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Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008
Page 1 of 15
An Overview of Sex Addiction
The media portray sex addiction as cool. The media are confessing their own ignorance. Sexual addictions are caused by misuse of a person's natural sex drive. The addiction will usually be started in puberty but it can also be developed later in life. Once started it leads to a compulsion the sexually addicted person tries to avoid, but can't. In the later stages it can affect every part of the person's life. Self-respect, intimate relationships, associations with family and friends, finances and career can take second place to his sexual addiction. If the sexually addicted person is honest with himself, he'll realize that his sex life is underscored by confusion, conflict, and regret. The joy of wonderful loving sex now competes with his sexual addiction. The movies and the media portray sex addicts as having fun. A sex addict compulsively tries to use sex to conceal his personal problems just as an alcoholic uses booze or a drug addict loses control over his life to drugs. Sexually addictive behavior, like any other addiction, delivers short-term thrills followed by long-term miseries. Getting a sex addiction stopped is the most important decision the sexually addicted person can make in his or her life. How to overcome sexual addiction is explained in The Most Personal Addiction. Attn. Students, Researchers, Webmasters and everyone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Please obey fair use laws. Thank you. Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com
It might have been only for a day. but they tried . A good counselor can help you identify your past mistakes and help you correct them before they get in your way. If you've tried to overcome sex addiction before and weren't able to. Thank you. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. The answer to the fear of failure is to find a successful approach and persist. effective approach explained in The Most Personal Addiction will help you gain the knowledge and motivation you need to succeed. you can overcome sexual addiction. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. This same problem can become your biggest obstacle to success. Use it to build motivation. You are not doomed to failure. Attn. if you let it. Don't let past failures defeat you. Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. Researchers. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to sexual addiction.and they failed. good counseling can guide you to success. Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. once your efforts are properly guided. . Learn from them. The real life stories and common sense. Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort. Remember that the kid felt hopeless because of his past mistakes. The first obstacle is the decision not to try. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it. Students. your childhood or your environment. Webmasters and everyone else.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 2 of 15 The First Obstacle to Overcoming Sexual Addiction The fear of failure is normal. If you're willing to make the effort. Let's change the problem from learning to ride a bike to learning how to overcome sexual addiction. Providing the effort is up to you. The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes. It applies to accomplishing anything. He doesn't believe he can. Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop. Don't give in to hopelessness. especially if you've failed before at stopping. But what if you don't believe that you can correct your mistakes? Ask yourself this question: "What if my situation isn't hopeless? What if I really can overcome my addiction?" Here's what it takes to overcome sexual addiction: * Free will * Knowledge * Hard work. Please obey fair use laws. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Now he's sick and tired of failing. the biggest barrier to your success is believing you cannot succeed.
com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 3 of 15 Contact: http://www.SexualControl.
SexualControl." Every one of these rationalizations can be overcome. It can't be an addiction if I like it. Some of the rationalizations he uses are: * "I'm not addicted. I'm not. Webmasters and everyone else. Researchers. Overcoming sexual addiction correctly is discussed in The Most Personal Addiction. Now the sex addict is confronted with the decision to face reality and gain the real pleasures of life or flee back into shallow fantasy. I do it to relieve stress." * "It's not an addiction. Please obey fair use laws." * "All my friends do it. The pleasure is escapist oriented." * "I have more sex drive than most people. how it can be overcome and how sex addicts fool themselves. the thrill of the addiction is over and the demands of real life return with a vengeance." * "I know guys who are sex addicts. When the escape ends." * "It gives me pleasure." * "I'm normal. You're abnormal. I'd never do what they do. Students.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 4 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Self Deception Self deception is the addict's strongest defense against admitting he's addicted. All too often the sex addict decides that sexual addiction is not escape and not an addiction. Attn. Thank you." * "You're uptight about sex. The Sexual Addiction Interview is designed to help you understand sex addiction and address some of the sexually addicted person's rationalizations." * "Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites.com . Sexual addiction is more deceptive than most other addictions because sexual addiction provides the illusion of pleasure. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Contact: http://www. It's a way of having fun. The beginning interviews in The Most Personal Addiction will also expand your knowledge of what sexual addiction is.
Students. a fetish. don't give up. Please obey fair use laws. * Download the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Why does he want them instead of me?" You did not cause his sexually addictive behavior. Attn. But does he know? If he doesn't want to accept that he's sexually addicted. compulsive use of porn. You can get through to him You know that your husband or boyfriend has a sex addiction. what can you do? Even if he's accepted that he has a problem. * Give him credit for his successes. * Be realistic.SexualControl. but he doesn't want to accept it. * Don't take the blame for his sex addiction. Contact: http://www. The job of overcoming the addiction is his. is he willing to stop? How can you help him stop? Let's answer these questions one by one. Many times the partner's first reaction when discovering a sexual addiction is.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 5 of 15 Someone Close To You Is Addicted To Sex If you know it but he doesn't want to admit it. There's a special section on how to save a relationship threatened by sexual addiction. here's what to do: Start by getting him to take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the first interview in The Most Personal Addiction.com . Researchers. Webmasters and everyone else. phone sex or infidelity. not yours. These interviews are designed to help the most defensive sex addict realize what sex addiction is and how it's affecting him and you. Thank you. He caused it. If you realize that your partner is addicted to sex either through addictive masturbation. Here are a few more pointers about what the partner can do to help her husband or boyfriend get control over sexual addiction: * Don't take on his burden. Some sexual addictions can be overcome relatively quickly. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Others take time.
Pornography used in conjunction with addictive masturbation gives the sexually addicted person the illusion that fantasy can be more satisfying than a real relationship. anonymous sex. ask your partner if he masturbates when he use porn. Here's another question which will shed light on the real addiction. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. the sexually addicted person prefers sex through pornography addiction instead of loving sex with a real person. the addiction can be overcome and the relationship can be saved. Contrary to what you are told by the media. pornography might seem to be the addiction." If the real addiction were porn. Thank you. From a partner's point of view. The sexual charge is generated through masturbation. and voyeurism. such as promiscuity. The situation is far from hopeless. The Most Personal Addiction goes into much greater detail about how a porn addiction is overcome. the interest in porn fades away. Pornography is not like any other sexual addiction. phone sex. though. If you want to know what the real addiction is. If you want to understand why a man gets addicted to porn learn about the connection between addictive masturbation and pornography. Webmasters and everyone else. Other sexual addictions. Some men will spend a whole night looking for the "perfect" image to masturbate to. function independently from porn. You need to read them if you're partner seems to have a pornography addiction. Ask you partner. Researchers. In the most extreme cases. The sexual charge that seems to be in porn is not the porn. fetishes. Even in these situations. the association will be briefly explained in this article. Other will masturbate continuously while looking at pornography. "After you finish masturbating.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 6 of 15 Pornography Addiction Insights For Men and Women Porn enhances a masturbation addiction. Please obey fair use laws. if the pornography addiction is approached correctly. . There are articles on this site about masturbation addiction. Students. Attn. do you continue looking at porn?" Expect the answer to be "No. very few sexually addicted people who use porn without masturbating. he faces a different challenge because pornography addiction becomes his sex life. A pornography addiction cannot be overcome in the long run without dealing with the underlying masturbation addiction. if the addiction is approached correctly. he'd still be using it even after he finished masturbating. If the sexually addicted person is not in a relationship. there are millions of sex addicts who have no interest in porn. It is usually associated with a masturbation addiction. If the masturbation addiction is overcome CORRECTLY. There are very.
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wine.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 8 of 15 The Complexities of Sexual Addiction Sex addiction is the most personal addiction. It's also the most complex. Successfully overcoming any problem begins with knowing what you're dealing with. Besides identifying . Many sexually addicted people have sexual addictions in both categories. Certain addictions don't need to be categorized. To begin successfully overcoming sex addiction. Promiscuity and infidelity fall into the category of addictive sex with someone else. The husband cheating on his wife is not in the same boat as the voyeur. For instance. unlike alcohol. hard liquor. Are you aware that there are virgin sex addicts? A virgin sex addict is an adult who never had sex with another person. Sex addiction. An obsession with a fetish is not the same problem as a porn addiction. The other sexual addictions can be categorized as either addictive sex alone or with someone else. His or her entire sexual experience has been only with themselves through masturbation and/or porn addiction. others prefer beer. A promiscuous person does not have the same addiction as the virgin sex addict. It's ridiculous to give a virgin sex addict the same treatment as the person who's been promiscuous all their lives. These activities don't need to be categorized for the alcoholic because there is no addictive difference between beer. licensed therapy and the 12-step program don't distinguish between the different forms of sexual addiction. From these simple examples. They use an "every addiction is the same" approach. we can see that an "every addiction is the same" approach does not apply to sexual addiction. apply this easily observable fact: All sexually addictive behavior falls into two categories: * Addictive sex alone * Addictive sex with someone else The most common forms of addictive sex alone are masturbation addiction and/or pornography addiction. Conventional. or any other form of alcohol. others will drink anything. The husband cheating on his wife will be advised to use the same behavior modification techniques as the sexually addicted person who's never had a long-term relationship. Someone struggling with a shoe fetish will be given the same 12 steps as someone addicted to pornography. is diverse. some alcoholics prefer wine.
com . or with someone else. * Advice About Sex Addiction Attn. Please obey fair use laws. Thank you. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.SexualControl. But identifying a problem does not end it. Contact: http://www.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 9 of 15 which category the addiction resides in. Students. or both will help you control your sexual addiction because it will help you understand it better. A couple trying to hold their relationship together while struggling with a sexual addiction requires a very different approach than the sexually addicted person who is not in a relationship. you also need to take into account if the addicted person is in a relationship. Understanding if you are engaging in addictive sex alone. For more in-depth discussions of * Pornography addiction * How and why men get addicted to porn * Masturbation addiction * Promiscuity and infidelity * Fetishes * Phone sex * Other sexual addictions Use: * The Most Personal Addiction. Researchers. Webmasters and everyone else. So here are some resources to help you further: * The general sexual addiction interview * A sex addiction interview for the man in a relationship * For the person who has never had a successful relationship * How to tell if your partner is sexually addicted.
S/he does not represent most sexually addicted people. take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the interviews in The Most Personal Addiction.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 10 of 15 Effects of Sex Addiction on The Partner When it comes to relationships. Characteristically. Attn. in most cases she will stay until the bitter end trying to save her relationship. The person whose relationships are defined by sexual addiction uses people for an addictive fix. sexually addicted people can be classified into two major groups: * Those who seek relationships to satisfy their addiction. The partner of a sexually addicted person experiences emotional and/or sexual neglect. If you are not sure your sexual activity is addictive or if you want to learn how it affects your relationship. Thank you. Millions of sexually addicted people have lost good relationships and their loving families because they did not overcome their addiction. loving relationship. When the partner discovers that her man is sexually addicted. Usually. there is a special interview in The Most Personal Addiction for partners of sexually addicted people. But their sexual addiction creates an impersonal barrier between the relationship they want to develop and the addictive fantasy life they're obsessed with. The majority of sexually addicted people seek a long-term committed relationship. The partner usually doesn't discover her man is sexualy addicted until after she's committed herself to him. she will usually suffer more than he will because she might feel that she has to compete against his sexual compulsion. Please obey fair use laws. The addiction can be overcome and the couple can build the marriage they had expected to have. Students. If you are the partner of a sexually addicted person or you are not sure if your partner is sexually addicted. * Those who have a sexual addiction that conflicts with their genuine. Yet. he doesn't realize it until he loses the relationship. She also might feel that her relationship is hopelessly lost to sexual addiction. Webmasters and everyone else. this type of sex addict doesn't get into long-term relationships. Researchers. the sexually addicted person doesn't even realize that his sexual addiction is creating emotional barriers between him and his partner. Relationships don't have to end because of sex addiction. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. In some cases. . They are serious about commitment.
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A sex addict can invest hours surfing the Internet and not even realize he's lost an entire evening to sex addiction until the sun comes up to remind him that there is a life outside of fantasy. or loss of savings are some of the other consequences of sexual addiction. avoid intimacy and still make lots of money. The toll that sexual addiction takes on a relationship and the emotional isolation it causes cannot be healed by money. There is an old saying. The Sex Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction offer more advice about the personal and financial aspects of sexual addiction. Everything has a price. Even the person with a porn addiction who gets his porn for free on the Internet pays for his addiction by investing his valuable time and precious effort into fantasy. "The smallest personal consequence is money. They're the lesser ones compared to the loss of genuine loving intimacy." The real riches in life are gained through intimacy and effectively dealing with reality." Another way of expressing this sentiment is. Money can buy plenty. Attn. The worst price paid for sexual addiction is loss of an intimate relationship.com . sinking into bankruptcy. Students. They don't want to look at the financial costs because adding up how much they've spent can ruin the fantasy. Sometimes the loss of money is the least painful price. Researchers. Webmasters and everyone else. being sued. Contact: http://www. But you can't buy your way into love and you can't buy your way out of addiction. But money can't buy you love. Another high price is finding yourself trapped in a world of emotional isolation. Those sexually addicted people who spend money on their addiction usually don't realize how much they're spending. Every addicted person deludes him or herself about the real costs of their addiction. "The best things in life are free. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.SexualControl. Thank you. Losing your job.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 12 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Financial Issues Sexual addiction is not free. You can escape reality. Please obey fair use laws.
The difference between meaningless sex and loving sex is the difference between addiction and intimacy Meaningless sex releases a person from emotional vulnerability." The unfaithful person needs to go beyond just sex addiction. For the person with one meaningless sex partner. listen to music. Some people take a warm bath for relaxation and enjoyment. Helping the promiscuous person overcome his or her sexual addiction is more difficult than helping the person who engages in meaningless sex but is not promiscuous. Some people read a book.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 13 of 15 Promiscuity. or any other non-intimate activity. Ask any person who's been victimized by infidelity and they will tell you. The promiscuous person and the person who has meaningless sex with only one partner share a common trait. To him or her. The promiscuous person doesn't even make the effort to create any kind of loyal relationship. The person might be completely faithful to his or her partner. As one promiscuous person told me. They are both attempting to avoid intimacy. . "The lying and betrayal hurt more than the unfaithful sex. but they are not emotionally committed to the partner. the unfaithful person might be promiscuous or might be unfaithful with only one person. some people who engage in meaningless sex have only one partner. (Note: if the infidelity involves an emotional affair based on a real connection. sex is just another form of taking a warm bath. it might not be addictive behavior. But the underlying emotions behind the unfaithful activity are the same: sex without intimacy or emotional involvement. To him. Infidelity occurs when someone in a committed relationship is unfaithful to his or her partner. take a walk. people are interchangeable bodies. Genuine loving sex requires commitment and emotional vulnerability. Infidelity." He wasn't kidding. The path to overcoming sex addiction for both persons is traveled by opening oneself up to the need for intimacy. By comparison. "I don't want to be stuck with just one flavor of ice cream. people were just different flavors to be sampled and discarded. The partner is a human sex toy. In the context of sexual addiction. He or she needs to deal with honesty issues also.) What makes infidelity worse than promiscuity or meaningless sex with one person is the lying and dishonesty that accompanies the unfaithful acts. and Meaningless Sex A promiscuous person has meaningless sexual encounters with numerous people. or spend time with friends.
Please obey fair use laws. Students. For a more in-depth discussion about these sex addictions. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Thank you. Download or print the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction.com . Attn. Contact: http://www. Researchers.SexualControl. Webmasters and everyone else.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 14 of 15 The Most Personal Addiction discusses honesty issues and other factors necessary for overcoming sexual addiction.
SexualControl. If no other person is involved. The fetish enables the sexually addicted person to experience sexual pleasure without even the fantasy of human contact. Necrophilia is the morbid fantasy of fantasies. the voyeur seeks sexual pleasure without the risk of intimacy or even revealing himself. the sexually addicted person is using the other person for sexual stimulation he could not experience alone.com . Unfortunately. Phone sex is another form of addictive sex with someone else. Voyeurism (the Peeping Tom syndrome) also removes the sex addict from emotional vulnerability. Through this form of sexual addiction. there are many different forms of sexual addiction. Sadomasochism goes beyond avoiding intimacy. Thank you. It is certainly a form of sexually addictive behavior with someone else. Contact: http://www.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 15 of 15 Types of sex addiction Unlike alcoholism. not a person. Since the voyeur relies on using another person for sexual stimulation. It enables the sex addict to escape the demands of a real relationship and gain a short-term sexual pleasure that leads to a life of continual loneliness. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. his addiction falls into the category of addictive sex with another person. any sexual compulsion towards objects intensifies intimacy problems that can lead to divorce or a life of emotional isolation. Researchers. In some instances the object is used to stimulate a fantasy of human contact. Attn. However. The need for loving intimacy and genuine emotional involvement cannot be replaced through promiscuity. Webmasters and everyone else. it is in the category of addictive sex alone. the necrophiliac can face reality and gain control over their addictive sex life. With help. Although there is no physical contact between the participants and they don't even see each other. It is based on gaining sexual pleasure through destructive and humiliating sex acts. Nymphomania is a form of promiscuity. The Sexual Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction will give you more insights regarding the underlying causes of these and other sexual addictions. most necrophiliacs won't even acknowledge that they're morbidly addicted. And he doesn't respect the privacy of the people he spies on. Students. Please obey fair use laws. A fetish addiction is a more detached escape from reality because the focus of the addiction is on an object.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?