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The Home Page Topics

Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008

Page 1 of 15

An Overview of Sex Addiction
The media portray sex addiction as cool. The media are confessing their own ignorance. Sexual addictions are caused by misuse of a person's natural sex drive. The addiction will usually be started in puberty but it can also be developed later in life. Once started it leads to a compulsion the sexually addicted person tries to avoid, but can't. In the later stages it can affect every part of the person's life. Self-respect, intimate relationships, associations with family and friends, finances and career can take second place to his sexual addiction. If the sexually addicted person is honest with himself, he'll realize that his sex life is underscored by confusion, conflict, and regret. The joy of wonderful loving sex now competes with his sexual addiction. The movies and the media portray sex addicts as having fun. A sex addict compulsively tries to use sex to conceal his personal problems just as an alcoholic uses booze or a drug addict loses control over his life to drugs. Sexually addictive behavior, like any other addiction, delivers short-term thrills followed by long-term miseries. Getting a sex addiction stopped is the most important decision the sexually addicted person can make in his or her life. How to overcome sexual addiction is explained in The Most Personal Addiction. Attn. Students, Researchers, Webmasters and everyone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Please obey fair use laws. Thank you. Contact: http://www.SexualControl.com

If you've tried to overcome sex addiction before and weren't able to. the biggest barrier to your success is believing you cannot succeed. Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. your childhood or your environment. The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes. The answer to the fear of failure is to find a successful approach and persist.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 2 of 15 The First Obstacle to Overcoming Sexual Addiction The fear of failure is normal. He doesn't believe he can. Providing the effort is up to you. Use it to build motivation. Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. Researchers. Students. you can overcome sexual addiction. You are not doomed to failure. If you're willing to make the effort. . Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort. Attn. Let's change the problem from learning to ride a bike to learning how to overcome sexual addiction. Don't give in to hopelessness. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop. Don't let past failures defeat you. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it. It might have been only for a day. Webmasters and everyone else. It applies to accomplishing anything. Now he's sick and tired of failing. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to sexual addiction. especially if you've failed before at stopping. The first obstacle is the decision not to try. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. Learn from them. A good counselor can help you identify your past mistakes and help you correct them before they get in your way. Please obey fair use laws. once your efforts are properly guided.and they failed. This same problem can become your biggest obstacle to success. Thank you. But what if you don't believe that you can correct your mistakes? Ask yourself this question: "What if my situation isn't hopeless? What if I really can overcome my addiction?" Here's what it takes to overcome sexual addiction: * Free will * Knowledge * Hard work. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. Remember that the kid felt hopeless because of his past mistakes. good counseling can guide you to success. but they tried . effective approach explained in The Most Personal Addiction will help you gain the knowledge and motivation you need to succeed. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. if you let it. The real life stories and common sense.

SexualControl.com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 3 of 15 Contact: http://www.

" * "It's not an addiction." * "Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites." * "All my friends do it. It's a way of having fun." Every one of these rationalizations can be overcome. Webmasters and everyone else. Thank you. The pleasure is escapist oriented. It can't be an addiction if I like it. Contact: http://www. You're abnormal. All too often the sex addict decides that sexual addiction is not escape and not an addiction." * "I know guys who are sex addicts. The Sexual Addiction Interview is designed to help you understand sex addiction and address some of the sexually addicted person's rationalizations. When the escape ends. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. the thrill of the addiction is over and the demands of real life return with a vengeance." * "You're uptight about sex. Some of the rationalizations he uses are: * "I'm not addicted." * "It gives me pleasure." * "I'm normal." * "I have more sex drive than most people. Please obey fair use laws. I do it to relieve stress. I'm not. The beginning interviews in The Most Personal Addiction will also expand your knowledge of what sexual addiction is. Students.com .SexualControl. Overcoming sexual addiction correctly is discussed in The Most Personal Addiction. Sexual addiction is more deceptive than most other addictions because sexual addiction provides the illusion of pleasure. I'd never do what they do. Researchers. Attn.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 4 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Self Deception Self deception is the addict's strongest defense against admitting he's addicted. Now the sex addict is confronted with the decision to face reality and gain the real pleasures of life or flee back into shallow fantasy. how it can be overcome and how sex addicts fool themselves.

Thank you. here's what to do: Start by getting him to take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the first interview in The Most Personal Addiction.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 5 of 15 Someone Close To You Is Addicted To Sex If you know it but he doesn't want to admit it. what can you do? Even if he's accepted that he has a problem. is he willing to stop? How can you help him stop? Let's answer these questions one by one. * Be realistic. * Download the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. Students. You can get through to him You know that your husband or boyfriend has a sex addiction. If you realize that your partner is addicted to sex either through addictive masturbation. * Don't take the blame for his sex addiction. Here are a few more pointers about what the partner can do to help her husband or boyfriend get control over sexual addiction: * Don't take on his burden. a fetish.SexualControl. The job of overcoming the addiction is his. These interviews are designed to help the most defensive sex addict realize what sex addiction is and how it's affecting him and you. Many times the partner's first reaction when discovering a sexual addiction is. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. But does he know? If he doesn't want to accept that he's sexually addicted. Contact: http://www. Webmasters and everyone else. Attn. compulsive use of porn. Please obey fair use laws. but he doesn't want to accept it. Others take time. Some sexual addictions can be overcome relatively quickly. phone sex or infidelity. There's a special section on how to save a relationship threatened by sexual addiction. * Give him credit for his successes. "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Why does he want them instead of me?" You did not cause his sexually addictive behavior. not yours. Researchers. He caused it.com . don't give up.

the sexually addicted person prefers sex through pornography addiction instead of loving sex with a real person. A pornography addiction cannot be overcome in the long run without dealing with the underlying masturbation addiction. There are very. the association will be briefly explained in this article. if the pornography addiction is approached correctly. Some men will spend a whole night looking for the "perfect" image to masturbate to." If the real addiction were porn. and voyeurism. The situation is far from hopeless. From a partner's point of view. If you want to know what the real addiction is. Thank you. Students. Pornography is not like any other sexual addiction. fetishes. Pornography used in conjunction with addictive masturbation gives the sexually addicted person the illusion that fantasy can be more satisfying than a real relationship. phone sex. Other will masturbate continuously while looking at pornography. there are millions of sex addicts who have no interest in porn. "After you finish masturbating. There are articles on this site about masturbation addiction. If you want to understand why a man gets addicted to porn learn about the connection between addictive masturbation and pornography. If the masturbation addiction is overcome CORRECTLY. do you continue looking at porn?" Expect the answer to be "No. If the sexually addicted person is not in a relationship. Even in these situations. In the most extreme cases. Ask you partner. Webmasters and everyone else. the interest in porn fades away. the addiction can be overcome and the relationship can be saved. pornography might seem to be the addiction. very few sexually addicted people who use porn without masturbating. he faces a different challenge because pornography addiction becomes his sex life. You need to read them if you're partner seems to have a pornography addiction. though. Contrary to what you are told by the media. . The sexual charge that seems to be in porn is not the porn. if the addiction is approached correctly. It is usually associated with a masturbation addiction. ask your partner if he masturbates when he use porn.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 6 of 15 Pornography Addiction Insights For Men and Women Porn enhances a masturbation addiction. Here's another question which will shed light on the real addiction. Please obey fair use laws. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. The sexual charge is generated through masturbation. Researchers. Attn. Other sexual addictions. anonymous sex. The Most Personal Addiction goes into much greater detail about how a porn addiction is overcome. function independently from porn. he'd still be using it even after he finished masturbating. such as promiscuity.

SexualControl.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 7 of 15 Contact: http://www.com .

hard liquor. Besides identifying . some alcoholics prefer wine. Successfully overcoming any problem begins with knowing what you're dealing with. Sex addiction. The husband cheating on his wife will be advised to use the same behavior modification techniques as the sexually addicted person who's never had a long-term relationship. The husband cheating on his wife is not in the same boat as the voyeur. His or her entire sexual experience has been only with themselves through masturbation and/or porn addiction. we can see that an "every addiction is the same" approach does not apply to sexual addiction. From these simple examples. apply this easily observable fact: All sexually addictive behavior falls into two categories: * Addictive sex alone * Addictive sex with someone else The most common forms of addictive sex alone are masturbation addiction and/or pornography addiction. They use an "every addiction is the same" approach. is diverse. licensed therapy and the 12-step program don't distinguish between the different forms of sexual addiction.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 8 of 15 The Complexities of Sexual Addiction Sex addiction is the most personal addiction. others prefer beer. An obsession with a fetish is not the same problem as a porn addiction. Are you aware that there are virgin sex addicts? A virgin sex addict is an adult who never had sex with another person. others will drink anything. Someone struggling with a shoe fetish will be given the same 12 steps as someone addicted to pornography. Many sexually addicted people have sexual addictions in both categories. wine. These activities don't need to be categorized for the alcoholic because there is no addictive difference between beer. To begin successfully overcoming sex addiction. The other sexual addictions can be categorized as either addictive sex alone or with someone else. unlike alcohol. Certain addictions don't need to be categorized. or any other form of alcohol. Promiscuity and infidelity fall into the category of addictive sex with someone else. A promiscuous person does not have the same addiction as the virgin sex addict. Conventional. It's ridiculous to give a virgin sex addict the same treatment as the person who's been promiscuous all their lives. For instance. It's also the most complex.

Please obey fair use laws. * Advice About Sex Addiction Attn. Contact: http://www.SexualControl. A couple trying to hold their relationship together while struggling with a sexual addiction requires a very different approach than the sexually addicted person who is not in a relationship. or with someone else. Students. But identifying a problem does not end it. or both will help you control your sexual addiction because it will help you understand it better. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008.com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 9 of 15 which category the addiction resides in. Researchers. you also need to take into account if the addicted person is in a relationship. For more in-depth discussions of * Pornography addiction * How and why men get addicted to porn * Masturbation addiction * Promiscuity and infidelity * Fetishes * Phone sex * Other sexual addictions Use: * The Most Personal Addiction. Webmasters and everyone else. Thank you. So here are some resources to help you further: * The general sexual addiction interview * A sex addiction interview for the man in a relationship * For the person who has never had a successful relationship * How to tell if your partner is sexually addicted. Understanding if you are engaging in addictive sex alone.

Millions of sexually addicted people have lost good relationships and their loving families because they did not overcome their addiction. S/he does not represent most sexually addicted people. The addiction can be overcome and the couple can build the marriage they had expected to have. Usually. The partner usually doesn't discover her man is sexualy addicted until after she's committed herself to him. she will usually suffer more than he will because she might feel that she has to compete against his sexual compulsion. If you are the partner of a sexually addicted person or you are not sure if your partner is sexually addicted. They are serious about commitment. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. The partner of a sexually addicted person experiences emotional and/or sexual neglect. Webmasters and everyone else. the sexually addicted person doesn't even realize that his sexual addiction is creating emotional barriers between him and his partner. Please obey fair use laws. Attn. . The majority of sexually addicted people seek a long-term committed relationship. Yet. take the Sexual Addiction Interview and the interviews in The Most Personal Addiction. In some cases. But their sexual addiction creates an impersonal barrier between the relationship they want to develop and the addictive fantasy life they're obsessed with. Relationships don't have to end because of sex addiction. in most cases she will stay until the bitter end trying to save her relationship. there is a special interview in The Most Personal Addiction for partners of sexually addicted people. Researchers. If you are not sure your sexual activity is addictive or if you want to learn how it affects your relationship. * Those who have a sexual addiction that conflicts with their genuine. She also might feel that her relationship is hopelessly lost to sexual addiction. loving relationship. Thank you. The person whose relationships are defined by sexual addiction uses people for an addictive fix. this type of sex addict doesn't get into long-term relationships. Students.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 10 of 15 Effects of Sex Addiction on The Partner When it comes to relationships. sexually addicted people can be classified into two major groups: * Those who seek relationships to satisfy their addiction. Characteristically. When the partner discovers that her man is sexually addicted. he doesn't realize it until he loses the relationship.

SexualControl.com .The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 11 of 15 Contact: http://www.

Those sexually addicted people who spend money on their addiction usually don't realize how much they're spending. Every addicted person deludes him or herself about the real costs of their addiction. Even the person with a porn addiction who gets his porn for free on the Internet pays for his addiction by investing his valuable time and precious effort into fantasy. Students.com . Losing your job. Please obey fair use laws.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 12 of 15 Sexual Addiction and Financial Issues Sexual addiction is not free. The Sex Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction offer more advice about the personal and financial aspects of sexual addiction. They're the lesser ones compared to the loss of genuine loving intimacy. avoid intimacy and still make lots of money. Webmasters and everyone else. The toll that sexual addiction takes on a relationship and the emotional isolation it causes cannot be healed by money. They don't want to look at the financial costs because adding up how much they've spent can ruin the fantasy." Another way of expressing this sentiment is. Sometimes the loss of money is the least painful price. Everything has a price. But you can't buy your way into love and you can't buy your way out of addiction. Attn.SexualControl." The real riches in life are gained through intimacy and effectively dealing with reality. Contact: http://www. "The best things in life are free. being sued. sinking into bankruptcy. But money can't buy you love. "The smallest personal consequence is money. There is an old saying. Money can buy plenty. You can escape reality. The worst price paid for sexual addiction is loss of an intimate relationship. A sex addict can invest hours surfing the Internet and not even realize he's lost an entire evening to sex addiction until the sun comes up to remind him that there is a life outside of fantasy. or loss of savings are some of the other consequences of sexual addiction. Researchers. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. Thank you. Another high price is finding yourself trapped in a world of emotional isolation.

or any other non-intimate activity. "I don't want to be stuck with just one flavor of ice cream. but they are not emotionally committed to the partner. Some people read a book. sex is just another form of taking a warm bath. The partner is a human sex toy. (Note: if the infidelity involves an emotional affair based on a real connection. The path to overcoming sex addiction for both persons is traveled by opening oneself up to the need for intimacy. The difference between meaningless sex and loving sex is the difference between addiction and intimacy Meaningless sex releases a person from emotional vulnerability. By comparison. They are both attempting to avoid intimacy. or spend time with friends. "The lying and betrayal hurt more than the unfaithful sex. Ask any person who's been victimized by infidelity and they will tell you." The unfaithful person needs to go beyond just sex addiction. Infidelity. and Meaningless Sex A promiscuous person has meaningless sexual encounters with numerous people. The person might be completely faithful to his or her partner. Some people take a warm bath for relaxation and enjoyment. But the underlying emotions behind the unfaithful activity are the same: sex without intimacy or emotional involvement. the unfaithful person might be promiscuous or might be unfaithful with only one person. The promiscuous person doesn't even make the effort to create any kind of loyal relationship. take a walk. In the context of sexual addiction. Infidelity occurs when someone in a committed relationship is unfaithful to his or her partner. For the person with one meaningless sex partner. some people who engage in meaningless sex have only one partner. As one promiscuous person told me. it might not be addictive behavior. To him. He or she needs to deal with honesty issues also. listen to music." He wasn't kidding. people were just different flavors to be sampled and discarded. Genuine loving sex requires commitment and emotional vulnerability. The promiscuous person and the person who has meaningless sex with only one partner share a common trait. Helping the promiscuous person overcome his or her sexual addiction is more difficult than helping the person who engages in meaningless sex but is not promiscuous.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 13 of 15 Promiscuity.) What makes infidelity worse than promiscuity or meaningless sex with one person is the lying and dishonesty that accompanies the unfaithful acts. people are interchangeable bodies. To him or her. .

com . Students. Webmasters and everyone else. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. For a more in-depth discussion about these sex addictions. Download or print the first 48 chapters of The Most Personal Addiction. Thank you. Contact: http://www.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 14 of 15 The Most Personal Addiction discusses honesty issues and other factors necessary for overcoming sexual addiction. Attn. Please obey fair use laws. Researchers.SexualControl.

his addiction falls into the category of addictive sex with another person.SexualControl. Voyeurism (the Peeping Tom syndrome) also removes the sex addict from emotional vulnerability. It enables the sex addict to escape the demands of a real relationship and gain a short-term sexual pleasure that leads to a life of continual loneliness. Please obey fair use laws. the voyeur seeks sexual pleasure without the risk of intimacy or even revealing himself. Students. The fetish enables the sexually addicted person to experience sexual pleasure without even the fantasy of human contact. Researchers. Unfortunately. However. not a person. The Sexual Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction will give you more insights regarding the underlying causes of these and other sexual addictions. Although there is no physical contact between the participants and they don't even see each other. there are many different forms of sexual addiction. A fetish addiction is a more detached escape from reality because the focus of the addiction is on an object. the sexually addicted person is using the other person for sexual stimulation he could not experience alone. And he doesn't respect the privacy of the people he spies on. Contact: http://www. Thank you. It is certainly a form of sexually addictive behavior with someone else. Phone sex is another form of addictive sex with someone else. Through this form of sexual addiction. Webmasters and everyone else. it is in the category of addictive sex alone. Necrophilia is the morbid fantasy of fantasies.com . the necrophiliac can face reality and gain control over their addictive sex life. Nymphomania is a form of promiscuity. With help.The Home Page Topics Copyright Joe Zychik 1999-2008 Page 15 of 15 Types of sex addiction Unlike alcoholism. In some instances the object is used to stimulate a fantasy of human contact. Attn. The need for loving intimacy and genuine emotional involvement cannot be replaced through promiscuity. This article is copyright Joe Zychik 2008. most necrophiliacs won't even acknowledge that they're morbidly addicted. Since the voyeur relies on using another person for sexual stimulation. Sadomasochism goes beyond avoiding intimacy. It is based on gaining sexual pleasure through destructive and humiliating sex acts. any sexual compulsion towards objects intensifies intimacy problems that can lead to divorce or a life of emotional isolation. If no other person is involved.

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