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Emotional Affairs and Marriage - Why Emotional Affairs Are So Dangerous to a Marriage

Emotional Affairs and Marriage - Why Emotional Affairs Are So Dangerous to a Marriage

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Publicado porTaylor Ranidae
One of the most damaging occurrences that can take place in one’s marriage is an emotional affair. It is a tricky topic and can be confusing to many as to whether or not it really is “cheating”. Let’s take a look today at just how emotional affairs and marriage do not mix.
One of the most damaging occurrences that can take place in one’s marriage is an emotional affair. It is a tricky topic and can be confusing to many as to whether or not it really is “cheating”. Let’s take a look today at just how emotional affairs and marriage do not mix.

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Published by: Taylor Ranidae on Jul 11, 2011
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Emotional Affairs and Marriage - Why Emotional Affairs Are So Dangerous to a Marriage

One of the most damaging occurrences that can take place in one’s marriage is an emotional affair. It is a tricky topic and can be confusing to many as to whether or not it really is “cheating”. Let’s take a look today at just how emotional affairs and marriage do not mix. It is not uncommon for your spouse to have a friend of the opposite sex with whom they share a close bond. Often your spouse may have had this friend before you and they met. You may not particularly like the idea, because of the potential of it leading to something more, but you may or may not have accepted it. But perhaps your spouse has developed this type of relationship with someone since you were married. A co-worker or someone they see at the gym regularly. In today’s day and age with technology, you find they spend a great deal of time chatting or texting with this person. You may be finding yourself having thoughts you may not normally have about your spouse. Indeed, you may be having doubts as to what their intentions are for this relationship. If you find yourself in this situation, you may be experiencing a common, and normal, reaction and asking yourself, “why is he or she not pulling closer to me?” Or perhaps you are wondering, “Is talking all that they are doing?” The reason you are feeling this way is that your spouse is expending emotional energy with a person that isn’t you. They are building an intimate connection with a person outside of your relationship, and naturally you feel like that connection should be built with you. They may not yet have a physical relationship, but if your spouse has built an intimate connection with this person, then more than likely they are currently having an emotional affair. The Damage Emotional Affairs Cause to a Marriage When an emotional affair occurs between your spouse and someone else, the intimacy that exists between you and them starts to erode. The affection that should be directed to you is instead directed to their friend. They may be sharing their deepest and innermost feelings, and this forms a strong emotional connection. This also means they are probably not sharing these things with you, the person that they have pledged their life to. This can cause the foundation of your marriage to become damaged. Even if the relationship has not become physical, it is indeed a form of cheating.

Often times, couples will argue extensively over whether or not this relationship is appropriate or is indeed cheating. If find yourself in this situation, a common trademark of an emotional relationship is a lack of openness or transparency. Do they hide their screen when they chat online? Do they only talk or chat on the phone in private? These are telltale signs of an inappropriate emotional relationship. Getting the Emotional Connection Back Where it Belongs So what do you do to get your spouse to turn their attention back to you and not to someone else? To indeed intercept things before they do indeed turn physical. First, your spouse needs to own up to the fact that they are in fact involved in an inappropriate emotional relationship with a member of the opposite sex outside of your marriage. They may not even realize it has crossed a boundary, but the two of you need to discuss it open and honestly. 1. Rebuilding Your Own Emotional Connection To rebuild your own emotional connection, you need to first do an analysis of your relationship with your spouse. Has there been a breakdown in communication between the two of you? Are there signs of neglect to one another? When is the last time that you said something to each other that made you or them feel special? Whatever the answers are, it is time to put forth the effort to rebuild your emotional bond. 2. Assess All of Your Communication There are two types of communication that exist in a relationship: verbal and non-verbal. In order to have a full and completely intimate relationship, you need to have both. Verbal communication is easy…you talk to each other in a supportive and positive manner. Non-verbal is spending time together. It’s those little things you do when you are together, such as holding hands, touching each other, special looks shared together. Make a commitment to strengthen both types of communication with each other. In most cases, it is simply a matter of setting aside more time for each other. Make time each night to spend time together instead of watching TV in separate rooms. Set a weekly date night. Go grocery shopping together. 3. Be Persistent Communication tends to take time to break down, very much like erosion. Conversely, you may find that it takes time for your communication with each other to improve. Be persistent and stay the course. Your marriage and relationship could be at stake. You will probably find that you need to do things differently. Perhaps in the morning, instead of just grunting good morning without looking up from your laptop, get up and give your spouse a hug to say good morning. Look them in the eye and start the day off on a positive note.

Changes in habits that have developed over time can be difficult and will often feel awkward, but you will find that by staying persistent and determined, you and your spouse will begin to develop that emotional bound that you shared when the two of you took your vows in the first place. These are just a few quick suggestions to help you through emotional affairs and marriage. Whether you are experiencing a cheating spouse or are afraid that it could occur, to restore the trust and save your marriage from divorce I strongly recommend for you to download the 7-Part Survive an Affair course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant access: http://www.marriage-sherpa.info. Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship.

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