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Cleavage

or Soul?
From The Good Men Project Magazine
By Tom Matlack

What women do we love?


Let’s think about that for a
minute.
&ŽƌƐŽŵĞƟŵĞ͕ƐƋƵŝƌĞͶƚĂŐůŝŶĞ͗͞DĂŶĂƚ,ŝƐĞƐƚ͟ͶŚĂƐĨĞĂƚƵƌĞĚĂƐĞĐƟŽŶĐĂůůĞĚ͞tŽŵĞŶtĞ>ŽǀĞ͘͟/ǁĞŶƚ
ŽŶůŝŶĞƚŽƐĞĞƐŽŵĞŽĨƚŚĞǁŽŵĞŶ͞ŵĞŶĂƚƚŚĞŝƌďĞƐƚ͟ĂƌĞŝŶůŽǀĞǁŝƚŚ͘

dŚĞĞŝŐŚƚĂůůͲƟŵĞ;ƐƚƌĞƚĐŚŝŶŐďĂĐŬƚŽϮϬϬϮͿŵŽƐƚůŽǀĞĚǁŽŵĞŶĂƌĞ<ĂƚĞĞĐŬŝŶƐĂůĞ͕DĞŐĂŶ&Ždž͕<ĂƚLJWĞƌƌLJ͕
ŚƌŝƐƟŶĂ,ĞŶĚƌŝĐŬƐ͕ŶŶĂdŽƌǀ͕ŶŐĞůŝŶĂ:ŽůŝĞ͕ĞĂƵ'ĂƌƌĞƩ͕ĂŶĚDŽŶŝĐĂĞůůƵĐĐŝ͘/ŶƚŚĞƚŚƵŵďŶĂŝůƉƌĞǀŝĞǁ
ƐŚŽƚƐ͕ƚǁŽŽĨƚŚĞǁŽŵĞŶĂƉƉĞĂƌƚŽďĞƉƵƫŶŐĂƚůĞĂƐƚŽŶĞĮŶŐĞƌŝŶƚŚĞŝƌŵŽƵƚŚƐ͕ŽŶĞŝƐůLJŝŶŐŝŶďĞĚƐĞĚƵĐƟǀĞͲ
ůLJ͕ŽŶĞŝƐǁĞĂƌŝŶŐĂǁĞƚdͲƐŚŝƌƚ͕ĂŶĚŽŶĞŚĂƐŚĞƌůŝƉƐƉĂƌƚĞĚƐƵŐŐĞƐƟǀĞůLJ͘KŶůLJŶŐĞůŝŶĂ͛ƐŝŵĂŐĞƐƵŐŐĞƐƚƐƐŽŵĞ
ŬŝŶĚŽĨƐĞůĨͲƌĞƐƉĞĐƚ͘

/ĐůŝĐŬŽŶďƵƐƟĞƌͲĐůĂĚ<ĂƚLJWĞƌƌLJĂŶĚƐŬŝƉĚŽǁŶƚŽƚŚĞŝŶƚĞƌǀŝĞǁ͕ƚƌLJŝŶŐƚŽŝŐŶŽƌĞDƐ͘WĞƌƌLJŝŶĨƵůůďůĂĐŬůŝŶŐĞƌŝĞ͕
ĐŽŵƉůĞƚĞǁŝƚŚŐĂƌƚĞƌďĞůƚ͘ŌĞƌĂůů͕ƚŚŝƐŝƐĂďŽƵƚŵĂŶĂƚŚŝƐďĞƐƚ͖ƚŚĞƌĞŵƵƐƚďĞƐŽŵĞƚŚŝŶŐƐĞƌŝŽƵƐŚĞƌĞƚŚĂƚǁĞ
ĂůůůŽǀĞƐŽŵƵĐŚ͘

Ś͕ŚĞƌĞŝƚŝƐ͗͞/ĂůǁĂLJƐǁĂŶƚĞĚƚŽƐƵƐƉĞŶĚĨƌŽŵƚŚĞĐĞŝůŝŶŐŝŶĂƚǁŝƌůŝŶŐďĂŶĂŶĂ͕͟<ĂƚLJƚĞůůƐƐƋƵŝƌĞ͘
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tŚŽĂƌĞƚŚĞŵĞŶƐƋƵŝƌĞ͚ƐƚĂůŬŝŶŐĂďŽƵƚ͍tŚĂƚŝƐŝƚƚŚĂƚǁĞůŽǀĞĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞƐĞǁŽŵĞŶ͍dŚĞŝƌƚǁŝƌůŝŶŐͲďĂŶĂŶĂͲ
ƐǁŝŶŐĨĂŶƚĂƐŝĞƐ͍dŚĞŝƌĨĂĐƚŽƌLJͲĨƌĞƐŚ͞ďƌĞĂƐƚƐ͍͟dŚĞŝƌŶĂƵŐŚƚLJƐŵŝůĞƐ͍ƌĞƚŚŽƐĞƚŚŝŶŐƐƚƌƵůLJǁŚĂƚŵĞŶĂƚƚŚĞŝƌ
ďĞƐƚůŽǀĞĂďŽƵƚǁŽŵĞŶ͍

tŚĞŶ,ĂŶŶĂZŽƐŝŶǁƌŽƚĞĂďŽƵƚ͞dŚĞŶĚŽĨDĞŶ͟ŝŶdŚĞƚůĂŶƟĐ͕ƐŚĞƉŽŝŶƚĞĚƚŽƚŚĞĨĂĐƚƚŚĂƚǁŽŵĞŶƌĞƉƌĞͲ
ƐĞŶƚƚŚĞŵĂũŽƌŝƚLJŽĨƚŚĞǁŽƌŬĨŽƌĐĞĨŽƌƚŚĞĮƌƐƚƟŵĞŝŶh͘^͘ŚŝƐƚŽƌLJ͕ĂŶĚƚŚĂƚĨŽƌĞǀĞƌLJƚǁŽŵĞŶǁŚŽŐĞƚĂĐŽůͲ
ůĞŐĞĚĞŐƌĞĞƚŚŝƐLJĞĂƌ͕ƚŚƌĞĞǁŽŵĞŶǁŝůůĚŽƚŚĞƐĂŵĞ͘ƵƚƚŚĞƌĞŝƐƐŽŵĞƚŚŝŶŐŵŽƌĞďĂƐŝĐŐŽŝŶŐŽŶ͘

/ŶŵĞĚŝĂĂŶĚĐƵůƚƵƌĞ͕ŵĞŶĂƌĞŝŶĐƌĞĂƐŝŶŐůLJĐĂƌŝĐĂƚƵƌĞĚĂƐŬŶƵĐŬůĞͲĚƌĂŐŐŝŶŐĐĂƌƚŽŽŶĐŚĂƌĂĐƚĞƌƐ͕ƉĂƌƟĐƵůĂƌůLJ
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ƚŚĞƐƚƌŝƉĐůƵďƐ͕ƉŽƌŶǁĞďƐŝƚĞƐ͕ĂŶĚĞĚŝƟŶŐƐƉƌĞĂĚƐŝŶƐƋƵŝƌĞ͘tĞŚĂǀĞĂŶĞŶĞŵLJͶĂŶĚƚŚĞĞŶĞŵLJŝƐƵƐ͘

dŚĞƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJŽĨƐƋƵŝƌĞ͛Ɛ͞tŽŵĞŶtĞ>ŽǀĞ͟ƐĞĐƟŽŶŐĞƚƐĚŽǁŶƚŽƚŚĞǀĞƌLJĐŽƌĞŽĨǁŚĂƚŚĂƐŚĂƉƉĞŶĞĚƚŽ
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ZŽƐŝŶŝƐƌŝŐŚƚƚŚĂƚŵĞŶĂƌĞĚŽŽŵĞĚ͕ŝƚ͛ƐĨŽƌƚŚŝƐƌĞĂƐŽŶ͘

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͘
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ĂŝŵƐĂƚƚŚĞĨŽƌŵĞƌ͕ĨŽĐƵƐŝŶŐŽŶŶĂŬĞĚƉŝĐƚƵƌĞƐŽĨŝŵƉƌŽďĂďůLJƐŚĂƉĞĚ͕ƵŶĂƩĂŝŶĂďůĞŵŽǀŝĞƐƚĂƌƐǁŚŽƉůĂLJĚƵŵď
ĨŽƌŽƵƌƐĂƟƐĨĂĐƟŽŶ͘;/ƐƵƐƉĞĐƚƚŚĂƚ<ĂƚLJWĞƌƌLJŝƐƋƵŝƚĞďƌŝŐŚƚ͕ďĂŶĂŶĂƐĂƐŝĚĞ͘ŶĚůĂƌŐĞůLJ͕ŝƚ͛ƐŶŽƚƚŚĞǁŽŵĞŶ͛Ɛ
ĨĂƵůƚƚŚĞLJĂƉƉĞĂƌƐŽǀĂĐƵŽƵƐ͘Ϳ

DŽƐƚŽĨƚŚĞŐƵLJƐ/ŬŶŽǁĂƌĞƵŶĨƵůĮůůĞĚůŽŽŬŝŶŐĂƚƉŝĐƚƵƌĞƐŽĨǁŽŵĞŶƚŚĞLJǁŝůůŶĞǀĞƌŵĞĞƚ;ŶŽƚŽŶůLJĂƌĞƚŚĞLJ
ƵŶŵĞĞƚĂďůĞ͕ƚŚĞLJĚŽŶ͛ƚĂĐƚƵĂůůLJ͕ƚĞĐŚŶŝĐĂůůLJ͕ĞdžŝƐƚͿ͘dŚĞLJƉƌĞĨĞƌŵĂŬŝŶŐůŽǀĞǁŝƚŚĂǁŽŵĂŶǁŚŽƐƟƌƐƚŚĞŝƌƉĂƐͲ
ƐŝŽŶƐŽŶŵŽƌĞƚŚĂŶŽŶĞůĞǀĞů͘ƵƚǁĞŚĂǀĞďĞĞŶĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶĞĚůŝŬĞƐŽŵĂŶLJWĂǀůŽǀŝĂŶĚŽŐƐ͘

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ůŝŐĞŶĐĞ͕ƚŚĞŝƌǁŝƚ͕ƚŚĞŝƌĂƚŚůĞƟĐŝƐŵ͕ƚŚĞŝƌĐƌĞĂƟǀŝƚLJ͕ƚŚĞŝƌƉŽǁĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŝƌĨŽƌĐĞŽĨƉĞƌƐŽŶĂůŝƚLJ͘tĞƐĞĞŵƚŽŚĂǀĞ
ĨŽƌŐŽƩĞŶƚŚĂƚĂůŽŶŐƚŚĞǁĂLJ͕ĂŶĚŽƵƌďƌĂŝŶͲŶƵŵďŝŶŐŝŶƚŽdžŝĐĂƟŽŶďLJƉŽƌŶŽŐƌĂƉŚLJŝŶĂůůŝƚƐĨŽƌŵƐƚŚƌĞĂƚĞŶƐƚŽ
ĞŶĚƵƐͶŶŽƚďĞĐĂƵƐĞŝƚŝƐŵŽƌĂůůLJǁƌŽŶŐďƵƚũƵƐƚďĞĐĂƵƐĞŝƚĚŝƐƚƌĂĐƚƐƵƐĨƌŽŵƚŚĞƚƌƵƚŚĂŶĚƐĐĂƩĞƌƐŽƵƌƉŽǁĞƌ͘
/ƚ͛ƐŽŶĞďŝŐĂĐŝĚƚƌŝƉĨĂŶƚĂƐLJǁŝƚŚŶŽĐŽŶŶĞĐƟŽŶƚŽŝŵƉƌŽǀŝŶŐŽƵƌůŝǀĞƐ͕ďĞŝŶŐŐŽŽĚĨĂƚŚĞƌƐĂŶĚŚƵƐďĂŶĚƐ͕ĂŶĚ
ĂĚǀĂŶĐŝŶŐŽƵƌĐĂƌĞĞƌƐ͘

dŚĞŵŽĚĞůƐ/ŚĂǀĞŵĞƚŝŶƚŚĞŇĞƐŚŚĂǀĞĂůůƚƵƌŶĞĚŽƵƚƚŽďĞƋƵŝƚĞƵŶĂƩƌĂĐƟǀĞ͘tŚĞŶĂƐƵƉƉŽƐĞĚůLJďĞĂƵƟĨƵů
ǁŽŵĂŶŽƉĞŶƐŚĞƌŵŽƵƚŚĂŶĚƐŽƵůůĞƐƐ͕ĞŵƉƚLJŶŽŶƐĞŶƐĞƚƵŵďůĞƐŽƵƚ͕ƚŚĞƉĞƌĨĞĐƚϭϬďĞĐŽŵĞƐĂƚǁŽŝŶĂďŝŐ
ŚƵƌƌLJ͘EŽĂŵŽƵŶƚŽĨĐůĞĂǀĂŐĞĐĂŶŵĂŬĞƵƉĨŽƌƚŚĞůĂĐŬŽĨƐŽƵů͘

DLJǁŝĨĞŝƐĂůĂǁLJĞƌƚƵƌŶĞĚĚĞĐŽƌĂƚŽƌƚƵƌŶĞĚĐŚŝůĚĂĚǀŽĐĂƚĞ͘zĞƐ͕ƐŚĞŝƐŚŽƚͶďƵƚƐŚĞŝƐĂůƐŽƐŵĂƌƚĞƌƚŚĂŶ/Ăŵ͕
ĨĂƌŵŽƌĞŐƌĂĐĞĨƵůŝŶĂĐƌŽǁĚ͕ĂŶĚĐĂŶĐŽŶǀŝŶĐĞũƵƐƚĂďŽƵƚĂŶLJŽŶĞƚŽĚŽũƵƐƚĂďŽƵƚĂŶLJƚŚŝŶŐǁŚĞŶŝƚĐŽŵĞƐƚŽ
ŚĞůƉŝŶŐĂƚͲƌŝƐŬĐŚŝůĚƌĞŶ͘^ŚĞŝƐŚŽƚŶŽƚũƵƐƚďĞĐĂƵƐĞƐŚĞŝƐďĞĂƵƟĨƵů͕ďƵƚďĞĐĂƵƐĞƐŚĞŝƐĂůůƚŚŽƐĞŽƚŚĞƌƚŚŝŶŐƐ͕
ƚŽŽ͘

^ŽǁŝƚŚŶŽĨƵƌƚŚĞƌĂĚŽ͕ŚĞƌĞŝƐDzůŝƐƚŽĨƚŚĞǁŽŵĞŶŵĞŶůŽǀĞ͕ŝĨǁĞĂĐƚƵĂůůLJƐƚŽƉƉĞĚƚŽƚŚŝŶŬĂďŽƵƚŝƚ͘dŚĞƐĞ
ĂƌĞǁŽŵĞŶǁŚŽĂƌĞĨĂƐĐŝŶĂƟŶŐ͕ĐŽŽů͕ĂŶĚůŽǀĂďůĞ͘dŚĞLJŚĂǀĞŝƚŐŽŝŶŐŽŶͶĂŶĚŶŽƚďĞĐĂƵƐĞƚŚĞLJŵŝŐŚƚ;Žƌ
ŵŝŐŚƚŶŽƚͿǁĂŶƚƚŽƐƵƐƉĞŶĚĨƌŽŵƚŚĞĐĞŝůŝŶŐŝŶĂƚǁŝƌůŝŶŐďĂŶĂŶĂ͘

ŚĞůƐĞĂ,ĂŶĚůĞƌ
DĞůŝŶĚĂ'ĂƚĞƐ
:ŚƵŵƉĂ>ĂŚŝƌŝ
<ĂƚĞDŝĚĚůĞƚŽŶ
'ǁLJŶĞƚŚWĂůƚƌŽǁ
WĂƫ^ƚĂŶŐĞƌ
^ƚĞĸ'ƌĂĨ
>ĂĚLJ'ĂŐĂ
DŝĐŚĞůůĞKďĂŵĂ
>ĂƵƌĂ,ŝůůĞŶďƌĂŶĚ
WŽƌƟĂĚĞZŽƐƐŝ
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www.GoodMenProject.com
Tom Matlack, together with James Houghton and Larry Bean, published an anthology
of stories about defining moments in men’s lives — The Good Men Project: Real Stories
from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood. It was how the The Good Men Project first
began. Want to buy the book? Click here. Want to learn more? Here you go.

About Tom Matlack


Tom Matlack is just foolish enough to believe he is a decent man. He has a 16-year-
old daughter and 14- and 5-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life.

At  The  Good  Men  Project  Magazine,  


we  write,  discuss,  and  invite  com-­‐
mentary  on  a  whole  slew  of  topics  for  
men  and  about  men  in  today’s  world.  
Real,  honest,  complex,  and  thought-­‐
provoking.  

www.GoodMenProject.com

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