So as I was telling you not a moment ago, Miss Dewinkle, not a moment ago said the surly old

fellow, shifting with great importance in his armchair to find a more comfortable position while clasping fat fingers together the business began as a result of my inspiration, my entirely organic inspiration Some have alleged that it was not so organic, I said questioningly, looking up from my notes. Somepfawfuddle them, theyre a buncha soggy liars, he said viciously, going from a boardroom drawl, no doubt perfected from years on golf courses, to his more infamousand far more authentic, I thoughtvoice, a blend of a stereotypical Chicago gangsters voice and that of a backwoods lumberjack. Appropriate, I supposed, considering what he had told me for Part 1 of the book his mother was from Minnesota and his father from Illinois. But that was really common knowledge. It was on Wikipedia, after all. Iuhshould I make a note of how you react to those accusations? Not necessary, no, he said, relaxing into his default drawl. I thought this was to be a special on my life and times, not some sort of...sensational cover piece. We hold ourselves up to the highest standard of journalism, I said coolly. I could feel hairs bristling on my neck of their own accord. I trust that you know we do not run sensational cover pieces. I looked down to the recorder, still blinking red, and realized that perhaps I should have turned it offjust in case my boss wanted to hear tapes and criticized me for getting indignant. I didnt think it carried through in my voice, and Mr. Jeck didnt appear to be offended by my defensivenesshe actually settled down into the armchair with a flabby smile, as though relishing my words. Well then, shall we go back to the inspiration for your business model? I asked, twiddling my pen. Id already collected about a page of shorthand about his early life, but there were still no gemsnothing mildly controversial or previously unknownin other words, nothing that would justify the price wed paid for a sitdown interview and exclusive rights.

Indeed, he said tonelessly. It all began a little over a decade ago, when I decided that many basic services and products we provide using great manpower retailing of clothes, for instance, or the sale of hotel roomscan be done easily using a technique we already knew had been used to great success with foodthe vending machine. Why not vend clothes out just as you would vend a Snickers bar? Why not create an all-inclusive vending machine, that would sell hotel rooms as cardkeys, rental cars, clothing, et ceteraall without the need to employ people. We placed test versions of these vending machines at train stations, at airports, malls, schoolsanywhere people congregate. And they took off. Do you regret that you are credited, by some estimates, for putting upwards of 20,000 people in the service industry out of work? Including a woman just trying to get a daughter through college, who happened to be my mother? I dont look at this invention as a put-people-out-of-work sort of thing. I look at it as an efficiency thing. I look at it as progress. Sure, you can say penicillin put a lot of bacteria out of work Are you equating the VendAll system with penicillin? Are you equating my mom with bacteria, you *******? I didnt even think of a swearword, I was so shocked. I just thought of asterisks...and scribbled furiously. Boy was I going to quote him on this one. I wouldnt say quite that much, he said smugly, but you do realize that before we came along, purchasing used to be a dreadful ordeal of waiting in line, having to grab things off shelves, waiting for slow cashiers to hand you your receiptsurely you wouldnt want to go back to those days, now would you, Miss Dewinkle? Days when people actually had the muscle to grab things off shelves? Im tempted, I thought, but I maintained at least a modicum of professional objectivity. I can see that youre not regretful, I said, my face still, but your thencolleague and cofounder, Jacqueline Wasserman, doesnt seem to feel the same way. Aw, Jackie was always a heart-on-her-sleeve type, he growled. You know women... he paused, seemingly having just realized I was one. Andyou

know with a great heaving effort, he leaned in toward me, to whisper confidentially, I think she did the whole I hate VendAll thing to gain publicity. She wrote a book. This was still going nowhere. Hed said much the same to a thousand other news organizations. And our hour was running out (much as I loved the thought of the end of our interview, I dreaded the idea of facing my boss with nothing new, interesting, or excitingnothing that would even slightly necessitate a cover story). Maybe I could pursue the Jackie Wasserman part. Indeed, I said dryly, and pulled it out of my purse, showing it to him. Vended: Insights and Regrets from a Life in Business. She was quite harsh on VendAll as a company, overall, wasnt she? She resigned her board position a day before the book came out. Do you feel in any way betrayed by her actions? What, by her actions? No, no...she has some kids, probably wanted an easy way out of business to get back in the kitchen and still keep another kinda dough. He chuckled like he had just made an insanely funny joke. Easy way out of business to get back in the kitchen? I repeated, as though not sure Id heard him correctly. I would probably rewind the tapes just to make sure. Yeah, what did you think I said? Just confirming, I said, and scribbled furiously. Combined with the comparing VendAll to penicillin, this outrageous statement might just ruffle some feathers. Whether it would make a substantial article was another question entirely. What makes you think she wants to get back in the kitchen? Oh, you know, he said, waving his hand. Shes got to like to cookshes on the plump side. He laughed. No offense to her or anything, but the girl is not exactly Miss Beach Body, is she? UTTER DISREGARD FOR PROFESSIONAL SOBRIETY. CHAUVINISTIC TREATMENT OF LONGTIME COLLEAGUE. (Or, if I were writing for the Onion: SLIGHTLY PLUMP WOMAN CALLED FAT BY WAY FATTER MAN.) I could

already see this making headlines. I almost had to stop the train wreck that was Mr. Jeck in an interview. Half of me wanted him to keep spouting nonsense. Do you think thats really relevant, Mr. Jeck? What professionals look like? I asked incredulously. Oh, I think it matters for girls, he said sonorously. How are you going to get hired if you dont have the looks? But Mr. Jeckisnt this against certain laws? I asked, flabbergasted. Could one man really be this stupid? At this point I no longer needed to worry about a story. A story had found me. Is thisis this really the message you want young girls, interested in a career in business, to walk away with? Work the looks, not the books? Oh, no, thats not the message, he said, and I nodded, slightly relievedI knew such idiocy, even from someone like Jeck, couldnt really be possible. No, the message is that girls can try and make themselves look betteryou know, work off the pounds, wear makeup, pretty clothesand get hired that way. Selfempowerment, you know? I would have collapsed on the floor in laughter, clutching my pen in hand, if the recorder didnt die and Mr. Jeck didnt look at his watch with a bored glance and say, Well, I think our time is up. I will look forward to the article. Ohbelieve meI will too, I said, biting my lip to keep from laughing. He looked at me with a strange expression, shook my hand, and strode out of the room, an imprint still remaining on the plush of his armchair from where hed sat. He was a fat man. I stayed in the office, finished off writing notes (reminding myself to contact Jackie Wasserman for her reaction to Bob Jecks commentsand maybe someone from a womens advocacy organization tooand think of suitable headlines for what I was sure would be a bombshell article) and collected my notes and recorder to stuff in the dossier.

Funny, I had to think with a vengeful little smile, that the man who had cheated my mother out of a job wasperhapsjust about to be unseated by her daughter.