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Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008
Page 1 of 15
An Overview of Sex Addiction
The media portray sex addiction as cool. The media are confessing their own ignorance. Sexual addictions are caused by misuse of a person's natural sex drive. The addiction will usually be started in puberty but it can also be developed later in life. Once started it leads to a compulsion the sexually addicted person tries to avoid, but can't. In the later stages it can affect every part of the person's life. Self-respect, intimate relationships, associations with family and friends, finances and career can take second place to his sexual addiction. If the sexually addicted person is honest with himself, he'll realize that his sex life is underscored by confusion, conflict, and regret. The joy of wonderful loving sex now competes with his sexual addiction. The movies and the media portray sex addicts as having fun. A sex addict compulsively tries to use sex to conceal his personal problems just as an alcoholic uses booze or a drug addict loses control over his life to drugs. Sexually addictive behavior, like any other addiction, delivers short-term thrills followed by long-term miseries. Getting a sex addiction stopped is the most important decision the sexually addicted person can make in his or her life. How to overcome sexual addiction is explained in The Most Personal Addiction. Attn. Students, Researchers, Webmasters and everyone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Please obey fair use laws. Thank you. Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com
good counseling can guide you to success. Learn from them. If you're willing to make the effort. you can overcome sexual addiction. once your efforts are properly guided. The real life stories and common sense. Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort. the biggest barrier to your success is believing you cannot succeed. It might have been only for a day. Providing the effort is up to you. Webmasters and everyone else. Attn. Use it to build motivation. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to sexual addiction. Remember that the kid felt hopeless because of his past mistakes. Students. Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Researchers. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. especially if you've failed before at stopping. if you let it. But what if you don't believe that you can correct your mistakes? Ask yourself this question: "What if my situation isn't hopeless? What if I really can overcome my addiction?" Here's what it takes to overcome sexual addiction: * Free will * Knowledge * Hard work. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it. He doesn't believe he can. It applies to accomplishing anything. The answer to the fear of failure is to find a successful approach and persist. Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. Now he's sick and tired of failing. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. Don't let past failures defeat you. You are not doomed to failure. If you've tried to overcome sex addiction before and weren't able to. Please obey fair use laws. A good counselor can help you identify your past mistakes and help you correct them before they get in your way. . Thank you. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. Let's change the problem from learning to ride a bike to learning how to overcome sexual addiction. your childhood or your environment. effective approach explained in The Most Personal Addiction will help you gain the knowledge and motivation you need to succeed. The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes. but they tried .and they failed.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 2 of 15 The First Obstacle to Overcoming Sexual Addiction The fear of failure is normal. Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. The first obstacle is the decision not to try. This same problem can become your biggest obstacle to success. Don't give in to hopelessness.
com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 3 of 15 Contact: http://www.SexualControl.
The pleasure is escapist oriented." * "All my friends do it.SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 4 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Self Deception Self deception is the addict's strongest defense against admitting he's addicted. Researchers. All too often the sex addict decides that sexual addiction is not escape and not an addiction. I'm not. You're abnormal. how it can be overcome and how sex addicts fool themselves. I do it to relieve stress. It's a way of having fun." * "It gives me pleasure. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Webmasters and everyone else. Now the sex addict is confronted with the decision to face reality and gain the real pleasures of life or flee back into shallow fantasy. Overcoming sexual addiction correctly is discussed in The Most Personal Addiction. It can't be an addiction if I like it. When the escape ends. Sexual addiction is more deceptive than most other addictions because sexual addiction provides the illusion of pleasure." * "It's not an addiction. Contact: http://www.com ." * "I know guys who are sex addicts. Some of the rationalizations he uses are: * "I'm not addicted. Students. I'd never do what they do. Thank you." * "I have more sex drive than most people." * "You're uptight about sex. The beginning interviews in The Most Personal Addiction will also expand your knowledge of what sexual addiction is. The Sexual Addiction Interview is designed to help you understand sex addiction and address some of the sexually addicted person's rationalizations." * "Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites. the thrill of the addiction is over and the demands of real life return with a vengeance. Attn. Please obey fair use laws." * "I'm normal." Every one of these rationalizations can be overcome.
He caused it. * Give him credit for his successes. is he willing to stop? How can you help him stop? Let's answer these questions one by one. There's a special section on how to save a relationship threatened by sexual addiction. what can you do? Even if he's accepted that he has a problem. Here are a few more pointers about what the partner can do to help her husband or boyfriend get control over sexual addiction: * Don't take on his burden.com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 5 of 15 Someone Close To You Is Addicted To Sex If you know it but he doesn't want to admit it. phone sex or infidelity. * Download the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. The job of overcoming the addiction is his. Please obey fair use laws. Webmasters and everyone else. don't give up. Students. Attn. Some sexual addictions can be overcome relatively quickly. * Don't take the blame for his sex addiction.SexualControl. If you realize that your partner is addicted to sex either through addictive masturbation. You can get through to him You know that your husband or boyfriend has a sex addiction. not yours. Others take time. But does he know? If he doesn't want to accept that he's sexually addicted. compulsive use of porn. but he doesn't want to accept it. Thank you. Contact: http://www. Many times the partner's first reaction when discovering a sexual addiction is. here's what to do: Start by getting him to take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the first interview in The Most Personal Addiction. "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Why does he want them instead of me?" You did not cause his sexually addictive behavior. These interviews are designed to help the most defensive sex addict realize what sex addiction is and how it's affecting him and you. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. a fetish. Researchers. * Be realistic.
if the pornography addiction is approached correctly. the sexually addicted person prefers sex through pornography addiction instead of loving sex with a real person. phone sex. Ask you partner. Attn. Here's another question which will shed light on the real addiction. the association will be briefly explained in this article. In the most extreme cases. if the addiction is approached correctly. From a partner's point of view. he'd still be using it even after he finished masturbating. The sexual charge that seems to be in porn is not the porn. If the sexually addicted person is not in a relationship. The situation is far from hopeless. If you want to know what the real addiction is. the interest in porn fades away. such as promiscuity. There are very. pornography might seem to be the addiction. The sexual charge is generated through masturbation. Webmasters and everyone else. fetishes. Pornography used in conjunction with addictive masturbation gives the sexually addicted person the illusion that fantasy can be more satisfying than a real relationship. Contrary to what you are told by the media. though. It is usually associated with a masturbation addiction. Please obey fair use laws. he faces a different challenge because pornography addiction becomes his sex life. If the masturbation addiction is overcome CORRECTLY. Other will masturbate continuously while looking at pornography. Other sexual addictions. Thank you. the addiction can be overcome and the relationship can be saved. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. A pornography addiction cannot be overcome in the long run without dealing with the underlying masturbation addiction. anonymous sex. If you want to understand why a man gets addicted to porn learn about the connection between addictive masturbation and pornography. ask your partner if he masturbates when he use porn. there are millions of sex addicts who have no interest in porn. "After you finish masturbating. and voyeurism. Students. very few sexually addicted people who use porn without masturbating. Pornography is not like any other sexual addiction. There are articles on this site about masturbation addiction. Even in these situations.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 6 of 15 Pornography Addiction Insights For Men and Women Porn enhances a masturbation addiction. function independently from porn." If the real addiction were porn. . do you continue looking at porn?" Expect the answer to be "No. The Most Personal Addiction goes into much greater detail about how a porn addiction is overcome. Researchers. Some men will spend a whole night looking for the "perfect" image to masturbate to. You need to read them if you're partner seems to have a pornography addiction.
The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 7 of 15 Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com .
It's ridiculous to give a virgin sex addict the same treatment as the person who's been promiscuous all their lives.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 8 of 15 The Complexities of Sexual Addiction Sex addiction is the most personal addiction. wine. Sex addiction. His or her entire sexual experience has been only with themselves through masturbation and/or porn addiction. A promiscuous person does not have the same addiction as the virgin sex addict. Someone struggling with a shoe fetish will be given the same 12 steps as someone addicted to pornography. apply this easily observable fact: All sexually addictive behavior falls into two categories: * Addictive sex alone * Addictive sex with someone else The most common forms of addictive sex alone are masturbation addiction and/or pornography addiction. The husband cheating on his wife is not in the same boat as the voyeur. licensed therapy and the 12-step program don't distinguish between the different forms of sexual addiction. The other sexual addictions can be categorized as either addictive sex alone or with someone else. Many sexually addicted people have sexual addictions in both categories. Certain addictions don't need to be categorized. hard liquor. is diverse. These activities don't need to be categorized for the alcoholic because there is no addictive difference between beer. some alcoholics prefer wine. or any other form of alcohol. From these simple examples. Besides identifying . It's also the most complex. Conventional. others will drink anything. The husband cheating on his wife will be advised to use the same behavior modification techniques as the sexually addicted person who's never had a long-term relationship. we can see that an "every addiction is the same" approach does not apply to sexual addiction. Promiscuity and infidelity fall into the category of addictive sex with someone else. To begin successfully overcoming sex addiction. For instance. Are you aware that there are virgin sex addicts? A virgin sex addict is an adult who never had sex with another person. They use an "every addiction is the same" approach. An obsession with a fetish is not the same problem as a porn addiction. unlike alcohol. others prefer beer. Successfully overcoming any problem begins with knowing what you're dealing with.
com . Students. Please obey fair use laws. * Advice About Sex Addiction Attn. But identifying a problem does not end it. A couple trying to hold their relationship together while struggling with a sexual addiction requires a very different approach than the sexually addicted person who is not in a relationship. Understanding if you are engaging in addictive sex alone. Contact: http://www. So here are some resources to help you further: * The general sexual addiction interview * A sex addiction interview for the man in a relationship * For the person who has never had a successful relationship * How to tell if your partner is sexually addicted.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 9 of 15 which category the addiction resides in. Webmasters and everyone else. For more in-depth discussions of * Pornography addiction * How and why men get addicted to porn * Masturbation addiction * Promiscuity and infidelity * Fetishes * Phone sex * Other sexual addictions Use: * The Most Personal Addiction. you also need to take into account if the addicted person is in a relationship. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. or with someone else. or both will help you control your sexual addiction because it will help you understand it better.SexualControl. Researchers. Thank you.
The person whose relationships are defined by sexual addiction uses people for an addictive fix. Yet. Thank you. When the partner discovers that her man is sexually addicted. Relationships don't have to end because of sex addiction. * Those who have a sexual addiction that conflicts with their genuine. she will usually suffer more than he will because she might feel that she has to compete against his sexual compulsion. Characteristically. The addiction can be overcome and the couple can build the marriage they had expected to have. Researchers. loving relationship. The majority of sexually addicted people seek a long-term committed relationship. If you are not sure your sexual activity is addictive or if you want to learn how it affects your relationship. Millions of sexually addicted people have lost good relationships and their loving families because they did not overcome their addiction. there is a special interview in The Most Personal Addiction for partners of sexually addicted people. Please obey fair use laws. in most cases she will stay until the bitter end trying to save her relationship. In some cases. But their sexual addiction creates an impersonal barrier between the relationship they want to develop and the addictive fantasy life they're obsessed with. take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the interviews in The Most Personal Addiction. They are serious about commitment. Webmasters and everyone else. The partner of a sexually addicted person experiences emotional and/or sexual neglect. Usually. She also might feel that her relationship is hopelessly lost to sexual addiction. this type of sex addict doesn't get into long-term relationships. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 10 of 15 Effects of Sex Addiction on The Partner When it comes to relationships. the sexually addicted person doesn't even realize that his sexual addiction is creating emotional barriers between him and his partner. S/he does not represent most sexually addicted people. Students. he doesn't realize it until he loses the relationship. If you are the partner of a sexually addicted person or you are not sure if your partner is sexually addicted. Attn. sexually addicted people can be classified into two major groups: * Those who seek relationships to satisfy their addiction. The partner usually doesn't discover her man is sexualy addicted until after she's committed herself to him. .
SexualControl.com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 11 of 15 Contact: http://www.
com . But you can't buy your way into love and you can't buy your way out of addiction. "The smallest personal consequence is money. Losing your job. Researchers. The toll that sexual addiction takes on a relationship and the emotional isolation it causes cannot be healed by money.SexualControl. The Sex Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction offer more advice about the personal and financial aspects of sexual addiction. being sued. or loss of savings are some of the other consequences of sexual addiction." Another way of expressing this sentiment is. avoid intimacy and still make lots of money. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Thank you. The worst price paid for sexual addiction is loss of an intimate relationship. There is an old saying. Attn." The real riches in life are gained through intimacy and effectively dealing with reality. Money can buy plenty. Webmasters and everyone else. Every addicted person deludes him or herself about the real costs of their addiction. Contact: http://www. They don't want to look at the financial costs because adding up how much they've spent can ruin the fantasy. sinking into bankruptcy. Please obey fair use laws. But money can't buy you love. Everything has a price. Those sexually addicted people who spend money on their addiction usually don't realize how much they're spending. Even the person with a porn addiction who gets his porn for free on the Internet pays for his addiction by investing his valuable time and precious effort into fantasy. You can escape reality. Another high price is finding yourself trapped in a world of emotional isolation.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 12 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Financial Issues Sexual addiction is not free. A sex addict can invest hours surfing the Internet and not even realize he's lost an entire evening to sex addiction until the sun comes up to remind him that there is a life outside of fantasy. They're the lesser ones compared to the loss of genuine loving intimacy. Students. Sometimes the loss of money is the least painful price. "The best things in life are free.
The path to overcoming sex addiction for both persons is traveled by opening oneself up to the need for intimacy.) What makes infidelity worse than promiscuity or meaningless sex with one person is the lying and dishonesty that accompanies the unfaithful acts. the unfaithful person might be promiscuous or might be unfaithful with only one person. or spend time with friends. For the person with one meaningless sex partner. ." The unfaithful person needs to go beyond just sex addiction. Some people read a book. In the context of sexual addiction. Infidelity. They are both attempting to avoid intimacy. As one promiscuous person told me. The promiscuous person doesn't even make the effort to create any kind of loyal relationship. and Meaningless Sex A promiscuous person has meaningless sexual encounters with numerous people. but they are not emotionally committed to the partner. By comparison. Infidelity occurs when someone in a committed relationship is unfaithful to his or her partner. people are interchangeable bodies. sex is just another form of taking a warm bath. (Note: if the infidelity involves an emotional affair based on a real connection. To him or her. The difference between meaningless sex and loving sex is the difference between addiction and intimacy Meaningless sex releases a person from emotional vulnerability. The person might be completely faithful to his or her partner. or any other non-intimate activity. To him. take a walk.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 13 of 15 Promiscuity. Helping the promiscuous person overcome his or her sexual addiction is more difficult than helping the person who engages in meaningless sex but is not promiscuous. But the underlying emotions behind the unfaithful activity are the same: sex without intimacy or emotional involvement. some people who engage in meaningless sex have only one partner. Genuine loving sex requires commitment and emotional vulnerability. it might not be addictive behavior. people were just different flavors to be sampled and discarded. The partner is a human sex toy. The promiscuous person and the person who has meaningless sex with only one partner share a common trait. Some people take a warm bath for relaxation and enjoyment. He or she needs to deal with honesty issues also. Ask any person who's been victimized by infidelity and they will tell you. "I don't want to be stuck with just one flavor of ice cream. "The lying and betrayal hurt more than the unfaithful sex." He wasn't kidding. listen to music.
For a more in-depth discussion about these sex addictions. Contact: http://www. Download or print the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 14 of 15 The Most Personal Addiction discusses honesty issues and other factors necessary for overcoming sexual addiction. Students. Attn. Thank you. Webmasters and everyone else.SexualControl.com . Researchers. Please obey fair use laws. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.
And he doesn't respect the privacy of the people he spies on. A fetish addiction is a more detached escape from reality because the focus of the addiction is on an object. The fetish enables the sexually addicted person to experience sexual pleasure without even the fantasy of human contact. Unfortunately. the sexually addicted person is using the other person for sexual stimulation he could not experience alone. the voyeur seeks sexual pleasure without the risk of intimacy or even revealing himself. The need for loving intimacy and genuine emotional involvement cannot be replaced through promiscuity. If no other person is involved. It is certainly a form of sexually addictive behavior with someone else.SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 15 of 15 Types of sex addiction Unlike alcoholism. any sexual compulsion towards objects intensifies intimacy problems that can lead to divorce or a life of emotional isolation. It enables the sex addict to escape the demands of a real relationship and gain a short-term sexual pleasure that leads to a life of continual loneliness. Thank you. Researchers. Webmasters and everyone else. Sadomasochism goes beyond avoiding intimacy. Since the voyeur relies on using another person for sexual stimulation. it is in the category of addictive sex alone. Although there is no physical contact between the participants and they don't even see each other. The Sexual Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction will give you more insights regarding the underlying causes of these and other sexual addictions. the necrophiliac can face reality and gain control over their addictive sex life. Please obey fair use laws. However. With help. Contact: http://www. Nymphomania is a form of promiscuity. there are many different forms of sexual addiction. Students. It is based on gaining sexual pleasure through destructive and humiliating sex acts. Through this form of sexual addiction. Voyeurism (the Peeping Tom syndrome) also removes the sex addict from emotional vulnerability. In some instances the object is used to stimulate a fantasy of human contact. Attn.com . his addiction falls into the category of addictive sex with another person. most necrophiliacs won't even acknowledge that they're morbidly addicted. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Phone sex is another form of addictive sex with someone else. not a person. Necrophilia is the morbid fantasy of fantasies.
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