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The Home Page Topics

Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008

Page 1 of 15

An Overview of Sex Addiction
The media portray sex addiction as cool. The media are confessing their own ignorance. Sexual addictions are caused by misuse of a person's natural sex drive. The addiction will usually be started in puberty but it can also be developed later in life. Once started it leads to a compulsion the sexually addicted person tries to avoid, but can't. In the later stages it can affect every part of the person's life. Self-respect, intimate relationships, associations with family and friends, finances and career can take second place to his sexual addiction. If the sexually addicted person is honest with himself, he'll realize that his sex life is underscored by confusion, conflict, and regret. The joy of wonderful loving sex now competes with his sexual addiction. The movies and the media portray sex addicts as having fun. A sex addict compulsively tries to use sex to conceal his personal problems just as an alcoholic uses booze or a drug addict loses control over his life to drugs. Sexually addictive behavior, like any other addiction, delivers short-term thrills followed by long-term miseries. Getting a sex addiction stopped is the most important decision the sexually addicted person can make in his or her life. How to overcome sexual addiction is explained in The Most Personal Addiction. Attn. Students, Researchers, Webmasters and everyone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Please obey fair use laws. Thank you. Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com

but they tried . It might have been only for a day. especially if you've failed before at stopping. He doesn't believe he can. Researchers. your childhood or your environment. Providing the effort is up to you. Students. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. Remember that the kid felt hopeless because of his past mistakes. Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort. once your efforts are properly guided. Webmasters and everyone else. The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to sexual addiction. Use it to build motivation. Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop. effective approach explained in The Most Personal Addiction will help you gain the knowledge and motivation you need to succeed. good counseling can guide you to success. But what if you don't believe that you can correct your mistakes? Ask yourself this question: "What if my situation isn't hopeless? What if I really can overcome my addiction?" Here's what it takes to overcome sexual addiction: * Free will * Knowledge * Hard work.and they failed. Please obey fair use laws. If you've tried to overcome sex addiction before and weren't able to. Let's change the problem from learning to ride a bike to learning how to overcome sexual addiction. Attn. Don't give in to hopelessness. You are not doomed to failure. if you let it. Don't let past failures defeat you. . Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. A good counselor can help you identify your past mistakes and help you correct them before they get in your way. Thank you. you can overcome sexual addiction.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 2 of 15 The First Obstacle to Overcoming Sexual Addiction The fear of failure is normal. The real life stories and common sense. This same problem can become your biggest obstacle to success. Now he's sick and tired of failing. It applies to accomplishing anything. Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. the biggest barrier to your success is believing you cannot succeed. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. The first obstacle is the decision not to try. Learn from them. The answer to the fear of failure is to find a successful approach and persist. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. If you're willing to make the effort.

com .SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 3 of 15 Contact: http://www.

com . Overcoming sexual addiction correctly is discussed in The Most Personal Addiction. Thank you." * "I know guys who are sex addicts." Every one of these rationalizations can be overcome. The pleasure is escapist oriented. All too often the sex addict decides that sexual addiction is not escape and not an addiction.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 4 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Self Deception Self deception is the addict's strongest defense against admitting he's addicted. I do it to relieve stress. Webmasters and everyone else." * "I'm normal. Contact: http://www. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008." * "It's not an addiction." * "It gives me pleasure. how it can be overcome and how sex addicts fool themselves." * "All my friends do it. Students. When the escape ends. I'd never do what they do. the thrill of the addiction is over and the demands of real life return with a vengeance. Now the sex addict is confronted with the decision to face reality and gain the real pleasures of life or flee back into shallow fantasy. You're abnormal. It can't be an addiction if I like it." * "You're uptight about sex. Researchers.SexualControl. It's a way of having fun." * "I have more sex drive than most people. Attn. Some of the rationalizations he uses are: * "I'm not addicted. I'm not. The beginning interviews in The Most Personal Addiction will also expand your knowledge of what sexual addiction is. Sexual addiction is more deceptive than most other addictions because sexual addiction provides the illusion of pleasure." * "Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites. Please obey fair use laws. The Sexual Addiction Interview is designed to help you understand sex addiction and address some of the sexually addicted person's rationalizations.

* Don't take the blame for his sex addiction. Others take time. * Download the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. don't give up. Here are a few more pointers about what the partner can do to help her husband or boyfriend get control over sexual addiction: * Don't take on his burden. You can get through to him You know that your husband or boyfriend has a sex addiction. These interviews are designed to help the most defensive sex addict realize what sex addiction is and how it's affecting him and you. Thank you. Attn.SexualControl. There's a special section on how to save a relationship threatened by sexual addiction. He caused it. But does he know? If he doesn't want to accept that he's sexually addicted. Some sexual addictions can be overcome relatively quickly. phone sex or infidelity. Students. compulsive use of porn. The job of overcoming the addiction is his. is he willing to stop? How can you help him stop? Let's answer these questions one by one. Many times the partner's first reaction when discovering a sexual addiction is. Please obey fair use laws. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Researchers. If you realize that your partner is addicted to sex either through addictive masturbation. not yours. what can you do? Even if he's accepted that he has a problem. here's what to do: Start by getting him to take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the first interview in The Most Personal Addiction. * Give him credit for his successes.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 5 of 15 Someone Close To You Is Addicted To Sex If you know it but he doesn't want to admit it.com . a fetish. "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Why does he want them instead of me?" You did not cause his sexually addictive behavior. Webmasters and everyone else. but he doesn't want to accept it. * Be realistic. Contact: http://www.

. The situation is far from hopeless. and voyeurism. Contrary to what you are told by the media. A pornography addiction cannot be overcome in the long run without dealing with the underlying masturbation addiction. very few sexually addicted people who use porn without masturbating. fetishes. The Most Personal Addiction goes into much greater detail about how a porn addiction is overcome. There are very. In the most extreme cases. pornography might seem to be the addiction. If you want to know what the real addiction is. Even in these situations. Ask you partner. he faces a different challenge because pornography addiction becomes his sex life. such as promiscuity. Webmasters and everyone else. phone sex. Thank you. the sexually addicted person prefers sex through pornography addiction instead of loving sex with a real person. anonymous sex. From a partner's point of view. do you continue looking at porn?" Expect the answer to be "No. ask your partner if he masturbates when he use porn." If the real addiction were porn. If you want to understand why a man gets addicted to porn learn about the connection between addictive masturbation and pornography. though. the association will be briefly explained in this article. if the addiction is approached correctly. There are articles on this site about masturbation addiction. function independently from porn. Here's another question which will shed light on the real addiction. Other will masturbate continuously while looking at pornography. "After you finish masturbating. he'd still be using it even after he finished masturbating. Pornography used in conjunction with addictive masturbation gives the sexually addicted person the illusion that fantasy can be more satisfying than a real relationship. the interest in porn fades away. You need to read them if you're partner seems to have a pornography addiction. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Researchers. The sexual charge is generated through masturbation. if the pornography addiction is approached correctly. The sexual charge that seems to be in porn is not the porn. If the sexually addicted person is not in a relationship. Pornography is not like any other sexual addiction. Other sexual addictions. there are millions of sex addicts who have no interest in porn. the addiction can be overcome and the relationship can be saved. It is usually associated with a masturbation addiction. Some men will spend a whole night looking for the "perfect" image to masturbate to. If the masturbation addiction is overcome CORRECTLY. Please obey fair use laws. Students.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 6 of 15 Pornography Addiction Insights For Men and Women Porn enhances a masturbation addiction. Attn.

com .SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 7 of 15 Contact: http://www.

Certain addictions don't need to be categorized. To begin successfully overcoming sex addiction. For instance. An obsession with a fetish is not the same problem as a porn addiction. Promiscuity and infidelity fall into the category of addictive sex with someone else. A promiscuous person does not have the same addiction as the virgin sex addict. These activities don't need to be categorized for the alcoholic because there is no addictive difference between beer. The husband cheating on his wife is not in the same boat as the voyeur. Many sexually addicted people have sexual addictions in both categories. It's ridiculous to give a virgin sex addict the same treatment as the person who's been promiscuous all their lives. The other sexual addictions can be categorized as either addictive sex alone or with someone else. The husband cheating on his wife will be advised to use the same behavior modification techniques as the sexually addicted person who's never had a long-term relationship. It's also the most complex. Successfully overcoming any problem begins with knowing what you're dealing with. Someone struggling with a shoe fetish will be given the same 12 steps as someone addicted to pornography. is diverse. Sex addiction. Besides identifying . unlike alcohol. others will drink anything. some alcoholics prefer wine. They use an "every addiction is the same" approach. wine. hard liquor. Conventional. His or her entire sexual experience has been only with themselves through masturbation and/or porn addiction. others prefer beer. Are you aware that there are virgin sex addicts? A virgin sex addict is an adult who never had sex with another person.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 8 of 15 The Complexities of Sexual Addiction Sex addiction is the most personal addiction. or any other form of alcohol. From these simple examples. licensed therapy and the 12-step program don't distinguish between the different forms of sexual addiction. apply this easily observable fact: All sexually addictive behavior falls into two categories: * Addictive sex alone * Addictive sex with someone else The most common forms of addictive sex alone are masturbation addiction and/or pornography addiction. we can see that an "every addiction is the same" approach does not apply to sexual addiction.

Contact: http://www. Researchers. Please obey fair use laws.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 9 of 15 which category the addiction resides in.com . or both will help you control your sexual addiction because it will help you understand it better.SexualControl. But identifying a problem does not end it. A couple trying to hold their relationship together while struggling with a sexual addiction requires a very different approach than the sexually addicted person who is not in a relationship. For more in-depth discussions of * Pornography addiction * How and why men get addicted to porn * Masturbation addiction * Promiscuity and infidelity * Fetishes * Phone sex * Other sexual addictions Use: * The Most Personal Addiction. Students. * Advice About Sex Addiction Attn. Webmasters and everyone else. or with someone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. you also need to take into account if the addicted person is in a relationship. Thank you. So here are some resources to help you further: * The general sexual addiction interview * A sex addiction interview for the man in a relationship * For the person who has never had a successful relationship * How to tell if your partner is sexually addicted. Understanding if you are engaging in addictive sex alone.

When the partner discovers that her man is sexually addicted. she will usually suffer more than he will because she might feel that she has to compete against his sexual compulsion. in most cases she will stay until the bitter end trying to save her relationship. loving relationship. The partner of a sexually addicted person experiences emotional and/or sexual neglect. Characteristically. Researchers. sexually addicted people can be classified into two major groups: * Those who seek relationships to satisfy their addiction. there is a special interview in The Most Personal Addiction for partners of sexually addicted people.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 10 of 15 Effects of Sex Addiction on The Partner When it comes to relationships. Webmasters and everyone else. S/he does not represent most sexually addicted people. Yet. The majority of sexually addicted people seek a long-term committed relationship. The partner usually doesn't discover her man is sexualy addicted until after she's committed herself to him. In some cases. She also might feel that her relationship is hopelessly lost to sexual addiction. the sexually addicted person doesn't even realize that his sexual addiction is creating emotional barriers between him and his partner. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Thank you. The person whose relationships are defined by sexual addiction uses people for an addictive fix. If you are the partner of a sexually addicted person or you are not sure if your partner is sexually addicted. . Please obey fair use laws. take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the interviews in The Most Personal Addiction. Relationships don't have to end because of sex addiction. Millions of sexually addicted people have lost good relationships and their loving families because they did not overcome their addiction. Usually. But their sexual addiction creates an impersonal barrier between the relationship they want to develop and the addictive fantasy life they're obsessed with. he doesn't realize it until he loses the relationship. The addiction can be overcome and the couple can build the marriage they had expected to have. If you are not sure your sexual activity is addictive or if you want to learn how it affects your relationship. this type of sex addict doesn't get into long-term relationships. Attn. * Those who have a sexual addiction that conflicts with their genuine. Students. They are serious about commitment.

SexualControl.com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 11 of 15 Contact: http://www.

"The smallest personal consequence is money." The real riches in life are gained through intimacy and effectively dealing with reality. But money can't buy you love. They're the lesser ones compared to the loss of genuine loving intimacy. Sometimes the loss of money is the least painful price.SexualControl. Please obey fair use laws. avoid intimacy and still make lots of money. A sex addict can invest hours surfing the Internet and not even realize he's lost an entire evening to sex addiction until the sun comes up to remind him that there is a life outside of fantasy. Money can buy plenty. Webmasters and everyone else. You can escape reality. being sued. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. The toll that sexual addiction takes on a relationship and the emotional isolation it causes cannot be healed by money. Another high price is finding yourself trapped in a world of emotional isolation. Those sexually addicted people who spend money on their addiction usually don't realize how much they're spending. Thank you. Contact: http://www. Everything has a price.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 12 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Financial Issues Sexual addiction is not free. sinking into bankruptcy. There is an old saying. Every addicted person deludes him or herself about the real costs of their addiction. Students. "The best things in life are free. Attn. But you can't buy your way into love and you can't buy your way out of addiction. Even the person with a porn addiction who gets his porn for free on the Internet pays for his addiction by investing his valuable time and precious effort into fantasy. They don't want to look at the financial costs because adding up how much they've spent can ruin the fantasy. The Sex Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction offer more advice about the personal and financial aspects of sexual addiction. Losing your job. Researchers. or loss of savings are some of the other consequences of sexual addiction.com ." Another way of expressing this sentiment is. The worst price paid for sexual addiction is loss of an intimate relationship.

) What makes infidelity worse than promiscuity or meaningless sex with one person is the lying and dishonesty that accompanies the unfaithful acts. Helping the promiscuous person overcome his or her sexual addiction is more difficult than helping the person who engages in meaningless sex but is not promiscuous. They are both attempting to avoid intimacy. "I don't want to be stuck with just one flavor of ice cream.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 13 of 15 Promiscuity. ." The unfaithful person needs to go beyond just sex addiction. The person might be completely faithful to his or her partner. But the underlying emotions behind the unfaithful activity are the same: sex without intimacy or emotional involvement. "The lying and betrayal hurt more than the unfaithful sex. As one promiscuous person told me. The difference between meaningless sex and loving sex is the difference between addiction and intimacy Meaningless sex releases a person from emotional vulnerability. The promiscuous person and the person who has meaningless sex with only one partner share a common trait. By comparison. or any other non-intimate activity. or spend time with friends. people are interchangeable bodies. Infidelity. sex is just another form of taking a warm bath. listen to music. For the person with one meaningless sex partner. take a walk. He or she needs to deal with honesty issues also. it might not be addictive behavior. some people who engage in meaningless sex have only one partner. Some people take a warm bath for relaxation and enjoyment. The partner is a human sex toy. Ask any person who's been victimized by infidelity and they will tell you. but they are not emotionally committed to the partner. Some people read a book. In the context of sexual addiction." He wasn't kidding. people were just different flavors to be sampled and discarded. The promiscuous person doesn't even make the effort to create any kind of loyal relationship. To him. To him or her. Genuine loving sex requires commitment and emotional vulnerability. the unfaithful person might be promiscuous or might be unfaithful with only one person. (Note: if the infidelity involves an emotional affair based on a real connection. The path to overcoming sex addiction for both persons is traveled by opening oneself up to the need for intimacy. and Meaningless Sex A promiscuous person has meaningless sexual encounters with numerous people. Infidelity occurs when someone in a committed relationship is unfaithful to his or her partner.

Thank you.SexualControl. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Please obey fair use laws. For a more in-depth discussion about these sex addictions. Download or print the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. Contact: http://www. Webmasters and everyone else. Attn.com . Students. Researchers.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 14 of 15 The Most Personal Addiction discusses honesty issues and other factors necessary for overcoming sexual addiction.

Nymphomania is a form of promiscuity. Contact: http://www. Although there is no physical contact between the participants and they don't even see each other.com . there are many different forms of sexual addiction. the necrophiliac can face reality and gain control over their addictive sex life. With help. If no other person is involved. Students. It is based on gaining sexual pleasure through destructive and humiliating sex acts. Researchers. his addiction falls into the category of addictive sex with another person. Voyeurism (the Peeping Tom syndrome) also removes the sex addict from emotional vulnerability. the voyeur seeks sexual pleasure without the risk of intimacy or even revealing himself. Thank you.SexualControl. Phone sex is another form of addictive sex with someone else. Sadomasochism goes beyond avoiding intimacy. Necrophilia is the morbid fantasy of fantasies. The Sexual Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction will give you more insights regarding the underlying causes of these and other sexual addictions.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 15 of 15 Types of sex addiction Unlike alcoholism. the sexually addicted person is using the other person for sexual stimulation he could not experience alone. It is certainly a form of sexually addictive behavior with someone else. In some instances the object is used to stimulate a fantasy of human contact. Please obey fair use laws. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. A fetish addiction is a more detached escape from reality because the focus of the addiction is on an object. And he doesn't respect the privacy of the people he spies on. most necrophiliacs won't even acknowledge that they're morbidly addicted. It enables the sex addict to escape the demands of a real relationship and gain a short-term sexual pleasure that leads to a life of continual loneliness. The need for loving intimacy and genuine emotional involvement cannot be replaced through promiscuity. Unfortunately. Attn. Since the voyeur relies on using another person for sexual stimulation. any sexual compulsion towards objects intensifies intimacy problems that can lead to divorce or a life of emotional isolation. The fetish enables the sexually addicted person to experience sexual pleasure without even the fantasy of human contact. However. it is in the category of addictive sex alone. Webmasters and everyone else. not a person. Through this form of sexual addiction.

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