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The 1st Branch of this IQ Matrix Mind Map provides you with several guidelines that
will set you on course to become a more effective and proficient negotiator.
The mindset you bring into each and every negotiation is just as important as the
techniques, tactics and tools you utilize throughout the negotiation process. For this
reason we will break down the essential mindset that is required for effective negotiation,
before analyzing the strategies and tools that will support you on your way towards
reaching a win/win agreement.
A Negotiator’s Beliefs
An effective Negotiator has a powerful set of underlying beliefs and convictions that help
determine the decisions they will make throughout the negotiation process.
The following 3 beliefs create the backbone for effective decision making. By taking time
each day to ingrain them into your habitual patterns of thought, will give you a superior
advantage as you progress through each negotiation scenario.
• “Everything is Negotiable”
• “No Negotiation is Ever Final”
• “Preparation is the Key to Success”
Flexible
Patient
An effective Negotiator is patient at all times throughout the negotiation process. They
thoroughly understand that negotiations must never be rushed or hurried, otherwise
mistakes and oversights can be made which could stall the negotiation process even
further or result in an unfavorable outcome for all parties concerned.
Indifferent to Outcomes
An effective Negotiator is fully aware that they must not attach themselves to a specific
outcome. They realize that when they are attached to an outcome that they desire to
achieve, that the more likely they are to become emotionally involved, which could lead
to ineffective and hurried decisions that could sabotage the negotiation process and lead
to a set of unfavorable scenarios.
Emotionally Proactive
An effective Negotiator remains in full control of their emotional reactions at all times
throughout the negotiation process. They firmly realize that one emotional slip could put
them at a disadvantage and may thusly ruin their chances of reaching a favorable
outcome. As a result they stay emotionally detached from every statement that they make
or that is brought to mind by their Opponent. Moreover, effective Negotiators only think
logically about their circumstances in order to reach an effective agreement that satisfies
all parties involved.
To become a more effective Negotiator it helps to develop a set of skills that will provide
you with a solid foundation of understanding and flexibility to move you through the
negotiation process more successfully.
The following list presents some of these critical skills that you must develop if you seek
to become a more proficient negotiator:
Communication Skills
Communication is the ability to speak, listen, persuade, write and create rapport with
your Opponent. In essence these are fundamental and critical skills that we utilize to one
extent or another on a daily basis while interacting with the people in our lives. We
therefore - on one level or another - all have a deep understanding and insight into these
abilities. However, most of us simply don’t consciously utilize them to great effect
throughout the negotiation process.
Listening Ability
When another person is talking we often “hear” what they are saying, however, it is rare
to find a person who really listens and understands at a deep level what the other person
is going through.
When it comes to effective negotiation, you must teach yourself to “hear the words” that
the other person is speaking, while at the same time listening to the underlying patterns of
their spoken language, their hidden meaning, and the needs that this person is trying to
express through their words and phrasing. Only in this way will you truly grasp a
thorough and comprehensive insight into the complexities of this person’s mind and
thoughts.
Speaking Skills
When it comes to getting our message across to another person, it is important that we
communicate and express ourselves clearly and concisely. We must be very careful that
the meaning of our words does not get misinterpreted by the other person, otherwise the
message we are trying to get across will simply go missing. This is why it is so very
important to pronounce each word clearly with the correct emotional undertones that we
are attempting to get across to our Opponent throughout the negotiation.
Rapport Creation
Creating rapport between you an your Opponent throughout the negotiation process
involves a combination of listening and speaking skills that are intermingled with body
language and the subtle conscious use of “mirror” and “matching” techniques that reflect
your Opponent’s traits, values, beliefs and habitual patterns of behavior. We will discuss
this in more detail a little further within this article post.
Writing Ability
Persuasive Ability
Your ability to persuade another person to your way of thinking effectively stems from
all the above communication variables that we discussed. Each one adorns you with a
“layer of influence” that you can utilize to win your Opponent’s heart throughout the
negotiation process. However, pure persuasion is in itself an extensive topic that can be
expanded significantly, and clearly deserves it’s own IQ Matrix Mind Map poster. We
will therefore expand on all aspects of Persuasion and Influence in a future article post.
An effective Negotiator must be able to think creatively about every aspect of the
negotiation process in order to identify hidden opportunities, potential areas of
agreement, and unquestioned scenarios that could result in the establishment of favorable
outcomes for all parties concerned. For more information, please read Unlocking Your
Creative Genius Potential IQ Matrix Mind Map.
An effective Negotiator clearly understands that their emotions and body language will
often reveal their true intentions, opinions and thoughts. As a result they are always
consciously vigilant of their non-verbal body language and emotional tendencies.
An effective Negotiator is clearly aware of the underlying meaning of body language and
the variety of deceptive tactics that others utilize on a consistent basis in order to gain the
upper-hand throughout the negotiation process. Body Language and Deception are both
extensive topics that we will dedicate an entire IQ Matrix Mind Map to in the future.
Foresight
Finally, an effective Negotiator has an uncanny ability to predict future outcomes and
circumstances based on subtle clues that are revealed throughout the negotiation process.
Like a Grandmaster Chess Champion, they are able to predict their Opponent’s moves
several steps ahead, and can therefore layout an effective plan of action that will assist
them to attain a favorable outcome as the negotiations wind down.
You will gain an advantage over your Opponent as an effective negotiator by ensuring
that you step into each negotiation session with superior knowledge and understanding of
not only your side of the proposal, but also your Opponent’s.
Gain knowledge by collecting and collating the following information about the subject
you will be negotiating:
Each of the above will help to lay down a solid foundation that will give you a serious
advantage before the negotiation process even begins. However, you must be thorough
with your research and must understanding your Opponent’s personality traits and
tendencies comprehensively.
The following 8 Steps present a comprehensive break down of the negotiation process.
Keep in mind that it isn’t essential that you move through all steps in chronological order.
Instead the list is there to simply guide and present you with an outline of how a typical
negotiation process might progress moving towards a favorable outcome.
1. Prepare
While preparing for your negotiation you must first gain clarity on what it is that you
would like to attain from this negotiation session. You must also gather an understanding
of your Opponent’s needs, priorities, boundaries, goals and emotional tendencies. We
discuss the Preparation Stage in greater length on the 2nd Branch of this IQ Matrix Mind
Map poster.
2. Begin
Begin the 2nd Phase of the Negotiation process by stating your Case to your Opponent.
Simply paint a picture of your position by telling your Opponent a story comprising of
logical arguments and emotional involvement. When everything is said and done you
must state your “need” as a result of the contextual situation. In other words, your
Opponent must know exactly what you would like to gain from this negotiation with
them.
Once your Opponent has heard your Case, it is now their turn to state their position on the
situation. While they are talking, gently, curiously and innocently probe for
understanding by using the simple process of asking ever deeper questions that will help
you determine your Opponent’s legitimate “wants”. You must essentially come away
from this stage of the negotiation process with a clear impression of what it is that your
Opponent “wants”, “needs” and “hopes” to gain from this negotiation. When you come to
an understanding of what “drives” your Opponent, than you will have a greater array of
ammunition to work with in order to persuade your Opponent to your way of thinking.
3. Argue
The 3rd Phase of the negotiation process is known as the “argumentative period”.
Throughout this Phase you must first attempt to weaken your Opponent’s position by
pointing out holes within their argument, facts, stats and data. At the same time you must
effectively show that you are indifferent to the potential outcomes of this negotiation, and
are willing to walk away if a favorable agreement is not reached.
Throughout this Phase you must also strengthen your own personal case by making
logical arguments and providing strong evidence to support the claims you are making.
On top of this, provide your Opponent with high levels of benefit if they agree
wholeheartedly to your terms.
Finally, you must also prepare yourself to deal with “Head-on” attacks that your
Opponent will throw at you. Simply repel these attacks by pointing out to your Opponent
that you are fully aware of what they are doing, and that you will not accept being taken
advantage of.
4. Explore
The 4th Phase of the negotiation process involves exploring possible options. You must
work on unraveling areas of similarity, agreement and difference that both of you
presented within the 3rd Phase of the negotiation process. Your goal here is to bring to
mind possible solutions that could potentially satisfy all parties involved within the
negotiation.
5. Signal
The 5th Phase of the negotiation process must bring your arguments and explorations full
circle. You have to signal to your Opponent that you are ready to work together and reach
an effective outcome that will satisfy all parties involved. Do this by displaying a good
open posture and body language, by communicating honestly about your willingness to
negotiate a suitable outcome, and by talking of the possibilities that could arise once the
negotiation has been finalized.
6. Package
The 6th Phase of the negotiation process must identify potential agreeable trades that can
be made by both parties in order to reach a favorable outcome for everyone concerned.
Here you would make conditional proposals to your Opponent about specific aspects of
the negotiation. Packaging your proposals effectively will further assist you to gain
greater leverage at this stage of the negotiation process.
7. Close
The 7th Phase of the negotiation involves the process of closing the deal. Simply agree to
the terms of the arrangement making sure that you have established a favorable outcome
for yourself and all parties concerned.
8. Sustain
The final Phase of the negotiation process involves standing by the promises you made to
your Opponent, and potentially re-negotiating a new agreement if circumstances change.
For a thorough and detailed analysis of this 8 Step Negotiation Process, it is highly
recommended that you visit the Changing Minds Website.
The 2nd Branch of this IQ Matrix Mind Map breaks down the fundamental things you
should be focusing on before you physically step into a negotiation situation.
Your very first step when preparing for a negotiation is to thoroughly question your
Opponent from all possible angles and perspectives. The insights you gain here will help
you to adjust your personal negotiation style to best fit your Opponent’s psychological
tendencies, strengths, weaknesses and objectives.
The first areas to analyze are your Opponent’s Personal Drivers. These “drivers” are
intricately connected to the MasterMind Matrix and determine your Opponent’s
psychological tendencies, motives and behaviors.
Emotional Tendencies
Values and Beliefs determine how your Opponent views the world and how they
prioritize their life, decisions and actions. Beliefs can also unlock hidden fears, anxieties
and concerns that you can utilize to your advantage throughout the negotiation process.
Your goal is to dissect these Value and Belief patterns, determine the influence they have
over your Opponent’s decision making ability, and develop an appropriate strategy on
how to effectively use this information to your advantage throughout the negotiation
process.
Everyone comes into a negotiation with specific and somewhat “loose” objectives, goals
and outcomes that they would like to obtain. Your job is to dissect what goals and
objectives your Opponent is going to bring into the negotiation, determine the importance
and priority that these goals have over their decision making ability, and develop a
strategy on how to effectively use this information to your advantage throughout the
negotiation process.
Finally, determining what goals both of you share will help develop rapport and will
assist you to gain common ground as you work your way through the negotiation. To
gain a deeper insight into the process of effective goal setting, please read the Keys to
SMART Goal Setting IQ Matrix Mind Map.
Time Frames
Your Opponent will most likely come into the negotiation with a certain and specific
Time Frame that they would like to work with. If you are able to identify this Time
Frame, and then determine the reasons behind these time constraints, or are able to
constrict them in someway, than it will provide you with a significant advantage as you
work your way through the negotiation process.
There is a distinct and clear difference between what your Opponent “wants” and what
they “need” or will “settle for” when the negotiation is finalized. Your goal is to
determine the differences and develop an effective negotiation approach that will show
your Opponent that their “wants” are clearly not in your best interest, while on the other-
hand, helping satisfy their “needs” can bring about a fruitful agreement for all parties
concerned. Ask yourself:
A Certain or Specific Action: Your Opponent may want you to do something specific
for them.
Material Possessions: Your Opponent may want possession of something that you have.
Your Personal Knowledge or Experience: Your Opponent may want access to personal
knowledge or information you have or control.
A Vision and Mission statement helps give you an insight into the values, beliefs and
principles that a Company seeks to project through their sales, marketing and public
relations personnel. You can utilize these insights to gain the upper-hand throughout the
negotiation process. This can be done in one of two ways. First to point out
inconsistencies in your Opponent’s actions that clearly contradict the Company’s vision
or mission statement, and secondly to help you structure your arguments more effectively
- aligning them with the main principles presented within these declarations.
Company Goals
A Company’s Goals and Objectives present you with their long-term future outlook and
the progressive steps that they will take in order to reach these outcomes. You can utilize
this knowledge to structure your argument in such a manner that their long-term goals
and objectives naturally align themselves to the goals and outcomes that you seek to
attain from this particular negotiation.
Company Strategy
Every Company has a marketing message and a corporate strategy that they “work into”
every interaction they have with the marketplace and their customers. Once you become
familiar with this strategy, you will be better able to adapt your approach before sitting
down at the negotiation table. For instance, you would negotiate somewhat differently
with a representative of a Company with a conservative strategy, than with someone
whose Company is well known for their willingness to take risks and chances.
Opponent’s Expectations
Finally, you must gather an understanding of your Opponent’s expectations coming into
the negotiation session. These expectations will effectively determine their strategy,
approach, and willingness to make concessions. Ask yourself:
After a thorough examination of your Opponent, your next step is to take some time to
question the Potential Outcomes and Variables of the negotiation. Here are some things
you must consider:
How much do these alternative solutions matter for me and for my Opponent?
Potential Trades
Your potential “Trades” are the negotiating chips you will use to sway your Opponent
towards a favorable outcome. You must essentially determine what it is that your
Opponent perceives as valuable that you could trade in order to spice up the
negotiation. Now, keep in mind that this “thing” you are trading does not necessarily
have to have value for you personally. As long as your Opponent sees that it is valuable
for them, than that is all that matters. Now, in order to show your Opponent that what you
are offering them is valuable, you must gain a deep understanding of their Personal and
Company Drivers that we discussed in the previous section.
Finally, you must determine who holds the influential power within the negotiation. You
can gather an understanding of these “balancing scales” by reflecting upon which Party
has control over critical resources, knowledge, status and skills. Once you are
consciously aware of the “balance of Power”, you can as a consequence better prepare
your arguments in order to weaken your Opponent’s “Power Position” while at the same
time strengthening your own position within the negotiation.
Ask yourself the following three questions to expand your thinking in this area:
Who holds the power within this negotiation?
Questioning Yourself
Once you have questioned your Opponent and the potential outcomes and variables of the
negotiation, you must now switch the spotlight on yourself and gain clarity about your
personal motives, needs, and the objectives you would like to obtain from this
negotiation. Here are three important things you should consider:
Gather a clear and concise understanding of the goals and outcomes you would like to
achieve as a result of this negotiation.
BEWARE… if you step into the negotiation process without knowing what it is you
WANT, than you will walk away from the negotiation with an unfavorable outcome that
will leave you feeling empty and guilt-ridden. On the other hand, having clarity about
what it is you would like to obtain from the negotiation will allow you to better plan and
prepare an effective strategy that will move you towards a favorable outcome. For further
information about goal setting, please read the Keys to SMART Goal Setting IQ Matrix
Mind Map.
Ask yourself:
How will I know when I have reached and achieved this goal?
What signs or variables must I keep a lookout for that will help guide me towards
my objectives?
Determine what it is that is driving and motivating you towards the goals and objectives
you have laid out for yourself. Keep in mind that at times your “motives” may blind you
from seeing the most important issues that you actually “need” in order to reach a
favorable outcome. You must essentially filter out the “garbage” while staying true to
your highest ideals, values and standards. Asking yourself the following questions will
provide you with some clarity:
Are these motives aligned with my highest ideals, values and standards?
Finally, you must gain clarity about the personal “needs” that you would like to satisfy as
a result of this negotiation.
Keep in mind that your “needs” are very different to your “wants”. The 1st is something
that is required unconditionally just like the body needs food and water to survive, while
the 2nd has a whole set of variables attached to it that are great to have, however they
aren’t necessary when looking from the perspective of the “bigger picture”.
By thoroughly understanding your “needs” you will be better able to position yourself to
more effectively target your goals throughout the negotiation process.
When it comes to planning out your negotiation, there is probably no better tool than
mind mapping. Mind Maps will help you to see the bigger picture and the interconnecting
pieces of each and every variable of the negotiation. On top of this, Mind Maps will help
you layout your plan of action in an orderly manner making sure that you cover all the
necessary points that will assist you to obtain a favorable outcome.
If however you are overwhelmed with the thought of mapping out all the variables of the
negotiation process, than a good starting point is to simply Mind Map the potential areas
of Agreement and Disagreement that could result from the negotiation. This Mind Map
will help you to workaround potential obstacles and opportunities, while enabling you to
gain a deeper understanding of your Opponent. Try it once to see the benefits for
yourself.
Once you have gained clarity about your Opponent’s Drivers, the potential outcomes and
variables of the negotiation, and your own goals, motives and needs; now you are ready
to determine the location where the negotiation will take place. The location you select
must support your goals and objectives, while at the same time providing you with a
psychological advantage.
Factors that you should consider when setting up an effective location for the negotiation
are as follows:
• Room Setting
• Temperature
• Lighting
• Ambiance
• Decor including chairs and tables
• Refreshments
• Physical Space
• Time of Meeting
• Seat Positioning
How you position your Chair in relation to your Opponent’s Chair can effectively
determine the outcome of the negotiation in many unexpected ways.
Your “seat positioning” could very well determine how your Opponent perceives you and
responds to your arguments, while at the same time limiting or expanding your ability to
influence your Opponent emotionally, verbally and/or physically. Here are some quick
guidelines:
When you are sitting Side-by-Side with your Opponent this signifies a spirit of
cooperation. From this position you have a full view of their body language,
mannerisms, and you are better able to connect with them physically.
When you are sitting on an angled position in relation to your Opponent, this signifies
and naturally stimulates conversation. This is usually the most ideal seating position to
take up at the onset of your negotiation session. As your discussion advances and moves
forward you can progressively shift into the side-by-side sitting position to further
enhance the feelings of cooperation between the two of you.
When you are sitting opposite your Opponent this signifies confrontation. This is
especially evident when there is a table or desk “parting” your interactions, which
effectively creates a barrier that prevents physical contact and visibility of the lower parts
of your Opponent’s body. This is significant, because the lower part of the body can often
display subtle signals that will provide you with deep insights into your Opponent’s
patterns of thought and emotion. We will discuss how to read Body Language in great
depth in a future IQ Matrix Mind Map.
To Do List: During Your Negotiation
The 3rd Branch of this IQ Matrix Mind Map provides you with several techniques,
strategies, tools and guidelines that you can utilize throughout the negotiation process.
What to DO During a Negotiation
What you do before your negotiation session goes hand-in-hand with the steps you must
consciously take throughout your negotiations.
Below we discuss some fundamental principles that you must take time to learn, cultivate
and apply into your negotiation rituals in order to become a more efficient and effective
negotiator. Keep in mind that this list is by no means complete. In fact it only represents a
small portion of what is required. However, mastering this small portion will significantly
strengthen your proficiency as an effective negotiator, and in many ways it will do more
for you than if you were to learn a 100 different negotiation or persuasive tactics, which
in itself can become a rather overwhelming and daunting experience.
Master the following principles first and foremost, and you will be well on your way
towards becoming a very effective and clever negotiator.
Maintaining a resourceful state will allow you to think more effectively, clearly and
creatively. It will also enable you to project a powerful and radiant energy that will be
perceived by others as a display of confidence, which can easily turn into respect and
admiration.
Your next objective is to first develop and later maintain a strong rapport with your
Opponent. This is done in several ways involving the process of Mirroring and Matching.
We will discuss these principles in greater detail and depth in a future IQ Matrix Mind
Map, however for the time being here are a few guidelines to get you started:
Observe your Opponent carefully taking notice of their facial gestures, body language,
and the verbal language they persistently utilize. Particularly pay attention to words they
use to express themselves.
Once you are aware of your Opponent’s subtle tendencies and habitual patterns of
behavior, begin slowly (gradual progressive mirroring is the key here) mirroring their
facial gestures, body language and the words that they use to express their feelings and
emotions. Slowly but surely as you persist with this method you will find that your
Opponent begins to feel more comfortable around you. This will thusly allow you to
connect with them at a deeper and more profound level.
Your Opponent has a set of beliefs, values and habits that makeup their personality and
characteristics. In order to connect with them at a deeper level, they must see that you are
“like them” in at least a few subtle ways. By consciously matching their beliefs and
values will show your Opponent that you stand by the same principles that they believe
in. This will thusly help you to build a stronger and longer lasting relationship with your
Opponent.
Communicate Clearly
Finally building rapport with your Opponent requires that you communicate clearly,
succinctly and efficiently. If your Opponent cannot understand your point of view, than
you will struggle to build a good solid relationship and will likewise hurt your chances of
reaching a favorable outcome.
When we enter a negotiation it is very easy to get carried away with the problems and
obstacles that negotiations bring to the forefront of our minds. Sometimes these problems
grow so large that it is difficult to see the opportunities and solutions that would help both
of you reach a favorable outcome. The answer simply lies in “Solution Oriented
Thinking”.
The following presents you with just a few ideas that will enable and encourage you to
think in solution oriented ways:
Chunk Up
When you can’t see eye-to-eye with your Opponent and you begin to feel that problems
are getting in the way of your negotiations, decide immediately to Chunk Up seeking
common global interests (the bigger picture) that you and your Opponent share. These
interests will help you establish areas of common ground that you can agree upon and
therefore work from in order to reach a favorable outcome.
Chunk Down
When you can’t see eye-to-eye with your Opponent and you begin to feel that problems
are getting in the way of your negotiations, decide immediately to Chunk Down seeking
common agreement specifics that you and your Opponent share. You may not see the
same solution, however there may very well be certain aspects of this solution that you
both acknowledge and can agree upon. Simply identify these aspects and work on re-
establishing rapport and finding common ground.
When solutions seem to be too few and far between, than simply flip the switch and
focus on common problems that both of you share. From here you can both work
together to identify possible solutions to these problems that will help all parties
concerned reach a favorable outcome.
Sometimes it’s our common problems that bring forth the greatest insights and ideas.
Building rapport with your Opponent and seeking solution oriented outcomes requires
that you minimize making statements and rather focus on asking solution based
questions that will expand your Opponent’s thinking and reflective abilities. By learning
to ask more effective questions will also assist you to gather the information you need
from your Opponent to successfully swing the negotiation pendulum in your favor. For
more information about effective questioning, please read Strategic Life Questioning
Tactics IQ Matrix Mind Map.
There are a variety of opinions about when you should finalize and seal a negotiation.
Some believe you should work for a win/loss scenario (you win and your Opponent
loses), while others stand by the claim that the only way to walk away from a negotiation
is when both parties have achieved a favorable outcome. The second option in most
instances is your better long-term solution. We are here to fight for what we want, yet at
the same time we would be doing others an injustice if we were to make them feel
regretful and remorseful after the negotiation has concluded.
You never know when you are going to need someone’s help or assistance in the future.
Therefore a win/win scenario is always the best outcome for a vast majority of
negotiations.
The principles of pain and pleasure are persuasive negotiation tactics, that if utilized to
their fullest potential, can and will checkmate your Opponent. This is in actuality quite an
extensive topic that will be the focus of a future IQ Matrix Mind Map. However, for the
purpose of negotiation, keep in mind that your Opponent will psychologically make
decisions based on experiencing the feelings of immediate pleasure in the moment,
while at the same time they will do whatever it takes to move away from the feelings of
experiencing immediate pain.
You can effectively utilize this knowledge to your advantage by progressively showing
your Opponent that if they agree to your terms that it will bring them immediate
pleasure, and if they don’t agree to your terms that it will bring them immediate and
long-term pain. On the other hand, it is important to convince your Opponent that
agreeing to their terms will bring them immediate and long-term pain. They may not
initially see it that way, but as an effective negotiator, it is your responsibility to lead
them down this path.
Again, this is quite a comprehensive topic that we will discuss in great depth at a later
time. If you don’t quite understand how it works, than that’s okay. More details will be
revealed at a later time that will expand on the ideas presented within this section.
Intelligent people will not be easily convinced by the use of emotional persuasive tactics.
However, if you present them with a logical argument that breaks down your point of
view into facts, stats and data that they cannot disprove, than you will effectively win
them over to your way of thinking.
Without going into too much detail, here is a simple list of some of my favorite tactics
that I like to utilize throughout the negotiation process:
• Proactively vary your emotions from “stunned” to “relaxed” depending on the context
of the situation.
• Simply walk away from the negotiation to signify your detached connection to the
outcome.
• Present your Opponent with Rock Solid facts that they cannot argue against.
• Delay the negotiation in order to build tension.
• Paint a gloomy picture of an undesirable outcome.
• Make the “unimportant issues” essential, then concede them at a later time with
hesitation.
• Create a plethora of alternate options and solutions.
• Set the deadline for the negotiation. Do not allow your Opponent to do this for you.
• Allow 72 hours of solid thinking time before you agree to a negotiation.
• Utilize silences effectively.
• Negotiate utilizing smaller chunks.
Finally, once you have more or less settled on a few potential options for a fair and
favorable agreement, take some time to Future Pace these outcomes in order to identify
potential breakdowns, holes, weaknesses and drawbacks that may arise. To do this,
simply begin by asking yourself the following two questions:
Negotiating a successful and favorable outcome very often rests upon “NOT” what You
DO during a negotiation, but rather upon what you Refrain from DOING.
The following list presents you with a set of simple yet very important guidelines of what
NOT do DO during the negotiation process:
Here are a few words you should refrain from using throughout the negotiation process.
• “If…”
• “Try…”
• “Hope…”
• “Should…”
• “Can’t…”
• “But…”
Each of these words has a negative or weak (in terms of self-esteem) connotation
associated with it that may very well ruin your chances of attaining a favorable outcome.
When we think narrowly in absolutes we see our Opponent or the situation as being black
or white, good or bad, right or wrong, clever or dumb, etc. We also limit our ability to
think “outside the box”. We don’t necessarily have to have everything our way in order to
walk away from the negotiation with a feeling of satisfaction. Sometimes we actually hurt
the negotiation process by being unreasonably stubborn and unwilling to bend to the
changing landscape of the negotiation.
It is NOT the most solid of Trees that stands up to the brutal force of the winds, but
rather the Tree that is willing to bend and sway to the wind’s shifting directions.
This of course does not mean that the Tree doesn’t stand it’s ground. On the contrary, it’s
roots remain firmly entrenched into mother earth. However, because of it’s ability to
sway with the forces of the winds, it is better able to deal with the changing weather
patterns.
No matter how much faith you have in your Opponent, there is every chance that they
will say and do things that will strengthen their position - while weakening yours - that
may not be based on truth or fact. As an effective Negotiator you must be consciously
vigilant to this possibility, and should therefore utilize effective questioning tactics to
ensure that what your Opponent is saying stands up to your Critical Thinking methods.
Sometimes we rush negotiations so very quickly that we simply do not have the time to
identify potential opportunities for agreement that could benefit all parties involved
within the negotiation process. In such instances it is better to walk away from the
negotiation, to gather your thoughts, and then step back into the negotiation at a later time
with more clarity and ammunition that will help you attain a favorable outcome.
Negotiations can at times plateau into a discussion about ever expanding small irrelevant
issues that simply don’t need to be resolved. By getting lost in these insignificant details,
we simply lose track of the bigger picture. What’s worse, is that we simply don’t realize
that by sorting out the bigger picture will efficiently resolve a whole plethora of smaller
interconnected problems; effectively killing two birds with one stone.
No matter how much you like to argue and fight your personal point of view - the
purpose of a negotiation is to reach a favorable resolution that is most ideal for all parties
concerned. It is simply not worth your time and effort to keep hitting your head against a
brick wall if the wall is just going to stand its ground. Instead focus on building rapport
with your Opponent, on finding common ground, and on tackling shared problems that
will lead to a satisfactory solution for all concerned.
When it comes to effective negotiations, there are times when we should be talking, and
other times when we must listen and hear our Opponent’s point of view. Sometimes it
can be so very easy for us to get caught up thinking about what we are going to say next
while our Opponent is stating their point of view. This is a red flag and a suicide notice
that will undoubtedly cause communication breakdowns and result in a failed outcome
that doesn’t favor either party.
Finally, do you really want to back a lion into a corner? This is no doubt a very
dangerous situation to be in.
Don’t ever back your Opponent into a corner. Even if you get the result that you wanted
from utilizing this tactic, your Opponent may very well end up walking away from the
negotiation with a feeling of emptiness. In such situations you may have lost more than
you gained including trust, respect and a potential alliance that could bring you even
greater rewards in the future.
Final Thoughts
Many inexperienced Negotiators quickly jump to the conclusion that negotiation is
nothing more than a process that requires a forceful and aggressive stance that subdues
the other person into accepting their proposal or solution. In reality, negotiation is a
delicate art that requires discipline, patience, and a deep seated understanding of yourself,
your Opponent and the subject and circumstances of your negotiation. It is in fact a gentle
balancing act that must be carefully planned out and pieced together from the very
beginning to allow both parties to walk away with a favorable win/win agreement.
I hope you enjoyed this post. If you have any further queries or questions, or would like
to share your experiences about this topic, than please do so in the comments section
below.
http://blog.iqmatrix.com/mind-map/negotiation-through-tactical-advantage-mind-map
Negotiating Style Profile
Third Edition
Introduce the theory and practice of collaborative negotiation with the Negotiating
Style Profile (NSP). Based on Ury and Fisher’s win-win model, the NSP offers a simple
framework for determining one’s negotiating style and the likely effect of that style in
a negotiating situation. Ultimately, participants will learn to focus on those skills and
methods that are likely to produce synergistic outcomes.
Learning Outcomes
Theory
The Model of Negotiating Styles at the center of Negotiating Style Profile is based on
relevant literature on negotiating practices, including Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher
and William Ury. These sources reveal that both concern for the outcome of the
negotiation and concern for the relationship appear to represent the most important
behaviors a negotiator can employ in an actual negotiation. Furthermore, it is clear
that a negotiator cannot be effective in both the short and long terms if he or she
emphasizes one set of concerns to the exclusion of the other.
Using the Participant Guide, individuals can create 2 profiles. The first profile is based
on an assessment of their own preferences for one of 5 negotiating styles: Defeat,
Withdraw, Accommodate, Compromise, or Collaborate. The optional second profile,
based on scores compiled from the peer Feedback Form, provides additional insight,
as many people who think they are collaborative learn that their associates may
disagree.
For more advanced negotiators who are familiar with the win-win model in NSP, see
Dealing with Tough Negotiators.
Order 1 Facilitator Guide per trainer. For each participant, order 1 Participant Guide
and at least 3 Feedback Forms.
• 30-item assessment
• Pressure-sensitive response form
• Interpretive information
• The Model of Negotiating Styles
• Characteristics of the 5 styles
• Action planning
www.hrdq.com