyr APyra! XOPOIIIO, 51! He TbI, 51 AlO6AlO Te6li, nOHMH TbI, ay rrOJKaAyHCTa, OCTbIHbl.. B eARHHU;Y spexeHH OHa ycrreeaaa BbIAOXHyTb B AeC5!Tb paa 60AbIIIe CAOB, qeM AlO60H ApyrOH ... T1peAnOCAeAH5!5! crporpa, BbIAeAeHHaH KYPCHBOM, - BOAbHbIH nepeson H3 MOHbI BOAax, TOqHee, BOAbHOe H3AOJKeHHe HeCKOAbKHX TeM. MOHa Boxax - Jl:PKHH n03T. T10HaqaAY ee CTHXH IIIOKHPOBaAH H3paIIAbT5!H CBoeH OTKpOBeHHOCTblO. Cerozaa MOHa BOAax B KaKOM-TO CMbICAe MHCP, HapHAY C AaBHAoM ABHAaHOM. OHa CTliJKaAa CAaBY H nOAb30BaAaCb npHCTaAbHbIM BHHMaHHeM npeccsr, Bce 3HaAH, 'ITO Y Hee pax, see 3HaAH, 'ITO oaa YMHpaeT, see 3HaAH, 'ITO - BOT-BOT. YMepAa OHa, He AOT5!HYS AO rrsTHAeCliTH. Ha PYCCKHH ee nepeBOAllAH MaAO. HeCKOAbKO CTHX. nepeBeA CaBeAHH fpHH6epr. Af'opeHKO OTHeCAaCb OTpnu;aTeAbHO K 3THM nepeBOAdM, HO caaa ycnexa CAeAaTb TOAbKO OARH (Aa H TO

He rrOHliTHO, HaCKOAbKO OH nepesozj. CM. 113 MORbi BOAax H KOMM. 11 erne: A YTBepJKAaAa, 'ITO naIIIAa ceCTPY He B PYCCKOH, a KaK paa B H3paIIAbCKOH n033HH.

EeAaR IIblAbHaR MQAUHa ... 1997. Ilex. B "CIIAeTeHHH" NQ 4/5. 3TO 6blAa nopa cTpeMHTeAbHOro pOCTa. Hanacaao B AlliAoAe. B KHHJKHOM sapaaare rrpeArrOAaraAaCb npasxa B 26 crpoxe, BMeCTO U HeKHO'lU tpenunucmni - U nexomopue rjJeMuHucmKu. Ho MHe, He K HO'IH 6YAeT CKa3aHO, cpeMHHHCTKH B nepsoa BepCHH 60AbIIIe no AYIIIe.

117

OHa cnum YcneBaiL 1997. "CIIAeTeHHe" NQ 4/5. Hanacaao B AmAoAe. TIpO'lHTaBIlIHM MOH KOMM. BHHMaTeAbHO, 6e3YCAoBHO nOMMeT 0 KaKOM "CHe" 3AeCb pess. A BOT OHa cnum ua uiecmu ssuxax osaasasr, 'lTO 3TH CTHXH Af'openxo 6YAYT nepesezeasr aa mecn, 513blKOB. Haserocs AO)KHTb. BTOPblM KYPCHBOM BbIAeAeHa U;HTaTa H3 Xe3H AecKAH. X.A - H3paH./ll,CKHM n03T, 6e3YCAOBHO OAHO H3 caxsrx HHTepeCHblX 51BAeHHM 80 - Ha'laAa 90 rOAOB. B crpane C aHTHKHH)KHblM KAHMaTOM, rAe npeAcTaBAeHH5I 0 n033HH Y nOMBA5IIOru;ero 60AbllIHHCTBa ny6AHKH npaxepao raKHe )Ke, 'lTO H Y cpexaero 06blBaTeA5I 0 raseraoa crarse, Xe3H AecKAH BblAeA5IAC5I CBOHM apraCTH3MOM (KorAa MeCTHblM aBTOp saraer CTHXH, MaAO roro '!TO M5IMAHT - sa peAKHM HCKAIO'leHHeM - 'laCTeHbKO AOBHllIb ce651 aa MblCAH 'lTO 3TO rrposa, npH'leM IIAOXaH), OTKpOBeHHO MOAepHHCTCKOM n03THKOM H xpyrox HHTepeCOB, HeY)KHB'lHBblM xapaxrepojr H HeCKpblBaeMOM rOAy6H3- HOM. Ero He u;eHHAH 3AeCb. Tosnee, u;eHHAH O'leHb nexaorae. Ha PYCCKHM 6blAO nepenezeao HeCKOAbKO n03M f.-A. 3HHrep (CM. ny6AHKaU;HH B "A,BoeTO'lHH" H "3epKaAe"). 3aTeM CTaAO H3BeCTHO, '!TO oID;YTHMoe BAHlIHHe na X.A OKa3aAO TBOp'leCTBO aexoero rOAAaHACKOro n03Ta. OAHaKO, BHHKHYB co apexeaex, BAPyr Bbl5lCH5I1O anrepecasre aenm: 3TH ero rOAAaHACKHe noarsr - ssrAYMKa, H351ru;HaH MHCTHq:JHKaU;H5I. YMep Xe3H AecKAH, ycnes asrrrycrars sersrpe KHHm CTHXOB, B soapacre 42 AeT. OT CTII1Aa. TIepBaH Jil3 BblAeAeHHblX KYPCHBOM crpoxa - npsxas U;HTaTa H3 AaBHAa ABHAaHa (sa HH<p0pMaU;HIO cnacaoo POHeHY COHHCY). Ha PYCCKHM A.A. MHoro nepesoAHA CaBeAHM Ipantiepr, )KaAb 'lTO KHHry "KpHIITOrpaMM" Y)Ke He HaMTH - peAKOCTb, HO ecrs H HOBble ero )Ke. A BOT AHBHaH HCTOPH5I, OT KOTOPOM XOXOTaAH see AHbKHHbl APY3b5l. )KeH5I COIlIKHH, peaaxrop "COAHe'lHOrO CIIAeTeHHlI" , 'leAOBeK AO crrasxa AHIIAOMaTH'lHblM. BOT HeYA06HO eMy 6blAO ny6AHKOBaTb CTHXOTBopeHHe B TaKOM BHAe, - 3a'leM 3~eBaTb AaHY? TIoH5ITHOe AeAo:

AHIlIHHM pas noprars OTHOllIeHH5I? K'leMy? CTaAO 6blTb, aa znope AeKa6pb 98, npOCblnaeMC5Ia6coAlOTHO HH rponra, rrporyxaxa Bce AO KoneMKH, noxxexse )KYTKoe, )KpaTBbl HHKaKoM, H TOAbKO 3Ta nrycr, - repoaa - TO)Ke 'lYTb-'lYTh. Aaesxa rOBOpHT: ~H. CeM'laC 6YAYT 6a6KH. - KyAa 3TO Te651 HeceT? - K COIlIKHHY - OTBe'laeT. - Tbl '!TO, rpa6HTb ero cocapaenrscs? - cnpaIlIHBalO, cosepnreaao 60AbHOM OT KOIliMapHoM ryA5IHKH. - He rsoe AeAO - roBOPHT, - H Bo06- ru;e: 0T'be6HCb, Te651 )Ke cnacaiol AaAHo. ~y. Boaspauiaerca aa YAHBAeHHe CKOPO, npOCHYTbC5I He ycnex, C'laCTAHBaH. - Y Hac ecn, ABeCTH llIeKeAeM, T.e. He ABeCTH, noxa TOAbKO CTO! - M-M, KynH Ko<pe H nHBa, a TO nOMpy - BhlAaBAHBalO H3 ce651, - nOTOM paCCKaJKellib. - Hy Aa, 6erars eru;e KYAa-TO, OAeBaMC5I, na yAHu;e B ce651 npHAellIb, TaM XOpOIliO. OKeM. YMblAC5I, see-sax O)KHA. - Hy, 'lTO Tbl BblTBOpHAa? - He nOBepHllIb - OTBe'laeT M051 AI06mimu;a, - COIlIKHH npeMO)KHA npaBKY, nOMHHllIb 3TO, rAe "3AoBeru;HM 3~ AaHbl 3HHrep"? - TIOMHIO. - Teneps 6YAeT "3AoBeru;HM CaA AaHbl 3HHrep". - 11llIb Tbl, TOHKO! - 51 H COrAaCHAaCb. 3a ABecTH urexeAeM - npOAOAJKaeT OHa CO CMeXOM. - AaJKe pacnHCKY eMy AaAa, BeCeAaH pacnacxa - YBHAHllIb. TIpaBAa, ABYXCOT y Hero He 6blAO, HO CTOAbHHK XOT5I 6bl. Yero xoseun, rosopa, - TIHBa, CPO'lHO nasa. 11 umapxry, HO nasa caaxaaa. - HAeM, a TO noxpems paasme MeH5I, 'lTO )K 516YAY AeAaTb! .. BOCXHTHTeAbHO )KHBa5l! .. CTHXOTBopeHHe 6blAO ony6AHKoBaHO nOCMepTHO, nO'leMY COIlIKHH OTKa3aAC5I OT npasxa - cnpocare y Hero.

3a UleCmb UAU cesu. ... 1998, aBrycT-CeHT5I6pb. Flex. B "CIIAeTeHHH" NQ 9. TIoHa'laAY A. BKAIO'lHAa 3TY sems B COCTaB KHHrn. Ho nepezyxaxa. Ha 06paTHoM cropoae OAHOM H3 pacnesarox CTHxoTBOpeHH5I coxpaHHAC5I Ha6pocoK npezrroxaraexoa 06AO)KKH: anrex, Aep)Karu;HM B PYKax MepTBoro pe6eHKa (HaB5I3'lHBaH HAe51 AHe'lKH, yssr, He cxysaaao. Ho TYT AyqllIe nOMOA'laTb _

118

He 060 BceM cAeAyeT pacrrpOCTpaH5ITbC5I). B CTHX. cpeAH nposero orracan BHHTOBOM onsrr, BrrAOTb AO AeTaAeM <pH3HOAOm'leCKHX HeYA06cTB, C rOAOAYXH-TO (nogBogHaJl csapa mpy6bl U BUHma). Ho He 3TO rxaaaoe, HeAapOM BHHT H BHHTOBaH aTpH6YTHKa rr05lBA5IIOTC5I BO BTOPOM rroAOBHHe. Iloqseununu 'lUCAaMU AHe'lKH - HX ABa OCHOBHblX - 6bIAH 'leTBepKa H AeBlITKa, rrpH'leM B AI060M Ha60pe TbMa: 4, 44, 9, 99, 999. B TOM )Ke AeKa6pe OHa CKa3aAa MHe, 'lTO "yMAeT" 'leTBepToro 'lHCAa, HO eM XOTeAOCb separs - AeB5ITOrO MeC5Iu;a. Koraa 51 nOnblTaAC5I pa- 306paTbC5I oTKYAa H KaK, A. 06'b5lCHHAa - 4 H 9 03Ha'la1OT 'lHCAO, MeC5IU; H rOA, HO rOA-TO, rOBOpHT, 51ceH, a MeC5IU;, BHAHMO, CeHT5I6pb. TIpoMaXHYAaCb - MeC5IU; TO)Ke 'leTBepTbIM OKa3aAC5I. (ECAH yrOAHO eine OAHa AeTaAb: TBOH - CKa3aAa MHe Aaesxa, - oAHHHaAUaTb H ABaAu;aTb, TorAa yMAellib. AOAro AOMaTb rOAOBY He npmnxocs - 3TO 20.11.2011. EOAee roro, 51 AaJKe 3HalO KaK 3TO npoH30MAeT, B ee cTHJSax BbI'lHTaA.) Mempo, KCTaTH, B 3TOM CTHxoTBopeHHH - AaAeKO He MeTpo, 3TO u;apCTBO AHA/. KUHO - CHOBHAeHHlI, H rerreps Y)Ke 51CHO: 3a uiecms UAU ceni. UAU eocesu. CblmblX norogoi1 ;jemlMempo U KUHO ycneAu CAUmbCJl B OgHO. TIpH'lHHa, rro KOTOPOM nepBaH sacrr, 3aKaH'lHBaeTC51 cepa<pHMOM, TaKHM 06pa30M BbllIBAeHa: (AHIlIHHM paa 3TO AOKa3bIBaeT nfHKTHpHaH aAAI03H5I na rryntxancxoro "Ilpopoxa" - CTHXH-TO npeapexaronrae, 0 'leM HH)Ke). AaAee - pe3KHM CTpO<pH'leCKHM C6HB ¢YHKU;HOHaAeH: 3TO He rrpOCTO Ha'laAO BTOPOM 'laCTH, a 0603Ha'leHHe nepenaaa B APyrylO TeMy. 0 ropoge 1I Y)Ke nHCaA BO BCTYn. crarse - Ha3BaHHe BTOPOM KHHrH. C ursoii, noxarato, Bce nOH5ITHO. TIo 3aMbICAY, BTOPaH KHHra AOAJKHa 6blAa CTaTb, nOMHMO "BBeAeHH5I" B TOHKOCTH <peHOMeHaAbHOrO CHO- H 51CHOBHA'leCKOrO onsrra, nYTeBOAHTeAeM no aAY HapKOMaHa. Oopauraro name BHHMaHHe: uempo U KUHO - Y HUX B cunmesamope _ BHHTOBOM - Hem. TeM He MeHee xerpo H KHHO AOAJKHbI 6blAH CTaTb Y3AOBbIMH MeTa<popaMH BTOPOM KHHm, MeTa<popaMH C ABOMHblM AHOM: xerpo - sena B nOAMbIIlIKe, a KHHO - rAIOKH. Hasexo )Ke sroro CTHxoTBOpeHH5I npocro no TY CTOPOHY, HHTYHU;HlI Cpa60TaAa 6e30TKa3Ho! 3Aecb HaAO 'lYTb-'lYTb OTBAe'lbC5I - 51CHOCTb BllAeHH5I H pacnrarppoaxa BHAeHHoro paaasre Bennr, 3TO rAaBHaH np06AeMa, C KOTOPOM CTaAKHBaIOTC5I KaK anoxoreru MHCTHU;H3Ma, TaK H exertTHKH. AAH nocAeAHHx 0llIH6Ka B TpaKToBKe - aBTOMaTH'leCKH npezxor AM 06BHHeHH5I scex H BC5I B urapxarancrsa, a nepBbIM, K CO)KaAeHHIO, 3a'lacTyIO He XBaTaeT Ayxa rrpasaan, Bep05lTHOCTb 0IlIH60'lHOrO npO'lTeHH5I. Aaexxa KaK 51 Y)Ke rOBopHA HaAelIAaCb AonHcaTb BTOpylO KHHry K ocena 99, AYMaH (no KpaMHeM Mepe BCAYX) 0 "'lepHOM" ceHT1I6pe. OAHaKo 3BYK BOAHA nepox H AHKTOBaA nepy HHa'le: 3a UleCmb UAU cesu. - He mOHKUX - cmen - 3TO sa mecrs-cexs MeC5Ines AO CMepTH, 3aKOH'lHAa OHa 3ry seun, B KOHu;e CeHT5I6plI, a cexa sa nee MeC5Iu;eM pam.ure, Ho H 3TO He see - B nepBOM aapaarrre BTOPaH CTpOKa 'lHTaAaCb Om MeHJl 3a Ulecmb UAU ceu» A106- A10 zoceunaquams cmeH. Ax, KaKOM He)KHblM CKPblTblM npaser aa BoceMHagu,amb cmeH - sa 18 MeC5Iu;eB, oTAeA5IBIlIHX Ha'laAbHbIM sran pa60TbI HaA 3THM CTHXOTBOpeHHeM OT KOHu;a ¢eBpaAlI - Ha'laAa xapra sroro roaa (2000), T.e. OT AHeM, KorAa 51 3aKaH'lHBalO xoprryc KOMMeHTapHeB K ee KHHre! .. XOTeAa Te651 oAapHTb aa AeHb pOJKAeHHlI, TeM caMbIM paCC'lHTbIBaAa HaKoHeU;-To pacCTaTbC5I C T060M, coscex, aaacerxa - peccxassraaxa OHa, npaexas nOCAe H3Hyp5l1Oru;HX HeAeAb, nposeaeaaux OKOAO A·C. (0 HeM AaAbllIe), KOTOPblM 3aAeTeA B 60AbHHU;y C onacaux AHarH030M. - Ho nOTOM acnyraaacs 'lTO paCCTaTbC5I B nanresr cxyxae osnaaaer cxeprs, 51-TO 3HalO. He MOry )Ke 51 Te651 y6HTb, T.e. aaorna MOry ... - 11 XO'leTC5I? - Eru;e KaK! Ho BeAb He B AeHb poJKAeHH5I, XOTb H 'leTBepKH! Torza APyraH senrs, MaAeHbKaH, BblCB060AHAaCb, B TBoeM TepMHHOAOfHH. AerKaH H O'leHb MHAaH, H3 nee AHCeHOK nporAlIAbIBaeT. TIOTOM npoxry, xysnre Bo06pa3H MeH5I AHCeHKoM ... A 51 H nOAOBHHbI (reneps-ro nOH5ITHO: pexs IlIAa 0 MoeM 44-AeTHH, onsrr, ra

119

JKe n;mpl:lph!) 1:l3 eIO cxaaanaoro He YAaBJillBaIO: Kazae qeTBepKI:l? LITO Thl nyzpanrs xosral TIoCAyIIIaH:, MHAa5I, npasesa HaKOHen; KHHry. XOTh CO craea JillC, HO npasesal H KaK CAerrOH:, Thl MHe 06 orrenxax, a l! 0 usere TOAhKO noaecxsnuae. 11 MeJKAY nposaa, AeTOM B CBOe paccrarscz ThI BKAi3AhIBaAa APyrOH: CMhICA? KaK npaxaxeun, rroHHMaTh? - Hy I:l qTO, HeAh3l! YJKe 6hIAO rrepeAYMaTh? CTOAhKO AeT BCe rrpOAOAJKaeTCl!! Aa I:l Bo06In;e, TBOI:l JKe CAOBa qTO l! CJillllIKOM 3KCn;eHTpl:lqHa. - BOT KaK? B cMhIcAe, sepes ABa MeCl!n;a aMrrJillTYAa COKpaTI:lThCl! AO ABYX AHeH:, ceroAHl! - Aa, 3aBTpa - HeT. - 11MeHHO TaK H 6YAeT - OTBeqaeT OHa YJ\hI6a5ICb, - 3aTO Mhl qYAHO rrpOBeAeM spexs ... Bee TaK I:l 6hIAO. OAI:lH B OAI:lH.

C axqelllIlOM na ry6Hoe "q" ... 1998, asrycr, "CIIAeTeHl:le" NQ 6, 1999. CTI:lXI:l na AeHh pOJKAeHI:ll! rroxopaoxy cxyre, Te cexsre, no-xacsa AaCKOBhIe, C 1:l306peTaTeAhHOH: XI:lTPI:lHKOH:. CTI:lXI:l 3TI:l - OAHOBpeMeHHO penxaxa aa MOI:l 1:l3 "LIYBCTBa nsraa". A "n" I:l "c" - HY, AOraAaH:Cl! rrepBhIH: ... Bo BCTYII. crarse mxa pens 0 HaH:AeHHOM asrorperpe MaHAeAhllITaMa. XOTh l! I:l 06eIn;aA rroxaaxasars 06 aAAI031:ll!X B CTI:lXax Fopesxo, TYT HarrOMHIO: CTPOKI:l 9-10 3AeCh - OqeBHAHa5I aAAI031:ll! aa roro caxoro Masnexsurrasre, KOTOPhIH: HhIHqe rpesorarasecxa npasaaea, HO JKI:lBOCTh nepaoa MaHAeAhllITaMOBCKOH: CTPOKI:l yrepaaa,

li3 MOHbl BOAax. 1998, MaH:. Ilea. B "Cnaereaan'' NQ 4/5, 1999. A. He ycrpaasaxa AeCl!Ta5I CTpOKa. Hcnpass, CKa3aAa. H rrOJKaA PYKI:l IIAeqaMI:l - qTO acnpaaazrs, eCJill I:l B raasa He BI:lAeA? B xaare, TeM He xeaee, OHa OCTaBl:lAa HaMeK, nozxepxaya "B rexease''. MOA, YBI:lAHllIbacnoxaann; BCrrOMHI:lTh-TO BCrrOMHI:lA, a oparaaexa aery. 06paTI:lACl! K POHeHY COHI:lCY· 11 aa retie, COBceM 3aHHTHoe OH rrOBeAaA. OKa3hlBaeTCH 3TO He nepesoa KOHKpeTHOrO CTI:lXOTBOpeHI:ll!. 3AeCh 1:l3 qeThIpeX (eCAI:l He nara] pa3HhIX CTI:lXOB H.B. CAI:lThl MOTI:lBhI. Ho OCHOsa, H snpsxs, "OcTPOBa JKI:l3HI:l" 1:l3 H.B. A CTPOKY TaKI:l l! BhIYAI:lA, CpaBHI:l C JKYPH. sepcnea.

AOBlIA ceti« U 6bIA YAU'leH ... 1998, AeTO (?). Ilex, B "CIIAeTeHI:lI:l" NQ 4/5. Crporpaxa ssmpesxena COrAaCHO aBTOpCKI:lM rrOMeTKaM. PhD MOPaAbHblX HaYK - rrapaqipaaa 1:l3 HOHhI BOAax. XOTl! sero s, KOMMeHTl:lpyH:Te CaMI:l. TOAhKO He see cpaay, A KOMY-TO He pexoxennyro. KoMYTO rrepeql:lCJillTh scexi He CTOI:lT? AaAHo. KaKoMy6hl KOMYTO 3arrpeTI:lTh??

Bee EOJKbe He60 B n03YMeHmax ... 1998, cearstips. B 6-M "Crrxerenaa" naneuaraa sapaerrr qYTh OTAl:lqaIOIn;I:lH:Cl!, BTOPa5I crpoxa ql:lTaAaCh Ivcapou aHreAbCKUM AyHa. Ha rrocAeAHeM CBOeM rry6JillqHOM qTeH1:l1:l Aaeuxa rrpoxxa 3TI:l CTI:lXI:l B HOBOM aapaaare, CKa3aB nocxe sroro: Pe- 1lI1:l1lIh caM KaK AyqllIe. - Hy MhI JKe AOrOBOpI:lJillCh, qTO ThI npaeaenrs CO BCeH: KHl:lrOH:, BOT I:l pellIl:lM - OTBeqaIO, HI:l 0 qeM He rrOA03peBal!. - A eCJill l! He ycnero? - B03paJKaeT OHa. - LITO 3Haql:lT He ycrreeins! ThI qTO, HaMhlJillBaellIhCl! KYAa-TO? - KaJKeTCl!, Aa. - AaAeKO Jill? - AaAhllIe, qeM Thl npezrroxaraenrs - rosopirr OHa MHe CO CBOeH: aceraanrparoruea aa ry6ax yJ\hI6KOH:. - CAyIIIaH:, He rr1:l3AH, l! YCTaA OT TBOeH: rrOCTOl!HHOH: AaIIIIIH - a 060pBaA pasroBOp ... LIepe3 rpa HeAeJill OHa-TaKI:l yIIIAa. AaAhllIe, qeM l! rrpeanoxaraa. KCTaTI:l, CTI:lXOTBOpeHl:le 6hIAO eIO aanacaao rroz, rpanox LSD, Aa-Aa, 6hIBaeT I:l raxoe. 11 XOPOllIO, AyqllIe qeM eCAI:l 6 He 6hIAO.

BUgUU1b COAHqa aA'lHbiU Horomb ... 1998, asrycr-cerrrseps. Ileu, B "CIIAeTeHI:lI:l" NQ 9, 1999.

120

He muxou tieqnocmu ... 1998. Ile-r. B "AHTOAOrHl:l AsOeTOql:ll!", Hep., 2000. Hanacaao B 20-x ql:lCAax HOl!6pl! 1998 r. K TOMY BpeMeHI:l ee OTHOllIeHI:ll! co csrepruo rrpl:lHHJill qYTh Jill He CAaAOCTpaCTHhIH: xapaxrep, OHa 3aKa3hIBaAa CHbl na 3TY TeMY: XOTeAOCh AOCMOTpeTb qTO TorAa-TO 6yAeT, qTO rrOTOM, qTO H aananry 0 HeH: (MOJKeTe Cql:lTaTh MeHl! CYMaCllIeAllII:lM, MHe aanaesars. A re, KTO BCe-TaKI:l He AepJKI:lT MeHl! sa raxosoro, MOfYT y6eAHThCH qTO 3a5IBKa CAeAaHa "B CBoeM YMe", eIn;e pea npo-nrras He tipasqa AU mbl XOP0U10 nOMHUU1b .. .). Y nexotnopux spuui orpaqu euCOKU - BHA C sroero 6aAKOHa. TIpoCHYAaCh, l! BhIPy6AeH, a OHa OqeHb AOBOAbHa TeM <j:JaKTOM, qTO HaKOHen;-TO BI:lAeAa BO CHe AeHh CBOI:lX noxopon (/KapKo 6YAeT, rrpa3AHI:lK KaKOH:-TO, BhI npaezere aa HI:lX C cesepa. - MhI? 3TO KTO Mhl? - Tsr C 6paTOM.), csapaaa ce6e Ko<j:Je, aaaypaxa, a na yJilln;e - AHBHoe YTPO. Hanacaaa CTI:lXI:l. Korna l! BCTaA, 6hlAa He06hIKHOBeHHO Ml:lAa, CrrOKOH:Ha, HH TeHH MeAaHXOJillI:l aa Jilln;e. 5I AaJKe AYMaA: CMOTpl:l-Ka, MOJKeT I:l arrpssn, aa 3TOT pas Bce 06epHeTCl! KaK HaA0' TII:lCaA tB6e"<DparMeHThl", OHa Ha6pocI:lAaCh na "AAy". - TIAOXOH: rrepeBOA, Anesxa, I:l CKOAhKO MOJKHO Ha60KOBa? - He-He, y MeHl! CBOI:l AeAa, OCTaBb. - C qeM, C "AAOH:"? - TIOqTI:l norrax, C aAOM. He rporaa MeHl! ... IlITHAh nepez, IIITOPMOM.

TBOU MflKOHbKUU pom ... 1998, asrycr-cerrraops. TeKcT cymecrayer B rpex sapaaarax. PyxorrI:lCHhIH:, cYAll rro BceMY, HeOKOHqaTeAhHhIH:. AaJKe Ha060poT - 1:l3 HaqaAhHhIx, B "CrrAeTeHI:lH" NQ 4/5 orrytixaxoaaa qYTh 60Aee rrpoAYMaHHblH:. 3Aecb AaH rrocAeAHI:lH:, XOTH H KOMrrhIOTepHhlH:. BhIAeTeAo 1:l3 rOAOBbl oTKYAa OH MHe AOCTaACl!, HO KaK napaaar, OH BI:lAI:lMO naaooxee TOqHhlH: - HeT 3aMOpOqKI:l co CTPO<j:JI:lKOH:, JillllIHI:lMI:l rape I:l rrp. 3aTo ecrs HeOJKI:lAaHHhIe paaaoxreaaa

- B JKYPH. aapaasre 8-H crpoxa qHTaeTCl! Tu cmas MOUM CAOBOM (nycKau omqaiouiun B cmoH).

EYAh Af'operrxo JKI:lBa, CKAOHl!A 6hl ee K KOM61:lHI:lpOBaHHoMY napaanry; cmas MOUM CAOBOM, nycxaii omqatouiuu B cmon/mu 60Aee He cmpaqaeuis y){(e. Ilpuen. Bnposex, 3Ta seuts He BXOAHAa B xmrry, A. MorAa K HeH: BepHYThCl!. Terreps 06 azpecare. AeHl:lc COAoBbeB - sa ABa rOAa rroCTOl!HHOrO ynorpetiaeaaa repcaaa OH npenparaxca 1:l3 I:lHTeAJillreHTHOro I:l 06pa30BaHHoro qeAOBeKa B naroxormecxoro xryna, 06MaHIn;I:lKa I:l MeAKOrO sopa, KOTOPhlH: n;eAl:lKOM rrOAql:lHeH BOAe qepHOrO y61:lH:n;hl - repoaaa, I:l He B caaax rrpOTI:lBOCTOl!Th eH:. (AIOAH aaaronme ero AOAhnre, YTBepJKAaIOT qTO I:lrM HI:l npa qeM - OH BCIO JKI:l3Hb TaKOH:). AeToM AHeqKa saaexa C A.C. OrOATeAbIH: pOMaH, rrpOXOAI:lBIIIHH: rroz, 3HaKOM orrnara C BI:lHTOM. TIOMI:lMO aroro CTI:lX., Herrocpeacrsenao A.C-y rrOCBl!In;eHO, cYAll rro BceMY, eIn;e OAHO - BUgUU1b cOAHqa OA'lHbIU Horomb. Ho OCTaBl:lAa OHa sroro "YTorrAeHHI:lKa", KOTOPhIH: Tl!HYA sa C060H: aa AHO xoro HI:l nonaas (B OCHOB HOM ){(eHIn;I:lH, a caM B zrore BhIIIAhIA). AOCTaTOqHO CKOPO, rrOHI:lMa5I qTO AO A06pa I:lX CBl!3h He AOBeAeT, - HeCMOTpl! na orracaeanraa a6cn;ecc B AerKOM I:l 3aTl!){(HOe npeesmaaae B 60Ahaaue, TOT He rrO){(eAaA CAe3aTh C I:lrAhI, I:l I:lCrrOAh30BaA KaJKAhIH: YA06HhIH: cAyqaJf 1lII:lPHYThCl! ... 11 TeM He MeHee, I:lX POKOBa5I CBl!3b B0306HOBI:lAaCh BO BTOpOH: rrOAOBI:lHe Mapm, K TOMY spexeHI:l Aaesxa 3aBl!3aAa, XOAHAa qI:lCTOH: 60Aee AByx MeC5!n;eB. OH eH: aeseurax AarrllIl:l, AeCKaTh, SdB5!3hIBaeT. 11 BAPyr: eH: rrpI:lXOAHTC5! YXaJKl:lBaTh sa 6eAH5!JKKOH:, rrAI05!Cb OT ero 06'h5!CHeHI:lH: B AI06BI:l, - OH xror TOAhKO 60ATaTh, qTO rrpexparna, see, 6pOCI:lA, HO KaJKAhIH: pas He BhlAepJKI:lBaA, CPhIBaAC5!. 3Ta HeeCTeCTBeHHa5I H 6e3AapHa5I caryanaa npnsexa K TOMY, qTO nponepzcaa- 1lII:lCh nosrra rpa MeC5!n;a 6e3 repoaaa (YJKe see, Ka3aAOCh 6hl, cnpasaaacs], Anesxa rrOMaAaCh I:lCKyIIIeHI:lIO, - a rrOBOAoB 6hIAO Y aee rrpeAOCTaTOqHO - pe3YAhTaT XOPOllIO 1:l3BeCTeH: He OTKaqaAH - TO Jill 1:l3-3a aCTMhI, TO Jill 1:l3-3a TPOM60B (AeKapCTBO He rrpOHI:lKaAO), rrO-BI:lAHMOMY, rro 06el:lM rrpl:lql:lHaM. MaAO roro, qTO 3TOT cnenaaaacr caapax eH: OqeHb rycryio A03Y (CO CAOB

121

o'!eBHAHU;h1), rrepeKHCAHB AHMOHHOH KHCAOTOH csepxxepsr (OT '!ero CBopa'!HBaeTC5I KPOBb), TaK OH H ee rrOAPYJKKa AaJKe He nsrraaact, OTKa'!aTb A. (caxo rrpOHAeT, MOA) H aM6YAaHC He BbI3BaAH BOBpe)!51. Ho HeCMOTp5I HH aa '!TO, Y MeH5I CAOJKHAOCb '!eTKoe OIU;YJD;eHHe, '!TO C AHbKHHOH CTOPOHbI 3TO 6bIAO BhlXOAKOH, a3apTHOH nonsrrxoa rrpOCKOAb3HYTb B yruKO (B CTHAe AHe'!KH), a 3aOAHO YJKe - eH oseas CHAbHO XOTeAOCb (H 51 raxoe CAhlillaA OT aee) pa3yBepHTbC5I, HaKOHeu;, B HCTHHHOCTH cBeAeHHH rrOCTaBMeMhlX cHoBHAeHH5IMH. BeAb 3TO 6e3YMHe - rryreurecrnosers B rex MecTax rOAaMH! KCTaTH, xoraa "BbIXOAhI" aa TOT CBeT Ha'!aAHCb, OHa nouns K raAaAKe (erne B COBKe), ra eH: '!epe3 ABeHaAD;aTb AeT yxpems,

Teso sc MHOlO XOgUAO ... 1998, AeKa6pb. ITe'!. B "CrrAeTeHHH" NQ 6, 1999. Teso 3a MHOlO xoguAO meAo/EAO MaKOBbZU Meg - eH Ka3aAOCb, '!TO OHa aasceraa pacnpomaxacs C A,c., yBhI, CM. asnne. Tiissomuna csema Hag rOAOBOlO - ocrpoe OID;YJD;eHHe 6AH3KOH CMepTH. Aoma - rr03TH'!eCKa5I BOAbHOCTb, HMeeTC5I B BHAY JKeHa 6H6AeHCKoro J\OTa.

51 cmQA KaK Me6eAb 6AegHbzu ... 1998, BeCHa. ITy6AHKyeTc5I snepnsre. Becaoa eH YAaAOCb coCKO'!HTb C HrAhl AocTaTo'!Ho 6e36oAe3HeHHo, sa TpH AH5I, CTOHAO aanacars 3TH CTPOKH - rroAer'laAO (TaK rOBOpHAa. Bepto. TBop'!eCTBO He xYJKe nopnorpaxsxos Ae'!HT, rro KpaHHeH xepe, na xenee JKeCTOKHX CTaAH5IX AOMOK TBop'!eCTBO CTOAb JKe 3<p<peKTHBHO). Illecrs crposex sroro CTHX. H3 rrepBOHa'!aAbHOrO sapaaara WmpUXOB (CM. KOMM.). CmeKAflHHa5I rapMOHUKa - nmpan, aa CA3Hre HapKOMaHOB - 6a51H; pusaie pblAbl.!Q - KOHYCHhle OCHOBaHH5I HrA (6h1BaIOT OpaHJKesoro U;BeTa); ll,eAAocjJaHOBa51 IlblAb - repoan, MaAble A03h1 repoaaa COAepJKaT B U;eAAO<paHOBhlX naxeraxax, xoropsre repMeTH'!HO "3arraHBaIOTC5I" oraex 3aJKHraAKH; cmpUXHUH - ero rrOAMeIlIHBalOT B onaar AM 60Aee KPYToro npaxoaa, rrOCKOAbKY HapKOMa<pHIO aarepecyer HCKAJO'!HTeAbHO rrpH6h1Ab, CTpHXHHHa OKa3h1BaeTC5I 3a'!acTYJO CAHiliKOM xaoro, '!TO AaeT nrycaeanrae rr060'!Hble 3<p<peKThI, a TO H rrpHBOAHT K CMepTH; MYCYAbMaHe - MeAKHM repOHHOBhlM 6H3HeCOM npoxunnaror 6eAYHHhI nearpa CTpaHhI; B xoaecax yccmue 6eAKu - <paHTa3M ee APYJKKa"6AarOJKeAaTeM" , XOTeA 6bI 51 HaHTH TaKyJO arrrexy, 3TaKHH arrTe'!HhlH soonaps: qeesmue pe6pa _ xepea 3TOT 06pa3 A. nsrraaacs nepezers csoe COCT05lHHe - AOMaK, KaK Y Hac BblpaJKalOTC5I.

f{ HaxOgUA cmapUHHbze CAOBa ... 1999. ITy6AHKyeTc5I snepaue. Hasaxo 3aAYMaHHoH B rrOCAeAHHe cpeBpaAb-MapT rr03MhI. HaCKOAbKO 51 3HalO, PaAOBCKa5I 60roMaTepb AOJIJKHa 6blAa OKa3aTbC5I B nsarpe CIOJKeTa - oCTaeTC5I TOAbKO raAaTb KYAa TeKAa npepaannaa peas. MQAOnpUAU'lHaR qetusa 0 mpembeu PYKe - HPOHH'!Ha5I oueaxa AereHAbI 0 6ercTBe B Ernner CB5ITOrO ceMeHcTBa. Bo BpeM5I oaoro AeBe rrpHIlIAOCb nepecexars pexy, KHIlIaID;yJO KPOKOAHAaMH (B HaIllHX-TO Kpa51X _ pexyl C KpOKOAHAaMH!), 3aMbICAHBIlIHMH (raAhl!) nanacrs na AOAKY C 6eJKeHu;aMH{!!). Aa6h1 06Aer'lHTb cHryaU;HIO, I'ocnons aarpaaax MapHIO TpeTbeH PYKOH (HH'!ero APyroro Tsopen npaAYMaTb He xor B TOT AeHb) , KOTOPOH OHa rrpHJKHMaAa MAaAeHu;a K rpYAH, a 06h1'!HhlMH, TaK CKasars, 06ID;errpHH5ITbIMH PYKaMH CB5ITa5I AeBa CXBaTHAa IlIeCT H, 0PYAY5I HM, OTBaJKHOH aMa30HKOH OT6HBaAaCb OT 060p3eBIlIHX rrpeCMhlKalOID;HXC5I . .I10CH<p, TeM apexeaex, rpe6. B npoaxxroCTpHpOBaHHOM HaMH KOHTeKCTe xapaxrepacraxa rro aspecy AeBhI qetusa CTaHOBHTC5I 51CHa:

BrrOAHe H3AeBaTeAbCKH, BrrOAHe YHH'!HJKHTeAbHO 3BY'lHT, a AeBKa - 6h1AO 6h1 rpytio, Aa H MapH5I HH B '!eM He rrpOBHHHAaCb ... 'lero-To MHe YB5I3aTb He YAaAOCb, IlIeA pasrosop 0 rrOCAeAHeH CTpOKe 2-H CTPO<pbI - He xory TO'!HO BOCCTaHOBHTb, a asrorpaqi - cnxoun, AypHble orrHCKH H

122

Hp3v6. 3TOT TeKCT, CAeAyJOID;He sa HHM ABa H rrOCAeAHHH B CTHXOTBOPHOM pasnexe B351TbI H3 06- ID;eH Te~PaAH, KOTOPyJO AHe'!Ka HeOJKHAaHHO AM caMoH ce651 sasexa B 51HBape. B TOH JKe rerpaAH HaIlleAC5I He06h1KHOBeHHo JKHBOH KYCOK, rrpHBOJKy:

MegBeJKuu yroA peuu AbBUHOU Pen» AbBUHYlO KpOlUUA cssopeii B 3HOUHOU 3eAeHU U CUHeu

113 MRKomu U nAomu nnca lOpogUBbZU BaM qsopeii KOPMUA nOM! HaCUAbHO CAaBOU KOPMUA U :lmo 3BQA gepJKaBOU

ABTopcKHe rrOMeTKH 3AeCh xpanne sarryransr, 51 BOCCTaHOBHA ABe 3a'!epKHyrhlx CTPOKH H BCTaBHA OAHO CAOBO. KOMrr03HU;HIO TOJKe npmnaocs B351Tb na ce651. A BeAb OHa npeayrrpeacaaAa: CAY'lHTC5I H raxoe, 6bIAa AOBOAbHa <paKTOM "COBMeCTHOCTll" H COBMeCTHMOCTH. Bo BTOPOH ~H~ref, cssopeii AOJIJKeH 6h1A 3aH5ITb MeCTO IlIMeM. AM npacraxsnsrx: cp. XOT5I 6h1 C 3-H CTPO'P0H OAeMa.

Cseq om 6pumBbZ 6e30nacHou... 1999. ITy6AHKyeTc5I anepssre. 'lepHhlH nepnoz, nocxeznea 3aB~3KH. AAHAC5I OH AOArO, OKOAO ABYX MeC5Iu;eB. BbZJKUBamb na ocmposax - rrpeAOMMeTC5I reMa .I10HhI BOAax.

Ytiaqo«. 1999. ITe'!. B "CrrAeTeHHH" NQ 9, 1999, MapT. Moii MyJK npU3HQACR YMupaR /51 nugopac - A,c., AI06HTeAb rrOCTPaAaTb, "noysrapars''. ITpH3HaHHe ero rpaxryare KaK XOTHTe - npanaxsao B AJ060M cxy-rae.

Bcero-mo ropoga ... 1994-5{?) ITy6AHKyeTc5I BrrepBble.

HeCOMbZU JKYK B monuMbzu paii ... 1992. ITy6AHKyeTc5I anepnue. ITo MbICAH A., 3aKAJO'!HTeAbHa5I BeID;b nepsoa KHHrH.

Haqcaqno RpKOe 0 MQAeHbKOe gyzuHO ... 1997. ITe'!. B "Caxypre", OT3h1BhI Af'openxo 06 aApecare rraM5ITHbI BceM ee APY3b5lM. Ilpezxararo )KeHe rrpOaHaAH3HpOBaTb CTHX. caMOCT05lTeAbHO. MOJKHO BCAyx.

Ilepesoq C espotieiicsoro. 1999. "Cnzerenne" NQ 6. 3TO rrocAeAHHe CTHXH AHe'!KH, aanacana BeID;b B anpexe '!yrb AH sa AeHb AO cxepra, OHa 3HaAa BCE (XOTb H HaAe5lAaCb AO nocxeznero AH5I, '!TO oIllH6aeTC5I). ITpoCTaBAeHHble AaTa H MecTO HarrHCaHH5I AHIlIHHH paa 3TO BCE nonrsepJKAaIOT. ECAH TaK, a TAK OHO H ecrs, aCCOU;HaTHBHbIH XOA MbICAH He CAY'laeH - B TepeanenIlITaATe, B HeMeU;KOM xarepe YHH'!TOJKeHH5I nornoxa cecrpa, spoze 6bI, ee 6a6KH (He pyxarocs sa AOCTOBepHOCTb HH<popMaU;HH B acnexre "pOACTBeHHOCTll"). C aapecaron - A. rAHKMaHOM - AHe'!Ka BHAeAaCb 30-ro MapTa, He3aAOArO AO roro OH npaexax H3 ¢paHU;HH HaBeCTHTb APY3eH. KaK MeTKO 0 HeM OT03BaAC5I KTO-TO H3 KOMrraHHH - CTOA6HK ncxpsiaoro ronopa,

123

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Ilposa B coopaaae rrOA6FIpaAaCb B nepsyro O'lepeAb ra, C KOTOPOM 'lFiTaTeJl.b He 3HaKOM. B 3TOH 'laCTFI pa60TbI 1I y:KOpOTFIA AOAlO csoero yxacraa. KOHe'lHalI u;eJl.b FI3AaHFIlI Bce-TaKFI nonars AHHY rOpeHKO, a He HaB1I3bIBaTb 'lFiTaTeAlO KOMMeHTapFIH rro AlO6oMY rrOBOAY. B 60Jl.bllIFIHCTBe cAyqaeB 1I He CTaA npasars rryaxryanmo - KTO-TO AlO6FIT rrperrFIHaHbll? nycrs caM FI paCCTaBFIT - 3Ha'lKOB XBaTaeT. 3a rrpeAeAaMFI rrOA6opKFI OCTaAOCb meers FI3 FI3BeCTHhlX MHe HOBeM FI ABa nacsxa, 0 CYAb6e 60Jl.bllIOrO KYCKa rrpoau (aaxaxo rrOBeCTFI FIAFI 'lTO-TO B 3TOM pOAe) MHe HFI'lero HeFI3BecTHO, BFIAFIMO, OH TOJKe nponax.

EAAArA}{l{HK. CAaeTClI MHe - rOA HarrFIcaHFIlI 1998. TIy6AF1KyeTclI snepssre, BaTFIK (FIBp.) - CTapOJKFIA, BaTH'lKa - re6paFI3M; 3HCPO (FIBp.) - rAe; WHKyH yIIHTyax (asp.] - OTAeA JKFIJI.blI FI 6AarOYCTpOHCTBa npa MYHHU;HrraAFITeTe; OAHM - 3TO HBpFITcKoe CAOBO FI3BeCTHO rrOBCIOAY, AaJKe B XPYCTaJl.bHbIX arxax Ultima Thule.

EPOACKHU. 1998, MaH-FIIOHb. TIy6AF1KyeTclI snepasre.

Y MEWI BO CHE EbIA APYf... 1997. TIe'l. B "CrrAeTeHFIFI" NQ 1, Hep., 1998. He CTOJl.bKO AaJKe paccxaa, CKOJl.bKO nexoe rrpeAFICAOBFIe K U;FIKAy FI3 rpex paccxaaos, rrocAeAHFIH FI3 KOTOPhlX

(TOCKA paccsas nog LSD Haympo). 1I He CTaA nepenesarsrsars - csrposer.

JInOHELI _

paCCKa3 0 RnOH4e. 1997. Ilex, B "CIIAeTeHFIFI" NQ 1, 1998.

HorA EAPAEAHlL[HKA mOJKe paccxas npo qenuu u AlO6oBb. 1997. Ilex, B

"CrrAeTeHFIFI" NQ 1. Y AFIBFITeJl.bHOe AeAO - MeCTaMFI arHOHOBCKFIe HOTKFI rrpOCKaJl.b3bIBaIOT, 11311, Illavap, rrOATBepAH.

LIHPK AHAETAHTOB (opqeu]. 1998. TIy6AF1KyeTclI srrepnsre, K COJKaAeHFIIO, 3TO xann, SdAYMKa cj:>apca. ECAFI H cyntecrsyer rrpOAOAJKeHHe, - OHO B pyxax npecxosyroro AC.

HY. rEPOU ... 1998, anpexs. ny6AF1KyeTclI snepssre.

MeSSIA)K. Foaa He 3HalO. Illrysxa 'lYAeCHOH JKHBOCTH, H3 TaKHX llITpFIXOB C03AaeTClI noprper, rr03ApaBAlIIO C HaxOAKoH. Koro?! Aa scex, Ha3BaHHe YCAOBHoe, He Ha3hlBaTb JKe ee "AeHFIC!" KCTaTH, 3TO ApyrOH AeHHc, MyJK, a He TOT.

124

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B ropoAe fAe TeMHble cocopu " .

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B AeHb TOpJKeCTBa 3AeKTpocBeTa .. "

"HeCKOAbKO cxeprasrx CTpOK " .. ' '. : : : : 11

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" AeJKAa paxar AYKYMa " 13

)KJKeT II AllJKeT 5l3b1K " .

"TaM KpaeBeA'leCKllM My3eM " , " . 15

" 16

CMeTaHa eCTb cMeTaHY " .

" 17

lOHHaT 6ecIIpH30PHbIM MOfHAbIl\llK " .

"5I 6YAY paHHHM cephlM 'laM " '. ' 18

"OTcTyIIAeHHe TbMbI aa IIOBOPOT sa AaTPYH " .....• : : '. ' 19

Post factum . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

1. "ona B CdAY nrparor MapIII ... " ....................................• 21

2. "5{ MaAeHbKllM 5lIIOHeu; "

... 21

3. "Msr roaopnn Ha AeTCKOM 5l3bIKe " . . . . . .

. .. .. .. .. .. '" 22

4. "cxeprs npnxpsrsaer aarory " : 22

5. "L(BeTbI JKllBYT 6blcTpee "

... 23

6. "OARa BOMHa 3llMbI ABe " 23

7. "rAe HO'lb OTBeCHa5l " . . .

::He6u;e cllHee " ' '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. '. : : : : : : : : : : : : : ~~

AOMa KaK CTOIIKll AeTcKllx KHHf .. "

" . ······························ 27

CKaJKll 'lTO CTaAO C raMMeAbHOM ... "

"Msr MOfJ\ll 6bI JKllTb " 28

" 29

I' Ae aHfeAa oAeJKAbI soxorsrs? .. " .

............ . . ··············· .. · 30

"OAHOMeCTHbIH CaMOJl.eTFIK rrpbIraeT n ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 31

"MbIIliH - KHIlIMHIlIH " 33

ITepBbIH BepJ\.H6p 34

"OH yrrpaBJUIeT rOpOAa n •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 36

Ha6J1.IOAaTeJl.bHbIH nyHKT

1. "CMOTPH KaKoH 6eToH ... u ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 37

2. "ABa qeJl.OBeKa sopoaa H rpaq " 37

3. "KaK aanacrse rHMHa3HcTKH " 38

4. "noxoreane CJl.OJKHB o'rroro orroro " 38

5. "TaK nocaorpa eru;e KaKHX CJl.OrOB n ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 38

6. "CTPOmH ollIeHHHK BqepallIHHH carror n •••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 39

"rrpHA)'MaH MHe cecTPY " 40

"Jl.eTHT rrJl.aCTMaCCOBbIH CTeJKOK n •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 41

"rrpOCbIIIaHGI )'MepJ\.H HOqblO rr03TbI ... n •••••••••••••••••.•••••••••••••••••••••• 42

"oAHa rrOXOJKa Hd Te6H n ••••••••••••.••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 43

"51 A)'MalO KorAa 6 H TbI " 44

"Herrpasaa J\.H TbI XOPOIIIO rrOMHHIIIb u ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 45

"MbI HaqaAH rrpoH3HoCHTb CJl.OBa " 46

"xyxepl Kyqep " 47

"Y6ome rxaroxsra rrpOBOAKa " 48

"A, qeJl.OBeK H3 coceAHero AOMa " 49

"ITOJl.YOTKPbITbIH IlIKarr ... n •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 50

"npanaxa KPblJ\.bH MOH K cnaae n •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 51

"COH " 52

3J1.erHH 53

"IToeT H IIJI.aqeT orpnnep " 55

lIITPHxH 56

"COH pa3pOCCHHCKHH KYCT u ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 58

"IIIBeACKaH AaTCKaH Jl.oAKa " 59

IIecHH MepTBbIX AeTeH

1. "TbI AepeBHHHaH AeBa u •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 60

2. Foxex 60

3. "B MoeM AepeBHHHoM CaAY n •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 61

4. "uaersr..." 62

Cesep'sior 64

"Bexas rrbIJl.bHaH MaAHHa n ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 66

"OHa crrHT Ycnesaa " 68

"3a IIIeCTb HJ\.H cexs.; " 70

"C aKu;eHTOM na rytiaoe "n" n •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 72

113 MOHbI Boxax 73

"J\OBHJI. ~e6H H 6bIJ\. YJ\.HqeH n ••••.••••••.•••••••.••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 74

"B .. B \ 6" 76

ce olKfe He 0 B noaynearax., . .

"BHAHIlI,i coxana aJI. qHbIH norors n •••.•••••••••••••••••.••.••••••••••••••••• 77

"He THXOH 6eAHOCTH. .. " 78

"TBOH MHKOHbKHH pOT " 79

"Texo sa MHOIO XOAHJl.o " 80

"5I CTaJI. KaK Me6eJl.b 6J1.eAHbIH n ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 81

"5I HaxoAMJ\. crapaaasre CJl.OBa " 82

"CJl.eA OT 6PHTBbI 6e30rracHoH u •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 83

YrraAoK 84

"scero-ro ropoAa n ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 85

"Hecoxua JKYK B TorrHMbIH paa " 86

"Haacazno apxoe 0 MaJl.eHbKOe AYIIIHO " 87

Ilepesoz, C esponeacxoro 88

ITP03A

Baxaransax 91

BpOACKHH 94

"Y MeHH BO CHe 6bIJ\. zpyr.," 97

5IrroHeu; paCCKa3 0 snoane 97

Hora 6apa6aHru;HKa TOMe paCCKa3 rrpo AeHbm H J\.I060Bb 98

1..(HPK AHJl.eTaHTOB (oPAeH) 100

Hy, repon.; . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 Messiaxc . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

KOMMEHTAPl1l1

K CTHxaM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106 K rrpo3e . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124

Printed in Israel

OTIIe1JaTaHO 687 3K3eMnJHlpOB

.'i<JioBIRli'kl'll-DIIIIIIII __ II ..... .. = .... ... • ~