Escolar Documentos
Profissional Documentos
Cultura Documentos
Unflecoming
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THE SECRET 11ff OF
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September 1991 Contents
THE COVER
Information on page 81.
Depieits
GREAT EXPECTATIONS ...................
NAKED CITY
George Bush: one glandular sensation. Paul
and Ringo. Gorillas in OUt midst. Ralph Kramdendimwit, or go-go financ
Plus: North Korea's Roger Ebert ........................................ Q
PARTY PooP .........................
Featiits
THE KINKFIsH: A SPECIAL PREELECTION REPORT ON DAVID DUKE
Louisiana, long renowned for its colorIti! (read: .Icazy) politics,
may very well end up with l)avid Duke as its governor this fall. ANDREA Ri-
DER has prepared a dossier of the American Hitters private life: his dalliance
._,-......;. ,with a stripper, his relations with gay Nazis, his miscegenational-porno
. collection, his involvement in a private Caribbean invasion .......... Q
;_ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MUFFY
ií4 AIMÉE BELL tracked down every one of the people whose weddings
: were announced in the Ti,mc one Sunday 20 years ago; ANN HODGMAN waxes philosophi-
cal on the establishment and bdl-bottomed bridalwar
-
Colifillils
1. '.
2.
C 1989 Joseph E. Seagram & Sons. w York. NY. Bleided Canadian Whky. 40% AVo1. (80 PrOof).
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reaches new depths.
(f)
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SHOCKINGLY, LABOR DAY WAS,
NOT SO LONG AGO. JUST THATA
COMMEMORATION OF LABOR. OF
American working people. This was beíre
the phrase working acquired its modern
people
)nnoration as a self-justifying synonym for
/1/ iiup/easa#it Caucasians (as in "The work i ng
nrnunity won't stand for it!") tu use againSt
ng plans, shameless homosexui!itv or mod-
days, even among the no-longer-all-that-Jib-
f labor-bashing is almost obligatory: we all
' y about do-nothing Teamsters or I 5 0,000-
a-year union videotape editors. And while nobody wants
crummier streets or parks, or employees' lives disrupted, is
laying oW 1 1 500 of New York's 363,000 municipal workers
really so catastrophic These may be the last righteous union-
The Air Mowabb is an excellent shoe for running on trails, riding mountain bikes,
climbing hills, jumping streams or sprinting away from bears
lt also iooks kind of cool, Especiaiiy when you wear it with ACG, All Conditions Gear.
BY NIKE
'
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CollEributoi
B. W. Honeycutt
working for spy.
Jamie Malanowski
one of the Feshbachs, and then an- NATIONAL WI :u*
other would sneak into the room LorraIne Cademartori
MANAGIN(. kDI!O
and say, Hi, Deirdre, I'm sfrying on George Kalogerakis
you,'
" she says. "Then they'd fall on pji
James Collipos Joanne Gruher David Kamp
the floor giggling. Fanning has had SSNX» Di'»
Harriet larovick
more sober reporting experiences for i IIWI (II RILSI ASCII
Bell says, "and one divorcé asked me Walter Monheit Laurie Rosenwald
ifi could fix him up with someone." Deborah Michel (Los Angeles) Andrea Rider (Washington)
Karen Cho Meg Cohen Robinson Everett Linda Sue Farber Susan Homer David Hyatt
ANN HODGMAN, whose Haiti Karisson Timothy Long Jonathan Napack Maureen Shelly Laura Spivak Sam Whitehead
essay accompanies
INtl 55.5.
Patty Nasey
PEUMO:TOS MANADOS
- DAVID HANDELMAN Con
Michael Collins Hilary Van Klseck
fesses that after years Gerry Kreger (Los Angeles, 213.933-7211)
of receiving press re- ADVERTISING SALES SEPSEAFS s . I
Geoffrey Reiss
.
leases by the truck- GFNERAI MANAi,EE
ÌOSPYSF.PTEMBER 1991
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GUCCI
T I M E P I I: C Í s
flSPYSFVTFMHFR ')'
Book Award committee's shortest of
shortlists corne judgment day! Ooof!"
\ .
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steps Honolulu Ron took to guarantee
a receptive audience at spy? In the
June 1989 Letters section. you will
finn Ron incorrectly pointing out a
nice ftick-tip for a magazine that
lists a chief of research on its
masthead," defending Doti Ho. calling
New York a 'dungheap," and then
signing off with something rude in
Hawaiian. Same section, March 1990:
Ron is hack with allegations of
"another nice ftick-up" (mostly wrong
again) and takes the opportunity to
call one of our articles "terminally
pointless'' and our response to his
previous letter a 'dismal riposte."
Then we sign off in Hawaiian. This
brings us to April 1991 and the
' mildly acerbic and guaranteed
inforriiative" unsolicited manUscript
from Ron, sonic 1,800 words on how
to pack for a trip to Hawaii. This, in
turn. is followed in May by another
unsolicited Jacobs manuscript
probably fiction, apparently fact-
based aun utterly inappropriate.
(Although we did like the phrase
"flashed frames of erotic visions.")
Given the things Jacobs has said
aboLit LIS in the past, we could best
exact our revenge by publishing him.
BUt we're above that sort of pettiness.
oenutailou Builfiers
I very much enjoyed your profile of
Philip Johnson ["Master Philip and
the Boys," by John Brodie, May],
particularly your recounting of his
relationship with Peter Eisenman,
the bad boy of twentieth-century ar-
chitecrure. I enjoyed the dubious
privilege ofworking with Eisenman's SWISS QUARTZ TE(HOLO6Y ' STAINLESS STEEL CASE, UNIDIRECTIONAl BEZEL MtNERAI CRYSIM WATER-RESISTANT TO 300 FEET BELOW SEA LEVF
be inierested to know that last spring. a I don't think Hobbs was really as
FUNNY" - NEW YORK
TIMES
number of Eisenman it
employees staged a
wildcat strike. reftusing to work until
interested in writing about what
happened to Meredith Vieira as she
was in knocking (SO Minutes, an at-
they urc paid back sala,y.
tack thinly veiled in a cloak of rigli-
LOVED IT! lts time for these styleiriongers to teous feminism.
I MADONNA make room for my generation of ar- Susan Byron
chitects to come in and clean up the San F,'ancisco, (aiifornia
. pv
ROWDIEST, YET enormous neglect and the intellectu-
b,. SWEETEST al toxic spill they have created. lt's The "new" siv looks like shit.
,.,.. FARCE IN N.Y. time to place social, economic and Dr. P,'eston i'fendenhall
v TODAY. GO!
environmental concerns above style Aspen. Colorado
I NYMAGAZINE
and fashion. IfJohnson wants to dis-
,; cuss reality with me, I simply don't Regarding st'Ys new format:
have anything to wear to The Four [ J Yes
Seasonsso let's make it Katz's Deli [xl Super-Fabulous Xtra Classy
323 West 44th Street
Box Ofl,ce or Cafe Orlin, okay? Charles E. Kiblinger
-.
(21 ZL62-3333 Stezn R. Van Gorp Burlington, Verìozi
L.11 I (212) 307-4100
Washington. D.C.
Maybe Liz Smith, at the recent PEN
.
Mont Blanc Literary Gala [The tJsual
- Schill tir SculeIs Suspects, Junel, knew they knew she
PreparetoDie Thanks for the high school yearbook didn't belong there, and maybe she
Laughing!'
.
.
LIZSMITH ["SPY High," May). It's a panic. figured that as a gag, they'd fixed her
'4:i A nita Per, place setting with the single Mont
Gleefully Washington. D.C. Blanc pen that didn't write properly,
Ç,f? Acting surreptitiously on that fear,
You're right. Life really is like high she sidled over to Brad Leithauser's
Bruihance'
, school. And you know what? Man- place with the idea of securing a
agernent consultants are definitely spare. In any case, my fervent hope is
dx- hd I monitors. that spy has no plans to abandon its
PhilipJ. Franken/eid releniless observation of lier,
Chicago. illinois Robin Sutherland
"HILARIOUS!"
- THE NEW YORK TIMES
San Francisco. Calijo'nia
ALL- NEW EDITION! ifiher YoIco Orner tellers ie#;rsfro,n it.c ,'eaders. Ad-
SPY UY1/CO?th!S
All NEW not halt-new) From 1981 to 1984, 1 sat right out- dress correspondence to SPY. The SP 'i'
THEATRE side Don I-Iewitts office as a produc- Building. 5 Union Square West, New
EAST tion secretary and broadcast associate Y,rk. N. Y 10003. Tpeu'ritten letters are
21 1 East 60th Street
- _______
BOX OFFICE at (50 Minutes. In all the time I worked preferred. Please include your daytitne tele-
212) 838-9090 (212)307-4100
there, I never witnessed sexist and un- phone nunibe,: Letters may be edited for
relent ing fi irtatious treatment toward length or clarity. J
CORRECTIO NS
In August's "Town and Country," we
omitted full credit for a photograph;
David Graham's Shrinerat Veterans
Day Parade appears in his new book,
Only in America: Some Unexpected
Scenery, published by Knopf. And in 22 EAST STREET
May's "Master Philip and the Boys," ÑY NY 10003
we understated the cost of Peter
Eisenman's Wexner Center for the 2 1 2366 414
i
DuffeieId
Eijhfyiixe?
The plagiarism scandal that forced a Boston ship with Times managing editor
University dean to resign his title has touched offa remark- and heir apparent Joseph Lelyveld,
the plagiarism flub is strike three.
able ripple effect throughout newspaper journalism's North- Strike one was his incorrect report
east Corridor, leaving imperiled careers and scraps of shattered in the summer of 1987 that a re-
credibility in its wake. tired CIA oficial was going to link
You'll recall that H. Joachim Maitre, the dean of BU's College Major General Richard Secord to an
of Communication, was nailed this summer for borrowing signicant imprisoned arms smuggler in his
portions of his spring commencement addresswithout giving any testimony during the Iran-contra
creditfrom a scholarly paper by, of all people. Michael Medved, investigation, a mistake that re-
PBS's scrawny nudnik oía film cnt- quired the Times to publish one of
ic. The Boston Globe was first in re- appeared, however, the Post became the few front-page, above-the-fold
porting the controversy, publishing entangled in its own plagiarism corrections in its history. Needless
an account of Maitre's faux pas on mess, after it was revealed that its to say, the paper of record doesn't
J uly 2. l'be ri#es picked up the Miami-bureau chief, Laura Parker, like to have to do that sort of thing.
story a day later, cursorily crediting had relied too heavily on a series of Strike two was his inflammatory ar-
the (lobe's piece and printing side- Miami Herald articles in her own re- tick last spring in which he named
by-side excerpts from Maitre's port on Florida's infestation by mos- Willie Smith's alleged rape victim
speech and Medved's treatise. Linde qiiîoes and grasshoppers. and smeared her by reporting that
more than a week later, in what may The Timc, but vindictive, she had "a wild streak."
have been the most embarrassing was only too happy to While Butterfield dangles in
Editors' Note in ages, the Times squeeze an unbylined ac- limbothe Times suspend-
confessed that its piece on the pla- count of Parker's dis- ed him for a week shortly
giarism scandal, by Boston corre- missal into its late cdi- after his plagiarism was
spondent l:ox Butterfield, liad in don on July 14, two d iscovered - R oger
fact been, well,/ilagiarized. days after the publica- Cohen, who brought in-
"Besides the quotations from Mr. tion of Kurtz's story. telligence and savvy to
Maitre's speech, the Ti,nei article in- Meanwhile, for Fox the Times's book-industry
cluded a passage of five paragraphs Buttenfexcuse me, I coverage, is about to move
that closely resembled live para- just noticed that four on. Last spring he ac-
graphs in the (,Iobe article," the Edi- - cepted, with Italian
paragraphs ago, where de- i
tors' Note said. "The passage in- tail the contents of the Times's journalist Claudio Gatti,
volved comparisons of the same sets Editors' Note, I am improper- a reported $ 50,000
of quotations from the disputed ly dependent on I?ogrr
offer from Farrar,
texts. While the Tiznes piece re- Kurtz's piece; in Straus & Giroux
flected "independent investigation" fact, I have ap- to write a quick-
""Z h, R. ,rr,,4I-1 rh
LLI &L %1 ie biography
&#y For Butterfield, a longtime friend
note said, it was improperly depen- his paragraphs of Norman
dent on theG/obeaccount." verbatim. Not of managing editor Lelyveld's, the Schwartkopi.
1'he Washington Post, recognizing only that, but plagiarism flub is strike three liad
a golden opportunity to twit its tnis sanie )OKC rioped trie i ¡,,ie
competitor to the north, followed was used in Neuc- would give him
the i',nies self-immolating clari- week and 'ihe Neu Republic not loi a month off to write the book bekrc
fication with its own report on tiic ago. I admit my mistakes, apol- lie headed off' to Jerusalem to assume
controversy by Howard Kurrz, the ogize profusely and hope that Joel Brinkley's old title as that city's
Poils media reporter. Kurtz's piece spy's ombudsmen remember my bureau chief. But in typically ac-
disclosed that the Times's hand was years of dutiful service and other- corn rnodat i ng Times style, Lelyveld,
forced when two readers sent in let- wise pristine record. with executive editor Max Frankel's
ters pointing out the similarities be- Meanwhile, for Fox Butterficld, support, told Cohen to choose one or
tween the Globe and Th,ie.ç articles. who lias bug been protected from the other, the book project or the
The very day that Kurtz's story staff criticism by his close friend- J erusalern assign ment . Cohen chose
I8SPYSEPTFMBIiR 1991
the book, and will instead become
the Times's Paris-based economics
correspondent.
Cohen played a crucial role in
the extraordinary brouhaha pro-
yoked by the publication of Jacob
Weisberg's tough, entertaining cri-
tique of the book industry in The
Neu' Re/mb/ic. As Weisberg has him-
self noted, details of the scores of
outraged letters sent to TN!? by au-
thors and agents arrived at the
Times's offices before the letters H.iippv oi:ut AFTER i I P.M.
themselves arrived at TNR's oflices.
Armed with these epistolary testa- *.
Kl iefer and Julia are kaputthat's oid newsbut things. Davis became sensitized to
have you heard about Mike and Sparky? A year ago it such fine shadings ofcharacter after
reading, in a Fortune article by Dan
seemed they'd be 2-gether 4-ever, but Disney chairman-for-
. . . . . ,, Seligman, about a recent survey that
life Michael Eisner and studio president Jeffrey Sparky Katzen-
'4
the head orr who- room, saying it was garbage character in Dead
R icardo "El Groovo" Mestres, a man ever was respon- Poets Society, was
with legitimate worries about job sible for green-lighting it. Oddly sacked this summer. That makes .
security, has instructed his associates enough, the bottom-line-obsessed him the second real person por-
to watch and wait: Warshawski, he Davis wasn't as upset about the mov- trayed on film by Williams-Au'ak-
says, will vindicate me. ie's meager returns as he was about enings doctor Oliver Sacks was the
While Mestres (like Eisner and the fact that Harrison Ford's early first-to lose his job.
Katzenberg, a child of Manhattan's self in the filman arrogant, blood- Adrian Cronauer: as soon as you
Upper East Side) prays for redemp- less, moneyed Upper East Siderwas finish Xeroxing your résumé, join
tion, his likable archrival, Touch- depicted in such a way as to make me Monday night at Mortons.
stone president David Hoberman, is audiences believe those were negative Celia Brady
2OSPYSEPTEMBER 1991
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The Webs East
Cronkife...Halher... 11411?
s oDliga-
try to hire Dan .'' l)St sum-
I fiS
was a new foreign-news senior pro- tory playmate mer, for exam-
ducer, Al Berman. Berman is now fell to the executive producer, yet pie, two of the Evening News's bet-
known around the newsroom as "the Sorenson seems little interested in ter female on-air talents, one a vet-
senior producer who needs a map to that aspect of the job. When asked eran war correspondent and the
find Washington." He did not by an associate his reasons for hir- other a star Washington political
his best foot forward when he ing his new quick-casting senior reporter, were pushed off the
learned of Martha Graham's death producer, he quipped, Why do you broadcast because they did not
last spring. Having obviously con- think i hired him? So i don't have to meet the new standard of foxiness
fused the choreographer with former gojishing with Dan. for hard-news reporters.
Polident spokesmodel Martha Raye, And speaking of going fishing, - Laureen Hobbs
22 SPYSEPTEMBER i'»)I
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Dine at the Fox commissary and get more than something that, as one producer put
just a typical cheap studio mealhave your calories counted it, "can't be compared to an episode
of The i\'fary Tyler Moore Show. ' "Its
for you too! Arranged according to caloric content (salads on
weird," says a writer on one of Fox's
the left, Twinkies on the right), the menu is yet another manifes- smarter comedies, "I get the feeling
tation of Fox chairman Barry Diller's totalitarian management they're embarrassed by their hit
style. The calorie concept was his brainchild; the company joke is showsMarried With Children, In
that "Barry's even managed to ruin lunch." Living Color. " When the networks
A generous reading of recent events at the spunky Fox Broadcasting goofily parodic Chris Elliott vehicle
Companydwindling ratings and advertising for erstwhile top-ten Get a Life wanted to do a bit with
Elliott's character "keyed" into a
ised national newscastwould be Color's violent Homey the Clown.) black-and-white I 940s urban back-
that the house that Murdoch built is Fox's fall lineupfiltered through a drop, Fox executives were con-
still recovering from the disman- barrage of focus-group and other cerned that viewers wouldn't remem-
ding of its once-formidable Sunday market tests by an ever-more-pow- ber the 1940s. And Get a Life has
night. Producer Jim Brooks still erful audience-research depart- now been "slightly revised": instead
hasn't forgiven Diller for moving mentlooks no more or less inane of being a quasi-psychotic 30-year-
The Simpsons to Thursdays opposite than anyone else's. See the cast of old paperboy who still lives at
Cosby, a slot in which it never at- Broadway's The Piano Lesson in Roc, a home, Chris will get a real job, his
tracted the audience Fox had pre- sitcom about a happy-go-lucky gar- own apartment and a girlfriend.
dicted. Fox thereby managed to lose bageman! Feel the Bungee- Doesn't this utterly compromise
both a very bankable TV producer jumping excitement of the the show's subversive, anti-
and a very bankable movie director: adventure-reality show sitcom premise? No,
Brooks now has a hefty package The Ultimate Challenge! Chemin venturesit's
deal with Columbia for movies and And watch in amaze- - -. really just a comedy
television, and his Grownups debuts ment as Dabney Cole- about a Iella with a
' '
on ABC next month. And when man's talents are
Simpsons executive producer Sam Si-
monwho to the bitter end fought
futilely and publicly to persuade
squandered Shut Up,
Kids, a well-conceived but
abysmally executed sitcom '
%. i ;fr.
:
Ï just as good at 'We
Diller ro move the show back to about a white-collar crimi- _/ / :' \ want to do something
Sundays this fallstepped back nal doing community-ser- - j
different, but we want
from the show to become an execu- vice time in a grade school. .- to do it in the same old
tive producer at Brooks's Gracie Somebody 'ç,_., an.)
way' as every-
Films, it clinched the end ola year- the likable enter- body else," says
long power struggle between Simon tainment presi- another writer.
and the cartoons creator, Matt dent Peter Cher-
People are afraid to work
How is Fox
Groening. nm, say, or his responding to
Despite commendable break- largely irrelevant for Diller , who may be deep advertiser
throughs (The Sirnpsons, Trace)' Uil- underling, devel- the mod el for Homer skepticism and
?nan, In Living Color) and a $50 mil- opment vice ho n e y m oo n - i s -
lion profit that will surely embarrass dent Paul "Stu- Simpson's Iboss, Mr. Burns over antipathy
the red-ink-plagued CBS and likely pid" Stupinmay from the press? .g
NBC as well, Fox is still routinely have to go down for these and other By handing out plum programming
dismissed as the "fledgling fourth questionable decisions (remember jobs to publicists. The former head
network" and blamed for the de- Babes?). Edge has long been Fox's of Fox's notoriously erratic PR de-
dine of Western civilization. (A buzzword, but many of the meddle- partment, Brad Turell, has been
ten-year-old arrested for hitting an some suits who program the net- placed in charge of network spe-
old lady over the head with a sand- work tend to get anxious when ac- cials, an extraordinary responsibili-
filled sock in Central Park told po- tually confronted with it; they're ty for a career flack whose most ob-
lice he was just copying In Living confused by any show trying to do vious skills are driving expensive
24 SPYSEPTEMBF.R 1991
German cars and daring spectacu-
larly blond women.
Equally perplexing is the rehir-
¡ng of Garth Ancier, in a nebulous
"entrepreneurial business relation-
ship" that comes with no title and
a vague development/production
mandate. Fox's first head pro-
grammer back in 1986, Diller's
disarming prodigal son lias proved
a master at distancing himself
from his failures. Behind his per-
petually closed door at NBC's
short-lived debacle Sìvnday Best
earlier this year, Ancier was al-
ready working the Fox deal and
boasting that he'd be jumping net-
works "any day now."
After two staff purges and con-
cept overhauls, the executive-pro-
ducership of Fox's Personalities be-
came the most otkrcd and least de- 496 Ninth Ave 37/38th 967-7850
sirable in town, since Diller would
be micromanaging the show no
matter who was allegedly in charge. RESTAURANT
Former Los Angeles Times reporter
Bill Knoedelseder is the latest to
place himself under Barry's thumb,
and the show has been renamed
ED], a contrived acronym for Enter-
tainment Daily Joi.'rnal to be pro-
ettevue
nounceduh-oh"edge. " (Personal-
itiesIEDJ, syndicated by Fox's
Special dining rooms for parties of I 2 to 65 persons.
Twentieth Television division, has Kitchen and staff to cater affairs in your home or office.
been encouraged to cover shows on
the sister networkduring the
three-month tenure of Knoedel-
seder's predecessor, Mark Toney, at
least three puff pieces ran about In
Living Color and its increasingly ar-
Talllmaily Hail
D uring this time of economic difficulty, many had a reputation for womanizing,
New Yorkers are suffering, including Mayor David Dinkins, one that has been discussed private-
l l by City Hall insiders but never
who is overwhelmed D iiscal proDlems, ana Peter KaliKow,
I
. I I
I
. . documented.
the real estate developer and owner of the Post, whose empire is People from the campaign say
foundering on a billion dollars of debt. It's too bad these two that once Dinkins heard that the
civic leaders can't give each other a hand. After all, SPY has learned, letters were in che Post's hands, he
they managed to secretly help each other once before. asked Harold Ickes, a labor lawyer
In September 1989, after beating Ed Koch in the Democratic prima- and longtime Kennedy operative
ry, Dinkins had as much as a 34 percent lead over Rudolph Giuliani who was then counsel to the Dinkins
in the polls, and it was widely as- campaign, to contact Peter Kai-
sumed that he would win the keys tive, Giuliani's operatives were ikow's public-relations point man,
to Gracie Mansion by about a 10- confident they had the right man Marty McLaughlin. The two han-
point margin. But as Election Day to expose Dinkins's supposed indis- died the delicate negotiations be-
approached, Dinkins's lead shrank, cretions. tween the camps. What was agreed
dwindling to single digits during After receiving the letters, Dick- to may never be known, but the let-
the final days of the campaign. In er took them to Bill Lynch, Din- ters never appeared in the Post.
the end, he won by just 2 percent. kins's campaign manager, for corn- Ofcourse, there are other reasons
He was lucky to win at ail. As ment. Lynch, having never seen the why the Post may have passed on
the campaign reached its climax, letters and not wishing to have ex- the story. The letters' relevance to
Dinkins was in danger of becoming pressions of amazement attributed Dinkins's suitability to govern is
embroiled in a nasty scandal involv- to him in the Post, offered no com- arguable. Jerry Nachman, the cdi-
ing alleged marital infidelities, ment. Instead, he promptly tracked tor of the Post, today maintains that
which could easily have cost him down Andrew Cuomo, the gover- it was impossible to verify the let-
the election. Herein lies the tale of nor's son and a Dinkins adviser, and ters' authenticity and says the paper
how that scandal was averted. the two of them headed for the was never close to printing them.
According to Dinkins-campaign presidential suite of the Sheraton Finally, the paper had to have been
advisers and reporters who covered Centre, where Dinkins was living, worried about appearing racist by
the election, a set of purloined love apart from his wife of 39 years, dur- raising this issue. "We told them
letters written to Dinkins by sever- ing the final weeks of the cam- they'd have a race riot on their hands
al women while he was Manhattan paign. lt was late at night, and ifthey printed the letters," a Dinkins
borough president fell into the Dinkins, having just showered, met adviser told sPY. But even if KaI-
hands of the Giuiiani campaign. his advisers in his bathrobe. At the ikow wasn't eager to print them, he
The source was thought to have last moment Lynch, embarrassed to must have seen that the Dinkins
been a disgruntled secretary in talk about such a personal matter camp thought he might, and that
Dinkins's office who'd been denied with his boss, foisted the job on he could benefit by agreeing not to.
a raise and reportedly had a sister Cuomo, who had met Dinkins only So: was there a deal? Suspicious
on Giuliani's staff. Why Dinkins a few times before. minds point to Dinkins's coopera-
kept such personal correspondence According to a number of those don in Kalikow's efforts to build a
on file in his office is curious, but who have heard Cuomo describe the luxury high rise on the Upper East
people who saw the letters say each encounter, Dinkins emphatically de- Side as evidence that some kind of
bore the stamp of the borough nied knowing anything about the accommodation was reached.
president and the time and date it letters. But then Cuomo handed At the time of the election, the
was received. him copies. The mayor-to-be report- tenants of the City and Suburban
Someone in the Giuliani camp edly stiffened, tightened the bath- Homes, a 14-building residential
insiders believe it was consultant robe about his throat and said, complex on East 79th Street, were
Roger Ailespassed the letters to "Okay, what can we do?" Other peo- seeking landmark status for the
Fred Dicker, a reporter at the Post, ple who know Dinkins say he has structures to prevent Kalikow from
about ten days before the election. never explicitly confirmed that these demolishing them. Kalikow had
In Dicker, the paper's Albany-bu- letters came from women who had bought the buildings in 1985 for
reau chief and a political conserva- been lovers his. But Dinkins has $43 million with the intention of
26SPYSEPTEMBER 1991
razing them and then putting up borough president doesn 'r really punctilious mayor called Kalikow
four expensive high rises on the care what happens in another bor- and assured the developer he'd sup-
site. In the face of considerable op- ough and is happy to side with the port his compromise if Kalikow
position, Kalikow amended his mayor in exchange for future con- needed his votes. On Monday he
plans and proposed demolishing siderat ions. called again. He assured Kalikow
only the four buildings nearest the In the case of Kalikow's City and that the four outer-borough presi-
East River; Ofl that land he would Suburban homes, Mayor Dinkins dents had committed their support
erect a luxury tower perhaps 80 sto- looked to be the crucial player. KaI- for the compromise, and said that
ries h igh . Preservation ists opposed ikow was confident of the two votes since the developer now liad a
this compromise and pursued the of his good friend Stein. Holtz- majoritythose four votes plus
landmark designation, which if ob- man's position was unknown, but it Stein's twoDinkins planned to
tamed would effectively kill KaI- was thought she'd follow the vote against the compromise, thus
ikow's scheme. mayor's lead. Of the borough presi- maintaining his credentials with
Hundreds of millions of dollars dents, only Manhattan's Ruth Mes- liberals and preservationists. And
were at stake, and through most of singer was definitely against KaI- that's what happened: the compro-
1989, Kalikow spcnt lavishly to ikow and in favor ofgranting com- mise passed, 6-5. Longtime ob-
hire lawyers and PR consultants plete landmark status. The other servers of city government can
and historians to prepare the argu- four had indicated they'd consider hardly remember another case in
ments that would be made before the one-high-rise compromise that which the Board went against the
the Landmarks Preservation Corn- Kalikow liad pushed. wishes of both the mayor and the
mission that the tenements didnt Dinkins, while borough presi- president of the affected borough.
deserve special protection. But ac- dent, liad supported landniarking The mayor's waiting game did not
cording to a source close to the KaI- the site. But after he becarn niayor, go unnoticed. "1 thought lie was
ikow team, that formal effort and after Kalikow's paper had de- late and cautious in how he threw
seemed less urgent after the dcc- cided not to publish the story on his weight in on the issue," said
tion. Five months later, in April, his love letters, lie Borough President
the Landmarks commission ruled became less forth- Messi nger.
against Kalikow and gave the entire right, and refused "That's what
City and Suburban complex land- to say how he'd makes it so per-
mark status. However, the commis- cast his two votes. fect," said one po-
sion's ruling still had to be ap- A month before litical insider. "In
proved by the Board of Estimate, the Board's vote, the end the mayor
which, until the Charter revision, the Times reported didn't have to vote
was the citys ultimate authority. that aides to Din- with Kalikow."
Strangely enough, Kalikow's man kins "noted that (Kalikow, by thc
Marty McLaughlin appeared cheer- he has said he fa- way, commentinz
ful after the defeat. " Don't worry," vors designating through a spokes-
he confided to colleagues, "we'll fix at least part of the man, said lie
it at the Board of Estimate." complex as a hadn't "partici-
While reversals of the Land- landmark yet Prier. i%,,/;. IT),zid pated in the cdi-
_________
marks commission's decisions were has not ruled - tonal process."
not unheard of, they were rare. out building on Ickes said he'd
Winning at the Board was a matter part of it." A nasty scandal involving never heard of
of building coalitions and being Before the alleged marital infidelities the letters. Dick-
able to count. To pass something, vote, Kalikow er said he
you needed six votes. Three mcm- recruited a new might have cost wouldn't corn-
bers of the Boardthe mayor, the lobbyist: Din- Dinkins the election ment. Dinkins
City Council president (who was kins's counsel, did not respond
Andrew Stein) and the city comp- Harold Ickes, the labor lawyer with to a request for an interview.
troller (who was Elizabeth Holtz- limited real estate experience who Cuomo and Lynch did not return
man)had two votes apiece. The was the mayor's go-between with calls.) In the end, both Dinkins and
: other members, the five borough the Kalikow camp on the matter of Kalikow got what they wanted.
presidents, had one vote each. In the letters, According to public However, with the city in crisis and
! practice, mayors had been able to records, Ickes would earn $35,000 with Kalikow facing bankruptcy,
govern because they had enormous for lobbying on Kalikow's behalf. neither l'rize is worth what it ap-
power to trade for the votes of the spy has learned that on August peared to be in the final days of the
E borough presidents. Generally, one 17. the Friday before the vote, the i 980s. Gut Hamilton
SEPTEMBER 1991 SPY 27
i \ i/ k E? o' !
Th Usii
Suspects
!8SPYSEPTEMBER 1991
The F'Ìllf Pi'iiit
II te rresideot's OIaDs
vide it up?". . . A year Monheit'TM, the Movie Center is the site o! the
ago we sat down in Lon-
don, and I said, "Here
L Publicist's Friend Finishing '91 (;oiference
.irid Exposition. "Rapidly
we are, directors of STEPKIOs, starring Griffin l)unne, Margaret Whitton changing technology in
[Apple], going forward (New Line) industrial coatings is
with a case that costs us "May divorce be with you! Here's a
%11a/kr i%lonhe,t posing both opportuni-
as much in Ilegal] fees a
nuclear-family meltdown that'Il leave you glowing! The ties and challenges for
year as that income is."
custody battle for Oscar is a Dunne deal!" the finishing industry,"
Lee: Yeah, what is it
says the press release.
costing you a year? DOGFIGHT, starring River Phociìix, Lili ... aylor (Warner
We challenge the finish-
John: It was running Bros.) PP
somewhere between Wa/icr "I'd sit up and beg to learn some new
iilonheit ia
ing industry ro develop
60,000 and 75,000 tricks from the Taylorthat wags this Dog! W000f, w000f! a leather-waterproofing
[dollarsj a month. fixative that doestit
Whoa, Oscarheel, boy, heel!"
Paul: But basically you make dogs want to eat
tell them the earnings THE PRINCE OF TIDES, starrint \ 1< \Itv our shoes.
equal the [expensel. ... (Lolumbia) 29 Last day offiscal 91.
John: (But] they have %';uIu, 1foizheit %a).. "Surf's up, friends! But better hurry, Alas, at press time, the
this idea. . that you were for time and Tides wait for no manexcept a little gold- Guy Lombardo orchestra
desperate to settle it for plated feller named Oscar!" had ?loI been booked to
ome nefarious reason.... u, ¿h1 ?101ule. "ir,m; play The Walciorl-Asro-
o I said, "This is not t: p _ ¿PIt/i/NtlIy 1 Ias'lC ria this evening.)
,'.: -i.
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THE FINE PRINT CONTINUED
the case. What we're talking ) 'TIiot s Dehio AD the Dive Chis
about is common sense ......
Lee: You mean Ithey think] LA Special SPV Consumer Product Investigation
Paul is doing this for his
own selfish reasons? "Blue is Uu)st suitable as the color of interior liI. Wlw lier slick light sharp high
Paul: There's never been bright thin quick sour new and cool or low deep sweet thick dark soft slow
any doubt [they thought] I
smooth heavy old and warm: blue moves easily among them ail, and all profound-
that. l've been living with ly qualify our states ofkeling." William Gass, On Being Blue
that. lt's all just me. . . .They
Double Fresh cat litter ,4lark Leui gen- /mroa'uicts, The Dracke# Co. : 'They're dyed
feel that I'm so desperate I
odor. They visually reinforceyou without little blue specks. The buie
she's always looking under know, the sky and the green grass and specks are part of the science and tli
the bed. But Harrison has the green trees: they rend to be fresh, aesthetics that make it click."
this idea that there's some- clean. Probably lithe whole thing were
Cheer ilarie Salz'ae/o. 3pokespe?o?/. /f) /eV
thing lurking in there that bILle or treen, people niight think it's
& Gamble Soap Sector: "The specks really
requires Paul to settle the overk i I I . react negatively.
do not serve a washing purpose. but an
Capitol-Apple case. "
Kleen Kitty cat litter Peler Boue;: market- aesrlictii
Linda: [But] Paul is willing ÇflflJ)Ø5( I
to blow up Apple.
"The b! LIC
ing manager. Superimr B rands: Clorox 2 powdered bleach aui/ì Sum//ivan.
John: And Paul, I'm sure, SPecks are clay painted with a nontoxic
ipoke.penon. 'Ihe Co. : "In this
said that to him. But. . .they vegetable-based dye which connote and
c?untry we prefer whites that are a little
don't believe it.... carry out 'time-release air fresheners.
to the blue side; the blue makes us per-
Paul: This is traditional.... They convey it by sight. The concept is ceive it as white-white. You want just a
When you play Monopoly or there. All we're trying to do is use this
tiny bit in there. lt's there for a specific
chess or whatever, you have painted clay to express this to the coli-
purpose; it's not just there because
to assume that your quote- sumer. They expect something to be
there, and so we give it to them." somebody liked blue speckles.'
unquote enemy might have
something up his sleeve. All and Surf detergents Sheyl S,nith. PR
C erts Torn Furlong. spokesperson . Warner-
Linda: Well, you know... toordumialor anl ipokeperioi, Lever Bro5. : "1
Lanibert: "They're flavor
Yoko has so much up her
beads ....... hey dissolve at a slower rare
haven't a clue what they're made
sleeve, she's bulging.
liiii the rest ofthe mint
ai . .lt's part of the formulation, and
.
1Jed-zire .ciIt's
it1iracIej,irniture/wg
- Recycling for profit
DiI)i Seven, Citrus Miracle,
pocket money. I need it. I'm
your buddy." He and his
l)azzle wife pleaded personally with
me. I said, "Okay, look,
Kra,ìi/ens b,ej ha,zdynan s special. Preservation, do- i t-yourself and
p [just] one more set of pro-
L__ rent to Notions
motion fees." . . . So he said,
LR'Ph manages glass-jauwd boxer
.
Ralph and Edbiiy TV
"'i:;;-
-.nfomerc jais for products such
i
"lt's a deal. If anyone asks
you for more promotion fees
co,,,mercial time to peddle as Supersnacker and The after this, I'll be on your side
Handy Houseu'ife Helpe , Daily(rnixer) with the plunger. We'll both
a kitchen tool with push it together." I said,
attac/)11e?1t5
"Okay, you've got it. You
Ra/pb sells story (j/)is Lyle Alzado in Sports are my friend. I hate to see
bizarre illness to magazine
-, illustrated, Joseph Hei [ers you sort of begging me and
No Laughing Matter stuff. So let's just do it."
Ralph and Ed acquire Trump Taj Mahai) And of course I don't want
(I
(IOO?Iled ,\TezJersey hotel this adversarial position any-
I
_- way.. . .1 had come to that
meeting wanting one
thingI wanted Apple to be
closed down that day. And I
LgrongnOurTe capitulated and said, "Well,
all right then, look, I'll do
"It's beautifully written, witty, riveting, and the best book about achieving your goals you a deal, seeing as you
since Dale Carnegie wrote his masterpiece." are all my friends. Let's all
-Warren Bennis on Flarvey A\ÍacKay's Swim 'X"ith the Sharks
go to Capitol and try to get
"Totally intriguing, thought-stretching insights into the ciockworks of leaders." you equalized [as part of a
MacKay on Bennis's On Becoming a Leader settlement]."
Lee: If I were the lawyer to
'Without question, the niost-needed hook of the 90's. . .. Offers executives arid them, I would be glad to
managers real lifelines to success." settle.
\Varreri Bennis on Rosabeth \Ioss Kantcrs Vhen Giants Learn to Dance Paul [seething]: They're or-
rogant! They have big
'Only Warren Bennis could write a book on leadership that is so inspiring and
heads! And they're dumb!
insightful, captivating and wise, eloquent and revealing." Lee: lt's such a good
Kanter oh Beruiiiss Ou l3LYJmi?iç a Leat/tr settlement for them.
"The most important management thinker of our time." : Paul: They are dumb. They
-Warren Bcnnis on Peter Drirker's The Practice ofManagement really are arrogant. They
really think thatsomeone
"This is Warren Bennis's most important book." like Ringo
-1)ruckLr on Bennis s On Becoming a Lea er Linda: Got that on tape,
HawardKaplan
- -
bloody Arab on earth, but comes [along)." TV." Los Angeles Times
before you do, allow Rep. Thomas A. Daschle (D-S.D.)
September P90: "Bobby Bullpen, where
George and I to match his
J une '85: "Now, with the purchase of are you A i O-ton [20,000-pound) goril-
offer." He said, "Well, you Pan Am's Pacific routes and Hertz, la on the mound . . . "The Sporting News
know I'd do that!" He was
drunk by this time. . . .The
[United is) a 1,500-pound gorilla." March '9 1 : "[The UNLV basketball
Dan iel Bolian , manager of Omega
point I'm making is, Ringo team) is a two-ton [4,000-pound) go-
Travel (i n Trave/ Weekly) rilla. "
did not have. . half o finger Rick Majerus, University
on grasping that issue.... April 86: "Like the pro'erbial 2,000- ofUtah coach
Lee: If they win [legally], pound gorilla, IBM can sit anywhere it
they lose [financially]. wants to in the computer industry." April 91 : " 'I'm the 400-pound goriIla
Paul: But Lee, you're talking on defense policy, said [House Armed
Modern Office Technology
to a woman [Yoko] who Services Committee chair Les) Aspin."
thinks she can get [Len-
31 SPYSEPTEMF3FR 1991
L- _ _ _
December '87: 'One reluctant program J_j)s A ngeles Times )
iII It
Forget OOFID: Iay ¡o
-
TENETS coarseness and cru- smile or cry on re- be settled in accor- cally photogenic
.
.
N dity in facial make- quest he is merely dance with the law face is a typical
up, as well as exces- capricious" of class struggle" Korean face" KIM
FILM sive exaggeration" . _ _. -- - OMETER
Teenage Mutant Here, alas, the Bitchin', dude! Totally rad! The No problem! Comrade Oscar
Ninja Turtles li: eponymous Tur- Not a caprice in mutants are noth- Where do you should have his
The Secret oJ the ties are notorious sight. ing if not revolu- think finjas come hands full with
Ooze offenders. tionary. _J troflì? these guys!
4othing seems Disgustingly, Every struggle Sadly, and mex- No way, José
excessive in this Culkin seems to classy here! A plicably, Culkin though the direc-
exquisitely con- cry and smile on : metahor for how has nothing Kore- tor could yet prove
.--- tro!!ed master- request. one country can an about him. j himself to be Ko-
-- . .-'- defeattheworld. jrean.
NewJack Cit Word! These guys Def The so-called Fresh! The status Sure thing! This Fair enough, but
I dress down in- Method is sheer quo gets its ass is what they mean The Fate of a Self-
stead of up. madness. kicked. by Seoul Man. defence Corps Man
it isn't.
r,ahorLe hough sif- Video venté all The first law of Pfb:ly th .. ¿or thumbs up!
ter scene involves the way: Madon- class struggle: film's only weak- But Madonna?
makeup, the Ma- na (almost) never Madonna always nessthough She's no Ggot
terial Girl guards cries, and certain- wins. The Boy nothing a little Bun.
herself heroically ly not on request. Toy is the perpet- plastic surgery
against the coarse uai revolution on COU1(lIlt help.
and crude. two legs!
I
,' - ¿r
\
murderers; of' the .2 1 ,50() lU)ffliÇideS in
tut U.S. jut I 989. izoiw were reportedly
committed using pokers.
)
v_ But this hita contains a crucial f1a'. I f
'
I , a poker is swung I ike a bat. che ircati
.
considers it a "blunt objccr" (along vith
;'' -.
)( J
the hammers, clubs, bricks anti ire irons î
tills Dossier
Detailing Duke's
3
's
f'
.1
ululi
Iii
J
i ¡Ti
T HAS BEEN 16 YEARS SINCE DAvIc DUKE Klan with sex appeal' The statement, instead, is
tchicved national pruin irience through his leader- David Duke's, uttered in 1976, when he was 26, and
ship of the Ku Klux Klan and affiliatioiì with the from him it's not a hit unimaginable. He is, after all, a
Anierican Nazi Party, and nothing about these past child of his gencrationcool, swingy, a man who
aSsociationS has managed to slow his ascent. No doubt blow-dries his hair and cares enough about his looks to
sUEne of this is due to his success ¡n becoming the have had plastic surgery and who has written a smarmy
thoroughl' zodern extremist. Charismatic, surgically sex manual for women [see "Sex and the Single Bigot,
handsome, schooled in saying the unspeakable in cool April). But mostly the phrase seems so believable
1LIld even rones, shrevd enough to at once hobble and because there are so many reports ofDavid Duke's pre-
benefit froin Clarence Thomas with an endorsement, occupation with sex. In spite ofhis automatic endorse-
he is tue Kiansman iii the sharp suit. the reasonable ments of family values, in spite of the warm photo-
racist, the chaos lurking in the box that Bush and graphs of him with his virginal teenage daughters, in
Avater opened Pandorically with \XIillie Horton in spite ofhis claims to adhere to Christian values, sexual
1988. Elected to the J.ouisiana State Legislature in satisfaction seems to be a compulsion for him.
19H9. he ran for the (Inited States Senate last year Let's begin in the late 1970s. Nancy Manning, a 20-
and took 14 l)(tCCflt of the VOtC - a n ala roi i ng, efT1lt r- year-old high school dropout from FLorida, was working
rassing lIgure. Afi now he is running for governor of as a stripper in a suburb of Denver and augmenting
Louisiana in next fl1()flthS election. And he niay win. her income by turning tricks. In the course of things,
But while Davi.l Duke has managed to proht from Manning developed a crush on Fred Wilkins, who was
his past as a liaremonger. there are other stories from active in the Colorado chapter ofthe Klan. One week
his PSt that have received less attention: accounts of a David Duke, who had headed the RENDEZVOUS WITH
voracious sexual Lp)Ctite. of selling out his frieils for Louisiana Knights or che Ku Klux DESTINY: Below, Klan
- . .
1'
groupie Nancy
IflOflCy, of greed, o f consorti ng '..vi th voii id-be d rug Klan since 1975, came west to help Manning at her
dealers. Now, these acts may not matter 1110cl) tO thOse
.
current place of
i
W1IKIOS recruit new memners, ann
I I
business in Arizona.
who arc apl)alled by I)uke's racism. But fr those vho Manning signed up. "I was never a Opposite: left, Duke
1)CliCVC that the nore exrrcm( a right-winger orneoné nLCLSt, she explainea to sifl' earlier the Klansman, 1978;
. .
I
I n
'.
during the 1960s, one cannot im- "Around midnight, Fred .
.
L..
I recognized from pictures. I knew that it was David Duke. tian values, but this was 12 years ago, and boys, after all, will
I was up there buck naked, dancing. They were grinning be boys.
at me and drinking, and I thought, This is hypocritical, And compulsives, after all, will be compulsive. Accord-
because theyre supposed to be Christians. [After the show) I ing to Karl Hand, who was one ofDuke's chief lieutenants
went and sat with them. David paid for all the drinks. in the Louisiana Klan, Duke was constantly on the prowl.
As the evening progressed' she continues, "it became From a pay phone at the Hunt Correctional Institute in
clear to me that Fred wanted me to go with David' When Louisiana, where he is serving time for attempted mur-
her shift ended, they headed for Fred's house. "David was der, Hand described Duke's behavior. I know that it's
all over me in the backseat. Fred was looking at us in the politically advantageous for him to proclaim that he's a
rearview mirror. I thought that was kind of creepy' devout Christian' Hand told sp', "but he's far removed
Once they arrived, Duke 'got undressed and lay down from that. He liad no qualms about putting the make on
on the bed' says Manning in a chirpy voice. "He put his anyone's wife or girlfriend, and the flak always came back
arms above his head and said, Do what you will, i only to me, because I was his national organizer. He was por.
want to please you. You know, like he was the submissive. I traying himself as a family man, with his wife and two
thought, Oh, my God, one ofthose. He said, 'Pretend that kids, but at the same time, he was involved in these sex-
it's a vanilla-ice-cream cone, honey I couldn't resist say- ual escapades:' Hand's recollections echo sentiments ex-
¡ng, 'Not chocolate, right?' So then we screwed and went pressed in an article on Duke that appeared in Southern
to bed. It wasn't a real fun experience. He's built really magazine in 1987. " We had toget David out' one Klans-
small, and he has a small penis:' man said. "He was seducing all the wives."
Manning claims she saw Duke once more, on a flight; "He's got a problem,' says Hand. "It's not just a sexual
he talked to her on the plane but ignored her the thing. He has to go ahead and prove himself and display
airport. He continues to send her Christmas cards en- chis type of behavior openly to prove his masculinicy.
graved with little poems ("Honor the man who is willing Certainly this trait has impressed itselfupon several jour-
to sink/Half his repute for his freedom to think") and nalists in recent years. Southerns Pat Jordan reported
fundraising letters. It is less likely that she receives these Duke's remarking on a young woman's chest. "Doesn't
communiqués because he fondly remembers their tryst she have great breasts?," Duke exclaimed. "They're not
than because her name is on some mailing list. big, but they're perfect. Perfect breasts, they always make
After her evening with Duke, Manning continued to me horny." Ludan Truscott, who profiled Duke for
stay in contact with Fred Wilkins, but they are now es- Esquire in 1989, described Duke's "arm-punching macho
tranged. Wilkins admitted to SPY that he knew Manning bullshit, always saying, Hey, get a loadofihosegreat legs!" A
but insists that their relationship was platonic, and that journalist for a Louisiana newspaper who has covered
Manning is a nut. He wrote Manning a letter in January Duke regularly but requested anonymity ("You know, I
1991 that read, "David called me New Year's Day to wish have to live down here") says such behavior is typical.
me good luck. We had a nice long talk. We also talked In our interview, Karl Hand was also able to confirm
about you. Nancy, you are a joke! Seek help and get your the existence of Duke's pornography collection. "1 inves
act together and grow up!" She now lives in Phoenix, tigared that one personally and found pornography right
where she works as a prostitute under the name Amber,
advertising herself in The Bachelor's Beat, a sort of shop-
"011KO hUis on bolDO a lathes' aii,"
per's circular for johns. After she spoke to spy, Manning
says, she called an attorney who represents right-wing ex-
tremists and told him what she had told us. "We're not says a lorifier supooer,
real happy you did that' the lawyer reportedly told her. '11111 I IblUk he iosi h1es woeo"
So what?, you say. Sure, he was married, andsure, at 29, he
wasn't exactly a kid, and sure, he pre. - in his own nightstand, in the
sentedhimselfas an exemplar ofchris- top drawer" said Hand. "He had
1 A'
-
_; '.' -- ìI
photos of black men with white women, all posi-
tions actually. The one that I saw myselfhad OflC whit e
guy, one black guy and a white girl. She was
,..
-- ,
wrote and published African Atto, a 70-
t
page street-fighting manual for blacks.
An ad for the book that appeared
performing various acts on both ofthem at in several black newspapers was
the same time. His wife, Chloe, tipped mc headlined WHEN WAS THE LAST
offto this' The whole thing led Hand, in TIME WHITEY
all seriousness, to judge Duke guilty of
"conduct unbecoming a racist'
Or conduct unbecoming anybody. Linda
Melton is a businesswoman from Monroe.
Louisiana, who volunteered to work on
b Yac
THE
Duke's U.S. Senate campaign in 1990 b 1' LflJ'r11_
soon became appalled by his behavior a
quit. Melton told SPY that Duke missed a
important fundraising meeting because i
ended up out till three or four dclock in th
morning in a real sleazy, sleazy, I mean we'r
talking redneck sleazy, after-hours club i
west Monroe with some real trashy-lookir
girC During that campaign Duke was oft
introduced at rallies by a bosomy Bourb
Street dancer named Chris Owens, whi
added to his reputation as a swinger. St claimed, "AFRICANATTO will turn your
Linda Melton has doubts about how much Body into BLACK STEEL" with newfound
a Lothario Duke really is. "David Duke puts "power that translates to sex appeal!"
being a ladies' man' she says, "but I thu d "will attract loving, beautiful women' Interest-
that's a big cover. I think he hates women' ; phrasing, given the man's taste in pornography.
)uke has conjured up different explanations
DEAR H.&R. BLOCK: i WAS RECENIL Y OFFERE African Atto, varying with the image he was
OFSIL VER FOR VIOLA 1/NG A SECRECY OATH. IS inni uiyiu- projecting at the time. First he denied authorship. Then
EREO EARNED INCOME? he claimed he had written it as part of a scheme to dis-
Most ofthose who have written about Duke have treated cover the names of"the most radical blacks in the United
at face value his decision in 1980 to leave the Klan and States so that when the time comes, we will know where
form the National Association for the Advancement of they are' During the 1980s, Duke reportedly pointed to
White People. Duke explains the move with one of his the manual as an example ofthe menace that black mili-
swerves into yuppie savviness. 'I had joined the Klan be- tants posed. By the time he ran for senator, he was ad-
cause of those robes:' he once said. "They made good mitting authorship again, defending the handbook as a
copy, you know. Good pictures. But after a while, all those spoofthat exposed "the latent racism ofblacks' as "satire
guys with the green teeth, they got to me.' in the best tradition ofJonathan Swift'
Kiansmen have their own version of events, which is Duke apparently realized that publishing Swiftian
that they had grown disenchanted with their leader. As black-street-fighting handbooks was no way to make big
Karl Hand says, "He became known for what he was, money and tried other schemes, among them selling
which is a very unscrupulous person' The last straw came tapes by mail. Duke became a sort oIKKK-Tel, selling as
in 1980, when, as James Ridgeway reports in his book recently as 1989 - the year he became an elected official -
Bloodin the Face, Duke violated the Klan secrecy oath by cassettes ofsuch songs as "Nigger, Nigger' "Some Niggers
attempting to sell for personal profit the organization's Never Die" and "Nigger Hatin' Me:' which begins with
membership list to Bill Wilkinson, a dissident Klan the lyrics "Now I like sugar and I like tea/But I don't like
leader who was forming his own group. Wilkinson had niggers, no siree/There's two durn things that will make
approached Duke about purchasing the Knights' con- me puke/That's a hog eatin' slop and a big black spook'
fidential membership list and slyly videotaped Duke bar- But note: According to its catalog, his company did "not
gaining the price up to $35,000, money that Duke would necessarily endorse all the ideas contained in these tapes.
have pocketed. Wilkinson then threatened to play the We offer them in che spirit of honest historical inquiry'
video at a Klan meeting; shortly thereafter. Duke left the Then again, perhaps nobody bought the tapes. In
organization. Later it came out that Wilkinson had been 1990 the New Orleans Times-Picayune reported that Duke
an FBI informant since che mid-1970s, and his group had filed no state income-tax returns for the years 1984 to
crumbled; it is unclear whether he was acting at the FBI's '87. Duke at first denied the charge, then claimed he was
behest when he stung Duke into selling out his cohorts. exempt from the requirement because he had earned less
Duke by then was already an old hand at quick-buck than $12,000 a year. But the paper also quoted Duke's
schemes. In 1973, under the name Mohammed X, Duke stockbroker, Charles Safford, as saying that during this
SEPTEMBER 1991 SPY 41
period, Duke had invested heavily in the stock market. Duke campaign's filings in the presence ofa SPY reporter
The paper also reported that Duke made regular trips to noted that Duke had personally lent his campaign more
Las Vegas, where he was a more than casual bettor. One than $77,000 and said, i'd like to sec his tax returns.'
of Duke's ex.girlfriends, Gwen Udell, says that Duke
often had thousands of dollars on the table at a time. TIlE GAY NAZI DRUG-DEALERWANNABE FRIENDS OF
Udell also recalls celebrating Hitlers birthday with 1)ukc DAVID DUKE
and driving him to the office of Dr. Calvin Johnson, the It was one ofthose rcrnarkahle little stories that blip into
plastic surgeon who helped Duke enhance his Aryan consciousness and then disappear: On April 27, 1981,
looks with a nose job, a chin implant and chemical peels. ten men, most of them with ties to the Klan or to neo-
One wonders about where the money came from. Nazi organizations, were arrested in Louisiana by fed-
Could it have come from all those Duke supporters who eral agents for plotting to overthrow the government of
think he is a good Christian? In 1987, Duke was arrested the Caribbean nation of Dominica. Among them were
in Forsyth County Georgia, where he was leading a Michael Perdue of Houston, a man with Nazi affilia-
march, for parading without a permit. He set up a legal. tions; Don Black of the Louisiana Klan; and Wolfgang
defense fund and raised $20,000. His offense netted him Droege of the Canadian Klan. In Perdue the group had
a $55 fine; according to Lance Hill ofthe Louisiana Co- as its leader a man who made p for a lack of cunning
alition Against Racism and Nazism, the rest of the with sheer incompetence. "We somctines had trouble
money has not been accounted for. Former Duke cam- suppressing our laughter in meetings with Pcrdue a fed-
paigner Linda Melton describes the Duke Senate cam- eral officer told the Dallas Times Herald. One time, for ex-
paign's sloppy handling of campaign contributions. She ample, Perdue arrived early for a meeting with police
told py about one fundraising event where the cam- operatives and came upon them installing recording
paign collected vast amounts of cash. The money was equipncnt. He picked up a tapping device and examined
stuffed into black Hefty bags, which Duke carried up. it without getting an inkling of what was happening.
stairs, where he was alone with them for a while. He then "They were clowns' Lindsay Larson Ill, the prosecutor of
brought them down and threw them into the back of a the case, told spy. "Dangerous, but clowns'
truck. had never seen so much cash in my life' Melton The men planned to sail to Dominica, overthrow the
recalls. "It was mind-boggling' Mekon says no records existing government and reinstate the vaguely socialist
were kept about contributors or amounts. An official of former prime minister. Perdue intended then to set up a
the Federal Election Commission who examined the cocaine laboratory, from which he hoped to earn millions
WilO, Mf?
David Duke took the time to speak with s about our findings. Here are his comments.
ON HIS FAILURE TO FILE STATE INCOME-TIX RETURNS: "First off, I've always paid my taxes....What happened was that I didn't
file my state income taxes for a couple of years, and that was because my threshold of income was lower than what was
required." (Duke, by the way, doesn't a/ways pay his taxes. Records show he failed to pay $1,263 worth ofproperty taxes in
1990 and 1991.)
ON WHERE HE GOT $77,000 TO LEND HIS CAMPAIGN: "First, I borrowed $50,000 on my home....The records are clear....I
borrowed some money on my credit cards as well." (According to Duke expert Lance Hill, the records aren't at all clear. They
show that Duke took out a mortgage on his home in 1984, not 1990.)
ON THE DoMINIcA ADVENTURE: "First off, I wasn't involved in that Dominica thing at all. . . There is no evidence whatsoever
that dope was in any way a major part of Lthel plan. . . .Very early this fellow by the name of Perdue talked to me....I said,
'Well, I'm not interested in doing anything with it, but if you want to talk to some patriots or some anticommunists, I'll give
you some names.'"
ON Ge/EN UDELL'S RECOLLECTIONS OF DUNE: "Gwen Udell is one of thosewas a former girlfriend, and former girlfriends and
Iformer boyfriends, you know, whose relationship ended unfortunately, it's hard to take everything that's said from a person
with complete assurance. But no, it's not really true [that I celebrated Hitler's birthdayl, and I certainly reject fascism,
communism and Nazism."
ON KARL HAND'S ALLEGATIONS ABOUT A PORNOGRAPHY COLLECTION: "Well, Karl is in prison for attempted murder, and he's had a
lot of difficulty in his life ...... m appalled that you'd even entertain such a question. That's just totally untrue."
ON NANCY MANNING'S ALLEGATIONS: "There's some nut named Nancy Manning running around.. . .IThe accusation that we had sex
is] totally ridiculous..The woman isI don't want to be sued, but she's unstable. I mean, the woman is totally off her rocker."
ON LINDA MELT0N's ALLEGATIONS ABOUT HEFTY BAGS FULL OF CASH: "Linda Melton was a disgruntled Icampaign] worker who did
not get the position she wanted. But every penny was accounted for. In fact, I never touched the money."
ON HIS CONTINUED ASSOCIATION WITH DON BuicK: "He did some computer work for us in the statehouse campaign a long time
ago, just like about $120 worth....He's married to my ex-wife, so he's around my children, so it's not like I'm not going to
associate with him....Anyway, that's kind of a silly thing to mention."
ON WHY PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING UP HIS PAST: "I'm talking about issues nobody else talks about politically, Isol I'm condemned
for my past. But I won't live in the past....I think I live in the present and look forward to the future."
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In September 1971, Bobby Seale was negotiating with rioting inmates at Attica. America was turning on,
dropping out, digging LedZeppelin I/I. Tricia Nixon was just back from her honeymoon. And on the
nineteenth of that month, 58young people announced their weddings in the society pages of the Sunday
New York Times. In 1991 we pored over all those musty, yellowing wedding announcements and spent
months tracking down every one of couples. Here's what they told us.
7
couple more certainly won't, and I've - ::1 their mother in New Paltz, New York
been trying to decide whether the F ' Y :Ç
("Things other parents take for granted are
success or failure of each marriage .
-f special events for me," Mr. Miner says)
could have been predicted by its an- FAST-FORWARD: Mr. Miner married Whitty
nouncement alone. One of the still-
married wives went to my daughter's
- Sanford in 1980. They live in a farmhouse in
Roxbury, New York, with her two sons. He
school, while one of the divorced couples was a freelance photographer until 1975, when
was married by the same priest who oflici- he started doing nonprofit environmental work. In
ated at my wedding. That says something 1988, Betsy Cornwall remarricd; Mr. Miner and his
about something, doesn't it? Four of the seven debu- new wife attended the wedding. Ms. Cornwall's second
tantes are divorced; so are the three couples who marriage also ended in divorce. She spends her time
married in college, though both couples who married being PTA president, bird-watching and volunteering
in law school stayed together. On the other hand, it's as an emergency medical technician for the New Paltz
hard to believe that both the Cicis are still married. Rescue &uad. The extended modern family gathers for
There are obviously some vestigial Me Decade birthdays and other events. "This is not easy," Mr.
sensibilities at work in the minds ofsome parents (a Miner admits. "All ofus make a very concerted effort."
sterling exception is Jeffrey and Kristine Rogers, who HIM ON HER: "Betsy Cornwall is a very nice person, but
win both the Best Wedding Announcement and Best she and I weren't fated to be married."
Update awards in all categories). Several divorced HER ON HIM: "Tom was such a hipster. I consider myself
couples seem bewilderingly confident that their lucky, because we have a very amiable relationship."
ofipring liked watching the household fall apart. His EARLY WARNING SIGN: When Ms. Cornwall was eight and a
two sons reacted well to the breakup of their parents' half months pregnant, the couple was featured in a
marriage, says one dad: "They are very mature in medical-training film
dealing with changes." "The kids see their father every about cesarean sections.
other weekend," a mom explains. "I think basically Though the film was '
they're products of the nineties, and theyre happy supposed to capture a ..
.
knowing that we're happy." You know those kids of the blissful expectant cou-
nineties, always valuing their parents' happiness above ple,theMiners bickered .
aphorisms just because they're 20 years older than they lace- E i i jahar 1 ii Ud president ; Princeton
used to be. And if these couples had been polled on
their (1971) wedding day, they probablyno,
certainlywouldn't have sounded any better. But still! DIVORCED IN 1990
"It's much more permissive today." "A lot of things CHILDREN:TwO,ages l3and 11
changed for me in 20 years." "When our first dog died, FAST-FORWARD: Both live on the Upper East Side of Man-
it was a big blow." hattan. She says, "I loathe any kind ofpublicity," because
One wonders whether the Times announcements her ex-husband "is fairly controversial." He is a senior
themselves had any influence on the marriages. What if vice president at CBS and, as Laurence Tisch's key strate-
the paper's society editors had picked a whole different gist. is said to run the network.
crop ofpeople for that September 19, and all the FUN FACT: He once told the Times,
couples featured on these pages had found that the only "Im mysterious, and I want ro stay
mentions of their weddings were in their hometown that way."
weeklies? We'll never know, but there's one thing of WHY THEIR WEDDING WAS IN THE TIMES:
which we can be sure: if the Times printed divorce Mayor Lindsay in attendance; Har-
announcements, all marriages would last forever. va rd Law
4ÓSPYSEPTEMBER 1991
t;:-
ilkji*4rí £e4*fs.J a.J tjLt '%..
clenched teeth, adding "I just can't do it!" when asked CHILDREN: Three, ages 14, i i and 9
to say anything mo about her ex-husband. FAST-FORWARD: Mrs. Slonaker teaches platform tennis in
.
4
Mr. Minella is still 'en- Summit, New Jersey. Until Mr. Slonaker's death from
gaged in land development" cancer, the family had lived a normal suburban life. His
! .
and says, "I spend all my time widow says, " We were sort of boring. We really enjoyed
t - .
and all my money on my our children and had a great family life,"
;; I kids. It's better than hanging WHY THEIR WEDDING WAS IN THE TIMES: Daughter of nation-
L .
out with women, sleazing." ally ranked lawn-tennis player; Princeton
SEPTEMBER 1991 SPY 47
.
the early days we definitely had people floating in and together. I know we work very hard," she says.
floating out, and things were being grown outside STATUS OF WEDDING GIFTS: Their favorite present, a Revere
today you wouldn't dare do." silver bowl that had been a shooting trophy of his
Mrs. Templeton is philosophical about the longevi- uncle's, was stolen, along with all the rest of their wed-
ty of her marriage: "Marriage is something you have ding silver. "For a fifteenth-anniversary gift," she says,
to work at, and even then it sometimes doesn't make "my husband went out and bought all new silver. I
it. I think that you change. Were very, very different was very touched by that."
people, grown together and grown apart all at the WHY THEIR WEDDING WAS IN THE TIMES: Btvcrlv Sills
same time." connection
4SSPYSEPTEMRER 1991
"LI -.
_.1-t1i1.
lçuI
CHILDREN:Two, ages 14 and i i The aptly named Whites lived in New York until
FAST-FORWARD: The O'Malleys have lived outside London 1977, when he took a job with Union Carbide in Dan-
for the past five years. Before that, they spent time in bury and they moved to Greenwich. "We love it here,"
Brussels and Mexico. She worked as an administrator says Mrs. White. "My parents live right around the cor-
for the University Foundation at Columbia until they ner, and the girls are the fourth generation at their
moved abroad. He is the VP and international counsel school." Still, the White girls' childhood is different
for the Bristol-Myers Group in Uxbridge. They main- from their mother's: "My 14-year-old knows more
tain a summer home in Connecticut. about life than I ever did. She can tell me a few things.
STATUS OF WEDDING GIFTS: "My favorite rwn Iver ¡r': rnnIi more permissive today, and divorces are much
Irish birds," she says. evalent. I think family values havejwt broken
WHY THEIR WEDDING WAS IN THE TIMES:
Rockefeller i n attendance; Deer- r Union Carbide, Mr. White went to Gulf +
field; Harvard Vestern, now Paramount Communications,
Istreasurer. His wife says, "(Paramount chair-
k;$4fIk ¿17 amt man] Martin Davis is not a very nice boss to
work with! He likes to just stand there and
_.;a take the wings off flies. He runs on humilia-
STILL MARRIED tion, and nobody can do anything right, and
CHILDREN: None *. Lewis, being the treasurer of the whole corn-
FAST-FORWARD: Mr. Ives is a pany, was a very visible target." In 1989, Mr.
principal Appleton Part- White quit and became an independent con-
ners, a Boston money-man- sultant to bankrupt companies. "It's a very
agement firm, which he '
five years." J erusalem, where they have lived ever since, except for
Mrs. Holbrook was until very recently a manager three years when Dr. Wernik was earning his doctorate
and buyer for Stanford University's sports program. Her at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. "lt
husband is the director of marketing services at Coors still feels good 20 years down the road," she says.
Brewing Company. The couple sees each other once "There have been a lot of milestones in our life. We
every month or so. "We see each other at parents' week- were newlyweds, virtually, in '73 when the Yom Kip-
ends," he says. "We had about eight or nine days in pur War broke out, and my husband was in the army
Hawaii together in April. Sometimes business crosses then for seven months."
our paths. " He speculates that the recent death of her Mrs. Wernik, who has a master's degree in social
father, who lived in California, might change their liv- work, works in family therapy and sex therapy.
ing situation, then adds, "But no, she's doing very well
in her job, and I didn't marry a housewife. And I bave , tlIt. t' I.' c*,!* ,. . .
Jli.....,.
the philosophy, as does she, that we work to reach cer- STILL MARRIED
tain levels of self-value, and marriage shouldn't get in CHILDREN: ,NOflC
the way of that." FAST-FORWARD: The self-described "very private" Von
Briesens in Oyster Bay Cove, New York.
Iivc
h.4e4v$4Jt *4*4t THE SECRET OF THEIR SUCCESS: "My parents were divorced
STILL MARRIED about 40 years ago," he says. "Unfortunately, the New
CHILDREN:Two, ages 13 and 8 York City press had a field day with it.
FAST-FORWARD: Both practice law in Denver, where they FUN FACT: Mr. Von Briesen knows Sondra Forbes Jaques.
have lived every year except one since they were mar- WHY THEIR WEDDING WAS IN THE TIMES: Great-grandson of
ned. In 1989 they bought a second home, in Vail. I.egal Aid Society founder
1991 INSIGHTS: "I think people (today) have a much
different idea about how difficult life is going to turn a.J
out to be. Back then people really thought you could DIVORCED IN 1986
solve the world's problems and live happily ever after. CHILDREN: Three, ages 15, 13 and 11; live with mother.
That hasn't turned out to be true," She says, "The kids see their father every other week-
she says. end. I think basically they're products of the nineties,
THE SECRET OF THEIR SUCCESS: "We're a and they're happy knowing we're both happy."
little dullsville," says M rs. Hall. FAST-FORWARD: She runs a landscape-design business in
"We've lived in the same house for Rye, New York. He is a physicianan orthopedic spe-
14 years.' cialistin Brockton, Massachusetts.
STATUS OF WEDDING i 991 INSIGHTS: Katie Brown says, "Hopefully, I'm not
She loves Grandmother's silver
GIFTS: LS naive. I don't see things as black-and-white as I
candelabra; he prefers a chess set. did then. in your twenties, you want everything
FUN FACT:Mr. Hall wanted the to be perfect and people to be perfect, and now I
theme from 2001: A Space know that's not going to happen. I like being
Odyssey played as the bride came single, because I really don't have to compro-
into the chapel. This was not mise too much other than for my children. I'm
perm i ttCd. In charge. I run the ship."
WHY THEIR WEDDING WAS IN THE STATUS OF WEDDING GIFTS: "Things were pretty
TIMES: I)aughtcr ol vice president of r:i1i (Ilvided up," she says.
International Talc Co.; son of a WHY THEIR WEDDING WAS IN THE TIMES: Smith,
mining company president; Smith (:hi>ire; her job at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
50 SPY SEPTEMBER 1991
J4, eQ-a l'L., .. 14,4.t. J(tfse.ss.se t1I1ie
STILL MARRIED
uI4t_ S0.114t..4- CHILDREN: 'I'wo, ages 18 and 19
DIVORCED IN i 974 The Manns live in Cleveland. She re-
FAST-FORWARD:
CHILDREN:None ceived a graduate degree in business administration
FAST-FORWARD: In I 974 he married Baroness Astrid von from Case Western Reserve University, where she now
Heyl; they have one child and live in Manhaan. He is works developing heal rh-care-information systems. He
VP of Forbes Inc.. the family firm, where he courts ad- is chief of obstetrics and gynecology at Cleveland's
vertisers. Sondra is now married to Willard Jaques; they Metro Health Medical Center.
have two children and live in Cold Spring Harbor. THE SECRET OF THEIR SUCCESS: "Compromise," she says.
Wiiî WENT WRONG: "I'm horrified to be part of the statis- "I've been flexible enough to move when he wants to.
tics. I was married before I He's been flexible enough to be able to fix the kids' din-
was 2 1 very stupid," says ner for seven years in a row when I was trying to finish
-T; Forbes. "For once our parents graduate schooland he moved me twice in the middle
were right." of it, so J went to three separate universities to get the
1991 INSIGHTS: "In 20 years," degree. Marriage is something that's not a throwaway
he says, " the perspective one commodity. Over the last 20 years there have been very
I
has on what has happened rocky times, but it's been a matter of sort of hunkering
I around one has changed. One (toWn and saying we'll get through this,"
; probably views with more STATUS OF WEDDING GIFTS: She's attached to an Irish li::cn
fifty, either." .
HIM ON HER: "I don't think there's a fight going on, but
¡ :
ROBABLY 1HE O1)DEST, MOST MANIACAL AND MOST REVILED CREATURES KNOWN TO HIGH
finance are those jackal-like investors who sell stocks short. Since the best thing that can
- happen from their point of view is for a company to go bankrupt, short sellers operate in
a kind of Wall Street Bizarro World, where everything is the opposite of what it should be: good
news is bad, bad news is good, and the stock charts all look like they've been turned upside down.
The life is strange and also lonely. The corporate and financial establishments hate short sellers be-
cause they undermine the boosterish optimism and rising stock prices that keep American busi-
nessmen happy and busy. Add to all this the fact that selling short is extremely risky, and it looks as
ifthe country's premier short sellers would occupy an adequately weird place in the cosmos.
For Joe, Matt and Kurt Feshbach, however, such a role is apparently not quite bizarre enough.
They not only have been wildly successful managing hundreds ofmillions ofdollars in the countrys
largest fund devoted exclusively to selling shortbuying Ferraris and horrifying CEOs along the
waybut also are members of the Church of Scientology. And not just any members, mind you
they have given at least $1 million to the Church, and Joe and Matt have
attained its highest ranking. That's right, they are Operating Thetan VJILc iJiJg a.*ø.s-
(Kurt is a mere OT VII, but he has spent most of the past year holed up
in Florida taking intensive instruction). All three of the Feshbach wives are auditors, or official Sci-
entology therapists, and their children regularly attend Scientology courses after school.
What is most surprising about the Feshbachs' storyto us infidels, anywayis that investing
according to principles of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard has worked spectacularly well
I
As for planting anony-
mous negative stories, Joe
flatly denies any such ac-
tivity. "We don't call re- , 1_
porters, but they often call
us," he claims. Whether
they plant stories or not,
there's no doubt the poten- this particular morning,
tial for press coverage plays
an important role in their
.
_r$! however, the visiting
I lomo sapiens is spared
evaluation of short candi- the process by the discov-
dates: one of the categories !t
cry that the E-Meter has
on their printed "short not been recharged recent-
checklist" ¡s "Would this ly and so is temporarily
company make a story for -
out of ordcr. Even God's
56 SPY SEPTEMBER 1991
_
Wall Street andfeflow
shbachs. So do their employees.
tools, it seems, need batteries. the advertising slogan for the and that seems to describe the need
Scientology was founded around book). For us Scientology is great, for more efficiency: "One of the
1950 by Hubbard, who died in because it helps us to remain ana- biggest hidden expenses around
1986, to "clear" followers of bad lytical when others tend to panic." here can 1)e Dey-T. Handling
memories and unhappiness. The But it's not enough that they despatches more than once, mis-
Church has been convicted of bug- love itthey want everyone else to routing, not CSWing, not solving
ging and burglarizing government love it, too. Stockbrokers who do your own problems, verbal commu-
agencies and harassing former business with the brothers, for ex- nidations etc. eat up a lot of time,
members, and it has been accused ampie, frequently receive solid- effort. Please stamp out Dey-T in
of everything from financial scams tations from them to make do- your areas."
to driving a member to suicide. nations to the Church or to take Although Joe publicly mini-
Besides using the E-Meter, mcm- Scientology courses. "I don't give mizes tIRS role Scientology plays
bers are required to steep them- anything," says one broker. "But I when the brothers research a
selves in the reams of incomprehen- presume if they're giving you a lot prospective short stock, claiming it
sible Church literature written by of commissions, you do cough up. is merely a final factor considered
Hubbard. A sample insight taken It's not any different, really, from OflCC all the requisite analysis has
from Hubbard's best-selling hand- getting hit up by business contacts been done, ex-employees say its a
book, Dianetics: "Excreta are among for the opera or your college or significant force in the Feshbachs'
the easiest things to regulate by something.' investment thinking.
suggestion. Constipation can be It may be a little different from One such source points to the
caused or cured by positive sugges- the opera. Former employees claim case of ZZZZ Best, the Los Angeles
tion with remarkable speed and fa- the brothers engage in a relentless carpet-cleaning company first
cility. The urine can also be so con- campaign within the Feshbach shorted by the Feshbachs in 1987,
trolled. And so can the endocrine si's- offices to persuade workers to join as one instance when the Feshbachs
" Hubbard's the Church. "I believe that if you're applied Scientologywith spectac-
tern.
"management phi-
losophy" is equally profound. flot a Scientologist, you don't have ular results. After their initial re-
Here's some advice on how to han- a aiture at that firm," says one for- search showed the company had
die an office crisis: "Where a 1)an- mer employee. Adds another, questionable real business pros-
get Condition is assigned to a ju- William Ruby, "It's nothing but a pects, the brothers began shorting
nior, request that he or she or the recruiting ground for Scientology. the stock at $6. They subsequently
entire activity write up his or her You couldn't help but feel pres- discovered that one of ZZZZ Best's
overts (contra-survival actions) and sured to join the Church there. senior officers had been involved in
withholds (undisclosed contra-sur- There is a lot of pressure from the petty fraud and stayed with the
vival actions). . .and turn them in at brothers and the other Scientolo- company. As Joe Feshbach told spy,
a certain stated time on a basis that gists to take courses in it." a basic tenet of Scientology holds
the penalty for them will be less- Indeed, it does seem to require that criminal minds stay together;
ened but ifdiscovered later after the great strength to resist joining the another holds that a criminal mind
deadline it will be doubled. " And rest of the office crowd in Scientolo- will denounce whoever seeks to ex-
Hubbard on the key to financial gy, since the place operates as a pose it (ZZZZ Best had publicly
success: "Discover what caused the kind of Church outpost. About half denounced short sellers). These
condition of Affluence and strength- the staff consists of practicing were two reasons Joe himself gave
en it." Indeed, everything Hubbard Church members. Soon after arriv- spyfor the brothers' decision to
wrote or said is either totally mean- ing at the firm, new employees at- hang in with their gamble even
ingiess or completely, ludicrously tend mandatory Scientology semi- while the company's stock was
obviousbut then, maybe that ex- nars called "hatting college" (bat zooming as high as $10. (Another
plains why such celebrities as Sonny being Scientology-speak for job or tenet of Scientology is that the
Bono, Kirstie Alley, John Travolta responsibility) to receive instruc- criminal mind will destroy itself.
and Tom Cruise have joined the tions on carrying out their daily When asked if this played any part
Church over the years. duties and " to groove everyone in to in the Feshbachs' decision, Joe
The Feshbachs can't get enough the same management," Joe says. replied dismissively, "Not at all.")
of this stuff. "Hubbard was, like, Interoffice memos are regularly Ultimately, ZZZZ Best chairman
" Have written in the strange language of Barry Minkow was convicted of
amazing," says Joe fervently.
you read Dianetics? It is the owner's Scientology, as in this note that re- embezzling millions from the corn-
manual of the human mind [this is cently circulated through the office pany, and the Feshbach brothers
SEPTEMBER 19')1 SPY r
i__ : -ToIose S33OrniIIion in six
months is..a problem
made about $7 million from their ing. But having that much money was invited to take home a box of
investment by the time the compa- meant they were forced to move be- chocolates made by a Feshbach-
ny finally went bankrupt in 1987. yond their specialty of uncovering owned chain of chocolatiers. Ex-
But applying Scienmiogy to the "fraud stocks" and into the more plains Joe, "We were just trying to
market has backfired on the broth- risky territory of shorting Fortune be nice. " Perhaps most worrisome,
ers, too. Another former employee 500 companies. As one competing in May the Feshbachs told investors
claims that when the Feshbachs short seller explains it, "Shorting they were withdrawing $7 million
originally shorted L.A. Gear, the these companies requires a purer of their own money from the part-
California sneaker-maker, in 1987, type of analysis than what the Fesh- nership, reportedly to pay income
their logic was based at least in part bachs are used to. Bigger, older taxnot the sort ofact that inspires
on the rumor that certain execu- companies are in many ways harder confidence in your partners.
tives in the company were drug to short, since they are usually real Rather than weaken the Fesh-
users. Since Scientologists consider companies with established records bachs' devotion to Scientology,
drug-taking one of lif&s great evils, and businessesthe research is more however, the recent troubles have
the Feshbachs were said to be con- analytical and less oriented toward reinforced it. As Joe says, "We have
vinced the company would falter. private-detective-type work.' faced a considerable variety of po-
(Joe Feshbach downplayed this The competitor may have a tential points of pressure. . . . Scien-
reasoning to SPY."That was a point point. In the last year alone the tology has helped us keep an ana-
of interest,' he said. "That was not Feshhachs have taken multimillion- lytical perspective on the whole
"
why we were shorting it. ") The dollar losses shorting such large cap- thing. They still spend a lot of
stock, however, suddenly leapt up- italized companies as Wells Fargo time in their Clearwater office,
ward, and the Feshbachs took at Bank, News Corporation and Gold- which they opened in 1987 to be
least an 80 percent loss on their $8- en Valley Microwave Foods. In each close to the Scientology yacht. You
million investment. They recently case a sudden event proved their bet can even catch Matt, reportedly the
returned to shorting L.A. Gear; wrong: superinvestor Warren Buí- most zealous Scientologist of the
given the company's July announce- fett disclosed a 9.8 percent stake in three, currently posing on the in-
ment of a second-cuarter loss, they Wells Fargo, News Corporation's side cover of the paperback Dianet-
may be setting themselves up to Rupert Murdoch sold offmost of his ic_c. Sporting a snappy bow tie and
overcome their earlier setback. magazine group to Kohlberg Kravis claiming that Scientology helps
Roberts, and Golden Valley merged him stay calm, Matt appears at the
INVESTOR MAKES MIS- with ConAgra. bottom of a list of Church zealots
takes, and the L.A. Gear Accordingly, times have been that includes Judy Norton-Taylor,
¿VERY
debacle doesnt matter tough around the Feshbachs' offices. the actress who played Mary Ellen
much when you consider that in Several investors apparently pulled on the television series The Wa/toni,
1989, Southgate Partners gained 19 their money from the partnership at and has-been jazz musician Chick
percent. Unfortunately, in 1991 the the end the second quarter. The Corea. The caption under Matt's
failures have multiplied, and South- brothers discontinued the catering picture reads, "Clear since 1975."
gate, which ended last year with service, whose costs had run as high Wall Street has become an ad-
$850 million under management, as $16,000 a month, that had pro- mirably tolerant place. No one
was down 39 percent in the first vided free meals to the office staff. much cares anymore who you are or
half of this year. To lose $330 mil- In February a memo circulated in what you believe in as long as you
lion, or two-fifths ofyour capital, in Palo Alto decreeing that Perrier make money. But when things go
six months is. . .a problem. All the water was thenceforth reserved for badly, your strange notions and be-
shorts suffered in the postGulf the general partners only; the rest havior loom larger. Wall Street is
War stock-market rally, but the of the staff was to ride out the cost- watching the Feshbachs, and what
Feshbachs have taken a much worse cutting with mere Calistoga water. the brothers perceive as their great-
beating than most. The jet was put up for sale. Then, est strength may indeed turn on
After almost a decade of tough- last summer, 14 employees were them. 'I think their Scientology will
ing out the vagaries of the market laid off. In a particularly unpleasant be an issue for them if their results
with the other feared and loathed episode, two of those who were let don't pick up," says one New York
Wall Street shorts, the Feshbachs go were hauled into Joe's office and short seller. "It's okay to be eccentric
last year found themselves sitting on fired in front ofeach other. Still, the and successful. It's not okay to be cc-
top of more money than theyd Feshbachs have feelings: before centric and unsuccessful. Investors
probably ever dreamed of manag- leaving the firm, each fired worker don't like to look like fools.")
58SPYSEPTEMBER 1991
VV. I FVI F1IIVJ IVJIJIC I J DIJT...CVCI
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Whitney Nou3ton: I'm (London, 35078 (Dey Arner:ciri 52142 Styx: 14 Classics (WarnerCurb) 60351 iV rgi'r) 54232 Got (Chrysais) 33512
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3 HIts (A&M 04891 ReprïseíTho Vory Gool Kronos Quand (Elekira) 74190 Running On Empty A Little Ami Enough
Roger McGuinn: Back Janos Addiction Year8 Reprise) 80304 Winter Was Hard Chicago: Greatest Hits iClektral 11056 (Warrior Brosl 10551
From Rio Ar idi 61997 RItual de lo Habitual HI-Five Noriestctij 00675 (Reprise) 63363 Trixter MCA) 61594 Peter Gabriel: 16
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)
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Salesperson, Dozen
Town Again
To the reader: It is frankly terrifying to consider that if he hod not been required to pass the cement-mason exam, Henry AI-
ford would be repairing cornices. Underqualified readers of this magazine pose a similar danger to the public safety, and so
we have devised the i 991 SPY Aptitude Test. Each section of this story is followed by a question. Mark all of your answers on
the separate answer card and mail it to us by September 1 4, 1 991 . We will send you your results. Work rapidly withoul
sacrificing accuracy. Guessing will not improve your score. If you cannot answer a question, maybe you should be reading
Rolling Stone. Please begin reading now.
IN EARLIER, SIMPLER TIMES, YOU MATURED INTO A TRUSTED ARTISAN THROUGH A NATURAL PROCESS. You DID
not need to worry about becoming "certified" and filling in computer-readable answer bubbles with a No. 2
pencil and responding "true" or "false" on a psychological test to the statement "I like tall women' No, a black-
smith was a blacksmith because he was a blacksmith; chandlers chandled and wheelwrighrs wrought wheels. In
today's superrationalized, postindustria! world, however, you may be obliged to pass a test in order to cua!ify
for almost any money-making pursuit. There is a Certified Picture Framers examination. There is an American
Council on Exercise aerobics-instructor test. Bobby Zarem takes up the story at this point.
"It's a sad commentary that I can get through Andover and Yale and not pass the press-agent test:' said the
New York public-relations demigod earlier this year when he failed the Association ofTheatrical Press Agents
and Managers' three-hour written and oral test. Zarem's 26 years of representing such clients as Caddyshack Il
and Jackie Collins were as nothing before the hard, cold fact of his poor performance on a standardized test.
An ATPAM spokesperson commented, "It's the equivalent of failing the bar exam'
In an attempt to identify exactly what employers and professional organizations are looking for in their em-
ployees and members, I took 31 tests this winter and spring. I took official
j4
()() SPY SEI'iEMBITR 19<)I
md Fail the Tests for CIA Agent, Floral Designer, Cement Mason,
Morebut Qualify for a Career as a Psychic
or practice tests for bartenders, floral designers, travel agents and postal-machine mechanics; tests for addiction
specialists, geologists, foreign-service officers and ÇIA agents. (I did not take the exam for state troopers, however,
having been offended by sorne of the questions in a preparation guide for that test: "When driving a full-sized
car, are you tall enough to see over the steering wheel?"; "When standing next to a full-sized car, can you easily
see over the top?" The writers of the test seemed to suspect that I was a dwarf.) My performance on al! the tests
was very disappointing. I expected them to challenge me, hut I was perhaps inadequately prepared for their rigor,
and indeed, I experienced renewed admiration for those who actually become bartenders and CIA agents. There
is not yet a test for freelance writers, of course. It occurs to me that perhaps this is just as well.
The painter of theatrical scenery Who ¡S the entryway. Inside the studio the test's ''-
::'-
interested in gaining admittance into organizers had marked out some 45
Local 829, the United Scenic Artists, roughly five-by-five-foot painting areas
fits into one of two categories. Track A on long rolls of muslin that were stapled
is for scenic artists with two or more to the floor. I picked a SPOt and unloaded
years of professional experience; Track my supplies. The other candidates,
B is for people with "more traditional most ofwhom were in their twenties or
design and/or painting skills:' Deciding thirties, were hunched over their areas 1
that my own painting history had been of canvas, applying grids. Just before
more traditional, I applied for the latter. 9:00 we gathered round, and one of the ,j1I t
For Track B admission into the union, union members gave us a short speech J, .-."
one must simply pay $150, successfully in which she welcomed us to the Track
complete a Home Project and pass a B exam and told us to "relax and enjoy" Although few vocational
studio painting test. ourselves but explained that if we tests are as curious as
The Home Project involved painting didn't stop painting at 5:00, one of the Minnesota
two reproductions - one ola door draped the test's organizers would take the
Multiphasic Personality
with striped material, the other a still paintbrushes from OUf hands. Various Inventorythat test,
life ofa copper jug and fruit. I will not colors ofpaint in three palettesMuralo used in the past by
pretend that these selections were not latex, Iddings casein and Rosco Super nuclear-power plants,
disappointing to mc. I had been hoping Saturated acrylicwere set out for us
among other employers,
for something like a backdrop for The in 50 plastic buckets at the far end of
requires applicants to
Pajama Garne. the studio.
respond "true," "false"
On the Saturday of the eight-hour When we returned to the work area, or "cannot say" to
studio test I arrived at the basement of each of us had a sealed manila envelope statements such as
the Capital Cities/ABC building at West lying on his canvas. Opening the envelope "Peculiar odors come to
End Avenue and 66th Street. At 8:30 revealed a lovely watercolor ofa goldfish. me at times"all these
a.m. I stacked my rolled-up paintings After I had gridded my muslin, I walked exams have their own
on top ofthe other candidates' work in over to the paint area and filled nine -.-+
particular logic and
C .
r /'\ " d' '
SO YOU WANT TO BE
A DOG GROOMER
( How was I going to explain calmly to
11r .
'
JI j I
,J :
l-j.-
(,: &/
,
equivalent of Broderick Crawford in an
ill-fitting suitso I had special reason
/1 \
O.
ç)\
Mason Diction:
"You gotta either know
somebody or know
somebody who knows
somebody. It's all mob.
Completely mob-run.
Hey, what's the proper
tucking tool to prevent
honeycombing?"
in front of me in line wore a shirt that the tools all sounded like popular dance
said KISS A BRICK; he had much to say steps of the thirties and forties; however,
about the storage of po'er tools. my subsequent search for mentions of
The test consisted of 80 questions. the Trunky Doo was completely in vain.
I did not know what screeding was. Since taking this test, I have spent
When asked "Which two ofthese tools more time thinking about sidewalks.
for coffeeand bumping into Kevin Costner! Imagine entering what you think is a New York
restaurantand stumbling into a theme park created by the guy who did the sets for Batman! Imagine giving
away still more of your leisure dollars to actor-impresarios Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sly Stallone!
AST wEEK," SAYS BOBBY ZAREM, "I WANTED TO KILl. MYSELE" No, THE EMINENT NEW
York publicist hadn't looked deep inside himself, examined a life spent hypingJackie Mason, Cher
and Pee-wee Herman, and concluded that death was preferable to another evening working the
tables at Elaine's. Nor had he been pushed to the brink by the umpteenth person to accost him
and say, "Hey, you look just like Larry from the Three Stooges!" he likes that. What had moved Zarem to near-
suicide was a photograph in People: "There's a huge picture ofBruce Willis riding an elephant at the circus. He's
wearing a PLANET HOLLYWOOD cap, but it's turned facing the other way, so you can't tell what it is!"
This was a precious chance lost for Zarem and Planet Hollywood, the upcoming $15 million restaurant on
(8 SPY SEPTEMBER 19')I
%li_L,$1tel11Jt4.zl*
West 57th Street, just down the block from the Hard Rock Cafe. As envisioned by its backers, Planet Hollywood
will be the movie-star hangout in New York, a place where ordinary folk will have the opportunity to mingle
with stars such as Willis, Schwarzenegger and Stallone while eating burgers and pasta in a breathtakingly spec-
tacular cinematic environment.
What separates this dream from those of most hyperbolic club impresarios is the restaurant's pedigree: the
three actors are actually investors in the place, having agreed to exchange capital and personal appearances for
a cut of the profits: Keith Barish, a movie producer of middling success and some upper-middlebrow repute
(Sophiec Choice, Irünweed, Light ofDay). is the instigator of the project and an investor; Anton Furst, the set de-
signer best known for his work on Tim Burton's Batman, is in charge of the restaurant's design which is bud-
geted at $8 million. (Zarem is also an investor and will get i percent ofthe profits, he says, "because I have some
authorship ofthe concept here') Plans for a half-dozen more Planets worldwidesequels, ifyou willare under
way well before a single turkey burger haS hit the griddle (and, for that matter, before the griddle has been in-
stalled). According to one Zarem press release, Planet, scheduled to open in September, will be nothing less
than a "world-wide cultural plenomenon."
SEPTEMBER 1991 SPY6
(:otiIeieritirg the visual splendor and star power will be a 90-seat and Planet is "like an art movie vs.
state-of-the-art screening room downstairs, office space for rcnr upstairs, a tal Recall. We have customers in-
. . .
function room and adjacent VIP room and. most important, a boutique terested in them.relves, and in dinne;
ofultradesirabk Planet Hollywood merchandise. Already Zarern has senr Planet Hollywood, on the othcr
logoed T-shirts, sweatshirts, caps, terry-cloth robes and leather jackets to hand, will he "the knock-down. drop-
hundreds ofpublic ligures, from Kim Basinger to Wayne Grerzky to Eddie dead hangout ofall tirne' says Zarem
Murphy to Swify Lazar to Sam Shepard to George Bush - the idea being with an absolutely straight face. "We
that ifenough famous people pUl)JiCly sport their Planet Hollywood togs, vill have the hottest, most beautiful
there vill ensue a mass acquisitive frenzy like the one that motivates peo- models, the chic-est social peopk.
plc to spend $10 million a year on Hard Rock merchandise in New York any star in 1-lollywoodas well as
City alone. 'People have started to fucking wear the sweatshirts, all this people from Columbus, Ohio. . . . I
shit, all over the country says Zarein. "Harry Hamlinhis girlfriend, dont mean ro sound like an asshok.
Nicolette Sheridan, has a jacket, and I promised him one as soon as J get But it's been in all of our bones for
some more!" The degree to which the public will imitate the stars' sartorial years. When I tell People the ide:1,
choices will play a big role in Plane Hollywood's fortunes. Unlike the people can't fucking-cock-shit-ass
Hard Rock. where the '[shirts and baseball caps began as an afterthought, imagine why nobody's done it beforc'
Planer is counting heavily on merchandise sales to recoup its backers' in-
vestment. Barish expects Planet to break even in 12 to 18 months. "We look "Welcome to Planet Hollywood' says
at the Hard Rock's numbers, Barish says, "and think we'll surpass them' a cheerful young woman in a skirt
At first blush Planet Hollywood seems suspiciously like a no-bramer much too short for this raw Februar
remake of the Hard Rock, of which Zarem used to be publicist, with film day. "Want a hard hat" Although
references substituted for rock 'n roll ones, "I don't mind the comparison the street-level space where Bruce
with the Hard Rock' says Barish. "lt's either the third- or second- or fourth- Willis is scheduled to preside OVC[
largest tourist attraction in New York. But it's like saying the Museum of a ground-breaking ceremony and
Modern Art and the Whitney are the same because they both hang pic- place his feet in wet cement is just a
tures' (Barish, an art collector, does not indicate which museum his res- few paces from Carnegie Hall, this
taurant will resemble more,) part of West 57th Street looks more
J udging from what actually is supposed to decorate the walls and ceil- like downtown Baghdad. The chills'
's ! !
'' I
irnaginesfor Planet Hollywood thisfall: "a gala. invitation-only opening with 500
'
ìIIT ': i Ii people there, the most excitIng, interesting, dynanite, colofulpeople in thefields of sports,
.--
,
- .
. .,T
- journalism, nodeling, movies and ,n,aybe politics. " A las, his "goodfriend"Jason Patric
-
-
..
b probably won't be among the celebrants, Bobby says, because "with all this Ulula
Furst's rendition of the scaled- Roberts) shit going on, the likelihood ofhis coming is not great. " But asfor the other
dow n fac ad e megastars, Zarern knows who will be there, and where and why.
S ' _-
Anton's
:r.._.
)
y T;
f
-' - .
II4.I1fII'H141'114i
I could see them , I .._--
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--'--
there, he wont be
talkinqtoamusic
star!'
--4 .
JER[1Y RUNS
"He just sent me I
I
.
lì
'.
- 2'
4 . // T u
-- LLE MACPHERSON
WARRENhavInqa
hal9ottenhej" :
tr:
THE Oi'NFP
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CHYNNA AND M?CHEE PHILLIPS
STING AND CARL? SIMON
BRUCE WILLIS "But there'll be a party here for
"These are people we've Michelle a few weeks later, so
SYLVESTER STALLONE
been in touch with." she may not want to come."
JOHN HUGHES
JACKIEONASSIS
"She's Arnold's aunt. She
came to my luncheon lin 1977,
before she was Arnold's aunt] .,
¼ '
.
ç-
I I h 1._f. .
askedthesameoldquestion:'Isthisgoingto
to the wall behind the where bare
.;
be something like the Hard Rock? And no, Will be mounted sideways. Corn-
it's going to be two or three notches removed plementing the pool area will be
-
from the Hard &ck' says Tate, the Main a real diving board and a coyly-
Event's president. 'Tito came up with an interesting phrase (to describe the tossed-aside bikini top, either Mari-
Main Event), and that is, a total entertainment experience.' lyn Monroe's or Madonna's. Lights
Tito is, ofcourse, the second-oldest member ofthe originaijackson 5 (you'll projecting through a tray of water
remember him as the pudgy one with the cap), andJackson's Main Event, when will make the wall look wet, satisfy-
completed, will be to his family what Hyde Park is to the Roosevelts: an enter- ing Furst's desire for a relaxing
taming, educational monument to a unique, influential American family in gurgling-pool effect without posing
this case, with the added attraction of interactive music video. liability problems. "We don't want
"There's not very much in that northern Midwest region of America' says anyone to think that there's a pool up
Tito, explaining his family's decision to build Jackson's Main Event on a there' says Barish. "I mean, this isn't
32,000-square-foot lot within the Mall ofAmerica, the 78-acre shopping-and- a themeparkwe're not trying to fake
entertainment complex now under construction in Bloomington, Minnesota. anybody out.'
"Coming from that area - Chicago area, Gary, Indiana - I remember as a kid No, Planet Hollywood has to be
there wasn't very much to do, even in the summer mOnths." real, a testament to the genuineness
Sojackson's Main Event, with Tito as its CEO, will provide visitors with live of film history. Barish has been
entertainment, amateur-talent showcases, attractive merchandise (Jermaine is spending money by the tens of thou-
working with Tito on possible logo designs) and museumlike exhibits that will sands for such auction-house gems
allow tourists to trace the family's history from its cozy, precocious beginnings as Clark Gable's liquor flask, a bell
in Gary to its moneyed, sprawling, somewhat dysfunctional state today. Vivien Leigh gave Laurence Olivier,
"As you walk in the door'says Tate, "there will bea replica oftheir home. .at .
and a charcoal portrait of James
2300Jackson Street. and you will be able to experience the home situation
. .
Dean (price: $17,000) upon which
and hear the music of the late fifties and early sixties that influenced the actor inscribed the protestation
them. They didn't just come out of a vacuum, okay? They evolved. And we
. . .
"Look not upon this figure for the
want to be able to tell someone that story." greatness that is demanded of me."
J ust as Planet Hollywood hopes to make visitors feel as if they were per- MTV veejay Adam Curry, who
sonally participating in the flimmaking process, Tito and Tate want Main wore the PLANET HOLLYWOOD T-shirt
Event patrons to feel as if they'd achieved Jacksonhood. "We're working now sent him on the is skep-
aire
with the possibility ofputting together some sort ofvideo that would have a fan tical of the notion that youngsters
actually being able to be superimposed on a video, dancing with thejacksons with disposable income will want
onstage or something like that:' says Tate. "Something that they can walk away to see old movie memorabilia. "I
with that's kind ola real personal experience they can show to other people:' think that a rock 'n' roll thing even a
Though Tito will function as the principaijackson-family operative, he em- hundred years old (sic) is more in-
phasizes that all thejacksons, including Michael andJanet, will be involved. teresting to a kid than, say, James
"We will be the Main Event:' he says. "We want to give our fans and public a Dean's steering wheel:' he says. "Kids
sense of personality, almost like we're there with them. .11 [Michael's) in the
. .
today have not seen a James Dean
area or in concert or whatever, he can stop by and give a wave and sign a couple movie they see Paula Abdul's video
of 'graphs." where Keanu Reeves is doing Rebel
Tito says that the Main Event will open along with the rest of the Mall of %"jt/01tt a Cauuse and she's doing
America a year from now, even though early this summer he and Tate had Natalie Wood, and they say, 'What is
neither fully worked out the details ofwhat the Main Event will encompass nor that about?"
decided on a designer for the facility. Still, Barish and Earl have stuck
These minor obstacles aside, Tito and Tate feel bullish. "We basically want ''ith their fifties icons. "It's funny'
to keep it very excliisive' says Tate. "We don't want to duplicate it in every city, says Barish, "because I was meeting
in every mall." For this reason, proposed locations ofadditionaiJackson's Main with a director whds one of the four
Events will, for now, be limited to Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Atlanta, Orlando, or five top directors in the world,
Paris, Madrid, Berlin, Australia and Tokyo. Maureen Shelly and he said, 'You know what you
_______________________________________________________________ should get? That monkey that James
74 SPYSEPTEME3ER 1991
Dean carried in Rebel Without a 20 square feet. Only the exterior's awnings, and the latex palm trees, re-
Cause.' And I said, 'We bought it!" main intact.
(Barish later lets slip that the top Inside, Marilyn's many legs, originally planned to number a dozen, have
director wasJohn Hughes.) been reduced two at the entrance to Hollywood Heaven and one in the
Overall, Planet Hollywood's mcm- main dining area. "We don't want to overdo says Barish. Gone are the
orabilia collection will more reflect pearly gates ('They look like cemetery gates, don't they?"); likewise a zebra-
the owners' connections than it will patterned floor ("Nobody got the reference:' says Barish, who explains that
the history of cinema or popular zebra-patterned floors were de rigueur in 1930s nightclubs). Also scrapped
taste: through Arnold, Planet Holly- are plans for a wall that looks like the view from a car window and a spe-
wood has both the cyborg from Ter- cia! ocean-wave simulator. The button-back movie screen is now overhead
minator 2 (price: $25,000) and the and modified to look like a drive-in screen, though Barish is still uncertain
phone booth from Commando; Zarem what it should show (clips? Menu specials? Trailers for Terminator 3 and
got hold of a pair of crude spears Die Even Harder?).
from Spartacus because he knew he The most dramatic changes are in the plans for the VIP room. Origi-
could get his pal Kirk Douglas to nally it was to have a private bar with its own rest rooms and TV, and
donate them in a public ceremony. as Zarem envisioned it, "Someone could go late at night, like Costner,
Barish says that he and his partners Nicholson, if they want to watch a fight on TV. . . No pushy security
.
sought souveni rs from Spartacus people, not a Studio 54 situation, but a place where the partners and
rather than, say, Citizen Kane because their friends can sit and have meals brought to them.' At one point it
"Orson Welles is dead. If he were was going to be outfitted with a fireplace from a famous Hollywood
alive and still sitting at his table at mansion and have a separate, special menu and a full-time butler on
Ma Maison, I would've gone over duty. Byjune, Barish had decided it "would really be just for meetings
and talked to him about it' and interviews:' and it was scaled back to just a couch, a desk and a
bathroomall the better, anyway, since elitist, seclusive stars don't suit
Only weeks separate Barish and Planet philosophy: "It defeats the purpose of what we're trying to do,
company from the scheduled Sep- which is to make this not a movie-star hangout but something for the
tember opening date, and the ap- publicyet a place where a movie star or a celebrity will want to go,
propriate buzz is in the air: Sneaker at least enough of the time to, uh, share that experience with the pub-
companies and soda manufacturers,
he says, have started to ask about Barish oot the ¡oea for ao Hollywoofl me way mo
promotional tie-ins; Barish says
he'll do only a few "sensible" ones. lic. And thafs a delicate balance'
Producers have begun to inquire Barish says that late in the planning stage he realized he was focus-
ing too much on Hollywood's glitz. So
while patrons suck down margaritas,
oroìcers oet meas tor movIesmom soffl000lly else they can visit a special area set aside
about using the place for premieres. by Barish for more serious tribute to Hollywood and the courageous
Interview has asked to set up sem- stands it took movies, from Gentle,nan's Agreement to The Grapes of Wrath,
mars sponsored by Kodak, and the Soph - uh, movies on apartheid like Cry Freedom or A Dry White Season, or
American Film Institute wants to a movie like Gandhi, or Sophier Choice or ironweed, whatever, movies that
hold tributes there. Zarem's celeb- really tried to make a difference'
rity product-placement targets have
been surprisingly willing to comply The days continue to tick away, and Barish and Furst are having yet an-
with his marketing strategy: the New other design meeting, discussing such issues as where to stick the dummy
York Posi ran a photo of Madonna of the dead astronaut from 2001. (He ends up in Hollywood Heaven.) "I
jogging in a PLANET HOLLYWOOD had one crazy idea I wanted to try:' Barish says. "I was thinking of going
Tshirt. to a special-effects guy and having him come up with a planet that could
But for all the expertly engineered actually move around in the starry ceiling:'
hoopla, the space at West 5 7th Street 'Is that too theme-park?" responds Furst.
still looks much as it did the day "Well' says Barish, "I'm asking you'
of Willis's press conference. Furst "I think that it :' says Furst. "Totally, yesifit's literal and moving in
wanted the facade to be decorated all directions:'
with long, backlit filmstrip-style "Like the Hard Rock used the car that's upside-down or sideways:' Bar-
portraits of stars like Dean, Mon- ish says, hoping for a positive response.
roe and Bogart, and an illuminated Furst sets Barish straight: "See, Planet, it's a thing of the mind rather
globe bearing the PLANET logo. than something literal."
But zoning codes forbid illumi- "Okay' says Barish, backtracking. "It's a terrible idea. It's a Bobby Za-
nated signs on 57th Street and limit rem idea' He pauses and ponders. "But I'd like something going on up
space for exterior signage to a paltry there')
SEPTEMBER 1991 SPY 5
Review of Rewus Gary Giddins: "Julie London's tim-
bre and phrasing had a savvy that
let you know she could probably
deconstruct Finiegans Wakeby
candlelight and in a shorty night-
gown." If you had read them, you
Acronolís Now probably would have thought, Ei-
¡ber these reviews have been badly
Madonna Goes Homeric and translated from Gaelic oras is more
Renaissance; Commentary Worships likelythey are meaningless. (Sup-
porting the latter theory would be
Zeus; a Classic Look the knowledge that all rock reviews
at the Paper of Record seem to consist of phrases pasted up
randomly by the art department.)
Strangely enough, EW's editors ap-
uy Humphrey Oeilllo
pear to agree that these comments
are nearly useless. A recent issue in-
cluded a full-page ad for a new 900
number that allows a caller to listen
And they're off! Writing about Dolly Parton for to selections reviewed in the maga-
Vanity Fair, Kevin Sessums is out of the gate fast: "A Texan zinc. (Needless to say, this service
carries a fee.) In the ad, the quotes
with an instinct for crude can, like Dolly herself, go from above were reproduced and a young
bust to millionaire in a matter of months. . . Parton's battle plan
.
man holding a copy ofEW was pic-
for her own brand of femininitya kind of Desert Form, if you tured wearing a quizzical, annoyed
will . . . " But here comes Carl Wayne profiling Madonna for Time: expression. The headline read, BUT
"Madonna's artistic persona has clearly transformed from Daffy Disco WHAT DOES lT SOUND LIKE? I believe
Dolly into a more substantial, surrealistic Poly Dali incarnation. " Ses- a serious conflict of interest exists
sums: "[Parton) is certainly the doll in dollar." Wayne: "A quantum here. This arranement actually
artistic growth spurt, ifyou will."
They're neck and neckif you
will! Sessums: " 'Bearing witness'...
means to spread the gospel of Jesus
Christ. Dolly chose to bear wit." It's
Sessums in the lead: "We were hay-
ing dinner with a group of mutual
friends at Le Madri, a Manhattan
restaurant frequented by the city's
rakish clump of frequenters. . . . ¡yana
sent over a bottle of wine. . . .The
Blonde leading the Blonde." But
hold onheres Wayne with "Hyp-
nagogic sexscape. . .Circe with a
wink and a whip" and, beating Ses-
sums at the wire, "Call them out-
of-bawdy Madonna experiences . " A
surprise on a sloppy track Sessums
is usually a sure thing.
Let's sayjust for argument's
sakethat you've been buying En-
tertainment Weekly. Then you might
have read this line ofJames Ber-
nard's: "Digital Underground's Same
Song transcends being a musical
track for a party to become the
party itself." Or this appraisal from
the usually smart and engaging
76SPYSEPTEMBER 1991
makes it profitable for EW's music had corpse ligaments ¡n mind when immortal gods . Well, either the
critics to be frustratingly opaque it photographed a model's beautiful Greeks were wrongobjectively
and nonsensical. Meanwhile, they knee. And viewing a shot of her speakingor we will soon see
obviously need no encouragement. bare, not unbeautiful back, one has Norman Podhoretz make offerings
Also in a recent EW, Tom De many thoughts, but i wonder zfthe to Hera.
Haven reviewed Thomas M. Disch's essayist Phi/lip Lopate suffers lower- I feel sorry for Craig Whitney,
The M.D. and called him "a brazen, back pain? is not among them. London-bureau chief for the Times.
demanding, endlcssly "Twenty years ago, I Let me amend that. I don't feel sorry
inventive writer" and "a started getting lower for Craig Whitney. Every so often
devilishly clever narra- back pain," Lopate wrote the Ti,,zes runs its Turnbull & Asser
tor!" The novel, De Ha- All rock reviews alongside the picture. He story, and Whitney drew the as-
ven said, is "a pitiless described his daily exer- signment this time. The story
fairy tale and a Faust- . cises and his "achiness" about the London shirtmaker essen-
seem to consist ,.
and remarked, I could
. .
family chronicle and a say more, but there is ally shop at Paul Stuart. Prince . .
crackerjack medical
of phrases
nothing duller than Charles. .shy American. .bespoke...
. .
thriller. " Quite a rave! lower back pain." Believe old-world service. .Churcbill Room,..
.
De Haven gave the book us, Mr. Lopate, we know. very expensive. . .
bespoke. . . which way to
just about the highest pasted up He also wrote, "I have the House o/Lordi? I feel sorry for
praise you can give a often felt the deepest Whitney because he sounded no
work ofart these days; he love at just that moment less foolish than anyone else who
gave it an A. And better randomly by the when the beloved turns has written on the subject (maybe a
yet, to actually experi- her back toward me to little more foolishthe motif of his
"
ence Thomas Disch our- get some sleep. Or as story was that his chest was too
selves, we didn't even art department many a nonessayist has broad for an off-the-rack shirt, but
have to call a 900 num- put it, the ideal woman Turnbull & Asser got it right, "the
ber. We could simply turn to, a few would turn into a pizza right after yoi chest 46 inches tapering down to
pages later, some video reviews boinked. 41'A at the waist"). I don't feel sorry
Disch himself had written for EW. Co,nmentary, and the neoconser- for Whitney because his shirts were
"The Rose Tattoo [is] another slice of vative movement generally, conrin- probably a tax deduction.
ham grilled to perfection by [Burt] ue to defend objective reality In his review in New York of
Lancaster," Disch wrote, brazenly against slack-spined relativism. I Trath or Dare, David Denby said
and demandingly. He gave the film think a belief in objective reality is Madonna and her supporting cast
version of William Inge's Come perfectly okay; if it works for you, are "a troupe outside society, not all
Back, Little Sheba an A, but don't be then that's a choice you have every that different from a wandering
suspicious. After a thorough right to make. But Commentary's band ofplayers in the Renaissance."
searchfrom the TV series Sisters to role in this conflict has suddenly Reviewing Theodore Draper's book
De La Soul's latest releaseI can re- taken a strange form. Charlotte about the Iran-contra affair in the
port that William Inge did not Allen recently reviewed the best- Times, Herbert Mitgang called North
write a review for that issue of LW. selling IronJobn, by Robert Bly, the et al. "the leading players in [a] mem-
Fearful of their rhapsodies, I poet who has led the new, Cost- orable commedia dell'arte troupe."
"
wouldn't have asked some middle- neresque "men's movement. "For And in The New Republic, reviewing
aged writers to discuss parts of the Bly," Allen wrote, "one god is as Columbia's Robert Johnson anthol-
body, as The New York Times Maga- good as any other, for none exists in ogy long after it was issued, Russell
zine did recently, especially ifgrainy the objective world." This is terri- Banks compared the Delta blues
black-and-white photos of an un- ble, Allen said, liberal subjective- singers of the I 920s and '30s to
clothed female model were to ac- ness at its worst. Gods do exist in "medieval jongleurs or Provencal
company the text. As things turned
'
the objective world. There is such a l)CtS. 1)o we really live in times so
out, no one need have worried thing as "transcendent objective re- similar to the Mediterranean world
about an excess of lyricism. Next to ality." The ancient Greeks, for ex- of several hundred years ago, or are
a shot of a slightly bent knee ample, "told and retold myths such comparisons just a lazy way to
pearly and delicate, with long fin- about Zeus not because Zeus was a add a bit of pseudolearned histori-
gers resting on the thighJane De- symbolic name for the 'Zeus en- cal dash to reviews Let's make a
Lynn wrote about knee surgery, ergy' inside each of them, as Bly test: "David Denby is as 'with-it' as
prosthetists and "transplanted liga- calls it, hut because they believed a fifteenth-ccntury Venetian bea-
ments of cows, corpses and one's that Zeus cxisted in the transcen- die." A'tuallv. that's about right.
own body. ' I'm not sure the Ti,nes dent world, that he was one of the Hail me a gondola.)
SEVFEMBER 991 SPY 77
ji' .
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82SPYSEPTEMIIER 1991
Fiber Optics As has been reported in these pages before, when shiny,
stretchy, petroleum-based fibers are pulled tight over spheroid objects
(natural or unnatural), those spheroid objects emit a kind of phospho- E: AI
rescent sheen. Among those taking advantage of this new attention-
getting physics principle in planning their wardrobes arc (1) acces- L ;ii
sones entrepreneur Paloma Picasso; (2) pinup girl Dolly Parton; (3,4)
Rachel Hunter (Mrs. Rod Stewart), who likes her luminescence in
front and in back; (5) conceivably extraterrestrial designer Mary Mc-
Fadden; (6,7) Mrs. Sean Connery (on two separate occasions); (8) sur-
vivor Tina Turner; (9) actress Lisa Collins, whose husband, actor Billy
Zane, also went for the articulated-nipple approach; and (10) very
snappy dresser Sylvester Stai lone.
- - .4
À JA
st
9
DR
_L .
-
Palm Beach fright fixture
L L
.ø Mollie Wilmot. talking to
someone called Prince Di-
I
,,- .
/ -
\ obligingly allows Wilmot to
b
.-
J
test out her blades by raking
, 1r ,
,
i
4, I
his face.
for ixrsonaI. prioritized life-style Lawmakersall those in faor, Our annual census of the I 00
management. Plus. inside Mensa! say dllh. Plus. terminal-impact most annoying, alarming and
.
cuergies of the stars! appalling people, places and
April 1988 things.
IiIE NIcL ISSUE . March 1989
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The SPY IlldX
Davis, Martin Graham, Martha, II McCartney, Linda, 29, 32. 34 Schwarzkopf, Norman,
hating Regarding Henry, 20 Grapes of Wrath, The, 7'1 whining to her father, 36 Scale, Bobby, I
raking wings offthes. 49 Guttenberg, Steve, 71 McCartney, Paul, 32. 34 Shepard, Sam, ,t
Dean, James, 71, 75 Hamlin, Harry, 11 choosing iilvcstment banker Sills, Beverly, 48
Deerfield Academy Hand, Karl, 40, 41 by sound of its name, 29 Simon, Carly, 72
as a1)I)31rft Irast common Harrison, George, ,0, 32, 34, equating his band co the Simon, Sam, 24
Alzado, Lyle, S DeVito. Danny, 84 Eim,', S Mcueen, Steve, 71) Snyder, Richard, 12
American Psycho, I 5 Diller, Barry, .'.1-75, 82 Houston, Whitney, 73 McRaney, Gerald Sophie 's Choice, 69, 73. 75
Aricier. Garth, 25 Dinkins, David Hubbard, L. Ron, 52-53, incorreuly praising director Sorenson, Erik
Antoinette, Marie %'urkIiig co kcep his 56-58 «I I)60 tilt movie. 14 vidi)' reading sdl-help
'. mesS of, 71 love letters out of the Hughes, John, 72-73, 75 Mehta, Sonny, I 5 books. 22
Aspin, Les, I
papeN. 26-27 Hunter, Rachel, 83 Mestres, Ricardo El Stallone, Sylvester, 68-69,
Astor, John Jacob, 48 Douglas, Kirk. S Hussein, Saddam, 80 Groovo," 20 72.85
Atwater, Lee, 80 Draper, Theodore, 77 inge, William, "7 Milken, Mike, 34 Starr, Ringo, 30, 34, 36
Bacall, Lauren, 84 Drucker, Peter, 35 In Living 24-25 Minnelli, Liza, 72 begging tør allowance from
Bacon, Francis, 70 Duke, David, ', 38-43 Irons, Jeremy, 72 Miss Saigon, 82 Pitil, 52
Baldwin, Alec, 2 .i. Kltii ( .iinova, 41 Ironweed, I'), 75 Monroe, Marilyn, 70, 74-75 Star Trek, ()
Banks, Russell, :7 555(KlatIflg with Nazi Jackson, Tito Moore, Demi, 6H Steinberg, Saul, 134
Barish. Keith, 69-75 homosexuals, 43 ('Il' rtprt'neurial (lair of, 74 Morton, Peter, 71 Sting,
bcHV IIIIddk-of-the-road, 69 celebrating Hiclers Jacksons, the, 36, 74 Murdoch, Rupert, 25 Stone, Oliver,
interpreting pre- hirehday. 42 Janowitz, Tama, IS Murphy, Eddie, 0 Stuyvesant, Peter, 8
Revolutionary French small penis of. 40 Jennings, Peter, 37 NAAWP. the, I , Styron, William, 73
nloTl;Ir( 1Ç, 71 tax liens of, 41 Johnson, Philip, I 5- I New Jack City, S Sununu, John, 88
Basinger, Kim, 70, 72 using pseudo-Muslim pen Kalikow, Peter, 2t') 2' New Republic, The, IR, 77 md mysterious Kennedy
Salman, 68-69. 73 name, 41 Katzenberg, Jeffrey 'Sparky" New York Times, The, 16, 18, connection, -6
Beatty, Warren, 6, 72 Dunne, Griffin, 30 a. introspection-tree lObO- Suzy.
Berman, AI Earl, Robert, 73-74 tX(( IItIVC," 20 '&-dcl i ng of, 44-1 Taylor, Lili, So
con1usin Martha Graham as compact Bric restaurant- Katz's Deli, 16 Nicholson, Jack, 72, 75 Teenage Mutant Ninfa Turtles
vith tarrh.i Raye, 22 chief. 71 Kelley, Kitty, i-12 Nixon, Richard, 15 Il: The Secret of the
Bernhard, Sandra, 82 Eastman, John, 29. 30. 32, 34 Kennedy, Bobby Jr. Nixon, Tricia, IS Ooze, 55
Bloom, Jake, 2 Eastman, Lee, 29. 30. 32-34, catisin lan'cr at latr)ir(Ittn1 Norton, Ed, ' Thomas, Clarence, 7, 36
Bly, Robert, 77 amusenx-n. 28 Olivier, Laurence, 74 Tigrett, Isaac, 71
Bogart, Humphrey, .0, 7 Eisenman, Peter, 15, 17 Kier, Lady Miss, 82 Onassis, Jackie, 72 Tinte, "i
Bon Jovi, Jon Eisner, Michael Kissinger, Henry Ono, Yoko, SO, 32, 34, 36 Toback, James, I 7
and aIIeiance W che possibly breaking up with delegating pet -(-are Parton, Dolly, 76, 83 Trump, Ivana, 76,84
(_,() l ( 7 Sporky, 20 rc's1,ovisihility, 28 Patric, Jason Truth or Oare, 35, 77
Brady, Nick, Elaine's, 68 Knopf, Alfred A., Inc. as 'good irïencl" (ti Bobby Tsongas, Paul
Brooks, Jim Elliot, Chris,
'
I
courting Walter Monheit, I 2 Zarem's, 72 I maginary fte-1,uint
.zrudgc-l)I)kIsng ot, 24 Ellis, Bret Easton, 15 Koch, Ed Paul Stuart, 77 Blackfooced Ferret
Burton, Tim, 69 Epstein, Jason potential San Gennaro- Phillips, Chynna and Pr"tcccion Plan of, 30
Bush, Barbara, 88 lx'ing lilleted, 19 inspired overindulgence Michelle, 77 Turnbull & Asser, 77
Bush, George, 6-7, 34, Farber, Manny, S of, 3() Piano Lesson, The, 24 Turner, Tina, '
70. St) Feshbach, Joe, Kurt and Kramden, Ralph Picasso, Pablo, 2001: A Space Odyssey, 50. 75
glandular probkms Matt, '12-58 MiIkencsue get-rich-quick Picasso, Paloma, 83 UPI, I
of. 29.88 and I 980s-style flaunting ol schemes of, 33 Podhoretz, Norman Vanity Fair,
Bush, Jonathan, 49 wealth, 56 Lancaster, Burt, 77 y .-: 1 Wagner, Robert, -
Bush, Millie, 80.88 as Operating Thetans of the Lazar, Swifty, 70 Porizkova, Paulina, 73 Washington Post, The, 22, 34
Bush, Neil, ( highest and second-highest running over his cook with a Presley, Elvis, (i-71 Wayans, Keenan Ivory, 25
Butterlield, Fox )r(lirs, S <tr. S Prince Charles, Hl Weisberg, Jacob, I
IIIn)t-r(II' l,untrs of. 18 Finnegans Wake, 76 LedZeppelin ¡II, 45 Prince Diniitri of Welles, Orson,
Caddyshack II, 60, 61 Fischer, Louis, 71 Leibovitz, Annie, 88 Yugoslavia, l-14 Westmoreland, William, 82
Canhy, Vincent, 'S Fitzwater, Marlin Leigh, Vivien, i uayle, Dan, )
Whitney, Craig,
CBS Evening News, The, 22 II( t li iiiuI
ordcrc'd to insert Lenya, Lotte, Rafferty, Terrence, 35 Whitton, Margaret, 50)
Chancy, Lon, 38 eyebrow pencil in Richard Let's Make a Deal, 74 Rather, Dan Wilkins, Fred, lU
Cher. Gephtrdt's rectum, 29 Liman, Arthur, s4 htirs' Ic'xas aphorisms of, 22 Wilkinson, Bill, il
Chemin, Peter, 24 Foley, Thomas, 82 Lindsay, John, i6 Rebel Without a Cause, 74, 75 Willis, Bruce, 68-69, 70, 71,
Clinton, Bill Forbes, Kip Little Richard, 57 Reeves, Keanu, 72-73, 75
itttcking enviro- as son of wealthy biker. 51 Lombardo, 30 Rehnquist, William, 37 almost doing "the feet
flOflSCflS('. Fox Broadcasting Company, London, Julie Ripken, Cal Jr., ?2 thing," 71
'
Coleman, Dabney, 24 21. 2S h onstruc(ing Roberts, Julia, r,-cval oat ng h is life, 20
Collins, Jackie, 60-61 Fox, Michael J., 73 tV'ake, 76 Robocop, Wilniot, Mollie, 84
Collins, Lisa, Furst, Anton, 69, 70-71, Loren, Sophia, "2-7 Rolling Stone, (a) Winkler, Henry
Come Back, Little Sheba, '' -1 -'s Los Angeles Times, the, 25. 3-i Ross, Steve \\I livun commune, 45
Costner, Kevin, ())t, 75 Gable, Clark, 74 Macklowe, Harry, 70, 73 amusing Senator Daniel Winthrop, John, 48
Crawford, Broderick Gandhi, Macpherson, Elle trouve, 13-I Witt, Katarina,
I keriI n) i rrir.ihk cocker Gass, William, 32 sLIlicrIu1 shortage ol Rushdie, Salman Wood, Natalie, I
spaniel, 64 Gates, Daryl, I S 1rPti'e mates, 72 ;i subject olsavage Bush Yeager, Chuck
Crawford, Cindy, Gates, Robert M., ;t'
Madonna, 35, 76,82 mockery, 88 ,l,S namesake for Holiday
Cronkite, Walter and Geffen, David, 1)il1lX)ar(ICd breasts of, 75 Saltzman, Elizabeth, 82 Inn's "last-minute
Betsy, Gelb, Arthur, ,I asRenaissance minstrel. 77 Sarris, Andrew, twcakin," room, 65
Crosby, Norm, 30 Gentleman's Agreement, S Mailer, Norman Scalia, Antonin, Young, Sean, 73
Culkin, Macaulay, 73 Gephardt, Richard, 2 being char.uteristically Schroeder, Patricia, I rI.tII( uIures of, 28
I Am(rI( UI urebred, 35 Gore, Al, 72 profisne. 28 Schwarzenegger, Arnold, Zahn, Paula, 22
Curry. Adam, 74 Gotti, John Maltese Falcon, The, 14. 24 68-70. 72-73, 75 Zane, Billy, MS
Dafoc, Willem, 37 l()Vablefl('SS of, 7 Mason, Jackie, f'rankness of, 71 Zarem, Bobby, 60,68-75)
Hey, uh, Dictaphone, ya hear the one about Salman Rushdie's next
book? Got this from Nick Brady. is Salman Rushdie' s--think
it was Brady--what is Salman--or maybe I told him--what is Salman
Rushdie's--no, yeah, it was Brady--what is Salman Rushdie's next
book gonna be called? Big Fat Buddha Motherfucker! Know. Know.
Nearly wet my chinos first time I--wait, here's another one, even
better. Okay: Guy. And another guy. First guy says to the other
guy, "When's the last time that you, uh, had sex?" So the second,
the second guy says, "Nineteen forty." Back to the first fella.
I-le says, "That's a long time." And the second--wait, important, the
second fella, gotta understand this now, second fella is, oh, Norm
Schwarzkopf--and he says, Schwarzkopf, "Well, it's only 2120 now."
Can ya believe it? Okay, uh, on to more historical thoughts.
Commencement speaking--sick of it. The other week--Delaware?--
gave out night-high-school-equivalentness diplomas. One of those
education-president events. Even Yale was--lot of heckling, also
from the goddamn media: "What about this Colonel Henderson?" Hey!
Not exactly Colonel Naive here, know what's going on--trying to
make me say "Skull and Bones." (Checked--we can say it to
Dictaphones.) These reporters--just the sort of people that never
woulda been tapped. I don't blame Bar for hating that they follow
us up to Kennebunkport, and all she wants is to be herself, and
so what if she wants to kiss Millie on the lips? It's a private
thing, and nobody has to make the evening news for liking it.
Gotta be candid now about the thyroid: don't know why. That Bar
has it, and Millie with the dog version--don't read too much into
that, even with the kissing and the showering together. Mostly
thinking, Got this condition. Why not develop it out into
something positive? Got a problem, make a tiny adjustment in the
medication--doctor's supervision, of course--and bingo! Castro
gets uppity, pencil in some thyroid hyperactivity, Cuba's the
51st state. "Look out, Fidel--reducing the dosage!" Might make a
pretty good campaign slogan. "Reelect Bush: he'll lower the
dose." Make a note to test that one out on Sig.
Oh, yeah--got back those contact sheets from the photo shoot
with that Leibovitz woman, and darn if Sununu isn't in almost
every one. Some of 'em you only see part of his face down low
behind a deck chair or an umbrella, but I know those cheeks.
Didn't want that to happen. Figured when I mentioned--real casual
too--that there was a big stamp auction in Sacramento that maybe
it would mean all-clear for the session, chief-of-staff-wise. But
he's too crafty for me. So Leibovitz might have to come back,
which means to heck with Bar and her khakis, I can get back into
the presidential-sweatpants mode. Oops, gotta dash. Some more
staff want to come in and tell me to dump Sununu.
GHWB: gk
July 1991
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9 EAST 16TH ST. NYC 10003 (2121 463-7101
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