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* [[Tropers/AgentKaz This troper]] when she was young and foolish made not only Sailor Earth, Sailor

Sun, Sailor Nemesis, and Sailor X, but a group of Pokemon-themed senshi such as Sailor Jigglypuff and Sailor Pikachu who could turn into Pokemon. I've actually kept Sailor X around and turned her into some weird cyborg-thing. Just for funsies. But my worst infraction was a fanfic I wrote after I found someone else had a Sailor Sun character. I had it turn out that that Sailor Sun was a "decoy" and mine was the real one, so the other one got pissed and went to the "evil" side led by a possessing demon named... ready for this? Possessor. * I decided to make a Sailor Moon fancharacter just for fun once. So I present to you Hoshino Sakura, a.k.a Sailor Star Revealer, the fourth member of the Sailor Starlights. The other three (and the other Senshi period) know nothing of her existence, and rather than being a "warrior of love and justice" like most of the other Senshi, while technically one of the good guys, she is pretty damn ruthless and wouldn't be averse to killing someone if they tried to get in her way, whether they were human or otherwise. She has "nature" as a theme for her attacks, able to create vines from her body or from the ground nearby, and her single named attack, Star Fatal Attraction, involves her throwing a disc of light through her enemy, which then flies above them and explodes in a damaging shower of stars. She has a very "lone wolf"-ish personality and almost Saiyan-like pride; she would rather die than lose a fight. I doubt even Usagi would be able to melt her icy demeanour. * When this troper was three to four years old and lived in Japan and watched Sailor Moon, she used to imagine a character named Sailor Earth (yes, literally) who more or less represented her, except a thousand times cooler. She wore yellow fuku with a purple button and looked like Ami except with black hair and green eyes. I had no idea what sex was at the time, and had her be tortured instead to fill out the kinkiness that would totally corrupt my mind at a later time (IE. Sexual Endeavors of a Gay, Het or Lesbian Nature). As you can already tell, she was a total PuritySue who often turned out to be the actual heroine, learned by the Senshi tearfully after she had been saved by them after she'd been unjustly tortured by the enemy. I also often paired her up with either Sailor Moon or Jupiter at the time, since they were my favorite characters (also because I liked to pair said canon Senshi up together after watching Beryl zap Jupiter constantly when she begged her to stop controlling Sailor Moon's mind in one episode. Yes I was a YuriFangirl at that age and neither the pairing or the characters are my favorites for the series now). ** Same troper here, but... Actually, one should probably try to find a little girl who watched Sailor Moon and ''didn't'' create Sailor Earth in her head. I'm sure it was quite a popular thing to do. * Flyboy254: Oy, I'm so guilty of this one. Even worse, I used ''Molly''! ** Well, that's not ''so'' bad. You'd be surprised at how many people choose to make Molly/Naru a Senshi. *** Apparently, Naoko herself said that if Mamoru didn't exist, Naru would have become Sailor Earth. *** And adding in a character that led the Moon Kingdom's "military"?

* This troper never created a Sailor Earth or Sun...no, she made Sailor Star. And Star was a horrendous MarySue who was Rini's newest and best friend, served as surrogate little sister to the rest of the Scouts, and...well, you get the picture. Her only redeeming quality was that her attack was [[SailorMoonAbridged fairly useless.]] This troper eventually reworked her into Sailor Polaris, then Sailor NorthStar, and then finally went with including her (now no longer a Sue) in her ElsewhereFic--giving her a new name too, thank God. * Ok, so ThisTroper, known as Tropers/YouMustDie, is part of a roleplaying universe on www.gamingsteve.com/blab (the galaxy is called Origin.) We've got a bunch of alien planets. Cue Makl Malili (Sailor Kuuruk) Laria Tuvolfs (Sailor Perrawiih), etc... * [[Tropers/{{Burstkiller}} This Troper]] made a [[GirlishPigtails Sailor]] [[TropeNamer Earth]] ([[CaptainObvious Naturally]]), [[RedheadedHero Sailor]] [[ThePowerOfTheSun Sunfire]], a [[TokenMinority Sailor]] [[LightTheWay Supernova]], a [[{{Meganekko}} Sailor]] [[BladeOnAStick Sirius]] that was a old friend of Venus, a set of Planetary Senshi successors (led by Chibimoon and a [[DidNotDoTheResearch sister of]] Chibimoon who was ''not'' the AU Kousagi) who motifs were [[FanficChopSuey mis-mashed]] with that of PowerRangersZeo, plus ''their'' children and a pack of Sailor Zodiacs. No, this troper was [[{{Ptitle1fqxgbbvavmd}} not on something]] when [[MostFanficWritersAreGirls he]] made them at age 14. Not wanting to abandon them, many of them are getting retooled as [=OCs=] for original work or less Suetiful versions of themselves. * A ThisTimeRound ''Series/DoctorWho'' fanfic has recast some of our favourite companions as Sailor Gallifrey (Susan) Sailor Traken (Nyssa), Sailor Sevateem (Leela) and Sailor Wheel In Space (Zoe). After that it gets ''silly''... ---[[AC:Non-SailorMoon Examples]] * [[Tropers/SabrinaDiamond This troper]]: I have a rather unusual 'problem' with my character. In my friend's fanfic, my original character convientally [[ReplacementGoldfish replaces]] magician Warlic's assistant from DragonFable, thus Nythera doesn't really exist in TheVerse of the fanfiction, lol. Hence Nythera ironically [[spoiler:never poisoned Warlic.]] xD * In one case, [[Tropers/SladeJT this troper]] was waiting for others of her roleplay group to show up when the self-proclaimed third twin brother of {{Mario}} burst into Bowser's castle and informed Kamek, one of the oldest enemies of the Mario Brothers, that he wanted to join the Koopa Troop. To this day, I am not sure whether this was a case of DidNotDoTheResearch or TheyJustDidntCare. Similar moments occured in Sonic roleplays and others that the troper would rather purge from her mind. * This troper has done it numerous times as a little kid, and most recently with a "Beyond XIV" Organization. And basically, only they were the ones who weren't off-screen 90% of the time, because with a few exceptions, they were all the lowest-ranked nobodies dispatched to do the dirty work. Yes I put one of my OCs pretty high up on the ladder (No higher than Sax, the "second in command", or numbers two

and three, Xigbar and Xaldin) mostly cause he was a good schmoozer and was pretty much mostly present to babysit the newer and lower-ranked stuff. And to top it off...there was often a division between the "Newer" members and the "Originals". The "Newer" members saw the originals as "Sycophants", "elitists", and "suck-ups" while the "Originals" saw the "Newer" members as "Lazy" and "{{Scrubs}}". (Since many of them weren't all "The Organization is SeriousBusiness!) ** The "Beyond XIV" people also had their own divisions...Rhaex was obviously the supposed "leader" of the lower ranked ones while Xanit appeared to be TheDragon. However, it's later revealed that Maxine is really TheDragon. * Regarding the FullmetalAlchemist example, this Troper once had the idea of writing a fanfiction with new Homunculi using the opposite of the Seven Deadly sins (at least in Catholicism, I can't speak for Protestants), the Seven Virtues or whatever they're called, which would be controlled by some sort of KnightTemplar character (he/she would think s/he was doing good, so why not use "good" names?) This could also maybe be done with the original Homunculi (with the Seven Deadly sins names) because they are shown to have a bit of TheNthDoctor going on (more so in the anime, but still). * [[Tropers/AXavierB This troper]] was singing the English ''SailorMoon'' theme song. After hearing this troper listing off the Sailor Scouts' names, this troper's nine-year-old brother (who isn't familiar with ''Sailor Moon'' aside from a couple ''[[SailorMoonAbridged SMA]]'' episodes I made him watch) came up to him and said there must be a Sailor Earth if every other planet had a Sailor Scout. * I once wrote a fic for a Silver Titanus Ranger. * FarseerLolotea, at the age of thirteen, wrote a SailorEarth for ''ThePiratesOfDarkWater''. Luckily, the story never made it onto the Interwebs, and the hardcopy has long since vanished into obscurity. * Just like Sailor Star Revealer (above), I also made a DBZ fancharacter just for fun. Named Tenya (pronounced TAYN-ya - yes, my characters' names have odd pronunciations), he's a Saiyan (about Future Trunks's age) of the traditional sort; i.e. a bad guy who kills people for fun. He can go Super Saiyan, but he has to push himself quite a bit to get to it. He's no relation to Goku, Raditz, or any of the other known Saiyans, he's just another Saiyan that none of them knew about. If you're wondering why he hasn't already blown up the world and killed all who dwell within, it's because, fortunately (and bizarrely), he acquired a taste for Earth cuisine, and also he's incredibly lazy. He also has the power to MindControl others, because it's fun, and he tends to use that power to "play" with humans when he gets bored (which usually involves making them kill each other). * [[{{Tropers/Gigaspine7}} This troper]] has two such [[SuperMarioBros Mario]] OCs serving in the Koopa Troop, a Spiny and a Buzzy Beetle named... [[ShapedLikeItself Spiny and Buzzy]]. He chose to actually go through with these two specifically to avoid directly being able to muck with what little continuity the Mario series has, since these two species don't have many named characters to their merit. A much better example is one he chooses to [[MarySue purge from his memory]] [[DisContinuity often if it]] [[OldShame ever resurfaces.]]

* [[{{Tropers/AmuroNT1}} This troper]]'s friend tends to make horrible MarySue characters, but he does give her bonus points for humor. While her ''{{Yu-Gi-Oh}}'' character did have the Eighth Millennium Item, her past self was the personal chef of the Millennium Items' creator (whom she identified as an avid gourmand), meaning her Item was the Millennium ''Eggbeater''. * [[{{Tropers/Somerandomdude}} This troper]] once had an idea for a Bleach fanfic which introduced a seated officer from Squad 10 with an electric zanpakuto. [[YourMileageMayVary Unfortunately]], it never got off the ground, due to three main problems: 1) couldn't think of a name, 2) couldn't really figure out how to effectively write shonen fight scenes with mere words, and 3) my actual knowledge about the show was minimal at the time, only having read it up through about halfway through the Hueco Mundo arc. * [[{{Tropers/Luna87}} This troper]] is fond of drawing FairlyOddparents fanart, especially based on the "Big Superhero Wish" episode. Because Tootie (one of my favorite characters) wasn't given an superhero identity in that episode, I draw her as a faux-Sailor Scout, whom I dubbed Sailor Earth (before I knew about this trope, thank you very much). * When me and my friend were younger we had the following exchange: Me-"So I've invented a new character that joins the Gorillaz, whose a supersoldier like Noodle and also her best friend, who has cool powers, her and 2D fall in love, and she is adored by all of them, even Murdoc!" Friend-"That sounds awesome! Does this story have a part where the new girl murders the author?". That idea is a constant source of embarrasment to me... * This troper created a SailorEarth series, of sorts, for {{Pokemon}}. She wasn't done much with it yet, although the player character guy is in a roleplay she's in. * This [[Tropers/SailorEnlil troper's]] current internet handle is named after the Sumarian God of Earth after being a Zechariah Sitchin reader (the author's works were quite amazing research works into MesopotamianMythology), plus being an anime fan... * This troper had a Commander Earth. She was one of the the [[Pokemon Team Galactic]] bad guys, though. She was a spy or something, and was also dating Commander Saturn. Fortunately, I never wrote any of this down. * This troper was a huge fan of ''PrincessGwenevereAndTheJewelRiders'' as a little girl, and once wrote her own story featuring a gypsy named Valda, who possessed the purple Star Stone. Her bonded animal was a large swan named Rainbowdream, and the Star Stone was capable of bringing inanimate objects to life. She wrote it on paper, and it got thrown away when she was 14. It was really badly written. * When this troper was thirteen, she made a XiaolinShowdown SailorEarth who controlled the 'element' of...wait for it...''flowers.'' Fecking '''flowers.''' ** This Troper made two OC's of Xiaolin Showdown, one for Wood and Metal respectivly. This Troper happens to do this to any fandom (these 'Earth Stories' arn't for the world to see, just for my own amusment * Back when [[Tropers/CaptHayfever this captain]] was very little, he designed a backup PowerRangers team for himself & some friends. They

were purple, brown, silver, orange, and white. At the time, none of those colors had been used by a canonical Ranger; now, only brown remains. * This troper wrote a {{Gargoyles}} fanfic about an Avalon-raised gargoyle. The Sueish part was having been the Magus' apprentice. * This troper remembers making 8 new Robot Masters: Watt Man (shoots steam), Raptor Woman (has a dromaeosaur theme and shoots talons), Dragon Man (you should know this), Boost Woman (wind-themed), Swarm Man (nanites), Fetter Woman (attacks with chains), Mammoth Man (shoots missiles), and Dozer Woman (shovel claws). This wasn't that long ago, actually. * When ThisTroper was in middle school, there was a boy who thought he was the Orange Ranger. When the the sixth-grade kids beat up on him, he actually talked to his watch, trying to summon the other Power Rangers. That bad rep lasted with him until high school, with most of us thinking ''Can't Tommy just go evil again and kill this loser?'' ** The fact that he was in middle school and ''honestly'' believed himself to be a Sailor Earth and tried to summon ''fictional characters'' for help when he was being beaten up sounds like he was either very lonely, or had mental disabilities. [[DudeNotFunny Which, to me, just sucks the funny right out of that story.]] * When this troper was in elementary school he created a Purple Ranger. To this date he's still not really sure what dinosaur he choose for it. * This troper is guilty of having many of their OriginalCharacters be Sailor Earths. They're almost all MarySue by default though, and I rarely let them outside of my daydreams, or sketches. Luckily I'm 14 so I hope I'll outgrow this soon. However, it's useful at times, I'm in the AxisPowersHetalia fandom and creating OCs for [[AnthropomorphicPersonification countries]] that haven't appeared yet has caused me to heavily research them. I now know 20 useless facts of India, Mexico, Peru, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, and Cornwall, each. Just to give my characters some [[FlatCharacter flat]], MarySue traits. * This troper had a character when he was 7 or 8 who was a blatant expy of ness and a huge gary stu and was extremely overpowered He is very much an [[OldShame old shame]] * I have made a few Sailor Earth characters, but not that many.....Until I became a fan of JoJosBizarreAdventure. Mostly because making SailorEarth's for that series is just so damn FUN, and they don't feel like they are interfiering with the Cannon due to the general ease people can get stands. (This troper is shocked that there are only about 20 JoJo fics on Fanfiction.net given the huge fanfiction potential for the series) I have created the stands [[strike: Sympathy For The Devil]] Renamed to Master of Puppets (Creates golems out of nearby materials, which was agumented by it's second ability that had the Stand latch itself onto a person's brain, and make them see the golems as people they know) Killer7 (Animal Assimilation/Fusion), IronMaiden (Metal Liquefaction and Reformation), A Stand that could manipulate Light and Darkness that I haven't thought of a name of (Whispers in the Dark and [[MichaelJackson Black and White]] are being considered. The user was actually supposed to be

a female Stone Mask Vampire. Her Stand basically made her immune to sunlight, as she would just create darkness around her and absorb the sunlight into her stand), [[PinkFloyd Welcome to the Machine]] (Converts flesh organisms into machines), Spirit of Radio (Soundwave manipulation) and Black Hole Sun (Gravity Manipulation). {{Emperordaein}} * [[Tropers/VF1SValkyrie This troper]] is now [[OldShame rather embarrassed]] about the amount of thought he put into making a character for RoninWarriors. * I have thought of a couple of [[JojosBizarreAdventure stand]] ideas, mostly for a JJBA/Medaka Box crossover I'm thinking of writing. The stands are: Black and White (Negates any one action the user is aware of.), Ninety-nine Balloons (Switches the souls of two people.), Pastime Paradise (Rewinds up to ten seconds of time.), Teen Spirit (Turns one humanoid creature into another humanoid creature. This actually sees use.), Nirvana (Lets user travel to alternate dimensions.), Freebird (Gives user complete and perfect understanding of all mathematics.), Fame Monster (Erases people's memories of specific people.), Chemical Romance (Creates any medicine or potion the user wants.), Bad Romance (Strengthens or weakens people's emotions.). My most important one is Total Eclipse of the Heart (or Total Eclipse, for short). It copies and completely masters any stand ability it witnesses. And yes, it ''is'' meant to be horrifically broken. It only sees use in one, minor, fight, if that makes it any better. * This troper has a fanfic out (''FullmetalAlchemist'', if you're wondering) in which the main character is an eighth homunculus, and Envy even lampshades the fact that there seemed to be no need for an eighth deadly sin. As it turns out, [[spoiler: Vengeance is really something of a "backup" homunculus for Wrath or Envy, depending on who gets dropped first]], and she's treated with little importance by the others. To keep her out of SympathySue territory, she happens to be quite the [[{{Revenge}} vindictive]] {{Jerkass}}, and is the story's official ButtMonkey to boot. [[spoiler: of course, Dante's real reason for adding another homunculus is just the idea of making another living doll and playing God - which, in theory, is meant to be creepy]]. * This troper is working on a ''[[{{YuGiOh}} Yu-GiOh!]]''/''CardcaptorSakura'' fic that deconstructs the idea. The BigBad is trying to create an eighth Millennium Item for his nefarious purposes, but since all he has to go on are a few surviving scraps of the spell used to create them, it isn't exactly going very well. One thing he does know, however, is that creating an Item [[spoiler: requires human sacrifices,]] and he isn't shy about carrying that part out. And when Bakura finds out what he's up to, he is ''[[BerserkButton not]] [[ItsPersonal happy]]''. * [[Tropers/SirPsychoSexy I]] had a YuYuHakusho fic where I sent Mitarai to Germany as an exchange student about a year or so after the series, and his finding that [[TokyoIsTheCenterOfTheUniverse due to the growth of the tunnel]], [[SubvertedTrope Japan isn't the only country with psychics anymore]]- some of his new classmates in Berlin are as well. It's a DeadFic now because I feel for all the interesting

places I could have taken it, it's still kind of CanonDefilement and [[AuthorAppeal pandering to my own interest in both Japanese and German culture]]. However, two of the OC's he got stuck on got ReTooled as ([[PlotRelevantAgeUp older than they were originally]]) normal humans (ironically, German exchange students to the United States!) as characters in his [=NaNo=] novel [[Literature/MillsCollegeAnimeClub]]. ---No way man! '''MY''' SailorEarth is the only one that matters! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SamuelLJackson * Recognizing SamuelLJackson as the person talking about his role in StarWars Episodes II and III earned This Troper a free pass to see Episode III in a special screening the night before the official release.

SandInMyEyes * I often have moments where it seems like one might cry where I actually ''do'' have something in my eye. Also a weird example, someone thought I was crying when my eyes weren't even watery. ** Similarly, my eyes get all teared up whenever I yawn (yes, really. Unfortunately). Actually trying to explain this just makes it look like I'm horrendous at coming up with excuses. *** That happens to you too? I thought I was the only one. What's the deal with that? Is it like, something for sleep? Whenever I yawn, people always see tears and they ask me if I'm okay. So I have to go through a whole process of "NO, I'm fine, it's just this thing that happens when I yawn." When I can't explain it, they always just go , 'Yeah, sure...'. Ironically, now whenever I start to cry I usually yawn first. *** It's a result of the squeezing of tear ducts when one contorts one's face when gearing up to yawn. *** This happens to me as well, fortunately no one has seen me when this happens. ** This happens whenever I drink a ''really'' carbonated drink, like Ginger Ale, or Coco Cola *** [[{{CompletelyMissingthePoint}} Ginger Ale is carbonated?]] * After this troper's friend surgery to remove a cancerous tumor was sucessful, this troper justified his tears of happiness as "it's raining." Another friend pointed out we were inside a hospital. This troper replied, Roy Mustang like, "Shut up. It's raining." * This troper spent two years with an ingrowing eyelash that kept growing back. When you don't want to admit how easily {{Tear Jerker}}s affect you, it's handy to have a genuine note from your doctor... * RealLife subversion: This troper's girlfriend caught him "crying" during the [[{{Narm}} narmy]] break up scene in ''{{Film/Spider-Man}} 3''. Although she chalked the explanation up to this trope, in truth this troper's contacts picked the worst time to start to be a pain in

the eye. To be fair, I do admit those are real tears at the final scene during ''ForrestGump''. * Something like that happened to this troper...it was the last day of camp, and everyone was saying their goodbyes, and getting ready to go home...and this troper was sobbing her eyes out. Pretty much everybody automatically assumed that she was crying because she was sad about going home and leaving her friends...the truth was, while this did make her quite sad, she was actually sobbing because, due to a mixup involving contact cleaner (there was some enzyme in it that her eyes weren't used to), and the fact that she'd actually slept in her contacts the night before in an effort to get ready more efficiently in the morning, she had effectively skinned one of her eyeballs, and was actually tearing up because of how bad it hurt. Seriously...it was bright red. * Last year my brother was a soldier. During the Soldier Memorial day at school, we were watching a play about someone who lost their soldier brother to war. My eye teared up due to allergies, and afterwards my teacher came up to me and gave me a huge hug. I've never explained it, but it's technically a subversion. * This troper is famous among her circle of friends for never crying during movies. During the final few minutes of the movie Rent, when all of my friends are in tears, she sniffed. Cue their reaction: "IS SHE CRYING?!" The truth? She had a cold. * Inverted in [[{{Tropers/Pinkbaron}} this troper's]] case. Her English class was watching MonstersInc, and a friend of hers mistook allergies for tears. * Odd example for [[{{Tropers/Dinru}} this troper]]. Someone was making fun of her for her many odd phobias. She isn't normally fazed by that kind of thing, but the person picking on her didn't know that. However, she had applied sunscreen with her pointer fingers earlier that day, and then her eyes itched... She started tearing up like crazy, and she forced sobs to try and get more tears out. The dude making fun of her didn't realize this and thought he'd won. She just decided to let it be. That guy's a JerkAss anyway. * This lurker watched the end of Azumanga Daioh with two male friends. He was the only one who didn't claim to have something in his eye - he cried openly. * Completely averted when I went to my grandma's viewing. [[TearJerker I just kept bawling my eyes out]]. * A subversion for this troper. In first grade she had really bad eye allergies and always looked like she was crying. Cue concerned teachers asking if she was all right repeatedly. * [[Tropers/MisterAlways This troper]] once had to drop his girlfriend off at an airport because she was moving to Russia. A friend was with him - for some strange reason you could watch the plains take off outside, which is what we did. Cue the following conversation: --> Friend: Sucks that she's leaving, no? --> Troper: Yes. --> Friend: ... D' ya hope she'll come back? --> Troper: No. --> Friend: You're crying. --> Troper: You're full of shit.

--> Friend: You can admit to crying. --> Troper: Shut up, you gigantic douche-o-phile... It's raining. ** ( For the record, it WAS raining, but I was also crying.) * ThisTroper was having a problem with his contacts while riding the subway, and the guy in the next seat tried to comfort him with "It's alright, buddy. This too will pass." Nice, for a random guy, but misapplied. * This troper once got sand (well, dust or whatever the cars were kicking up) in her eyes walking alongside a dusty road. She had to call her mother to pick her up and whisk her to a pharmacy because she could barely see. * Played completely and utterly straight in [[Tropers/TheTallOne my case]]. I never cry, and when I do, I feel compelled to [[BlatantLies lie]] about it. * [[{{Tropers/Takwin}} This troper]] once had such an episode at a pop-rock concert a few years ago. The music was blaring so loud that nobody could think, and when I bent my head to cry (the reason why is irrelevant,) I told my friends that the noise was giving me a headache. * This troper, who has near non-nonexistant self - esteem, on the day when for the first time in my entire life, someone other than my mother told them they were pretty. * This Troper has terrible pollen allergies that make her eyes red, itchy, and watery, makes her nose all congested (so she sniffs a lot and her voice sounds funny) and makes her face puffy. It doesn't help that she has bad aim with eye drops, so she looks like she's perpetually crying, about to cry, or just finished crying from about March to July. She has repeatedly had teachers asking her if something was wrong or if she was alright. She liked to reply with "No, it's fine, I just went outside today". * When [[Tropers/FalseDawn this troper]] went to see Toy Story Three with her friends, afterwards ALL of the girls, staring at our shoes, muttered something about needing the bathroom and fled from the group. Almost every girl in the whole cinema was there, at the mirrors, trying to fix their makeup after blubbing for the last twenty minutes. * Subverted with this troper, I cannot cry as an emotional response. My eyes can water and often do following a yawn, in some cases quite profusely. However, I've not properly cried in well over half a decade. I turn 19 next month so I guess I'm ahead of the curve. * This troper's grandfather often sniffles through movies, then declares that it's just drafty in the room. * When [[{{Theoneyoucallwe}} I ]] completed [[{{HaloReach}} Halo: Reach]] campaign I could feel tears running down my face. However, my voice hadn't cracked into that "WHY GOD WHY *SOB" tone, so I could pretend that I was ''not'' crying and, thankfully, the two guys I was playing with did not bring attention to said tears. [[{{SuspiciouslySpecificDenial}} I'm not crying, I've just got...]] [[{{SandinMyEyes}} er, ragweed in my eyes! *silent sob*]] ** The ending of [[{{Halo}} Halo 3]] was almost as bad. We need you awake ''now,'' Chief! D': * My mom is allergic to partially everything, and obviously 'cold temperatures' is part of the deal. We went to Rome in winter some time

ago and we took the bus. Since it was freezing, my mom's eyes got irritated, looking like she was crying. Then, this old lady felt sorry for her, and thinking she'd been through something ugly, gave me (by that time I looked like I was 12, [[OlderThanTheyLook but in fact was 15)]] her seat and started to confort my mom, who just nodded the whole time. In hindsight, it's actually pretty funny... * Once, this troper was called to the office at school and informed that her grandmother had died. On her way back to class to get her things to go home, she happened to [[{{Blatant Lies}} have something in her eye]]. She was sort of embarassed about this, since she has a reputation for never crying. At that point, another student that she had never met walked over, put a hand on her shoulder, and said, "[[FullMetalAlchemist It's a terrible day for rain]], isn't it?" and then walked away. Whoever this person was...thank you. * Once in my high school, since I have (mild) cerebral palsy, I had needed to use the elevator to get around the school (otherwise I'd be late for every single class - I can walk, it just takes forever to get up stairs). So, one time while I was going to use the elevator to get to my next class after my lunch period, one of the staff who didn't know me assumed that I wasn't allowed to use the elevator. So, she didn't let me on it, which made me late for my next class (and the one after that since I had to go to the office to explain). Normally, I never ever cry about anything. So, then (since I'm a big worrier for being late and our high school had big penalties for that *and* I'd never been late before ever - now that I think about it, it might seem like a terrible reason to cry about) I had broken down crying in one of my classes (where I was good friends with everyone in it including the teacher), and my teacher leaned down in front of my seat while I was crying to ask what was wrong, excused me from the class and everyone condemned the actions of the other staff member. I have to thank said teacher since she lifted my mood that day (which really wasn't that great of a day either) and I remember her going to the office to complain herself about my treatment that day, too. * This Troper used to never cry. As in NEVER. However on the few occasions that I have bawled because of sadness, I lied about it. To my dismay since that first episode my walls have been slowly coming down and now it's harder to prevent myself from crying. Mostly though I find that I don't cry becasue I'm sad, I cry when I'm upset. Enemies beware; tears=RUN FOR YOUR LIFE because you have about five good seconds and if a friend doesn't calm me down in that amount of time...well, sucks for you. Now when my eyes water from allergies cue everyone and their mother going "OMG, WHO ARE YOU MAD AT?!". ---I'm fine, I just have [[SandInMyEyes something in my eye]]... so that's where Carmen Sandiego is. <<|TroperTales|>>

SanityHasAdvantages * [[StarePris ThisTroper]] is the token sane person among most of his internet friends. * Currently [[PaulPower I'm]] doing a LetsPlay of the Hard Campaign of AdvanceWars 2. One thing I've noticed so far is that there are several missions where I would not have won if it wasn't for ArtificialStupidity. A human player in the AI's position would have, if not outright crushed me, at least done things that would have cost me the mission (like damaging a crucial capturing infantry on a timed lab mission). But because of flaws in the AI, it isn't "sane" enough to spot these things and I've been able to pull through. So even though the AI always seem to outgun you, you biggest advantage is that you're sane - or at least, sane enough for AW. I imagine it's the same for any game where you're competing against an AI. ** Generally this is intentional. Many games these days have a setting where you can turn off the artifical stupidity of the AI, or at least tune it way down, and it makes levels where you're severely outgunned flat out impossible. When you've got a tiny base to your enemies huge one, and they have five times your income, you can't win without artificial stupidity. * As ThisTroper has spent time in a psychiatric hospital... yeah, I think I can safely say that SanityHasAdvantages. Like not wanting to kill yourself, and a reduced chance of being ''locked up against your will despite not having committed any crime'' (go read the rules for sectioning people, that stuff is crazy, no pun intended). ThisTroper didn't get sectioned, but you will be amazed who they will pull that shit on - it's not just people who are actually dangerous. Or, they threaten to pull that shit on you, so your choices are to go into hospital 'voluntarily' for probably about a week or involuntarily for six months. * I'm the most pragmatic people I know, and I'll point out flaws in ridiculous excuses and ideas in seconds, to get the same result with a much simpler plan. What's ironic about this is that I'm pretty insane most of the time, and my pragmatism, I think, is just a form of my sociopathy. ---ersjfdhgfsdzhdxdjsdfhbcdxdjfcn,xnfcgtxjf[[SanityHasAdvantages gfjucfjcu]]fvgifjjjdhvyunckfjucfghvuncjbvfyuvjcfvfbghvufhjf Go back to SanityHasAdvantages, please. <<|TroperTales|>>

SantaClausmas * This troper's family consists of two atheists, an agnostic (me), and my sister, who doesn't appear to care about religion at all (so I guess that makes her a different variety of agnostic). We still

enthusiastically celebrate Christmas, but in a completely secular way. Mostly this is because both my parents were raised in Christian families; also, we like presents, junk food, and time off from work/school. We do the same thing with Easter, which could be easily renamed Egg Hunt Day in our household. * subverted by this Troper's family as Christmas is actually one of the few times of year we will do things like go to church, say grace or even mention Jesus * My family celebrates holidays like Christmas and Easter, even though we are all atheists, we celebrate them cause almost everyone else in the country does, and it is fun, you get to buy presents for people and get presents and the family gets together.

SarcasmFailure * This trope happened to me once. My mate and I were trying to see who is the biggest DeadpanSnarker, and at some point I couldn't come up with a witty inflammatory comeback, so I just punched him in the face. * [[Tropers/{{Fishsicles}} This troper]] is a frequent victim, most notably brought about by [[NoodleIncident that which will not be named]], KaizoMarioWorld, and the StarWarsHolidaySpecial. The first was what stapled on the JadeColoredGlasses, while the later two just provided Misanthropy Fuel. Keep in mind that my normal mood is a mixture of TheStoic and DeadpanSnarker, with gratuitous SesquipedalianLoquaciousness... but every once in a while, all I can manage is a FlatWhat. * [[Tropers/LoveIsWeird This troperette]] has had her DeadpanSnarker SesquipedalianLoquaciousness silenced by either a WallBanger moment, her friend Kaycee's GenreSavvy CloudCuckoolander moments and various forms of CMOH, CMOA and CMOF. * [[Tropers/TheTallOne I]] once responded to a particularly [[BeyondTheImpossible mind-breakingly]] [[CrazyAwesome insane]] moment on a forum by simply replying. ''You broke my sarcasm.'' Several people said I had taken the words right from their mouths. Er, keyboards. * In [[Tropers/RedWren This troper's]] collection of unwritten scenes, there is a bard who...well, if s/he were in our culture, would be a follower/respecter of Hermes (god of all those who live by their wits, talked someone to death), Anansi (created stories), Apollo (music) and all of the muses. When asked to describe the disaster, s/he just says, "I have no words." * When this troper went to school wearing plain black sunglasses oneday(the australian sun in the summer is a harsh mistress, I took em off when I got into the shade) to hear two 12 year old girls snickering at her. I tried to ignore them as I had work to do, but when one of them said "Nice glasses", this troper was sick of cliches and replied "Nice attempt at sarcasm are you going to make fun of my shoes next?, p*** off I've got stuff to do" in a harsh tone turns out they didn't like that and tried to follow me into the library but thank god the bell rang..........good times ** What could they have done to you in the library? And what is that censored P word? Penis off?

** Probably piss. * [[Tropers/{{Acebrock}} This troper]] had a major sarcasm failure after seeing on of Meg Whitman's recent commercials, where Tom McClintock stumps for her --> McClintock: This time let's elect a Governor from the Republican wing of the Republican Party --> Me: [[FlatWhat Wut?]] * My cousin was playing pokemon dungeon explorers of sky and he keps losing at the final boss. eventually, this happened --> Me: You're still fighting him? --> Cousin: well of course! it's not a field trip to happy flower land! * Something of a catchphrase for this troper. He was seen as the smart guy by his college, but sometimes all that entered his mouth was: "You... wait, what?" ** It's like you're a male version of me. Sometimes, something is just too confounding for sarcasm to properly process it. * This troper is regarded as being a quote "sarcastic son of a *list of expletives here*" and fittingly his closest friends can induce this in him by being so unforgivably random and crazy that often my only response to their latest antics is to devolve into Angrish. * This Troper frequently causes this in other people, [[RefugeinAudacity by saying really horrible things]]. ---Click here to--Oh God...[[SarcasmFailure That is really weird.]] ----

SarcasmMode * *To friend after a (supposedly) saracastic comment*: 'No, see, that was my serious tone. ''This'' is my sarcasm tone.' All said in the same tone of voice. * Sarcasm is this troper's oxygen. His sarcasm can be shot out at anyone. Any time. Period. ** You do not ''shoot'' breath. Keep your analogies consistant. *** *fires an air rifle* **** That's not breath. A better example would be someone inhaling and getting a bullet in the mouth. Their breath was shot. * This troper has her SarcasmMode on ModeLock, unfortunately. ** Sarcasm is ''totally'' not my second language. And I ''certainly'' don't use it sans accent to give compliments. "Nice hat." ''Suuuure'' it is. Oh ''shit'', now you've mode locked ''me'' too. *** Sarcasm isn't this troper's second language either, it's my first. I've told everyone that talks to me to never take anything I say seriously because of all the sarcastic comments. *** This Troper uses sarcasm in nearly every sentence. *** icwatudidthar * This troper us pretty much always sarcastic, except for when she's online because people have a tendency to read things entirely the wrong way. Her father, not a major fan of sarcasm to say the least, has unsuccessfully tried to reign her in. ** This (male) troper believes he might have accidentally gone on an

AU TVTropes where he's female. * This Troper apparently almost never stops being sarcastic. When she does, it's only because the situation is just completely inappropriate for it. And sometimes even then. Oops. * I can't seem to keep myself from using sarcasm in almost everything I say. This has become so infamous that some people have stopped believing me altogether, fearing I am using well-hidden sarcasm. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with that. Really. * I have a hard time telling when people are being sarcastic...I want to bawl at times. ** I feel for you, sometimes the snark just gets completely lost for me and I actually have to ask moments later if someone WAS being serious. * [[{{Agent Alpha}} This troper]] is full of sarcasm, and it's mostly due to his mother, who is a patron saint of sarcasm. Our exchanges can't help but descend into back-and-forth barbs. However, this troper has learned to keep his wit restrained for private moments with friends and family, who can appreciate it and not take (too much) offense. * This troper can be quite a snarky fellow around heavily misinformed or just plain batshit explanations. He commonly uses ALL CAPITAL LETTERS WITH NO PUNCTUATION to make this point across the internet. It still manages to get lost on afew people. * This troper has the bad habit of answering sarcastically whenever he hears a stupid question. Like when ThisTroper was asked if getting punched was bad. ThisTroper promptly answered: "It's so f***ing good you might want to get more later, wanna try?". * I think [[{{Kathadrion}} my]] mother sort of assumed I would stop being sarcastic all the time once I wasn't a teenager anymore. She was wrong. * I am so not good at telling when people are being sarcastic or joking on the internet. That's gotten me in trouble, more than a few times. I try to only joke with users who know me well, so I that don't inadvertently offend someone who might think I was being serious. * [[Tropers/{{Fyrewyre}} This troper]], after being home-schooled since kindergarden and being able to read since one and a half, upon seeing the words theEnglish class of the online school I'm joining considered to be difficult for tenth graders, all of which I've seen and used frequently in my stories: "gallant" "perished" "splendor" "unconscious" --> *Sigh* [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "This is gonna]] [[SarcasmMode be a fun year."]] * [[Tropers/{{TheDarkLord}} This troper]] has a whole separate persona for sarcasm, snarking and deconstructing anything that reaches my ears which makes for sadistic humor, and boy am I an ASS when I am in it. Can't help it, it's just so much fun for me. Doesn't help that both my parents are avid users of sarcasm. * This troppettes favourite way of dealing with idiots. This tropettes form of humour is also extremely sarcastic. Think of it as her way of telling a joke...Her close friends love it. This troppette also thinks it's a good way of dealing with morons on the interwebs. Naturally being morons they can't tell the difference unless she points it out

to them. * Strange example for [[{{LOLin8or}} this troper]], who's arch-nemesis used SarcasmMode while this troper was pissed off, saying things like "Oh no, [This Troper] is angry. Everybody run." in a sarcastic tone. Understandably, [[{{Understatement}} this did not help my annger]], and I ended up throwing my lunchbox at him. * This Troper has taken to writing: *sarcasm mode* in comments or emails [[CaptainObvious for when she's being sarcastic.]] * My friends and I are all like this, mostly because we're surrounded by idiots and it makes it a little too easy. I'm not particularly witty, but I'm ''always'' sarcastic. My favorite type doesn't use the obvious 'sarcasm' tone (ex: yeah, suuuuuurrreeee), it verges on DeadpanSnarker sometimes. Once, I posted something really vague on Facebook for a forgotten reason: "Sometimes it just comes naturally." My friend immediately answered, "Sarcasm?" * I am well-known for being snarky. Some of my professors aren't sure how to deal with it, and my comment of "I'll stop being sarcastic when people stop being stupid." doesn't really help. * This troper believes that proper sarcasm is an art form. He has frequently been told to stop being such a smartass, and his response is invariably "Yeah, ''that'll'' happen." * This troper indefinitely speaks in sarcasm. She can't go a day without making a snarky comment. * Sometimes, this troper's SarcasmMode get stuck on for a few hours at a time, leaving her in a continual loop of almost involuntarily formed snarky comments from which she is unable to escape. * This troper enjoys being a sarcastic a**hole so much that the only difference between sincerity and sarcasm for me is a slight change in voice and my eyes narrowing. My friends have learned to pick up the change in voice, but god help those who meet me for the fist time and are exposed to my nuclear core of sarcasm. * This troper lives in SarcasmMode. Thanks to my additional DeanpanSnarker nature, I've been asked several times whether I was being serious or sarcastic in a conversation. My serious voice and sarcastic voice are essentially the same thing. * This Troper is sarcastic in absolutely everything she says. Including this. * This Troper is prepared to vote this page the single most useful on all of TV Tropes. Why, before I found it I had no idea at all how sarcasm worked, and now all is crystal clear. Truly, I am blessed. * This Troper was reading a book of japanese poetry when a friend asked "What are you reading?" which evoked my reflexive sarcastic answer "Hon" (japanese for book). This caused my friend to quip "Goody, sarcasm is your default mode no matter what language you're using." * I doubly subvert this by snarking while using SincerityMode while inside snarking at people. So people who really really really know me know I'm fucking with them, while random people who only knew me a year knows I'm not and thinks I mean it when I say what I say. * [[Tropers/ABadDriver This troper]] [[DeadpanSnarker is stuck in this]] [[ModeLock constantly.]] [[OhCrap When he's not...]][[NightmareFuelStationAttendant well...]]

* This Troper is like this with her [[AnnoyingYoungerSibling sister]]. Always. * I was sarcastic once. * [[Tropers/TheMayorofNorthfield This troper]] [[SarcasmMode is one of the most sincere, genuine, and honest people you will ever meet, and he has honestly no idea why he's posting on this page. He has never once been sarcastic in his entire life.]] ** [[DeadpanSnarker If you believe that, the troper would like to sell you a large, torch-bearing statue which currently sits on Ennis Island. The owner only used it on Sundays.]] ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint I"ll take it!]] * This troper practically lives in sarcasm mode. It can get kind of confusing when I'm in either GenkiGirl or ShrinkingViolet mode while doing it.... ---Describe SarcasmMode here. * I suppose ''you're'' too busy to? <<|TroperTales|>>

SarcasticClapping Ever had reason to use Main/SarcasticClapping? Describe it here. ---* [[{{Milskidasith}} This Troper]] uses this trope a lot. His favorite line is "Congratulations, you finally achieved absolutely nothing productive!" * [[{{Rogue 7}} This troper]] constantly uses this trope, frequently with the line, "They get the slow clap." * [[Americanbadass This Troper]] used it at a wedding, he didn't feel like being at, slowly clapping while everyone else wildly clapped. I'm also found on using it on friends followed by the word "Bravo." ** This Troper calls it the "golf clap." *** Inspired by WorldOfWarcraft, [[Tropers/{{Nemica}} this troper]] likes to use "/golfclap" in chats. [[CaptainObvious Oh, and in]] WorldOfWarcraft. *** I thought the "slow clap" is when you clap at full volume-but a low speed. Taking your hands to at least shoulder width apart, or swinging them as far apart as they'll go and hamming up the act of bringing them together for extra points: example being Heath Ledger's clap as the Joker when applauding Gordon's promotion. A "golf clap" is a clapping appropriate for the usually quiet game of golf: much quieter, it is performed by holding one hand stationary, holding the other hand near, and clapping by only extending and flexing the wrist of the movement hand so that the movement hand's fingers strike the palm of the stationary hand. The result there is a very rapid but very quiet clapping sound. * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] does it whenever she can. Occasionally accompanied by an amused ([[PsychoticSmirk but possibly creepy]]) smirk, if not a [[DeadpanSnarker look that says "God you're a moron."]] * [[{{Skazka}} This troper]] can no longer do this clap without being

spurred to make a [[TheDarkKnight Christopher Nolan reference.]] * Trope + Raised Eyebrow = Instant annoyance in the target and great satisfaction. * [[{{Gerusz}} This troper]] simply loves using it. With some laser guided sarcasm the victim is usually humiliated as hell. * At one of this troper's former school, it was traditional to do this whenever someone dropped (and/or broke) a glass in the cafeteria. * [[{{Arc9}} This troper]] and his friends have used the SarcasticClapping to death and decided to [[{{UpToEleven}} take it one step beyond]]: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the ''one-handed'' clap. * I do this a lot. I also combine this with phrases like "Congratulations, would you please give your acceptance speech for the Darwin Awards!", "Congratulations", "A-MAAAAAAAA-ZING!" and "WOAH DUDE!" * This troper used to use this a lot. He stopped after a friend got ''slightly'' pissed and whacked him in the face with her ''slightly'' heavy [[BagOfHolding purse]]. * When this one was in high school, a fellow known for being a bit nasty to the "odd ones" managed to trip in the cafeteria and send his food flying. After the traditional "OHHHH!" my school lets loose in such circumstances, this troper stood up added a slow clap-which the ENTIRE CAFETERIA picked up on. Hundreds of people all sarcastically applauding. My friend couldn't stop laughing for five minutes. * This troper's brother can barely do anything important for himself.Seriously, he's 12 and can't even tie shoelaces or ride a bike.He gets this trope thrown at him by me all the time. ** Congratulations, you're a cunt. *** * sarcastically claps* * [[JohnnyBGoode This troper]] averts this, instead giving the person a thumbs up and saying "GOOD JOB!" ** [[{{starshine}} This troper]] does the exact same thing. Sometimes alternating with "WAY TO GO". * [[GwenStacyWannabe I]] have several wonderful friends who are prone to, shall we say, [[CloudCuckoolander sudden declarations having nothing to do with the subject at hand]] and [[LateToThePunchline taking a moment to understand certain things]]. Cue this. * I do this all the time to my mum and her best friend. Sometimes, if my hands are occupied, I say, 'I'd sarcastically clap, but my hands are full.' Sometimes, I'll add a, 'Smooth,' to the clapping. Also, being the dork I am, I'll sometimes sarcastically clap when a character does something I find awkward, idiotic, or a combination of both. * This troper enjoys doing this, usually muttering, with sarcasm, 'Congratulations,' or 'Wooooow...' depending on the subject, and often getting an instant "Shut up" if the person catches it. * During this troper's graduation, while we were all filing into our seats, a small group went into the wrong row. Someone nearby started a sarcastic clap, and since most people there couldn't see what was going on, they all figured they should join in. That's over 3000 students, parents, teachers, and guests sarcastically clapping for the one kid who went one row further back than they should.

* This Troper, as the emotionless DeadpanSnarker, got into the habit of clapping like this all the time, even when genuinely congratulating someone. * This is one of my friends's favorite methods for being annoying. Usually says "GOOD JOB" * This troper does it all the time. Particularly with a certain friend who often does something to deserve it IMO. * [[{{Valex}} I]] once went on a field trip for AP Bio that involved canoeing across a river. Most people struggled a little, but eventually got to the end. Me and my partner got to the end about 30 minutes after everyone else. When we walked on to the bus, we were greeted by a not-so-enthusiatic round of applause. * One of this troper's friends chose this as a tic in ''{{Paranoia}}''. Much Perversity was granted. * Once, on cop day, an officer came to my school to give a speech. Almost an hour later, during which all the school was standing, the guy received this because he had finally shut up. The problem? [[InsultBackfire He came back next year!]] * It seems to be taboo wherever this troper goes that if someone knocks over a chair the rest of the people in the vicinity are required to start clapping. * This troper does it a lot when she sees jaywalkers (when there is a crosswalk 10 feet away from them) and extremely stupid drivers (She lives in the Bay Area, the Mecca of moronic drivers). * [[CorporealWolf This Troper]]'s entire class will do this whenever anyone does something stupid. It's fun. * This troper's school accidentally put too many band geeks in one lunch. We all sit together, and if someone at a nearby table does something stupid many band geeks shall sarcastically clap them into shame. * This troper does the sarcastic clap by default, even if its genuine applause. * This troper's ROTC friends are impressed if you went to basic training. They are not impressed if you brag that you're a Private First Class. Cue this trope. * ThisTroper and his friends tended to do this back when we played ''[[MagicTheGathering Magic]]'' regularly and someone made a boneheaded play. Alternatively, everyone would do a simultaneous point-and-laugh. * Whenever the school shoves us in the auditorium to listen to a speech about being idealistic morons and how sweet and cute and innocent we high schoolers are, the speaker receives a nice big round of this. * A slowly growing catchphrase of mine would be "Very good, Brittany!" (Brittany is my BFF. We're both a little slow sometimes.) * This troper tends to do this a lot, sometimes accompanied by catchphrase "You get a bone." ,just plain "I'm happy for *insert something here.*" or even a "Woo." * This tropette and her friend did this alot yesterday. For no reason at all. * [[Troper/{{AdelePotter}} This Tropette]] does this. A lot. * Whenever someone pronounces something like "I'm going to the

bathroom", this troper ALWAYS replies "Have fun". * This troper tends to do this whenever someone drops a plate in the school cafeteria, along with most of the other students. Accompanied by "Mazel Tov" if the plate breaks. * [[{{Tropers/Aspie}} This troper]] is becoming a big fan of it, especially when watching a show where a character does something stupid. (Or when he hears something he thinks is ridiculous on the news.) * Any time a friend of this troper does something stupid and/or downright idiotic, he bestows them with a standing ovation and "BRILLIANT!" The reactions range from playing along with the joke to play-slapping or play-screaming at him. ---Congratulations! You managed to find the link [[Main/SarcasticClapping back!]] Well done! * applause* ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SarcasticConfession * This troper. Constantly. Late to class? "I was having a party selling drugs to a friend to help her detox from hydro. And then I punched a kid in the face. Of course that's why I'm late, it's legit." Got away with it. * In her earlier years, this troper had some trouble with shoplifting. If someone asked how much something cost, the answer was "I dunno, I stole it." However, the best moment was when this troper actually somehow managed to steal alcohol (not recommended kids. Stealing is bad.) She got a call from her mom right after, asking what she was doing. The answer? "I just robbed a liquor store. I'm drinking some vodka, want some?" She got away with it, and regretted it ever since. * ThisTroper doesn't actually use it to cover up misdeeds, but regularly tells facts about his life with enough outlandish detail that he knows no one will believe them, leaving people with the impression that he's much, much more normal than he actually is. He's told a few people that they don't really know him until they've realized how rarely he's joking. * I've introduced a friend (and fellow Troper) to the ''DresdenFiles'' series. He'd been joking while reading ''Fool Moon'' that Harry was clearly going to die, so when he got to book 3 (''Grave Peril''), I told him [[spoiler: "Oh, yeah, Harry dies in this one."]] He didn't believe me- it helps that I have a habit of false spoilers (although they usually involve at least one of gribbly green aliens with tentacles and ninja, whichever is least likely to actually happen in the work). He's finished it now, but I have yet to see his reaction to the bit where [[spoiler: Harry temporarily dies so he can team up with his ghost...]] * I personally had a lot of trouble with this because the actual confessions I made people thought were BS but the sarcastic ones were taken seriously. Obviously, I must be doing something wrong here... ** I'm the flip side; I mistake actual confessions for BS and take sarcastic ones seriously. Once, a guy even confessed to me that he

wanted us to be more than friends, and somehow I mistook it for a joke. * When I was in middle school, we had a saying: 50% of what you joke about is actually the truth. It was a great comeback when people responded to your insult with sarcarsm. "You're stupid!" "Oh yeah, I totally am." "You know, 50% of what you joke about is true..." These days, though, probably 90% of the things I say in a sarcastic tone is actually true. * Physicist and prankster [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Feynman Richard Feynman]] did this at MIT; see [[http://books.google.com/books?id=7papZR4oVssC&lpg=PA39&ots=erUYfdqTZ 1&dq=feynman%20who%20stole%20the%20door&pg=PA39#v=onepage&q&f=false Who Stole the Door]] in ''Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman''. * I have seen at least three people use this successfully, including one time a friend, when asked what we were doing on a school computer, replied that we were play extremely violent, stolen games. The aide returned to their work, and we returned to the pirated copy of {{Starcraft}}... * This Troper's sister has a habit of delivering everything in total deadpan, so for most people it's difficult to tell when she's joking and when she isn't. However, she is indeed partial to sarcastic confessions, which led to a small mental breakdown on the part of our overly-stressed mother when an actual use of sarcasm was misidentified as the truth. Sister has toned down her use of sarcastic confession considerably since. * This Troper's gossip-insane friend informed a girl that I was attracted to her. I proceeded to respond "True story, I'm actually really attracted to you." in a casual voice, getting a laugh, then [[MagnificentBastard I told her "I also have a knack for saying true things in a sarcastic voice."]] * One of This Troper's roleplaying characters used this to dodge an inconvenient question. Every word she said was true. -->'''Character:''' OK, ''fine''. I'm secretly seeing Trevor behind Claud's back, and we're going out tomorrow night and I'll probably let him touch my tits. Also, I'm still a virgin, and I'm really [[Main/FreakyFridayFlip Charlotte Bronson's mind in Eleanor's body]] after [[Main/MadScientist Von Krankenstein]] switched our brains. The ''real'' Eleanor is at Charlotte's house fucking the nerd's lesbian girlfriend. * This troper had a conversation with a coworker in which she said, "Take your time packing up, I'm going to run to the grocery store and grab some batteries." "Batteries, huh? For your vibrator?" "Yes, Coworker. For my enormous blue multipronged ''vibrator'' *eyeroll*." His shot in the dark had hit uncomfortably close. * [[{{Tropers/Samusaranfan}} I'm]] working on a story. Towards the end, [[TheHero Annabelle]] is at school after suffering some major injuries. She and [[FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire Daniel]] are walking down the hall when TheLibby approaches them. --> TheLibby : Hey, how'd you break your leg. --> [[DeadpanSnarker Annabelle]]: [[SarcasticConfession Oh, see this evil vampire attacked me and nearly killed me, but]] [[LoveInterest

Daniel]], [[SarcasticConfession who's also a vampire, saved me.]] --> TheLibby : If you didn't want to tell me the real reason, then you should have just said so. * --> Crush : Is it because you love me? --> Me : Yes. That's obviously the reason. ** I did tell him my true feelings eventually though. * --> Friend: Hey, Trooper. Why are you always wearing those black bracelets?\\ Trooper: They're rememberances for a friend who tried to kill herself.\\ Friend: Oh, right. * When our boss asked me and my co-workers why we were behind on the project, I said that the data we needed had not been transmitted for several months (true) so we'd been [[{{Minecraft}} building a massive subterranean railway]] instead. He laughed at this absurdity, especially since we ''had'' managed to do other look-busy projects during that time. I nearly got ''strangled'' by my co-workers when he left, but it was worth it. ---Of course. You can go back to the regular page just by clicking SarcasticConfession right there. Sure. * [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Why thank you, good Sir!]] ----

SaveOurStudents * This editor's trade at Job Corps, computer repair, had a reputation for being a haven for slackers and miscreants. This editor enrolled in the class at the tail end of a string of temporary replacements after the main instructor retired. When a permanent instructor was finally hired, he managed to turn the class completely around, booted the trainees who weren't doing anything, and helped along those who knew computers but lacked motivation. Within 5 months, half of the class has been certified and this editor himself found a job in the field thanks largely to the instructor's industry connections. * [[DesertDragon This troper's]] ex-boyfriend taught English at an [[InnerCitySchool inner-city community college]], and heard many a story about students whom he couldn't believe graduated high school based on their classwork, or came from highly sheltered backgrounds. This troper would joke about how teachers long for that "Michelle Pfifer Moment", when the class full of dumb thugs finally gets it and starts to turn itself around. That should be a trope in and of itself... * This troper's little brother had the most awesome fourth grade teacher in the universe, unfortunately, that teacher was only there for a year. * If it was a movie, [[{{randomfanboy}} my]] life in high school would be a whole bunch of subversions. My first teacher was a TricksterArchetype in the vein of JackBlack, who had just joined the school that year. My second teacher was a hardnosed old lady, who came

to the class specifically because it was so bad. My third teacher had been at the school for years. My final teacher was a WideEyedIdealist fresh out of college. Guess which one handled the class the best? [[spoiler: The one who'd been there for years. Who, ya know, knew all the students and hence knew all their tricks. The Trickster guy nearly strangled a student, the hardnosed old lady ran once ran out of the room crying, and fresh-outta-college became cynical and frustrated.]] For extra subversion-goodness, I was the quiet kid in the back that you always see in these stories who still has a love of learning and tries their best. Eventually, I became just as cynical and as much of a lazy fuckwit as everybody else (til I went to college and fell in love with learning again). * My middle school French teacher taught at an InnerCitySchool for about 10 years. She tells us this story repeatedly: "When I first started teaching there, the class had already had several teachers who gave up and quit. When I got into the classroom, the kids were just as bad as I expected. I started my lesson, and they said 'Hey, bitch!' I stopped what I was doing and said, 'If you're going to call me that, then it's ''Madame'' Bitch.' They immediately started paying more attention." ** That, my friend, is a CrowningMomentOfAwesome for your teacher, hands down. ---If you want to go back to SaveOurStudents, you better wake up and pay attention. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SaveScumming * There's one point in VideoGame/SuperMarioRPG where I always save scum: it's in bean Valley with the 5 pipes. three of the pipes have slot machine type chests where you either get completely healed, a flower tab, or a rock candy. I save scum and reset as nessecary until I have gotten a rock candy from all of them. * This was pretty much the only way [[{{Filby}} this editor]] ever beat ''OregonTrail'' in elementary school. ** This Troper had a teacher who figured out how to actually beat the game without savescumming-namely, a callous disregard for the wellbeing of the party. Running low on food? Continue. Shot yourself trying to shoot a bear? Continue. Dying of dysentery? Continue. Continue, continue, continue. Of course, by the time you actually got to Oregon, there was probably like one of you left, on the verge of death, but since you ''got there,'' [[InstantWinCondition you automatically got better instantly and had a much better life because you made it to Oregon.]] *** Your teacher must not have had ''OregonTrail 2'' then. If s/he did, you would have had the option to treat stuff and it continues as normal anyways. (Unless you decide to slow down; I still have people dying of a common cold after I increase fluid intake) ** This Troper doesn't remember ever having to do this in this game.

Sure, the lose to win ration was around 3 to 1, but it was definitely possible to get at least most of the party to Oregon safe and sound. ** Every run for Me always involved saving at "The Dallas", good thing too, I hit a rock on My first run and lost Aren (A [[{{Pokemon}} Lucario]]), I obviously restarted ** The newer versions of Oregon Trail are ''sadistic'', to the point where you wonder where the metaphor for how tough it was to make the actual journey ends and where the developers' genuine hatred of little children begins. Example: Despite what common sense should dictate, the Oregon Trail is a line that can never be deviated from (except at pre-determined junctions). There are places where you'll have to go up a hill. You can't go around it of course, you have to go up. Only it's raining, and the hill is muddy. If you try and go up your mules will twist their ankles and die. Reload. Try waiting out the rain. It never works. This troper sat through a '' two year rainstorm'' as the party slowly ran out of food and ammunition, broke bones for no particular reason, and died of dysentery. *** [[MemeticMutation Obviously, you should have continued.]] *** Sometimes, you actually didn't really have a choice; if you're trying to cross a really really steep mountain range it can be hard to go around. ** I never had this problem. Ever. I always arrived safe and happy in Oregon. ** This troper has never really had to do that even though he ''has'' saved at some hills or rivers to try doing stuff like [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential see how many times I can tip my wagon by trying to use ropes on an icy hill]] or [[TooDumbToLive doing something my sister did once]] and [[WhatAnIdiot trying to ford the river that was 7 feet deep]] * This troper saved the free Rocket Launcher from ResidentEvil4 to kill Salazar. She kept missing and restarting the boss fight until she won. * This is an absolute must when playing ''MLB Front Office Manager 2009''. The game has a pretty bad AI engine. When you play one of the many baseball games on "simulate" mode, you don't make any choices, you just get the end result of the game. When you get a result you don't like, go back and do it again. This is necessary because the game will make the most stupid choices, such as: ** Pulling a good pitcher out of a game to substitute another pitcher, usually the pitcher with the highest ERA, which is the exact opposite of what any human being with experience beyond T-ball would do. ** The game features the entire farm system for MLB and MiLB. At times, if you don't look out, the AI will move a plyer up to a higher league after you've sent him down and at other times, will also reacquire a player you got rid. * When anyone ever have a dream where one goes about one's day. When you wake up, it feels exactly like loading a save game. * In games like Half-Life (2), while I normally did not SaveScum, but just relied on the autosave-points (especially HL2) and/or quick saved every now and then (HL1, as autosave-points are more scarce an less well placed), I would occasionally end up at some point of the game with extremely low health, but then pass an autosave-point and/or

accidently hit quicksave. Knowing the previous savestate (i.e. the one before the current, low-health one) is waaaay back, I then would resort to heavy SaveScumming to get through that part until reaching the next bunch of health powerups. * [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] had to do this just to make it out of Hades Island in MegaManBattleNetwork 3, after obtaining the PlotCoupon to continue the tournament. I'd literally take a step or two forward and then save; resetting if I had a random encounter while moving because I was out of healing items, down to only 1HP, and unable to deal heavy enough damage to defeat the power enemies in that area. * This troper was pretty guilty of this as a kid, but I wanted my [[{{Pokemon}} Groudon]] dammit. ** Oh man... Any "legend" you try to go after without instant win Master Balls (heh heh) you HAVE to save right before it. * This troper views this trope as apostasy against the gaming gods and [[InvertedTrope never does it]] even when he should. Then he wonders why games are so difficult. * [[Tropers/{{Dallenson}} This troper]] Had to save ALOT in skirmish matches in [[{{Commandandconquer}} Tiberian sun]] Not incase of mistakes but because the damn game had a tendency to crash for no damn reason! Especially when playing Nod * When I first started XCom, I kept no less than four save files for one game: A "Safe" overworld save (saved once a month or so ingame, for when I was sure things were going well), a "Danger" overworld save (when I was about to do something risky), a beginning-of-combat save, and a turn-by-turn combat save. In my defense, this was partly necessary because compatability issues caused the game to repeatedly crash. Can't really say I have an excuse for doing this with SuperRobotWars, though. Furthermore, in {{Civilization}}, I have a "safe" save (done when I'm sure I'm doing well), a "standard" save (done every other turn or so), and a "risk" save (when I'm about to do something I may regret). * I once did this in a particularly epic battle on Age of Empires 3. Me (Ottomans) vs. Sioux vs. Aztec vs. Iroquis vs. Dutch vs. Russians vs. Portugese vs. Germans. Paranoia crept in during the first three minutes. I'm about to attack one Aztec villager about three seconds travel away... too risky, must save first! I'm going to take the six Janissaries instead of a Great Bombard, must save! It has been three minutes since a fight, must save! Twelve save files in the first ten minutes of actual gameplay. * Out of boredom, and because I wanted that Cassus Fett Armor, this Troper won upwards of 15,000 [[KnightsOfTheOldRepublic playing Pazaak in the lower city cantina]]. He and the Rodian at Fazza's lodge are unlimited play. ** [[{{Tropers/Allronix}} This Troper]] did the same thing. I learned my lesson from being a {{Sierra}} jock. Sierra games flat-out tell you "save early, save often." It's also VERY smart to have a ton of saved games and bookmarks if you modify your game. Some mods do not play nicely with one another and the only way to test compatibility and fixes is to save, quit, tinker, then reload. * This troper was able to unlock several achievements in MassEffect2

only available using certain squadmates (Use 2 Biotic Attacks/Overload/Incinerate/Warp 20 times) by SaveScumming specific moments of Freedom's Progress, Horizon, and the Korlus missions with Jacob/Miranda/Kasumi/Mordin freeing me of having to keep Jacob or Miranda with me more than needed. * Due to the number of sadistic DMs I have played with, I now keep a piece of paper with save and load buttons drawn on it, mostly to show when I think they're about to go off the deep end. * Down there where it says "Keep refreshing...". Don't refresh; you need to go to an earlier save. * When I was quite young, and just learning about emulators, I always used save states to beat SNES games like [[TheLegendOfZelda A Link To The Past]]. Hence I thought those games were much ''easier than they actually were''. Then I learned save states were the "wrong" way to beat a game. When I went back and replayed those games, I was really shamed of finding out I was apparently a worse gamer then I was before, until I remembered I used save states last time. * This troper almost always plays this way, even if she no longer really needs to to beat the games. She finds it easier to beat bosses when she's not worrying about redoing the dungeon if she fails. * I would do this all the time in the early Mario Parties, against the computer anyway. Since the game saved your progress at the beginning of every turn, if the computer made a move that endangered my win, I would turn off the N64 and reload the party, and they would usually do something else entirely. * [[Tropers/KatanaCat I]] do this all the time if I have the chance, especially for hard games like ''Ristar'' and ''Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind''. Pretty much the only time I don't is if I'm playing on Time Attack mode or just messing around. ** [[@/{{endlessness}} I]] do this all the time, too (except for roguelikes, where a large part of the fun IS the randomness). I'm playing for fun, not to brag about completing the game. * [[{{Tropers/Deelles}} This Troper]] is wondering if the secret bonus of SuperRobotWarsOriginalGeneration 2's stage 15 was possible without SaveScumming. * If I wanted to gold a Burnout 2 championship but lost a particular race, I'd then waste time waiting for those other races to finish, even if I rebooted the machine. Or I could reset the GameCube (or PS2, as that was what I played on) before the "saving" screen and start where I left off with the prior save file. * Since I'm particularly terrible at hacking in {{Bioshock}} I've ended up resorting to this. Sodding ''hate'' the "hacking" minigame. * [[PokemonEmerald Kyogre]]. Oh, gosh, Kyogre. ---Keep refreshing until you get back to SaveScumming safely. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SavvyGuyEnergeticGirl * This doesn't always seem to work out all that well, for me at least. I'm a Genki girl Gamer chick famous for lacking an indoor voice and

always bouncing from place to place while humming off-key and going off on Cloudcuckoolander tengents. I ended up with a calm man of few words whom was also a gamer, though he was more reserved and secretive and kinda withdrawn and all that. We had a marvelous relationship, where we either adored each other, or had to fight the urge to claw each others eyes out. By the end we both cited 'Driven to the brink of insanity' as a reason for splitting. * {{Dinru}} and her boyfriend. I'm a GenkiGirl who, due to his presence, seems like she's always in CaffeineBulletTime. He's mildly {{Keet}}-ish at times, but usually he's the calmer one. Of course, I'm a KuuDere and he's basically a Dere Kuu (as in, he's nice on the outside but he's very Kuu on the inside, a complete inversion. Though deeper down inside he's Dere again.), it seems the other way around to most. * This troper's parents are basicly this. My mother is energetic, fun and a bit CloudCuckooLander-ish and my dad is her [[{{DeadpanSnarker}} snarking]] foil. * [[{{Ryumaru}} This Troper and a friend]] pull this off, despite the fact that said friend is a lesbian. Of course, some people may be confused, since she's very huggy. * This troper and his ex-girlfriend. She was cute, hyperactive and creative. He was dark, calm and... well, also creative, but more subtly. It worked quite well. * [[MarinaDelGrapes Marina Del Grapes]] and her husband. ** Following suit, {{Amarys}} and her boyo. * Pretty much my girlfriend and I...to a somewhat extreme level. It's not unusual to see me physically restraining her on dates so she doesn't try to set me up for molesting a Victoria's Secret salesgirl or something. * My parents. My mother is active, doing lots of stuff around the house and doing much with friends. My dad has only a few hobbies and doesn't say much. But when she needs him, he is there. * [[JohnnyBGoode This troper]] and his best friend both play this trope straight and subvert it. She's normally a LargeHam GenkiGirl and this troper her calmer DeadpanSnarker foil. Subverted because I'm more likely to freak out or react in an over-the-top way to my personal issues, while she's more of a BrokenBird about hers. * This troper is going to see if she can land herself one of these with her crush... Wish me luck fellow tropers! * [[IJVin My]] dad and stepmom are like this to an extent, but theMostTriumphantExample in my life is the couple that had the following conversation: ---->'''She:''' Is this your hammer? ---->'''He:''' No. ---->'''She:''' If I had a hammer... ''(sings the entire first verse into the hammer)'' ---->'''He:''' Honey, give me the hammer. You're gonna hurt yourself. ---->'''She:''' Is it your hammer? ---->'''He:''' No, you already asked that. ---->'''She:''' I did? ---->'''He:''' Yeah, I answered the question and you started singing and you forgot I answered it.

* This troper and her boyfriend. She's a loud, semi-hyper completely insane spunky punky chick, he's a calm, quiet metal head. They sometimes subvert this as she has some layers of [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan snark]] in her and is generally regarded as one of the "sane ones" in her group of friends, and when he gets into things, he ''really'' gets into them, and does such things as leap out of his chair, mime actions, and growl like a feral animal. * Subverted with this troper and her sort-of friend. Even though we're both considered geniuses and we're both logical enough to count as Spock, she's the cynical DeadpanSnarker and he's the insane one. This troper is a very GenreSavvy TallDarkandSnarky loner bookworm with a hidden affinity for cats, and her friend is a nerdy LargeHam CloudCuckooLander who is obsessed with rave music and has a tendency for WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome moments. The only reason that we're actually friends is because we're the only people who like seinen/serious shonen genre anime and manga at our school. * This is how me and my friend/interest Cass are. I'm usually a laidback, observing, snarky thinker, while she's an active, hands-on, snarky doer. We both have our moments where we act the other roles, but it's usually that way. And, yes, I know I said we're both snarky; that's because we are, and that's something I really enjoy! * Played straight in my life. He has to literally sit me down and tell me to cool it when I get to carried away. * Played straight for this troper as well -- I'm a quiet, studious, mainly introverted guy and this [[LoveInterest girl I have a thing for]] is much more of the extroverted, ambitious, involved, communityand-leadership type. When we first met, I was a second-year university student coming off a co-op term and returning to a community that had left me behind, and she (then in first year) took it upon herself to help me feel welcome again (she's just that kind and outgoing to everyone). Her example slowly drove me to get out of my proverbial shell more often, and I continued to run into her with some regularity, but me being me, I never could get up the guts to [[RelationshipUpgrade ask her out]]. Currently [[DefiedTrope defied hard]] for me because I recently found out (indirectly) that she already ''has'' a boyfriend ... which, while [[DullSurprise not particularly surprising]], is [[FridgeHorror something that]] [[YourMileageMayVary probably wouldn't]] [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone have been]] [[DespairEventHorizon the case]] [[HeroicSafeMode had I]] [[TakeThat acted earlier]]. [[HumiliationConga And this isn't the first time]] [[GoMadFromTheIsolation my inaction has messed things up.]] [[SarcasmMode Yay.]] * [[{{neoYTPism}} This troper]] has yet to be involved in dating, yet is absolutely convinced that the GenkiGirl personality is exactly the kind of personality he would find attractive, despite ([[OppositesAttract if not partly because of]]) not being a particularly energetic guy himself. * This troper and her friend are like this. I'm usually a {{Deadpan Snarker}}, but around him, I become a {{Genki Girl}} of epic proportions. I'm not entirely sure why. He'll snark at me for doing something stupid, and somehow to me that translates to bothering him incessantly.

* Inverted for my boyfriend and I. He's crazy, loud, and energetic, whereas I am severely shy and rather withdrawn. I try my best to be tolerant -- God knows he suffers me being the repressed and sarcastic person I am, the least I can do is to return the favor -- but I often end up asking him to lower his voice, please, or to calm down a little, please. I've been beginning to perk up a bit, though, when we're together without anyone else around, and he's been making an effort to mellow out a bit and try to be more serious. Hopefully we can reach an equilibrium of sorts that both of us are comfortable with. * This Troper's friends have been known to hide sugar and caffenine from her. She is off the wall and living somewhere with rainbows and shiny things. Not to mention her easily diverted attention span. She's with a calm, serious guy who often assuages her when things go wrong and makes sure nothing bad happens to her if she gets a little more than crazy. ---"Go back to-" "Well HELLO there Bob!" "Alice, stop interrupting me, please, and go back to SavvyGuyEnergeticGirl." <<|TroperTales|>>

SawStarWarsTwentySevenTimes * This troper has probably seen TheLionKing hundreds of times (I remember watching it nearly every day when I was a kid) and WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory a slightly lower number of times. Now I barely watch movies at all. * Proudly admit to having seen ''Film/{{Xanadu}}'' at least 100 times. I like Gene Kelly and Electric Light Orchestra and Olivia Newton John. I enjoyed the movie. ** Also, a cousin of mine watched ''AChorusLine'' at least 52 times, playing the video every week she babysat. ** A roommate of mine watched ''{{Cats}}'' daily until my other roommates hid the DVD. * Man, if I had to come up with the number of times I've seen ''JohnnyMnemonic'', I feel like I might have to be committed to the loony bin. * This troper isn't sure how many times he's seen MightyMorphinPowerRangersTheMovie, but it's well into the hundreds. Yes, with an s. * [[@/{{Pastylover2}} This Troper]] has seen every episode of [[Series/DoctorWho NuWho]] at least 5 times each. *** He has watched the Impossible Astronaut 5 times already! Hehe! ** He's also seen Harry Potter 7 Part 1 in theatres three times. *** Talking about Harry Potter, he's in the middle of reading the books for the fifth time. ** He has seen Anchorman 15 times. ** He saw Sucker Punch 3 times in the theatres. Second and third viewings were at the same theatre ''two days running!'' ** ScottPilgrimVersusTheWorld? Four times!

** HotFuzz? Three times! ** ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents? Lost count! * Back when he was little, This troper had of least seen ToyStory at least 10 times when it came out on VHS. * [[@/{{Villefort}} Me]] and my family have probably seen UndercoverBrother and KungPowEnterTheFist at least ten times each. * This troper has seen SpiritedAway at least 20 times. * [[Tropers/LordBlumiere This Tropette]] has probably seen {{Mulan}} over one hundred times. * [[Tropers/WarriorOfLight This Troper]] has seen the original Star Wars trilogy, all three of them, at the very least, a hundred times. The Prequels...Episodes I and II have to be up there in the high fifties or low sixties, and Episode III has to be up there in the high thirties. He is aware that this is insane. ** I'm pretty sure you're me. Except that [[SwiftStrike I]] don't think it's insane at all! * My record for seeing a film in theaters is ''[[Film/LordOfTheRings The Fellowship of the Ring]]'' six times. Followed by the first ''TheMatrix'' at four times. * As a very young child, [[Tropers/SeanMurrayI this troper]] watched ''[[ETTheExtraTerrestrial E.T.--The Extra Terrestrial]]'', ''{{Casablanca}}'', ''BackToTheFuture'', ''AHardDaysNight'', ''[[{{Help}} Help!]]'', and ''StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'' dozens upon dozens of times to the point that the VHS tapes were truly and utterly '''ruined'''. Once I'd reach the end credits for any of these movies, I would simply rewind the tape and watch it again right then and there. * [[{{Tropers/Wackd}} This troper]] has read ''[[TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]]''--that's the one with all five books and a short story in one volume--at least thirty times, the first being in early 2008, and at one point had the entire first book memorized. He's also seen the TV series at least five times. Also, I've seen PodPeople (the MST3K episode version) at least ten times and it's the only one I own a physical copy of. ** And I was sure my 6 or 7 readings of THGTTG was good D: * Not as extreme as some other examples, but this troper's mother has seen ThePhantomOfTheOpera on Broadway seven times. She herself has watched YellowSubmarine probably well over 30 times since birth, and her father tends to latch on to any films that catch his interest for about a month before moving on. * This troper saw ''[[TheDarkKnightSaga The Dark Knight]]'' 22 times....in the theater.....over the course of 2 and a half weeks. Before you decry the waste of money, I should specify that it was a dollar theater, showing films a few months after the initial release. This troper was essentially sneaking food into the theater to enjoy his dinner and a show on a nightly basis. This is in addition to the 3 times having seen it in the theater months previous, when it was first released. He was obsessed, okay? Can you blame him? * Also an example of RealMenWearPink This troper's best friend saw Tangled three times in theaters, bought the Blu-Ray and watch it about five more times within a couple of months.

* Spider-Man 2. 3 times...'''On opening day'''. ** Caught the midnight show, loved it. A buddy wanted to go to a matinee, I went. Ten o'clock showing - why not? Ye''gods'', there was something wrong with me. * Ten or eleven years ago, I used to live in a place where the most advanced piece of technology there was--wait for it--a VCR. No Pentium II, no Rage 128, not even a DVD player. That said, there were only fifteen videotapes, all G rated, the vast majority Disney. Take a guess what I did and how I felt. * This troper reads Stephen King's full Dark, No Stars every night... and when he finishes, he just goes straight back to the beginning. * This troper was in and out of the hospital with cancer for just over two years. In one eight-month period, my mother and I watched MyNeighborTotoro somewhere around ''200'' times. Yes, ''Two. Hundred''. Not kidding, you do the math yourself. We watched it at least five times a week, every week, for eight months. Probably more. Yes, it's still my favorite animated movie of all time. Yes, I still know every line by heart. Yes, I freaked out when I realized it had been re-dubbed. I know some people like the new dub better, but I repeat. Two. Hundred. Times. * This troper loves re-reading things. Anything I have every read and really enjoyed, there is a 95% chance I have read it more than once. Example: Redwall. Each of the first 17 I've read at least 30 times each. The 18 and 19, 20 times at least, the 20 over a dozen times, and the 21st twice. I'm also the first one with the 22nd on hold at the library. I could go on for hours. * This troper's sisters do this with movies all the time. A few years back, they watched {{Hercules}} at ''least'' once, every day, for about three weeks. If they missed a day, they watched it twice the next chance they got. They watched it 30 times at least. Last year, they did the same thing with ThePrincessAndTheFrog, watching it ''multiple'' times a day, every day. Within a week, they were reciting all the lines along with the characters, and [[ItGotWorse worse,]] they started randomly spewing dialogue sequences, reciting large chunks of the movie for no apparent reason. They did this in front of my three best friends, none of whom I'd seen for years, they did this in front of our cousins, they did this in front of people we'd never even met before... it was a nightmare. Everyone else thought it was funny. I've hated that movie ever since. They saw that ''50'' times, at least. * So, how many times have ''you'' watched MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail? ** Me? About nine times, probably. Haven't watched it in ''years''. * This troper has a friend who's seen ''BringItOn'' over a hundred times. For some reason, they are still friends. * This troper's dad has seen TheEmpireStrikesBack in theaters 18 times. The troper himself? It's a tie between StarTrekVI and StarWars Episode I, both 3 times. * I wanted to thank a friend who introduced me to DrHorribleSingAlongBlog, and told him it's now one of my favourite show. He asked me, jokily, how many times I watched it. My reply: "This week?" ** (about 20 times, if you must know. And that's before I got the DVD)

* When Toy Story 3 came out in theaters, I saw it 4 times. When the DVD came out, I watched it every day for a month. And I'm still watching it bi-weekly, occasionally having a marathon with the first two. I can't begin to explain how awesome this movie is. * My cousin claimed [[OrSoIHeard to have a friend]] who watched {{Titanic}} 21 times. Me and my best friend expressed scepticsm. She came back a few days later, saying that she "mis-remembered" and that the friend in question had watched it "only" seven times. * I couldn't begin to imagine how many times I must have watched the Star Wars movies by now. Having barely been old enough to watch Episodes II and III in the cinema, I've more than made up for not seeing the others with the number of times I've dragged our battered old video cassettes out of the cupboard. They're probably the six most watched movies my entire family owns. ** I also watched The Matrix three times in one week and several times since. Rarely have I come across a movie that mind-blowingly awesome. ** Except for X-Men: First Class. I've already seen that twice in the cinema and it's not even been out a month. ** And don't get me started on any TV series... * This troper watched The Lion King and Simba's Pride every day for over a year when she was about three. And I still love those movies to tiny little peices. My parents can't stand either of the movies. ** Same deal for 101 Dalmatians as well, at the same time as the former two movies. They were regularly interspersed throughout my day when I was little. I was unhealthily obsessed with the franchise for most of my childhood (and STILL obsessed, if you want to know the truth). * This troper saw Titanic twice in one day when it was first released on video (didn't see it in theatres, but I have a friend who saw it three times in theatres). I also watched Speed probably once a week for six months between 1995 and 1996 when my uncle taped it for four year old me (it was also on HBO non-stop). And I saw Wall-E twice in the theatre. * This troper's 6-year-old brother... every time he gets a new DVD, he watches it (and forces '''me''' to watch it with him) at least 28 times ''each.'' Which means I've been forced to watch [[{{Igor}} Igor (48 times),]] [[MonstersVsAliens Monsters vs Aliens (32 times),]] [[BeautyAndTheBeast Beauty and the Beast (40 times),]] [[ChickenLittle Chicken Little (lost count after 60),]] and several others that I can't remember off the top of my head. He usually watches them until he can ''say the lines along with the characters.'' * This troper has seen each of the Harry Potter movies at east 40 times, with Sorcerer's Stone clocking in at over a hundred. I also watched Across the Universe ''at least'' once a day for a few months after I got the DVD. Repeated the action on acquiring Alexander, Inglourious Basterds, and Hostel. ** I seem to have inherited this from my dad, who has seen Tombstone more than a hundred times and many other movies at least 20 or 30. ** This Troper saw all of the films in the original Star Wars trilogy hundreds of times in the years before 1999 when Episode I was released. I would also like to mention that this Troper was born in 1995, and has continued to watch all the films over and over again.

* I've played through ''SilentHill2'' at least six times from 2001 on. Then I discovered that I [[LastLousyPoint accidentally screwed myself out of the bonus that you get for clearing the game with all of the endings]], which means that I'll have to finish it a few ''more'' times if I ever want that bonus. Sigh. * This troper has read ''HarryPotter'' so many times she has had to buy multiple copies of the books because ''they fell apart from being read so much''. She's read them more than a hundred times (in a serious estimate), and has been reading them for about 12 years. I would like to add that I am a walking encyclopedia of ''HarryPotter'', and can quote it from memory. Give me a test, and I won't need the books much if at all. Just to clarify what I mean by just how many books I have, I have 3 paperbacks, 4 hardbacks (including the Special Edition), and 1 compressed, travel-sized paperback of ''SorcerersStone'' ''alone''. The numbers aren't quite so absurd when you get up to the last three, where I have 2 paperbacks and a hardback of ''OrderOfThePhoenix'', and a paperback and a hardback of the last two. I like to have at least one hardback and one paperback of each (and the compressed versions, because they're cute, the rest of them are ones I had to get because I assasinated my copy via multiple readings). I hold the record for the most times a ''HarryPotter'' book has been checked out at my elementary school and the public libraries. I also went out of my way to get a tie and sweater in Ravenclaw's book colors (blue/bronze), and get a blue-lined cloak for the last film. Am I obsessed? You better bet yo' ass I am. I have the same issue with the films, although I only have a single copy of each. Can quote those verbatim, often complete with gesturing and perfect timing. [[AndNowForSomethingCompletelyDifferent This also applies to most Disney films.]] ---Go back and read [[SawStarWarsTwentySevenTimes this page]] another ninety-three times. ----

SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud We know there are people out there who do this in real life. Admit it here. * This Troper will turn the volumn down in video games so he can make his own sound effects. It's especially apparent in Assassin's Creed, where "Snikt!", "Stab!", "Counter!" and "Leap!" are commonly said. * This Troper likes to say "Boom, headshot" after pulling off a difficult shot with a rifle. Of course, it's pretty silly seeing as how the actual gun makes plenty of noise, and the "Boom, headshot" is just barely whispered. ** I do the same for headshots, sometimes replacing "head" with a fitting part when I kill with other shots. "Boom, legshot." I also use sarcastic or mocking "Ka-boom!", "Ka-ping!", "Splat!" and "Yoink!". * ThisTroper has resorted to sound effects many times in order to explain what he's saying or to accompany certain actions. He mostly uses nonsense syllables, but it's apparently been done so often, it

became a [[CharacterTics Character Tic]]. * This troper has recently begun saying "woink" when calling up information on his laptop. * [[{{Nomic}} This troper]] says sound effects aloud quite a lot. Usually "crash" "bang" or "blargh". He also has an annoying habit of saying "lol" or "lulz" in real life. ** This troper also says "lolz" or "El-oh-el" and "Oh-em-gee!" Also, on particular occasions(okay, one occasion, namely dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween), "wink!" ** [[LightHawk This troper]] also does that, he also has a habit of verbalizing emotes as well, most commonly with * shrug* . ** My friends and I pronounce it "lawl." I actually thought that was how it was supposed to be read/said until I heard someone say "L-O-L." ** And another one. I accidentally say lol in conversation at times, mostly because I have a habit of verbalizing, at least mentally, what I'm typing, and so get into the habit of saying "lol" in my vast amounts of time spent on the computer. ** I also tend to say "lol" - as a whole word, not as "l-o-l"(I actually cringe a bit when I hear it "pronounced" like that) Also, I've said "wtf"(also as a whole word) and "roflmao". * My brother makes video games noises while playing video games. he also spazms around, to the point that I refuse to stand within ten feet of him when we're playing the Wii. * This troper tends to begin every morning by humming the [[VideoGame/SuperPaperMario]] level intro jingle and end every day with the VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor end of chapter song. * [[{{Joysweeper}} This troper]] sometimes says/breathes "Deep sigh!" when things seem to call for it. * Headshots and other acts of exquisite violence, when performed ingame by [[JohnZ this troper]], are ''always'' announced with a loud "BOOM!" followed by at least three seconds of highly disturbing laughter. This period is noticeably longer when the act involves significant amounts of high-powered explosives. * This troper has a habit of saying 'scream' and 'sigh' instead of actually screaming or sighing. She also makes 'fwoosh' noises when she swings her arms, and says 'bang' when she plays video games with guns in them. * Wow, soul twins. * This Troper's biology teacher makes up a sound effect for everything. * One of this troper's lecturers would use a sound effect best described as "fwip" for curly arrows. * This troper has a habit of saying sound effects out loud with absolutely no context behind it whatsoever. Thwunk. (This troper may well be a [[CloudCuckoolander Cloud Cuckoolander]].) * [[{{Azaram}} This troper]] does tech support, and while working on a computer will mumble 'doot' and 'doink' to himself while clicking on things to the confusion of the users occasionally. He explains that he doesn't have speakers on his computer so he has to do his own sound effects. * This troper doesn't think he ever actually just sighs anymore without actually saying "Sigh..." This occurrence is surpassed only by

the expression "Swish swish clank clank". * [[JohnnyBGoode This troper]] says "YOINK!" when yanking something away from someone. * [[MrGuy This troper]]'s list includes: ** YOINK ** SIGH ** ROLL ** BONK ** ZZZ ** DOINK ** PEW-PEW ** [[TheLegendOfZelda DOODLE-DE-DOO]] ** And various other noises when thinking of a hypothetical video game. * This troper likes to say "GASP!" when he's unimpressed. * [[Tropers/{{Numbuh9494}} This troper]] is commonly known for saying "Beep!" whenever the school bell rings. She also likes to say "Sigh" or "le gasp!" She is also known for making noises that sound suspiciously like lightsabers whenever she whips around a flashlight. * This troper's mother does this. "So you drive down that street, brum brum brum, then take a right at the roundabout, screeeeech, then off again, brum brum brum..." * Whenever this troper cricks his neck or stretches, he makes mechanical clicking noises not unlike machine gears. * This troper says "sigh" instead of sighing. Whenever he's hit by something, he yells out some nonsense syllable like "toonk!" * [[{{Gobolt}} This troper]] doesn't so much as say the sound effects out loud as instead making the sound effects with his mouth whenever even remotely applicable. * This troper, when preparing to cause an explosion or gib someone's body parts in a video game, likes to say "Kaboom," or "Kablam," before firing. * This Tropette has a problem with this. Clap, yawn, deep sigh, smack, yoink, beep, deet-deet, and flip. The latter is used to make boring books more interesting. Actually, all sound effects can make boring books more interesting. It's how I got through OfMiceAndMen. * This troper is fond of saying "bonk" or "boing" when something abruptly dawns on her. Her husband, meanwhile, has a tendency to say "schwick, schwick" while pantomiming movements, such as hanging up an invisible coat in a wardrobe we don't presently own but wish to acquire. * Admits proudly to to singing Paper Planes by [[{{ptitlerxsk4f56}} M.I.A.]] by actualy saying *[=BoomBoomBoomReloadCashRegisterOpening=]* Cue weird stares from everyone. * [[JohnnyBGoode This troper]]'s favorites are "ZING!", "BIFF!", and "BOING-OING-OING-OING..." I have a friend who says "hoppity-hop, hop, hop" when a video game character hops. * I say "OM NOM NOM" sometimes before eating. Of course, I have found out that saying it with food in your mouth actually DOES chew the food pretty well... * This troper has a jerk ass friend who sometimes says munch, chew, swallow, gulp, slurp, etc. while other people eat on lunch hour.

* This troper and her brother both do this. Her brother says "click" repeatedly, in steadily rising volume, when a page loads slowly, while she tends to say "sigh" in lieu of actually sighing. "Poke" is also a favorite, though that might be more of an example of CallingYourAttacks. * When he's instant messaging someone on AIM and has the sound off, this troper will instinctively imitate the message send noise ("doodle-oot"). And on more than one occasion he's pointed a banana at friends like a pistol and "shot" them with the appropriate sound effects. Oh, and now it seems he's started with a ''sneaking'' sound effect, or a mock one anyway, a sort of quiet "ch ch ch". For instance, if the dog really wants him to play ball, but he has something important to do or just doesn't feel like it, he'll throw it once, then quickly "ch ch ch" his way to his room while the dog's still running after it. * This troper and her fiance both are known to say, "ZOMG!" when presented with something interesting, although instead of saying "Zee Oh Em Gee", we usually just say "Zomjuhge". ** Perfectly normal, I do that too. ** Hmm, this troper pronounces it in a high pitched "Zhyomaiguod"... yeah... * Kaelis Ra tends to say weapon sounds. click-clack. boom. * This troper does that with a light switch. Clicka-clicka. * One of this troper's favorites is "twitch, twitch," for when an actual eye-twitch might not get noticed. I also tend to say "sigh," usually with heavy vocal emphasis. * In this troper's case it might be quicker to list the sound effects he DOESN'T say out loud. * This troper uses 'twitch' 'rawr' 'ha' (not laughing, just saying ha). * [[{{Quillpaw}} This troper]] ''loves'' to do this. She's been known to used "yoink", "rawr" "eeech!" (a noise for a screeching halt), "flump" or "fwump" when sitting, and "whap!" when she pretend bitchslaps someone. Also "twitch...twitch..." when she wants her insanity emphasised. She also tends to go "grumblegrumble" instead of grumbling. * This Troper likes to say "Sweatdrop". Another friend says "Doink" for a sweatdrop. * [[{{Magus}} This Troper]] makes a noise somewhat like a gust of wind when dramatically brandishing an important document or hand-held object. * This troper yells out "ONG-BAK!" when he launches a flying knee. ** This troper does the same, but with his elbow. * This troper's brother actually says the word "Sigh," in a sad and dejected voice whenever he's upset. This troper herself has been known to make a "Pyoink!" sound to symbolize a sweatdrop, "Phwaaah/Gragh" when upset, and "BAM!" whenever she hits something. * [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] often says "Dot dot dot" (quite often making three dots in a row in the air with her finger), "Yoink!", "[[TheLegendOfZelda DAH-DAH-DAH-DAAAAH!]]", and "[[FinalFantasy Doodoo-do-doo-doo-dooo-DO-DO-DOOOO!]]" * [[{{Kaizykat}} This Troper]] will often say "BING!" when an idea

strikes her, and has been known to make some rather interesting noises when she narrates stories. Most of the sound effects stay in her head, though. * I picked up this habit from my mom, and tend to say things like "ZOOOOM!" or "FOOOOM!" or "SHWOOOOM!" or some variation thereof. * This troper is vaguely concerned to realize that he quietly adds sound effects when he looks around quickly before rounding a corner, moving past a Stop sign, or entering a crowded room. The exact sound would probably be something like a "Fwwwt," made by short bursts of air through the lower lip and upper front teeth. * One of this troper's best friends used to have a kid in his school who would say ka followed by the name of whatever he was doing, at first he would just say kapunch and things like that when fighting, but eventually he ended up saying that for pretty much everything he did. Funny, but also quite tragic. ** This troper finds that hilarious. "Ka-eat!" "Ka-walk!" "Ka-answer phone!" * Whenever I play the UFC 2009 game and use Cro Cop, I yell "HEAD KICK" whenever I use his legendary head kick. Insert victory dance when I knock them out >=D * I do this all the time. My friend even said that he thought the explosion sound I was making was real. * This troper's friend has taken to saying "sigh in distress..." while sighing melodramatically constantly, even though I am pretty sure that you can only sigh in melancholy, relief, etc. * This troper uses lots of random sound effects, usually said in a quiet tone to get a cuteness effect. "Tump tump tump" for going up or down stairs, "bew" for going off to do something, and "hop!" when hopping over an obstacle are a few examples. She also says "gack!" instead of "ow!" or when caught by surprise. * This troper combines it with the UnsoundEffect. With ''[[TvTropesWillRuinYourVocabulary tropes]]. Among other, normal SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud. * This troper does this whenever he is playing battle scenes. He makes gun noises, explosion noises, swords-hitting-swords noises, screams, and even says "Fire!" when looking at something like a cannon. This has bled over into his real life, when he frequently says things like "Fire!" to himself at random points in time. My mother also did it once, because a guy passed her on the road. She said "I'm gonna blow your doors off!" and when she passed him, she went "Whoosh!" * This troper sometimes stops herself from yawning by inhaling and flatly saying, "YAWN." * This troper, when he is feeling random, tends to do this in school to two people in his homeroom when they are having a heated...discussion. (Thankfully, they don't mind. Or they don't care.) * A friend of this Troper has a habit of making "vroom-vrrom-VROOM!" noises... while driving a car. * [[{{Eisenblume}} This Troper]] uses this all the time. * Sigh* when frustrated as well as * boooom* when something, you know, goes boom, thanks to a childlike joy of explosions. But he uses everything, both western and Japanese ones all the time.

* This Troper tends to do this alot. Sometimes, they are actual soundeffects (if she's running, she might say "tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh" as her feet hit the ground) but it might just be "run, run," as well. * this troper's brother is rather fond of "Ka-SHANK!", apparently. * [[SovietKitty This troper]] goes, "Siiiiiigh," when bored or frustrated, and likes to hold [[KnifeNut shiny knives]] up to the light and go "[[GratuitousJapanese kira kira]] [[{{Yangire}} kira kira]]~." * I, RedStormtrooper, He who needs to get an account, can imitate multiple types of gunfire, from Bushmaster Chain Guns (DUN DUN DUN DUN) to Miniguns (KEEEEE...RRRRRSH) to Bolt-Action Rifles (Pop Clackclick-click-clack) and Shotguns (PUM Click-click). His favorite: the Flak 38. "THUM THUM THUM THUM." Second Favorite? M1 Garand. "POP POP POP PING!" * This troper has a habit of saying "Achoo" sarcastically after sneezing. Also, and this might not count, sometimes when someone tells her they need to use the bathroom, she says "BAM! Tinkle time!" This results in very weird looks. ** This troper seems to have acquired the habit of saying "Achoo" ''whilst'' sneezing. * This plus UnsoundEffect equals over 50% of HomestarRunner fans. Just take a noun (also works somewhat with verbs and adjectives), add "'d", put in all-caps except for "I"s, and say it with a Narrator Strong Bad impression. -->[-[=TROPER TALES'D!=]-] * This troper, when laughing alot, likes to say the word laugh right after it. It goes like, "Hahahahahahaha! Laugh." You know, [[CaptainObvious just in case they didn't get it.]] * If applause doesn't come right away (or the ending of whatever I'm doing isn't obvious), this troper will start saying "clap clap clap", though in this case it may be more of a suggestion than anything... * This troper gets lost in conversation often and tends to say "...?" out loud. * [[{{TeamFortress2}} KA-BOOM!]] None of this troper's friend's, nor he knows why. * This troper has a multitude of examples: ** She says "knock knock" far more often than she actually knocks. (Somewhat justified as it's hard to knock on open doors.) She also says "nom nom" while nomming things, the occasional "yoink," and tends to summarize Shakespeare with sound effects. ** She has had debates with her father over the correct onomatopoeia to use for various situations (she maintains to this day that a paperback book hitting the plastic inside of a car door, spine first, does not go "whump"). ** Her sister once called her to ask her to help spell an intake-ofbreath noise so she could text it to someone. ** Recently, she and her roommate were in a production of Discworld/WyrdSisters, playing Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, respectively. During the play scene near the end, her roommate was directed to throw walnuts at the "stage." She proceeded to line the nuts up on the edge of the balcony and flick them off, saying "pew pew!" as she did. It was all this troper could do to keep a straight

face. * One of my co-workers responded to something funny by saying "lol" instead of just laughing, and was rightly mocked for it. * [[SquealingSandry This troper]] has "Yoink!" for snatching something away from someone. She also writes characters saying it in her fanfics. * I sometimes mutter "scribblescribblescribble" when actually scribbling or make a bing/bonk sort of sound when I find something I have been looking for. Oh, and I might utter a ([=TF2=]-inpired) "OmNom-Nom" when I see someone eating with overly pronounced jaw movement. * This troper makes a "Waaaah" sound when someone fails miserably. Sounds kind of like a duck. * This troper's younger brother has a fondness for saying 'lol'. This troper himself prefers 'Sigh' and 'Eyeroll' (usually as a reaction to the aforementioned 'lol'), with the occasional 'Poke!' * This troper often sings the Final Fantasy victory fanfare when something good happens. "Papapapa-pa-pa-pappapaaaaaa!" * I like to say Kabloooiee! with my Mark Hamill Joker voice or TA-DAH with my Heath Ledger Joker voice. A LOT. * Aside from sharing many of these, such as saying "sigh," This Troper has devised "schwa." "Schwa" is essentially any movement whatsoever, meant to represent the sound of wind blowing past the moving limb. I use it always. * One of this troper's friends makes Wookie noises. The same friend also has a "tiny lasers" noise. ''pewpewpew!'' * This Troper says "Yawn" when yawning. Once me and my friend had our hands full at a concert, and simply said "Clap Clap Woo" at the end of each peice. * This troper has a nasty habit of ruining friends' concentration by starting fake conversations with another friends filled with this. -->"So he [[IThoughtItMeant broke his stick against the ball]], ''[[{{Squick}} crack, phut, thud]]''..." ** Also, he likes narrating his friend's ''StarWars'': Clone Wars comic, with various character impersonations and (according to others) highly amusing blaster sound effects. Doing the sound effects of a Republic gunship strafing droids is very fun, to say the least. * When something happens (dosn't have to be surpising or anything) This Toper often goes "Gaspeth" And has taken to saying 'Jiii..."when she's staring at something. * [[Tropers/ProdigalDaughter This troper]] has quite a lot of these-most prominently, she says "Oh-toh-toh-toh--" when off-balance, in time with her hopping around rebalancing, "Click!" when turning on the kettle, and various permutations of "sleeeeeeep" when she's failing to do just that. * [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} I]] don't know if it really counts, but one time when playing [[GarrysMod Trouble in Terrorist Town]] with a few friends, I killed the lone traitor via a single shot with the Desert Eagle, winning the round, and typed "Boom." I went with it later, after a round where I was the traitor and killed everyone else with a silenced pistol, by typing [[UnsoundEffect "Paf."]] * This Troper tends to narrate what she is doing. If she drops

something, she says "drop." If she trips, she says "fall." She usually turns sighs into sighing the word "sigh." Will also say "yawn" on occasion. When she catches herself doing it in public or with friends, she also starts berating herself out loud for doing so. I have issues. * This Troper does it so much, that it's pretty much automatic. Me and my friends are well known for verbalizing emotes, such as 'lol' or 'rofl'. * This Troper actually says [[UnsoundEffect *Unsound* Effects]]. Most recently, when providing my roommate with his clean laundry, I said, "*provide*". * [[{{Tropers/GuyP3rs0n}} This Troper]] actually tends to make the sound effects instead of saying them. Mainly when I'm play some sort of FPS. * [[{{@/Tidal_Wave_17}} This troper]] makes little sounds like "Boink" when poking someone or "Pwish" when he swings his arm around to give a playful little punch. His mother thinks its childish, but its kind of his [[AdultChild thing.]] * I'm good at sound effects. Often times I'll do my own sound effects in recordings and stuff. But for the rare scenario involving ADateWithRosiePalms, rather than making [[{{Squick}} actual masturbation noises]] I'll just say "Fap fap fap" in the most monotone, deadpan voice possible. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper's]] friend does it to the point where it grates on my nerves. She goes "shimmy, shimmy" when she's scootching over, a sound like "pokki, pokki" at various times, and goes "err-ERR, err-ERR" when she squeezes something... And various other noises... Granted, I also make my own sound effects too, just not so freaking often. * This Troper and her sister were trained to do this from a young age by their father, much to the annoyance of everyone around us. Our current favorites include 'KAPOW!' and 'DONK!". * This troper was just in a production of ''TheRockyHorrorShow''. During rehearsals, the guy playing Riff Raff would just say "Laser!" when shooting Frank and Rocky, since we didn't have sound effects yet. When we finally did get them, most of us decided we liked the vocal version better. Something about the guy's BadAss voice. * This troper says "sob" rather a lot to indicate her sarcastic sadness. * This troper went through a phase of supplying her Star Trek Online spaceship with extra sound effects and regularly fires finger lasers with a "pew pew!." Also, she can't hold a torch or indeed a stick without waving it around a bit making lightsaber noises. Also, any onomatopoeic sound effects in books are imitated under her breath, much to the annoyance of her friends. * This troper has a friend who likes to go "jiiiiiiiiiii~" when he's staring at someone to make them laugh, and makes various sound effects by herself, bordering on narrating what she's doing. ---And... Click! You're back to SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScannableMan * This troper knows a person who has tattooed his library card barcode on his wrist. ** He must've really liked reading. * A friend of this troper considers having tattoos of laundry-care symbols. ** Dry clean only? *** [[BodyHorror Do not bleach]]! **** Handle with care? **** The winner has to be the wallpaper symbol for "strippable"... * This troper's driver's license has a barcode on the back side. When he found out about this fact, he considered tattooing it into some convenient location, such as his wrist. Then FridgeLogic kicked in, reminding him that his driver's license changes every ten years, and the barcode would probably change as well. It was a good idea, though. * Someone had seen [[{{Terminator}} Terminator Salvation]] ''way'' too many times. At this troper's school, someone wrote an article in the school newspaper that barcode tattoos would be the new ID system. The cover picture looks a student who would be in the resistance. The writer ''says'' the principal said "Things will be a lot more efficient around here...my way or the highway." ** Doesn't help that I am a [[ParanoiaFuel Terminator-phobic]]. If this wasn't a [[spoiler: Joke]] issue, then I would have asked to transfer to another school. ** When I saw this, I immediately thought it was [[Viral Marketing]] for the movie. The title is used ''directly'' in another article. ** [[spoiler: April Fools Issue!]] * Thos troper is planning to get her SSN turned into a barcode and tattooing it somewhere on her body. [[CrazyPrepared You know, just in case they find my body and my face is unrecognizable. Or if I lose all memory of who I am.]] ---Press your wrist to the reader to re-enter ScannableMan. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScareChord * Whenever her friends overreact over something This Troper finds trivial, she ''says'' dun-dun-DUNNN in a low, menacing voice. * When ThisTroper was in middle school, his class was divided into groups and each group had to create a skit on a different major group that settled the west. It became a running gag in the people who did the Mormons that whenever the word "Mormon" was mentioned, someone offstage would make a noise. ** May this Mormon say that that is ''still'' funny? A little offensive, but RuleOfFunny is in full effect. * [[{{Gabel}} This troper's]] friend once did a scare chord melody when a teacher gave us an assignment. To this day it lives on. * There are a few instances where I wasn't scared by some event, but I was scared by someone else being scared by it. Funny how that works.

* The Organist at [[AdamS This Troper]]'s church does this every year at Tenebrae (a service done entirely by candle light) to represent the death of Christ. Even though I know it's coming, it gets me every time. * This troper's friend who is both an aspiring musician and a latin enthusiast made some OminousLatinChanting themes for some characters, the three [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel most frightening]] are: Hellish Lady[[spoiler: its actually about someone causing the end of all life due to misery]], Ballad of the Wolf King[[spoiler: its about people worshiping a king like a god, and then sacrificing themselves]], and lastly Ulqipadh Norkein[[spoiler: its about an ancient deity tentacle raping someone in front of its cultists, who are chanting]]. ** [[MemeticMutation Links or it didn't happen.]] * [[SonicLover This Troper]] (first person hereafter) got one of these by accident. I've got an older computer that was programmed to play clock chimes on the hour (no good reason, I was just messing with the settings at the time). I was playing an old computer game on said computer, and during one cutscene, the ''exact same second'' that the antagonist made a surprise appearance and caught the protagonist "mingling with the enemy" in her words, the first of the 5:00 chimes sounded. Admittedly a grandfather clock chime makes a lousy ScareChord, but it deserves a mention for how hilariously perfect the timing was. ** This troper had a bunch of voice clips of the Designated Antagonist Saavedro from [[MystSeries Myst III: Exile]] speaking as her sound scheme on her old laptop. One time I was playing ''Myst III: Exile'' and I got to a point where I was in Saavedro's very creepy lair (and Myst fans will know precisely what I am talking about), before Saavedro leaves the Age or even the building you're standing in (he's in the upper levels of it). I was examining something on the desk, getting really into the game. Cue my computer notifying me that I had an email with a creepy response of, "Hello, Atrus..." Brix were shat. * This troper uses it whenever discussing ''{{FATAL}}'s'' Random Magical Effects (dum-dum-DUUUUMMM) table. * Due to her not [[LonersAreFreaks being that sociable a person]], whenever [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] gets a text message on her phone, it acts as a {{Scare Chord}} for her. Cue moments when she'll be walking around in public, and will practically jump out of her skin as [[{{Raven}} James MacKenzie]] commands out of her phone to [[{{Raven}} "Let the challenge...begin!"]]. * The school at which this troper's parents work, they recently did a musical based on the works of TheBeatles. One RunningGag was that every time someone said "[[TheWizardOfOz Yellow Brick Road]]", there'd be a da-da-da-DUMMMMM scare chord from the musicians. The characters started referring to it as the Abbey Road, and the narrator repeatedly threatened to go down and sort out the musicians if they did it one more time. * This troper was in a play, and they literally said, "Dun dun dun!" offscreen at scary parts. Or parts that aren't scary. The characters in the play [[LampshadeHanging commented on it.]] * [[{{Neakal}} This Troper]] had one as part of a dream. I dreamt that I was walking in an empty street, surrounded by animals that had some

very high levels of {{Uncanny Valley}} going on, and hearing a music from a radio in the distance. I come across a dog who is sitting on my path and seems normal. I kneel by it and pet it. The music from the radio is suddenly interrupted with a single, short burst of high pitched sound and I suddenly realise that the dog is just as wrong as the rest of the animals (it has no eyes). And that it is about to kill me. * This troper was in a play where at certain intervals, everyone backstage would collectively say, "Dun dun DUN!" And though the cord was often totally scattered, it was made funny by a character onstage saying, "[[MediumAwareness Where is that music coming from?!]]" * When [[@/{{Tadaru}} this troper]] was playing EverQuest, one of these played when he entered some area. It was the same sound as the one that plays when you die, though he wasn't dead. It freaked him the hell out. * Same troper as the last bullet point. The earthquake warning sound on the news (I'm not far from the Sendai quake at this moment). Holy shit. * This troper messed with some players in {{Dungeons and Dragons}} they were walking through a room with a bunch of torture equipment they remembered seeing a bunch of musical instruments where they came in. Than they heard the sound of a violin slowly being played.Vumm than nothing vvvumm than nothing. Something walks by them and they hear Vumm really loudly . ---Oh god, the ScareChord... it's escaped! (duhn duhn, duhn!) ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScareTheDog * CoyoticEvil: I get barked at quite a bit of the times I meet dogs, for no apparent reason. If I just stand there and stare at them, walk towards them, or stomp loudly, they run away eventually. * This Troper had a dog growing up. Everyday, he would step outside to the garage where his pet dog slept under a workbench (he had a nice bed under ther ein case you're wondering) and feed him before going to school. One day, he dressed up for a school Halloween Party as Judge Ito from the OJ Trial since it was still ongoing at the time. He stepped out to the garage to feed the dog without thinking about the fact that he now had a black robe, fake beard, dyed black hair, and glasses. The dog came out from under the work bench once he heard This Troper coming and promptly froze in his tracks upon seeing the Troper. Once he heard his voice, the dog was content and happily ate his food. * This troper's father inadvertently did this a lot. We live on a secluded, wooded few acres, and my dad would often dress up in old clothing to go do yardwork outside. Our dog, a beagle who has never hunted in her life, would consistently go into 'hell hound' mode (lots of howling and going nuts around our back door/windows) whenever she saw him walking across our backyard in his unfamiliar clothing. ** In a different vein, when our beagle still had her hearing, you

could really freak her out by talking through a wrapping paper tube. It distorted your voice just enough that she was completely terrified. * My friend had a poorly trained dog that would bark nonstop and yip all the time at anyone she (the dog) was unfamiliar with. She wasn't easily intimidated either, you could stomp or shout and the dog would just stay put, yammering away. Well, one day my friend's grandfather (who apparently ''hates'' dogs) came for a visit and in the middle of his visit the dog woke up and started barking at him. After a half minute of barking, the grandfather broke off the conversation he was having and just ''stared'' at the dog, not moving and not making any noise. The dog quickly shut up and fled, obviously frightened, to a secluded room in the back of the house, where she '''''refused''''' to come out until the grandfather had left. ---Go back to [[ScareTheDog Yip! Yip! Yip!]] <<|TroperTales|>>

ScarsAreForever * This Troper's skin is always covered with little, temporary scars, but she has three that are Forever - first on her thigh, shaped like a star, which she made at the age of 11 with her own nail. She has no idea why would she do that. Second is on the left palm, near the thumb, where she was curious about how deep a little, clearly visible vein was. It was deeper than she expected, but she still decided to go on cutting until she reached it. The third scar is on her chin, from a childhood accident, when she stabbed herself with a dull, plastic knife from a toy kitchen set. She knows it from her parents, for she was too young too remember and still has some difficulties believing it. * This troper has her share of odd scars, most notably a splotchy one on her knee and a crisscross thing on her hand, (from a cat) but is fascinated by a scar belonging to her father. It's on the back of his head, and hair won't grow there; he got it from a bit of metal when he was really young, but it's still very visible. * This troper accidentally scraped a diagonally line in her forehead when she was six (she fell and her glasses pushed so hard that the metal of the nose piece broke the skin on her forehead). She's never been teased about it cause it's rather hard to see, but one friend did take a picture of my forehead and sent it to her Harry Potter loving friend. I should have learned my lesson, the only reason I still have this thing after 8 years is because I was always picking the scab too soon. I still pick my scabs, probably the reason this other scar from a cat scratch never went away. The lesson to be learned? Don't pick scabs before they heal. * [[Tropers/FuzzyBoots I]] have a number of scars on my body that I've kept since childhood ranging from a long ropey one on my thumb from a ceramic lampshade suddenly breaking from the ceiling and slashing open my thumb to a long line where my sister decided to open up the side of my arm with her fingernails in a fit of pique to more picayune ones like the various mosquito bite scars. Some of it's because I tended to

pick a lot at wounds as a kid (well, and the thumb one was sewn up by our family doctor who later admitted he had no experience with how to put in stitches) and some of it's because the scars really mean something to me, about where I've been and where I've come from. * I have numerous scars (mostly on my hands) from various incidents in my past. I have a jagged one on the back of my left hand at the base of my thumb where a heat gun burned me when I was 7. I have a bulbous on on the back of my left hand from a piece of sheet metal. I also have a scar on the left side of my face (my left side is a magnet for injuries) from something when I was a baby. * The mosquito bites that I kept picking at when they scabbed over has left a few dots on my skin that haven't gone away even though it's been like ten years. * This troper has a scar on the underside of her left forearm, right above the elbow. It happened when she cut herself with scissors, intentionally. Her mom wants her to get it removed, but she refuses, as it reminds her not to cut again. She also makes no real attempt to hide it, and if people notice it, she tells them the truth about it, because she's tired of the stigma around self-harming. * Funnily enough, averted on this troper. Most of the scars I've ever gotten are nigh indistinguishable from the rest of my skin. * This troper has a three-inch scar running from the base of his thumb to his wrist bone. It's noticeable enough that he's frequently asked if he had carpal tunnel surgery. He got the scar while playing a board game. * This troper has a short scar on her forehead from where she cracked her head open falling down some stairs at a young age. It's nearly invisible these days, but is still there. * [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} This troper]] had a rather... [[{{Understatement}} unfortunate]] encounter with a cocker spaniel when she was four. Nearly sixteen years later, the scar is still there. I've had a couple operations to move it and make it less visible, but you can still see it. It's been awhile since anyone's asked me how I got it, and my mother claims that she doesn't even notice it. I'm the one who notices it the most, but then, it's on ''my'' face. It doesn't bother me as much now, but when I was little (and the scar was still relatively fresh)? It gave me some... selfesteem issues. * This troper scratched several (maybe 6) scars into his back, i hate ring worm. * This troper has loads of scars, thanks to his crappy luck, but two most visible ones are horizontal scar on the forehead he got when his brother tripped him towards our TV when we played as kids, and thanks to this tropers hairstyle it is in plain view and highly visible even after 12 years. Another scar (well two in fact) he got when hes friend had just gotten himself a new (Really Big) dog. Naturally this idiot troper went to stroke it and instantly got bitten for it. Penetrated all the way to muscle and left two quite large scars on his arm. * This troper has a burn scar on my left hand from accidently pouring boiling water on it when I was 5. However it just looks like a reddish mark. * Besides the usual "picked at her wounds when she was a kid" scars,

this troper still has her appendectomy scar, and one nearly invisible one by her eye where one of her family's past dogs bit her when she was little. * This troper was born when they were phasing out smallpox vaccination. My mother remembered that my older sister had been vaccinated, and my younger had, but not about me. Then one day I realized I had a scar on my arm and pointed it out -- yup, a smallpox vaccination scar. * Okay, all the usual bumps and scrapes for this troper, including a big old gash in his calf from breaking into a house (it was my house...[[NoodleIncident long story]].) But the true 'forever' scar? A slash across my cheek, caused by my too-long fingernails at ''less than a day old''. * When this troper was born, the bones in her feet weren't aligned correctly, so she had to have surgery done on them. There is still a very long obvious scar all along her foot from it that raises lots of questions whenever she goes barefoot or wears sandals. * A broken glass sliced off two spots of skin of the back of Edgy's right hand. Meh. * This troper fell down hard on the floor when he was five, opened up his chin, refused to get stitches, and thus he was left with a scar. He has another scar on his leg from an operation, another on his back from another operation, and a scar on his wrist from an injury he received as a baby. * This Troper has two scars. Both are on her left knee. One is a small, deep one that was caused by the incident which made her forever averse to riding bikes (specifically, the time she got gashed in the knee by the crank). The other is from a nasty fall that she took (she was running on an incline to catch a bus, lost her balance, fell, and ''slid''; she also injured her right knee, palm and elbow, but those did not leave scars) which led to her diagnosis with vasovagal syncope (basically, if she is in pain or suffers blood loss, her heart rate and blood pressure both go down and she faints). * When This Troper was really young, she had a lymphatic cyst on her right leg, just above the knee. It wasn't cancerous or anything, and I didn't NEED to have it removed...but it was a very obvious, hairy (eeewww) and it kept getting warts on it which, being the hyper little kid I was, I kept knocking them into things, which [[{{Squick}} caused the warts to burst and bleed,]] scaring the crap out of me. I had it removed just before my fourth birthday, and I still have the surgery scar to prove it - it's huge, and it spans about 75% of the width of my leg. * This troper has had acne since the age of 9. It's improved greatly since I turned 18, but my face is still scarred even at 19. It's to the point where nobody can tell if my cheeks are permanently red because of the scars or because of rosacea. I also have a scar on my right knee from falling off a scooter at age 11. It's sort of the same color as the rest of my skin, but still fairly noticeable. And yes, the injury was infected, probably why the scar is still there. * When this troper was a couple weeks old, while his mom was cleaning the house he examined a broken piece of glass too closely and cut under his eye. At 20, it is still clearly visible and the dive can be

felt easily. Additionally a cyst this troper had when about 10 was removed and the scar from its removal can still be seen if people get the chance to look. ----

ScaryShinyGlasses * [[{{Magus}} This troper]] wears glasses and does the pushing-up motion with them occasionally. He's sometimes been able to pull of the shine effect, though usually unintentionally. * This Troper once looked into a large mirror and found that the lighting was giving him a ScaryShinyGlasses effect. It happened while visiting the Tower of London. * I had the idea of creating items that could pull of effects you'd find in animation, this being the first thing I wanted to do. It was just an idea though, I don't really think I'd actually be able to make this stuff. * GentlemensDame883 has friends who deliberately use it for the cool/creepy edge it confers. * This troper was pulling off a senior prank (cup flood) and decided to wears gas mask to the prank for some reason. The other seniors freaked out when they didn't recognize me. I was dressed in all black and the first person noticed me because the lens for the eyes reflected the lighting. I was told several times throughout the night that the refection on the lenses was really creeping everyone out. * [[{{Nomic}} This troper]] managed to unintentionslly creep his brother out with ScaryShinyGlasses once. He was sitting in his room, when he brother entered and upon turning towards him the light from the table lamp reflected off his glasses, making them appear all shiny. The effect was further enchanced by the fact that it aws rather late and the room was mostly dark, with the table lamp as the only light source. * Me in a movie theater. O.O * This troper unintentionally pulled this off at a halloween party; my costume included a fidora and when we were watching a movie my face was entirely in shadow except for the reflection of the screen off my glasses. * This troper has a friend. He is combination of ScaryShinyGlasses and CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass. The lecturer once gave a question (about binary number). While I and otther friends just about to count, he had answered it, CORRECTLY. And he was doing this effect while answering. * [[{{GeneralKrad}} This troper]] has unintentionally invoked this trope, on numerous occasions: ** 1) I was in hihghschool. We were taking a break from out usual lesson for the teacher to ask us, the students, what we wanted to do when we grew up. When they came to me, my glasses shined as I gave my answer, which creeped the class out more than the answer did in itself. ** 2) My school's anime club of all places. We were watching Neon Genesis Evangelion when this happened: the student at the project said he didn't understand why the others thought the show was nightmare fuel and said nothing scared him...I tapped his shoulder to say

"really now" and when he looked he freaked out and alter said I looked like Alucard from Hellsing when I taped his shoulder. And this all happened when Gendo's glasses shined too... ** 3) My girlfriend and I were at one of her friends' home when the light went out (but not the tv). Her friend looked at me to ask me to check the light switch, when she screamed. My glasses had been shining thanks to the tv's light. * In my school's marching band, we have this one senior guy who plays the flute. He's generally a nice and amiable guy, but God forbid if he catches you [[BerserkButton endangering a flute]], like those two girls who were tossing their flutes around like the auxiliaries. He told them from behind, "Are you [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] INSANE?!" And they turned around just in time to see this SlasherSmile and a glint off his glasses. He's like the only one I know who can scare you at will even with [[HandicappedBadass a bum knee]]. * [[{{Tropers/NotATerrorist}} This troper]] has done it occasionally. * [[Tropers/KamuiValentine This troper]] recently bought a pair of pink sunglasses that invoke this surprisingly well in her French Revolution role playing class. Since she's TheStrategist and TheManBehindTheMan it's worked quite well when she wants to look threatening while retaining the look innocence. * A similar effect was achieved when a projector's light shone directly onto this Troper's face during an English story-telling session. Helps that this Troper was telling a ghost story. ---Go back to * sha-keen* ScaryShinyGlasses. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SceneryPorn Have a beautiful scenery around place where you live, or visited personally? Share with us! ---* There are some corner's of my high school which can be really good SceneryPorn. Too bad I don't own a decent camera... * I think everywhere is/has the potential to be scenery porn. I live on the coast of Cornwall, England, and it's one of the most beautiful places I've been. [[http://i55.tinypic.com/2rhodwp.jpg Here]] and [[http://i52.tinypic.com/v3lzkg.jpg here]] are pictures of the beach I live near. * [[TheOtherRainforest Washington]] [[http://wsrporg.homestead.com/somewhere-in-washington-state-11_3.jpg State]]. [[http://i1.trekearth.com/photos/56860/washington.jpg That]] [[http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2141/1681492274_870bea06cf_o.jpg is]] [[http://pics4.city-data.com/cpicc/cfiles38361.jpg all]]. Even the ''[[http://www.glogster.com/media/2/3/79/18/3791858.jpg cities]]''. This troper and her friend grew up there. That friend eventually decided that she wanted to become a photographer. Pictures like the ones this troper just linked to were probably the reason for that. They're the reason this troper wants to be there instead of ''[[OnlyinFlorida here]]''.

** [[{{Tropers/Allronix}} This Troper]] lives in Seattle and totally agrees. Ten years in the city, and I keep finding new reasons to smile. Sure, we get nine months of gray weather, but when the blue sky shows up, you're grateful for it. Heck, after a while, you're grateful for the clouds and rain, too... ** Oh my god, [[Tropers/DRoy I]] want to study abroad there and that just gives me another reason! * @/DesertDragon: When I finally moved out on my own, I wanted someplace with a strong IT field but still a day's drive from my family in {{Cleveland}}. My best bets were {{Chicago}}, Columbus, or {{Pittsburgh}}. Against my better judgement, I chose Pittsburgh because it was the closest and I had a friend to room with. I spent my first couple days in town wondering if I made the right choice (Columbus has a much healthier gay scene, and Chicago is ''Chicago''), then one day I went sight-seeing and rode the Duquesne Incline up Mt. Washington. The view from the top was absolutely breathtaking. Every doubt I had about living in Pittsburgh went away then, since it made me realize that it doesn't have to be Chicago; it has its own identity. And it doesn't need a strong gay scene; I can make my scene wherever I go and find a guy willing to go along for the ride. I've loved it here ever since. * This Floridian Troper will always remember stepping outside of my house into the nearly pitch-black night after Hurricane Ivan blew through, looking up, and seeing the Milky Way firsthand, framed by the trees that were still standing, and then just standing there in awe. Another time, This troper had to drive to South Carolina to pick up a relative, which involved driving through the southern parts of the Appalachian Mountains. It should be noted that this troper has always had a significant fear of heights. Even so, this troper eventually got over his fear long enough to make it to the top of one of the mountains, walk to a balcony hanging over a very long drop, and just take in the numerous mountains and valleys. * The Oregon Coast, all the way. I couldn't stop taking pictures when I visited over spring break, and now my phone has a gratuitous overload of pictures of pretty trees, the ocean, more trees, and mountains, plus some more trees and a little bit more of the ocean. * This editor lives in the Northeastern part of North Carolina (close to the Virginia border), and it is chock-full of SceneryPorn. My personal favorite is Pilot Mountain, but there's also Hanging Rock, Sauratown Mountain (even though it's not a tourist destination by any means - being dedicated to a broadcasting center and some homes - it's absolutely amazing. The huge TV towers at night...), Grandfather Mountain... and that's not even getting into the Blue Ridge mountains. The Appalachians may not be as iconic or towering as the Rockies or Alps, but that doesn't mean they aren't incredibly beautiful. ** To go into detail about Pilot Mountain, it's absolutely essential to actually go up to the park (which is free), where you can go to several easily accessible observation points (although there are hiking trails for more adventurous visitors). One of these is the highest accessible point on the mountain, and it is ''amazing'' especially on a clear day. You can see not only the mountain's Big Pinnacle in front of you, but also the entire Blue Ridge range,

Sauratown Mountain and Hanging Rock (and I'm sure I saw Grandfather Mountain up there), and if it's clear enough, even NC's cities like Winston-Salem, Greensboro and Charlotte. The first time I went up there on a really clear day, it was so amazing and beautiful that it nearly drew ManlyTears.

SchmuckBait * Look what I built. [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/buttonbaitRS.jpg A big red button.]] I will soon have something interesting hooked up to it. What, I don't know. ** Is it sad that, even though I knew it was a picture, I clicked on it several times? ** I suggest you ''don't'' hook anything up to it, except maybe a counter of some sorts to see how many people actually do press it :D ** I second the counter idea. Make it into a sign that reads "(counter) schmucks have taken the bait." ** That sounds like an awesome idea. I should've done that for my science experiment. ** Include a camera with the flash turned off. ** Because nobody can resist pushing that "Big, red threatening button that should never ''ever'' be pushed under any circumstances"!! * [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi I]] may appear skinny standing up, but when I squat, I have rolls. My moment of Schmuck Bait would have to be the New Body Shaper. My mom says no. ... Sure, we have the exercise bike and Ab Scissor, but I tire out after 4 minutes and 59 seconds... T_T * This troper used to always want to click on the "Fart button" ad she always saw, but resisted temptation due to [[GenreSavvy Genre Savviness]]. She maybe only clicked it ''once'' and then immediatedly closed the ad that popped up afterwards. ** [[http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Fart+Button/ Good thing you didn't.]] ** Okay, tell the truth. Is that previous poster's link Shmuck Bait or not? I'm scared to click on it. *** It is not. Pleased to be of service. ** What ''was'' the ad that popped up? *** Dunno. Closed it too fast. * I used to live in a house. In the kitchen, at the top of the stairs above the entrance to the basement, were two switches, on the left was the light switch for the basement, on the right was, that also looked exactly like a light switch, with an almost unreadable brown plate that read "Furnace emergency cut off" which turned off the furnace/air conditioner. Invariably, you can guess every time some visitor came to check the gas meter, or examine something in the basement, which of these got thrown when they went downstairs. I got sick of it, I went over to a hardware store, and for three dollars (vs. the 9c that a switch plate costs or the 49c a light switch assembly costs) I bought a plastic switch that, instead of being a light switch, looks like a shut-off switch, it has a "rod" type throw on it, and does the exact same thing, but it doesn't look like a light switch, it looks like a cut-off switch on an electrical device. I also painted the plate

bright red. So now, when you were at the top of the stairs, you saw a light switch, and a bright red throw switch, and you can guess which one people flipped when they wanted to turn the light on. For the ''next three years'' we lived there, no one ever threw that furnace shut-off switch by mistake again, not a single time. ** Isn't that ANTI-schmuck-bait? The original design was schmuck bait, or at least error bait due to terrible design (it was where you expected the light switch to be. It looks like a light switch. It's poorly labeled so unless you knew to look, you'd think it was just a bank of two light switches. There's very little there that screams "DON'T THROW THIS SWITCH"), and you fixed it. No, schmuck bait would be if every visitor kept throwing your new switch "just to see what it did". *** "no one ever threw that furnace shut-off switch ''by mistake'' again, not a single time." I'm sure somebody threw the switch ''on purpose'' just to see what it did. * This troper once saw several quarters lying on the sidewalk. She looked at them, inwardly rejoiced at her good luck, bent down to pick them up... And discovered that they were glued down. After cursing the foul prankster capable of pulling such a cruel trick, she made a mental note to remember that one for later. ** This troper wonders if the above troper was victim to one of her friends; he first superglued a loonie (the Canadian dollar coin) to the floor in a stairwell with high traffic flow at school and drew a circle around it saying "Free dollar" and took the occasional picture of morons trying to pick it up. Later, he superglued a quarter to the table all his friends were sitting at in the cafeteria. Despite knowing it was glued on, several people still tried to get it off. The loonie did eventually disappear ''somehow''. After this troper mentioned it to her father, he said that it would be funnier to glue a quarter or loonie into the change slot of the vending machines. This troper awaits April Fool's Day. ** This troper had a Chemistry teacher who loved to do that. That is, until some desperate and/or clever bugger managed to unstick the coin and took it. ** This troper fell victim to that exact same trick--except he had just bought a scraper... ** It sounds like you'd still be able to get the qaurters. ** This troper has an (almost) solution to that one. Simply poke it with your toe. If it moves, great! you just got monies! If not, then walk on. This troper has been saved from several instances of the stuck coin trick using that technique. * About a year an a half ago, this troper was actually subject to (and fell for) the old dollar bill fishing trick. Responded with hearty laughter and congratulations to the kids for pulling off such a classic prank. * This troper works as a software engineer in a building of software engineers, who are notorious for our play at work. Our new defribulator looks just like a toy. A bright, shiny, plastic toy. Worse, the alarm on the case is broken and it says "For Emergency Use Only." Already a few people have taken it out to play with it. This troper gives it a week before someone electrocutes themself.

* You know those dashboard stickers in the {{xkcd}} store? With labels such as "Chaos," "Order," "Transform," and "Eject"? This troper stuck "Self-Destruct" under the emergency light-button in his car. Many passengers have pressed it and were disappointed. * Send me 1000 and I'll give you the copious contents of a Nigerian bank account. Yeah right. ** What's your address? I'm interested in the contents of this bank account! * The best conversation starter in my friends' dorm room is a disconnected intercom button with 'Don't Press' written underneath. Everybody pushes it. ** Well then what you have to do is get in there and wire that button to something that makes a hell of a lot of noise--but noise directed right where the button pusher would be standing. ** Similarly, This editor had a doorbell hooked up to his bedroom door, with "DO NOT PUSH" written under it (mainly because the noise was horrible). It got used quite a bit. * This happened (Accidentally) At my High school's drumline. They were coming back from a regional tournament. The co-coach screams out. "Don't look out the left window!" Everyone looks, Everyone Screams. As my friend said "Here is motorcycle guy. Here is motorcycle guy's face." The guy got Decapitated with his face sticking out of his helmet. ** On the same note, this troper was out one summer day in Florida with his uncle riding up the St. John's River in Jacksonville. Said uncle pulls the boat over to see something in the water. Suddenly, he starts yelling "Don't look over there! Get to the other side of the boat!" Of course, I looked immediately... so THAT'S where that man reported missing on the news last seen headed toward a bridge ended up... ** On a less, err, morbid note, this troper always seems to look when told not too. Cue her screaming (jokingly) when she finds out she's been dragged into the Bob the Builder aisle at Walmart... * This troper and her father theorize very strongly that the last thing anyone in this world will ever hear is [[WhatDoesThisButtonDo 'Ooh, I wonder what this button does...]]' Unfortunately, her brother doesn't believe humans are that stupid. ** I think that's from/also from a book... Might've been ''Thief of Time'' by Terry Pratchett... ** Try to remind them that there are still lots of shows that feature videos of people doing stupid things. Judging by how long these shows have been around, and the fact that they seem to be getting more and more new footage, I'd have to agree with you on that one. Humans are indeed that stupid. *** I do believe it is. From memory: 'If you made a device which would blow up the world, set off by a bright red button, surrounded by warning signs in various languages saying "End of the World button. Warning. Do not push." you wouldn't have time for the paint to dry. * This troper's friend has three switches in their living room. One turns on the fan. One turns on the lights. One...does something. Probably in Russia. Nobody knows... ** We have a couple of those. They ''probably'' have something to do

with the previous owner of the house, who (or so I'm told) was on dialysis. These days, they do nothing. ...As far as we can tell. ** I had one of those in my house. The switch was there, wires were connected to it, but it didn't seem to do anything. Over a year later I found that it was wired to half of an outlet (the top plug is always on and the bottom one is controlled by the switch) and I had never plugged anything into that half * During one D&D session with my uncle, my dad, and a guy he worked with, we were investigating an underground building. In one of the first rooms, there was a very obvious trap: A rope hanging down from the ceiling, with a loop tied at the end, laying on the floor, and written in chalk inside the loop is simply the phrase "put fut heer." My uncle's character effortlessly stepped over the loop... and promptly fell into the concealed pit on the other side. I COULD NOT BELEIVE IT. I actually asked him, "have you EVER watched a cartoon in your LIFE?" ** In one of my first D&D sessions, the DM introduced a ''modified'' Deck of Many Things. Which was left there (with a note, even, saying it was his!) by one of the [[BigBad Big Bads]] of the game. Of course, this note encouraged us to play with the deck, but considering that it also said that we'd just killed an innocent man for nothing (which we had; the BigBad was trying to take down his Nemesis by using us as proxies, and had sent us in to...well, you know, by setting it up to make it look like the guy was actually trying to destroy the whole city), and the fact that the note quite openly said that it was a Deck of Many Things, you'd think people would be more careful about using it. In fairness, ''most'' of the players were. Except for two of us. I was playing a RebelliousPrincess who was also bordering on TooDumbToLive outside of combat, drew half the deck, and lucked out by getting nothing worse than one of my allies betraying me within the next seven days (which I promptly negated with one of the two wishes I'd also gotten). The other player, though? She drew ''the whole damn deck''. No, seriously. And then she bitched at the DM when her character's soul got pulled to a prison dimension... ** This troper's DM once created a trap (for a different party) consisting of a pillar with two buttons on it-- one undepressed and the other depressed. A party member pressed the first button, which undepressed the second button and caused spikes to shoot up from the floor directly underneath him. He got out a ten-foot pole and used it to press the other button, which undepressed the first button and caused spikes to shoot up from the floor directly underneath him, ten feet from the buttons. ** This troper ran an RPG (d20 Modern, with plenty of house rules) battle where internet memes were becoming reality (and very hostile). Amidst the confusion, there was a simple calculator left strewn on the battlefield; no explanation was offered, and die rolls for hints yielded nothing of interest. One player, seeing memes made life all around, decided to try to {{Divide By Zero}}. The battle ended immediately with the annihilation of the world. (They Got Better. The world didn't.) *** This was the outcome the GM ''expected'' from this party, mind you.

* My Journalism final happened to be on Anonymous (it was both easier and harder than I expected). When I got to explaining the range of pranks this Internet superhero performs, I included the following line in the appendix (verbatim): ** To experience being {{Rickroll}}ed, please go to the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYrQFyL8zFQ ** Not only did my teacher fall for it, so did four students who read it out of interest. * This troper's father once worked, many years ago, in a government building in Ottawa that happened to contain a project of interest to CSIS. (The rest of the building housed fairly mundane science research programs.) The offices to the project were behind a door that was completely unremarkable and of absolutely no interest to anyone, but the law required that a sign be posted informing all and sundry that access was restricted to authorised personnel, CLASSIFIED!!, etc. It was a running joke among the staff, since you might as well put up a big red arrow pointing to the only sensitive data in the entire building. ** Wouldn't you be able to fix that by labeling a few empty broom closets with the same thing? * I used to do some painting, and the only place I can really do that is my room. Due to my room being such a huge mess all the time, I could not rinse my brush with an open water source, as it would be likely to spill, so I used a water bottle instead. My friends and family have the tendency to come into my room and eat my food, so I felt it would be appropriate to put a warning label on the bottle, reading "CONTAMINATED: DO NOT DRINK." My genre-savvy parents then proceeded to tell me that the water bottle was probably more dangerous with the label than without. * [[KimikoMuffin This editor]] once posted a link to TVTropes on a message board, along with "Warning, link leads to TVTropes. Muffin is not responsible for hours of time lost as a result of following it." The next morning, I saw a reply: "Damn you! I was supposed to go to bed three hours ago!" ** This Troper's standard warning when handing out a link to TVTropes is "Don't click on this if you plan on getting any work done this week." ** At least you give people warning. ** "OH NO NOT TVTROPES! NOW I DON'T GET TO SLEEP TONIGHT!" ** This Troper is still stuck from his first time ever, sometimes he manages to whittle things down to a decent 70 pages, but right now he's on 321 tabs. Curse you TV tropes! ** This troper can't resist TVTropes links, even though he knows he's guaranteed at least twenty-four hours of inability to escape. He's taken to calling it "The Black Hole Of The Internet" and similar names. At least one major university assignment has been handed in late because of his failure to account for the sheer Unintended Procrastination Magnitude invoked by this site. ** Not to mention several tropers' habits of reading NightmareFuel and similar pages late at night. *** This troper does the same, except she also has a horrible tendency to click the links offered in that section. "Hm, a Tails doll? Well,

it can't be THAT bad, how scary can a doll be-OHMYFREAKINGGOD!" ** This troper has been chastized in the past for posting links to this site, and was told that the person complaining couldn't help but click on TVTropes links when they saw them posted (and then blow 4-5 hours on the site). This troper responded by posting twice as many links. *** Now I'm going to link TVTropes in my signatures on all of the 20something sites I'm a member of(and never seem to get around to posting/being active on.) ** This troper would like to ask if posting links to this site on 4chan constitutes {{Troll}}ing. ** This troper once managed to get out of tv tropes. But life on the outside is boring... ** This happens with this troper pretty much every day. I always plan to go to the bed around 1:00 AM... then, something around the midnight, if I happen to think "wow, what TV Tropes has on [insert random subject that just crossed my mind]?" then it's guaranteed that I won't be sleeping before 3:00 AM. ** This tropette is prone to this. Goddammn interesting site which makes sense of LIFE! * This Tropette has a ADD-like condition that severely inhibits her sense of smell. She's been able to get people to smell things from vinegar to dog poo to rotten fruit, simply by sniffing it first. She spends lots of time wondering when people will finally figure out she literally ''has no sense of smell.'' ** So... Do you consider yourself BlessedWithSuck or CursedWithAwesome? * One of the more recent "trending topics" (basically, a phrase that appears in lots of messages) on Twitter is the phrase "'''Do Not Click'''". Naturally, it's a big ol' link on the Twitter page. ''Thousands'' of people have clicked this link and commented on the inherent silliness. [[JohnZ Your Faithful Comrade-In-Tropes]] was not immune to the jolly, candy-like paradox. The link itself is benign; it shows a search of all of the tweets that contain the phrase, which ''got'' to be a trending topic when a Facebook scam was being revealed. * SchmuckBait was quite abused by this troper. There was an evil altar in a D&D campaign, which (when activated) summoned a Clay Golem. This troper (and his friends) got in a few lucky rolls and handed the thing its ass. This troper activated it again. WhatAnIdiot, right? Cue clay golem, cue asskicking by players, cue evil grin. This troper activates it a third time. This time it's more difficult, and the GM says to me "You're not getting anything other than clay golems, you twit!" My response: "Golems equal experience points." The fourth time I activated it, the GM said "You hear, somewhere, the roar of a Red Dragon." ** This troper can do one better: her D&D campaign involved two very powerful beings (a reformed Mindflayer and a fallen Word Archon, both powerful sorcerers among other things) who ''despised'' each other. The Word Archon, being more than a little crazy, set up a scenario purely to amuse himself: he teleported the party (in their sleep) to the city that the Mindflayer ruled (long story) - only for the party

to find that it had been abandoned overnight. We're told (by the bad guy himself) that the Word Archon has set one of his mooks loose with a scroll of "unimaginable power" that will destroy the city if we don't stop it from being read - oh, and if we succeed, we're promised powerful artifacts. Naturally, we go after the guy. We succeed in stopping the scroll from being read...only, it turns out, there was no scroll. And that mook we just killed? [[NiceJobBreakingItHero Just an innocent bystander, essentially.]] The artifacts are real, though! To be fair, the GM warned us before we started, that one of the artifacts would be a souped-up Deck of Many Things. To quote him, "I know a thousand fates worse than death. This deck now contains ten." Drawing from it, he assured us, was ''purely optional''. Naturally, the whole party drew from it. My character, being especially naieve and being one of the first ones to go, drew half the deck; even I was surprised that nothing especially bad happened to her. The last character to go? Drew the whole damn deck. And then threw a hissy fit when, third card in, she drew the Void (promptly killing her character permanently). The rest of us wondered aloud what exactly she'd ''expected'' to happen, if she did that, especially since this came well after the GM also informed us that he was shuffling the deck after each roll - so you had ''no'' guarantee that your next roll wouldn't give you an incredibly bad card. * {{Jonn}} once found a post asking for recs on LetsPlay[=s=]. He posted the [[http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Animal%20Crossing/index.html Animal Crossing]] one, with a note warning people not to read it late at night. He got several responses, one at 2:30AM saying "Dear gods, why didn't I listen?" ** ''WHYYYY''?? I can never play Animal Crossing at night again. ''N''o''t'' ''f''o''r'' ''e''a''s''i''l''y'' ''s''q''u''i''c''k''e''d'' ''t''r''o''p''e''r''s''. * A lot of links on this page can be considered SchmuckBait for the naturally curious, especially on the NightmareFuel pages and those reading in the middle of the night. Here's a tip: read what other tropers say about the link in question '''before''' clicking on it. Trust me. ** [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel/RealLife High Octane Nightmare Fuel/Real Life]]. You have been warned. * This troper gets nightmares and sleepless nights if consuming caffeine six hours before attempting to sleep. Unfortunately said troper has a tendency to go for walks prior to going to bed, walks which bring him past several convenience stores which sell caffeinelaced fizzy drinks... guess what happens. * This troper finds "Please do not touch" signs plastered all over museums to be irresistible - especially in a place like the Redpath Museum in Montreal, where there are many "Do not touch" signs in front of the taxidermied animals, but pretty much no staff people to yell at me. I'm not so much curious as I am tempted to touch the exhibits on principle - although, being genre savvy (or perhaps wrong genre savvy), I can just imagine the stuffed wolves or lions hunted in the 19th century coming to life and biting my head off for disobeying the signs. That prospect can add some spice to a school day.

* This troper recalls in fifth grade, when we had to make flip charts as part of a science project, and the teacher said our charts should be "...fun. Make it so passersby want to play with it." One boy proceeded to write "DANGER: DO NOT FLIP!!!" on all his flaps. Everyone wanted to open the flaps and was then enlightened. * This Troper's ROTC Commander had a "Do not push" button in his office, complete with wiring coming out of it. Many days I worked in the office and managed to avoid it, but eventually curiosity wins out. Cue loud noises and the ejection of a tiny piece of candy... * Role Playing session. The game was Ammo, a pastique of anything that qualifies as Manga; our group was a team of demon hunters, with mine character being an half-demon wizard and scientist. The GM almost weeped out our party with a flying witch using a crystal sphere that, when touched, summoned a demon. After the third demon in a row, one player landed a anti-matter missile on the witch. ''Somehow'', the crystal sphere survived the contained globe of destruction, and landed near my character. The following dialogue started: -->(me) It's magic? -->(GM) What else? -->(me) I prefer to be sure. I cast a detection spell. It's magic. -->(GM) Yes, ''a lot''. Possibly an artifact. -->(me) It's evil? -->(GM) How do you know? -->(me) Magician training (it a very old invention of the GM to justify a NPC action, and I learned it from him). If it's evil, I can sense it. -->(GM) Do you touch it? -->(me) NO I DON'T TOUCH IT. It's ranged, do you remember? -->(GM, dismissive) Fine, it's evil. Quite a lot evil, actually. -->(me) So it's sentient, too. Is it demonic in nature? -->(GM, smugly) You can't know. -->(me) I can. I use my Demonic Sight. If it's so strong, there is no way I can't sense it. -->(GM) Oh well, it's demonic. Actually, it's probably a demon bid in the form of a sphere. -->(me) Ok, I touch it. -->(GM, echoed by the only other player paying attention) What? -->(me) I know, I know... but what if a demon ''does not'' jump out? I have to know! -->(GM) A demon jumps out. -->(me) (whispering) Fuck. (Normal tone) Hopes you guy had the time to heal, seems a demon found us! * [[MikeRosoft This troper]] has fallen victim to a meta-schmuck-bait. When I read about the lose/lose "game" (the one where for each alien you destroy, a file from your disk gets deleted; and when your ship is destroyed, the application deletes itself), I went to its page with an intention of being a smartass and playing the game without destroying the aliens. I clicked on what looked like the game - and the spaceship started moving and ''shooting'' by itself, at high speed (so fast that that I'd have no chance to actually control the ship even if the it were possible). I immediately panicked, closed the browser window, and went to look for a way to restore the deleted files (I even posted a

warning about the game at the main SchmuckBait page) ... before realizing that what I was seeing wasn't the actual "game" (which would have had to be actually downloaded to the computer - and moreover, it only works on Mac), but rather just a video. ''Hopefully''. * I once had a (very important!) math test question that went like this: ''Juliet's heart beats this many times per minute. Every time she sees Romeo, her heart speeds up by this much. How many times does her heart beat if she's with him for this long?'' These were the given answers: A) this many times B) this many times C) This many times D) '''she dies of a heart attack'''. I wasted five minutes trying to resist the urge to put down D). * Another classic D&D example. This troper was playing a NeverwinterNights module a few years ago with a bunch of completely random people. The area we were in was basically a dungeon maze. Eventually, we stumbled upon a lone lever siting in the middle of a room wit no apparent function. Another party member pulled it... and got gored by a spike trap, hurting but not killing him. Assuming the trap was spent, he pulled it again. And got gored again. For the next five minutes, the party wound up trying to find a way to pull the lever without getting stabbed, and failing both miserably and very painfully. I suggested that maybe the lever's sole purpose was to hurt whoever carelessly touched it, leading the DM to sigh and wonder aloud why only low level characters ever seemed to have brains... (I was level 5 to the rest of the party's 16-18, at the time.) * This Troper always links to cute images. It's a thing he is known for. However, in MSN chats This Troper is also known for linking random images that will leave you scarred. Be it Yaoi, Rule 34 of Blobfish, or images from a Junji Ito manga, people curse his name to this very day. * This Troper was reading the Encyclopedia Dramatica page and came upon the entry saying that searching for "Kittens" on there was a [[NightmareFuel terrible]] [[{{Squick}} idea]]. I don't think I need to tell you what I immediately proceeded to do. ** [[{{Remaix}} This Troper]] has so far resisted the temptation to do this. She did, however, tell one of her friends in a chat that it would be bad. Said friend went quiet for a few minutes, while me and another friend were talking. After about five minutes, she returned, only exclaiming "[[{{Squick}} GROSS]]!" * This troper once saw a giant red button graffitied onto a wall. Underneath was "Don't press this button. You'll get paint on your hands." Guess what I did. * I work at a food pantry as does a friend of mine. Out of sheer spite, I wrote a note one day where I basically admitted in the first sentence that the note was wasting her time and the rest of the note was me gloating. I wrote the note with this trope in knowing full well that she would read the entire note even though it was written with the sole purpose of wasting 30-45 seconds of her life. And sure enough, what did she do? She read the whole thing even though the note told her it was meant to waste her time in the hopes that the note would have a point in it somewhere. It didn't. I'm one evil bastard. * This troper has a folder on her computer marked, "Avoid this folder if you value your sanity." She's waiting for someone to open it and

discover where she's stashed her yaoi. There's a similarly-named folder on her USB, but there's nothing of interest in there. Really. * I work as a retail salesperson, and once spoke with a customer who had a small blotch of mayo on his shirt. With a well-practiced grin, I pointed at him and said "You've got something on your shirt." He just grinned back, not taking the "bait", until I said, "I'm not even kidding, you spilled a bit there." * This troper is known for leaving his laptop unattended in school. While all the files and folders are locked, there's one file which isn't, and it's named "Copy of Encyclopedia Dramatica "Offended" page". He's gotten into trouble more than once when people realized that he wasn't lying. To all those who did open that file, hoping that it contained something juicy, like [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Yuki/Haruhi]] [[YuriFan yuri]], or a secret diary detailing this troper's secrets, "[[NeonGenesisEvangelion What are you, stupid?]]" * When this troper's uncle was a kid, he pressed a big red button that read do not push--and promptly shorted out the dentist's office. * [[MistaSmegheneghan This Troper]] once saw a fan page on Facebook that was based around The Lion King, and how an image in the group would ruin it FOREVER (not exactly how it was worded, but I'll get into that some other time). I later chatted to a friend who joined it, and told him that, no matter what he did, he SHOULDN'T put "yiff" and "The Lion King" into Google Image Search. Cue elongated text scream around ten minutes later, since he didn't know what yiff meant. * [[@/{{Psyga315}} This troper]] began to watch {{Felidae}} to see how far they can go with the gore... [[FamilyUnfriendlyDeath They]] [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel went]] BeyondTheImpossible. I should have stopped around part four. Oh, and I learned Felidae from this very site... [[KamenRiderDecade ONORE]] [[MemeticMutation TEREBI TEROPESU!]] * Tropers/DesertDragon does tech support and briefly worked for a modem manufacturer. Packaged with the modem is a CD that is only used under specific circumstances, and using any other time will mess up your installation. The CD's envelope is marked in bold letters: '''DO NOT USE UNLESS INSTRUCTED BY A TECHNICIAN'''. And sure enough, a quarter of all calls for help would at some point include the phrase, "I used the CD and..." * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper]] was very [[InnocenceVirginOnStupidity innocent of many sexual matters]] until he was about 15. A friend told me he was into fat [[FurryFandom furries,]] and I asked to demonstrate what that was. He showed him a link with pics of it. Needless to say, [[NauseaFuel I]] [[HeroicBSOD was]] [[BrainBleach mortified!]] In any case, I didn't judge him, and we stayed friends :) * [[{{Tropers/kittykela}} This troper]] in high school was talking with her friends in art class. The subject of hentai came up, and one of my friends didn't know what it was. Sarcastically, I told him to look it up on google images. He came in the next day traumatized. Whoops. * There's a pretty hilarious example of this in the Science Mueseum in London, in the form of a big, striped post with a sign by it saying something like 'IF YOU TOUCH THIS POLE, YOU WILL GET AN ELECTRIC

SHOCK. DO NOT TOUCH THIS POLE.'. There's tape on the floor and stuff telling people to keep this far away from it. Yet ''everyone'' touches it. It's just irresistable. An lo and behold, it gives you a small electric shock. The best part is it's located around the sociology sector. * I wonder how many people fall for clicking the link at the end of [[http://io9.com/5479423/behind-the-wiki-meet-tv-tropes-cofounderfast-eddie this article]]? * A punk club on SecondLife that this troper hangs out at has three mannequins -- a "bartender" and two "patrons" -- sitting at the bar, with a sign saying "Do not poke". The expected action causes the mannequins to explode in a KillBill-like shower of blood. * I was once fooled into thinking there was a 1-foot man in my cousin's basement closet. Laugh all you want but i was fucking young. * This Troper works at a grocery store where managers have to wear an alarm button in case of extreme emergency (like a robbery). Basically, if you press the button, you'll get an entire freaking army of police and SWAT outside the door. Guess what every new manager does at least once, even if only unconsciously. Oh, and did it mention that the store gets fined $3,000 for each false alarm? * At the Los Angeles Museum of Contemporary Art, there was one exhibit that took up a short hallway. On each side were a series of frames that read, "DO NOT TOUCH." At the end is a frame with a glass plate that read, "TOUCH." I touched it, and some old woman saw me doing it and decided to touch it too, when the security guard came and gently told her not to touch it. I overheard the conversation; he said that a lot of people get the temptation to touch it. * This troper found out at the cost of $49.44 that Amazon's [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1-Click 1-Click]] ordering service is ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. ** Same for this troper...and it was late at night, suffice it to say, the rents weren't pleased.... * [[Tropers/EarthboundGod This troper's]] dad told her a story about a relative that [[InvokedTrope invoked this trope]]. My uncle, who was at a party, specifically told everyone that if he passed out from drinking too much to 'not pee in his glass'. He drank, he passed out, [[DeadpanSnarker someone peed in his glass]]. He woke up and the first thing he did was take a giant swig from said glass. Then, with a straight face, he said, 'Okay, who pissed in my glass?'. Judging from his reaction, this has [[WhatAnIdiot happened before]]. * On the lab where [[@/{{endlessness}} this troper]] works, there is a PC whose SOLE reason for existence is controlling a bunch of test equipment (signal generators, oscilloscopes, etc...). It is CLEARLY stated '''do not use this computer for browsing the internet!'''. Yet people DO use it for browsing the internet. They keep even insisting on installing games on that PC. Fortunately it was replaced by a machine which is now password-protected, and the password is changed periodically and not given to anybody other than the researchers which use that equipment. * This troper was once dumb enough to click on a link leading to a picture from "Lost Silver" and is now scarred for life. (For those of you who don't know, Lost Silver is a Pokmon creepypasta that will

[[HighOctaneNightmareFuel scare you shitless.]] You have been warned.) * I worked at a store selling super-bright wind-up LED flashlights. I used to charge it up, turn it on, and hand it to the customer, telling them not to look directly into it. Almost every time, they did. Often they ended up buying the thing. * I pursued Lu Bu. It ended badly ** The DynastyWarriors Lu Bu? [[FlatWhat What]]? * I've used Hotmail for many years. And on the principle of curiosity (and knowing the most likely of possibilities), I used the more masculine spelling of mail. And now I must laugh. * In any FPS, a time-honored classic is to drop a grenade upon dying. The poor schmuck who attempts to loot your fallen body... * FOAF story here. This family went through a drive through safari park. They were told by the keepers "If you see a rhino in your path, just wait for it to move. Do not honk your horn." While driving through the park, their path was blocked by a rhino. The driver took the schmuck bait and honked his horn. The rhino immediately turned and charged the car head on. * This Troper heard a few friends talking about a manga that they described as "creepy." Not thinking it could be that bad, I read it when I got home. At 11:00 pm. That manga was ''TheEnigmaOfAmigaraFault''. * This Troper was told by his cousin "not to look to your left". He looked to his left. [[SubvertedTrope He didn't find anything out of the ordinary.]] Then he looked to his right. [[DoubleSubverted He saw his plus-sized aunt in a too-small bathing suit.]] * Yesterday, while walking back to the bus stop after meeting up with his girlfriend, [[Mikethefoxhog this Troper]] saw a slanted wall that had a sign affixed to it reading "WARNING: this wall has been treated with anti-climb paint". It took him every ounce of self-control he had not to climb it just to find out how this 'anti-climb paint' functioned. ---Ooh, look at [[SchmuckBait this]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HutsJufp0po link]]. I sure hope no one clicks it. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScholarshipStudent * Subverted (an actual one, for once) for this troper. She attends a prestigious single-sex private high school and comes from a middleclass/lower-middle-class family, but isn't on scholarship (even though her English marks would most likely qualify her for one). Her parents just scraped together the money. Makes things kind of hard when her best friend comes from an incredibly rich family and always has heaps of spare cash... * This troper goes to a school full of upper-middle-class people/the bourgeoisie, and is only in there because of a scholarship and family support.

SchoolgirlLesbians * This troper and her best friend get mistaken for this all the time. Yes, we're tactile, yes, we're affectionate, and yes, we know it [[ShipTease drives the boys mad]]. Stop asking me if my boyfriend knows I'm "cheating" on him. * If reality is a TV show, I am freakin' ''certain'' the group of girls at my school who are suspiciously touchy-feely are the {{fanservice}}. (They are bisexual, but I don't think there's any meaning behind it.) ** [[{{MindScrew}} Reality is a TV show.]] ** This troper knew of a lesbian couple during his sophomore year in high school that would spend all of their time before school in the halls making out. *** To the rest of you, yeah, we know, gift horse. * This troper knew quite a few girls who thought "lesbian" meant "not afraid to kiss other girls". During his entire high school tenure, he only met one genuine lesbian (that is, until a boyfriend-of-a-friend's sister this troper went to school with showed up with ''her'' girlfriend, giving rise to an exclamation of "Didn't see that one coming". * Two of this troper's female friends sometimes pretend to be SchoolgirlLesbians just to mess with people. ** Stop being evil. ''Please!'' *** Seriously, what the fuck. You are giving the rest of us a bad name. ** Chill the fuck out, you two; the OP said that it was two friends, not the OP and a friend. ** Apparently. every time someone pulls a prank on others by pretending to be gay, it's homophobic. Nice job being rational. *** It makes it look like you think homosexuality is a joke. Nice job [[AppealToRidicule appealing to ridicule.]] **** Woah there, chill a bit and enjoy the joke. It's best not to assume that people are trying to offend you based purely on the fact that you're a lesbian. Don't get your panties in a bunch there. * There were two girls in the same highschool class as this troper who were really close (had been friends for years). They had a tendency to be quite... affectionate with each other, cuddling with each other or rubbing each other's legs in front of all the guys. A lot of it was probably done just to make guys feel uncomfortable. This troper's friends retaliated by going "lesbianslesbiansleasbians" whenever they did it infront of him. * This troper found out that a former classmate of his was bisexual when I met her lesbian girlfriend at a high school batch reunion. They were being touchy-feely when me and the lesbian friend went into a discussion about high-school issues (both our high schools were owned by the same person). Needless to say, the discussion trailed off... * As a teen, this (asexual) troper didn't know that asexuality existed and went through a period of thinking she was a lesbian. "Well, I'm not attracted to guys, so..." Yeah, it never worked out. ** Asexuality exists?

** So it would seem, just judging from this wiki alone. *** It can, but is quite rare. Either TvTropes gets a very odd selection of people visiting (''extremely'' heavy on the asexual portion of the population), or... [[IJustWantToBeSpecial Well...]] **** Well, they gotta do ''something'' with all that excess energy, right? ***** In answer to the above: This troper knows of one asexual (via the internet) who spends all that excess energy having lots and lots of hobbies. This supports my theory that sex/romance uses up ''way'' too much time. **** I always figured they just didn't want to admit they were single and lonely. **** Yes, most of them are. [[TheTallOne I'm]] not one of those. **** That's some pretty offensive thinking, especially since it doesn't have any real basis. I mean this is the internet, where one would feel safest telling the truth anyway. We have a lot of dressing troper tales where people spill all there saddest and humiliating moments, and in light of those, lying about being single just doesn't make much sense. Of course, there could be liers, but I'm inclined to believe people when I see no reason for them to lie. And to the above that said it was rare: rare in accordance to what, statistics? [[LiesDamnedLiesAndStatistics I think we all know a thing or two about statistics]]. Hell I thought gays/bisexuals were rare until a few years ago(I only met like two in person, one was a flaming queen and the other turned out to actually be transgendered), but I certainly wouldn't question anyone who said they were now or then. Why single out asexuals as liers who just want attention? * This troper has three people in most of her classes (All female) who are like a mother and her kids. She will comfort them and hold them if they are cold or sad. It gets creepy at times... * This troper is the superego of a PowerTrio who met in an all-girl high school and have been friends since. During college, our id confessed that she had once had a crush on our ego (although she got over this after graduation). The three of us have also been mistaken as this one time or another (mainly because our id is a very affectionate person) and one time this troper and the ego were mistaken as this when the ego told a boy who was trying to ask her out that she was accompanying this troper to the beach for the weekend and he got the wrong idea. (It was this troper's birthday party and she was not the only one there). All of us are straight and this troper currently has a boyfriend. * This troper was probably the only really out person of either gender in her school. To make it [[MoeMoe even worse]], she loves plaid miniskirts and wore twin-tails. ** [[QueenOfTheBifauxnen This troper]] hears you. Sadly she was always pretty butch in behaviour, so it was also very obvious. Fun times. *** The two tropers above should exchange phone numbers. Geez get a room already. * This troper went to an all girls school. The gay:straight ratio in my friendship group was the opposite of that of the population at large. We planted younger members of the school to collect the rumours about which of us was sleeping/having a threesome with who/which

teacher(s), and every now and again planted our own when they weren't fabulous enough. * This troper also goes to an all-girls school. Coming from a NoHuggingNoKissing type of co-ed school, she had a bit of a culture shock when half the girls in her class had up to seven 'lesbian boyfriends', 'wives', and even adopted junior students as their ''children''. She was mortified when the school board had to resort to a full-fledged campaign to prevent SchoolgirlLesbians, complete with a talk from the school counsellor. ** This troper's school had the same problem. It got kinda weird. ** [[ThisIsWrongOnSoManyLevels People want to stop others from being lesbians?]] ** OP: Unfortunately. Apparently, it was starting to give our school a bad name (which might not be the students' fault; if you rearrange the acronym of our school's name you get Lesbian Schoolgirl Club.) I posted that a year or two ago, and since then the situation's only gotten more widespread. I reckon we've had four suspensions for 'indecent behaviour' this year alone. ** Yeah. While boys and girls who want to be extreme know enough to sneak into the bathroom, a large part of SchoolGirlLesbians is to show off, and do so in public. * This troper once ran into a pair of these on his way to Physics class. Once I got to the door I noticed that it was locked so he turned around to wait for the teacher, and lo and behold two girls making out right in the corner. I quickly turned around to avoid becoming a deer caught in the headlights, blushing furiously. Luckily the girls didn't notice me. * For some odd reason, this troper's private school had gained a reputation for this, to the point that it had become a running gag. However, in order to 'combat' this, the Headmistress forbade anyone from going to the senior social (a prom, basically) unless you had a male partner. You weren't even allowed to go alone, because then you might meet your girlfriend inside! This was greeted with complete confusion and annoyance from all the students. ** Was there a rule about ''staying'' all evening with said male partner? Because if not, I see an obvious loophole... * Some regulars at the store where This Troper works included a pair of cute but annoying girls (they looked cute, but their emo style of dress was irritating to this Goth Troper; and let's not start about the time their public cuddling got to "Get a room, people!" proportions, which prompted one otherwise open-minded manager to politely ask them to please tone it down, whereupon they started yelling at him, accusing him of being "OMG TEH [=H0M0PH0B=]!!111"), who almost seemed to be trying too hard to be lesbians: the way they squeed over This Troper's very handsome male supervisor was a bit counter-intuitive, ala the "Lesbians!" parody strip of Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy squeeing over Batman in the next-to-the-last panel. ** You know, you'd think that goths, of all people, would know better than to judge based on somebody's style of dress. ** Is there really that big of a difference between emo and goth? ** Emo: http://tiny.cc/uBrDn Goth: http://tiny.cc/uYRh7 ** Why are you annoyed by emos so badly? What have they ever done to

anyone? *** As the troper a few lines up shows the public thinks the two subcultures are the same and many Goths get tired of being seen as attention-seeking, self-harming, overly emotional teenagers when none of that is part of their subculture. So I guess you could say that Emos give Goths a 'bad name'. *** The public is just as wrong about emos as goths. You can SI without being emo, being emo doesn't automatically mean you SI, and I've never seen any evidence to link rates of SI with the emo subculture. Then again, if someone has sources... ** In this troper's school, the emos are the most outspoken,fickle, annoying kids in school. Wile the goths are very different, also far and few. Plus goths came first... *** Goth is an offshoot of punk. Does that mean punk is automatically better? * Heh...one of my female friends is a non-practicing Muslim (she's one by birth, that's it) and we always joke that she has many wives...her wives being all the girls in our group XD really confuses people who aren't used to it. Plus because she's TINY, I always tend to cuddle her if she's upset...which has led to a few odd looks. Hehe. * Oh, was ''that'' what all the other girls in my class were up to? Explains a lot- they even adopted a couple of guys as grandsons. Yes, you read that right. * This troper was rejected by a girl at school when he asked her out on a date, because she already had a girlfriend. This troper did not see it coming, but because of that experience he knows that most lesbians are not the Frank Miller EveryoneIsBi type. This troper is still lonely and hasn't found a girlfriend yet, and is worried he only falls for girls who are already taken or are genuine lesbians. ** This Troper is the same kind of lonely - I have just been dumped by the second boy in a row to realise that he was gay after dating me. I'm terrified that I only fall for the gay ones. * [[SharmHedgehog I]] know two people that are like this. Indirect kiss? Check. Incredibly close to each other? Check. ''Allergic to nut products?'' I wish I was making that up... but then one of them turned out to be [[BaitAndSwitchLesbians straight after all]]. ''Damn it...'' * This troper and her best friend have known each other since they were babies. They've been like this since they were about 4 years old. * This Troper and her girlfriend were both this, though not at the same time. * Before this troper really understood what homosexuality was, she used to have one of her friends sit on her lap and cuddle with her. Ironically, this troper is now a proud bisexual. ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint That's not, by its correct definition, ironic...]] ** She has also had many, many crushes on female childhood friends without even realizing it. *** Oh my god, are you me? *see entry directly below* I would always ask my best friend to hold hands with me all the time before I knew that I was bi. When she moved away two or three years later, I realized that she was my first real childhood love. * Eh heh heh heh... *cries*. This troper is a Schoolgirl Bisexual. But

a real and genuine Schoolgirl Bisexual, with a 90% female preference. The only reason that she identifies as bi and not lesbian is because while, for the most part, this troper likes girls, she also finds the occasional guy she's attracted to as well. HOWEVER, NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND THIS. She's either pegged as a fake bisexual or a lesbian-and when she even mentions attraction to guys around people who think she's lesbian, she gets crucified. It's verrrrry exasperating. ** Come sit by me, honey. :( ** That sounds like me... Only I haven't come out yet. I've decided that when I do, I'll just come out as a lesbian (for now, at least) because otherwise, I don't think anyone would understand... * This troper's group of friends is her Deep South's group of Schoolgirl (and one Schoolboy) Bisexuals. NONE of us are attracted to each other. It is not fun. On the bright side, it's easy to identify who you could date, if only you liked each other. * Averted by this Les Troper: only had lesbian contact outside of school-life ([[WhereEverybodyKnowsYourFlame like, you know, in gay bars]]). Even though I've always been in classes where the majority is female, {{SchoolgirlLesbians}} is, unfortunately, not a trope in the small european country I live in. * This Troper's best friend was the only lesbian girl in our high school. People used to think we were a couple, cause I never had any boyfriends, but I just wasnt interested....I think im asexual * This troper hit on one during one of our "leadership seminars" back in college. We had finished day 2 and we were knocking back a few beers and I was feeling tipsy already. I chatted up this girl and she was all "I like other chicks, didn't you know?" My reaction became an instant classic: "I do know, the question is do you know?" * At my school there are these two girls that are REALLY obviously SchoolgirlLesbians, but I was the only one who ever noticed. This one time I got G Rated Drunk on Halloween Candy and commented on the matter to another guy. He looked at them, thought for a few seconds, and broke out laughing. I never told anyone else and neither did he, but he always thought they were hilarious from that day on-he was the only other guy from that point on who noticed them. * Aren't half of these MistakenForGay? * This troper and her friend are mistaken for this alot. It dosn't help that we ocaisionaly act it, and even call ourselves the seme (myself) and uke (my friend). Though this troper is Bi, shes pretty sure her friend is straight. * All girls' school in general. This Catholic school girl troper saw it all. Cuddling? Check. Kissing? Check. Sitting on each others' laps? Check. Holding hands? Check. It wasn't sexual (well, for most of them) but it still was romantic as all hell. * This troper and her first girlfriend (both of us are bisexual - yes, really bisexual, not just pretending for attention or some such nonsense) were schoolgirls in high school at the time of our romance, although we kept it discrete. * This troper and her girlfriend are this, despite being in a LongDistanceRelationship. This troper is the ShrinkingViolet, {{Adorkable}} (girlfriend's words, not mine) [[{{Uke}} "Neko"]] and the aforementioned girlfriend is a LittleMissBadass GenkiGirl

[[{{Seme}} "Tachi"]]. And we avert the [[OneHeadTaller height rule]], this troper being a HugeSchoolgirl. * This troper and her girlfriend are this, with a hell of a lot of HideYourLesbians making it a constantly eventful relationship. The girlfriend is Catholic, and we met at Catholic school, so while my parents know (liberal parenting is a godsend), hers don't. Now I'm at college two hours away, and am openly gay. She's still at home. And isn't. I love her. * This troper and her friend are *constantly* mistaken for this. We like hugging a lot, and at Cons, we do share an air mattress. But we're not this trope. * This troper and her MtF girlfriend will be after she goes through the surgery. * This troper is one, though she's rather discreet about it. Her girlfriend is also at a different school and will soon be in different cities. * [[{{Lipstick lesbian}} M]][[{{Dandere}} e]] and my [[{{Genki girl}} girl]][[{{Pettanko}} friend]] are this. Everyone is fine with it. [[{{Girl on Girl is hot}} Especially the boys.]] * It's a running gag in this troper's all-girls high school that most of the girls are lesbians. Bisexual troper [[InformedAttribute has to wonder where all these lesbians are]]. * This troper and her best friend from university (where I live there's no college after school, just plain boring uni) were hilariously often mistaken for this by colleagues AND professors. That we are both bisexual and out of the closet did never help. Neither did it help that I at that time was (and still am) single and loved it and she had (and still has) a boyfriend. ... guess it comes from giggling, whispering and cuddling all the time. Not to mention she ALWAYS mama'ed me and I in exchange fed her with sweets during class. I always find it amusing how a simple, close friendship is mistaken so often. Forgive me, I never minded it THAT much, I never cared - but as one troper already stated it got on me and my friend when people asked if her lover knows she's "cheating" on him. And of course people never got their minds out of the gutter when we corrected them. * This Troper's classmates are often seen like this. One couple I can't tell if they are serious or not, but the other ones are obviously joking. Nobody seems to really care, though. * This bisexual female troper is pretty sure she's being chased by one... Though this troper does not feel ready to or want to explore her own bisexuality at this point in her life, she doesn't really mind having the cute, [[BuxomBabe busty]] {{GenkiGirl}} that seems interested in her glomp her every morning. ---Go back to Main/SchoolgirlLesbians -- they're better than [[YuriFanboy yucky]] [[YaoiGuys boys]] anyway. ---<<|TroperTales|>> <<|TroperTales|>>

Schoolmarm * [[Tropers/{{SKJAM}} This Troper's]] parents were both educated by schoolmarms in one-room schoolhouses as children, back in the days before rural electrification reached their respective communities. (This Troper is ''old''.) One of his mother's teachers was her eighteen-year-old cousin, who'd just passed her eight-week course to qualify as a schoolmarm. As you might imagine, having several class members be her relatives by blood or marriage caused some discipline problems. * There are situations like this in certain parts of Latinamerica. [[Tropers/MakiP This Troper]] knows two people who attented oneteacher schools, they are from a rural area and around 30 years old. * [[Tropers/{{TTURTLE}} This troper's]] grandmother taught in a oneroom schoolhouse for a few years in the 1940s. Like a storybook schoolmarm, she boarded with a local family and eventually married the family's bachelor son. ----

ScienceFair * Unfortunately, when This Troper went to middle school, the science fair was mandatory. The Mentos and Coke and volcano experiments weren't allowed, and we had to do research papers alongside it. Do you know the part that sucks even more? In eighth grade, I couldn't really get any parental help since my mother was busy tending to my sick (and then dying) grandma. I worked really hard, but I got a C+. All the other kids got parental help and they got As and Bs. Thankfully, there is no science fair in high school. * This troper's wife teaches chemistry and has judged a lot of science fairs. There is ''always'' a volcano. * [[{{Muselette}} This troper's]] school averted this by not allowing things like volcano or solar system models entry as projects because they weren't "testing a hypothesis," but they could be used as visual aids if they had some relevance to the actual project. Needless to say, this troper never saw many volcanoes. * Completely averted in this troper's education. No school I ever attended ever had a single science fair. Not one! * This troper's middle school had a ''mandatory'' science fair, but he never saw a volcano or solar system model (probably because of the aforementioned "must test a hypothesis" rule). However, they did include an option where you could just write a 7-ish page research paper if you didn't want to do a project. * This troper's school's science fair wasn't much of a science fair as it was an investigatory project fair, where projects ranged from ordinary to extremely dull to ridiculously pointless. Still, designing the booths and preparing audience-capturing techniques were pretty fun. * This troper's school district had a mandatory science fair for the sixth grade and up, with the caveat that only the top three sixthgraders' projects would be put on display with the others. The year he

entered seventh grade, the whole thing just...stopped existing. I still don't know why. * Averted for a year in this troper's high school. We were technically required to do science fair last year, but somehow we were able to skip it due to involving "too much paperwork." Now it's played straight on; if we didn't do science fair, we still had to do a project for the science teachers. * Averted at this troper's elementary school. When there was a scienece fair, there was a sheet for everyone that said "No volcanoes or models of the solar system". The teachers are on to us... * This troper had to do a very formal science fair each year from 6th8th grade. And there were no volcanoes or solar system models. But a lot of watering plants with pop and Mento/Diet Coke geysers. This troper herself tested the effect music on her rat's appetite, different types of bleach on hard stains, and the flammability of different pajama materials. She won a pretty fancy award for the latter. ---Go back to ScienceFair. ----

ScienceMarchesOn Tropers: [[{{Tropers/Mysteria}}]] This troper Can't help but laugh at Jurassic parks bald veloci I mean deinonychus. * That's not really ScienceMarchesOn though, as it was well known that veloceraptors were pretty small at the time the movie was made. I remember reading a statement from Spielberg (though it could have been someone else working on the film) looking at some recently discovered (at the time) Utahraptor fossils and saying "... we want THAT in our film." ** The basis for their Raptors where Utahraptors. * Doesn't explain the baldness ** Paleontologists didn't know raptors had feathers until 1998.

SciFiGhetto * In my english class, we all underwent a rigorous 2 weeks of creative writing, ending with 3-4 days of presentations. As expected, most of them were either poetry or memoirs (for some reason my class thinks those two genres are the easiest), and the most "serious writer" in the class wrote a fictionalized series of articles and stories from WW2. (He has...problems.) My turn came, and I read my darkly comedic, Douglas-Adams style first chapter of a sci-fi novel about the afterlife. It was met with blank stares from the class, but my teacher reportedly found it hilarious. So...subversion? ** How is writing WW2 based stuff mean he has problems? * This troper is involved in a sci-fi themed academic symposium held at his university. Hoo-boy it is a fight every year to justify our existence to those in charge, despite attendance by such well-known authors as Gail Carson Levine, Orson Scott Card (who comes every few years and actually helped create the symposium 26 years ago) as well

as many other respected sci-fi/fantasy authors and editors; professors from several universities across the country; and even honest-togoodness rocket scientists. Despite all that, ''every year'' we have to prove that we are serious and have academic worth. ** Perhaps foolishly, this troper would suggest tracking down a copy of Heinlein's "Expanded Universe" and staging a performance of "Spinoff" as part of the academic fight to save the sci-fi symposium. Originally written as a transcript of the testimony that the Grandmaster delivered to a congressional subcommittee, it can with very little effort be expanded to cover the value of science fiction as a genre. * This troper once read an article by a reader in denial, who attempted to argue that the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett could not be fantasy because they were ''too good''. Apparently, the presence of dwarfs, trolls, vampires, werewolves, witches, wizards, a large pantheon of interventionist gods and occasional elves are not the defining factor, but the quality of the work in question. ** This troper suggest that the reader in denial had been first exposed to fantasy... I'm sorry, I'll try that again... the first "fantastic"-style fiction which said reader had read was of the "GOR" level of quality, and subsequent stories went downhill from there. Defining a work as belonging or not belonging to a particular genre based on the writing quality is not just comparing apples to oranges, but comparing agriculture to meteorology: both are important and related to each other, but are fundamentally different aspects of the works in question. ** This troper once read a [=LiveJournal=] entry that was the exact inverse; the person was claiming that the HarryPotter series was simply a fairy tale, and "low" fantasy, not worthy to be mentioned in the same breath as TheLordOfTheRings. The person making the claim was a fantasy author. Unfortunately, he can't find the relevant entry. *** Having read both, but not the [=LiveJournal=] entry, I can readily understand the basis behind that distinction, and I can fully agree that Harry Potter is not at all on the same level as Lord of the Rings, although I'm not as certain about the fairytale distinction. To put it simply, Harry Potter is flat out outrageously unrealistic, and it doesn't have any real standards of its own it goes by, aside from the Rule Of Being Interesting. Lord of the Rings, on the other hand, although extremely fantastical, took to painstaking detail to flesh out its world and breathe into it a life and reality unto itself. Talking about realism in a fantasy setting may sound counter-intuitive (Makes you wanna say "It's fantasy! Of course it's unrealistic. Duh!", doesn't it?), but what I mean by realism is just how much the world of the story draws you in by really making sense. **** To shorten the above paragraph in This Troper's own words: Harry Potter tells a pre-established story and throws in fantastic elements when needed; [=LotR=] creates a world filled with pre-established fantastic elements and rules and then uses them to make a story. ***** To shorten it further: In HP, the fantastic elements are used to tell the story; in [=LotR=], the story is used to show you how the fantastic elements work. ****** To shorten it further, the Lord of the Rings has some merit as

a work of literature. ******* To be the shortest: LotR's dry & HP's fun. *** I later realized that the writer in question happened to be a "high fantasy" author. **** But don't you guys think that dismissing HP for not being as good as one of the most influential novels of the last century is a little bit too snobbish and over-the-top? **** Aren't the HarryPotter s one of the most influential novel series of the last century? **** The Lord of the Rings has been canonized as Great Literature, so academics can now pretend they always liked it. Harry Potter has not. This leads one to wonder: are fantasy fans who hate on Harry Potter just doing it becomes [[HeWhoFightsMonsters it's not a "classic?"]] **** I would agree with the argument in that Harry Potter is "low" fantasy and Lord of the Rings is "high" fantasy, but I fail to see why it matters. That merely puts them in different subgenres - quality, and "classic" status, aren't necessarily part of that. * This troper was told in a creative writing class she took that no one was allowed to write genre fiction. She managed this until the final assignment, where her only idea was part of a longer work she was working on. It involved an alternate America where there was a strict caste system by financial status and slavery. She brought it in and was praised for it. It was never called SF, despite the fact it couldn't be anything but. ** And this, tropers, is why SF remains such a reviled beast: it sneaks in anywhere, because innocently filling in the blank after "What If..." can lead to sparking the imagination, and we all know where THAT can lead. *** Cookies? *** All right, I'll bite. Actually ''thinking''? Voting for the "wrong" political party? (Sorry, I just read about a stupid, ''stupid'' bill to create Yet Another Faceless Bureaucracy, and I'm a little ticked off at the moment). *** The funny thing is, this troper expected to be failed because of this story. She made no effort to hide the fact she was writing science fiction, and the last thing she expected was the teacher cornering her and going on about how good the story was. (since this was me writing, [[SelfDeprecation it wasn't much]].) ** "Genre fiction"? How can one write outside a genre? Tell your teacher that ''PrideAndPrejudice'' is a romance, ''CrimeAndPunishment'' a thriller. ** Were you in my class? Introduction to Creative Writing (LTCR 10) with Julie Cox at UCSC? That was the only time This Troper ever ran into the situation or even heard of it, but agrees. * [[GwenStacyWannabe This troper]] brings graphic novels to school and reads them. I get a lot of weird looks and "Why are you reading ''that?''" Never mind a lot of the other girls bring manga and anime to school, oh no. ''They'' get off without a single snide remark. ** Same with [[{{Dookie}} this troper]], though sometimes the opposite effect. I got yelled by a teacher for reading ''Bone'' during "Drop Everything and Read" time (it was elementary school), claiming that comics are not literature (Scott [=McCloud=] would have fun hearing

that), and in middle school had to perpetually fear being sent to the guidance counselor for reading ''JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac'', since the school was ridiculously censorship-crazy (I've also been yelled at for reading ''BraveNewWorld'' in school). Ironically, a teacher did find me reading JTHM and said that it was a good read. Laughter and odd looks are not unusual when people find me making comics. People look at me like I'm an idiot when I try to defend the comics medium, and suppress chuckles when I talk about IsaacAsimov. What has this world come to? *** The difference of reactions between manga/anime and graphic novels are, indeed, intriguing. Perhaps because manga/anime are foreign and therefore subject to different judgment? A school that is censorshiphappy is an entirely different kettle of fish; there's an annual "Banned Book List" of which the contents belong in every school. This troper would dearly love to read about tropers who put ''BraveNewWorld'' away into their bookbags and pull out a copy of, say, ''NakedLunch''... As far as the idiots who chuckle when you try to defend comics and sci-fi... well, as the troper below points out, "Just because [they]'re too stupid to understand..." **** I'd assume it's similar to the AnimationAgeGhetto. People still think that American comics are for kids, even though they might acknowledge that many Japanese manga are targeted at the adult market. *** TrueArtIsForeign? This troper owns an ebook. I get more questions about the ''device'' than what's ''on'' it. **** That's because once you're out of middleschool/a small highschool, no one cares what you read. Ebooks are interesting. Your taste in novels is not. ** This troper has actually been a victim of comments directed at him for reading manga at school. Accusations levied by him from classmates included both that he was reading porn and stuff for children. * I wanted to do the mythological influences in ''StarWars'' for my Extended Essay (a 4000-word essay that people who do the International Baccalaureate, an alternate school thing, have to do), a topic that's pretty damned rich and requires a lot of research. Did they let me? No. I then, in a fit of pique and hoping to piss them off, decided that I would do my Extended Essay in History instead, [[RefugeInAudacity on pirates]]. ''They said yes''. Un-freakin' believable. (Of course, it's pretty damn cool that they let me do that, but come ''on''...) ** [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome You got to write an essay on pirates.]] You have officially lost ''all right'' to complain about the sci-fi ghetto. ** This troper's classmate got a lousy grade on an essay for comparing something-or-other we had to write about to ''StarWars.'' Because it wasn't "literature." *** Technically since it's a movie it isn't literature, but that still sucks. *** On the one hand, you could produce the novelization of Episode IV that Lucas wrote and published separately (it includes a more detailed description of Tashi Station, and Luke's nickname among his buddies) to demonstrate that it was, in fact, a novel and therefore literature. On the other, you could point out that, in the entirety of the world's

movies, the same two characters show up more often than any others: SherlockHolmes and Dracula. After all, literature and theater were the only things that could be filmed, back when movies first started. But it sounds like your teachers are more used to putting things in welldefined categories than asking questions, so never mind... *** Actually, the novelization was ghostwritten by Alan Dean Foster, an acclaimed SF writer. So yeah. ** This troper once got an F on a political cartoon assignment in his History class, since he compared the activities of a government to that of the Galactic Empire, despite the fact that Star Wars has been known to have layers of political commentary and parallels with historical events. *** Weirdly, this troper's Mythology professor did a dissertation on Star Wars. **** This whole example tree seems to be more a case of mislableing than actual Sci-Fi ghetto. Star Wars is not really literature, it's a movie. A novelization doesn't make it literature. There's a lot you can do with it that will be well recieved including literary analysis, but you'll usually wind up in trouble when you tag it as a literature project. If you ask your Mythology Professor, they'll likely tell you that they had quite a bit of trouble properly slotting the dissertation, but once it was set up, had no issue with it. The same is true with a political cartoon about the Galactic Empire. You'd have gotten a much much higher grade if you had then made the connections that Star Wars makes instead of leaving them for the teacher to fill in him/herself. ** Wow, really? They didn't let you do it on Star Wars? That's ridiculous! I know a kid in my school a few years ago did his EE on Harry Potter, and I'm doing mine on American and Soviet animation. * This troper has been a sci-fi fan since early childhood, but unfortunately dwells in a very-redneck small town. She has spent her entire life defending the books and shows she loves to people who think professional wrestling is high art. She finally gave up on her logical, well-reasoned, and impassioned defenses in favor of something much simpler: "Just because you're too stupid to understand a show doesn't make it stupid; it makes you stupid." ** Good strategy. Trying to broaden the horizons of those who want their horizons to get smaller is the most classic example of an exercise in futility this troper has ever heard of. Stay online and keep in touch with other fans, though. Clearly, you'll need the support. ** As a fan of both sci-fi and ProfessionalWrestling, this troper kind of resents the above troper for using the latter as an example of how his neighbors are redneck morons. Methinks that sci-fi isn't the only thing in a ghetto around here... Still, good luck fighting the good fight against ignorance, even if you do choose poor comparison points. ** Sorry if I offended anybody with that comparison- it's not that I have anything against professional wrestling, but more got extremely frustrated by the amount of times I would mention liking a sci-fi or fantasy show only to get a response of "How can you watch that weird (rude expletive deleted), it's so stupid and fake and pointless" followed by an impassioned discussion of how great last night's RAW

was. This happened so often that the two things (dissing sci-fi and loving pro wrestling) became inextricably linked in this troper's mind. So blame my classmates, not me! *** I understand what you mean. The first troper wasn't dissing Pro Wrestling. She was making the valid point that people will discount something for no other reason than it's label, even if it shares many of the same qualities as something they do like. This troper knows people who swear ''{{Lost}}'' is the epitome of TV drama, but say you like the ''XFiles'' or worse ''StarTrek'' and folks roll their eyes and say it's '''''unrealistic'''''. Yeah, unrealistic...cause a mystery island with smoke beasts and code-locked hatches is the height of realism...gimme a break! (And before anybody wigs out, I happen to respect ''{{Lost}}'' though I don't follow it. * A subversion of sorts - this troper wrote a practice essay for his Scholarship English paper, in which he talked about Heart of Darkness, Run Lola Run, The Magus...and ''BeyondGoodAndEvil'' (can't remember what it was specifically on). The teacher loved it. ** Maybe your teacher thought you were talking about Nietsche. * Another subversion: this troper wrote final papers on the robots of IsaacAsimov, and on the science-fiction vs. fantasy argument over StarWars, for high school AP English. The teacher not only graded both papers "A", but continued to use the "Robots" paper as an example to future classes on what he was looking for in term papers. * Yet another subversion: This troper's university had and still has an entire semester course dedicated entirely to the serious literary critique of science fiction and fantasy themes, and their applicability to real-world issues. Discovering its existence and popularity was very gratifying, especially for fulfilling IT lib-ed credit reqs. ** This troper has a similar class at his University, except on Comic Books and Graphic Novels. Seeing The Killing Joke, Marvel 1602, and Sandman sitting at the textbook sale right between the art history texts and the huge geology textbooks? Amusing, to say the least. * This troper is just amazed how narrowed the "level of acceptability" is, even amongst Fantasy and Sci-Fi fans. Her parents used mocked some of her Fantasy and Mecha anime, despite being avid readers of Mercedes Lackey and Orson Scott Card - who often explored some of the same themes. Fortunately they learned to knock it off. ** Not to mention SF people who hate the very term science fiction or "skiffy", preferring speculative fiction. Because a rose by any other name... *** Whereas this troper prefers the term speculative fiction because it avoids the incredibly pointless debate over weather some borderline cases are sci-fi or fantasy. (At least when he's not gleefully referring to most tv SF as science fantasy due to the lack of actual science in them) * This troper is surprised he got away with an essay on his statelevel final exam in a high school English class that discussed Star Wars and Wheel of Time. He knows he got away with it because his grade on the exam was awesome. That said, he's also certain that, in a college creative writing class, he only got away with a story of a man stealing his infant son's soul at his shadow's urging because he

didn't frame it in terms of magic, despite it having to be some kind of magic in order for that to work. He's certain that if he did his other idea, how an immortal creature could hide amongst humans (without constantly moving around), it would have gone over far worse. * ThisTroper recently had a conversation about this starting when a girl saw [[LordOfTheRings The Fellowship of the Ring]] in her bag and said "You actually ''like'' that?". She went on to say that she didn't like Fantasy because it wasn't real (actually a good reason to not read Fantasy, though it comes across as idiotic) and she preferred Realistic Fiction, like Jodi Picoult, because it's about things actually applicable to today's society, "like school shootings". Apparently the concept of metaphor completely escapes her, as well as reading a book for the story. I also asked her if she read Historical Fiction, but everyone was talking so loud I couldn't hear her answer. ** So, how did this girl like Jodi Picoult's run on the ''Wonder Woman'' comic? *** This troper loves SF and fantasy, but also loves medieval literature, to the point where she can read Middle English without slowing down. It seems like neither the SF fans or the literature crowd likes this. **** They don't. I don't mind, though. * This troper had a sweet love of Graduate school in physics due to the inversion, with most professors being heavy critics of bad SciFi, but loving the good stuff. The only bad thing was taking a course in Nanotechnology that has made this troper an agnostic about nanobots. * Proving that the bias is not limited exclusively to literature, this troper was told on day one of a screenwriting workshop that we were there to create art, so "don't write genre crap like Star Wars." ** And I had the opposite experience when I took a screenwriting class in college (granted, it was "Screenwriting for Non-Film Majors"). I wrote a ''Star Trek''-esque story, and the instructor not only loved it he wanted me to expand it out to a full 120-page script instead of the 40-page "treatment" we had to write for the grade. *** When I took mine, it was from one of the professors who taught Sam "Evil Dead" Raimi when he went to Michigan State. My first short was a romance. Graded crap. My feature length was a cyberpunkblaxploitation-comedy-action film. Four-point-oh. * This troper has seen plenty of aversions, subversions, and inversions: ** A list of books for an optional summer reading assignment included ''{{Dune}}'', ''Childhood's End'', and the ''{{Lensman}}'' novels. ** During philosophy class (which was basically an analysis of Plato's ''Republic''), the teacher showed ''PlanetOfTheApes'', because the ape society in the film strongly resembles that envisioned in the ''Republic''. ** And ''TheMatrix'' is quite simply Plato's ''The Allegory of the Cave'' with sci-fi trappings. *** This Troper's philosophy teacher showed ''TheMatrix'' and ''MinorityReport'', to demostration ''The Allegory of the Cave'' and predestination, respectively. It was enjoyed by all. ** And then there's the assignments I've handed in. The crowning example was an assignment to write a story about a character different

from myself. I simply took my current [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]] character - a female tiefling warlock with a vendetta against demons and wrote a story about her infiltrating and massacring an evil cult. In addition to the good grade, the teacher recognized that it was fantasy, commenting that "You are very much at home in this genre." * For his high school AP English class, this troper had to write an essay on angels and demons in literature. He picked the novel "Swan Song" by Robert [=McCammon=], specifically the Man with the Scarlet Eye (think Randall Flag from "The Stand," but in a post-nuclear war setting instead of a post-plague setting). I figured the teacher would want something different instead of more essays on {{Paradise Lost}} or {{The Screwtape Letters}}. I personally thought (and still think) it was some of my finest work. I walked into class the day it was due, handed it to my teacher, and was walking to my desk when she called me back to the front. She literally SHOVED the essay into my chest and said "did you think this assignment was a joke?" She proceeded to RIP into horror and sci-fi, saying there were no works of "comparable literary merit" in either genre, penned by authors who had no talent to create anything better and were the writing equivalent of PE teachers. I asked her to please at least look the essay over, and she snapped "I won't waste my time on horror authors." Of course, I had to respond "so I guess we can take the Edgar Allen Poe and Shirley Jackson novels off your bookshelf?" She gave me the weekend to rewrite my essay on a more "worthy" work. On Monday, I handed her my essay...a look at the angels and demons prevalent in ''GoodOmens''. * One of the lecturers at [[{{Bisyss}} This Troper]]'s university has averted this, hard. The reading list for the lesson is ''nothing but'' Sci-Fi, including ''JurassicPark'', ''[[ArthurCClarke Profiles of the Future]]'', ''[[PhilipKDick Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep]]?'' and, erm, ''[[DanBrown Digital Fortress]]''. To put this into perspective, the lesson is part of a computing course. ** Tell me you guys only read Digital Fortress to rip into bad fiction or to explain how to fail at crypto. I read that, and it was impressively bad. *** As a consistent supporter of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, this troper was offended that Dan Brown considers him part of a rabble of irresponsible miscreants subverting the good and noble work of the National Security Agency. * {{theFirebottle}}'s university has a creative writing department that is a black hole of literary fiction snobbery. In response to an inquiry about an advanced fiction writing workshop which mentioned sci-fi, directed to a very well-respected professor in the department, came a rude response that said genre fiction was unacceptable for assignments. Before that, I took a basic CW class in which I submitted a ten page sci-fi story with most of the 'verse stripped out and still got blank looks from not only the professor but ''the entire class''. They could not grasp even the simplest elements of ''space opera''. ** UCSC? * Mostly averted with [[{{Sikon}} me]]. In English classes in university (we're Russian), we used to watch movies in English, from ''Main/MrsDoubtfire'' and ''Main/WhatWomenWant'' to ''Main/PiratesOfTheCaribbean'' and ''Main/BackToTheFuture''. And on

one operating systems lecture, we watched ''Main/WarGames'' to analyze security flaws and exploits featured in the movie. However, in literature classes back at school, the only thing I remember that was at least vaguely SF was Zamyatin's ''We''. * In his graduate level creative writing course, this trooper ended up being the only genre writer in the midst of a bunch of experimentalists and "real writers". the ones that write ''real'' literature. He passed out a completely fantasy piece and most of the comments focused on things like, "I never knew wizards went to the bathroom". Personally he thinks his works were much better than the guy who wrote the same story five times, each time leaving out a different vowel. * This troper had to write an essay comparing The War of the Worlds (1953 film) to the book and then to Independence Day for GCSE English. Before this was varying essays on The Time Machine, A Sound of Thunder and other scifi short stories. A* all the way. In retrospect, I liked my English lessons! * This troper has been spared this reaction from others, to some degree, but mostly because all his friends love genres like this as well. However, being a snarker by trade and training, that hasn't stopped ''this troper himself'' from applying it to his work. Result being he can't write anything fantasy or sci-fi unless there is something different about it that can be explored throughout the story. * Sort of a subversion- when it came time for us to write a mini-essay proposing ideas for a project, this troper chose to propose a project based on comics. The teacher loved it. (Project wasn't done, though.) * This troper was extremely nervous when she submitted her first scifi piece three weeks into in a graduate level playwriting class. Each week, every student in the class had to submit that week's assignment, plus re-writes from the previous week, and EVERYTHING was read out loud (which, given that it was a playwriting class, made sense)--this gave the me the added ear of "Oh God, I Will Be Ghettoized My Peers" to the pre-existing fear of "My Award Winning and "Literary" Playwright-Professor is Going to Rip My Creativity a New One". The class was initially sniffy nosed, and "Oh, this is not ART, my 30-page 'Spoken Word Opera' about fucking God the devil in my father's hospital room (I really wish I was making this up) is ART!" but grew to love the installments of the two (very sci-fi) plays I wrote so much that I would get e-mails in the days leading up to class begging for spoilers. And professor? Right after that first read through, she started laughing and clapping her hands, and I thought "Balls". Then she said it was most inventive leap anyone had taken in the class in years, and straight up berated the rest of the class that they were being narrow minded by ghettoizing science fiction. I later found out that said professor once got Margaret Atwood to admit that "The Handmaid's Tale" was science fiction, while the latter was, ahem, slightly under the influence at a literary gala. [[CrowningMomentofAwesome Real life literary Crowning Moment of Awesome]], well, at least in my book. ** Seconded. ** That professor wins an internet.

* Subeverted in the life of [[{{Ronnie}} this troper]], who's gotten perfect grades on character analysis of [[DannyPhantom Daniel Fenton]] and [[HarleyQuinn Harleen Quinnzel]], and an in-depth study of the DannyPhantom special "The Ultimate Enemy". ** Link please. I am intrigued. *** As you wish: [[http://littleblogofstuff.blogspot.com/ here it is, all in one place.]] You can probably tell which are newer. * This troper, a semipro SF writer himself, has seen this trope both inverted and straight: Inverted, in that his first essay for college was "Two Godless Undead Demons and a Little Lady" about Interview with the Vampire, to high marks...and that teacher helped him get started on his SF writing career anyway. Straight, in that he's attended several writing conventions and seminars, at the same college. In several of the seminars or workshops, he's seen rules that dictate "no genre fiction" or had the teacher explicitly state that genre fiction was lesser than Literary Fiction. His favorite example prompted this exchange: -->"Genre fiction is necessarily limited by conventions, and cannot transcend them." -->"What about science fiction, in the alternate histories of Philip K. Dick or the earthbound underdog stories of the cyberpunk movement?" -->"Well, science fiction can't be literature, because it's about ideas." -->"..." ** Fortunately, the rest of the class begged the question... * An illustration of how fantasy is even more ghettoised than scifi: [[VampireBuddha This troper]] took a module for final year Microbiology at university entitled "Introduction to post-rationalist biology" which entailed a group of us having a friendly chat with the professor in his office. The discussion entered the realm of perspective, and I brought up the Total Perspective Vortex from ''TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy''. The professor was also familiar with this, and then spent some time comparing Douglas Adams to Terry '{{Discworld}}' Pratchett. He casually mentioned that they both wrote very imaginative and very funny science fiction. ** "Only You Can Save Mankind" (by Pratchett) qualifies as science fiction. * subverted(I guess) This troper actually used both Doctor Who and the Borg in his English Literature final essays-- The Doctor as the epitome of a Byronic hero, and the Borg as example of what can happen when technology goes too far. The teacher in question showed us Gattaca and Star Wars, as well as 1984. I inhaled it all while my classmates asked dumb questions or slobbered over the actresses(vocally that is). As for the exams, I'm not sure what my teacher thought of those essays, but I passed with an A, sooooo.... * This troper normally enjoys her creative writing class (and gets away with not being able to write fantasy by writing about [[WriteWhoYouKnow geeks in their natural habitat]] instead), but she wanted to throttle several folks when they began to critique a fellow writer's pretty cool story about the Roman occupation of ancient Britain with "At first, I was so pissed off because I thought this was

going to be some fantasy story, with orcs and crap...," and her blood pressure reached its peak when her professor herself said, "Perhaps you should establish that this is a historical setting earlier, and not the kind of fantasy setting that readers of [[SeriousBusiness Serious Literature]] want to see." To be fair, one of the designated defenders of sci-fi in the class got suitably annoyed: "I don't see why I can't write about Captain Valentine on the Spaceship Starborne and his struggles with meth addiction if he can write about Roman centurions' interpersonal relationships." * This troper had to take a written expression class at college. The main assignment was to read Jose Saramago's ''Blindness'' and write an essay on it. She got so bored and fed up with the [[{{Anvilicious}} anvilicious]] MagicRealism of the book that she ended up writing an essay in which she demonstrated that the theme of blindness as a metaphor on lack of empathy in the book had already been used by H.G. Wells in ''The Country of the Blind'' and John Wyndham in ''The Day of the Triffids'', and how only the magic realism tag was the only thing that separated Saramago from the SciFiGhetto and kept it in the High Literature shelves. She still passed :) * Like some of the others above, this troper had a class in college that was all about Science Fiction novels and their commentary on society. It was awesome (not least because the teacher was out of his gourd). Then, in his home life, it's played straight by his father, who loves westerns, but refuses to watch ''{{Firefly}}'' because it's sci fi, at one point dismissing it saying, "I don't want to watch anything with cutesy robots in it." Because if something's science fiction, it ''must'' have cute robots in it. * HEADDESK* ** When did your father grow up? There was a time when having a cutesy robot was practically a rule. It wasn't until Star Trek that TV Sci-Fi matured and gained true literary merit (this actually depends on how you define Sci-Fi, but I'm talking about spaceship stuff here). * ThisTroper thinks she has you all beat: at both High School and University, she has submitted not just sci fi/fantasy works, but actual ''fanfiction'' of sci fi/fantasy. Yes, I got an A for writing HarryPotter fanfic. ** This troper'll do you one better--she got an A++ on a ''{{Batman}}'' fanfic with a ''blatantly obvious'' MarySue. The teacher grading it said the piece was "masterful". She also turned in several chapters of an ongoing sci-fi epic she was writing at the time (that she ''swears'' she will do something with one of these days). ** [[XanderK This troper]] got a B+ on a {{Yaoi}} fanfic, about [[KingdomHearts Sora and Riku]]. ** When I was fourteen I got my grade for the whole semester bumped up from a C to an A for writing Discworld fanfiction. I didn't even write it for an assignment. I wrote it for fun. Looking over it five years on, it's not even that good. ** In eighth grade, this troper received a 110% on a ''Boba Fett'' story. It was the proudest moment of his middle school career. ** [[{{Lemurian}} This Troper]] aced an English-tentamen while in Junior High with a ''{{Runescape}}''-fanfiction. ** [[{{Alloflifedecays}} This troper]] got an A* at GCSE for a Sandman Finfic revolving around Death.

*** About all this fanfiction stuff: A while ago, it would have surprised me to see self insert mary sue fanfiction be loved. However, considering the fact that Twilight, which is nothing more than a self insert mary sue (and marty stu) piece of fanfiction got published, I've realized, instead, that people simply have no taste. **** I Object! Comparing anything to Twilight is an insult to bad fanfics everywhere! **** ''Most'' bad fanfics - I'll see your Twilight and raise you the early works of Stephen Ratilff... **** There's nothing wrong with a well written Mary Sue. They also tend to be known as 'Protagonists'. It's only when you have the poorly written ones it becomes an issue. * Subversion - This Troper once made a sprite comic wrote a short folklore story for English class... both dealing with Pokmon. There was no problem with either one of those. Of course, it helped that one of those teachers was a Pokmon fan himself. Oh, and in a different year, we watched Star Wars (A New Hope) and compared it to the Odyssey. * This anonymous troper managed to get away with not only submitting fantasy fiction, but '''gaming fantasy fiction''' in his university English classes. (If you think fantasy has it bad, gaming fiction has it even worse.) While the assignments still didn't get very good grades, it was due to the fact that the writing was so lousy as to qualify for {{Old Shame}} status, as opposed to the fantasy settings this troper used. * A subversion: when asked to write an essay explaining why he wanted to go to the US Naval Academy, this troper wrote about [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]] and paladins, and how he thought the military, in its better moments, shared some traits with paladins. Despite multiple warnings from family and teachers, he submitted it. He is assuming it didn't go over too badly, since he did get accepted. On a related note, he compared magic and artifice, also from [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]], with real-world engineering for a Massachusetts Institute of Technology essay, and got accepted there as well. ** Judging by how many gamers there apparently are in the military, this troper is not surprised. ** Considering how many gamers and pagans are at MIT, this troper is also not surprised. * Subversion - this troper once got away with writing a term paper on Marxist themes of ideology in... ''[[TheWorldOfDarkness Mage: the Ascension]]''. He had to go to nearly every office hours period the professor had for three weeks, constantly presenting evidence from the various sourcebooks and how they lined up with Marx's theories of class consciousness (Awakening) and the hegemony (the Technocracy). Not only did he get the paper approved, he got an A- on it (because he didn't mention economics nearly enough). * ThisTroper's life has thankfully been filled with subversions. In high school, I got the ''cool'' English lit professor, who enjoyed what was largely an X-Men fanfiction (guest-starring Bill Clinton and Rush Limbaugh!), who showed us GATTACA, and who was interested in the BattleTech novels after ThisTroper mentioned them (specifically, the

Clans) in comparison to GATTACA on an essay question for an exam. Then, in college, the prof ''went out of her way'' to get people to connect religion to pop culture and genre fiction. (ThisTroper's group did StarWars as compared with the world's major religions, but ThisTroper also talked with the prof after class and brought up VampireTheMasquerade.) * Oh boy: ** One assignment was to write a story about the further adventures of Odysseus. One of the main points that everyone was told was that it could NOT be a time travel story (apparently, the year before every kid who did the assignment basically had a story about them meeting Odysseus or about Odysseus coming to the high school). So I just wrote a story about Odysseus getting lost in a forest. A forest where Nazis and Zombies are in a constant fight (I never CALLED them Nazis or Zombies, but anyone reading closely could figure it out by how they are described as looking). And Odysseus beats both sides by riding a dinosaur through them (of course, I described the dinosaur as if it were some type of Greek Mythological creature that had been lost to history). ** We had the same assignment at my high school, except you had to reimagine two of his obstacles instead. I set the entire thing in space with the cyclopes made into a space-station/monster thing. I got a perfect score on this essay, one of only two such scores I got that year. ** Creative writing assignment. I did a story about a InterdimensionalCafe. Everyone groaned until they actually read the freaking story, after which they generally admitted it was pretty good. * Subverted in this troper's Higher English class. The teacher said that she was not a fan of sci-fi, but I did a personal study on ''Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell'' and wrote a definitely sci-fi short story which the teacher was so impressed with that she wasn't even told to redraft it. I was one out of two people to get the best possible grade that year. * This troper was in a course on television production and had to make a short video about "a first day of school." All of the videos in the class were basic, Disney Channel-esque teen comedies, while this troper's video was about an alien going to a human school. Oddly enough, the teacher thoroughly enjoyed it, and it turned out to be one of the most popular videos in the class. * [[{{Regiment}} This troper]] almost got into an argument in a college short-story class over whether or not Ray Bradbury is a science fiction author. He thought that since Bradbury writes mostly ''fiction'' that takes place in the future amidst ''science'', he would be a sci-fi author by definition. Apparently it's only sci-fi if it's drowning in {{Technobabble}}. Honestly- it's a story that takes place on Venus. I'm hard-pressed to decide why it's not sci-fi. Of course, Bradbury writes TrueArt, but nowhere does it say that sci-fi isn't TrueArt. Argh. And when the professor asked if anyone in the class was a sci-fi fan, he said that in the careful tone of someone asking if anyone in the class reads porn. * Happy averted in this troper's senior year of high school, wherein

he wrote his thesis connecting H.G. Wells and Charles Darwin. This troper forgets exactly what he proved, but his teacher ate it up. ** Then, in college, there was a bizarre inversion/example of this trope. He wrote a 20-page short story for the class. In the first draft, the placeholder title was "Tips For Living In A Crumbling Society." Most of his classmates thought the story was too "sci-fi" or "futuristic," or that he "didn't do enough to convey the postapocalyptic setting." What the hell? That's straight outta left field! This troper admits that his scenery detail sucked in the first draft, but the story was about MERCENARIES on present-day Earth. They go on a mission to retrieve something, end of story. To be sure, there was a scene of someone reading their email, but come on. I now know the power of titles. * Another subversion for this troper, when she was asked to write an essay analyzing an example, real-world or fictional, of a society often considered deeply flawed or outright evil, and why that appearance is or is not justified. She chose the Imperium of Man from ''{{Warhammer 40000}}'', and got an A on the paper. * In this troper's end of semester evaluation of the module (Introduction to Advanced Literary Studies, as part of an English/History degree) when asked what else could have improved the module, this troper suggested including Frank Herbert's Dune to broaden the syllabus somewhat. He has no idea if it will help, but at least he tried. ** Slightly subverted: when discussing his favorite novel at the beginning of the year, following such books put forward by other students as ''To Kill A Mockingbird'' and ''Huckleberry Finn'', the same troper managed to argue his case for Peter F. Hamilton's Fallen Dragon. And did it pretty well, even if he does say so himself. Particularly given that he was the only male in the room. * This troper argued with his English teacher that {{1984}} was science fiction. The teacher refused to see it that way. As well, I have a Dad who raised me reading Discworld (without mention of rishathra) as a bedtime story. He refuses to see how Neon Genesis Evangelion could have any worth at all, let alone any other anime. At least I managed to finally get him to watch MysteryScienceTheater3000. ** Why are you confusing Discworld and Ringworld? * Not ''entirely'' sure if it counts, but {{Nixon}}'s art teacher said he could count his [[YoutubePoop YTPs]] as part of his folio. ''That''. Is. Awesome. * Only slightly related but in a university Systems Engineering class this troper was given the assignment to right about any subject from a systems analysis viewpoint. The subject I chose was the effectiveness of different heavy weapons in Warhammer40K (got a good grade on it as well). * Although this troper is not incredibly fond of his compulsory literature courses in the university (he studies linguistics), he is happy to see this trope heavily averted by his literature teacher, who openly calls classics like ''1984'' science fiction, and gets snarky about writers and professors who refuse to admit that some of the greatest works of English literature can be fit into the genre. Also, he wrote a lengthy essay about ''His Dark Materials'', trying to bring

out both the anti-religious and religious views of the book out, pointing out for example that a true Christian should love the ending of the book, which involves the destruction of a false God, and that the Republic of Heaven is an excellent upgrade from the Kingdom of Heaven, considering the social shift to democracy in the Christian countries. The teacher, quite a religious person herself, gave him full score! * This troper was fortunate enough to have a course dedicated to Science Fiction in college. Of course, the key thing is that the books & movies had to be "hard" science fiction, not science fantasy (ie, ''Metropolis'' & ''The Day The Earth Stood Still'' [original] were part of the curriculum, but no ''StarWars''). ** Metropolis and Day the Earth Stood Still are just as soft as StarWars, they just lack the magical element. Hell, Metropolis is as soft as most New Wave. * Averted. This troper's Religious Studies and Asian Studies professors, both unabashed sci-fi fans, have a rather open policy about sharing class materials. So Sakuramachi gives Krupt ''{{Madlax}}'' because it has Kierkegaardian themes, and Krupt gives Sakuramachi ''[[CosyCatastrophe The Kraken Wakes]]'' because [[spoiler: Japan saves the day in the end]]. Somehow, both are able to use ''ACanticleForLeibowitz''. * This troper was recently treated to the argument that a certain work couldn't be science fiction because it addresses the social implications of its hypothetical technologies. ** That's a good 80% of sci-fi's function! Asimov? Verne? ''StarTrek''? ''GhostInTheShell''? Any of this ringing a bell? * Walter Miller dismissed as 'pulp'. I WISH I was making this up, I really do. * [[{{Gerusz}} This troper]] feels himself quite lucky, because his friends usually know something about the basic sci-fi books and series, even if they are not fans. On the other hand, the TV stations in his country... for example, StargateSG1 ran on Saturdays afternoon for a while, then it was exiled to Thursdays 11 PM. There's only one dedicated SF channel, but it shows re-runs. Damn, this troper doesn't think he'll live to see the 8th season of SG-1 in his language :-S ** What language is that? ** Hungarian. *** We ''do'' (more accurately: did) have [=SG-1=] Seasons 8 and 9 now in Hungarian, so it is probably still being translated. The main problem is that the channel feels obliged to restart the series when they are done with a season, which - [=SG-1=] being the longest liveaction sci-fi show to date - takes a loooooong time. Also, some of the translations are [[TheyJustDidntCare worse then what I could have done at age 16]], so I don't really ''like'' to watch it in Hungarian... *** Yeah, BlindIdiotTranslation. Sometimes this troper wonders why don't they hire some fans who can speak English instead of these "professional" translators. * [[{{Zeta}} ThisTroper's]] college English textbook says at the very beginning "established literary fiction is to be distinguished from the tawdry pornography seen in spy, detective, Western, romance, science fiction, or fantasy stories." True Art is apparently two women

washing laundry while talking about the death of their dog, I suppose. ** "Tawdry pornography"? Part of why this troper doesn't read "established literary fiction" is the sordid portrayals of sexuality! You can find lots of SF, fantasy, and Westerns with no sex, or sex ''that has to do with romance'', and it's almost never the whole plot; huge swathes of mainstream "literary" fiction is nothing ''but'' lovingly detailed explorations of people's tawdry, self-indulgent adulterieswith emphasis on the [[FanDisservice goopy-sticky]] aspects of sex rather than the romantic ones. Yeah, there's a place for stories like that, but if they form the preponderance of your output you lose the right to call other people's stuff "tawdry". ** This troper's English text her senior year in high school said that genre was not important for quality literature - it could take concepts and settings that don't exist and never will and still make them say something important. This surprised her. ** {{rutheni}} seems to have been reading the wrong detective stories, Westerns, romances, science fiction, and fantasy stories, IfYouKnowWhatIMean * One of the two 4th year English teachers at this troper's high school used ''Dune'' as an assigned book. (I didn't have her, though) * This troper averted the trope, with his only worthwhile piece of work in his whole english GCSE. The creative writing piece required was pure and unashamed Sci-Fi, being the first chapter of the story of a test tube grown warrior woman who would ostensibly go up against a fascist world government (and at various points rode a hover bike). The teacher caused some confusion by handing the troper his work back scowling, it transpired that it was because it was the only piece she had ever awarded full marks. She then inquired as to the possibility of getting previous pieces redone, as none had previously achieved higher than a B. * This Troper's sister does not like fantasy. This means that nothing she likes is fantasy, including HisDarkMaterials by Phillip Pullman it's ''philosophy''. This Troper tried to argue that it could be both, but was ignored. ** It's religious fiction. Similarly, Richard Dawkins writes about religion, [[BerserkButton not philosophy]], so they should not put his books there. * Another subversion by essay, on account of [[AndyWaltfeld This Troper]]: When my English 111 course switched tack on a essay from "make your own conspiracy theory" to "find and disseminate a conspiracy theory" due to lack of entries, I requested to submit mine using the original assignment. The professor agreed... and the ensuing allegations that the [[SuperRobotWars Ze Balmary Empire]] was grooming [[CodeLyoko Jrmie Belpois]] for a job in intergalactic tech support wound up being my only A in that class. * Subverted, when asked if I like Sci-fi by my father, I said that I don't really watch much Sci-fi, then my father brought up that I had watched MST3K, to which I responded that it isn't Sci-fi. I ''knew'' that it was Sci-fi, I ''meant'' that it focuses more on comedy. ** This troper would submit that MST3K ''isn't'' Sci-Fi, but a comedy show that simply uses a science-fictional framing device. Seriously, replace the space station with a prison, the Mads with sadistic

wardens, and turn the bots into fellow (human) prisoners, and the show's essential core -- forcing a prisoner to watch bad movies, while he keeps his sanity by mocking them -- would remain unchanged. True, it would lose a lot of its unique charm and be a lesser show for it (and some of the jokes wouldn't work if the Crow and Servo were humans), but the show's essential nature is comedy, not science fiction. *** Anyone who knows what kind of ''[[ExecutiveMeddling hell]]'' the [=SciFi=] Channel put them through to play up the scifi-nessonly being allowed to do SF movies, though somehow "Girl in Gold Boots" got pastwould have to agree. It started on the Comedy Channel, not the [=SciFi Channel=], for a reason (that reason probably being that [=SciFi=] didn't exist yet, but where they started is still symbolic). * Australian high schools (well, mine at least) have an unwritten rule about sci-fi: if you want to use it and it's younger than the person setting the curriculum, it has to be [[{{Anvilicious}} subtle as a sledgehammer]] in delivering the immortal message ScienceIsBad. As in, the two sci-fis used are ''GATTACA'' (message: genetic engineering leads to fascism, delivered with loud thudding noises) and ''BraveNewWorld'', which at least acknowledged that science wasn't necessarily populated entirely by amoral meddlers. By killing most of them off in the name of social stability, admittedly by the bad guys. This troper spent more time in class defending genetic engineering research than he did actually analysing ''GATTACA''; almost certainly ''not'' what the director intended. ** I always thought the message of ''[=Gattaca=]'' was twofold. One: Sufficient will overcomes obstacles; and Two: Genentech should spread far and wide, otherwise shit like ''this'' will happen. *** [[DarthWiki/WarpThatAesop It's actually "as long as you're following your dreams, it doesn't matter how criminally irresponsible you're being"]]. But seriously, folks, it has the line "We now have discrimination down to a fine science", and the fact that the hero wasn't genetically engineered makes your suggestion, at best, a Badly BrokenAesop. ** The message of Gattaca is, "transhumanism in an unequal society will just exacerbate already-existing social inequalities." Is anyone going to pretend that's not true? * Averted in this troper's GCSE English exam, in which for my creative peace I wrote a story about two teenage necromancers falling in love while living in their necromancer's enclave in the desert. Got an A. * [[{{Pepinson}} This Troper]] just dropped a class over various creative differences with the teacher--not the least of which was best expressed in an incident on the first day. She chided us all against the dangers of writing "genre fiction," then read us a story about a woman raising her own spare-parts clone. She called it--what else?-MagicRealism. * This troper thankfully subverted the Sci Fi Ghetto in a high school English class... when told to write a paper on a prominent American literary author, he chose [[HPLovecraft H.P. Lovecraft]], put in numerous quotes of his wonderfully loquacious descriptions and story synopses, and got an A. ** Lovecraft wrote both fantasy and sci-fi. He's considered a fantasy

author. ** Isn't he considered a horror writer, first and foremost? His stories can fit fantasy and science fiction, but primarily they are intended to scare. * This Troper had the pleasure of having an entire University class on "Speculative Fiction" but had to put up with a professor that ''demanded'' that any examples be treated as [[SeriousBusiness HIGH ART]]. For example, to utter the abreviation "Sci-Fi" was to invite outright death because SciFi is boorish, hack writing made for titillating the unwashed masses, while "Speculative Fiction" is highbrow literature that explores the implications of society and the multi-faceted nature of how human beings perceive the universe. Apparently SciFi (sorry, ''Speculative Fiction'') is fine, as long as you're not planning to write for ''entertainment''. * [[{{Aela}} This troper]] is currently writing a two-part novel that lurches between fantasy and science fiction. She has a good friend, a better writer than she, who basically thinks all sci-fi and fantasy (outside of a very narrow pool) is garbage, because it's not "literary" or "realistic," once advising her that "you should avoid genre fiction, because it's shallow." So this troper listens to her go on about her "literary" stories ''every day'' but can't talk about her pet project. Also, the same friend dismissed this troper's [[Series/DoctorWho favorite show]] after seeing roughly an hour of it. It frustrates her. ** [[EddieVanHelsing This troper]] used to date a woman with a similar attitude. This attitude is one of many reasons they broke up. Have you considered getting a better friend? Good friends don't put down their friends' writing just because they're not "literary". * [[InvertedTrope Inverted]] with this troper's high-school English teacher. Being a feminist with a minor in philosophy makes Shakespeare [[UnfortunateImplications a lot less respectable]] and Sci-Fi a lot more so. * This troper was unable to do Watchmen for a paper about the influence contemporary history had on a work from the time period. We could do pretty much any art form as long as the teacher approved, the most often done ones are Film and Literature, but some people do paintings and music. What makes it worse is that other teachers did allow it. * Averted by this troper's ''Mother''. After teaching High School English for decades, she found that her students often hated reading ''more'' after taking her class, or any other English class, really. The curriculum was generally filled with such "classics" as ''The Great Gatsby'', ''Robinson Crusoe'', ''The Scarlet Letter'', etc. She eventually asked this troper for advice. "What about ''Ender's Game''?" I asked. After reading it herself, she assigned it to her students. For the first time in history, a significant portion of the class (at least half) read the chapters before they were due and finished the book at least a week early. Since then she has assigned ''Ender's Game'' every year and even has students who take her class just to read that book. * Thankfully averted in this troper's case - he just got an A on a paper discussing how Stephen King's ''The Tommyknockers'' was affected

by his drug addiction (he also managed to work a subtle reference to Half-Life 2 into the essay, which went right over the teacher's head). * Averted by [[{{Civanfan}} This Troper]] - for a Mesoamerican Art History Paper, the teacher had assigned us to daunting task of pointing out the historical errors of Mel Gibson's ''Apocalypto''. I did so, but also pointed out the reason all those errors were occurring. It wasn't [[DidNotDoTheResearch bad research!]] It wasn't because TheyJustDidntCare! It was because there was a space-time anomaly that was mashing past, present and future together into one endless, simultaneous moment, thus making ''Apocalypto'' a sci-fi movie. My theory explained every continuity error, every bizarre break from history, how the Spanish got to South America four hundred years too early, everything! ''And'' I got an A! * This troper is writing a semi-fanfic about an invented former member of the X-Men working for NASA for which she has done tons of research. But she looses all the adults she knows at "It's about a superhero." ** This troper is working on a series of Superhero (my own creations) novel series. He can see a glaze in even some of his '''superhero geek pals''' when they learn that it's not being made in a comic book medium (its an actual book about super heroes with no pictures, IE literature.). ** What's his/her ability? Super-intellect? Survive vacuum? Manipulate gravity? * Subverted with this troper. Despite her English teacher being very, very old and rather conservative, said English teacher actively urges her students to read authors such as Orson Scott Card and Ray Bradbury, and many times the "classic stories of literary merit" we read in class end up being compared to things such as ''StarWars''. * Subverted by this troper from the teacher side of the equation. I had a class discussion about the societal implications of human cybernetic enhancement, using ''GhostInTheShell'', ''MegaManBattleNetwork'' (specifically Hub/Megaman) and ''{{Crackdown}}'' among my examples. Not to mention the evolution of the fictional society from ''Mega Man'' to ''MegaManZero''. Also had an English class where I compared the storytelling root structure of ''The Canturbury Tales'' to ''DragonQuest IV''. * Subverted in this troper's college class on literary theory. Our assignment was to write an essay applying a school of analysis to something that ''wasn't'' technically "literature". This troper chose ''FullMetalAlchemist'' and Derrida's deconstruction theory. The anime version, because it fit perfectly into what she wanted to write about. Her teacher loved it. He was also a self-proclaimed fan of HarryPotter, and once did a reading of an essay about the significance of the Mirror of Erised at this troper's college. * Hard aversion: a long time ago, in a classroom far, far away, this troper had to start a story with "The engine died, and I looked up in despair..." Not one to waste such an opportunity, [[{{Warhammer 40000}} he decided the engine belonged to a Leman Russ battle tank attached to a regiment of Imperial Guard fighting Tyranids.]] The teacher loved it so much it was read out to the rest of the class, to his considerable embarrassment. * [[LatwPIAT This Troper]] once had a school task where we had to

bring a book that changed us through reading it. Thinking I had never been changed significantly by a book, I ended up bringing a HighSchool Mathematics Learning Supplement I read while in primary school, talking about how it had developed already existing interests in me, but that no book had ever changed me. After some questions from a teacher, I said that the only work that had ever changed me was a Graphic Novel, so I couldn't have chosen it for a book task, whereupn my teacher corrected me and said that comics are just as much as wholy written works, and I could have brough it. I later discovered that not only one, but ''two'' teachers (of whioch the aforementioned teacher is one) in my school use ''Maus'' in their lessons. I'm still glad I went with the math book though, for two reasons: A) I would have looked very out of the ordinary, and B) '''I am not''' bringing my ''uncencored'' copy of ''GhostInTheShell'' to school unless a task specifically calls for something like that. * Somewhat of a subversion. The Literary Club at this troper's school has been reading mostly historical fiction or absurdist social commentaries([[MindScrew about Rhinos]]). The last assignment for this year however is a free choice assignment, as in we can pick any book we want. The only stipulation being that it HAS to come from either the Horror, Fantasy, or Science Fiction genres. * This troper recent overheard another member of his study abroad program act surprised that The Lord of the Rings was going to be added to the AP Literature list of books that can be taught for the AP Lit test, and question its merit. This troper didn';t say anything, but did do a sort of mental facepalm. * This troper had a GCSE English coursework essay set on comparisons between Kingdom Hospital and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. He didn't have to do the essay, having already scored full marks on an essay that could be submitted for the same part of the course, but he loved watching the shows (Darkplace in particular). A couple of years before that, he had an English teacher who set the class the task of writing a horror story in the style of either Shirley Jackson or HP Lovecraft, while teaching us research techniques asked us to use them to produce a report on Cthulhu, gave us a story generator table that required use of a D4, ran a Call of Cthulhu roleplaying group, and loved the works of Alan Moore and Iain (M) Banks. A truly great teacher! ** Ah, and I forgot the time when he put us into groups and had each group devise the major civilisations and general ecosystem inside a Dyson Sphere, to be explained for as an oral exam. * Interestingly played in this troper's high school English classes books such as ''TheDayOfTheTriffids'', ''AClockworkOrange'', ''NineteenEightyFour'' and ''Master of the Grove'' were all required reading, but this troper's practice QCS essay was not looked upon favourably. Mainly because he wrote a TimeTravel story with [[EternalEnglish an orthography mangled to all hell and back]]. Also, ''ChildhoodsEnd'' was on a list of books suggested for review in the class he took when living in America. * This troper recalls a critic who said that fantasy wasnt real literature because, since the fantasy world "had no real rules," the author could "make up" whatever he needed to get past any obstacles in the story.... this troper's retort is that this was akin to saying

riding a unicycle was easier than riding a bicycle because it had one less wheel. * Subversion: My GCSE English teacher chastised the class for being unable to identify ''sarcasm'' of all things and suggested the read TheHitchhikersGuidetotheGalaxy and Discworld. Praising my interest in such books and in SF at the same time * In sci-fi circles themselves, [[TheGunheart this troper]] is getting bored of the attitude that HumongousMecha are somehow the worst element any work can include. ** [[@/{{Fishsicles}} Seconded.]] * This troper tried to invoke this during AP English his senior year. We were tasked with an impromptu essay on "the greatest challenge facing the world, citing literary examples." Most people wrote about war and natural disaster and social injustice; I wrote about the coming Dalek invasion. I also got the only A given by the teacher, who ''did not even own a TV because it was a distraction from his books.'' ** Probably reads the novels. * Glorious subversion: ''{{Watchmen}}'' and ''TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' are both ''assigned texts'' in this troper's philosophy class. Moreover, all of the required films for the course are either science fiction or fantasy. My professor is a wonderful guy. * Subverted and played straight for this troper. TheMatrix is part of Stage 1 English Communications for my school, but my past english teacher did not like scifi at all. This tropers mother tends to give her looks of disdain whenever anything related to popular culture is mentioned in relation to my English class (last year we did a unit on soap operas. Which is now why I never ever say anything about my English class for fear of a repeat of this incident.). * Subverted in my freshman year English 101 course, where the teacher was forced to assign a textbook and two novels. The textbook? "Comic Book Nation: The Transformation of Youth Culture in America" by Bradford W. Wright. The novels? "Comic Chix" (an unfortunately named collection of comics with female artists) and "The Dark Knight Returns". * In a weird inversion, I took a class entitled "Feminism and Science Fiction." I was disappointed to find out the assigned reading material was all lightly speculative fiction with almost no real sci-fi to be seen. When I asked the two professors teaching the course why theere was no real science fiction, they both made vague arguments that amounted to "Oh science fiction is all garbage, we just called the class that because it's popular, but we would never lower ourselves to read ''genre'' fiction." This troper was greatly disappointed. * This Troper has always been a sci-fi fan and during my school career he was tasked with at writing at least one short story. Although science-fiction or other "literature with little broad public appeal" were discouraged, he came up with a science fiction plot. Set in a future where the British government has become obsessed with providing ever-"better" education for its people, it sees a group of teenagers being flown to an island in the North Sea where they are entered into a harshly-regulated society, where they are brainwashed and "converted" into the perfect citizens due to revolutionary social

engineering and other measures. It's later revealed that it's set in a future where, after decades of educational reforms and by effectively forcing all students to pursue extended education, most education certificates and degrees have become meaningless, with mass unemployment and crime as generations are raised by a system that values academic ability over human potential and preparedness for life, and everyone is therefore brainwashed into being "the same". An epilogue shows the British Prime Minister speaking with scientists who are working on creating "synthetic humans" - fully organic organisms based on nature's design, but with improvements including increased learning capability. While my story was the only sci-fi work submitted, and while it was very critical of the British education system, my teacher was amazed by the implied depth of the fictional world and the message that could be conveyed in a hypothetical session - she gave the story full marks and even gave copies of it to all of her other classes, and later admitted to me that she'd been wary of sci-fi but that I'd helped open her eyes up to the literary merit that it held. * Averted amazingly by this troper's Freshman english teacher, he used an episode of the twilight zone to teach. ** [[XanderK This troper]]'s Sophomore english teacher used an episode as well. * I was in a book shop earlier today, and heard a woman ask an employee about ''TheTimeTravellersWife'' -->'''Woman:'''''(warily)'' So, is this science fiction?\\ '''Employee:''' Well, only in the sense that he ''does'' travel back in time, but it's set in the present day and everything...\\ '''Woman:''' Oh no, I don't like that. * This troper would like to point out the real issue that many college professors in creative writing or literature have with Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Specifically, they at some point tried to be a writer rather than a teacher. They did not sell well. They saw other people selling well, and now have unspeakable rage. It's the same reason why writing to 'entertain' is bad. Making money is obviously evil if the teacher cant manage it. * I am a Swedish SF entusiast. When I went to secondary school (i.e. age 17-19) in 1977, we had to do a really thick essay in the final year with a free choice of subject. I chose to wrote a science fiction novella. My Swedish teacher accepted the subject without discomfort; she was quite happy that anyone wanted to do a piece of fiction under her aegis instead of writing on history or science. Also, that year in English class we were supposed to read and review a thick serious novel; I chose The Silmarillion, which was fresh from the presses and had to be bought by mail order from London. My teacher was delighted. (In those days, most Swedes associated SF with [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlyingSaucers UFOs]], Flash Gordon or Jules Verne and considered it wo be a weird fringe interest.) * This troper had to argue for the right to use scifi/fantasy artists as the subject of a paper for an Art History class. Teacher was dubious that anyone painting chicks in chainmail for paperback covers could actually be considered an artist. She gave in eventually though.

* This troper just doesn't like the label "Sci Fi", not for any quality judgement but just because ''Flash Gordon''-esque {{Fantasy}} [[AC:InSpace]] and scientific/political SpeculativeFiction are, while both perfectly legitimate genres, ''not remotely the same thing''. ** This troper likes the label Sci Fi for its pleasing rhyming, and points out that most space opera is actually harder science fiction than New Wave-style "SpeculativeFiction", which is only science fiction in the sense sociology is a science (i.e. [[MohsScaleOfSciFiHardness very softly]]). ''Scrupulously'' accurate hard sf is still Sci Fi, not speculative fiction ''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin because the story is driven by concepts from science]]''. But, of course, if you like it or think it's intelligent, it must be speculative fiction and not scifi. [[SarcasmMode Because that's not the kind of thinking responsible for the Ghetto in the first place, right?]] * In high school, this troper had to write a book report on the themes of any novel we chose with the only requirement being it had to be over a certain number of pages and had to be within our reading level range. I chose to do mine on A Game of Throne from A Song of Ice and Fire series. When the teacher found out it was fantasy, he said I couldn't do it since fantasy isn't true literature and could not possibly to have complex, mature themes. And yet he let other students do their reports on ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''. ** [[FlatWhat What]]...[[BigWhat WHAT]]!? [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2xDJPc-yaM&feature=related WHAAAAAT]]!?!? [[{{Angrish}} That piece of ffff...how can you justify...are you fucking kidding...you're honestly saying...FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT]]!! ** That is sooooo wrong.... ** I think you just broke my brain. * Averted by this troper's AP Language and Composition teacher. She wanted us to read a book from a list of college board choices over the winter break, but if we really wanted to, we could ask to read something else. She actually MADE a girl this troper knows read a book by T.A. Barron. (Admittedly, the teacher only assigned it after I recommended his work to her because she had never read anything by him, but still.) She's also letting me read GoodOmens for the project. * DrRockopolis once did a group report on {{Dune}} for high school English; not only was it accepted, but the group received an A, though I'm not sure if it was for the report, for reenacting the Gom Jabbar, or for the {{Dune}} version of the Banana Boat song. * Another delicious subversion: [[PhoenixFire I]] had a freshman English course about the perception of science in popular culture. When my professor let me write my final paper on the role of doctor/scientist characters in ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'' and ''[[TheDresdenFiles Dead Beat]]'', I gloated for a week. * [[Tropers/{{Zadia}} Zadia]] personally hates her English teachers for this. I love sci-fi and fantasy and have done so for years. However, my English teachers all turn up their noses at sci-fi and fantasy- none of them approve of my writing fantasy short stories, unless the topic is something to do with fantasy or sci-fi. Although one teacher is sort of OK with sci-fi (well, she liked [[EndersGame

Ender's Game]]) she took the stance that sci-fi is OK in itself, but isn't nearly as good as other genres. Really pisses me off. * This troper once got into an extended forum debate over whether the Korean film ''Film/TheHost'' was a monster movie. All efforts to point out that the plot revolves around a ''giant monster'' were in vain. * Just the other day {{Kaywinnet}}'s grandmother and her friend were discussing how they couldn't stand sci-fi and fantasy. Although it's probably not snobbery - they don't seem open to the concept that fiction can be art and not just entertainment, because they also discussed how all fiction should be bright and cheerful, since there's enough sadness in the world. Honestly, from their discussion, it seems likely that they simply have limited imaginations and were unable to comprehend anything that isn't set in the "real world." * This troper has had several averted this trope on several situations . Create a culture that doesn't exist, no martians: Space explorer marooned on an alien planet, encounters nomadic, wolf riding, mammoth hunting giants (who were the evolutionary result of an abandoned human terraform experiment). Write a plausible, modern story, no magic: Man goes insane after gaining telepathy and telekinesis (Which are a result of an abnormally powerful subconscious telepathy organ which the man discovered). Write a story with a virtuous moral, no magic: Agnostic who lives in a theocracy gets executed, beats Death at a game of cards using the virtue of patience (They spent the equivalent of 20,000 years playing one game). Every time the teachers loved them and each time this troper sniggered that he wormed his way around the restrictions. * [[@/HersheleOstropoler This troper]] isn't about to deny that the story about werewolves and the story about genies are fantasy, but doesn't want to develop renown as a "fantasy author"--because none of his other in-progress ideas qualify as speculative fiction, and he doesn't want to disappoint people. * My high school english teacher brought in an episode of ''{{Firefly}}'' to help analyze storytelling devices. At that point I liked sci-fi but hadn't really come cross it. Now I really wish there was more. * I'm envious of all of you who actually got to do anything other than depressing, angsty pieces of "realist" fiction in your literature classes. I've loved Speculative Fiction (used because I like not having to divide fantasy and sci-fi) as long as I've been reading, and the closest I came to getting to study any of it was the one paper I got to do on a book of my choice (as a senior) and wrote it on Douglas Adams. I'm still annoyed that they wouldn't let us study anything that I found either particularly interesting or even fun to read. * This troper finds the kerfluffle about Atwood somewhat disheartening, considering what a vicious, hate-filled screed TheHandmaidsTale ''is''. But, apparently, nobody minds. [[{{Demonization}} Paint Evangelicals as misogynist closet rapists just itching for a chance to enslave women as breeding stock?]] Yawn. But deny that the book is science fiction? [[DoubleStandard How DARE she?!]] ** CompletelyMissingThePoint * This teenaged troper was recently delighted to discover that the

other half of his first serious relationship is as into books as he is. She was probably pleased to meet a guy who reads as well... until I admitted that some of my favourite books were sci-fi. This is not assisted by my fanatical reverence of ''Firefly'' and my repeated insistence that ''Aliens'' is the best action movie ever made. She doesn't realise the hypocrisy when I point out how much she enjoyed Stephenie Meyer's ''The Host''. Hm. * This troper had a high school teacher who was very proud of having been an extra in CloseEncountersOfTheThirdKind, but couldn't get out of the "actually entertaining stuff sucks" part of the Ghetto. He said Encounters got overshadowed by StarWars, which came out the same year, and, quote, "[[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible Star Wars had a plot a fiveyear-old could follow.]]" To which this troper replied, "So did the Iliad." ** Same troper had another one, an English teacher, who let me do a literary analysis of ''Pride of Chanur'' by C. J. Cherry, but apparently got held up reading it because of the names (Pyanfar, Khym, Akukkakkwhich last is hard, I'll give you). To which this troper asked, "Do you have trouble reading things with characters named Meleager or Agamemnon? You so often meet people named that, right?" (Yes, Homer is my go-to for countering this) Then again, she also insisted we couldn't say quotes, but had to say "quotations". This troper ''wanted'', but through saintly effort ''forbore'', to say, "Do you also make people say 'taximeter cab' and 'omnibus station'!?" * This Troper was surprised when he encountered this attitude from his older sister (who I look up to, and who is other wise very level headed and sensible). My sister was talking about a philosophy book she had just read (can't remember the title) and was gushing about the ideas it held about how life is ultimately meaningless and how humanity could never comprehend the true nature of things. I suggested that she should look at the works of H. P. Lovecraft, sense most of his story's are all about that stuff, and commented that I found his story's vary entertaining. She then rolled her eye's and told me that the sci fi I read wasn't "literature," that it's "only enjoyed by pre pubescent boys," and that I "should have grown out of that stuff years ago." To compare her "classics" to the junk I read was simply unthinkable. Then again I got the last laugh sense a year later she got hooked on Twilight, which I have yet to stop teasing her about. ** "''Gushing''" that life is meaningless? That's...[[NightmareFetishist a little unsettling]], actually. ** Kudos to your sister for informing me that I am in actuality a prepubescent boy, when all this time I thought I was in my midtwenties...and a girl. * [[{{Popette}} This troper]] wrote a tale about a man getting caught up in a futuristic art scene where displaying mutilated corpses was in vogue and edgy, so long as the artist didn't kill them. Of course, everyone did, so the cops were trying madly to hunt down the artist/murderers. It was quite sci-fi, with nifty gadgets and futureslang. However, her teacher insisted on calling it CyberPunk or SpeculativeFiction, even after told it was ScienceFiction. ** It ''sounds'' squarely within cyberpunk, actually, but cyberpunk ''is'' sci-fi. It just gets grandfathered into "serious literature" on

the grounds that it's often "artistic" (by which is meant, "it involves dystopias"). This troper personally prefers to go the other way''no'' dystopia is ''less'' scifi than cyberpunk, even if [[WilliamGibson the sky's color in no way resembles that of television tuned to a dead channel and there's not a street samurai or cyborg dolphin in sight]]. * [[Tropers.TwosComplement This Troper]] had an argument with his friend about whether a ZombieApocalypse was either Sci-Fi or Fantasy. I argued the former. * ThisTroper is considering becoming an English teacher specifically so I can avert this. My tastes are quite varied but mostly fiction. The sad part is I suspect I would be forced to stick to a rigid curriculum. * I faced this some in high school, most notably senior year, where I had an extremely set-in-her-views English teacher. One conversation went something like this: -->'''Me:''' So, how about Lord of the Rings? Is that literature?\\ '''Her:''' No, that's an epic. Another went something like this: -->'''Me:''' Ooh, 1984. That's literature, right?\\ '''Her:''' Indeed. One of the best twentieth century works.\\ '''Me:''' Okay, good. But it's science fiction too, pretty clearly.\\ '''Her:''' No, it's not. It's literature.\\ '''Me:''' No, but it's explicitly set in the future, and has lots of pieces of technology that didn't actually exist at the time. That's science fiction!\\ '''Her:''' It's not science fiction because George Orwell was a great writer. ** On the bright side, with a different teacher, I referred to this very site on our final exam, and specifically the PlanetOfHats trope by name, and was one of just a handful of people to get an A. * Inverted by this troper's high school English teacher. Senior year (AP), she assigned T.H. White's ''The Once and Future King'' as summer reading. Sophomore year, during the study of epics, she required the class to read ''LordOfTheRings'', '''and''' watch the movies, '''and''' watch ''StarWars'' (IV, V, and VI). It was amazing. * Subverted by either this troper's high school or this troper's high school English teachers so far (this troper doesn't know which assigns the book for the Novel Study unit). For 9th grade our English teacher assigned us "The Door into Summer" by Heinlein, which got a bit squicky when the man fell in love with his twelve year-old niece but helped to define my definition of time travel for the foreseeable future. Then for the 10th grade we got "The Chrysalids" by John Wyndham which (although it was pretty short) explored the themes of racism, evolution and how religion would change when faced with the apparent apocalypse. Needless to say, this troper hopes the 11th year of English will assign just as a good a book as the other two. * While this troper was away from home, my uncle spent the night in my house, and when we have guests they usually sleep in my bed because it's the nicest bed in the house besides the one that belongs to my parents. The next day, my uncle saw me, and told me a story about how he couldn't get to sleep, and was sitting in my bed looking for

something to do, and what happens to be sitting on my dresser is a book. [[LilithsBrood This book]], in fact. My uncle, a politically conservative Vietnam vet and a country boy from Mississipi, not really a reader nor a fan of scifi, although not a stupid man by any means, picked up this book and started reading from a random point in the middle. He told me he could not put the book down. His words were that it was so well-written and interesting that it held his attention completely, despite the fact that it was about "aliens that can see through the pores of their skin" and it completely changed his view of science fiction. Needless to say, this was not the response I was expecting, but a pleasant surprise. I love that man. * This troper brought up her liking of Douglas Adams and ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' novels in a conversation. Since none of the listeners had heard of either of them, I gave a brief description of the series ('it's basically science fiction satire, funny stuff, pretty popular too'), which brought on smirks and funny looks from everyone. Their reasoning behind this being that, not only is this a work of dreaded science fiction, it's '''humour based''', because god forbid a novel of any merit whatsoever be funny. I received a similar response regarding ''Discworld'' as well (at least they had heard of Terry Prachett). This lead to them explaining to me that they don't bother with either science fiction or fantasy because they are unrealistic and stupid. This is, while narrow-minded, an understandable reason under normal circumstances. However my entire group of friends are also proud and vocal ''Harry Potter'' fans. After bringing up this contradiction in their reasoning, they explain that ''Harry Potter'' is the only fantasy series with any literary merit because 'it doesn't follow fantasy stereotypes and actually deals with mature themes unlike most fantasy'. Just, where do I even start? * A rather bizarre variant. This Troper had a college assignment to pick a "control system" and analyze it's function (potential failure modes, probability of failure etc.). He wrote it on the shooting mechanics in Warhammer 40000. * This troper is in third year of a university writing course. He was banned from submitting fantasy works at the end of second year, because they were 'always subject to cliche.' This year he has the same tutor, with the same ban on fantasy. Submitting a Science-Fiction novel he had it torn to shreds again, denounced as cliche. We submit in 500 word extracts. Apparently my tutor was able to tell from a 500 word extract featuring two characters talking with very little mention or description of the setting that my 100,000 word novel was going to be cliched. * JackMackerel: I've never been subject to this, honestly. Most people who reject SciFi are specifically poetry magazines or something genrespecific in my experience, and a lot of writing courses around here aren't very snobby. * I refused to take Creative Writing courses if the listing said "No Fantasy or Science Fiction Allowed." When I finally did take one, with a professor who did not say this, I mentioned this, explaining that such a restriction was a good indicator that the instructor was a pretentious snob. She agreed, and so does the professor I'm taking Fiction Writing from next semester. This one doesn't care for it

herself, but doesn't think it's a lesser genre; it's just one she isn't into. * [[Tropers/TromboneChild I]] once started telling my younger cousin a little about ''Series/DoctorWho'', mostly because he'd just made a banana joke. My mother then told me to stop because "it's science fiction" and he wouldn't get it. I told her that he loves ''StarWars'', and she said, "But ''StarWars'' isn't science fiction, is it?" No, Mom, it isn't, if you ignore all the spaceships and aliens that pervade the series. I think she assumed it was too "mainstream" to be sci-fi. * This Troper once took a creative writing course which experienced a major split between the population in the under 50 age bracket, one half could best be described as writing like Stephanie Meyer after surgical application of a chair to the cranium, who spent most of the time looking to become housewives and bullying the others for a lack of maturity, the other half had a non-stop LOTR/Star Wars/Star Ship Troopers/Star Trek marathon to celebrate the mid-term holiday, punctuated by a fistfight over Heinlein and Asimov. The worst part, is that I mean the lecturers and students were split into these two groups, little is as awkward than seeing the people who mark your assignments trying to throttle each other over the issue of who portrayed advanced human societies more believably. * This troper had the misfortune to be specifically forbidden from doing anything sci-fi for his GCSE coursework. did that stop me? heck no! the first piece I had to hand in was a short story (although we were told to write it as though it were the first chapter of a novel). My entry? 'stealth' sci-fi, as it didn't appear to be sci-fi at all until plot twists showed up. It was my highest grade in the course (a pretty high A). looking back, it wasn't that great (I've had, and am working on, much better ideas). (for the record: my favourite was something described as 'an essay on a controversial topic'. most people chose bans on fox hunting, etc. I chose to write about freedom of speech. specifically, AGAINST it, with references to 1984 and the protomen. in fact, my entire bibliography for it consisted of sci-fi books and films, plus both protomen albums). * Heroically averted by my local library, which stocks all of the fiction together, regardless of genre. * [[{{Tropers/Pittsburghmuggle}} This troper]] was recently excited to find a few ArthurCClarke books for sale at his library. Then I noticed that they were books I had checked out before - ''2061'', ''3001'', ''ChildhoodsEnd'', all from the rather pitiful SciFi collection my library has. I asked about this as I bought the books - they said it based what books were sold according to how often they were checked out. Ouch. * This troper found a rather interesting teacher - he admitted he disliked the fantasy and science-fiction genres, but said that there was nothing wrong with writing them. In fact, he said that "Even if Tolkien isn't a good writer of a plot; he's still good at establishing a world - that's what I notice some people love about Science Fiction and Fantasy; to see a lot of detail placed into the world itself." * This troper, Edgy, once wrote a 30 plus page revenge piece featuring superheroes with powers ranging from rage makes you

stronger, acid blood, healing factor, making weapons of blood, and hypnotism. The class professor didn't even read it and his selfappointed TA couldn't get passed page two. This is a FICTION writing class. The damn professor could only get his lame ass mystery series and Sherlock Holmes fanfiction published so I guess sci-fi is too low brow for him. * I (that is to say, the 3rdpoliceman) have an english teacher who doesn't consider sci-fi to be 'proper literature' (We all had to read a novel in class. I was surprised the others could read). The way she said it implied she thought SF and fantasy to be the same thing (They are not! They are both completely different! Science Fiction has SCIENCE! The clue's in the name! Fantasy can be anything you imagine! Huge difference!)and she just said it so dismissively. What's really annoying is that she knew someone was reading 1984 or Brave New World or something and didn't even realise how ludicrous that made her sound. I've read loads of bizarre and surreal works of fantasy (and a few sci-fi) and I'd say most of them are deeper than Pride and Prejudice- her idea of a great novel. ** Although this teacher does sound pretty clueless, scifi and fantasy are often ''not'' "completely different"... a fair amount of SF & F works have similar thematic elements. Not to mention, some fantasy takes a ''far'' more rigorous approach to its magic than some scifi does to its technology. * This Troper has an interesting aversion to this: In an English class, he was told to examine archetypes in a work of fiction of his choice. He managed to get Portal approved as his work of ficition, and wrote an essay on GLaDOS. Can you say that you've written 'The Cake is a Lie' in a serious paper? This Troper can! :D * Averted by This Troper's Junior year American Literature teacher. At the end of the year everyone had to do a research paper and a presentation on an American author, as part of this, he handed out a HUGE list of authors to everyone in the class (it went upwards of 900). When verbally called out a bunch of the more popular names on the list, he included Isaac Asimov. When I said i wanted to do Heinlein, he ''immediately'' recognized the name. Then after that hour i suggested that he include Orson Scott Card, Terry Brooks, and Jim Butcher on the list. His immediate response was to tell me that Card was already on it, and then said he'd put Brooks and Butcher on the list next year. He even said i could use Jim Butcher then if i wanted, but i stayed with Heinlein. * Annoyingly, a certain local bookstore, while having a regular YA section, also had a section for adult speculative fiction, but the section was labelled simply as "Young Adult" anyway, as if no adults would ever be interested in fantasy/science fiction, even though there were plenty of novels with obviously mature themes in there. ---Go back to [[SciFiGhetto your pitiful little corner of the bookstore]], [[ThisIsASentenceBitch bee-yatch]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SciFiWritersHaveNoSenseOfScale * While [[{{Nomic}} this troper's]] stories don't even try to appear realistic (he rather enjoys writing pulp-style sci-fi), he tries to avoid this trope (except for the cases where rules of cool take precedence over common sense). For example, he'd never have a planetbusting weapon literally blow a planet into chunks of space rocks, as the amount of energy required would be absurd. Just punching a hole in the crust would create enough flashy destruction and render the planet uninhabitable. Of course the planet-busting in the above case was done by a capital ship over a thousand miles in length, so maybe he should just be quiet (the story did acknowledge that a ship that large might not be very practical, tho). ** Actually, if your story's warp engines (presuming you have warp engines) are rare and/or your warp fields hard to establish, having a huge starship would be economically better than a fleet of smaller ones. There's no gravity or friction in space, so there is no construction difficulty with large ships, or any need to have them be aerodynamically designed. A setting where FTL is difficult (or where HyperspaceIsAScaryPlace) will tend to have far larger ships, just like the [[{{Titanic}} cruisers]] which traveled from Europe to America and back in the early 20th century were much larger than the airplanes of today. The only existing interstellar spaceship design which could work without violating physics as we know it ''has to be'' over 100 kilometers in diameter at the front to scoop up interstellar hydrogen for fuel. (Of course you need the metal deposits of at least one entire planet to build a ship 1000 miles long, but strip mining is why you're an evil intergalactic empire). * This troper recently started a campaign in which the fact that reinforcements from a nearby star system won't arrive for two weeks is a major plot point. Naturally, the players who decided to come from planets several times further away all arrived in half the time. They see nothing wrong with this. ** If it only took a short while according to the players' frame of reference, then that's just special relativity at work. If it wasn't, [[HandWave blame]] FTLRadio for warning them ahead of time. * While in middle school and high school, this troper took part in an "Outer Space Combat" RPG (which we simply called "The Game") involving Star Wars/Star Trek ships, plus anything else we could think of. After a little while, we were allowed to make up our own stuff. Examples include: ** One of this troper's many creations was a spaceship that was big enough to be seen several lightyears away (later scrapped because it was too unwieldy to use effectively; if I'd known that Gurren Lagann would be airing close to a decade later, I would've stuck with it). ** My friend took Final Fantasy VII's Sister Ray and effectively transformed it into the mother of all Wave Motion Guns, allowing it to wipe out several galaxies' worth of ships and giving it a power level of several million... and until we finally stopped the RPG when we graduated, ''the power level never stopped growing,'' hitting a billion by that point. ** Operating under the assumption that the Star Trek warp engines were

faster than the Star Wars hyperdrive. These are only a few examples; needless to say, we spent a lot of time trying to one-up each other and going BeyondTheImpossible, with a few other participants/commentators hanging on for the ride. *** FYI They are most certainly not. In ST: Voyager they said it would take 70 years at ''best speed'' (which they can't even do all the time) to get back to the Alpha Quadrant whereas the Star Wars hyperdrive can traverse a comparably sized galaxy in only a few days. http://www.stardestroyer.net/Empire/Tech/ *** Like I just got through saying, we were operating under the ''assumption'' that they were. It wasn't until a year or so after we started that I found out that the reverse was true, but by the time I got around to telling my friends about this, we decided to just leave things the way they were; under limitations like those, it simply wouldn't have been fun for us anymore. And yes, that was the site where I found out those details. About ten or eleven years late, but thanks anyway. **** Given how inconsistent both series are on speeds (Han says the Millennium Falcon goes at 1.5 c, and Trek is all over the place), they're [[http://st-v-sw.net/STSWcompare.html#FTL roughly equal]] ***** Han actually says the Falcon can do "Point five past lightspeed" while we assume this means 1.5c, it must be vastly faster, given that the Falcon can cross between several systems in one film. ***** This troper has always assumed that either the Star Wars galaxy is incredibly tiny (possibly with the Force counteracting gravity to prevent it all from collapsing in on itself) or light just moves a hell of a lot faster in the Star Wars reality. ** I lost The Game because of whoever posted this. * This tropers story, DominionAndDuchy involves a ClockPunk SpaceOpera that involves artificial planets, a starship the size of the Soviet Union, a parasite that feeds off the Universe itself and five planets in the same solar system literally connected by '''''TheWorldTree'''''. * This troper is currently writing a sci-fi story that totally avoids this trope. Although to enable the story to take place across a number of solar systems there is a jump drive (although by sci-fi standards it's slow, with times between systems measured in weeks, not to mention expensive, and dangerous if not used with extream care) all other movement follows Newtonian physics and realistic scales. The same applies to communication. Whilst there is a tachyon based FTL communication system, it requires a lot of energy to transmit and is very low bandwidth, so can be used for short text messages only (it's also not at all reliable). All other communications, and all sensors, are limited to the speed of light. * This troper was writing a Marvel fan-fic where she suggested that her character might take a suborbital tourist flight at some time in a future arc. She was immediately besieged by suggestions that that character hang out with the Silver Surfer, battle interstellar empires, ect. Seriously, people, SUBORBITAL! * Lucky Bunny Bounty Show is going to suffer from this, I just know it. Oh well, it's not like I can take it seriously when I already knew that it was absurd that the main character's ship can make a journey

in a week that all the other people in the 'verse need a month to make. Chaos Drive is wonderful, if hard to make work. * This troper, writing a sci-fi story, really wanted to avert this trope. FTL was handled as SubspaceOrHyperspace with a constant speed limit relative to the real universe, but still existed, and absurd energy requirements got at least a subtle HandWave. The end result was more along the lines of MagicAIsMagicA than having a sense of scale. Word to the wise: when writing a SpaceOpera, this is probably one of those AcceptableBreaksFromReality. * This troper attempts to avoid this with everything except FTL, which he doesn't use often. Of course, the majority of his characters top 3 meters. (It helps to be your own 10 foot pole) * This Troper is working on a story where a major plot point is that life on Earth evolves on a much more rapid pace than other lifeforms in the known universe. That isn't to say it's quicker than normal evolution, but that every other species is slower at it. Still this means the old races are have a higher life expectancy: Generally, a 20 something alien could conceivably have had grandparents who remember an Earth with Dinosaurs. * This troper has a setting and puts a disclaimer that it really isn't meant to be taken realistic in terms of scale. Partly because '''a)''' The Chthonian planet in the system is only a little closer to the sun than Mercury is to ours, but not as close as COROT-7b, which is even ''closer'' still. '''b)''' The two goldilocks planets are in a larger habitable zone, '''c)''' The Jovian planet is described as being puffy, but it's only because of the internal heating, and '''d)''' The Super-earth isn't as large as other super-earths, but the gravity would be a tad heavier if you landed on it. * Go on ''any'' written erotica forum. You'll find BiggusDickus taken BeyondTheImpossible. * I've got me an idea in my head that generally averts this: inuniverse, interstellar travel is possible, but still can not break the scale. As such, humanity has moved across many worlds in many systems, but are so incredibly cut-off from the others that it can get pretty ridiculous. Communications from other known colonial worlds have been known to be wildly random. Sometimes info on a strong new Empire that has rested control will come at one time, and at another time it's suddenly gone and just a historical foot note. It didn't take long before people started inventing new languages, meaning some of the contact is just in unintelligible garbling. There's also a massive technology gap, regardless of the universe's all ready high level. fFor example, the main character is an advanced cyborg from one cluster who travels to another. As it turns out, in that local space he is such a technological marvel that many local scientists assume that he just ''can not exist'' by their local laws of the universe. Attempts to keep things orderly even in their solar system require several outposts on any given planet's general orbit (as well as a few averaged orbits between planets) constantly broadcasting information between each other. Even then, the lag is still quite noticeable. Still, all these problems aren't really risen to CrapSackWorld, as it just doesn't matter to your average ApatheticCitizens. This also leads to sects of SpaceAmish who decided it wasn't worth the effort.

---Move your cursor the trillions of pixels to [[Main/SciFiWritersHaveNoSenseOfScale this link!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

Scotireland * This troper has a form tutor who is Irish, but speaks with a Scottish accent. * This troper, who did Drama at A-Level, remembers that, for the group's final piece, one of the other students, a Scot who had moved to England quite young and as a result had a slightly softened accent, put on a deliberately bad Oirish accent for one of the many characters he played. When I spoke to some audience members afterwards, one said 'That Irish guy did a really good Scottish accent!' * This (English) troper's maths class couldn't agree on whether our teacher's accent was Scottish or Irish. Turned out she was Scottish but raised in Northern Ireland (or vice versa)... * This Scots troper physically winced when somebody said that the folks in [[CaptainPlanet "If It's Doomsday It Must be Belfast"]] sounded Scottish. They sound like [[SoBadItsGood the worst attempt at a generic Irish accent you ever heard]]. ** You haven't heard enough real life people try it ([[HypocriticalHumor Yes, including me]]). *** To this troper who is Irish the Protestant gang sond German in fact. Combine that with the blonde hair and "It's as good a reason as any" and the implications are unfortunate. * After the twenty-fifth/twenty-sixth person mistook me for Scottish, this Northern Irish editor kind of stopped counting. ** I lie... oh, and it's up to 51 now. * [[@/DarkInsanity13 This troper]] personally can never remember if she has backgrounds in Scotland or Ireland...so she cheats and says both. Actually, confirmed recently; she does have both. ** This troper also falls into both, with the Scottish being the majority holder. I also have a tendency to slip into a mild Scottish accent when I'm severely PO'ed. *** This troper when she's pissed. * This (Scottish) troper still gets Caithness (Scotland) and Belfast (N. Ireland) accents mixed up. * This troper, who has a Scottish father, wound up sounding Irish while trying to sound Scottish. In my defense, Dad's accent has been all but obliterated by decades of life in America. * This troper's roommate's boyfriend actually ''is'' Scotirish (dad's Scottish, mum's Irish), but identifies as Scottish (wearing a Scotland shirt also helps). * This troper's attempts at a scottish accent sound like an irish accent. Even then it verges on being an Oirish accent. Unless I try to do a strong scottish accent it sounds like I'm trying to do an impression of Sean Connery or I'm being offensive to the scots. * This troper seems to play this one straight as well as subvert it. I

can easily tell the difference between Scottish and Irish cultures and accents. I do amateur voice acting though, and I have a terrible Scotirish accent. * [[@/{{Smerf}} This troper]] is, among other things, both Irish and Scottish in ancestry. Guinness and bagpipes, anyone? * When [[@/{{fidheallir}} this troper]] speaks in her natural (Western Scottish) accent, she is often mistaken for being Irish. ** She has used this to her advantage on St. Patrick's Day by getting tips for her authentic "Irish" singing. * This troper is Canadian. His Paternal Grandfather is a Scot from Nova Scotia. His Mother's family were some of the original Irish settlers of the area she grew up. Needless to say, I do not normally notice any accent on my part, but I have had others point it out to me when I am peeved, or tired. Also, I am engaged to a strongly English woman, so this is going to make for a very interesting family.. * This Ulster Irish troper often gets asked "Are you Scottish or Irish?" when outside of Ireland. Granted, Eastern Ulster and Scottish accents sound quite similar. ** Hnnngh, I get this too. Really annoying. * This Scottish troper has a very weak Scottish accent due to having a father with a strong London accent, and spoke with a mysterious south London accent throughout his childhood. (despite growing up in the west of Scotland!) He later developed a recognisable Scottish accent during his teenage years, but occasionally (and mysteriously) his accent changes inadvertently into a strong southern Irish accent! Hence the Scotireland trope. His accent still gets mistaken for Irish or English today, including by people who live in Ireland and England! * @/{{Wretchkin}} was born in Scotland, but my maternal grandfather was in Irish immigrant, my ''paternal'' great grandfather was an Irish immigrant, his son/my paternal grandfather has Scottish/Irish Multiple Citizenship, and soon I will have the same, making me literally Scotirish. * This troper's just starting to be able to tell the difference between the accents and getting better at Scottish. Blame it on my friend from Glasgow. * Spoofed in [[@/DarthCliche this troper]]'s sci-fi RPG campaign: when a Scottish PC spoke to an NPC (of indeterminate nationality), the NPC said "I can't tell from your accent; are you from Scotland, Ireland, or Ganymede?" * Having parents from both both Scotland AND Ireland, this troper has one of the most unintelligible voices in the known universe. * Oddly reversed in this troper. Despite being born and bred in Ireland, living on both the west and east coasts, I have never once been asked if I was Irish or Scottish (though I do a good accent for both). For me, it is always "Where in America are you from?" or "When did you move here from Washington?" I've never even been to the US. * My (Irish) grandparents are still amazed people in America mix the two accents up so often. * This troper has about half her family heritage from Those Islands. A few decades after coming to America, the family had a surge of pride and began to make an enormous show out of how they were so proud to be Scots, and abhorred the Irish. Then someone traced back the lineage.

We're Irish. * I was born in England but my parents are both Scottish and, upon meeting my father, one friend exclaimed 'You never told me you were Irish!' Then again, I do find myself 'translating' for them when someone with even the faintest Scottish accent comes on TV so I can't say I'm surprised. I wish they could be at our Family reunions where you'll hear Welsh, Irish and Scottish accents, with the only English accent being mine and my brothers fairly muted one. Ah, the potential confusion. * I'm Scotirish (Mum's Scottish and my stereotypical Irish father is.. well, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment duh]]), I was born in England, I live in Scotland and other Scots frequently ask me "How long are you over for?" because I sound Irish. Or occasionally Canadian, apparently. * This troper has mistaken a Scottish Boy Scout in his troop as Irish, but was quickly corrected and...well...[[ShaggyDogStory that was the end of it, really]] * this troper is American, but thanks to a family history obsessed mother, she's traced her roots pretty far back, and knows a ton about her Scottish heritage. so, come her school's 'dress up in the traditional costume of your family heritage' day, she dressed up, wearing what she wears to the Scottish Highland games in her area- her Clan's tartan, crest pin, various other ornaments from Scotland, etcetera. she enters a contest, and wins... only they said, " the winner is (name) , for her traditional British garb." stupid Americans. ** Considering that Scotland is indeed part of Great Britain, along with England and Wales, this isn't necessarily incorrect. 'British' is a pretty vague appellation. ---Back to {{Main/Scotireland}}, boyo. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScrabbleBabble * Ever since this troper played "kaf" (the 13th letter of the Hebrew alphabet, ''which is in the dictionary'') for 40-some points in a game of ''[=UpWords=]'', he's looked up every single play he could possibly make that would be worth many points. ** Isn't that against the rules? *** Maybe, but that might not matter. [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney How rich is the OP?]] ** No law against reading the dictionary. *** Non english words, even those in the dictionary, are technically not allowed under most rules. *** If it's in an English language dictionary, it is, by definition, an English word. *** So an unchanged foreign word, in spelling, pronunciation, and meaning, and put into the english dictionary simply because it has entered the common knowledge (at some point) is an English word?

Search Meriam-Webster for the very French phrase "je ne sais quoi." It's there. And I've never met anyone who considers it English. *** I believe that officially, if a foreign word or phrase can be used in colloquial English without a translation (coup, amigo, etc.), it's considered English. I have no idea what "je ne sais quoi" means, but if most English speakers do, it's English. *** This troper and her mother often play casual two-player games in which the Official Scrabble Player's Dictionary can be ''consulted'' for a word to play if you're really stuck... which only hones our skills for playing against others. * This troper was shocked when her usually dim witted brother played the word "epoxy" in a game of Scrabble. * This troper saw a skit in which a seemingly impossible distribution of letters was justified, as a prankster had switched the tiles for those from a Polish Scrabble set. This was discovered as soon as the players drew their initial seven letters: "Hang on, I've got three Zs! And what the hell's this thing?" * This troper once cleaned up in a game of Scrabble with "Fez" on a triple word score. The other campers, they were not happy. ** ...since when is [[NiceHat fez]] not a word? * I once played "nkru" ("a West African welcoming ceremony", plural "nkrua"), "xaab" ("a Mayan musical instrument"), "yipse" ("an archaic term for a stomach ailment"), "eowa" ("an exclamation of surprise"), "fidge" ("an exclamation of contempt"), "fidgeing" (analogous formation to "tut-tutting"), and several "[[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe variant spellings]]". My opponent tried to play "roarz" but I told her "no variant spellings that look like they were [[XtremeKoolLetterz made up by advertisers in an attempt to appeal to disaffected youth.]]" * I can't possibly be the only one who oftens ends up putting down random words and be surprised when they actually show up. My family has feared challenging others when putting down some strange scramble of letters because of this. ** No, I do that too...and I accidentally ended up using "shit" in Boggle once. It was a long time ago. * This troper and his friends play Wikiscrabble (any play that at least half of the players approve of/find hilarious is valid, regardless of [[PerfectlyCromulentWord cromulence]]) with 9 tiles instead of 7, leading to such gems as "whorelves". Quoth the player: "I want to play 'elves', but I don't want to kill my whores!" [[LordOfTheRings Orlando Bloom]] was referenced. * This Troper once played "plant." Her brother said it wasn't a word. ** I did that with "lit" once...the "saying it's not a word" part. I felt like an idiot. * [[{{Magus}} This troper]] spelled the word "tid", meaning a girl or young woman, in a game of Scrabble once. It aided in making a solid 3x3 square of letters. That's right, 3x3. He's also used the word "wem", meaning a stain, spot, or scar, repeatedly. Yeah, you can have those two for free. * This troper's grandfather is famous for this; in one noteworthy moment, when the word WINDOW was on the board, he proceeded to add ED to it, making WINDOWED, justifying it as "the verb for when they put

the glass into your frame." Grandma grudgingly accepted that, only for him to, next turn, add to it again, leaving REWINDOWED, "What they do when you break the first set." This is the last recorded family Scrabble game on my mother's side. ** Funnily enough, I've actually heard the term "rewindow" (as well as "dewindow") used in relation to computers (to dewindow is to minimize a window, to rewindow is to maximize it again). It's not likely to be in any dictionaries at this point, but your grandfather might still have stumbled upon a future cromulent word without knowing it. ** This reminds me of the famous game in my family when we ended up with a 15 letter word in a game. (Please note that Scrabble is played on a 15x15 grid...that's right we had a word that reached both ends of the board.) It started with tab, then stab, then establish, then reestablish, then reestablishment. Scrabble [[{{CrowningMomentOfAwesome}} Crowning Moment Of Awesome]]. *** Once playing with my family, we got Camelopardesque all down one side of the board. And I had the 'esque'. It was [[{{CrowningMomentOfAwesome}} awesome]]. * This troper, being an avid SherlockHolmes fan, once hijacked the H in an opponent's word in order to use all her own tiles to spell BROUGHAM for 95 points. (It's a kind of carriage.) * My family takes Scrabble [[SeriousBusiness very seriously]]. In one game, my sister played MORPH on the first turn. My little brother was up next and decided to be dumb about it like he usually does and played MORPHO. Naturally, my sister challenged it and looked it up in the dictionary. [[PerfectlyCromulentWord Turns out]] that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morpho morpho]] is actually a genus of butterfly. To this day we use "morpho" as a [[NWordPrivileges mock epithet]]. ** N-word priviledges? Does that mean you're butterflies? * This troper once held onto his letters for turn after turn until he completed and played "[[http://teksoqp.ytmnd.com TEKSOQP]]". * My Grandfather and I discovered there was [[AintNoRule nothing in the rulebook]] which said scrabble tiles had to be played letter up, so we use "blank" tiles to fill out words all the time! * When this troper was training for a Scrabble competition, the instructor advised us to put down words that at least ''seem'' to be real, and even gave us words to add to the illusion. Example: lipless. It's a real word, and after the opponent finds out it's real, they won't dare to call you out on eyeless or earless (which aren't real), on the off-chance that they are, too. He also told us to use swearwords, because even if the judges wouldn't allow it (it's a school competition, after all), the opponents would know it's a real word so they wouldn't dare to call it out either. * This troper attempts to play Japanese words so often while playing Scrabble that people have stopped challenging her. Naturally, this gives a lot of room for her to just make stuff up. * The words "qi", "xi", "xu" and "zo" are ''guaranteed'' to piss people off. (Chinese energy, subatomic particle named after Greek letter, Vietnamese coin and Himalayan yak respectively.) Particularly if they've just unloaded most of their rack to get 21 points, and then you get 62 for placing two letters.

* This Troper's mother always handicapped me when I played against my younger brother. I've been blessed with a pretty broad vocabulary, so I can usually kill at this game. But she would insist his nonsensical words be allowed. Sundeck? I can accept that. SunDOCK? Not so much... * In one game that occurred when we were on vacation and thus without a dictionary, my dad accused me of making up "hale," "taiga," and "fenny" (although that one I did misspell, but we weren't playing for points, so it barely mattered), and wouldn't believe my definitions, despite knowing I have a large vocabulary and never cheat. I left the game in a huff after finishing off my tiles. My sister had meanwhile gotten stuck with nothing but a "V," two "O"s, and an "X." When she came up to the cabin, she told me she'd played XVOO. We agreed it was a country, then discussed what it's people would be called while getting ready for bed (for the record, "xvoonian"). * I once convinced my mother that 'hualo' was a kind of wind, in the vein of sirocco and harmattan. * Re-roaringsella. That is all. * This troper once won a game of Quiddler with the word "Kea". It's a type of parrot that lives in New Zealand. * I did this once in boggle with "ainu". It's the elvish word for "holy one", but you're not supposed to use foreign languages (side note: if elvish isn't actually spoken anywhere, aside from the occasional convention, does it really count as a "foreign" language?). However, I looked it up anyway...and lo and behold, it's in the dictionary! (Name of a language.) ** And an ethnic group in Japan. The first ethnic group to point to if someone says racism is only white-toward-black, in fact. * A former friend of this troper once played "termiteor" in a game of Upwords (with the rationale that it was some kind of pest control robot), and we both had a good laugh about it. It was a silly in-joke between us for quite a while afterward. * This troper's uncle tried to play 'neo' on a triple word score. I insisted it wasn't really a word, and my uncle said that it counted, "what about neo-nazis?" and this troper said it was merely a prefix. My mother (not wanting me to win, as I was ahead at the time) said: "what about neo lights?". I replied my yelling "It's NEON lights!". -; He ended up playing the word anyway. Also, if you want to win a Scrabble, memorise all the allowed two-letter words. I've beaten my mother and uncle in every game we played since doing that. * Let's just say when your significant other is an English teacher and his brother a med student, you're at a stark disadvantage in Scrabble. * In Swedish, there are extremely few words with a Q in them, because we use KV instead of QU in Latin loanwords (I can straight away only remember four). So when you get the sole Q tile, it is hard to get rid of it, QUILT being the easiest way out. However, once I astonished my wife by writing QUISLING (= traitor) across some really nice bonus squares while clearing my set and also ending the game. * This troper got bored with playing my Scrabble iPod app, and just put in random arrangements of letters. [[RefugeInAudacity Most of them ended up getting accepted.]] * This troper was playing scabble, and had several letters that he thought would work together as a word. The word was "Japing", which

was a total asspull. I tried to explain it as [[SpongebobSquarepants "You know! Japan! Japing!]] [[MemeticMutation He japings! She japings! Everybody japings!"]] My friend only accepted "Ping"... Until the end of the class, when we looked it up on the internet to find out it was an actual word, meaning [[{{Irony}} "To Joke"]]. Japing is now a MemeticMutation at school. ** Which completely explains why the joke shop in Hogsmeade is called "Gambol and Japes", now that I think about it. * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] and his sister really annoyed our grandma when we played Scrabble with her one time, for the fact we where not using "American English" words (I really got in trouble for spelling "color" with a U, like they do in Europe, and my sister got in trouble for trying to use Toyota) * Not a Scrabble word, just a comment on the article. In the advertising section, it says: "And then called back in a later ad in which Shaq takes his opponents into the desert, and actually shows them a Shaqtus... a cactus with Shaq's face and number carved on it." That should have been in ''{{Barkley Shut Up And Jam Gaiden}}''. * At one point, while playing Hangman and getting to choose the word, this troper actually used the trope title. (It's a real word now. It's one of the aliases of the creator of the Melissa worm.) * This troper's sister played the word YING, unaware of the correct spelling of "yin" and "yang". When called out on it, she instead justified it as the onomatopoeic representation of AudibleSharpness. * [[{{Chamale}} This Troper]] played Scrabble with his sister, with no dictionary. Cue a very heated argument over "adze", which she refused to believe was a wood-cutting tool. Later in the game, he played "gooks" on a triple word-score, only for her to claim that [[NWordPrivileges racial slurs aren't allowed]]. * Impossible to do in this troper's household: his stepmother is an English teacher. The letters I get are often hilariously bad, which can result in misspellings being allowed on the fact that I cannot put anything else. The scabble bag works in mysterious ways... * This troper subverted this trope and once won a game of scrabble with the word Quixotic, basically everybody gave up by the time we finished calculating the score. * In sort of an inversion, [[Tropers/KatanaCat This Troper]] once played a PC Scrabble game and tried to put down "Aussie" only to find that it wasn't in the official dictionary. ** Proper noun! *** Can't be a proper noun if it's an adjective. You should have used the Macquarie. * This troper once played "za" and got challenged unsuccessfully. Next turn, I extended it to "zax" on a triple word score. * I played "dirty Scrabble" with a bunch of classmates on a really boring day of school. Made-up words were accepted as long as the majority of the players agreed that they sounded like real words and if the player could come up with a good definition. * Every member of my family utterly hates Scrabble, but we always end up playing it at least once during family gatherings. Tables have been flipped over contested words, I shit you not. On a funnier note, my older brother once challenged the word "Plant." And he's supposed to

be TheSmartGuy. ** Plant seems to be a popular word to accuse as not existing. * This troper likes using words from HarryPotter. These go largely unchallwenged within my family, but anywhere else, people are like "AVIS IS NOT A WORD!" Avis is, of course, a word: it is Latin for "bird", if I recall correctly. * One turn, I played, "cyning". Then I played "cyninga". The next, "cyningas". Why not? It's [[http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cyning English]]! * @/Cuchulainn: I once tried this with the word quim. We were playing during in-house suspension. I'd read it in a porno mag. The teacher didn't buy it, but at least she didn't know where I got it. * I was trying to help my aunt put down a word, and I came up with "Quile". I liked it so much that I invented a definition for it: To quietly contemplate. I try to use it as often as possible, as well as my other made up words of Bishloo, Awlodifferous, and Huxdux.

ScrappyMechanic * ThisTroper hates the builder in {{Lemmings}}. It's so hard to position the builder accurately. * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] really hates it when, in some [=RPG=]s, [[WeCannotGoOnWithoutYou it's an automatic game over if the party leader dies before everybody else]] (VideoGame/PaperMario and FinalFantasyXIII being notable examples). There's absolutely no reason why my party can't keep fighting should Mario or Lightning die. ** [[@/{{gunpsycho}} This troper]] avoids games that have this little mechanic. *** Given that Paper Mario only allows you to have Mario and one partner out at a time, it's not that bad. *** Also, Mario's partner didn't have a health meter in the first game. Most attacks went straight at Mario, and the few that hit your partner would stun them for a number of turns equal to the amount of damage done. There weren't usually any attacks like this that did greater than 3 damage, however. * This Troper hates the Tap-To-Click function with a burning passion. Recently, my laptop was rendered unable to disable Tap-To-FuckingClick. I very nearly threw away a $1.5k computer. Thankfully, Tap-ToGoddamn-Click has been eradicated from my computer. * Random battles. I will never play a game again with random battles. * Anyone else hate double battles in ''[[{{Pokemon}} Pokmon]]''? Maybe it's to do with the fact that the console variations of the games relentlessly push double battles, or maybe it's to do with the recent leak that there are going to be ''[[BeyondTheImpossible triple]]'' battles in ''Black'' and ''White''. I just think that Game Freak is overusing a mechanic that nearly every player I've spoken to dislikes, or at least disavows in favour of traditional, one-on-one single battles. ** It's a PlayerPreferredPattern in America. In Japan they're welcome. * I was playing Mario Party 2 with my sister for fun recently. Both of us had three or four stars, and the computer players had zero or one. One of the computers, Luigi I believe, hits Chance Time and forces me

to trade my star count with one of the computer opponents. It was within the last few turns as well. * ThisTroper absolutely ''hates'' grading on a curve. * [=RapidShare=]. Just...[=RapidShare=]. Because I totally [[SarcasmMode love]] that mandatory 15-minute wait between files, ''especially'' when I'm trying to download .rar files with at least 45 parts. * This troper hates the card system in KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories with a burning passion. To the point where he doesn't carry much faith in a handheld KH game until he's assured that there's no card system. ** This troper has yet to meet someone who would disagree with the above statement. * Star Balls in the SuperMarioGalaxy games. Slightly awkward control with the Wiimote that makes it too easy to fall off the stage. I especially learn to hate the levels with no save points. Luckily, most of them are not necessary to get farther in the game. ** Also, in the original, you were [[ButThouMust forced]] to go back to the ''intro screen'' when you died, instead of just going back to TheHub. Luckily, they fixed this in the sequel. * This Troper absolutely ''HATED'' the Kinstone system in Minish Cap, to the point where he considers the game itself, despite being a good game, to be a game that must be avoided. * I HATE the adoption system on the campaign mode in Zoo Tycoon 2! * This troper's laptop has one of those touch pads where you can zoom in or out by sliding both fingers opposite directions. The problem is, ''you can't turn the freaking thing off.'' The only time I've ever actually activated this ''on purpose'' was when trying to get things back to normal after activating it by accident. * The one thing that irritates [[Tropers/WaxingName me]] about the original SegaGenesis ''[[SonicTheHedgehog Sonic]]'' games is that when Sonic is ascending a hill without a running start, he just goes up at a frustratingly slow pace. I really hate having to backtrack and get a running start to get up a hill. * This troper couldn't for the life of him finish TheLegendOfZeldaSpiritTracks because of damned spirit flute mechanics, after trying for half an hour straight at the one before the sand temple, I gave up completely and watched the endgame online. ---Return to ScrappyMechanic, even if you hate clicking on links...

ScreamingBirth * My mother told me once that when she gave birth to me, while waiting for the full labor to start she could hear other women down the hall giving birth, and screaming profanity at the top of their lungs. As a first time mother she said it made her a little nervous. Also, that when she did go into labor the nurses kept complimenting her on how well she was doing because my mother was screaming using non-profane euphemisms, (GoshDangItToHeck). When I hear those stories, I am glad to be a man. * Subversion: this troper's mother remembered having been so ''bored'' at the hospital which she'd gone to very quickly during her first

pregnancy, that when she was having her second child, she only went there just right in time. The nurses were extremely surprised. In neither case were hours of labour, screaming expletives, unconsciousness, or pre-natal gyms involved. * While this troper isn't really sure of her own mother's reactions to giving birth (twice), she remembers her mother once mentioning there was an Italian woman in the next room (or somewhere down the hall) that very well seemed to fit the trope. Considering how she (this troper) never hears stories of how things went wrong or the like, she suspects her mother was a subversion. ** Apparently, her mother got sick from the epidural while having her (this troper), and so didn't bother with it when this troper's brother was born. Figures that her brother ends up being breech. Everyone her mother mentions this to looks at her like she's insane, as she's saying it as if it was no problem at all. * This troper's mother was perfectly fine at first, until her older sisters and friends told her that she was supposed to be screaming, pushing and such. So, she did... and the trope kinda kicked in to full effect, up to the point where this Troper had to be born via emergency C-section. * This troper's mother was fine while giving birth to said troper's younger brother until they gave her the epidural, which is supposed to numb the pain. My brother was too far down (and his head was too far back) so the epidural never kicked in. The doctor came in and said, "It should be working," to which my mother replied, "DOES IT LOOK LIKE IT'S WORKING???!!!!" And then my brother came down too hard, and the placenta ripped really hard and my mother hemmorhaged. My brother's head was ''too freaking big!!'' ** Similar thing happened to [[TheBadWolf This Troper]] epidural never kicked in. Except instead of said troper's younger brother it was ThisTroper and his twin brother who weighed 16 1/2 pounds between the 2 of us, and replace regular birth with c-section. The troper's mom refers to it as her civil war surgery. * According to the stories, the reason this troper's mother changed hospitals for her second child was that the first was born on a Sunday and in the tiny rural hospital concerned, there was no anesthesiologist that day. * [[{{Heatherly}} This troper]] did absolutely perfect at not screaming, crying or any such tropeable activities for the first five hours of her labor...then her water broke, and all bets were off. I pounded my mother with both fists, screamed at my father to "fuck off" and informed my baby's father over the phone that I was going to kill him bloody when he arrived. Oh, and I almost slapped a nurse who told me I needed to get in control of myself. * A quick survey of [[Main.SerenYGogledd this Troper]]'s friends reveals that ''swearing'' births are much more common than screaming ones. I dropped a single F Bomb, which I think was pretty good for a breech birth (and an emergency C section at the last possible minute). * This troper had a largely unmedicated homebirth (there were some shots after the baby was born to help pass the placenta) and there wasn't anything even close to screaming until the crowning stage at the very end. Even then it was more like "feral grunt of effort with a

sharper ow at the end". The Hubby tried several times to get me to say "You did this to me" which just made me giggle. But I'd had a good example from my sister who made a joke during transition. * This troper's aunt is a nurse. She once regaled us at a family dinner with a story of a woman in labour who grabbed the nearest male person - an intern in his mid-twenties - and screamed in his face, "MEN! Why do you do this to us?!" The aunt believes the intern is now gay. ** This troper wonders who is going to get the blame in a lesbian couple when one gives birth... *** The one who isn't giving birth, obviously. Unless they are both pregnant... ** This troper once asked her mother if she screamed while giving birth. "I didn't have the breath to spare" was the reply. ** This troper's wife gave birth 6 months ago. The epidural didn't work (too low), and the baby came before they could re-set it. There was a large amount of screaming involved. A very large amount. One other point that deserves mentioning -- there is no curtain that separates the lower half from the upper half in the delivery room. And if you're the husband, you're going to be seeing ''everything''. ** Whereas ThisTroper's mother more than once remarked that it was painful but not horribly agonizing compared to, say, a bad sports injury. ThisTroper imagines it varies by person and pain tolerance...but also that TV shows probably milk it for the comedy. *** It depends 'a lot' on the individual and pain tolerance. My Mom is TheStoic so about the only time she mentions the pain of child birth is when directly asked or when reminding us kids how much trouble she went through bringing us into the world. Even then she makes it sound more like a case of stomach flu than mind bending horror. Dad, who's a great deal more emotional and there all five times confirms that she really took the whole procedure rather well. ** This troper's mother claims to have laughed her way through it, and has never talked about the pain. ** This troper got in a discussion with his mother about it and she went through natural childbirth for 5 of us 6 (she tried the pain medication for the second of us, basically slept through the entire process which took hours, and decided to never do so again) and there were only two difficult births, the first and the last (the first because she didn't know what to expect and the last because of scarring). She's of the belief that most women simply expect birth to be a difficult and painful process and they either choose to be drugged to the gills or they hurt because they tense up against it in anticipation. * This troper's mother had to give birth to her second within clear earshot of another woman in labor who started screaming "I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it!.... I'm gonna PEEEEEEE!" Not all THAT long ago, women had to labor/birth/recover in three different rooms, all of them shared. Troper's mother thinks LDRP is the greatest prenatal medical advance, ever. ** Excuse me while sabrina_diamond literally laughs herself to death at this entry. * This troper's mother had a terrible time giving birth to this

troper's older sister. The sister was literally coming out butt-first, so she had a cesarean section. Her first pregnancy was so bad that she went with another cesarean section simply because she was afraid it would happen with this troper. ** Please excuse the amount of "this troper" in the above entry. * This troper's mother gave birth to me and all my siblings in relative quiet, she was raised in the school of "Calm the FUCK down and do it!" so she was more concerned about the baby actually getting out that "THIS HURTS SO BAD!!!" * According to this troper's mother, this trope practically kicked in full effect with her sister when, halfway through delivery, the sister's husband's cell phone went off and he answered it, causing the sister to snatch the cell phone out of his hand and nearly crush it. Apparently, "You never heard such swearing." * This troper's first birth was this. They shut the door to my labor room because I was disturbing the other laboring moms. * This troper's mother didn't scream any of the three times although she did other things. The closest she came was during the first time. She was hooked up to this machine that was supposed to tell when the contractions were coming before she felt them. It didn't work because my brother was upside down. Mom would keep saying she was having a contraction but Dad, being an engineer didn't think this was possible because it wasn't showing up on the machine. Mom finally growled -->"I'm having the contraction, not the machine!" ** The second time, the birthing woman's iritability only became an issue after the birth. A woman is supposed to give a couple gentle pushes to expel the afterbirth. Since my brother's birth had been hard and fast, Mom just thought "screw it", gave one big push and '''SPLAT''', all over the doctor. The third time (me) it was harder because the cord was around my neck. She almost broke Dad's elbow. *** Thank you for confirming this editor's homosexuality. **** I'm the one who added those examples and they certainly confirmed mine. * My mother was an aversion. She says other women were screaming bloody murder, but she apparently gritted her teeth and pushed those suckers out. And of course, me and my older siblings were born in positions that makes it even more painful for the mother. The last brother was born after about 5 hours of (relatively) painless labor. [[ParentalFavoritism Mom always did like him best.]] * This troper's mother will spew vitriol about the "natural birth" movement any chance she can get, because when she had her first child (my older sister), there was a last-minute switch of doctors and my mom ended up with some new guy who believed epidurals were wrong. There wasn't so much screaming as there was a lot of strangling my father, cursing the doctors and nurses, and swearing blood oaths to murder people. ** This troper and her fellow student nurses on L&D had a good long laugh over a patient who came to the unit with a three-page, singlespaced document detailing, down to the minute, her instructions for her natural birth plan. She barely made it an hour before trashcanning the whole enterprise and calling for the epidural. Funny how that works out...

* This troper will give birth to her (future, mind you) children via planned C-section due to her family history. Not one woman in my family on either side since 1940 has given birth without some kind of intervention. This is due to a tendency toward tiny women who make bruisers upwards of 9, 10, or 11 pounds with heads and shoulders too big to be delivered. So naturally, this trope has been played out many, many times in my family. If we lived pre-20th century or, hell, even in a third world country, our line would have died out in a matter of ''decades'' singlehandedly by DeathByChildbirth. * This troper recalls her mother screaming bloody murder while giving birth to her younger brother. This troper was nine (nearly ten) at the time and was escorted to ''the other end of the hall'' by her kind Sunday school teacher who had come to babysit her while her mother gave birth (this troper was just present because it was an excuse to be out of school, not because she likes babies, so she didn't care about missing it). Even with several yards and a closed door, this troper could hear her mother (couldn't understand her, but that may have been a good thing). It's one of the many, '''MANY''' reasons this troper '''NEVER, EVER''' wants kids, and preventing pregnancy is part of the reason she really wouldn't mind a hysterectomy, either (the other part is that [[NoPeriodsPeriod "mother nature"]] is a supreme annoyance). * My mother said that she only felt any real pain with me, the third kid. This was because she wasn't fully dilated. Although I don't think she screamed, considering she goes invokes the ClusterFBomb trope whenever she is in pain. * My mom's first birth, my brother, went quickly and mostly painlessly due to "really awesome drugs" (her words, not mine). As such, she expected my birth to go similarly. Until the nurse did the epidural wrong ("Oops!" is never really something you want to hear when pushing out a watermelon, says my mom). Apparently, she didn't really start screaming until the end, but the whole process was a big long stream of "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK". And on top of that, she had to overhear the nurse describing me to another nurse as she cleaned me off, "Would you look at the thunder thighs on this one?" Let's just say that this story and others like it have convinced me that I NEVER want to give birth. * This troper's mum attests that screaming through Troper and TroperSis's births ''kept her from being in pain''. Apparently the experience was overwhelming but not painful at all. (Mum saw a midwife, not a doctor, for both children.) Naturally, no-one believes us.... ** This troper does. Screaming releases endorphins, which help to block pain. She once had an elderly psychology teacher who was allergic to morphine and had trouble with chronic pain; said teacher's methods of dealing with pain included swimming (to get a "swimmer's high" - the poor woman couldn't run to save her life, so no runner's high for her), singing, and screaming at the top of her lungs while driving around in the car so the rest of her family wouldn't hear. She doesn't believe it'd work ''for herself'', but she believes your mother could. * My mom once walked by as I was watching a movie which included a

Screaming Birth. She rolled her eyes and mentioned that none of the four times she gave birth included her screaming like that. * When this troper's mom was in labor with one of the three of us kids, one of the nurses said "You can scream if you want!" Mom merely rolled her eyes and focused on her breathing. (Though all of us were ultimately born via C-section, after poor Mom spent hours in labor) Every time she sees this trope enacted, she says "Oh, COME ON! It doesn't happen like that!" There was also no screaming "You did this to me", though she was a little irritated during one birth when Dad had been drinking coffee and was unintentionally breathing bad coffee breath near her face. * Notably subverted in the case of this troper's mother, despite the comedy of errors surrounding said troper's birth. In short, her mother was blessed with "premature rupture of membranes," an overblown way of saying that the woman's water breaks but labor doesn't start for whatever reason. Then she was given Pitocin to start things along, which she describes as the most painful experience of her life thus far. ''Then'' the epidural she was given was misplaced, which no one believed until the OB/GYN finally confirmed it and put a new one in. Finally, after a straight day's worth of labor, someone decided this wasn't working and a C-section was performed. Despite all this she claims she never felt the need to scream, although she was annoyed by the fact that this troper's father kept staring at her waiting for something to happen. And by spending a day in the hospital feeling completely fine except for the fact that she was in labor. * My mother ended up having a screaming birth with me, mostly due to minor incompetence on the part of the hospital. The whole story sounds like a plot to a sitcom episode. She had to transfer to a second hospital in another town an hour away (which ended up with some hilarious stories involving the inexperienced rookie paramedic who was terrified about having to deliver his first baby EVER.) When she finally gets to the hospital, nobody seemed to believe her when she said she (and I) were ready, so they didn't bother to try to make her comfortable. She was placed on a cot she says was roughly the width of an ironing board (and pregnancy aside, my mother is not a petite woman.) She then frequently screams at a nurse that she was ready to deliver, and the nurse didn't believe her. When the nurse finally bothered to check, she said, "Whoops, I guess you are ready," and I was delivered not shortly after, completely painkiller free. * While I've never asked my mum what giving birth was like for her, she actually gets annoyed/is amused by ScreamingBirth scenes on TV when they come up, saying "it's not THAT bad!". * What comes to mind isn't just my mother's story of how she gave birth to me (I wanted out so fast the epidural never kicked in), but also my former co-worker's story of her giving birth to her second child. Co-worker's story involves nervous husband and eventual emergency c-section. Let's just say that this has made me really second-guess my wanting to have my own kids... ---Go back to [[ScreamingBirth Screaming Biiiiiaaaaaaahhhhhhh!]]

---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScreamingWarrior * This Troper was on a LARP. It was her first game, so she preferred to watch and learn from her more [[GenreSavvy]] friend. At one point, hiding in bushes after some careful sneaking, he said to her: 'now we can get loud'. She took it a bit too literally and instead of just attacking she charged out at full speed, yelling ''BAN[[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]]-ZAI!!'' The enemies' faces were priceless. * This Troper feels he channeled his Celtic ancestors once during a pickup football game. He simply charged ahead, screaming at the top of his lungs and tackled the wide-eyed receiver who was too scared to move. * [[{{Chabal 2}} This troper]] pulled one off at the semi-insistance of his dormmates, directed at another who was hiding behind a gaggle of younger students in a narrow corridor. It turns out that when a hairy 6-foot-tall barbarian comes charging at you screaming wordless rage directed at you personally and shaking the floor with every step, you RUN. FAST. FASTER THAN YOU THOUGHT POSSIBLE. Said troper was later told he appeared to be channeling Chabal himself, hence the name. ** Also, several years prior, I was in a dorm where we played soccer every night. As a MightyGlacier, I always played defense, primarily by barging towards whoever had the ball and bellowing. While this didn't often get me the ball (wouldn't be able to do much with it anyway, having laughable aiming skills), it did work exceedingly well at terrorizing the poor guy into letting the ball get away into the reach of a teammate. I was explicitly compared to a charging boar. * This troper has consistently failed at trying this, usually resulting in laughter, but the only time he did Screaming with intention to also do the Warrior, it worked amazingly well. Once, in high-school, a minor disagreement evolved into a group of five waiting outside for some ass-kicking. As I was going to get hurt, might as well vent out some frustration. I screamed, I charged, I punched a guy in the throat. They ran away, and the next day, two of them even apologized. * In a battle-LARP [[{{Eisenblume}} this troper]] took part in (Swedish stuff, much more hardcore than US [=LARPs=]) there sere a bunch of[[NinjaPirateZombieRobot arab-pirate-ninja-assassins]] called the Black Sun who are much more bloodthirsty than the other factions. Among other things, while charging, they shout "LAMA-HAYAD!". It sounds silly when calm, but when armed with crossbows and being charged by these bloody (literally), screaming, uninhibited ''fuckers'' you CANNOT stay calm. ** LARPer here too (italian). My ex girlfriend is still famous in one or two (big) associations for her battlecries.. just a wordless shout of rage, but so loud it can DROWN OUT THE SOUND OF A PITCHED BATTLE. It got to the point that warriors waited to hear it as a sign that

shit just got serious. ** The brotherhood of Fenris at the large event this Troper annually attends use this with their defence strategy. It's surprising how about a hundred well drilled and trained norse soldiers in black plate leather shouting 'OUT!' in unison can turn momentum in a shield wall clash. Similiarly, the screaming warrior method is oft use to conceal the movements of some of our assassins so that the rest of the battle doesn't hear the call of 10 second fatal venom. * This troper's previous karate Sensei was sort of like this when sparring. Very agressive, screamed very loudly, but was actually a tiny and female. And a primary school teacher. * This troper had found himself in several fights during Junior High. One of these fights pitted him against a group of five. Having had it up to here with the senseless bullying, he charged into battle screaming at the top of his lungs and nailing the first guy he saw with an uppercut. While the other four ran, this troper approached the fallen one for further punishment, But upon seeing him crying, decided to leave him alone. ** This Troper had a similar experience, with the difference that no one ran away. Damn you, puberty... * This [[{{Keirei}} troper]] likes to do this during karate sparring; first, he keeps quite, just fighting until near the end of the round. Then when I fight the [[ArrogantKungFuGuy annoying kid]], I roar in his face as I bomp him repeatedly in the face. * This troper goes crazy whenever he smashes the thai pads while training. Someone's comment was "Kru, you just missed ____ go apeshit." <<|TroperTales|>>

ScreamsLikeALittleGirl * TruthInTelevision: This Troper's Brother (6 feet tall 200 pounds) does this on every roller coaster he has ridden to such a degree that it prevents the other riders of the vehicle from screaming because they are in stitches laughing. ** Oh, yes. TruthInTelevision. This troper only found out she has a shockingly high vocal range when her instructor stopped her midpractice, gave her a death glare and told her to ''shriek'' at the top of her lungs. Totally at odds with the whole 'deep voice, mildly androgynous' thing I'd had going on. (Also on roller coasters. Shrill, piercing and irrationally continual even once I'm off the damn ride.) ** This troper has a male friend who exhibits this in reference to spiders. ** This troper's father does this around spiders as well. It's quite hilarious, considering he's such a [[TheBigGuy powerhouse]]. * This troper's dog managed to elicit a girly scream from the village big guy. Situation: big guy visits house, unaware of the nature of friendly dog. Friendly dog is unaware of proper greeting practices. Cause: Friendly dog's cold nose meets the front of big guy's pants. Result: Big guy goes from baritone to soprano in a fraction of a second. Much laughter is had, and the dog is never broken of this

habit. Girly-screamers are exposed as such at the door from that point on. * This troper is sure she will find that she can scream quite girlishly if she ever gets dragged to Canada's Wonderland's Halloween Haunt. It's one thing facing horror movies (screams can be resisted more easily)...facing practically living horror movies is something totally different. She desperately hopes for the sake of her pride she doesn't get dragged. * [[{{AceOfScarabs}} This troper]] can fake a girly scream, but doesn't practice it in case he accidentally uses the scream at the wrong moment. * This troper, upon being presented with a badass blue longcoat from his friend squeed really loudly and at high pitch and threw his arms around the guy's neck. He's not a girl, he swears. * This troper has a slightly different case. His normal voice is a deep scratchy baritone verging on basso at times(caused by non-smoking related lung damage, just got born with a bad set) and he doesn't have a girly scream, but rather a normal manly roar. However, his laugh is apparently like an effeminate anime villain hamming it up. Understandably he's tried to enforce a more appropriate chuckle onto himself, but after ten years of trying there is little success. Laughter is very hard to control. * This troper has a fairly low voice for a girl, but if someone sneaks up on her (or puts a life-sized Barack Obama cardboard cutout behind her in the hallway and calls her) (or if a sadistic librarian sets up two giant tiger mascot heads on mannequins behind her and calls her) she will scream like a small child. * This Troper manages to both subvert this and play this straight; when he gets really angry (as in murderous rage angry) he lets out an animal-like roar, but when scared from behind he lets out a highpitched "eep", made worse with his laughter which seems to resemble a Yamato Nadeshiko-like character. * [[JapaneseTeeth This troper]] discovered this about one of his friends when my dad took him down to the basement, hid, and popped out at him. He not only did the scream, but also the little "wave hands frantically in front of face" gesture. * [[@/{{Bisected8}} This Troper]] has screamed once like this in his life, it was while watching the movie "Film/{{Evolution}}" in the cinema, more specifically when the pool attendant looks in the filter tank and an alien fish jumps into the side. * This troper has an unusually high pitch for a 6 feet tall mexican guy... * This Troper's friend invokes this on purpose for added funny on any given statement. * [[AnjitheBeast This Troper]] despite singing contralto and speaking in a medium alto, gave a "Girl Scream" only once: During Casino Royale, when the FUCKING ASTON MARTIN FLIPPED OVER. That poor car... ** You and [[{{Skazka}} me]] are obviously related. (I'd query tremulously 'Kate?' but you know that ends badly.) * [[TromboneChild This Troper's]] 16-year-old brother. Usually when he's either very upset or very frightened. It's incredibly funny, though.

* When [[MrInitialMan this troper]] got his pinky caught between a 1/4"-thick piece of sheet metal and a machine, he was heard ''all over the shop.'' Even outside. In my defense, I'd like to submit that freakin' HURT. * This troper has a relatively deep voice for a girl, but getting poked in the stomach or flank can make her ''squeal''. * In ninth grade, [[RitiTroll this one]] went to Universal Studios Orlando for a chorus competition, and had to deal with going around Islands of Adventure the next day with her arch rival. One of the few good memories she has of high school (Presently being in college) is the fact said rival, who prided himself on being a manly man black belt Proud Warrior Race Guy, not only hyperventilated in the queue for the Hulk Coaster, but later screamed like a sissy little girl on the Jurassic Park water ride. * ThisTroper discovered how high his voice could go after a spell of freezing rain that left all the sidewalks covered in ''very'' smooth ice. Shrieking "FUCK" in a falsetto after almost slipping for the fifth time in less than a block is sorta cathartic. * This troper frequently has nightmares in which he's in some terrifying situation and cannot scream. Some years ago, after breaking his ankle, he was crutching home one day when he was attacked by two big dogs. While on crutches, mind. He was oddly relieved to find that indeed, he can produce quite a bloodcurdling scream when necessary. (Four years of voice training helps with this.) * Deconstructed/Subverted by me...me and three other boys were in a tent, at a camp for our school. One of us spots a huge wolf spider, and calmly points it out. We just sort of look at it for a little bit, not at all perturbed. Then, I say, "Alright, on the count of three, scream like little girls, we'll see if the camp counselor comes." Sure enough, the counselor came a running, and said that they were rather confused, as they knew that this was a boy's tent, but that the screaming sounded exactly like little girls. * This troper, when she was younger, entered a competition to see who was best at screaming like a little girl. She was the only female. And she ''lost.'' * This troper usually goes around in big stompy boots and a camouflage jacket and has been told she projects an impression of being unapproachable and sometimes even intimidating. She has also been told she sneezes adorably, like a cartoon mouse. * This troper is a girl and incapable of screaming like one. She always goes "Gah!" when surprised or scared, or makes no noise at all. Spider? Run for a paper towel to squash it without uttering a peep. Hit the pavement in a bone-jarring impact? Not a word, just get up and access the damage. Her brother, on the other hand, can shriek like a little girl at will. * This troper and a few of his cousins and their significant others were in water park in Spain. This troper managed to shriek so impressively on one of the slides the one of those cousins was convinced it was his pregnant, and very traditionally feminine wife coming down the chute (guess who didn't scream at all that day?) * This troper ends up making one of a great range of high pitched yelping/squeaking noises when caught off-guard (He's rather high

strung). He also screams like a harpy, but that doesn't come up often. * Aversion: [[{{This-guy}} I]] don't scream. Ever. * This troper was playing ''Fatal Frame 2'' while her brother's friend was watching. Said friend is not very big or anything but he'd gone through puberty and had a low voice. Until No Escape happened. He screamed louder and more girly than I did! I about pissed myself laughing at him but he was incredibly embarrassed and never watched me play the game again. Ever. * [[AdamS This Troper]] has one of the deepest voices out of the people he knows, and rarely, if ever, screams. (Even when I do, I scream normally.) But when a script calls for it, or if it would be funny, I can scream like a little girl (Or as a friend put it, like a little gay man.) * This female Troper screams like a guy, and has friends that see how high they can yell. They usually end up sounding like little five year old girls who just hot a tetanus shot. However, this troper's deep voice allows her to do almost authentic slow motion sounds. It's also another reason I'm mistaken for a boy. * Justified as this troper IS a girl, but usually not an AIEEEEEE sound, but more of an, "OMIGOSH. When did you get there?" Kind of sound. * This troper, while a bit of a wimp, has an unnaturally deep voice. He cannot sing any note not in baritone/bass range. And yet, he somehow hit a note that he was unable to duplicate except by whistle when his brother threw a dead lizard on him * [[CrashGordon94 I]] play this trope COMPLETELY straight, as a 5 foot 7 15 year old guy, and it's fun and I'm proud of it! :D * Do not Stealth Tickle SquealingSandry. She will shatter your eardrums like a [[{{Naruto}} Sound Ninja]]. * ThisTroper when in amusement parks, but not for the reasons you might think. It's just way too much fun to be on a mellow ride and start screaming like a little girl to make the people behind you start wondering whether they got on the wrong ride. * Years ago, [[@/PentiumMMX2 this troper]] and his older sister seemed to have the screams reversed. While I did scream like a girl, my sister screamed like a guy. * This troper is ''extremely'' ticklish around the midsection. Recently, while he was rehearsing for a musical, someone discovered this, and it became a RunningGag for his castmates to sneak up behind him, tickle and/or poke him, and laugh to the girly squeals he made as a result. Ironically, this troper sings bass and often has trouble hitting the higher notes when singing. But just give him a gentle poke when he's not looking, and he sounds like a soprano. * This troper doesn't scream, taking to a high pitched "Yeep!!" when startled, so she was rather shocked when the one time she DID scream in a girly fashion (her cat opened the shower door while she was shampooing her hair, and when she opened her eyes he was leaning in the tub staring at her) ''no one heard''. Despite the fact that her entire family was within yelling distance and it was high pitched enough to keep the cat from ever doing that again. * This troper's best guy friend is the embodiment of this trope, especially when jumped at from behind.

* This troper's 6 foot, 325 pound father ''always'' screams like a little girl if there's a mouse around. (Sometimes even hamsters.) * One of this tropers friends did this when he saw a rat eating out of a bowl on the floor. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny It was a pet rat]]. * [[{{Tropers.Theologica}} This Troper]] is capable of this, as evidenced by her screaming little under an hour ago when she got the heck scared out of her by a spider. Yikes. x_x * This troper doesn't raise her voice much, but when she does she tries desperately not to shriek like a little girl, because that's a very annoying sound. The result is that this troper screams rather quietly. * This tropette makes tiny noises of distress whenever she sees a spider, and normally has to resist doing little else for the sake of her pride. That all went out the window the night she was busy doing homework on her laptop and then noticed waving above her from her fan. She looks up and tilts her laptop screen so that she can see the BIGGEST COBWEB EVER with the SPIDER STILL AT HOME. Note that this is above her own bed! At two thirty AM, this tropette let out the loudest and most feminine noise she has ever made. * This tropette sings alto in choir, and has a lower voice. But she is also extremely ticklish, and (as her friends found out) makes very high-pitched squeals when tickled. They exploit this whenever possible. * This troper is an example of the opposite. Despite being female and at 156 cm, fitting the "little" part of the description - she's been mimicked and/or seen people burst into laughter on more than one occasion in response to her oddly un-feminine scream. When startled or shocked, she'll let out a scream that isn't so much a scream as a deep, roaring "YEEAAARGGH!" not unlike the Howie Long scream mentioned in the [[StockScream Stock Scream]] entry. One notable example happened when she looked down, saw a dead mouse right next to her foot and promptly bolted past her boyfriend and his roommate all the way to the opposite end of the house. * [[Tropers/MonkeyPhysics I]] don't limit myself to just screaming, although that does happen with embarrassing regularity.. Any expression of surprise, excitement or indignation is usually about three octaves or so higher than normal. It's got to the point where my friends use it to check whether I should lay off the caffeine for a bit. * This Troper once had a role in a Holloween hike at his school, where he'd stand in a full body suit waiting for someone to come and stand still like a statue, then leapt out and startle them. One of his first 'victims' was a very large jock and his girlfriend. When he jumpped out, said jock screamed more like a little girl than his girlfriend, who afterward's facepalmed. Another of this Troper's friends can confirm this as he got the same reaction with his act from the same jock. * During class one time, my friends and I were comparing the answers of a test our teacher passed back, and my friend discovered that he got ten points taken off a right answer. Cue a loud squeak that sounded like "What?" * [[AnnoyingYoungerSibling My brother]] screams like this. He does

this quite a lot, without any thought for whoever might hear. Any threat of revealing this fact does not make him any less annoying. Did I mention he also has no qualms of doing this with his shirt off? [[CampStraight Yeah.]] * This tropper found out how afraid of heights she was on the Six Flags ride, Acrophobia. Needless to say, she screamed like a 5yo girl the whole way down. * One of this troper's friends said he screamed like a girl. When he actually did scream, it was ''very'' girly. This troper tried to imitate the range with little success. Oh, yea, did I mention I'm a girl? -SenshiSun ---Back to [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl Screams Like A Litt]]-AAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScrewedByTheNetwork How'd you react when your favorite show was ScrewedByTheNetwork? Tell your stories here. ---* This troper remembers when {{Invader Zim}} aired at 9:45 PM. Nickelodeon would also only air one segment of the show, and when Hobo 13 and Walk for Your Lives were supposed to premiere, only Hobo 13 was aired. * This troper, at the age of around 7, would wake up at 5:30 to watch {{Captain Planet}} and {{Digimon}}. Sometimes I even got up at 3 to watch Wacky Races, then went back to bed when it was over. ** You too? I always tried to wake up early enough to watch Captain Planet, but I usually failed. * The practice of putting on anime shows ''way'' too early for small children happens in Australia too. ''This'' editor taped ''DragonballZ'' and watched it after school! (Shut up, I was ''ten''.) ** Hey, I did the same thing with ''{{Pokemon}}'' until I was 13. *** Not me. I woke up early enough to watch it normally. Hooray for being on the East Coast (where it wasn't ungodly early)! ** This troper's FATHER did this for G Gundam and just about every anime that came on reguardless of channel. ** And this one remembers having to force himself up at 4:30 in the morning for ''SamuraiPizzaCats''! Yeow! Although the extension of ''PowerRangers'' from a half hour to one...that probably had something to do with it. ** I am no longer alone... I was getting up at 5 AM weekdays to watch Beetlejuice. Finally I could take no more... I abandoned my show for a paltry three hours' sleep... I am ashamed to call myself a fan. *** But not, apparently, a [[GirlGenius Jagermonster]]. ** The same happens in Spain too. I used to wake up at 7 AM to watch

Pokemon when I was little. Today I often wake up at the same hour on weekends to watch WWE. * Actually, this happens to roughly maybe 40% of syndicated animation. They'd air at either 5 o' clock, which is too early, or at 7 or 8 weekday mornings, when most kids are already off to school. By the Eighth Grade, this troper had finally caught wise, and for years, would wake up early, or check the morning listings every few months just to see if anything sounded interesting. He caught ''{{Battletech}}'', ''HeavyGear'', ''BeastWars'', ''Roughnecks: StarshipTroopers'', and many others (including ''{{Pokemon}}'', which he just ''happened'' to catch on it's first episode) this way. For the late morning shows, he'd pop in a tape and leave it on record before heading off to school. * This Australian Troper remembers having watched both ''{{Robotech}}'' and ''[[UchuuSenkanYamato Starblazers]]'' as perhaps the first animation he saw. In later years ''Starblazers'' came back.....for one episode, and ''Robotech'' also stopped again after a few episodes. Luckily it came back again but I had to record each episode while I walked to school (and I lived in the same street). * [[ShayGuy This American troper]] used to set his alarm for 6:20, set his clothes out for the next day before going to bed, and be up, dressed, and in front of the TV in the basement in time to watch {{Pokemon}} at 6:30. Then come upstairs at 7:00, eat, and get ready for school. He now finds it incredible that he could ever have had that much self-discipline or control over his sleep patterns. ** Yeah, same here. * This Australian troper remembers getting up at 6am to watch Teknoman. It was awesome. Sitting in a pitch dark loungeroom eating froot loops in front of the fire with the TV on ultra low volume so as not to wake my parents as I got my dosage of surpringly uncut (considering other anime on TV was Sailor Moon and Speed Racer, this was pre-Pokemon and DBZ) mecha (or armor suit really) anime. * This Australian trooper also knows that they aired '''Naruto''' at 7 AM! '''NARUTO'''!! You can guess what they [[{{Macekre}} did to it]]. * This American troper started getting up at the crack of dawn to watch not only Sailor Moon, but Samurai Pizza Cats while in elementary and middle school. Naturally, this troper is very glad that all her favorite anime is (mostly) on bilingual [=DVDs=] now she doesn't have to pry her bleary-eyed butt out of bed and still only get to watch the {{Macekre}} version. * Fuck it, this troper is ''still'' pissed about how CBS treated ''{{Moonlight}}''. It was hitting a fantastic creative stride, was getting 7-8 million viewers consistently on ''Friday night'', vampires are the fad of the moment, and... they cancelled it. Thank god they at least got the OfficialCouple together, or this troper might have had a HeroicBSOD. * This * English* troper remembers a time when all England thought of as anime should be kept far from childrens' eyes, unless it was something rather sanctioned like Pokmon, and even then it was only the first half of the first series. So she remembers crawling out of bed at like 4 am to watch this wonderful thing of sailor collars and ribbon bows (aka Sailor Moon); that and also the decent version of

DBZ, newer Pokmon, Noah's Island and some weird German love-theenvironment show called Tabaluga that nobody else seems to have heard of. And five years before then - sunday mornings and Sharkey and George. Of those last three they seem to have disappeared into the ether forever - I can't even find the theme song to Noah's Island for love nor money. * [[{{Indigo}} This troper]] has never forgiven the WB for their "Big Kids Go First" lineup. The so-called "big kids" are the ones likelier to sleep in rather than get up at the crack of dawn. The so-called "big kids" are also the ones likelier to have stuff going on in the early morning if they ''are'' already up, so it was rather obvious to this troper at least that they did it to kill shows they knew the older demographic wouldn't or couldn't get up for. They have, however, seemed to learn their lesson. Most of the older demographic shows on their current 2008 lineup air past 9:30 am. Or not. They did cancel ''Series/{{Legion Of Super-Heroes}}'', but that was [[FourKidsEntertainment 4Kids!]] took over the air-slot. ** You're not alone. A LOT of Freakazoid fans have never forgiven the WB for screwing it. This Troper more or less turned away from the WB afterward. * This troper knows of one local-affiliate station that put ''[[{{Jeopardy}} Jeopardy!]]'' -- yes, '''that''' ''Jeopardy!'', the ratings juggernaut -- at 2:30 AM. Yes, AM. That is not a typo. At least, that is not this troper's typo, though this troper suspects someone at the network made a typo. Or had a few too many Potent Potables to drink. Or had a grudge after losing to RalphWiggum on the show. One has to wonder how many people got fired for that. ** WNBC in NY did that for the first year of its existance back in 1984. Then WABC started airing it at 4:30 in the afternoon and then 7:00 at night and has been doing so ever since. * [[AndyWaltfeld This Troper]] is still butthurt about the loss of ''CodeLyoko'' and ''MobileSuitGundam'' and since no underground streaming video channel will run the former, may wind up going on a RoaringRampageOfRevenge in Atlanta...wait, Cartoon Network moved their main operations to Burbank. ''SHIT.'' ** Revenge? May I join you? I'm annoyed over that too. ...I'll never get to see how it ends! * sob* * This troper is still scarred by the constant tossing of {{Digimon}} around various networks, including its disappearance from TV all together for an entire year or two... * I'm still [[FacePalm facepalming]] over Swedish network Tv4's handling of SailorMoon. We got to episode 23 (skipping two eps because the tapes got damaged) before their program block changed and it was removed because the producer thought [[DidNotDoTheResearch it was a sick show filled with violence and karate kicks.]] Two years follow with nothing until they start showing it again. Most fans were happy (especially since the before mentioned two eps were shown)... until episode 34 was sent without the background song, removing a big chunk of the atmosphere even for us first-time viewers. People complained, especially after two more eps had no songs. This led to eps 49, 54 and 69, all with songs, not being shown. After some probing by the fans we found out the removed songs ''because Tv4 didn't want songs people

couldn't understand in the background and had them removed'' and, rather than facing more complaints, decided not to send/dub those three episodes at all. Aside from this, things were still going well until late fall 2000 when we were promised a Xmas marathon of the last 12 eps of Sailor moon R. Xmas comes and goes, but nothing. Not until the summer of 2001, when they suddenly started reruns late mornings from ep 21, leading to new episodes being sent when [[WhatAnIdiot most of the intended audience are at school.]] Alright, we just had to program the VHS... expect for some reason Tv4 thought it was a good idea to move around when it started so we'd miss 5-10 minutes of either the beginning or the end. Strangely enough it wasn't dropped because of bad ratings, but because their license ran out a few weeks after the last episode was finally shown. ** Kanal 5 picked up Sailor Moon a year later and did a much better job. Aside from having to skip the non-dubbed eps they showed it daily, had six reruns and were willing to buy the rest of the seasons... only by now Toei had pulled the license worldwide. I'm still bitter about it. *** {{Mr B}} here, this explains a lot if why i now in retroperspective can't make out why i haven't seen some episodes, this just ansvered some of my longest standing questions. * [[Tropers/{{Dallenson}} This troper]] Used to watch Pokemon Galactic battles (I think its called that) everytime He was waiting for the bus (Woken up at around 6:00 bus comes at 7:00), that was until Cartoon network decided to reschedule it to 7:00. [[{{Atomicfbomb}} FFFFFFUUUUUUUU]]. Oh well. atleast it avoids any {{Guilty Pleasure}} Moments. * If [[GwenStacyWannabe I]] happen to fall in love with a show, that show will die in a horrible manner soon after I discover it. Case in point: I start watching ''PhilOfTheFuture'' in the middle of its second season, it's canceled at the end of the season with [[LeftHanging no wrap-up whatsoever]]. ''TheSpectacularSpiderMan'' will probably not live to see a third season, despite it being hailed as the best animated Spidey adaptation by critics and fans alike, because of its move to DisneyXD and erratic airings. Oh, and I didn't even ''know'' about ''{{Firefly}}'' when that aired...it seems FOX looked to the future and said "Hey, this will become [this troper's] favorite live-action show and restore her faith in live-action television, let's nuke it!" (I'm a little bitter, yes.) Not to mention countless flash-in-the-pan cartoons I watched as a small child and loved regardless of their many flaws... ''[[AvatarTheLastAirbender Avatar]]'' was the only one to escape, but TheMovie will take care of that, of course. * When Transformers: Animated Ended, and I found out there will not be another season, I just got mad and go into rants every time about how they didn't answer all the questions! * When I first started watching ''Kings'' on NBC, my first reaction was, "Holy cow, this show is amazingly well-written, innovative, wonderfully acted, and visually stunning. It will never last." Sure enough, they're canning it in favor of more doctor/lawyer/cop shows. * This troper, upon hearing of the unnannounced schedule move for ''The Secret Saturdays'': "Oh no. [[DannyPhantom It's ]] [[TruCalling

happening]] [[TheMiddleman again]]..." * I personally can say that finding out that SuperRobotMonkeyTeamHyperforceGo got cancelled '''right before the apocalyptic final battle''' really sucked, especially because I found out about it ''after'' waiting patiently for a rerun of the finale. ''For months''. * I'm pulling my hair out at the fact that KingOfTheHill was canceled to make room for a damned ''FamilyGuy'' '''SPIN-OFF.''' ** Also, I'm pulling what's left of my hair at the fact that the only remaining cartoons on CartoonNetwork are {{Chowder}} and TheMarvelousMisadventuresOfFlapjack, besides the PG [[TotalDramaIsland shows by the Canadians.]] Then {{Chowder}} was announced canceled on the creator's blog. WordOfGod says it was all to make room for CNReal, as put by the creator of {{Chowder}} again. (But in a way so that he isn't exactly "revealing" it, most likely another move by the executives. Or I'm just a {{PsyCho}}.) ** Well, technically, StarWarsTheCloneWars and Ben10AlienForce are still 'being published' but yeah, the way this is going, Flapjack is going to become CartoonNetwork's Spongebob. *** At least we have RegularShow and WesternAnimation/AdventureTime now, which are actually good cartoons which are sure to last. Maybe. * If you set up ''ColdCase'' without padding the stop time on the DVR by at ''least'' 2 hours, you're just asking for a mid-episode cutoff most of the time. Why don't they just ''write the schedule'' with the 1-1.5 hour football overrun ''assumed''? If it doesn't, put in reruns or post-game, or something! ** You usually don't have to do this if you live in the Mountain or Pacific time zones; CBS has usually ended football coverage by the time 60 Minutes starts. * To this troper, it was Art Attack, among many others. For many years it's been on air at late midnight, 2 AM, 6 AM, 9-something AM and 2 PM (one hour later in Disney Channel +1). I couldn't watch it unless I slipped into the living room at 12 PM, lowered toe volume to inhuman levels and was as silent/stealthy as a ninja. Sometimes I even fell asleep while waiting for the 2 AM and 6 AM shows. * This troper used to have to wake up at 6am to watch ''MewMewPower''. As you can guess, she didn't keep it up for long. ** So did this troper! (Then I found out how screwed up the episode order was, and all that jazz.) * This troper has more than a couple of examples that still make him quite bitter, but the one that stands out the most was when I woke up, eagerly anticipating the newest season of ''[[Series/SonictheHedgehog Sonic the Hedgehog]]'', only to find it had been canned to make room for ''a flippin' Free Willy cartoon''. I ''still'' remember the reaction on my face, and if I could retroactively describe what words were going through my head, it would probably amount to '''''[[AC:What the flipping blue fuck is this shit!?]]''''' * The memories This Troper has of attempting to wake up at 5:00 AM to watch TransformersCybertron are not pleasant ones. Oh, the pure rage he acquired when Kids WB ended just as he began to get interested in the story. * In 1994, Fox Kids called for the Zord changes at the beginning of

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Season 2 to come early. A decade later, this troper learns the first 10 of Lord Zedd's monsters were originally filmed fighting the Dino Megazord. Main Problem? Lokar was this troper's favorite character! And Lokar is said to have been involved in the Bloom of Doom's Zord fight! Argh! * This Troper has long held a grudge against sports programming preempting saturday morning cartoonsalthough he'll make [[IncrediblyLamePun grudging]] allowances for news broadcasts; like the time some guys in China were protesting something in a square on the ''one'' day I was trying to tape ''The Flintstone Kids.''-back from early childhood, up into the early years of this century. This isn't so much of a problem these days...mostly because Saturday Morning Cartoons, as such, have mostly gone the way of the dinosaurs. ''"Thou hast conquered, O pale Galilean."'' ** ''This'' Troper still refuses to watch televised sports because the programming would always happen to pre-empt ''[[TransformersGeneration1 Transformers]]'' when he was a kid. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] hated how CartoonNetwork treated some of the less popular shows he liked, such {{MAR}}. I remember how they aired the first episode...and then jumped straight to Episode 5 without any warning. They did start showing it in order a month later, and got pretty far in, but the damage had already been done; the ratings where lower than what they wanted, so they canceled it. * This Canadian troper remembers a fine anime block on YTV, which went by the name of Bionix. It aired all Friday Night, with shows like FullmetalAlchemist, DeathNote and InvaderZim (Not anime but seriously, who isn't a fan?), which brought him into anime years ago. However, YTV found an (unfortunate) love for reality shows. replaced Bionix, moved the anime to Saturday, only to be cancelled altogether for [[AdoredBytheNetwork "favourites"]] like [[FollowTheLeader Next Star]], [[CNReal Survive This]], [[NetworkDecay which American viewers should understand]] and the unlikeable [[SoBadItsHorrible Prank Patrol.]] Needly to say, [[DepressingTropes "I'm not happy."]] ** ...I REMEMBER THAT. They had Inuyasha, too! Part that sucked? My family are CHRISTIAN. That means, back then at least, NO FANTASY. With it also being after dusk on Fridays? Doomed love. And THEN they put Bleach, Naruto and....that Galaxy Rangers thing on at three in the bloody morning! Galaxy Rangers was made by the people who did Totally Spies and Martin Mystery, which are ALSO never on anymore. FUCK YOU YTV. FUCK YOU TELETOON. Enough with your stupid reality shows, GIVE US OUR FUNNY BACK! I want to finish my homework, grab a soda and watch Inuyasha get sat, Martin getting whaled on by Diana, and the Spies being awesome. NOT STUPID PRANKS. I don't care if they have ninjas, they still are not funny at all. And bring back Sugar. She was so cuuute! * Sonic the hedgehog. SATAN. WHY? F*C* YOU POWER RANGERS AND NEW PRESIDENT OF ABC! * Watching episodes of Pokmon and Yu-Gi-Oh on the WB after school was this troper's ritual when he was younger. Then the network started announcing their impending name-change to MyNetworkTV. He figured this would not affect him and therefore did not care... until he tuned in

the day of the switch, and discovered that his shows had apparently been kicked off the 4:00-5:00 timeslot and replaced with reruns of According to Jim. [[ClusterFBomb He was not pleased.]] * I'm not sure if this counts, but here goes: After buying the 1st Season of Gargoyles on DVD and falling in love with it (so did my other siblings), we bought the 1st of Season 2. We figured that it might take a few months maybe a year or two, for the next set to come out. The SBN comes in when we found out that Disney is not continuing the series on DVD, due to "low sales". But it took at least 3-4 years after we bought the first two sets to find this out. * Oh, oh, oh German channels screw up so horribly right and often... ** Series/DoctorWho was first shown in March 2008, where it aired in two-episode bundles Saturday evening and to the exact same time as soccer was on the air. They made a respectable amount of advertisement, but seem to have completely ignored that regardless of what you air, if soccer is on, your programm could be a recording of paint drying. The ratings were miserable for three weeks and they put it on the air a few weeks later at Sundays as one episode per week, also around evening. The quotes got significantly better, but because it was already three months ago that they advertised the show, so it is still wondering how they got anyone watching who wasnt a DW fanboy/girl. The show tottered around until series 2 finale and wont be brought back because of high licensing costs. At least Torchwood seems to be more popular. *** It also didnt help to censor the episodes to senselessness. Episode 6 Dalek hit it the most: You see NOT A SINGLE ONE of the soldiers die. Most memorably is the censoring of how the Dalek killed the people with the fire alarm. It shot the alaram, hovered, aimed for the floor, sudden cut to Doctor/Van Statten being sad and the Dalek declaring he wants to speak with the Doctor. Just painfull to watch... ** My name is Earl looked like it would be utterly annihilated with being shown at midnight in the night of Friday/Saturday. They cannceled it after a few weeks and it looked like they wouldnt consider putting it on the air ever again, but they finally ended up airing it Saturday afternoon, two complete seasons. ** Firefly got a much worse treatment here as in the USA. The premiere of the show was AUTUMN 2009 and showed it on SuperRTL (aka Disney cartoons and sitcoms). The firm also owned RTL2 (known for Sci-Fi Wednesday, which at the time consisted of 4 rerun episodes of Stargate, but whatever...). At least we got all episodes in normal order, but they really took their time to ham up the WallBanger with airing movie sequel Serenity on RTL2, Sci-Fi Wednesday, and then also several weeks later and censored (although it reran uncut at 1 am again). ** You could say this about nearly everything what airs at weekend afternoons. Normally programms like Scrubs, How I met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, and so on end up here and are always ignored everybody who isnt already fan of them through fansites. Heidi Klum is host of Germanys next topmodel and made appearance on HIMYM. They could have wonderfully used this to promote both shows. Instead they made a trailer that only got shown once and that in the commercial break of the programme directly before HIMYM... Its like they dont want to

let anybody know that they have programmes at weekend afternoons. * Now ''WarehouseThirteen'' is getting it, due to wresting overrun. ''Wrestling!!''. How the everlovin' hell does a scripted show overrun? Why is ''wrestling'' on SciFi anyway? * This troper (the same one as above, who also got up at 7:00am to watch ''Mew Mew Power''), when she was about 7 or 8 used to get up at 6:30am to watch Hello Kitty on ToonDisney. Then one day, they decided to stop showing it for whatever reason. I'm still sad about it. * When CartoonNetwork finally decided to air {{Reboot}} season 4 (guess which [[FridayNightDeathSlot day]] they only aired it) it began to rerun the first three seasons. Wonderful right? Oh no, it's aired at 5am without the opening credits (probably because they had already chopped them all off for their {{Toonami}} bumpers). * If you live in south africa like [[{{Tropers/fourteenwings}} me]], be prepared to be dissapointed in a lot of channels. Our CartoonNetwork refuses to give us [[{{Bakugan}} New Vestroia's ]] second season and I doubt we'll ever get [[{{Bakugan}} Gundalian Invaders]]we also are never getting Ben10AlienForce or [[Ben10UltimateAlien UltimateAlien.]]Our {{Animax}} also decided [[CompletelyMissingThePoint that it would be a great idea to show reality shows,]] and we only get (EDIT) '''six''' hours out of twenty five (Half or them are at midnight.) '''AND''' we only get EurekaSeven, NeonGenesisEvangelion, DeathNote and the first two arcs of {{Bleach}}, so if I want to watch any other anime, it's time to shell over for [[CrackIsCheaper imported DVDs.]] * [[{{Tropers/SAMAS}} This Troper]] Always seemed to like the shows he's now discovered the syndication networks apparently hated. Throught middle and high school (and afterwards), he's realized that his favorite animated shows were usually the ones that came on at 5:00 AM on weekdays or weekends. * [[{{Tropers/RAMChYLD}} This troper]] feels your pain. Too many of his favorite shows were screwed over by the Malaysian TV cartel that one of his madness mantras has become ''[[CrushKillDestroy Destroy NTV7]] ForGreatJustice!'' To be fair tho, although NTV7 wasn't the only one screwing over shows, they just happened to be the one who screwed over most of the shows this troper loved. * I stopped watching YTV when Jacob Two Two and Martin Mystery were cancelled. Seriously, I had no idea that new episodes of Jacob Two-Two aired after "Jacob Two Two and the Wooden Nickel Knuckleheads", and most of my friends had no idea it existed. And now they are making new episodes? After almost 5 years? Martin Mystery? I had to record it. * This troper thinks they're doing this with SpongeBobSquarePants. ** Ha. Now, [[AdoredByTheNetwork wh]][[FlatWhat at.]] * Try being in Canada, where MyLifeAsATeenageRobot got screwed over, more than once. The show debut in 2004, to good timeslots (Thursday 7PM and Friday 4:30PM), only to be removed for the summer, despite it's cult hit up here. YTV then brought the show back sometime later, [[ScrewedByTheNetwork at 8AM Sunday]]. When the second season arrived, the show got a Tuesday afternoon airing, [[KickTheDog only to be replaced by the]] [[YourMileageMayVary subpar,]] CaptainFlamingo a couple months later. Eventually, the following fall, the Third Season was about to make it's way to YTV, airing weekdays (or at least

Tuesdays to Thursdays) at 5PM. For a few weeks, it aired the third season, [[ShortRunInPeru before the American Nickelodeon got to see.]] [[YankTheDogsChain One month later, Being Ian took over all timeslots]] [[CutShort and Teenage Robot]] [[ScrewedByTheNetwork hasn't aired since...]] * This troper watched Unsolved Mysteries on Spike, but when I tried to record it,I'd sometimes end up recording CSI, because sometimes Spike would air a CSI marathon instead of Unsolved Mysteries on random days, then air the show late at night!There was no warning when they did this, no way to know that Unsolved Mysteries was airing at a different time, except for the TV guide! This troper has screamed in frustration several times because when did get a day off from school, CSI was airing instead of Unsolved Mysteries, and Unsolved Mysteries was moved to late at night! It's like Spike said, "You want to watch Unsolved Mysteries? Too bad!" * This tropette, who is too poor to have BBCAmerica, is usually frusturated by the fact that the SyFy channel has yet to air the Matt Smith episodes of Doctor Who while airing new episodes of those goddamn paranormal investigation programs. * This newbie troper lives up in Canada, and let me tell you, Teletoon and YTV screwed Chaotic and Being Ian badly. Sure, the latter cartoon came back from the dead almost instantly, but he can't get over it. Not to mention the former cartoon already being screwed over in the US, which just made it worse. I remember they put the two shows in the graveyard slot, right before the adult blocks, and I was screwing up my sleep schedule trying to watch the shows. Yeah. Not very pleasant to me. * Six words: ''OnePiece''. {{Toonami}}. April. 2008. ...****. ** If there were ten words to describe how mad this troper was when this happened, they'd probably get me banned. * This troper remembers watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch - the animated version- and the show where Mary Kate and Ashley Olson were cartoon secret agents when I was little. One day, they just stopped showing both on Toon Disney's timeslot, which really pissed me off, as they were the only cartoons that I got ''hooked'' on at the time. ---What? ScrewedByTheNetwork got moved to an early-morning timeslot with no promotion? Dammit! <<|TroperTales|>>

ScrewPolitenessImASenior * My mom's great uncle was talking to my dad's mother. This is basically what happened. --> Great Uncle: So how old are you? --> Grandma: How old do you think I am? --> Great Uncle: I dunno. 92? --> Grandma: -general sounds of insultedness--> Great Uncle: I coulda said 93! * When [[DesertDragon this editor's]] brother was heading out the door

in an 8XL white tshirt, our grandfather ragged on him in a CrowningMomentOfFunny, saying, "That damn thing's a dress! You getting married or something?" My grandmother, more innocently, asked my thenboyfriend when he picked me up one time if he had gained weight, which he's insanely self-conscious about, leading to me standing there wincing at every word. * [[{{Tropers/PunkReader}} This troper's]] grandfather ''is'' this, unfortunately. He has a foul mouth, coupled with an awful temper that goes off at any and everything (for example, he ruined one of my cousin-by-marriage's graduation parties recently by ranting and berating his mother for ''four hours'' because she said something he didn't like.) He has told me to, on various occasions (I have disabilities that either outright ''prevent'' me from doing some of these things, and other times he's simply trying to provoke me, I swear): "Sit up straight" (can't do it, physically), "speak louder" (Again, physically can't do it), "talk more" (I don't ''like'' talking to him, and when I do, he blatantly ignores me), "visit more often" (Ugh...''No.'' You're the one who wouldn't speak to us for years, remem-ber?), "don't get so hot and bothered about what [my father] did, ''we didn't know''..." (...I'm gonna kill you, old man - he actively allowed physical, verbal, and emo. tional abuse to continue, and he encouraged others to jump on the bandwagon and help my father. ''You ignored my situation completely.'' I nearly snapped on him the first time he gave me that speech, a few months ago. I'm glad he couldn't see my face from where I was sitting - my aunt said it looked "murderous"), and the one I really hate: "Why can't you be more feminine, what are you, gay?" Okay, I dislike the social construct of "femininity" in its modern use to begin with, and what it entails in terms of desires. Second, I'm bisexual, and prefer other women, so, technically ''yes, I am''. I've said nothing of this. He also drinks quite a bit, and gets crude when he does, going so far as to make molestation jokes. He was a former incestuous pedophile - not with me, but I still hate letting him even "hug" me. He also acts like he doesn't want to touch me, pariah-fashion. The really sad thing is that, when he and his wife go out to fancy restaurants with their friends, and he has a couple of glasses of wine, he starts spewing crap and getting into rows; his wife keeps ''duct tape in her pocket and puts it over his mouth '''in public''' to shut him up.'' I almost forgot to mention that he uses verbal abuse with abandon, and thinks he's always right. He also ''loves'' to complain about how much pain he's in from the asthma he refuses to manage, and the shingles he has. Well you know what, asshole, you're not the only one in pain: your grandaughter's joints dislocate on a daily basis, and she is ''constantly'' in a state of exhaustion - oh, and another thing, ''her pain never completely goes away'', yours can and does - ''so '''stop whining'''''. (I rarely complain about my pain, actually. That was a rare rant borne of extreme frustration. Enjoy it.) The man is my definition of "abominable." I really sincerely hope that no one else has a relative like this. * [[{{Morraeon}} This troper]] used to think that the stereotype image of a shrewish old lady yelling and waving her cane at the "young whippersnappers" was an exaggeration, until she started working at a

grocery store and had an 85-year old woman do just that to her. If anyone complains to her about the entitlement complexes that teenagers have, she has plenty of stories about old ladies with entitlement complexes that make the teenager whining for an iPod look like nothing. * This troper's grandmother was an example. Grandma was fond of dropping cluster F-bombs all around, hadn't much use for "please" or "thank you", and her way of correcting ANYBODY, not just this troper and her cousins, was hitting them with a wooden spoon. * This troper works as a pharmacy technician, a job which requires lots of contact with seniors, and he has definitely noticed that they tend to be ruder and less patient than younger customers. Of course, this isn't to say '''all''' seniors are jerks, just that there's a larger jerk-to-nice ratio among the elderly from what I've seen. * Slight variation, [[DragonMaster This Tropers]] Grandfather theorizes that all the old ladies are mugging people, robbing stuff, commiting vandalism and framing it on teenagers. * This troper, forced to volunteer (try not to think about that too hard) at an old folks' home, dealt with one particularly cantankerous senior by paraphrasing Winston Churchill: --> Oldster: "You're a mean one!" --> Me: "And you're OlderThanDirt. In the morning I'll be a sweetheart, while you'll be dead." * Czech grandmas. They'll kick you out of your comfy tram seat. However, since '89, they'll usually stand next to you and glare rather than actively shove their senior ID in your face. Also, do you know their policy on stealing street signs? ** No, we don't. [[NoodleIncident Please explain]]. * [[{{Tunod}} This Troper]] has actually had it explained to him in a convincing way (by a senior citizen, no less); as you get older, you slowly but surely learn to stop sugarcoating things, be upfront, and say what you mean. By the time you're a senior citizen, you're blunt but generally pretty straightforward. Thus why many senior citizens seem kind of rude, but generally good people. Now, when you combine this with an entitlement whore, ''that's'' when you get the demanding "I can do whatever I want" old people. * One of [[{{Orihime}} this troper]]'s uni professors isn't that old (only in his mid-late 50's), but he fits ''perfectly''. Us students speculate that it's because the guy has lung cancer and won't live for long, so he decided to send everything to Hell without regrets before he kicks the bucket. * While she isn't quite a senior yet, this troper's middle-aged ''cat'' is exhibiting this trope lately. The most memorable example: at 5 AM one morning, she jumped up onto the counter (which she never used to do) and purposely knocked over a cup of water so that someone would wake up and feed her. Screw Politeness indeed. ** You too? [[{{Gecko}} This troper]]'s old cat has also gotten a lot bolder about jumping on the counter and telling off the dog and not hiding from people. * This troper's mother attends a Halloween party every year that raises money for a scholarship, and sees some pretty elaborate costumes there. Once there was a big group of pharmacists who all

dressed up as old people (complete with all the necessary medical supplies) and invoked this trope ''heavily'', running people over with their walkers in order to get to the buffet table, etc. * Here's a fun thing to do in France; sit near the front of a bus in one of the seats that has a little sticker near the window. They're reserved for WWII veterans apparently, but I didn't find that out until I'd been vigorously beaten by a crazed, French octogenarian. Then it happened again, in a different city with a different woman. And again. In short: France. * This troper was just in Disneyland. Oh my ''GOD'', the seniors! Not only would we see them pushing through in line, pushing us in line for food, trying to order at the same time as other people, sometimes smacking kids with canes (yes, they actually ''did'' that) when they ran in front of them and not apologizing, running into people with those propelled carts, speaking very rudely to cast members, whining about line sizes and blaming them ''on park staff'', not saying "Excuse me", and saying some ''incredibly'' racist comments to his mother and him. (who are Caucasian) They were saying stuff like [[spoiler:"Damn beaners ruined this state, they probably jumped the fence"]], [[spoiler:"You'd think they'd serve more watermelon with all the blacks in here"]] and, [[spoiler:"Shouldn't these mexicans be clipping grass instead of standing in line?"]]. One of them even ran over my foot with a wheelchair while I was sitting on a bench, and didn't even apologize! (and two days later, I'm still limping) According to the cast members, the old people seem to think they're entitled to the park in its entirety, and wonder why the hell they have nothing better (and cheaper) to do than hanging out at the park and complaining at people. (These guys were so rude, JeffDunham's Walter would be more polite company!) ** And this troper had spent a lot of time in Arizona...where 90% of the population actually ''averted'' this trope! However in Michigan...his grandmother's neighbours pretty much half-and-half played the trope... *** You must have found one of the rare enclaves of nicer Arizonans, or maybe didn't get to know them all that well. A whole lot of people of the third age there are more like the above Disneyland patrons above, but they tend to not show it until after knowing you for a while. * My sister describes our parents' recent behavior thusly: "You've heard of the [[SpoiledBrat terrible twos]]? Our parents are thirtyfive times worse." * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] has seen this happen many times. One of the most noteworthy was when I was playing the demo of [[GuitarHero Guitar Hero II]] up at Wal-Mart, when an older man needed to get by me so he can get to the hardware department, so he proceeds to shove me out of the way without saying anything at all. * This troper's got a pretty bad one...a senior citizen at Target once came on in and then ran into me with one of those carts you ride around in. I thought it was an accident until he continued to keep on driving with it on ''full blast'', and the assmunch had me ''pinned between my cart and his'' and kept going down the aisle and pushed me into the fucking freezer. When he finally let go after nearly breaking

my nose, I said, "Sir! What were you doing that for?!" and his response? --> "You were in my way, wench!" ** "Wench"? Was he perchance [[BarbarianHero wearing a loincloth, a sword and not much else?]] *** I guess aging was not kind to Conan if he needed a cart to get around. * Not sure if this counts, but [[{{Luna87}} I]] recall taking a bus ride home, where a middle-aged woman was yelling in the back about the bus, complaining about the driver's driving, saying, "I'm 50 years old, and I don't have to take this!" over, and over again in her rant. Needless to say, I think most of the passengers were relieved when she go to her stop. * You ever been to Singapore? Try taking the MRT from 4.30 to 7pm, especially from the interchanges. I can assure you, the first ones into the trains are always the seniors. They can break the laws of physics, squeeze in through impossible gaps and plop themselves into a seat. And if they can't get a seat, there's always staring at someone until they give up their seat. And they'll smile at you for "giving up" your seat, just to be nice. * The grocery store my cousin works at (Which is right next to a large retirement community) is a cosmic nexus for these types of people. These is the kinds of stuff they do on a daily basis: ** Push people out of the way with their carts (Like that troper up there) ** Go out of their way to bump customers and workers with a cart and yell at ''them'' to get out of ''their'' way. ** Open something, begin eating it, then placing it back on the shelf and pretending to have Alzheimer's if somebody catches 'em or tells them they have to pay for that. ("Huh? Where am I?") ** Use expired coupons and attempt to hurl an entire book full of coupons at someone when there is a ''big bold sign'' reading, "Limit 5 coupons per order" on top of every register. (Which was enacted ''because'' of people who'd throw entire armfuls of coupons at them and make the store ''lose'' money.) ** Poking holes in all of the ground beef, and throwing the ones they don't want ''on the floor''. ** Using flat out offensive terms to people working there, such as calling all of our hispanics or people with hispanic last names "Beaners", "Illegals", throwing words like "Guido", "Honky", "Bitch", and "Nigger" around like candy on halloween, and calling all the males in the checkout aisle "Fags" because "That's woman's work". ** Taking up several parking spots. *** And Park in Handicap spots when they clearly ''don't'' have a Handicapped permit! **** I ''hate'' it when people do that, because [[{{Tropers/Punkreader}} this teenaged Troper]] ''does'' have one, and actually needs that space in csae her legs decide to turn to jelly and give out or so she can carry the "heavy" stuff (a gallon of milk, for this troper, qualifies as heavy because of joint weakness and the pull the thing exerts - also, she's short, and carrying the damn things (even in a basket) is hard when they drag to below your knees.) back

to the car. Granted, I don't use it much, but, still, people, come on! ** Hurling all the shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot (Meaning we have to retrieve them before a car hits them) instead of either leaving them out of the way or putting them *** And if the senior's driving a car, they come in screaming about how we "threw a cart in their way" or "Left a cart in their way" and how we'd be buying them a new car. ** Leaving those powered carts that say "In Store Use Only" outside in the rain. ** Stealing stuff ** Taking several shopping carts ''loaded'' with stuff into the express lane, then sending in complaints when they're redirected to another aisle. ** Spitting on other minorities in the store ** Spout StrawmanPolitical things. *** They sound like they're bad for business mainly because they probably cost the store more money than their shopping spends. I would ban them from the store because as a businessmen you have right to refuse service if they are doing shit like that. **** Chances are they do ban some of the people who do really bad things but they just ignore it and come in anyways - The department store has banned seniors for doing half the stuff on that list and that hasn't stopped them. * This troper works at a local drive-in that has been there for over thirty years--prime feeding grounds for cranky old people. I get to deal with a lot of this shit, but two incidents in particular stand out (and they happened one day after the other!): ** Yesterday, an old guy came in and ordered fish and chips, but with salad instead of fries, which is perfectly OK. He then felt the need to bitch to my manager about how the salad was made, the size of the fish pieces (which are cut up in the mornings; nothing he could do about it), the price, his senior discount... saying things like "is ''this'' how you intended to serve it?" and "are you leading me to believe you don't take care of seniors here?" Eventually my manager got him to go away, and the restaurant breathed a sigh of relief. ** Today, an old guy (but not that old, he was perfectly mobile) came in and ordered some fried mushrooms. Now, the restaurant has a policy where we take the names of our customers and then call them up when their food is ready. Sometimes we take food out if we know the people or if they're obviously having difficulty getting around. So I called this guy's name, several times, and then he finally came up and said, "Sorry to hear about your legs being broken!" I gave him my sweetest smile and he sat down. NEWSFLASH: IT'S FAST FOOD. IF YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR WAITRESS, YOU HAD BETTER BE PREPARED TO LEAVE ME A TIP. * This troper's mother attends a charity Halloween party every year. There are always a big group of pharmacists who come in costume; one year they dressed as old people. They ran everyone over with walkers and screamed at everyone. ** Dealing with old people is part of a pharmacist's job. Trust me on this - I had friends who worked at a Walgreen's. They said the Pharmacists had the worst job because the seniors go ''right'' to them, even though dealing with seniors is part of Walgreen's. And even

when they worked at the hospital, it was ''just'' as bad. * My best friend lives across the street from an old peoples home, and they are always being rude to the neighbours and complaining about every little noise. They act like shes the worst neighbour ever cause of the WildTeenParty that happened one night, and only one night, its not as if we are doing it every night, and also always complain that one of the neighbours kids play on the street, even though the houses dont have gardens, so theres nowhere for the kids to play. They dont even make that much noise. * The local department store is a cosmic nexus of this trope. One time I witnessed in horror a senior came and said "I'M LOOKING FOR SOME CLOTHES" and went to a clothing display and literally unfolded ''EVERY SHIRT'' that the employee was folding and threw them into a pile on the floor. It must have taken an ''hour'' to do all that, you witch! Then another time I'm inside a changing room and a woman somehow opens it up (Yes, you read right...there's clearly something wrong if she could open it up) and screeches at me. Then an old man poked me in the ass with his cane, another pushed me out of the way with a cart.... * This troper's great-grandmoter was the epitome of this trope. Whenever she would meet her grandchildren's prospective romantic partners, she would outright tell them she didn't like them. The first time this troper's father ever met her, the troper's mother said, "She's not gonna like you," to which he said, "I haven't even done anything", and the troper's mother replied, "Doesn't matter." When they divorced, she turned to the troper's mother and said, "Told you. You gonna listen to your grandma from now on?" * This troper would invoke this trope, not as an old person type of senior, but as a senior in High School. Although this troper's dislike for freshman was mostly for show. * This troper works at a hardware store and while I was still new at it, I was serving an old guy at the cash register. He wanted to charge his purchase to his account, but I hadn't heard him say that. After I told him his total he said "You don't listen very well, do you?" I very nearly chose to rebound his rudeness on him, but decided not to. * This troper's late grandmother was what is colloquially referred to as a "firecracker" or a "sparkplug," which is basically code for "awful person." She smoked in movie theaters, was flamboyantly racist, and often actually hit door-to-door salesmen and Jehovah's Witnesses with her cane for coming to her door. She was also known to demand her family members to do things for her while they were otherwise occupied. Tell her you were busy, and she'd retort "Well, stick a broom up your ass and sweep the floor while you're at it!" On the bright side, this troper has since adopted that phrase as a catchall response for people who try to slough their work off on me, and it's pretty effective... * [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] would like to say: You can bet, once I turn 60, I will ''so'' be screwing with people. 47 more years to go... * This troper enjoys going to plays at a community theater and has noticed a remarkable tendency for senior audience members to talk at full volume during the show, leave walkers blocking the stage (even if they're not sitting near the stage), and sit down in whichever seat

they want despite the seats being reserved and refuse under any circumstances to go to their own seats. * This troper's grandmother will often comment loudly on those around her. For example, we were walking down the street and she said, certainly within earshot of the man she was referring to, "God, isn't he ugly? Face like a dog." Even when she was in her sixties, the first thing she said upon meeting this troper's (Jewish) mother was "Oh, your nose isn't ''that'' big." * This troper's grandmother is an inversion. She is always polite and outgoing, to the point where her politeness is more annoying than it would be if she were rude. * My grandparents had a GranolaGirl neighbour when they lived in Arizona, even when she was in her 60s and was always "Oh my god I didn't get my 5 veggies!" and refused to eat anything she deemed "unhealthy". After a barbeque gathering where she refused to eat any meat because she already had her 3 meat servings and only had a couple bites of watermelon. They basically just said, "Healthy eating is nice and all, but you're only delaying the inevitable." * Standing in line at a store, at the only open register (Like five minutes after the store opened, just nobody else there yet), this old woman is arguing over the cashier over whether one can of tuna should be 33 or 34 cents when they're three for a dollar. I finally got tired of her shrieking and put a nickel on the counter and said 'There, you're covered for the next five. Can we get on with our lives now?' She [[DeathGlare glared]] at me and stomped out. The (Very long by now) line applauded, and the cashier thanked me and said that she did that pretty much every day. * Working in a hospital will net you a daily share of it. The hallways can be particularly busy, yet it doesn't prevent them from strolling at full-speed in a powered cart. Also had a case where an old lady spent at least 5 minutes ranting about how she had to open a case before getting a check-up (For patient history and all that if it's the first visit at the hospital. Also, the check-up was at an internal clinic, not the ER.) Cue the following line: [[{{Ptitletzsppi6i}} I'm an IT technician, not a doctor]]. ---Get off my lawn and go back to [[ScrewPolitenessIAmASenior Screw Politeness, I'm A Senior]] you damn kids!!! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful * TruthInTelevision. The overly attractive perfects/student leaders in ThisTroper's class would pawn all their responsibilities off to spineless nice guys and would leave class early pretty much every time and claim they were doing the work they were supposed to. They were completely shocked when they asked ThisTroper to do something, and I replied, "Do it yourselves, you lazy pricks." ** I applaud you, sir/madame! I swear, the people at my school are just like that.

* To this troper's annoyance people seem to be willing to think looks make up for personality and character. So somebody's a bitch but hey they're hot. * From about ages thirteen through sixteen, this troper went through a phase where she thought she was God's gift to humanity. This trope was basically her mantra. Thank Bob she got over it, and is now a lot less conceited. * This troper is a subversion, or maybe a play on it. People do bend the rules for her regularly and are too helpful, although it seems to more a case of Screw The Rules, I'm Woobiful / Adorkable/ SlightlyCrazyAwesome/ CharmingInAChildLikeWay, rather than beautiful. As the saying goes:When you smile the world smiles with you, when you cry the world hugs you and gives you hot chocolate, and when you ask really really nicely, possibly with a trembling lip or hopeful eyes, then the world gives you stuff. * See [[http://notalwaysright.com/snobbery-just-wont-cut-it/11953 HERE]] for a truly delicious example. ---You can click the [[ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful link back to the main page.]] I know it's my job, but I'm too beautiful for a boring job like that. You do it. ----

Scribblenauts '''Note to tropers: please keep examples from ''Super Scribblenauts'' in the Super Scribblenauts list; separating them helps to avoid confusion for players who only have the first game, and are trying to recreate examples of things you can only do in the second.''' -'''''General''''' * I would like to start the Grand List of Words ''Scribblenauts'' Doesn't Recognize. I'll start with words mentioned so far on this page, but feel free to add more. Also note that any word you add to the list must follow the in-game rules for words, even though some of the in-game words don't. ** Quasar ** Tarasque (also put in Tarrasque for the people who only know about it from D&D) *** Isn't this trademarked? In which case of course it isn't going to be recognised. ** Hacker *** It's in the sequel. ** Penanggalan ** Bagpipes *** No, bag''pipe'' works and summons that. *** most plurals work to summon singular objects. A plural that is sometimes used to refer to the singular should definitely be in.

*** It works in Super Scribblenauts, though. ** Trowel *** It's in the sequel, too. ** Cuisse (Leg armor) ** Zorilla (Skunk-like animal) ** Greaves (Armored boots) *** In the sequel. ** Spinosaurus *** Also in the sequel. ** Utahraptor ** An Afro wig. *** It's in the sequel. ** Restraining order ** Paradichlorobenzene ** Neodymium ** Protactinium *** These are the only names in the entire periodic table that the game doesn't cover (though many of them look alike) **** Protactinium works in Super Scribblenauts; neodymium is still out, though. ** Smilodon (I'm puzzled about how one of the most famous prehistoric animals got left out of the game! "sabre-toothed tiger" summons a normal tiger.) *** Smilodon is in Super Scribblenauts ** Net gun (it summons a normal gun, causing me to shoot the butterfly that I was supposed to catch and fail a mission) ** Sandstorm *** It's in Super Scribblenauts. ** Landslide ** Satin ** [[strike:Muramasa]] It's a proper name (e.g. the Japanese swordsmith Muramasa Sengo). ** Inmate ** Sleuth ** Adulterer (does this count?) ** Centurion *** It works in Super Scribblenauts. ** Pleather ** Molotov. It's a Russian proper name (e.g. Vyacheslav Molotov). *** "Gas bomb" makes a Molotov, though. *** Actually, molotov cocktail works fine. ** Treant (Although It is going to be in the sequel) *** In one level of the sequel you make weapons for a guy who fights treants. Fire works great. ** Aorta ** Anomalocaris ;_; *** It works in the sequel, though. Yay! ** Wiwaxia ** Hemlock ** Typhoon ** Spotted Dick (it summons a detective) *** In the sequel, a ''spotted'' detective.

** Tiki. Of all the words they put in, they forgot to add Tiki. That's...... no. ** Lexicon. It makes trying to summon Zexion rather difficult. ** Brunch ** Sonic Screwdriver. Arguably it works and gives you Jackson Lake's version, which was...an ordinary screwdriver. *** In ''Super Scribblenauts'', it gives you a ''sentient'' screwdriver, as "sonic" is recognized as an adjective. Still not one's intended idea of a "sonic screwdriver", though... ** Hedjet ** Pollen. Even though some levels have bees in them. ** Canvey Island Monster ** Giant Ground Sloth ** Megatherium ** Wooly Rhino ** Flying Spaghetti Monster ** Beatnik ** Furry ** Growth ray *** In the sequel, of course. ** Any nationality. ** Chevrotain (or mouse deer) ** Autoharp ** Seltzer ** British terms (They probably work in the British version, but don't in US Super Scribblenauts, for some stupid reason): *** Lorry (Truck) *** Fag (Cigarette) *** Knickers (Panties) ** Semiconductor ** Meteoroid ** Pyromancer * And I'd like to start the grand list of adjectives not recognized or not recognized properly by ''Super Scribblenauts''. ** Rogue ** Rouge (Red) ** Black, White (in the context of race. Gets a literally black or white person) ** Stuffed (in the context of "Stuffed Bell Pepper", it gives you a Bell Pepper stuffed for cotton) ** Anarchist (Works as a noun, though) * Finally, the incorrectly categorized list: ** A Griffin doesn't count as an animal. ** Cyborgs don't count as humans. * Grand List of Words ''Super Scribblenauts'' Doesn't Recognize (includes words that also weren't recognized in the first game and continue not to be recognized in the second one): ** Glyptodon ** Indricotherium ** Easmotherium ** Utahraptor ** Sivatherium

** Mother Goat (Flying Goatheaded Man, that could be summoned in the first game, but for some reason not in the second) ** Trilobite ** Horseshoe Crab ** Chuck Norris ** Flying Spaghetti Monster ** Thunderbird ** It has Odin, but it doesn't have Gungnir ** Pope ** Mitre (the NiceHat sported by Catholic bishops; [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitre take a look]]) ** Autoharp ** Beatnik ** Seltzer ** Suet

'''''Scribblenauts''''' * MirageKnuckler just played level 1-10, in which you have to protect food from ants without killing them. I picked the food (a sandwich) and ran. STARITE GET! * This troper rode a motorcycle on top of the heads of a horde of zombies. What other games let you do that? * This troper discovered that a groom will only eat the fried chicken when his wife is not around. This also applies to other couples, such as wizard and enchantress. I guess girls don't want their guys to get fat. * Try glueing a steel spike to a staff, glueing that to a car, and glueing an anvil to the other side. Ladies and gentlemen, the Shitstorm-o-Tron. * Typing in "thing", "contraption", "this", or "that" spawns a Swiss Army Knife. "device" makes a razor, I think. "object" makes a pole. "stuff" makes an INVISIBILITY CLOAK. WHICH MAKES YOU INVISIBLE. AWESOME. ** Typing in "something" makes... well... ''something'' appear, which I don't know if it's meant to be a beach ball or a fire ball. I tend towards the former, since it can be caught. *** It has the same sprite as "tumor." * This troper was on the 6-3 puzzle stage, and the hint box told me to "Do 2 things at the wedding" so I rode Cthulhu and ran over the bride, apparently, that wasn't what it had in mind... ** OP: Now I summoned a treadmill and had Maxwell ride it, the treadmill was tilted a bit, and when Maxwell got on, IT FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR. ** I solved it by summoning excalibur and attacking the car. This got me the starite... I still don't get that level * This Troper's father induced the following incidents: ** He tapped on Heaven and God popped out. He then summons a shovel to dig through the dirt below him. God then steals his shovel, so what does he do? Makes a shotgun and tries to kill God to get his shovel back of course!

** In a custom level I made, you had to rescue a cat from a storm so the little girl will give you the Starite. My father then proceeds to shoot the girl, grabs the starite, and I follow up with: "You killed a girl for a gold star?!" We then laughed our guts out. * [[Tropers/{{Harold_fist}} This Troper]] had created this: a BABY wearing a ARMY HELMET riding a ELEPHANT wearing a SADDLE and TOP HAT wielding a SWORD. make the ENTIRE THING hostile to you. ** Extra fun if you repeat the above combination, only with a COWBOY holding a REVOLVER, wearing SUNGLASSES, CLOAK, and some BOOTS. it instantly changes from cute to AWESOME. ** It is worth noting that if you use the level editor to make the BABY wearing an ARMY HELMET hostile to you, it is almost unkillable. ** if you are feeling really lucky, replace elephant with Cthulhu. * Magnets are incredibly weird. whenever this Troper spawns magnets near something metal, they fly together, start bouncing around the screen, and occasionally explode. * How to make anything fly: glue a propeller to it. the object will zoom forward in the direction of the propeller. I personally enjoy flying unicycles. * This troper's brother discovered that if you make a raptor docile, ride it, then glue a pterodactyl to it, it makes a glitch and you can fly superfast through walls. * for some reason, gluing lots of things together occasionally makes the whole agglomeration fall through the floor. HOW!? * Knowzall created this vehicle which is awesome!! It's a mech with a super gun glued on top and a rope attached to another side so you can climb up on the other side there's a tractor beam glued on and awesomely enough there's a gorgon glued on the end of it.and to control it all even through the air there's a space ship on top i attached a vine to the wheel so you can climb up to the ship and pilot it. * [[Tropers/{{CecilTwig}} This new troper]] will never forget when he glued a spear to a space shuttle and used it to kill dragons, Cthulhu and even GOD. Yeah, I RAMMED A SPACE SHUTTLE INTO GOD AND KILLED HIM. * This troper was on a level where you were supposed to rescue a penguin on an iceberg by bringing it to its fellow penguins across a stretch of ocean. There was a killer whale which you weren't allowed to hurt. Deciding that it was boring using helicopters and rope, he attached the penguin to the iceberg with rope, and the iceberg to a UFO with a pair of handcuffs and AIRLIFTED THE ENTIRE ICEBERG AND BROUGHT IT TO THE PENGUINS. * This troper created the best vehicle ever. Place a pole horizontally on the ground, and have Maxwell handcuffed to it so that he's standing on it. Then glue a magnet to one end of the pole. Your camera will struggle to catch up. * This troper placed a baby inside a car and glued an ICBM to it, sending baby and car flying into a pool infested with sharks. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensued.]] ** That just made me laugh. Really hard. Virtual high-five to you. * This troper successfully tamed a T. Rex...by feeding it kittens. ** Meanwhile, [[Tropers/{{onyhow}} this troper]] tamed a cheetah with...a bottle of acid.

* It's apparently possible to '''give Cupid a raygun''' and make him fight off zombies. ** you can also give a priest a flamethrower and have him fight Cthulhu. [[spoiler:THE PRIEST WINS!!!!]] * Nuke: AwesomeYetImpractical? After all, it kills everything onscreen, including Maxwell, right? Ah, but I think not! [[spoiler: B-OM-B S-H-E-L-T-E-R.]] Voila. ** Tropers/{{Excel-2009}}. Wrong. *** This is TruthInTelevision, actually. Nukes will easily vaporize bomb shelters near the point of impact. Even 50's science-based Fallout games put their bomb shelters under mountains. *** For some reason, bomb shelter will protect you from black hole, though (but not tsunami). ** Anyone try putting him in the [[spoiler: H-A-Z-M-A-T-S-U-I-T?]] I'm wondering if that could defend against a nuke. *** I find it foolish to even assume that would work where the SHELTER failed. Still, no. *** I had Maxwell wear a Hazmat Suit and Helm in a Bomb Shelter and the Nuke ''still'' cut through it. **** I had Maxwell wear a Hazmat Suit and space helmet in a big bomb shelter, and encaged the nuke with walls on the other side of the level. STILL, DIDN'T WORK! ** Nukes have a... limited usage. If a stage requires one to kill/destroy everything there, and you position Maxwell so that a Starite will spawn right on him, it's possible for him to grab it right after the nuke finishes the stages condition, and do the victory dance, presumably moments before he dies from radiation poisoning. But you'll still pass... sometimes. In other cases he'd just dance and croak. * This troper sacrificed his word limit to try [[ToyStory "Death By Monkeys"]], along with a liberal amount of earth-magic and a gameplaced pit. * Tropers/{{Excel-2009}}. Oddities I have encountered: ** Two police officers equipped with batons fighting over a donut that I gave to one of them. ** A sniper destroyed another with two shots: one to the head and another to his rifle. ** No one will die if given poison, which they invariably ingest on their own. ** [[RockPaperScissors Enough strikes from a pair of scissors will destroy the largest rock.]] Does this qualify as a subversion? *** The largest rock, the Huge Boulder, is invincible as far as I can tell. I aimed a chaingun at it, then hopped in a fighter and fired at it for ten minutes, and it didn't break. How long did it take you with those dinky scissors? *** No, because ANY sharp object would do the same, I assume. ** According to [[TheZombieSurvivalGuide Max Brooks]], zombies do not know how to operate rocket launchers. [[BlatantLies Oh how wrong he is.]] ** The Beekeeper is afraid of bees (and gets killed by them). [[FlatWhat Wut]]. * This troper has been doing a series of Pirate vs Ninja experiments.

** Pirate vs Ninja normal: [[spoiler:Pirate wins]] ** Put both on A pirate ship: [[spoiler:Ninja wins]] ** Give Ninja a flame sword: [[spoiler:Ninja wins]] ** Give Ninja a chainsaw: [[spoiler:Pirate wins]] ** Give Ninja a flamethrower: [[spoiler:Nothing happens]] ** Give them each a tank: [[spoiler:Nothing happens]] ** Make them both ride pterodactyls: [[spoiler:It seems to vary - the three times I did it, the pirate won twice and the ninja won once.]] ** Put both in the pit: [[spoiler:Pirate wins]] ** Shrink both of them: [[spoiler:Pirate wins]] ** Put both on A trampoline: [[spoiler:Pirate wins. Very quickly.]] ** Put ninja in a tank and put pirate next to the tank. [[spoiler:The pirate destroys the tank and kills the ninja USING ONLY HIS SWORD]] *** So would that make him [[spoiler:[[FullMetalAlchemist Wrath?]]]] * This troper accidentally released a ghost from coffin, so he try to contain it with [[{{Ghostbusters}} Proton pack]]. [[spoiler:It doesn't work...WHY???]] ** The ghost in the coffin is just too damn strong. It'll destroy the gun before you have the chance to kill it. It does work on friendly ghosts, though (just type in "ghost" or "soul"). ** This troper had no problem destroying said ghost. * This troper's favorite weapon is a [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome fork]], which he dubbed The Fork of Power. ** Don't you mean the [[LookingForGroup Fork of Truth]]? ** I think he's talking about the [[WindWaker Triumph Fork]]. ** What about the [[ElderScrolls Fork of Horripulation]]? * This Troper [[DeadBabyComedy killed a baby]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome with a rocket launcher]]. [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential While the baby's mother watched.]] (And This Troper is normally the kind of guy who [[spoiler: will obey traffic laws in GrandTheftAutoIV.]] ** Hell, you call that sadistic? [[Tropers/{{Uerian}} This troper]] dressed Maxwell in ceremonial robes, gave him the [[TomeOfEldritchLore Necronomicon]], and proceeded to sacrifice children and babies to [[HPLovecraft C'thulhu]] as their mother watched, trapped. As soon as I reached so many children sacrificed that it seemed unlikely the mother would've had any more, I trap another mother and feed ''her'' kids to C'thulhu. [[spoiler:This troper also does everything in his power to keep his Pocket God island inhabitants alive, killing them only when necessary.]] *** [[Tropers/{{Etheru}} ...]] MoralEventHorizon, much? **** I might be over the horizon. It depends on which square of the hopscotch grid I'm in. C'thulhu was pleased, by the way. ***** Feh. I can beat you. I shot the bully on one level with a shotgun, effectively killing him. Then I got the kid the candy, and intending to give her indigestion, bought a lot more candy. ****** That's like giving the children sweet candy compared to what i did. Once I shrunk a kid and glue him to a fly while his mom watched then i turned her other kid into a frog and fed the fly to it then I used the book of the dead, turned the frog kid into a skeleton warrior and had him kill his baby bro and then I took that warrior and surrounded him with giant enemy crabs. and finally I dropped the mom

into a volcano while dropping safes on her. Beat that! ******* I rickrolled God. ******** You win. ********* I killed Satan with a FORK! ********** [[@/AwesomeZombie22 This Troper]] put two puddles of Kerosene, the ashes of a Vampire, and a baby in a barrel. She then summoned a pyromaniac to set the thing on fire, hoping for the grizzliest death ever. She was disappointed that his matches didn't make the thing explode, so she just summoned a fire and roasted the barrel over it. What really got her surprised was that when the barrel exploded, [[InfantImmortality THE BABY WASN'T DEAD.]] I just let the pyromaniac burn it. Most disappointing botched murder ever. * This Troper was doing Puzzle Level 2-2 (where the hint is simply "Trick or Treat!", and you have to give candy to some kids apparently). Not sure what to do, he picked up the jack-o-lantern bucket (thinking it had the candy in it) and then, intending to give the bowl of candy to her, clicked on one of the kids, causing Maxwell to ''fling it at said kid.'' Naturally, the kid started crying, and then the Starite appeared, as if to say "Level complete. YouBastard." ** This troper got a starite from that level by ''summoning Cthulhu and it killing the kids. [[FlatWhat What]].'' *** ''Trick'' or Treat **** Holy shit, killing kids with evil gods counts as a trick? I've been doing Halloween all wrong... ** This troper just fed the kids arsenic. (For some reason, [[GoodBadBugs all humanoid NPCs ''love'' arsenic]].) ** The trick-or-treat level can be beaten by either giving the kids candy or by scaring them all. Thus, summoning Cthulhu, the boogeyman, etc. works quite well there. ** This troper was quite upset when he found out that giving the kids a rock, a la Charlie Brown didn't complete the mission. * Tropers/{{Darkurai}}: We all know about the Cthulhu vs. God fight, right? Well, This Troper played that level, and used "God", "Cthulhu", and "Flamethrower". God burned down the tree (and was promptly defeated), and the level ended. * [[Tropers/WildKnight I]] typed in "drill" and ended up with a small hand power drill - I was hoping for a larger one with which to drill through the ground. Frustrated, I typed in [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann "drill that will pierce the heavens"]]. Predictably, I didn't get anything that actually referenced that series...but I did get the Pearly Gates. Surprised, I picked up my measly little hand-drill and poked it. After three or four pokes, ''the Pearly Gates broke'' and God popped out. ''I broke Heaven with a drill.'' ** ''Yours was the drill that pierced the heavens!'' ** If you created the gates like that, then yours was the drill that creates the heavens. *** And thus [[FridgeBrilliance I ended up referencing the series after all...]] *** [[Tropers/QuantumToast I]]'ve destroyed a mecha with a drill (after trying to just give it the drill, which didn't work), but I think yours tops that. * Quoth [[Tropers/KillerClowns This Troper]]: "I have learned from

Scribblenauts that there are very few problems in the multiverse that cannot be solved with the proper application of [[strike:pterodactyls]] rocs, singularities, freeze rays, the Necronomicon, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and]] [[BoringButPractical rope]]." I always experiment for maximum Ollars, but those things are, in the words of my roommate, "everything a growing boy needs!" ** Oh, and glue. Like that time I got the starite to come to me by gluing the starite to a bat and guiding it through the level with a bat. ** On a more AwesomeButImpractical note: Acrobats can be stacked on top of each other, to create a tower of acrobats. You can then climb atop it. It must be seen to be believed. *** You can also put a Panda riding on a Panda riding on a Panda riding on a Panda until the objects reach the limit, it become some type of Katamari and you can still ride it. Feed it a bamboo and amuse yourself. *** Thank you, I just did this and I laughed until I cried. *** And gorillas, etc. ** Summoning a lance creates a disappointingly ordinary weapon, used by Maxwell [[SliceAndDiceSwordsmanship as per any other weapon]]. Summoning a staff, then gluing a "[[SpikesOfDoom Steel Spike]]" (don't forget the steel part; only inputting "spike" generates a thumbtack), creates a weapon which deals CollisionDamage to your opponents, allowing you to charge enemies on [[strike:horseback]] [[EverythingsBetterWithDinosaurs velociraptorback]] and attack them without stopping your charge. Just don't try to actually ''walk'' with this thing; you'll be wanting a pair of skates on your feet should you end up dismounted from your [[strike:horse]] velociraptor. Just one word of advice: to dismount, pick up and move your ride of choice somewhere. If you simply hop off, your CollisionDamage lance will damage whatever you were riding, turning it hostile at minimum. *** I think the lance is cool. *** With that same logic, how about you glue chainsaws to a stock car? **** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Chainsaws don't do collision damage.]] *** This troper glued the spike to a [[MST3K forklift.]] ** There is no [[TheSlenderManMythos Slender Man]]; typing it ignores the "slender" and gives you a standard-issue "man". This may be for the best. * A level required getting a swimmer into a pool. I summoned Cthulu and it scared her into the pool. ** This troper also tried gluing buttered toast to a cat. [[spoiler: It didn't work.]] *** Obviously, the glue works fine. But not the toast or cat. *** You were doing it wrong. Attach Tape to Toast, and then hold the tapey toast and Use it on a Cat. See what happens. ** This troper went on a more practical approach. He summoned a black hole near enough to pull her but not kill her. She was in the water in no time! ** This troper tried to lure her into the pool by summoning a drowner. The game doesn't know the word "drowner", sadly. ** This troper just typed in GUN and started shooting at her. She

freaked out and jumped in the pool. STARITE GET ** [[Tropers/LoveIsWeird This troperette]] did something that satisfied her bondage tendencies: She attached a rope to her, jumped in the water, attached the rope to herself and started pulling. I GOT THE STARITE! * Talking about Cthulhu, did you know that, if you shoot him with the Mind Control Device, you can ''ride him''? Yes, you heard me right. ''You can ride on top of Cthulhu''. It doesn't get more awesome than that, people. ** Summon paint brush. Ride ''pink'' Cthulhu. * This troper managed to kill a robot dinosaur ''without even touching it''. By gluing an air vent to a flying car, he juggled the robosaur out of the atmosphere until he popped out of existence. * This troper tried pitching things to fight inside a pool, and one of them was God versus Dracula. Totally expected God to come up on top, but what happened instead was that God gets turned into a zombie. So I tried it with Satan after moving them away, reasoning that he's pretty much the top guy and so wont get turned. Well, he died, twice... ** So the greatest force in the universe is Dracula? I wonder what this means for the {{Castlevania}} series... *** Dracula just has infinite health, so you can't kill him just by attack him with the wrath of God. He's not terribly dangerous aside from that; here comes the Sun! * After defeating a round with God as a protector (and, uh, accidentally slaying God repeatedly by dropping electrical items into the pond where he was fighting the evil fish), I decided that my warrior for the next round would be an avenging angel. The angel spawns and immediately ''runs in cowering terror'' from a '''bee'''. The bee, for its part, chased the angel down with psychopathic glee, eventually slaughtering it in a flurry of stings. ** This troper figured that he could summon a beekeeper to take care of the bee. No such luck. The beekeeper also ran in terror, until he got stung to death. ** Also, learn from my mistakes: Burning Man spawns ''hostile''. ** I tried to fly past a policeman on a roc. The policeman shot me off the roc, leapt on, and chased me across the level firing away. ** Wake a person up? '''Bombs''' aren't noisy enough? I'll just [[MoralEventHorizon set a baby on fire]]. (It worked.) ** Curious to see the interaction, I summoned a king, a queen, a prince, a princess, and a knight. Then a dragon. The knight and the dragon immediately started fighting, and after its victory the dragon killed everyone else... except the princess. Beautiful. ** I gave an atheist a cross. He attacked God. [[FridgeBrilliance Then I realized this was incredible.]] *** Actually, an atheist will attack God with any kind of weapon it can find, and [[NoodleImplements the cross counts as a weapon.]] (I guess Jesus mean it when he said he came to bring "not peace, but a sword" to the world...) Still rather brilliant, though now accidentally. And I say that as a devout Christian. **** Crosses were originally weapons. You remember the parted where they nailed Jesus to one, right? Though admittedly they didn't hit him over the head with it...

*** [[Tropers/{{Nyperold}} I]] just summoned a few GODs, then an ATHEIST. Then I equipped him with a SHRINK RAY. Okay, technically, it took a few tries to make it happen, but when I was done, I had... [[{{Discworld}} small gods]]. **** [[RimShot *ba dum tsh*]] * [[Tropers/SpaceJawa This Troper]] was disappointed when I was unable to summon a Hacker to go along with the Computer I created (Am I spelling it wrong, or [[HowDidWeMissThisOne is it really not in the game]]?. Things I HAVE summoned, however, include a Particle Accelerator which yielded a black hole when I interacted with it (someone apparently has a controversial piece of scientific equipment on the brain), and multiple evil Maxwells who I watched and laughed at as they continually yoinked objects away from one another. [[KillerApp This is game that pushed me to buy a DS(i)]], and even less than 24 hours later, I've yet to regret it. ** Yes. There is a LARGE HADRON COLLIDER in the game. * Tropers/{{Joysweeper}}: There's an underwater mission where you rescue allies and have to kill various enemies. It's fun to make Cthulu rise from the deeps and slaughter all your foes - the one in the submarine who fired off torpedoes and missed every time is the most memorable - only to be killed by a single mine, but I have to say, I like using Leviathan and the Krakken better. ... Also, I've heard people say that you can tame carnivores using meat. How do you do that? Maxwell just gets mauled to death. ** You have to summon the animals ''away'' from you. ** Chloroform works faster...or the aforementioned Mind Control Device * [[Tropers/{{Aryn}} This Troper]] was greatly surprised when solving Action 4-1. In need of something particularly indestructible, she soon found that [[spoiler:Adamantium]] is in the word list. * '''Step one''': Dig a large cave, as deep as you can and with a tiny opening. Fly out. '''Step two''': Add a demon or two. Give 'em pitchforks, torches, any weapon will do. Maybe summon a moon, for atmosphere. '''Step three''': Drop a priest or two in and watch them languish in Hell ''forever''. [[SoundtrackDissonance All while bright, cheerful music plays in the background]]. ** Did this, DEMON, SATAN and DEVIL equipped with, respectively, FLAME SWORD, PITCHFORK, LASER SWORD, but then that got boring, so I dropped in GOD, he killed all three in two seconds. * Upon reading that the Godmother turns weapons into roses, this troper experimented a bit, and learned that not only does the effect have limited range, but it works on projectiles as well. Summon a chaingun, which fires infinitely, and...incidentally, the extra roses don't add to the item limit. ** They also instantly turn Nukes into roses. [[WellIntentionedExtremist And set off the nuke...]] * Give a Shark a Laser Gun to create a monster that can K.O. anything, including God on a Pegasus with a DPSS and a Helmet. ** I took my Laser-Shark (this is above poster) and glued a chainsaw to the laser and then put a top hat on his head. Good times~ ** So apparently you, too can have [[AustinPowers "sharks with frikkin laser beams attached to their heads"]]. *** They can actually equip any type of gun, but the laser is most

appropriate. * You can use a spine as a weapon. For seriously. * In the title screen, you can kill Cthulu with a freaking CROWBAR if you hit him enough. Also: Robot Zombie vs T-Rex. The T-Rex wins. ** It's even better: Robot Zombie (summoned by the word F-E-E-P) vs regular zombie. The regular zombie wins. ** You can kill Cthulu with anything. My favorite time when he was around was when I sicked an Atheist on him equiped with a DPSS and riding a whale. * Gave a vampire a sniper rifle and sunglasses, resulting in an unstoppable monster which proceeded to slaughter several gods, cthulu, a dragon, a mummy, and a guy named Dave. It then ''broke through the stone walls I had trapped it behind and went after me.'' ** This post prompted me to do the same thing, only repeatedly summoning portals and seeing what came out of them. Badass Sniper Vampire mowed through a monster, three deaths, at least four C'thulus, a Griffin, some weird green giraffe thing, and a behemoth. *** Did the exact same thing for the lulz and found this: a portal summoned a green slime monster. The badass sniper vampire and goo creature are still battling it out as I type this... *** I pit Badass Sniper Vampire against Longcat. Thirty minutes ago. They're still going at it. *** Just to let you guys know, the vampire is completely indestructible to everything except stakes, garlic, holy water, and sunlight. The goo monster (blob) is also indestructible to everything but fire, explosions, and being eaten. I haven't found longcat's weakness yet. *** Longcat can be eaten by dragons, but not Edison. Speaking of Ed, he's not actually coded as hostile to anything; he's coded to consider most [=NPCs=] food. If he actually becomes hostile to anything (i.e. you drop a spike on his head) he ''fires plasma blasts from his hands.'' Awesome, no? **** I found out Edison can be beaten by a regular T-rex. Sad but true. * Nothing too hilarious in interactions yet, but there was the time on the title screen I had Maxwell dressed in a bikini and wizard's hat, wielding Excalibur, with a catbird as his animal friend and sidekick. also, I accidentally summoned a Leprechaun once. ** Update: 'slave' apparently gets you a butler. *** More updates: *** Step 1: Summon a Soccer Player. (Typing in player summons a soccer player on its own.) Step two: summon a referee. (May not be necessary.) Step 3: Summon a soccer ball. Either give it to the player, or set it on the ground and watch the player run and grab it. Step 4: Summon a goal. Result: Soccer player becomes hostile and attacks you. *** Once, I summoned God and a sheep. Then I had a God ride the sheep. Then I chuckled upon realizing that [[IncrediblyLamePun that was the Lamb Of God]]. Then I gave God a [[IncendiaryExponent Flaming Sword, or Flamberge.]] I thought it would be Bilblically appropriate. However I failed to realize that sheeps are scared of fire. Result: infinite reaction where ''God cannot control the sheep he rides on as it

continually runs away from a target that is right on top of it.'' **** As a side note to the whole affair, you can summon any kind of food and God will ignore it...unless you summon Ambrosia. YES. *** As a test, I summoned the "Certified Public Accountant" mentioned on the main page. Then I summoned money. leaving the bill on the ground make the accountant like me and want to defend me. Picking up the money ''caused it to attack me!'' *** Umpire is attracted to vaccine. Considering that umpires are those who make sure rules are followed in baseball and ivestigate whenever they are not, and [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar considering what steroids are when you think about it...]] *** Santa onsccreen gives anyone nearby presents, this you probably know. However, if you give Santa a present in return to say thanks, he'll give you even more!...and try to eat the gift. Odd... **** Cookies, good man. Think about it. **** There's a level in the game where it tells you to spawn something Santa would like, but he doesn't already have on-screen. This troper typed in MRS. CLAUS, and she got the Starite. [[{{Squee}} D'aw.]] *** King protects Queen, Prince protects princess. D'aw... *** A Dark Knight with a regular sword easily beats a Knight with Excalibur. *** Though they do not actually interact with each other, due to their animations, it often looks like a Martian and an Astronaut will wave to each other. *** If a living being eats three objects in quick succession, they will fall asleep. This is especially amusing when a Ninja falls asleep after eating a lollipop, a taco, and a bag of sugar. *** If you summon an Oil Lamp and select it, the option 'empty' comes up. If you choose this option you get a Genie. Interacting with the Genie gets you some kind of valuable gem, after which it dies. The Genie, not the gem... **** Really? Last time I got a genie, it tried to ''kill me''. The hell was his problem? *** If you summon Excalibur a distance away from where a princess is being attacked, and then put a Knight approximately between them, the Knight will be forced to make a moral decision between honor and glory. At least when I did this, he chose honor...[[DiabolusExMachina but it was too late, as the princess died just as he got there.]] *** Normally, superheroes protect you and all other non-hostiles. However, they will attack ''anyone'' holding a weapon. *** Relating back to the soccer player, he is apparently terrified of either referees or baseballs, one of which the ref was holding. *** Nope, soccer players just aggressively protect goals. **** You're probably right about him protecting goals aggresively and the soccer ball and ref not having anything to do with it...[[RuleOfFunny but my version's funnier.]] *** [[Tropers/AndyLA This Troper]] found out that nature beats pop culture. I summoned a roadrunner, then a coyote. [[TeamRocketWins The coyote went up and killed the roadrunner]]. *** In stage 3-11, puzzle, I attempted to airlift a Patient to a Hospital in order to get a Starite. It worked...except that the Starite spawned directly on top of the Helicopter I was driving,

thereby being blown off-screen and out of reality, causing me to lose the level. **** Same level: managed to get the patient on top of the hospital, where they refused to come down. Typed in food, but they weren't attracted. Typed in vaccine, but they still weren't attracted. However, the surgeon outside the hospital ''was'' and readily dashed towards it, apparently getting close enough to complete the level for me. Huzzah! *** If electricity strikes Maxwell, there is apparently an imperceptible frame, discovered by me by accident when spawning an object, where Maxwell's eyes are these cute little Xs...but the kid keeps smiling throughout it all. *** A Wizard is one of the few things in the game able to go toe to toe with Death and get some hits off before dying. He is also more powerful than a Knight in a direct confrontation with a Dragon. *** Spawn a wizard, a dwarf (the fantasy kind) and an elf. [[TheLordOfTheRings Then spawn a ring]] For the record, the wizard usually wins *** Try Hovertank. It's arguably less useful than a regular Tank...but it looks [[RuleOfCool a lot cooler.]] *** How exactly is it less useful? The hovertank shoots explosive rounds, but the tank does not. *** There was something in the game I summoned through the word suggestion list, whose name I can't remember though I believe it ends in er, that looked like [[BodyHorror a very large large intestine]] [[NightmareFuel with a row of teeth at the front end and slime dripping off it that pulled itself along disturbingly quickly using its spindly arms.]] It had no legs. I remember being both disturbed and giddy at seeing it, for it was horribly awesome. **** Believe I found out what the above post was in the main article: a Shambler. Appropriately enough, part of the Cthulu mythos. *** One of my few disappointments with this game: Golem summons a robot. Technically accurate, but I was really hoping for a stone (or clay, or wood) being that would obey my every command. * sniff* *** The fact that Headless Horseman is in the game basically makes up for it, though. And Deserter. And Dark Knight. And EBG (Exploding Barrel Gun). And the Jersey Devil. And Mech. And Mecha. And Roadheader. And Proton Pack. And Flamberge. [[OverlyLongGag And Cthulhu.]] And Abraham Lincoln. And Komodo Dragon. And Rapier. And Hercules. And Behemoth. And Santa Claus. And Mrs. Claus. And Plasma. And Mutant. And Fedora. And Sniper Rifle. And Trampoline. And Death. And Elemental. And Roflcopter. And Shruiken. And Baby Dinosaur. And Robosaur. And Howitzer. And Mind Control Device. And... *** ...and Jabberwock! * [[Tropers/{{Uerian}} This troper's]] not the only fan of the Hint Box, right? You really get to know him in level 10-9. He seems like a nice guy, and a deep thinker. I wish you could [[strike:see]]hear more of him. * In a less baby-killing vein, This troper successfuly warded off a shark with....shark repellent. Thank you, Batman. ** Hey, me too! {{Camp}} wins the day again! *** There's also zombie repellent, which looks and acts identically,

[[CaptainObvious except with zombies instead of sharks.]] * This troper was frustrated with Puzzle Level 4-9, where you have to reunite a Knight and Princess, pass the Behemoth, and not kill the Witch. Frustrated with the Princess not moving, I killed the Behemoth with an RPG, flew the Princess past the Witch in a Helicopter (distinct from Chopper and ROFLCOPTER), then put her on a Skateboard, tied her up with a rope, and hauled her to her Knight like a sack of potatoes. And it worked. ** This Troper only needed ONE object. First, you can lure the behemoth into attacking distance of the Knight, then you can easily put the princess in the back of a Helicopter once you get around the witch. No rope, skateboard, or RP needed. For that matter, what's the point of the skateboard? Can't you just rope her to the copter? *** The chopper proved too big for the passage back to the knight, and she was too heavy to make any progress lashing her to Maxwell directly. So, further anachronisms saved the day! ** For that matter, if you're crafty, you don't even need to kill the behemoth: just lure him into the pool, and put the knight in the back seat of the chopper, taking him to her. * [[EvilTwin Lewxam]], [[SdrawkcabName Lewxam]],\\ Give me your answer true,\\ I'm half crazy\\ Because of [[EldritchAbomination Cthulhu]]!\\ Well it won't be a stylish battle\\ The {{Ninja}}s are [[DyingLikeAnimals dying like cattle]]\\ But you'll look swell\\ 'Long with Maxwell\\ On a bicycle built for two! ** That said, yes, Llewxem is in the game, and appears to take the form of a DS game card.... *** LLEWXAM. [[SpellMyNameWithAnS Get the spelling right, people!]] * It's possible to summon a Harpy, Charbydis, a Minotaur, a Centaur, Scylla, Cerberus, a Pegasus, a Chimera, a Gryphon, a Manticore, a Gorgon, a Sphinx, a Hydra, a Siren, and probably more. Summon the Hydra or Charbydis (they look the same), and you can give it three ridiculous hats. This troper really likes the myth animals. ...What is the Mother Goat, anyway? *** [[CosmicHorror Ia! Ia!]] [[EldritchAbomination Shub-Niggurath!]] [[CthulhuMythos The Black Goat of the Woods]] [[HPLovecraft with a Thousand Young!]] ** As are Mara, Ouroboros, Ra, Anubis, Basilisk, Cockatrice, Succubus, Barghest, Boggart, Dryad, Satyr, Tengu, Fenrir, Fir Bolg, Fenghuang, Kappa, Lambton Worm, Redcap, Thanatos and Morrigan. ** I tested some Greek god names. All I got was: "Zeus" summons God. "Ares" summons a rifle. And "Hades", well, summons Death. * And you too can be like [[GodofWar Kratos]] and walk around with a Gorgon's head and temporarily petrify other creatures! ** The Gorgon's head shoots the Stone Magic item, but it only has one shot. Might as well just summon that item and drop it on the foe's head. Better yet, summon Green Magic and turn them into a frog, which is permanent. ** Oh, and you can instakill a Gorgon (and leave behind her head) by

summoning a Mirror in front of her. *** [[Tropers/{{AndyLA}} This troper]] once pitted one Gorgon against a harpy. It seemed like the Gorgon would get the upper hand when she petrified the harpy, but she made a deadly mistake: she left the harpy sitting there instead of finishing her off. Then, when the harpy came back, they killed one another. And there was the Gorgon head sitting there. I later picked up the head and used it against a siren, to the same effect: the siren became stone, and the Gorgon head went poof, and later the siren came back to life. Luckily she doesn't attack me. * Puzzle 3-4; some kids with snowballs tossing them randomly. Title: "Return the favor to all of them!". This troper, then, summons a friggin' BRICK and toss it against the heads of them all. Starite get. ** This troper tried various other guns. It didn't work. * Puzzle 7-2. Race the Developers to the Starite. Maxwell doesn't start with a car, so is at a disadvantage. So I chose to summon a teleporter, warp to the Developer's Room, steal their car, and go back to the race. I won! ** I was more conventional. I summoned a rocket ('cause it can float above the holes). * I love to make things mini with the shrink ray. I shrunk a roc and i still could ride it. :) ** If you use it on a "hole", such as the "shoreline" or "pit", it makes a glitch that can cause you to pass through the walls. ** If you want, you can totally shrink ''yourself''. Get a murderer and give him the shrink ray, he will shoot at you. Wheee! Only problem is you can't use anything unless it's already shrunk. Yet, this has lead to humourous results with the LOL WUT spawn. *** Or just drop a Shrink Magic on your head * Being as she is currently affianced, [[Tropers/RiL this troper]] uses a bride avatar. This morning on the subway she was a bride with a rocket launcher killing zombies. [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Happy troper is happy]]. * This Troper, who has yet to get the game, requests that someone summon a horde of zombies, followed by MichaelJackson, just to see what happens, and report back. ** "MichaelJackson" summons a normal guy who is then attacked by the horde and turned into a zombie. FunnyAneurysmMoment? TooSoon? >.> *** No, it just summons a guy named Jackson. Seemingly a clone of Jeremiah. **** Speaking of Jeremiah, anyone knows why he breakdances from time to time? ** ThatGuyWithTheGlasses actually got the [[strike:first]] second MichaelJackson [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/no stalgia-critic/11584-ncblankcheck joke]] in since he died. * Puzzle 6-5, leading the giraffe to the zoo. I tried just riding it, but it freaked out. So I summoned a Blimp, tied the giraffe to it, and flew it over. Cue Starite. So I hop out to grab it, and the blimp promptly falls on the giraffe, sending it running back across the level towards a bottomless pit. But I got the Starite, so it's all good. ** I used a pegasus. It's better because the pegasus stays aloft even

if you jump off it. * Whales make excellent bridges. * This Troper, on the title screen, summoned four green-skinned, fanged humanoids, and equipped them with machine guns. He then dropped a [[HPLovecraft shoggoth]] on them, which they proceeded to destroy in a second's time. Why? '''[[Warhammer40K BECAUSE ORKZ IZ MADE FOR FIGHTIN' AN' WINNIN'!]]''' Note that this troper has never ''played'' 40K; his exposure to it is [[TvTropesWillEnhanceYourLife purely through TvTropes]]. * You can get humanoids to stop running around by making them ride a saddle. Or a dolphin. ** Or a treadmill ** Torpedoes work nicely, too. Just don't detonate them... *** [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential Unless you want to kill the humanoids...]] ** I use a TRAP (VEHICLE). Very effective. * This Troper summoned the Space Shuttle when challenged to get around a tornado, only to find that the stage was too small for the shuttle to navigate over the tornado. In a fit of stubbornness, rather than trashing the shuttle and summoning wings or a pegasus instead, I typed in "Shrink Ray" and fired a shot at the tornado. ''Then'' I flew over it with a space shuttle. ** Of course, when it's shrunk, you can EASILY jump over it. ** What [[Tropers/SgtFrog1 What I did]] was tie two ropes to the Starite. The tornado then snagged the rope, flinging it (and the Starite) into Maxwell's face. Yay! Sadly, he died soon after due to head injuries. * [[Tropers/{{Casatodo_Total}} This troper]] just used a sun on the scenary 15 of the sandbox, suddenly the objects that i put there and "dissapeared" were visible again... [[spoiler: on a cave...]] with a sun behind _O ** Um...it's a dark cave. The sun lights it so you can see. And the objects never disappeared. Haven't you ever played a game with dark caves before, like Dragon Quest or Pokemon? Didn't you notice the little ring of light around Maxwell? * In the puzzle stage where you need to race the developers to the starite, this troper was having a bit of difficulty. Summoning a race car didn't seem to work, no matter how quickly I summoned it. Eventually I decided to try the space shuttle and found out not only could it keep up with the race car, it could fly over all the obstacles too. Starite get! * I was just in a chatroom - completely unrelated to Scribblenauts or the DS, I should note - talking about random stuff, when someone wrote "Quick, what eats bears?!" Someone replied "Another bear." A few seconds later, the first person wrote back "...damn, didn't work. They both teamed up on me." I asked if they were playing Scribblenauts and got an affirmative answer. ''Only'' Scribblenauts could have produced that situation, people. * Just to mess around, I tried typing in "EpicFail". It gave me a nuke that destroyed everything on screen. Only Scribblenauts could make Epic Fail FTW ("FTW" then consequently summoning a fake Starite). * This troper solves all of his problems with God with a Chainsaw.

Cthulhu is no match for God with a Chainsaw. When I spawned Death, I found that God was having a spot of bother, so I decided that he required a mount. I thought for a moment, then remembering a certain glitch in the game, I spawned an elephant with a shotgun. The glitch that I remembered being that elephants can wield weapons (thanks TV tropes!). Death had no chance. ** The awesomeness was turned up to 11 when I spawned a plane and noticed that there was a passenger seat- Which was actually just standing on the wing of the plane. For the next five minutes God with a Chainsaw was standing on a plane while it was dogfighting with an army of flying devils wielding laserguns. Why wasn't this in the bible? ** In general scribblenauts is just awesome. Pretty much everything I do ingame is explosive or painful in some way. For example, "Trick or Tr-" BOOM FUCK YES STARITE * Unfortunately summoning a tarrasque didn't work. (Contrary to what you might think, it is not original to Dungeons and Dragons and should be a legitimate choice). It didn't recognize the word "grid" either, and summoning a golem gave me a robot (which doesn't look very much like a golem). ** But is technically accurate in the loosest sense of 'golem', as noted previously above. ** What about "Tarasque"? That is the original, non-D&D spelling. *** That doesn't work either. * Someone who owns the game, please answer this question: can you summon ChuckNorris? ** Nope. *** If you try, you just get one developer called Chuck. No Norris on him (though he ''has'' a beard...). ** What happens if you just type 'Starite'? *** You get fake Starite, not the real thing. **** Except [[spoiler:if you play Puzzle 10-11.]] *** Guess [[PennyArcade Gabe]] is gonna have to [[http://www.pennyarcade.com/comic/2009/9/23/ do that level over again]]. * Mini cthulu is so damn cute!!! * This Troper once tied Cthulu to a wall, and started throwing rocks, toy trucks, and cheese at him. * [[Tropers/InsanityPrelude I]] was on a level where there was a Starite and a thug enclosed by three doors; a couple more doors and three switches blocked by a ninja and another thug, along with a jump too high for the jetpack to conquer, were in the way. So what did I do? Why, summoned a velociraptor, had it eat the thugs/ninja, then stuck it behind a wall and rode a pegasus to go hit the switches. ** Also, if you summon a dingo and a baby... ** [[TheColbertReport Summon a bear and an eagle and they'll attack each other.]] *** No, they won't. The bear will just kill the eagle, who displays the "fight" icon shortly before it dies like all animals do. * This troper, upon discovering that a larger number of developers had avatars in the game than just those in the 'secret room' and Edison Yan, viewed the credits to find some more. Try Nick and Nate to get an animal-headed man and a guy in space armor of some kind, for example.

Also, noting that the credits had a woman named Kaori with the surname Slaczka, I had a hunch that putting her together with Jeremiah might do something. I'm guessing she's his wife, because it resulted in [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming him automatically acting as her guard and her tagging along wherever he went.]] ** More on Nate (actually Nathan.) He's pretty much God without the eletrocution in melee. This actually makes him worse, because that means you don't get the merit for eletrocuting someone. * [[Troper/{{Doomlewa}} This troper]] discovered that it doesn't matter whether she's mind controlled or not, God and the Succubus will attack each other. At one point he also had God, Ra, Anubis, Tengu, Scylla and charabdis hanging out in piece. ** This troper added to that and put in Medusa. Also, Charybdis = Hydra. * This troper couldn't get past the tornado for the longest time. Turns out [[spoiler: A-N-T-I-M-A-T-T-E-R]] works pretty well. ** I hid in a bomb shelter while it went by, then got out and grabbed the starite before it came back. *** Shrinking it works too. * [[WesternAnimation/AdventureTime OLD MEN PICK UP DIAMONDS]] ** So do a lot of other people. ** Ninjas, strangely, are disinterested. ** It's interesting to see what some spawned characters value more. I spawned a priest and gave him a cross, then spawned some money next to him. He promptly dropped the cross to pick up the money. Also, in that one mission where the cow has to pass by the butcher, I spawned money next to him also. He dropped his cleaver, picked up the money, and forgot about attacking the cow. *** Strange, when i attempted to make a priest do the decision, he was completely uninterested with both. *** This troper totally topped that. She summoned the Grim Reaper and gave him a sandwich, he jumped to grab it and dropped his sychte. Then, his hostility kicked in and he beat me up ''WITH A SANDWICH''. * [[AustinPowers Sharks can use ray guns without the use of any sticky object. They just attach it to their heads and start firing.]] ** They can actually do this with any type of gun. However, I can't figure out how to make them fire it (they just use melee attacks on me in the sandbox.) Help? * The solution to the Starite dangling precariously, with three crushers set to smoosh it as Maxwell draws near? [[CrazyAwesome Glue it to a bat, then lure the bat out of the hole with a moth.]] Also, dragons punch out Cthulu. * Putting in "Idiot" will summon a kid in a dunce cap. He apparently eats bugs with gusto. ** Idiots will happily eat lethal items such as chloroform, which nobody else will eat. The same idiot also ate a canister of chloroform when offered a choice between it and a burger. * Cryptozoological Battle Royale! Sasquatch versus Yeti versus The Jersey Devil versus Mothman versus El Chupacabra! [[spoiler: The Jersey Devil won.]] (The Loch Ness Monster and Ogopogo were not included, as they were too big and strong, and beat the others easily.)

* Finally, an answer to a philosophical conundrum that has baffled our greatest minds since time immemorial: Pirate beats Ninja. ** Only if you summon the Ninja and Pirate and don't bother giving the Ninja a better weapon, since he's summoned with a Shuriken. Give the Ninja a [[KatanasAreJustBetter Katana]], and he will beat the pirate every time. *** The Katana is actually the same weapon as the cutlass used by the pirate, so that means the ninja is better. However, pirates are usually found in groups, while ninjas aren't. *** Somewhere higher up on this page, someone did a series of Pirates vs. Ninja tests: The Pirates won the majority, although I suppose different conditions could cause different results. But who has time to test them all? ** Pirate may beat ninja, but the samurai swoops in after the fight and stabs the pirate in the back to grab the trophy. * The Aperture Science Enrichment Center would like to notify you all that summoning a "Portal" is safe and fun for everyone, and will in no way result in an encounter with an EldritchAbomination. * [[Tropers/{{Superfroggy}} This troper]] seems to prefer using the most sadistic methods available to him. Some of his favorite escapades from the past 30 minutes include: ** Waking a young child up by setting his bed on fire. *** I did this by means of [[LightningCanDoAnything lightning]]. I first put the cloud behind the bed. Didn't work. Then I moved the cloud just a bit ahead of the boy. Pop goes the Starite, as he's getting ''thunder struck''. The bed only started to burn just as I picked up the Starite. ** Dangling a shrunken Cthulhu from a raincloud using a belt ** [[spoiler: Chloroform]]ing random people so they won't annoy me ** Greeting innocent trick-or-treaters with a Freeze Ray attack, then setting Shoggoth on them. No way in hell they're getting my candy! ** Game: "Help the child break the pinata!" Me: "Excellent." (Arms Missile) * It is possible to glue a plank to an animal and then glue the other end of the plank to another animal. Naturally, at least one creature in the vast animal-plank contraption should be flying and rideable. * In my never ending quest to find the single most awesome thing to do in the game, I tried killing a ninja shark from the back of a dragon with a wand. It backfired and the wand hit my dragon instead. Awesomeness averted. * {{Jonn}} was doing that bit in world 5 where you have to get a woman to some vending machines past a bully, without killing him. I didn't know about FREEZE RAY at the time, so I spawned everything I could think of, until I wrote something and it asked me if I meant PRELATE. I didn't know what a prelate was, so I hit yes. Then I put him next to the bully. Bully attacks him to the exclusion of everything else, and he's apparently invincible. I just spawn money, waltz over, get candy, and hand it to the woman while BULLY is still waling away on the priest. ** Also, a surprising amount of problems can be solved with a jetpack and/or flamethrower. ** In 5-1, I spawned a GIANT ENEMY CRAB as a joke. The guy ran off the

island in terror. Oddly, this counted as a victory condition. *** [[Tropers/AndyLA I]] put one of these to fight God. '''God lost'''. Never mind that I killed the bastard with my rifle, '''IT. FRIKKIN'. KILLED. GOD.''' ** In one of the world 5 action levels, Max has a to catch a guy on a speedboat before he crosses the level and delivers a Starite to a pirate. Cue me spawning everything I could think of to slow him down so Max can catch up in his speedboat; a wall, a meteor, an anchor, God... *** This Troper simply dropped the Loch Ness Monster in the boat's path. He never even made it halfway to the pirate. **** Actually, just putting a mermaid in the water does the job. That's what I did. ** There's a level where the player has to help a lumberjack cut down a tree. The clue had the word "axe" in it. Naturally, my sister spawned an AXE, handed it to Max, [[CompletelyMissingThePoint and had him kill the lumberjack]]. "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong!" ** And "Trick of Treat", I picked up the pumpkin and tapped on the T&T-ers. Max promptly threw it at them, sending one fleeing in terror. And won. * So... I think this game just gave me a CooldownHug. There was a [[PrimalFear GIANT FUCKING CENTIPEDE]] in the bathroom, and after disposing of it, I fired up the game and called a few centipedes to thwack. Still freaked out, I decided to summon a silverfish. Those are creepy little beasts even if they are harmless. But... the silverfish gave Maxwell and his baseball bat a curious look and started following him around. I just... I couldn't do it. It was ''so cute''. * Add LeeroyJenkins to the list of memes you can summon. * This troper was attempting to figure out the name of one of the items which Santa gives out, so she could summon it for herself later. But since you can't use the magnifying glass on the title screen, she teleported into a level, which acts like a "real" level. The area she went to was the 5th Cell DevelopersRoom. Guess what Santa did when she summoned him? Gave ''every single one of them'' coal. Ha! * The "Ocean" title screen level (the one that's basically just a big pit of water) is a fun place for playing with boats... but also item buoyancy. Drag items down to the bottom of the ocean and then let them go to watch them fly! In particular, I've discovered that a humble ''cork,'' if placed all the way at the bottom, rockets out of the ocean with such force that it'll send anything it hits, including an ''entire pirate ship,'' into the stratosphere. ** I couldn't get that to work. However, if you drop a traditional bomber into the water, it randomly spins around and flies at [[{{Spaceballs}} ludicrous speed]] offscreen, killing anything in it. ** This troper (AKA Deloth) just tried it in his copy, and it did indeed work. The trick is to use ''Cork (Material)'' instead of ''Cork (Tool)'', which merely floats up impotently. The material, however, will rocket anything into space, including Viking ships and UFOs. * This troper, in a fit of boredom, pitted Longcat against Death. Longcat won, and went on to beat ''both Cthulhu and Shoggoth.'' Then Longcat got eaten by a dragon. It was a sad day. ** Also discovered that the Headless Horseman will follow you around

like a puppy if you're holding a jack-o-lantern. Naturally, I felt sorry for the guy and glued the thing to him. * This Troper, on the level where you have to get to pass a bully to get to a vending machine, handcuffed the bully, and [[AndIMustScream put the bully inside the vending machine]] * In the level where you have to put down the three rabid animals, this troper took a few tries to find said animals, then unleashed a zombie on all three. Maxwell didn't have to lift a finger. * On the level where you have to trap a bear in a hole, I tried to lure it in with a delicious baby. Strangely, this bear was not interested in eating the baby, however the baby could be made to ride the bear. * Eskimos seem to act hostile toward seals, and it is fun to give them clubs. * This troper was summoning different breeds of dog, just for the heck of it. Doberman, sheepdog, Newfoundland, et cetra. She decided to try summoning a chow chow, since her old dog was part chow chow. What did she get? A pear. A pear that ''in no way looked like a dog.'' But ''still frightened the other dogs.'' Bizarre 5th Cell inside joke, perhaps? ** I'd guess it only caught the "chow" part and, as a result, dropped something that 5th cell reckoned fell under the definition of "chow" when used as a noun. Why did the pear should scare the dogs? Now, that is a very good question... *** Check the discussion for this page. He said that chow wasn't recognized, but gave the option of Chow Chow, which summoned the pear. * This troper made a devil and let it hang there while she made a Cupid. She clicked them both in at the same time, so the devil was made instantaneously nice. After sending away Cupid, she made a unicorn and put the devil on it. They became inseparable, which is a shame since the unicorn started freaking out every five seconds because of the evil-looking rider. Since the nice little devil was so happy, this troper couldn't stand the thought of deleting him. She ended up just turning off the DS. * ThisTroper loves reanacting things through Scribblenauts. These include: ** Greek Myths: Gluing lead to a lance, giving the lance and a suit of armor to Maxwell, the setting him up on a Pegasus to fight a Chimera. Bonus to whoever can tell me the myth. *** Perseus? Ooh, try Winged Sandals next time, and see if he'll still ride Pegasus. Or, better yet, see if a Hostile wasp stings Pegasus instead of you. **** He still rides the Pegasus with the sandals on. And if you create a wasp, it stings the Pegasus and you get thrown off. **** * TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything [[GeniusBonus Mythology Bonus]] {{Squee}}* ! **** Perseus never rode Pegasus, Bellephron did. He's also the one who slew the Chimera. He tried to ride Pegasus to Olympus, but Zeus sent a wasp to sting Pegasus and have the horse throw him off ** Films: Summoning a scarecrow, a girl with a basket, a dog, a (tethered) lion, and giving Maxwell armor and an Axe. This one should be obvious.

** TroperTales: Tried the orcs/ shoggoth thing above. * [[Tropers/{{Uerian}} This troper]] was disappointed to find that despite the huge number of mythological creatures in the game, the penanggalan, his favorite creature, was nowhere to be found. Gluing a string of organs to a head was an okay substitute, since it seemed to drag around on the ground a little, but still disappointing. Are there any head-like creatures in the game that can fly around and have things attached to it? * Make a pool. Fill it with babies. Then put the mother on the edge and drop in a ''toaster.'' ** Do the above, but with a vending machine. The mother will heroically leap in to save... the candy bar that comes out of the machine, the bitch. * Write a chainsaw, a cupid bow, God, and Cthulhu. Shoot Cthulhu with the bow, give the chainsaw to God, and make God ride Cthulhu. That's ''Right''. If '''''GOD RIDING CTHULHU WIELDING A CHAINSAW''''' is heresy, then I don't want to be devout. * Take a panda, and another panda, and put one on top of the other. Continue until your meter runs out, and the pandas are in a loop. Ride that thing. (I call it the ''Pandamonium-Mobile''.) * In one of the levels, you have to help a bunch of bad guys get to Heaven. ThisTroper figured he could summon God, who would then forgive their sins and take them up there. It worked, and God made them all float up to Heaven. When that was done, the Lord apparently wanted to get to Heaven himself, forgot that he couldn't fly and [[DeathByIrony fell into Hell's lava, where he burned to death]]. This troper laughed for at least five minutes. * [[Tropers/{{Luminous}} This Troper]] has two of interest. The first is glueing the head of a staff to a wheel then glueing to the other three spots on the wheel springs, the result slowly crawled at Maxwell (just happened to be where it was facing)and EXPLODED when grabbed. This troper also glued wheels to the sides and bottom of hell and chained an angel to the top which this troper frightened with a demon. It moved hell for a bit, but then the angel reached the end of the map and was killed, yes PORTABLE HELL. * This troper who does not yet have the game but badly wants it must ask: What happens when you type in "internet"? ** You get a computer. * This troper spawned [[GreenAesop an environmentalist]], [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome gave him a chainsaw, and had him kill the Devil]]. Next he is going to try this against Cthulhu, Death, etc... (possible with additional power-ups.) * 0dd1: There is one stage (I believe in World 9) where you must deliver a mailman (no, that's not a typo) to a vampire's house so that he can give him his mail. However, you must get past a werewolf (without hurting it). After several failed attempts and a few particularly epic fails, I had an idea. I summoned a UFO and put the werewolf in it. Then, I summoned another UFO and an alien to put in it. Then (for absolutely no reason) I summoned Mars. I made the UFO active and put the alien in it. The werewolf started chasing the alien into outer space. Meanwhile, I walked the mailman to the vampire and the Starite appeared at the other side of the screen. As I went to get

the Starite, the vampire started chasing the mailman, completely forgetting that he may have already won $1,000,000...STARITE GET. * If you ever need a cheap laugh, dress Maxwell in "PANTY HOSE" and "BIKINI" at the same time. [[spoiler: Or, as I like to call it, "Streetwalker Maxwell."]] Ahahaha ''wow...'' I thought this was an E10-rated game! ** It's E10 because, in order to do stuff like this, you have to be already twisted in the head enough to come up with scenarios like that. * Have you ever wanted to ride a panda into outer space? (Or any other variety of bear, for that matter?) It's simple! First, summon a "LASSO." Then, summon a "TARGET." Pick up the TARGET with the LASSO. Now, summon a "PANDA" and ride it. Attempt to jump over the TARGET. Watch as panda, target, and you ''ascend into the heavens!'' Note that while you can use other bears, I find the panda easiest because it summons docile. But you have to use the lasso--other "pickup" items, like fishing rods and the grappling hook, don't work. And while I'm pretty sure you can do it with other round objects, the target is easiest 'cuz it's big. * this troper summoned god, and used the necronomicon on him. Turning him into an undead minion. Later, he gave God-skeleton a cross, which made him angry. And gave a priest the necronomicon, who beat the godskeleton with the book. Haha. Totally wrong. * This troper completed the stage where you have to rescue the sheep for the shepard by summoning a flying car and glueing the sheep's face to the hood and flying home. * [[Tropers/FyreNWater This troper]] went and [[http://fyrenwater.deviantart.com/art/Oct-16-Scribblenauts-Deaths140528816 scribbled]][[hottip:* :PUN!]] a few of the most entertaining deaths encountered while playing. This troper also froze the game by: ** Making an acrobat tower, riding it, then having a zombie attack the bottom acrobat. ** Having a full item bar's worth of animals all rush after one alfalfa sprout in a pool. ** Blackhole VS nuke VS singularity. *** This troper froze the game by having Death eating garlic after beating a vampire with it. * Typing "Game of the Year" summons a copy of ''{{Scribblenauts}}''. I concur. * This troper doesn't remember what the original attempted item was, but got "Byakko" in the suggested words box. It summoned a tiger. Genbu, Seiryuu, and Susaku (all spelled like that) happen to summon the rest of the animals that were the inspirations for TheFourGods. * In Puzzle 4-11, you need to get a king back to his castle. I looked up how to do it on GameFAQs to figure out how. Here is a synopsis of what I used from that guide and after: ** "Use two shots from a bazooka to kill the dragon" I knew that bazookas only have one shot, so I used the [[ImpossiblyCoolWeapon Exploding Barrel Launcher]] instead. ** "Use a Pegasus to get to the switch" I try, but the pegasus seemingly forgets how to fly, and we die in the lava because I didn't figure out I had to dismount to get out in time.

** "Use Cthulu to kill the dragon" Cthulu dies. I send God. He also dies. I send God with a chainsaw. The dragon dies in one hit, because it was severely weakened. ** "Use a hose to put out the fires" I do that, and it actually works. ** "Use a bridge ladder to cover the gap" this seems to work fine, so I get on a roc, and and move my stylus high to avoid my mount forgetting to fly again. the king runs off, free. Then he nudges the bridge ladder enough to create a hole to fall into the lava. I give up, and decide I'll do my usual thing for this: stuff him in a vending machine using handcuffs. I haven't tried it yet, though, and it'll probably go wrong somehow, because everyone, even Maxwell, who runs into lava due to a misclick and just barely makes it out alive, is TooDumbToLive *** Had the same problem with the bridge ladder as you did. The solution was surprisingly simple: Summon a ramp and put it on the edge of the bridge. Sure, the giant ramp to get a few inches up is a bit overkill, but isn't everything in this game? * For some reason, beluga whale follows narwhal? * This Troper is disappointed that "Tanning Bed" spawned only a regular bed. * Bugspray can be used as a weapon. If you give a can of bugspray to God and Satan, then they will gleefully try to bugspray each other to death. * Imagine a meteor with an exploding barrel, two atomic bombs, an ICBM or two, and a cowboy riding in a saddle strapped to it. Now THAT is how you wipe out the dinosaurs. Pity I used up my item limit, or I would have given the cowboy a stick of dynamite. * This Troper was very disappointed that the first thing he tried to type in wasn't accounted for: [[spoiler: Q-U-A-S-A-R. Why quasar? I'm an astronomy major, darn it!]] * You know how G this game is, right? Type in Virgin. ** Just for double the fun, summon 'developer' right after. ** I discovered that Virgin was synonymous with Gamer when I was testing whether a Unicorn would follow them. Answer: no. * [[Tropers/ARandomSerf This troper]] was playing the level where you have to race the leprechaun to the Starite. I dropped a wall in his path. He smashed through it. I gave Maxwell a jetpack. I lost. I gave Maxwell roller skates. I lost. I dropped a claymore on the leprechaun. He survived. I dropped a black hole on the leprechaun. He plowed right through it. I tried to distract him with gold. He ignored it. ... L-UC-K-Y C-H-A-R-M-S. He grabbed it and [[{{Irony}} fell off a cliff.]] I love this game. ** Also, my current favorite weapon is running people over with the space shuttle. * A few things [[Tropers/{{Azzamacazza}} This Troper]] has done ** Tied a gorilla to a [[strike: heli]]ROFL copter ** ''Glued Heaven and Hell together'' ** Handcuffed a supermodel to a goddess ** In the level where you have to give a kid something to break open his pinata, I gave him ''Excalibur'' ** Dressed Maxwell up like a bride, then summoned a groom. The groom seemed [[HoYay very protective of Maxwell]]

** I summoned YOUR MOM. The object? A zombie. *** A supermodel handcuffed to a goddess? You're a kinky one, aren't you? * [[Tropers/{{hooligans}} This Troper]] recalls doing a level where I had to kill two goblins and rescue a wizard. How did I beat it? I put each goblin in a bulldozer and had it coast into the lava, then I used a jumbo jet to bridge the gap. * How do you kill a dragon? Summon a T-Rex? Nah, the dragon is stronger than him. What about God? Nah, the dragon beats him. What about one of those steel spikes? S-P-I-K-E... Wait, that's not a steel spike, that's just a thumbtack! That can't help me kill the dragon, right? Wrong. Lift up the thumbtack, drop it on the dragon. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat until dragon is dead. Yeah. This guy killed every monster I threw at him, but dropping a thumbtack on him several times in a row with a wee bit of damage every time, and poof he goes. * [[Tropers/ShapeshifterTheTroper This troper]] has a new favorite tool combination when dealing with hostile animals: handcuffs and a picnic basket. The handcuffs either attach the animal to the basket, so that I can use the "fill" option, or weigh it down so that it falls in of its own accord. * Whenever this troper doesn't want to kill anything on his own, but doesn't want to piss off what he just spawned, he summons God to do his dirty work for him. * This troper discovered a surprising yet entertaining way to solve the bully level - give him a unicorn to ride. ** Another, not quite as awesome as the others, but - this troper handcuffed a cat to birdseed, then spawned a bird. The bird proceeded to zip back and forth very quickly, before deciding to attempt to eat the birdseed. Its efforts were rewarded with being eaten. * Okay, [[Tropers/{{Etheru}} this Troper]] experienced this... Basically, I summoned a [[DungeonsAndDragons Fighter, Cleric, Wizard, and Ranger]] and had them fight a zombie... They all killed each other by accident, except Fighter. ** In one of the missions, which involved various theme park games, I ''threw a damn grenade at the guy'' with more glee than Sarge, I failed the first time and said, "Whoops! Let's try that again!", and succeeded the next time. ** This Troper, with his frightening sister, tried to use a synonym for Tuxedo, one try was "Monkey Suit", ''it spawned a literal Monkey costume'', I laughed for several minutes. * This troper has found out how to make things fly. Summon a raft on dry land. Get on the raft. Summon the sea. A small pond now appears, and you can drag it around the screen. If you put it under the raft, the raft starts floating. ANd then you can just elevator your way to the top. * This troper summoned up {{Cthulhu}} and Cupid. Cupid pacifies Cthulhu. This troper deleted Cupid, then summoned up a baby. Then she wrote in "LOL WUT", thus creating a giant Maxwell head. Then she summoned up another "LOL WUT", and put one on the baby, and the other on Cthulhu. She then made the giant!Maxwell-headed baby ride Maxwellheaded!Cthulhu. And that was the weirdest thing she has ever made on

Scribblenauts. * I went on the level on the title screen with high platforms, and made a house. Then I made an old man, a boy scout (which turned into a female archer), and a golden retriever. Then I put a villian in a dirigible, but the scout killed him and his vehicle. Then I remade the blimp and put a dog next to it. Finally, I put as many balloons as I could on the house (Which was one). Can you guess what I was refrencing? [[spoiler: Up!]] Come up with your own little reinactments! * I just made Cthulu TV! I glued a pole to Cthulu, then a TV to the pole, and hooked up the TV to an antenna on the ground! * I realized what an amazing game this was when I thought to myself [[NoodleImplements "Ok, I'm going to need chloroform, a hammer, a butterfly net, and a jet pack."]] * When [[Tropers/PurplePantherGirl this troper]] first played Scribblenauts she summoned an angel... then an orange. The angel ate the orange, causing me to yell 'The bastard ate my orange!' which has now become a running joke among my friends. * [[ChessWithDeath It seems Death is uninterested in a friendly game of chess...]] [[SubvertedTrope Violently so...]] ** [[DiscWorld He can't remember how the little horsies move.]] * Hope you don't mind a long story! Whilst hanging around doing nothing waiting for everyone to get back from their two-hour lunch break before a band competition one day, I pulled out my copy of Scribblenauts just to have something to do. There was a tuba player sitting behind me, so I figured just for the heck of it I would summon a tuba to see if you could do anything interesting with it. (I had been sadly disappoined earlier at my inability to use trumpets to bash people's brains in. Seriously.) Of course I was unable to use the tuba for anything, but, interested in the game, the kid asked me if he could play it. Cue the next two hours being spent with about a ''fourth of the band'' watching it being played or playing the game at some point, putting in the most obscure things possible, managing to get God pissed off at Maxwell, summoning ninja snipers and, in what is in my opinion a Crowning Moment of Awesome, suggesting the phrase "Greg's mom" and ''having it working.'' (It should be noted at this point that Greg is a very socially awkward kid who is often made fun of by the rest of the trumpet section, and the most common way to insult him is by twisting just about anything anyone says into something along the lines of "that's what Greg's mom said last night!") Cue me verbally attacking one of the other trumpet players who didn't even know what Scribblenauts ''was'' at the time with "OH HEY WE PUT GREG'S MOM INTO SCRIBBLENAUTS AND IT ACTUALLY WORKED", much to his confusion. The people playing this game liked it so much I agreed to let them play it on the bus on the way to competition a week later (and they were all riding a different bus from me). * [[Tropers/HelloMortals This Troper]] summoned God, gave him a chainsaw and some badass sunglasses and popped him on a unicycle. Then I summoned Satan with a sniper rifle. The ensuing battle was one of the funniest things I've seen on this game. After crowning Satan the victor, I gave HIM the unicycle, still with sniper rifle, gave him the Badass Sunglasses of Doom and let him chase after me. Maxwell jumped

onto a tiny step and Satan could get over it on the unicycle, and so was reduced to randomly firing with the sniper rifle. Twas all rather amusing. * [[Tropers/Gorank This Troper]] has done a few interesting things, such as: ** Cleaning a park with exposives, fire, and a black hole. (Later I just learned to cut out the middleman.) ** Going on a flower-collecting expedition. This required a [[GatlingGood minigun]] ([[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill for the bee]]), a toaster (for the pirahna) and Pegasus (for the one on a ledge). ** Distracting a bully with a kitten. ** ''Burning Heaven to the ground''. ** Made a museum of various robots who I earlier disabled through prolonged immersion in water. * the best way to cook a chicken is to...1.summon a group of chickens 2.drop an egg somewhere nearby...instant fry. ** (this only works with a group of chicken and the last surviving one becomes hostile) * [[Tropers/{{Liangnui}} This troper]] tends to solve action puzzles by attaching the visible starite to an angel, then doing whatever the action sequence requires. This usually means that the starite doesn't plummet off the bottom of the screen even thougha DeathTrap has been set off. Except for the few times that the angel's too scared of [X] enemy to stay in one place and not run into a sea mine or something. * After seeing the basic male NPC keel over dead in the tutorial, I automatically knew who my ButtMonkey was going to be. I like making Maxwell out to be some sort of HeroicSociopath , so I torture the man npc when I can't think of anything else to do. One time i gave him a crowbar, then threw something at him. he proceded to ''beat the shit out of Maxwell with the crowbar''. I then decided, since it was the title screen and Maxwell wouldn't have died anyway, to let him have his revenge and gave him a tank, which then glitched and sent both characters spiraling offscreen to their deaths. The man npc had finally gotten his revenge, and it was ''awesome''. * [[Tropers/LoveIsWeird I]] tried the third challenge in the Peaks. I put in a Pegasus and two ropes. Cue me screaming as I tried to feed the penguin. I failed, spectacularly, and my Pegasus went poof. * ThisTroper used the shrink ray occasionally until I looked at what it was firing. Now I use shrink magic all the time! * Create a MECH. Now, create a SPIKED STEEL BALL or STEEL SPIKE. Get in the mech and drop the spike on to it from a great height. You will get out. Now move the spikey thing further away and get back in the mech. For a vehicle it sure gets angry (and yes I have tested it, it is the mech, not the driver). ** [[Tropers/{{Inkblot}} I]] just tried that. ''The mech lost.'' * The AI in Scribblenauts is surprisingly simple. I got a mouse, cat and dog and roped them together like this: Cat--Dog--Mouse. this caused the cat to become frozen, sutck between running from the dog and chasing the mouse. Poor cat. * This troper's personal favorite is making Cthulu (who doesn't want to?), and using a mind control device on it. Simple, yet effective. Also, try this: on the sandbox screen, go to the wilderness setting,

make a monolith, priest, handcuffs, and wizard staff. Place the monolith on the right side, and tie the priest to it with handcuffs. Give him the staff. Attack him with any object, then throw it away and run to the left side of the screen while he attacks. Then make a belt, Attach it to a flying red magic, then quickly take it off. The magic stays frozen. Eventually the screen will start lagging, then just lock up. Note that touching a single red magic will make it disappear, but if at least two are overlapping, you will simply bounce off. Oh, and make toast, and use it on a cat. Purposely or glitch? [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox You decide.]] * To this Italian troper, world 6 started bordering on [[GuideDangIt being too complex to find out without a guide]], if not [[MindScrew flat-out nonsensical]] at times. I mean, the wedding puzzle (6-3P). Summon rice, the guests will eat it. Summon a cake, the same will happen. As soon as I managed, [[ThatOneLevel after who-knows-how-many tries]], to give the bride a B-O-U-Q-U-E-T, and subsequently to attach a C-A-N to a R-O-P-E to the limo, the Starite appeared. I said, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere "screw you and your wedding, folks!"]] and grabbed it as soon as it appeared. However, who knew it was just the beginning? Then came the wolves-and-diamonds level (6-7P). Various wolves, and you can't kill most of them [[GuideDangIt (that is, you aren't told which ones you can kill)]]. What did I do? I don't know how, but after '''''MANY''''' tries I somehow managed to attach the diamond to a rope tied to me. While the treasure hunter [[TooDumbToLive (who, by the way, always tries to follow you...]] despite showing his fear pretty clearly at first), by following you, [[WhatAnIdiot fell into the pit with two wolves in it]], I somehow managed to tie myself with a rope to the diamond. While running away, the diamond fell into the pit too, close enough to the guy to give me the Starite. ''And all of this'' ''[[CaptainObvious (minus the wedding part, as it was another stage)]]'' ''happened within'' '''''five''''' ''mere seconds''. [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I grabbed the Starite]] [[MagnificentBastard as soon as I could,]] [[MoralEventHorizon without caring for the diamond seeker]] [[CompleteMonster as the wolves were ripping him to shreds.]] Starite get, [[YouBastard bitch]]. Oh, one more thing [[WallOfText (yeah, I know)]]. About the shoot-the-target stage (6-10P): [[spoiler: [[NoodleImplements Black Hole, Pegasus, Rope, C4, Anvil]]. In that order. The first one is for both flies and croc, then you need Pegasus and Rope to take the clown to safety, and the last two are for... well, you know. As suggested, [[StuffBlowingUp "clearing the way"]].]] * Then there's the one with [[ConveyorBeltOfDoom the conveyor belt]], still in the sixth world (6-6A). You literally just need [[TwoWords two words]]: [[spoiler: Rain and Pegasus]]. Trust me, ''it works''. It's ''that'' simple. * More madness from that world: to me, 6-8A was just ''impossible'' to clear within the PAR limit, so I just ''had'' to exceed it. Then, 611A arrived. That utter ''clusterfuck'' [[JustifiedTrope (totally justified]] [[PrecisionFStrike profanity, seriously)]] of a level. The most [[MindScrew inexplicable]] thing is that ''there's actually a way to complete it, within the PAR limit!'' You need a freaking black hole, then a lasso and a road. Put the black hole under the apples, a

bit on their right, then place the lettuce on the left with the lasso. You'll then need the road just to press the buttons, as weight. ''And'' '''''even''''' ''this way, 100% success isn't guaranteed'', but within a few tries you should do it anyway. * The next world isn't as frustrating, but some of the puzzles aren't that friendly either. In 7-3P, only a Pegasus is required, but you'll need to be fast enough to fall on its back. 7-4P only requires a [[TankGoodness tank]], as the giant will ''[[ItRunsOnNonsensoleum fall asleep]]'' while you're inside it. Pegasus comes back as the only item you'll need in 7-5P. * Well, I was just fooling around, created a witch and wizard, and the wizard killed the witch. Then I created other things for the wizard to kill including an assassin. What did it do? Picked up the witch's wand and turned the wizard into a frog, and anyone else I created. I did further experimentation, it seems like his favorite weapon is a shrink ray, followed by a scimitar/sword, then the wand. * I just summoned Cthulhu, then I tried to summon megatron, but since it's copyrighted it just gave me some other choice. One of them was Megalodon. Giant Shark VS Cthulhu, who wins? ''Giant Shark. I was on land.'' * This troper has come up with several ways to solve the first Action level (getting the Starite out of the tree), including: ** Throwing a grenade at it, and quickly grabbing the starite before it gets destroyed by the explosion ** Getting a woodpecker to destroy the tree ** Using a [[GoodBadBugs panda stack]] ** Jumping up to it using a bed ** Digging a hole under the tree ** [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome Using several icebergs as steps]] (It is possible, but a little hard to fit) ** Using a pterodactyl to fly up and grab it ** [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Cutting it down with an axe]] ** And too many others to list. * My boyfriend was playing the first puzzle level where you have to give each of the people an item that was specific to them. He gave the policeman a gun, and when he got an axe for the fireman, he picked it up and attacked the fireman by accident. The fireman fought back before the policeman shot him with the gun given to him. ** He was also disappointed by the fact that when you have to rescue the cat from the roof in level 1-6, burning the house down counts as a failure. * By far, this Troper's crowning moment of ingenuity was on the park cleaning level. I knew where the Starite would appear, so I summoned a nuke and rigged it to blow. Then I stood under where the starite appeared and waited. The park was completely cleaned of all features whatsoever, and yet Maxwell managed to catch the Starite before dying of self-inflicted nuclear bombing. * In any given situation in Scribblenauts possibly involving moving someone, or just having a person it is required that Maxwell interact with, my first reaction is always "throw a brick at them". Turns out it's quite effective in multiple levels. * This troper summoned a witch and found that she'll turn enemies

(read: anything that bugs her) into a frog and then eat them. Once, I pitted her against Cthulu. She turned him into a frog and ate him. Witches are hardcore, man. ** Then guess what happened with I put her against Death? '''SHE TURNED DEATH INTO A FROG AND ATE HIM.''' I seriously hope I never meet a witch. * Sword Van. Try it. ** SEIZURE ALERT! * Oh boy, I just murdered the game's developers with a fork. ** It's even more fun with a spoon. * This Troper has beaten Puzzle 2-1 by summoning a pegasus, putting a mine under the pinata, flying up to grab the rope, and blowing up the pinata. He also completed the level by setting a bomb near the pinata, and still got the Starite, despite killing the girl, the clown, and himself. * After clearing out the entire pit in the first sandbox, ThisTroper had his wings destroyed. I decided to get out of the pit with three acrobats on three pandas. Then they threw me off the screen and I died. I have also used the tornado as a brick launcher, and killed a tornado. I have overrun the Middle Ages with zombies and sacrificed them to the Kraken. DO try shooting a rocket launcher at 4 bombs, dynamite and 3 grenades. DON'T try to emulate the sword in the stone. But do wear wings, and ride a panda glued to a fedora on a dragon. AWESOME! * This Italian troper is back with another "walkthrough": now aware of the "spawn-Handcuffs-then-attach-Handcuffs-to-Starite-and-then-useHandcuffs-to-put-Starite-in-a-Vending-Machine-and-finally-move-itnext-to-you-in-order-to-get-the-Starite-in-safety" GameBreaker thing, he retried 7-8A, where "Get it!" is your only clue. The catch, as I found out, is that ''[[BeyondTheImpossible even this way it isn't enough]]''. You'll also need a Lasso to finally get that thing. ''[[LuckBasedMission If you're lucky as hell, that is!]]'' ** ... and about the last action level of world 7 (Hint: "LOL!"): despite getting the Starite only with the same Handcuffs-and-VendingMachine GameBreaker, there's been another way I '''''almost''''' made it. Basically, go next to the left column of explosive boxes, then summon a Wall on the right side of the "blow-up cage"; destroy the column of explosives on the right with a Black Hole and then summon either Pegasus or a Pterodactyl and go get your MacGuffin. [[LuckBasedMission Hard to survive,]] but still effective. ** There are also two levels between the other two I've just described. It turns out, in ''[[SavingPrivareRyan "Saving Private Maxwell..."]]'', use Handcuffs and Vending Machine. [[{{Whoring}} Yeah, again.]] Then, in the ''"Parkour"'' one, ''a single Pterodactyl is enough,'' without even needing to be oh-so skilled. ''In a level with a PAR limit of freaking'' '''''9''''''', no less!'' * About the puzzle levels in world 8, well... let's just say [[GuideDangIt this world has its offenders]]. To clarify: ** '''8-1P:''' summon Gold or a Nugget (or anything that's precious, for that matter) and show it to every alien. Use a Pterodactyl (or Pegasus) to fly. ** '''8-2P:''' kill the second one on the left with a Chainsaw.

** '''8-3P:''' get rid of the Skunk with a properly placed Black Hole and then write Universe. ** '''8-4P:''' catch the teddy bear (I mean, anyone that spawns) [[spoiler: while you're riding either a Pterodactyl or Pegasus]]. ** Then there's '''8-5P''', that may quite easily be ''one of the (if not'' '''''the''''''') worst [[EscortMission Escort Missions]] I have'' '''''EVER''''' ''played in my entire'' '''''LIFE.''''' Level summary: [[spoiler: basically, you have to save a girl from zombies. [[WorseThanItSounds Sounds funny, right?]] '''[[ScrappyLevel NO.]]''' Five zombies in a ''waaaaaaaay'' too enclosed space: maybe funny in an action game, but not in Scribblenauts. And the girl you have to save... TooDumbToLive [[BeyondTheImpossible turned]] UpToEleven. ''Good God.'']]]] Anyway... create a [[spoiler: Chainsaw]] and, after you've equipped Maxwell with it, [[spoiler: attack the first Zombie on the right.]] Then, ''as soon Maxwell'' ''[[spoiler: begins attacking]]'', you have to [[spoiler: summon a Wall]] as fast as you can, and [[spoiler: drop it over the Zombie]] '''''im-me-dia-tely'''''; after three or four [[spoiler: swings of your Chainsaw]], use it to [[spoiler: slay the zombie on the left]]. If you've done everything correctly, the [[spoiler: three remaining zombies]] should be [[spoiler: shouldn't be able to reach you because of the Wall you've just summoned]]. '''Now''' you can start playing without having to rush, as everything you've done this far '''''happens within about five mere seconds of actual gameplay'''''... if not '''less'''. Summon a [[spoiler: Cannon]] without deleting your [[spoiler: Chainsaw]], since you may still need it to [[spoiler: [[ChekhovsGun tilt said Cannon properly]].]] Given that [[spoiler: Cannons [[MoreDakka have infinite ammo]]]], well... [[KillEmAll I think]] [[HilarityEnsues you can]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome guess the rest.]] Anyway, this level is... just... [[BuffySpeak I mean...]] ''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''. * This troperess cannot believe you didn't just use zombie repellent. It takes a while, but all you have to do is give one to the girl and one to maxwell and run at the zombies... ** '''8-6P:''' after the previous DifficultySpike GuideDangIt ScrappyLevel, here we are, back to a kinda easy level thanks to SurpriseDifficulty. "[[AliensStealCattle Save at least one cow]]", huh? [[spoiler: What about saving every one of them, then? Again, a properly placed Black Hole acts as a ''great'' GameBreaker!]] ** '''8-7P:''' ''relatively'' easy. Use a [[spoiler: Road]] to [[spoiler: cover the BottomlessPit]], then [[spoiler: ride]] your trusty [[spoiler: Pegasus]] (or a [[spoiler: Pterodactyl]] as well as usual - except that the [[spoiler: winged reptile]] was part of a series of failed attempts) in order to go next to the ice cube. Then use a [[spoiler: Rope]], to [[spoiler: tie said cube to your winged ride]] and go to the truck. The ice cube won't bump on the stalaktites and arrive there safe and sound... [[LuckBasedMission if you're lucky, that is]], since the physics the game makes use of, in turn, makes everything almost impossible to plan. ([[XanatosGambit Unless you're]] [[DeathNote Light Yagami...]]) [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse Wait, and what was that]] [[spoiler: [[ChekhovsGun Road]]]] for? There's also a (mercifully friendly) MadScientist that follows the ice cube [[CompanionCube almost everywhere]]. And [[spoiler: given that there's

a BottomlessPit]], [[TooDumbToLive well]], you know... ** '''8-8P:''' and now, for something simple. [[spoiler: Pterodactyl and Rope.]] ** '''8-9P:''' there are two ways to get through this MindScrew of a level. First way, summon a [[spoiler: Wall]] to [[spoiler: prevent the cop from bothering you]], then use a [[spoiler: Road]] to [[spoiler: press the first two buttons]], then [[spoiler: press the third]] and open the safe. Second way... [[spoiler: get the safe with [[GameBreaker vending machine and handcuffs]]]], [[{{Whoring}} but seriously, why does that surprise anyone anymore]]? ** '''8-10P:''' more GuideDangIt. [[spoiler: Kill the [[strike: Men In Black]] secret agents with two properly (''emphasis on properly'', duh) placed Black Holes.]] Then use [[spoiler: Pterodactyl and Rope]] to get the caged alien next to the flying saucer, and when you're done, use the same method to take the hologram [[spoiler: [[strike: [[ChestMonster next to the flying saucer]]]] ''down its corridor'']]. Starite get. ** '''8-11P:''' despite whatever you're thinking, when I played the stage, the ''BackToTheFuture'' reference '''didn't work'''. Seriously, [[spoiler: [[SummonABiggerFish summon a Monster Truck]]]], keep going right and you're done. * [[DonQuixote Knights attack windmills.]] * When using the "Witch" avatar, the frog wand doesn't work on you. If you play a level where there's an enemy holding a wand, nothing will happen when you get hit. After winning the level the game awards you as if you were the one to transform something with the wand. ??? * Asking for "ORLY," "YA RLY," "NO WAI," etc. spawns owls. * I attempted to handcuff a man to a corpse and shove the ensuing tangle into a vending machine. However, the man wouldn't stand still and the game eventually froze, apparently to punish me for my cruelty. * This troper's favorite thing to do in the game is put a manger... inside a manger inside a manger... you get the picture. Then, because mangers will dump their contents when sideways or upside down, the trough will be put in one of these positions... and MANGER SPLOSION!!! * Maxwell doesn't like fire, and if you try to touch it, he'll be hurt... unless you first set a piece of clothing on fire, and then drag the clothing on to Maxwell. Then, he is [[DwarfFortress curiously indifferent]] to the fact that he's wearing something ''on fire.'' The clothing won't be damaged, either, and will be on fire for as long as you keep it on. The best thing to do this with is the WINGS, because they turn Maxwell into a ''[[RuleOfCool giant flying fireball.]]'' ** Maxwell can become an aesthetic fire god. Give him flaming wings, flaming gloves, flaming shoes, a flaming hat(or a flaming rooster helmet) and for good measure a 'flame sword'. * The "DJ" you can summon is... odd. It's one of the avatars available, and it looks female, right? Ponytails, a skirt, the whole shebang--and since the available avatars seem to be split pretty evenly between "male," "female," and "other," makes sense. However, she has a male voice, and, if fed AMBROSIA, becomes a God instead of a Goddess. Huh. * I created a self-made "contraption" for moving. Here's what you do: Summon some WOOD or a PLANK. Now, summon GLUE and a NAIL. Attach the

glue to one of the ''long'' sides. Then, stick the nail in the middle. Summon a WHEEL and stick it to the nail. Now, summon a SADDLE and glue its bottom portion to the plank. Now you can ride it, and it can move a little. How to make it self-propelled? Summon an AIR VENT and more GLUE. Put the glue on the side of the Air Vent that the air comes from. Now glue the Air Vent to oe of the ''short'' sides of your planky wheel-thing. Zoooom! * I was not surprised to find that the Chupacabra attacked and ate any goat it found. I was horribly amused to find out that Cupacabras are ''scared'' of Satyrs! * This tropette was playing a level in the game that contained the mentioned-above Chupacabra. Curious to see what other cryptids/folklore is in the game, she typed in 'SPRINGHEELED JACK', fully expecting him not to be in the dictionary. Well, never again will I doubt this game, because good ol' Jack? [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome He's in the game.]] Someone on board must be a fan of the paranormal. * This troper once spawned a pterodactyl, got on his back, and started flying around. She was already giggling with glee, but then she spawned a top hat, put it on the pterodactyl, and then got a monocle for Maxwell. The giggles of glee turned into [[AnnoyingLaugh HOHOHEEHEEHOOHOOHOO THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER DOHOHO.]] * If you put ANUBIS (Egyptian god of the underworld) against a CHILD with a SLEDGEHAMMER, the CHILD wins. Also, a CANNIBAL with a BILL is ridiculously powerful. * T.T. has had much too much fun coming up with the three different ways to beat the "get the girl through the zombies to the chopper" level. One of the silliest was putting every zombie ''on a rocking horse,'' and strolling casually on as they rocked furiously in place. But one of the ''best?'' Giving the GIRL a DEATH RAY, and [[LittleMissBadass getting the hell out of the way.]] * Although the ENCHANTRESS looks sultry, she's fully on your side--and if you summon a WIZARD, the two of them will team up to become a pair of BackToBackBadasses who fearlessly protect each other. After toying around with this phenomenon (and becoming intriegued), I decided to summon a WITCH (hostile) and her male, equally hostile counterpart, the WARLOCK. As soon as I dropped them next to one another, [[LoveAtFirstSight they became smitten with one another and followed each other around]], ignoring everything else in favor of each other. They were so happy (and so placid with regards to me) that I couldn't bear to delete them and just changed scenery. * After messing around with clothing options, this troper thought to put LIPSTICK in Max's hands, then promptly use it on everything else. Everything turned into a lovely shade of fuchsia. Also, CHI, the Eastern variant to your normal dragon. * This troper once tried spawning a fetus to feed to a crocodile. Simply entering it caused the weirdest glitch ever. * This troper crashed the game by accident when I was trying to drag a box away with some connected wires. Weird. ** Also, I'd like to pass out this bit of advice: Use reindeer or pteranodon/pterodactyl to fly. Very useful. I found out about the reindeer by accident- I was in the level where you have to give Santa

something he likes and I accidentally clicked on and ended up riding the nearby reindeer. While I was trying to get off, it ended up flying. * This tropette beat several lava levels by accident. After trial-anderror in the one with five crates, using a clone of Maxwell to determine which crate had the Starite, [[spoiler: it's the fourth one]], I used a bunch of whales as bridges. The entire thing fell apart when I went to actually get the crate, though. I opened it in midfall, and my prize fell in the lava. So Maxwell jumped in and got the Starite despite burning to death. Got the Pyromaniac award with the rope, crate, Maxwell, and Starite all burning up. ** I tried the GameBreaker vending machine trick in...7-1, i think, and hit a snag: there was barely enough room to open the thing! I managed to get it open at the very edge, and Maxwell running itno it immediately made the Starite fall. So Mawxwell plunged in after it and got it despite it being on fire. * [[Tropers/{{Keeyla}} This troper]] was greatly amused to find out that Chupacabra can wear hats and hold items. I gave him a sombrero and a maraca. D'awwwww. * Try putting two slices of Garlic Bread a moderate distance from each other, then drop a Vampire in the middle of them. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensues]]. * I've been experimenting with ways to keep things stone permedently after using a medusa head on them.The for mechanical beings all you have to do is short them out then turn them to stone.but with living things its a differnt story but i figured out that putting them in cages keeps it permedant.But i again saw a problem with this theres really big creatures that dont fit in cages so for a while i was stumped until the day i wrote this i figured it out completely by accedeint i wrote "shark cage" and to my suprise i got a huge cage!!!!!! almost anything fits inside (cthulu) wont fit but so far every thing else has.i hope this is helpful to all you people that like making creatures into stone :D * This troper once summoned god and had him kill, the devil, cthulu, and a ninja. He then summoned an atheist (yes it exists). He immeadeately got scared by god and ran away. I felt sorry for him and gave him a chainsaw. He decided to support his beliefs by '''killing God himself with a chainsaw'''. Needless, to say i was shocked. * [[Tropers/{{Abrulz}} This Troper]] got bored on the beginning sandbox, and put God in a cage. Then, decided to swing the cage from on high. After realising, there was nothing to hang it from, I attached the cage to a chain, attached that chain to another chain, which was attached (you can see where this is heading) to an anvil resting on an above platform. That anvil was glued to a hobo, who was chasing a sandwich just out of reach. Result: God hanging from a cage. Just the very concept that I could do that makes Scribblenauts absolutely ''awesome''. * Today, this troper: ** Used a teleporter to teleport to the the game developers, jack their car, and unleashed the zombie upstairs. Then I contiued my assualt in space, where I commited genocide against an alien speices and borrowed their time machine. Using it, I headed to the time of the

dinosaurs, where I put a meteor up in the air and escaped back to the present. ** I had a party with my friends: Cthulu, a squirell, and a scared confused boy. Then I summoned Keyboard Cat, who played the music for the party. Then Rick Roll came, did a little dance, and went poof. * I have found an awesome way to beat the level with the bully. Type in a [[spoiler: priest]] and the bully will chase him around, never killing him, ignoring everything else. Get the candy. VICTORY! * I have have worked to create the best experience in the sandbox possible: ** Double-chaingun barrage against an army of Feeps and Cthulhus. ** Anonymous battling an Evil Knight both armed with miniguns and riding war horses. ** Seeing which non-immortal character can last the longest against a blob. * this troper had the idea of pitting axe cop (policeman with an axe) against dr. mcninja (ninja with a katana). another troper then carried out this test. the victor? neither, it was a tie. sounds about right * I don't have the game so I have to ask, what the CrystalDragonJesus happens if you put a plumber and a hedgehog next to each other? ** Nothing, sadly. * This Troper (MaybeMortiarty)created a family of robots- A robot, android, tamed cyborg and tamed feep and a human baby called Issac Assimov Lovecraft cthulu came along and killed the family but Cupid arrived in time to tame Cthulu and save Issac. I gave Issac an army helmet and made him ride Cthulu. Then I glued a platform to Issac's head and glued a king to the platform. I then encased Issac's Posse in several Ice Block Huge and waited to see what would happen. The King was terrified and started to run while not moving and then Cthulu moved lightning fast and knocked all of the Ice Block Huges out of the Atmosphere where they were destroyed. I created a memorial to them out of skeletons glued together. * This troper loves glue. First I glued the bottom of hell to a church. Then I used a ROFLcopter to push hell around. Then I attached the copter and hell and pulled it up a slope. I then got rid of the copter and made a tank in an attempt to blow hell up (this is my 2ed day with the game). After that I tried to see what a glue gun would do. After shooting it and finding that it exploded into glue, I chained a tank to hell and glued a zombie to the tank. Then I made a woman and saw if the zombie would be able to drag the tank with it. Then I just drove the tank and turned the woman into a zombie. What fun glue is. * This Troper pitted a Pirate in a tank against a Shoggoth. The Shoggoth proceeded to jump onto the tank and kill the pirate. * Not sure what other items have this function, but a probe counts as a melee weapon that deals no damage. Equipping one to an enemy is helpful for neutralizing hostiles you can't hurt. * Giving random people the Necronomicon is pretty funny. Just give one to a random kid, scare him with some random {{Mooks}}, and watch him flail about as he tries to kill the very things he summoned. For some more fun, I sometimes put in a random rockstar, gave him a laser sword and corrupted him with earth magic because I thought he kinda looked

like [[NoMoreHeroes Travis Touchdown]]. "Let the bloodshed begin!" indeed. * [[{{Tropers/Exusia}} Exusia:]] Am I the only person who's managed to drop an airplane on himself? ** I also found out that '''terrorists''' exist in this, and they go around committing arson. So, I duct-taped Heaven and Hell, and as I ''cut up Hell with a scythe, he burned Heaven to the ground''. Oh, and did I mention that '''I KILLED SATAN''' in the process of this? Because I did. ** Also, in Action 2-3, the one with the heist, for some inexplicable reason ''another security guard came in and beat the living shit out of the ones that were there'', causing me to fail the mission. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. ** Puzzle 2-8?: Tried to put the things on the counter, and accidentally hit the cashier with an orange. She started going apeshit and attacking me with it! And she survived a grenade, too. * I recently discovered that "Lemming"s will hurl themselves off of "Cliff"s. Also, I once had the UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny: Me, armed with Death's scythe, GeorgeWashington, armed with a ''spork'', and Big Foot, armed with a '''rail gun''', teamed up to take down Cthulhu. We won, but Big Foot died heroically in battle, leaving only me and Sporkington. ** I also randomly created Death and replaced his scythe with a bowl of guacamole. He's still carrying it around. ** Shoggoth is immune to Ununseptium radiation poisoning, but Cthulhu isn't. ** I was bored, so I created a ninja shark and began throwing a mangosteen at it repeatedly. I then created an enviromentalist, who ignored the shark and became fascinated by the mangosteen. I got rid of the shark, and then tried picking up the mangosteen. The enviromentalist started attacking me as punishment for separating her from her precious mangosteen, so I dropped it. She didn't care. I gave her the mangosteen. She started beating me up with it. ** Just killed myself on the sandbox. I made a mech, climed in, and glued a propeller to the top of it. The mech began to lazily float upwards, and went off screen, killing me. Bizarre. ** Glue is fun. Especially summoning several random objects and gluing them together into a BambooTechnology HumongousMecha. This once included a whale glued to Om Nom Nom Nom with a dialysis machine for one arm and the Large Hadron Collider for another, with a frog for a head. *** This troper constructed one of those using two [=LHCs=] for legs glued to a plank at the top to hold them together, with a lift (elevator) as the body, an om nom nom nom as the head, a lamp post for one arm and a pole for the other. It is a bit unstable though and there is the temptation to activate an LHC and make a black hole that consumes the lot. **** ThisTroper has constructed another, using a fridge as the body, girders as the legs (glued to a plank at the top), a pole as one arm, a dialysis machine as the other, an omnomnomnom, as the head and a battery as the bots HeartDrive. * I just witnessed Death kill Cthulu with FUCKING GUACAMOLE.

* This Troper just discovered Gorillas can both be used as mounts and ride thier own mounts. Motorcycle -> As amny gorillas as you can -> Maxwell = UNSTOPPABLE GORILLA TOWER CYCLE OF DOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! (Patent Pending) * This Troper has discovered that gluing five pontoons together makes a good vehicle platform, for example glue a tank to the middle pontoon and you can DRIVE THE PONTOONS USING THE TANK! * Make a mech, put a man in, the mech will walk around like the man would if he wasn't in anything. Now, feed the man arsenic, he will collapse (while still in the mech) and the mech will KEEP WALKING IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY! I'm not sure what to make of this... * Discovered a glitch. If you move Rick Roll around while he's doing his dance, and put him in a wall, then even after he poofs he'll stay there, unable to be moved. I haven't done this enough times to see if this freezes the game, however. * When playing Scribblenauts, I try to restrict myself to using fantasy/medieval objects, and when playing the missions, I am a Native American Shaman. Anyways, odd Scribblenauts moments: ** Death killed me...with a platypus. ** I killed Death...with his scythe. ** I rode a stack of painted pandas. ** Have you ever rode a fawn over a tornado? ** Einstien, yes, ''Einstien'', will eat arsenic. ''Arsenic.'' ** If a snake attacks a lawyer, the snake dies. -Insert EvilLawyerJoke here** More coming soon! * Albeit with a different kind of dinosaur and only on the sandbox, [[AsterSelene this troper]] recreated 217. (It's not supposed to work without crashing, so it puzzles her to death.) * In honor of Super Scribblenauts, I decided to spend this week messing around in sandbox mode. I summoned a limo, attached a time machine to it, added a lightning rod (and a lightning cloud), and PRESTO, automatic time travel ''Back to the Future'' style. I warped back to the mideval period, and as soon as I landed crushed the king and his horse with my limo. Oops. The knight then comes over, and completely ''destroys'' the limo in one slice. For revenge on the knight for destroying my ride, I glued some TNT to him. He ran over to tearfully reunite with the princess... and exploded right over the bridge. Deciding to go all out, I drug the princess and throw her in the pool under the destroyed bridge, and stab the evil chancellor to death with a butcher's knife. Finally, to get Back to the Future, I summoned GOD, made him hostile to me, and tried to get him to activate the time machine while I was standing on top of it (self imposed challenge: never have Maxwell directly activate a time machine). Instead, God PICKS UP THE TIME MACHINE AND STARTS SHOCKING ONLY MAXWELL. He then THROWS the time machine, and I proceed to run over to the throne area, jumping over the gaping hole with a veeeery angry god in pursuit. As I'm cornered against the wall, I summon a new limo, and atemppt to run God over. HE PICKS UP THE LIMO, and proceeds to once again only shock me. I get free (after sustaining about three times the usually amount of shock it takes to kill Maxwell in story mode) , and drive off towards the time machine hoping to jumpstart it with a

few cables... completely forgeting that the bridge was out, driving into the water, and killing myself. I love this game. * Lassoing a tornado sends you both flying into space, making you instantly twice as awesome as Pecos Bill. ** You can kick over a tornado, too. As in, knock over a tornado. With your bare feet. * This Troper turned a Noob evil with earth magic, then when the Noob ran towards me, I put him on a pogo stick. The game crashed. * I've put Max in a straightjacket, attachted him to an electric hair with handcuffs, and made him run around (this is on the title screen where he is near-invincible). The electric shocks resulted him in running through mid-air and eventually being launched off the screen, killing him. * One level involves stopping an alien in a UFO from stealing cows. At first, I figure the best way to go about this is to get Max in a [=FIGHTER JET=] to fly up and attack the UFO. Except I completely space out and forget the jet ''itself'' has weapons on board (that is, missiles), leaving me doing little more than blocking the UFO's progress. So I immediately take the most obvious action and give Max a [=CHAINSAW=]. The mental image I had of Max heroically leaping out of a fighter jet, chainsaw in hand, to attack that cow-stealing alien bastard directly was pretty awesome, but the fact that it '''actually worked''' and the UFO was downed made it more awesome. * How about God in a mech holding a laser sword and wearing a top hat??? Versus Cthulu wearing a helmet??? With The Devil in a tank??? In the end only God lives, but his mech is destroyed. * Stage 3-4 can be beaten by having a Yeti attack all the kids, provided they don't die. * One of the early puzzle stages has you giving candy to three kids on Halloween. [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} I]] tossed a grenade instead, and that worked. * This Tropper found out that spawning Santa on the trick or treat level causes you to win, but also crashes the game. * The last stage can be beaten with two items....[[spoiler: handcuffs]] and [[spoiler: garbage can]] * Summon Medusa. Summon a mirror. [[spoiler: Medusa dies.]] * What is an octopad, and why does my game crash every time I try to summon one? * Don't remember the puzzle number, unfortunately, but it's the one where you have to rescue two sailors suspended from the ceiling of a sea cave and guarded by a shark, battleship, submarine, and some mines, then bring them back to an aircraft carrier for extraction. I got very frustrated trying to drag the idiots back, even after getting rid of the enemies in a variety of creative fashions, and eventually said 'screw it', dropped a toaster or three on the enemies ('''ZAP!'''), summoned a whale, rode it, ''lassoed the aircraft carrier'' and dragged it underwater, into the cave, and over to the trapped sailors. Starite get! * This troper tried to save the dad at Puzzel world 9-7 (I think, the image has a girl and a mom infront of a rundown house) It took 8 times but I raped the Start button (Sorry start button. It was for a good cause), summoned repellent, and the Zombies left the dad and he

SURVIVED! YOU HEARD ME! Zombies got scared of repellent and they need BRAIIIINS! I then attacked them literally saying, "THIS IS FOR THE DAD!" In the end, the dad was with the girl and mom, and I got a happy smile on all of the faces with the starite! [[spoiler: And in Epic Mickey, I launched the Gremlim on the Catapult!]] * If you put two "halflings" together, nothing will happen, but if you hand one of them a ring, the other will become hostile and kill the first for it. This troper remembers testing many different combinations of halflings, elves, wizards, dwarves, and humans, but doesn't remember the outcomes. * If you put certain animals on a heat source (preferably a grill so that they don't run off or two campfires situated so that they bounce back and forth) they eventually turn into meat. A chicken turns into a butchered, deafeathered chicken and then into a roast chicken; a cow turns to a steak and promptly cooks; a pig turns into ground pork; et cetera. * [[Tropers/{{Yomegami}} I]] don't have this game, but I dearly want to know if it's possible to get Cthulhu to ride a motorcycle and what happens if it is. * [[@/AwesomeZombie22 This Troper]] decided to dress Maxwell up with a lot of outfits, and here's the list of the uniforms she made up. ** Rapscallion: Newsboy Hat, Jacket, Leg Warmers, Spring Shoes / Roller-Skates, and a Hockey Stick. ** [[TeamFortress2 The Spy]]: Balaclava, Tuxedo, Boots, and Butterfly Knife / Revolver / Wristwatch (sadly, cigarettes can't be spawned). ** YamatoNadeshiko: Kimono, Ballet Slippers, Hand Fan ** BadassBiker: Skull Cap, Denim Jacket, Jeans, Combat Boots, and (of course) a Motorcycle ** [[ElegantGothicLolita Elegant Maxwell]]: Bonnet, Puffy Shirt, Petticoat, Socks. * [[Tropers/{{NicklePlatedStephen}} This troper]] got Santa to kill a reindeer with a raygun. '''''Super Scribblenauts''''' * '''''Super Scribblenauts''''' has some FUNNY new things to try, thanks to the adjectives. For example, you could summon a "father" and a "baby" and the father would be all goo-goo-gah-gah on the baby. Now summon an EVIL baby and watch the father run in horror while being chased by [[EnfantTerrible a sadistic, bloodthirsty monster in diapers!]] * Adjectives are POWER. For example, part of the risk of summoning, say, Cthulhu was that he'd spawn hostile and pretty much annihilate anything in his way. Now summon GOOD Cthulhu instead and what you'll get is an abominable eldritch PUPPY more than happy to give you a ride. ** Probably the best way the usefulness of adjectives manifests is with ''potions''. When you create a potion, any adjective you adjunct to it becomes the potion's effect, allowing you to put an adjective on ''anything''. The most vicious enemies in the game can easily be dealt with just by hitting them with a Friendly Potion, or you can render a mission-important NPC completely risk-free by using an Indestructible

Potion on him. the possibilities are endless. * "Flying Colossal Zombie House", anyone? * This troper has way to much fun the the Deadly [[{{BFS}} Zanbato]] ** How about [=RIDABLE ROCK=]? ** This same troper discovered that [=BOMBER=] (a person who detonates bombs) is afraid of politicians. But he attacks [=PRESIDENT=]. * This troper, when playing her boyfriend's copy, (since she doesn't have one yet) made a hyperactive nuclear flying omnipotent indestructible rideable explosive . . . (more adjectives that she forgot) . . . kangaroo. She proceeded to ride it . . . until it exploded and killed her. ** The same troper spawned a "flying flightless reindeer" and a "flightless flying reindeer". One of them flew and the other didn't. Unfortunately, she can't remember which one did what. Help, anyone? *** "flightless flying reindeer" is the one the flies, from what I can tell if the adjectives are mutually exclusive the second one take priority. * In the new game, you can make ''anything'' a nuke by using the adjective "nuclear". I discovered that by trying to make a [[{{Touhou}} nuclear raven]]. ** "Final" does this too. * Have you tried the adjective "lovecraftian" yet? I made a lovecraftian Guy Fawkes mask and started flying around wearing it. * "Suicidal" is an adjective in Super Scribblenauts. [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin It works exactly like you'd expect it to.]] ** Give a "suicidal man" a gun. WHEEEEEEEEEEE * There are at least five different sizes you can change things to. Is there a word for bigger than Colossal? ** Sadly not, it seems. Through experimentation with shrink and growth guns, the list runs: Molecular, Tiny, Shrunken, Small, Medium, GoodSized, Large, Great, Huge, Mega, Colossal. Any other size words (eg. Giant) have the same results as one of these. * Bad Girl attacks [=NPCs=]. Adorable Girl (who looks normal) reacts to [=NPCs=] variously with [[SayItWithHearts "<3"]] and [[CuriousAsAMonkey "?"]]. Adorable Girl loves Bad Girl ''[[BadassAdorable and ends up]] [[LoveMakesYouCrazy killing her]]'' ** I tried this out for myself, but I also happened to have a lake there. So Adorable Girl ''nearly'' killed Bad Girl, but then Bad Girl ran off, jumped in the lake, and wouldn't come out. * Here's some cool stuff that happened while I was playing: ** In the level where you have to serve the right dish to customers, I made an anthropomorphic salad for the health-conscious lady. The salad goes over to the lady to make friends with her. The lady simply [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman grabs the salad and eats it]]. Also, fed the guy who wants spicy food an Exploding Kebab, which apparently counts. Unfortunately since the guy dies it's a game over. ** Liz, formerly a zombie, is now a kickass pirating lady who ''turns other people into pirates''. ** Evil God apparently counts as an [[BoltOfDivineRetribution extinction event]]. *** This troper used a black hole on that level.

*** This troper used a tsunami, which is also a handy way to get the [[KaizoTrap Skin Of Your Teeth]] merit. ** Female Male gives you a... normal Male. At first glance. Then the bubble pops up... ** Random is a pretty awesome adjective. It's, well, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin random]]. Frost-breathing is a cool one too. * Potions. They are ''awesome''. Applying any adjective you like to any target that isn't a switch or a steel door is not to be underestimated; even if your foe is attacking you, a few HP is a low price to pay to enslave them. As a general rule, I add a texture and/or color to all my potions, to ID what I've hit and tell what I'm using at a glance. ** If there's ever a threat I'm not allowed to kill, I pour some "[[TakenForGranite inanimate granite potion]]" on them. Evidently, [[AndIMustScream this doesn't kill them]] ** For dealing with anything in my way that isn't a steel door or part of the level, a dash of "temporary potion" will erase a target from existence. For maximum effectiveness, especially if I'm on bomb squad duty, a "temporary useless immobile garish potion" will annihilate any threat; the "garish" is to make ''sure'' the thing has been dealt with. ** Defusing trip wires, however, requires a more delicate tool; "temporary" will make them trigger as soon as they vanish. I go with "transparent white useless potion," so I can mark the defused trip wires and easily tell the potion itself from my explosives defuser. ** Taming beasts is, in my experience, best done with a "loyal flying supersonic invincible starry potion." You can charge your enemy in melee combat, and have the potion stuffed down their gullet before they get a single blow in if you're fast. Now you've got a distinctive battle mount/guardian. ** Playground experimentation has armed me with [[InfinityPlusOneSword the greatest weapon of all]]: "Useless Vampiric Potion." Put a sun in the background, and anything you pour this stuff on will poof away in a gentle cloud of ash, ''instantly''. Now I just need a way to grant adjectives to targets at a distance... ** Different troper from above. [[{{Tropers/Lightflame}} This troper's]] favourite potion is the "Giant Fire-Breathing Nice Rideable Flying" Potion. Try using it on a king. * ThisTroper made a [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment King King]]. * They've made Death a bit tougher than his previous incarnation. OneHitKill on, as far as I can tell, ''anything''. Even the "invincible" adjective is insufficient, and Maxwell can't even survive the reaper's touch on the playground. ** Try spawning an armless Death. That renders him rather [[IncrediblyLamePun 'armless.]] *** [[spoiler: He's still deadly.]] *** Impotent Death works, as well. * Creating a Crazy Lady gives you... Ophelia, apparently. See what happens when you put her near any body of water. * It is possible to create a friendly leather rainbow Cthulhu and then make him wear a tiara. Gaythulhu is the best thing ever.

* The [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Golden Flying Lethal Fast Indestructible Shiny]] '''[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Microscopic]]''' [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Ridable Tank]]. Look at the flea-sized death toy go, WHEE! * In one puzzle you're tasked with playing Santa. Once you've figured out who lives in each house, you must put an appropriate gift in a box on the doorstep. One child was listed as "naughty." [[CompleteMonster I gave him a bomb.]] ''The game accepted my solution.'' ** I gave him a nuke! (I had to make it tinier so it would fit in the box, though.) * [[Tropers/ZootyCutie This Troper]] summoned a Crying Boy, gave him a Blue Hat, a Baseball Bat, and set him next to a Rainbow. [[TeamFortress2 I guess Spy was right about Scout...]] * I made someone "[[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent Were]]", made a Full Moon, then made a Sun right next to her. Then she cycled through her Were and non-Were forms every second. * Tropers/TorchicBlaziken went to the BadFuture and destroyed everything, even the moon. Then I brought out the sun, and made a meadow, garden, house and school, and a happy kid, mom, dad, and teacher. I saw that the hike up to school was difficult so I shoveled the path a bit and made stairs. I had effectively turned the CrapsackWorld into a SugarBowl. Everything was going great, until [[SugarApocalypse I brought out my Flare Gun and shot the kid with it.]] The result was unexpected. The kid started ''burning alive'', and when the mom and dad went to help him, they burned, too. Then the house burned. I shot the mom and dad repeatedly, and they died. The poor kid started running around until he died. I proceeded to shoot everything with my Flare Gun. Then, after realizing the MoralEventHorizon, I said MyGodWhatHaveIDone and made a traitor and gave him the flare gun. After the traitor would not betray me, I had an evil traitor do the deed. * [[{{Tropers/dorpadin}} This troper]] has found that every other vehicle in the game pales in comparison to the GIANT RIDEABLE MAGIC FLYING CORNDOG. ** For more good times, add a few LOYAL AGGRESSIVE FLYING INVINCIBLE HAMBURGERS/FRIES/HOTDOGS and equip them with ULTIMATE LASERGUNS. You become the flagship to an ''unstoppable fast-food army.'' * I discovered that if there are two Girlfriends on the screen, they will [[ThereCanBeOnlyOne battle each other to the death.]] If you make a Boyfriend, he will join in and fight one, but if the one on his side dies, he'll just hang with the other one. * Just saved the BadFuture by creating an invincible kind compassionate brave rebel to act as a leader, then added the sun, a garden, a bird, an adorable soft kitten (who did NOT go after the bird), and a kind woman. Then the object limit ran out so Maxwell traveled back to the present, feeling like a better person. * This Troper was happy to discover that Microraptor no longer summoned a pteranodon, and instead summoned a feathered dinosaur. * Phoenix + Mermaid = ''Flaming mermaid.'' * In the level where you're supposed to scare your friends, I gave myself a [[FridayTheThirteenth hockey mask and knife.]] * Here's a really cool trick. Summon a "rideable man". Now summon

another one and make him ride the first guy. You can make a tower of men! You can even ride on the whole thing as a vehicle! ** Even better if you summon "rideable cloned man", which spawns two of them - you can make the tower in half the time! Then use "huge potion" on the bottom one, which makes them ''all'' huge, and climb onto your immense wobbly man-tower... ** [[BeyondTheImpossible You can also give them jetpacks and FLY your giant man tower]]. * This troper made DaftPunk. Daft is an accepted adjective, and it combined with Punk to make a gangster wearing a dunce hat. There happened to be a bottle of glue nearby, so he walked over and ATE IT. Okay.... so much for summoning Daft Punk. * [[FetishFuel "Naked" is an adjective.]] ** [[FetishRetardant But it's not really making them naked, unfortunately.]] * Lalalei2001 discovered wily scientists run scared from rebels. Rebels look like Panther from TheProtomen. ** Following that, I put one in between two rebels and he ran back and forth panicking. I gave him a weapon out of curiosity, but he was too scared to fire. ** Rebels also like chainsaws and flamethrowers, and will run to pick them up. * This troper summoned an immortal battleship and placed it in lava. I then proceeded to spawn Cthulhu in the lava. Cue me defeating a flaming Cthulhu in a lake of lava in a flaming battleship. * Three words. [[OneWingedAngel Colossal Demonic Doppelganger]]. Even better when weilding a Colossal Red Scythe. ** Works awesome with Death too. * Explosive Rick Roll is this Troper's favorite weapon, besides Mines and Rocket Launchers. * Spawn a Ridable Head. Hilarity Ensues. * Try spawning a pedophobic Baba Yaga next to a child. "Aagh!" Various other phobias work, but unfortunately, summoning a phobophobic president doesn't summon {{FDR}}. * I once made a canine Policeman and a human Police Dog, and gave a leash to the dog, and attached the leash to the Policeman. {{Hilarity Ensues}}. * I used the Cheerleader avatar and put on the Birthday Suit[[{{Hermaphrodite}} .]][[{{Pettanko}} .]][[NoJustNo .]] ** I'm currently using [[{{Squick}} Ben Franklin in a Birthday Suit]]. * If you get a car separated from it's wheels (one way to do this is a tornado), you can ride the car's seemingly immobile body like it still had wheels. This would be great if Maxwell got a flat. ** Unrelatedly, I used said car to drive over a cat. The cat DESTROYED MY CAR. * Spawning Maxwell now causes the doppelganger to spawn random objects with random adjectives. Kill him, and you can pick up the notebook and use it yourself or give it to anyone for the same effect! Hours of fun. You can also directly spawn the notebook(M-A-X-W-E-L-L-'-S N-O-TE-B-O-O-K) * Ultimate weapon = 2 chains attached to an engine. Pick up the engine. Try to move. Maybe spawn some enemies around you. Laugh. For

bonus fun, attach laser swords to the chains! * I had to give a guy courage. An online guide recommended using a bravery potion or some sort of therapy specialist. I gave him a bodyguard. The fact that worked amuses me to no end. ** My first thought was to give him a laser, which also worked. *** On the same level, with the "blue" kid, you can solve that by painting him red. I tried the same thing later in the game on the drowning man. The game accepted that as a solution. It's good to know you can help both a drowning victim and a sad child using paint. * My vehicle of choice is a tamed supersonic Cthulhu wearing a top hat and monocle. Nothing is more soothing than flying around on its back and shooting babies with a rocket launcher. * Experimenting with adjectives, I created a "miraculous (synonymous with "super") adventurer." When she walked by Maxwell, she spawned the "striped winged bathtub" pictured on the boxart. Okay, seemed simple enough. Nothing of great interest though. So after a few more inconclusive tests, I finally decided that the time had come to destroy her; I typed in "gun", fired... and watched with horror as the adventurer caught the bullet and spontaneously morphed it into a Starite. She then proceeded to make the bullet/Starite fucking explode in her hand, doing minimal damage to herself while also causing her to suddenly attain both the "huge" and the "hostile" attributes... The next half minute or so included Maxwell shooting for dear life with a "Ray Gun" and a "Freeze Ray", only to have his shots turn into more exploding Starites, a destroyed bunker, the poisonous bite of a desperately spawned "friendly rideable Ouroborus," a triumphantly spawned "chainsaw," and the terrifying realization that a "miraculous adventurer," when turning "huge hostile (in response to being attacked, by say, a chainsaw)," can cure herself of poison simultaneously. ** I eventually put her inside a "colossal reinforced weightless cage," which Maxwell promptly kicked into the stratosphere. * There are some events that happened to this Troper that were highly amusing: ** There is one level that asks you to causa an "extinction event" on some dinosaurs without weapons or asteroids. Cue me summoning a homicidal pink superpowered Cthulhu, that promptly killed all the dinos in one hit and tried to kill me too.''The game accepted my solution''. ** The one with the long animals (the dinosaur and the giraffe). I was asked to find a similar animal. I put in a [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "long]] [[LOLCats Longcat]]".Sadly, it didn't work. ** Accidentally one-hit destroying a building ''with a spike''. ** An insane God with sunglasses, giant blue wings and a katana riding a tame giant invincible insane rainblow-colored Cthulhu.It was as awesome as it sounds. * This troper got 827 on the Arcade Machine MiniGame. She's not sure if that's good, but...hey, why don't you guys post your high scores to make her fele inadequate? * This troper summoned Death, then gave him a Dead Potion. And then she got Dead Death. It was confusing and hilarious!

* On the exploding barrel level, this troper mistyped "invincible balloon" and ended up with an "invincible baboon". It worked. ** She later found she could summon a Rideable Flying Invincible Maxwell. Riding said object gives you invincibility against some objects. * My brother and I had an arms race of sorts: I would make an "Evil" object (To grant both sentience and agressiveness), he would make another Evil one to fight it, the loser would make another, and so on. Some of the best examples: ** Giant Cybernetic George Washington ** Giant Radioactive Shakespeare ** Fat Death ** Bright Pink Shoggoth ** Fire-Breathing Santa ** Fancy Gangster with a Fire-Breathing Guitar ([[DonkeyKongCountry The guitar got up and fought on its own after the gangster died]].) ** Winged Basalt ** ''Flying Museum'' ** Stupid Cowlike Cthulhu vs. Frozen Pumpkin with Chainsaw (Stalemate, Pumpkin was too frozen to move and Cthulhu was too stupid to attack.) ** Colossal Piratic Centipede ** Winged Electrical Water (Puddle) ** Glowing Clown with Machete ** Demonic Gargantuan Doorstop ** Red Rubber Chupacabra ** Bigfoot with Railgun ** Armored Telekinetic Tree ** Green Witch riding a Tank ** Striped Greenhouse ** Not used in battle, but a '''Rideable Sentient Fire-Breathing Winged Superpowered Water (Puddle)'''. * Taking Evil Maxwell's notebook is a great way to find out about amusing, if often useless, objects in the game. A few memorable ones: ** Communist banana bread (anthropomorphic banana bread carrying a hammer) ** A bardlike CB Radio (an anthropomorphic cb radio with a lute) ** An exposed Siamese (a shaved Siamese cat) ** An insecticidal cherry tree (it looked just like a regular cherry tree, but sure enough, when I typed in "bug", the bug in question tried to eat a cherry and died) ** A cheesy dinosaur (as in a dinosaur made out of cheese) ** Barbaric velvet (a swatch of fabric with a mace that was absolutely determined to kill Maxwell) ** A misogynistic gutter (I created a woman just to see what would happen, and the gutter very quickly killed her. Then I felt bad, so I had a feminist robot avenge her death). * [[Tropers/LordBlumiere This Tropette]] found that one can create a BoringInvincibleHero. ** You can also have a (literal) HeroicMime. * Shockingly, even more insanity can come from things that don't act as you expect them to. In the wedding gift level (with the ex, who needs a gift snuck out of the wedding), [[Tropers/MWchase I]] had no

trouble getting past the first part, but the second proved more problematic, since I'd gotten a good portion of the way through the game without familiarizing myself with [[spoiler:containers]]. As such, I can tell you that, without resorting to the spoiler, the following will not work: hypnotizing or otherwise mind-whammying the Bride, Groom, and Security Guard. Knocking them out. Blinding them. Turning the present loyal and intangible, and getting it to follow you out. Turning the present invisible, and carrying it out. Using teleporters to take the present to the beginning of a new iteration of the level. Switching said alternate-universe present with its "true" counterpart. Turning the Ex invisible and smuggling him ''in''. ... Wait, I think I should check whether it's possible to stuff everyone into boxes, so they can't see anything. ** Dammit. That didn't work. (This is world 6-11, for the record.) Getting them in the box was simple enough, but their psychic knowings... eugh. This is my personal ScrappyLevel, especially considering that [[spoiler:putting the gift in ''a bag'']] is a correct answer. ** Different person from the above - I was amused when I re-did that level three times for an achievement and discovered that [[spoiler: putting the gift inside of another, identical-looking gift box]] is also an answer. Also, I got to put Maxwell in a wedding dress. * This troper found that on 2-2 (the level where you help the man skydive), creating a "soft" anything and putting it at the bottom replicates the object and counts as a solution. So she created a Soft Cthulu, which killed the skydiving man as he fell, but it didn't matter because he got down safely (?) and she got the Starite anyway. ** This troper highly recommends a "temporary parachute." For the evulz, of course. * Also, I've played as the Shakspeare avatar, stacked him up on a load of other rideable William Shakspeares, stacked them up on a load of rideable Julius Caesars, and placed a Friendly Rideable Baby Cthulu on the bottom. D'aww! * Upon looking over his Merits, this troper realized that he did not get the Hypnotized merit. After reading this page, he put in a Hypnotic Birthday Suit, put it on, and walked past a woman and got his merit. He then did the same to a Man. Of course, the result was the same, to this troper's disgust. * Here's a fun challenge: find how many interesting ways to beat the first level using only the things produced by Maxwell's Notebook. I've taken out the tree with a barrel gun, ridden an archaeopteryx, and dropped a fan on it, just to name three methods. ** I got it by... *** Throwing metal, a cash regester, and food at the real starite. *** Riding a green kangeroo, a orstrish, and a giant, flying, rideable, crab to the starite. *** Grappeling, lassoing, and chopping the tree. *** Using a tornado, DJINN, and a Magic wand. * Interacting with a Djinn will cause her to perform a single action up to three times before she decides to leave. Actions include summoning peculiar vehicles (helibackpack, tiltarotor, hovertank, etc.), making Maxwell a king with subjects, creating precious items,

giving interesting adjectives to nearby objects, etc. Try to interact four times, however... * Shooting a beartrap from a cannon will trap any successful victim in place. * [[MSPaintAdventures You are quite certain there has never been, and never will be, a Temporary Pumpkin in this game.]] * Have you ever summoned the ''[[InvulnerableAttack Invincible]] [[OneHitKill Deadly]] [[SuperSpeed Supersonic]] [[AttackDrone RC Heli]][[LethalJokeItem pcopter]]'' and released it upon an unsuspecting mob located at the other corner of the map? [[ManlyTears It almost brought a tear to my eye]]. [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome It's so pure, so graceful, so beautiful. Sublime.]] * I tried to create a [[TheDeterminator Determinator]] by summoning a ''[[FearlessFool Brave]] [[IGotBetter Resurrecting]] [[TheEveryman Man]]''. Unfortunately, I discovered that after being killed, the guy retained the Resurrecting adjective, [[DespairEventHorizon but NOT the Brave one]]. So, instead of getting a [[BadassAbnormal super-charged]] [[ThePrincessBride Inigo]] [[HeroicSecondWind Montoya]], I got a poor terrified guy that [[FateWorseThanDeath kept resurrecting against its will as a Dragon killed again, and again, and again]]. [[BlackComedy It was actually kind of funny (in a sick, twisted way)]], but [[TheWoobie extremely tragic if put in perspective]]. * Fun fact: anything in the witch's battle mission can win with use of the word "RADIOACTIVE". * A genie gives you three wishes. You can get vehicles, treasures, fake Starites, or followers from the genie. The genie can also apply random adjectives to items that happen to be around. (That is also how I found out about the Numerical adjective, which turns something black with green numbers.) On the fourth wish, the genie drops bombs from the sky and disappears. Also Santa vs. Tooth Fairy vs. Easter Bunny. [[spoiler: The Tooth Fairy wins.]] * One level puts you in a child's room and asks what he wants to be when he grows up, based on toys found lying around. One of the toys is a "fireman's helmet", one of the accepted answers is "arsonist". * Giving a "weaver" some "string (yarn)" will cause her to spawn a few articles of random clothing. I am currently the proud owner of a full body chicken costume. * The liberal application of Colossal Balloons is a fun way to destroy things. * Items placed inside various objects don't always shrink with their containers. This troper once stuffed a "colossal cannon" to the brim with "sword," then used the "shrink ray" till Maxwell could hold the "cannon" like a weapon. Upon interacting with the cannon, the playground simply faded to black, and opened to the start menu, as it would have if Maxwell died. But not without offering the brief glimpse of a STREAM of swords flying out of Maxwell's hand. ** I tried that once with laptops. I saw a huge laptop fly across the screen slowly in the middle of a blue bar, then fall through the ground. * I love to use the adjective "DAPPER." I once created a "DAPPER GHOST." Amused by how party-ready he looked, I decided to use a WHITE POTION on his hat (to make it fit him better) and summoned a PRETTY

GHOST to be his lovely wife. They looked ready for a fancy party, so, I decided, why not hold one? After setting out a GHOSTLY TABLE with a GHOSTLY SNACK, I invited all the fanciest ghosts there. There were a plethora of [[PacMan multicolored ghosts]], a [[SuperMarioBros Shy Ghost]], a [[{{Ghostbusters}} Slimy Ectoplasmic Ghost]], and, of course, a [[CasperTheFriendlyGhost Friendly Ghost.]] And we partied 'til the break of dawn! * When this troper realized "fertile" was a valid adjective, she had experiment for a while. Some conclusions: ** Put a [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar fertile woman]] next to Maxwell and wait for her to walk by him. Suddenly, babies ''everywhere''. ** A [[HoYay fertile man]] will get the job done as well. And for that matter, so will any other human, including fertile Abraham Lincoln, although the game glitches fantastically if you put one of the Baby Abraham Lincoln's into the "mother's" arms. [[spoiler:They all become hostile toward each other and fight to the death. One can only imagine what they'd do to each other if there's a nearby weapon.]] ** Fertile non-humans need another fertile non-human of the same type before they have their population explosion, though. So you'd need a Fertile God + Fertile God, Fertile Cat + Fertile Cat, Fertile Cthulhu + Fertile Cthulhu... ** So, I had a fertile woman (well, now a skinny motherly fertile woman) with a whole lot of babies, and then typed in "mean man", hoping he'd attack a baby and the mom's MamaBear instinct would kick in. He did in fact try to attack a baby. However, the mother didn't do anything, and instead [[LittleMissBadass all of the babies chased him to the end of the screen and killed him.]] The baby army fares less well against monsters or anyone who's armed though. *** Oh, and for a similar effect I had a fertile vampire slayer, then brought in a vampire. The mother was the one who finished the job, but her daughters all tried to chip in with their tiny stakes. Aww. ** Another time, I put a fertile girlfriend with a boyfriend, not expecting anything unusual. What I hadn't anticipated was that ''baby'' girlfriends would still fight each other for the affection of the boyfriend. The boyfriend got killed in the resulting melee, the fertile girlfriend kept giving birth every time one of the baby girlfriends died, and I essentially had an endless tyke riot[[hottip:*:AGoodNameForARockBand perhaps?]] on my hands. ** I had a weird glitch happen with a fertile apelike woman - her "pregnant" shape was weirdly stretched out, she started floating several feet above her offspring, and she couldn't be dragged anywhere. * Apparently, even blind people can be petrified by a gorgon. * God hates lazy people. It's apparently a seven deadly sins thing, because he also attacks anyone who's proud, envious or greedy. ** One of the 7 sins is "Sloth." * I recently discovered "Radical" is a valid adjective, and anything you apply it to will be wearing a green mohawk. I find "radical penguin" and "radical ferret" especially cute. * I was on the level with the Ninja Shark, and needed to think of something that would be able to defeat it. My first thought was a Robotic Shark... It worked, but not the way I planned. You see, I had

forgotten that robots are electric, so instead of battling it out with the Ninja Shark like I anticipated, once I put it in the ocean, my Robotic Shark just died instantly, electrocuting the Ninja Shark in the process. RIP Robotic Shark, your heroic sacrifice shall always be remembered. * It took this troper some time and the target running around the sandbox screen faster than I could tap my stylus because it took so long to drain health, but I finally managed to kill a haberdasher with a melon baller. * Onmipotent dogs, anyone? * How do I spawn that one character that looks like a GenderFlipped Maxwell? * The Maxwell's Notebook item has been the source of many shenanigans for this troper. Once, she got a [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness puritanical, centaurian]] apple pie, and then a fattening fraternity brother, who ''ate the apple pie''. Another time, she got [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome a panda bear with a flamethrower]]. ** Also, she made a [[{{Vocaloid}} WRATHFUL RED WOMAN, gave her a SWORD, and put her in a CAGE. Then, she made a DEAD BLUE MAN. Then, she put PRETTY GREEN PIGTAILS and a GREEN DRESS on Maxwell. Finally, she created a pair of CURIOUS YELLOW TWINS and put WONDERLAND (which comes out as HEAVEN, just so you know) next to them. And, as a finishing touch, she put a SPADE by the CAGE, a DIAMOND by the DEAD BLUE MAN, gave a CLUB to Maxwell, and dropped a HEART on the TWINS.]] It was glorious. ** DECENT HUMAN BEING aliases to GOD. Make of that what you will. *** Somehow just the word "being" aliases to "god", so it's likely that it parsed both "decent" and "human" as adjectives there. * [[Tropers/CyanideESpeon I]] frequently go to the future via Time Machine. Quite a few times I killed Cole Phillips, the Cyborg, and the Metal Android, allowing them to rest in peace (because even if you break up the fight, they would still be stuck in that one spot for eternity.) My eyes sometimes get slightly damp when I think of it... * As far as pop culture references go, I've [[SmashingPumpkins summoned a vampiric earth and put an angry rat inside a cage]]. * I've found that it's possible to make mounts ''faster'' that "SUPERSONIC," by means of other speed-increasing adjectives so long as they ''are not synonyms.'' "CAFFEINATED" works well (and if you can't spell that, just make your mount of choice "THIRSTY" and then make them some COFFEE or SODA). Also, words like LIVELY and ENERGETIC work, though they're synonymous. Still, though an application of these three words, I've managed to make a SUPERSONIC CAFFEINATED LIVELY pterodactyl break the sound barrier. * I was depressed that the TIRE SWING summoned through the notebook can't be ridden on, so I made my own! All it took was a GIANT TREE, some ROPE, and a FAST RIDEABLE TIRE. Wheeee! * On the level where you have to fix some things at a school, one task you have is to capture some loose hamsters. I thought a HAMSTER CAGE would do the job, right? Well, I didn't realize that said cage comes pre-equipped with hamsters, as it were--and that those hamsters would be unexpectedly loyal to their kinsmen when I tried to pick them up. Cause of death on that level: Mauled by a hoard of angry hamsters.

* No matter how intelligent you make them--from the merely "SMART" to the downright "OMNIPOTENT"--if a DUNCE sees an insect, then the dunce is going to have lunch, and the bug is going to have a very bad day. * "SOAPY" is a new favorite adjective of mine. It makes whatever it is emit clouds of bubbles periodically. I can dig it! And when you make a DEADLY SOAPY FLAME SWORD, well, so much for what they say about a BubbleGun, eh? * I accidentally came across the word "Scribblehotz" on the typo correction thing. Using it summons a setient MEGA 64 logo that confuses [=NPCs=] who get near it. Yeah, I dont know either. ** Ah, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r_zD_UqunA here's what this is all about]]. That's a pretty cool tribute. * I typed up 4 wolfs, 4 vampires and a boxing ring. And I added a moon in the sky. It was to represent Jacob and Edward from twilight. The vampires won and they all survived! Until I added a sun and they turned to dust... * The adventure of Leeory Jenkins. I typed up [[WorldofWarcraft LEEORY JENKINS]], strong and angry, and I made him attack a cowboy wearing a meatheat annd sideburns, satan with a sword, and FEEP riding a elephant with a tophat and sideburns. Leeory won all of them! Then I added a tiger, and Leeory won. Then I added heaven, completed with angels and God, and Leeroy beaten them! Then I conjoured up a flaming chainsaw which BURNED heaven, and gave satan a pitchfork. Leeory won again! Then I saved heaven with a flying crying ORCA, like in the commercial! Then, I summoned a brave zombie, a dad with repellent, and a baby. That was the end of Leeory Jenkins, the baby, and the zombie. But not the dad Ironically, since a level has him being eaten. * My vehicle of choice? A Flying Cosmic Shiny Supersonic Otherworldy White Loyal Predatory Legendary Immortal Goat. * Notable things {{Tropers/Slouch}} has done in Super Scribblenauts: ** Riding an invincible lively caffeinated supersonic jumping pogo stick ** Killing God with a spork ** Feeding a nuclear banana to a monkey ** Using an invincible forklift with a steel spike glued to it to kill zombies ** [[ZergRush Summoning an army of violent brave hippies and getting them to gang up on powerful monsters]] * This troper tried to time travel, but ended up in the first level in the original Scribblenauts. Maxwell,the tree, the ledge that was used for nothing and the starite. And that starite is collectable and required for 100% completion. * Try wrtiting in MAN CANNON. You get a cannon which fires ''clowns.'' * This troper set a building on fire by selecting "play" on it with an "electric electric guitar (an electric guitar with the electric adjective)". Power of rock, baby. * [[AyaReiko This troper]] made [[{{Touhou}} a "Stupid Ice Fairy", a "Misty Lake", and a "Scarlet Mansion"]]. Sadly, "Devil" is not a valid adjective. ** But "Demonic" is. And "Devilish," too, iirc. * "Epic Sonic Crimson Sentient Tiny Immortal Mech." Ladies and gentleman, I introduce: PoweredArmor.

* {{drcinnamon}}. 4x God + Behemoth = 5x God. 5x God + Butler Holding Ambrosia = Entourage of Gods and a Butler. * I got bored and decided to give myself the self-imposed challenge of killing every living thing on every open sandbox starting screen using only what was already there (I could type in anything I wanted, so long as it wasn't being used to kill anyone directly). I succeeded on all counts except for the level that's a playground - no matter how many times you fling a ball at someone it doesn't seem to do any damage, and that's the only weapon-like item already on screen. The most awesome situations this challenge led to were 1) dropping a death worm on a magic blacksmith to kill him, then using the blacksmith's hammer to kill the death worm itself, and 2) luring the bogeyman out of the attic, getting him to kill mom and dad, and then killing him [[ImprobableWeaponUser with a hash brown]]. ** Just dig up the chest, open it, and throw the diamond. YAY! * Make an "Armed Deadly Molecular Boomerang." Give it a bigger weapon (sycthe, zanbato, chainsaw, etc). Equip it, and have fun. ** This troper highly recommends juggling boomerangs. Throw one the moment you catch it, and wait for the other to return to your hand. * This troper once summoned Heaven and Hell. Next, he summoned God, who proceeded to attack Hell. I moved him to the other side of the screen to finish setup. I gave God 2 angel sidekicks and summoned Satan and two demon minions for them to fight. "Team God" won almost instantly and resumed the destruction of hell. This was taking too long, so I gave an angel a flamethrower to speed up the process. He ends up burning both Hell AND Heaven. I deleted hell myself, and God kills the angel who burnt Heaven. * {{Rooster Helmet}} summoned an [[{{WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome}} Evil Unavoidable Fast Bear Suit]] on a Volcano level he created. The Bear Suit eventually annoyed him, so instead of putting it in the trash bin, he summoned an Invincible Rocketship and wrestled the Bear Suit into the volcano. * [[Tropers/MangaManiac This Troper]] was once stuck on a puzzle where he had to see two animals and then come up with a third similar one. I couldn't think of one, so I simply typed in "REINCARNATING MAN" and stuck him in the box, and then summoned "DEATH" to go in there and kill him again and again until he reincarnated into the right animal. It worked. * The first thing this Troper summoned after buying Super Scribblenauts? A [[Series/DoctorWho Blue Flying Cosmic Rideable Sonic Police Box]]. * "Gentlemanly" will give anything a [[HighClassGlass top hat and monocle]] when spawned. Now, try a Gentlemanly Monocle. * Here's a fun idea. You can make a bouncy house out of four "Indestructible, Immovable Trampolines" and positioning them with the bouncy side in. Go ahead and put stuff in it. ** At one point I glued six ships together and floated all of them. * This Troper (Marioking9) likes to play as Thor with a huge birthday suit, while holding a frozen freeze ray and magical ray gun. He also likes to clean and kill people with soapy clubs. ** He has also found out many fun ways to kill a FAE * This troper created a [[HouseOfLeaves Spacious, Labyrinthine]]

[[color:blue:House]] and an Ambiguous [[color:red:Minotaur.]] * This troper discovered you could summon a ''G string'' in the game! I added the adjective "wet" to it and PUT IT ON. Then put "rideable" before it and I was RIDING A WET G STRING! * This Troper discovered just how amazing the adjective "super" was. A super cow turns colossal when being milked, said milk turns into starites, and soon after explode. Super magnets are friendly, until they start attracting metal, then they're vicious and (she really wishes she knew what the magnet was doing, but alas it was off screen) soon the flying polka-dotted bathtub appeared! Unfortunately, [[TheFairlyOddParents the super bike and super toilet don't work as I thought they would]] * This troper loves gunfights in both games. However, In the first the AI will shoot their friends. In the second game, he had to make everyone bulletproof unless He wanted the cops shooting their friends, and then their friends fighting back. The AI in the games might have lots of artificial stupidity, and be too dumb to live on escort missions.... but atleast they can do some things right. * If you make a Dimorphodon flying, its wings flap. I also figured out that you can put things in a super gun and stuffed it full of stuff from Maxwell's Notebook for the Random Cannon! And after finding out "stylus" was a weapon, I killed a dragon with one. -''[[{{Scribblenauts}} B-A-C-K T-O S-C-R-I-B-B-L-E-N-A-U-T-S * poof* ]]'' <<|TroperTales|>>

Scrub * (This is also a bit long, so please bear with me) This troper sometimes gets called cheap for repeatedly using [[BlazBlue Taokaka's]] air dash move with such ferocity that the fight would sometimes drag on due to her becoming a constantly moving target, or it would end instantly the minute the air dash chains. What some people don't realize is that this troper has abysmally slow thumbs that can't execute specials at each fraction of a second, even for amateur standards, and that Taokaka's air dash is perhaps the simplest and best move to understand and use at a brisk pace (It's just Up/Down/Back/Forward+X by default) for someone like this troper. Another thing is that this air dash is probably one of the hardest for this troper to properly master because it has MANY variations, including a mid-air cancel to throw off timing or counters, and ''3 distance variations'' for the Back+X air dash: Short, Middle or Long. To even things out even more, the sheer speed of the directional changes makes her very hard to control, and can be prone to running into counters or throws, thus making this troper vulnerable to expert Hakumen or Tager players. * (This is a bit long, buckle yourself in)This troper's sister was a scrub at, of all things, [[SegaSuperstars Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing]], among other games. She forced her rules on me just because, and she would hit me and complain for doing things wrong, or even just

using my data. Some of her Scrub tendencies involve only playing as one character(Alex Kidd, a character who she had an unhealthy obsession with), only playing on the [[SambaDeAmigo]] tracks, saying I couldn't take specific item boxes or activate my [[LimitBreak AllStar]]..and forbid me from playing as my favorite character simply because she didn't want to waste credits on him. This is just the most recent case, as she twists other games even more horribly. For example, with [[BillyHatcherAndTheGiantEgg]], she made a "life game" out of multiplayer mode. What were the rules? No attacking anyone, no "stealing" specific egg spawns, and if I had an egg that hatched into one of her favorite things? She'd hit me over the head with a controller until I gave up "her egg". Playing with that girl is madness..which is why I stick to MUGEN and N64 now. * This troper's younger brother was once reduced to tears by an extremely vicious Super Smash Bros. Brawl scrub who was furiously convinced that he (this troper's brother) was ''obviously'' attack spamming. It couldn't just be that the scrub sucked at the game, oh no no! * This troper had a friend who used to be a complete scrub at any fighting game (most recently {{Soul Calibur}} 4). Thing was he was somewhat talented at gaming, but dear god he'd walk into things like wakeup attacks, 'bait' ''himself'' into whiffing his pokes etc. This normally puts him in the realm of a bad player, but he actually tried to complain to this troper about his character being overpowered (Kilik is not that great). Thankfully, I was feeling patient enough to break down everything he was doing wrong, and why it was wrong. Then he went back to playing the unbalanced POS known as Fight Night. At least he's stopped saying that real fighters require no strategy. ** Kilik is not that great to experienced players who learn the hard way how to deal with him. He's impossible for newbies. Why do you think the entirity of ranked matches consist of him? Because everyone is looking for a challenge? *** Kilik isn't that hard for anyone who's learned how to dodge, which takes all of 10 minutes. **** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Uh...]] * When playing Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune 3, this troper met a guy who would request running on power settings higher than the ideal level for the course at hand. Not a problem, until a third player came in. This troper went back to using the correct settings to face off against the new guy, and the scrub kept asking to run more powerful settings. Naturally the answer he got from both this troper and the new opponent was "I will if the other guy does." Though the scrub did eventually start running the ideal settings too after the first match so maybe this doesn't entirely count. * This troper admits to being a scrub at one point before, though mostly out of frustration during play. While I still will see some things as "cheap" or something similar, I usually will just complain about it just a little bit and not rant about how the fun is ruined. This troper also saw someone complain about people online in ''MarioKart Wii'' purposely ramming him and stealing his item boxes. While this is annoying to some degree, it's a part of the game. ** Part of the game? It's like 49% of the game! 50% of it is actually

racing and the 1% is making your racers make funny noises. * This troper was once a friend of a scrub on Xbox Live. When said scrub finally got ''Super StreetFighter II Turbo HD Remix'', he decide that he would main Vega. As soon as he started losing, however, he started imposing "rules" such as "Tick throws are banned" and "Turtling is banned". Funny thing is, '''he turtles ALL THE TIME with Vega.''' He just sits in a corner and waits for his opponent to jump into his front flip kick. Occasionally he will also surprise you with a Wall Dive, which is easily telegraphed. So not only is he a scrub, he is also a {{Noob}}. He got so pissed off that he removed me and all my other friends that were on his list. If you want to find him, add Iron Centipede to your list and watch him squirm as you own him. ForMassiveDamage, tick throw him into oblivion. * On the polar opposite of this page, the troper tales of StopHavingFunGuys, one person wrote that one person he played Melee with was being cheap, blocking his attacks, used cheap characters, used combos, and L-canceled. He then went on to say the person only won because he had no life. When I pointed out the scrubbish points he was making, the person then went and ''deleted my comment'' and insisted he was not a scrub. I just then reposted my comment with more details this time. ** Also about Melee, but not against any other tropers (to my knowledge), [[@/{{Longfellow}} this troper]] once played a very loud scrub at Melee. Most of the time he was absurdly humorous, but I remember once he complained because I "jump too much." ** Also also about Melee, I used to play it all the time against my kid brother and our friend. I was pretty good at Zelda/Shiek, since she's a good character, and I beat them almost every time. They eventually made a rule that I had to pick one of the two, and wasn't allowed to transform into the other one. Though I guess it's less Scrubbing than it was giving me a handicap. * This Troper knows one, he ALWAYS insists on using items on stages which I don't like but can tolerate but even during tournaments (!) it's always items, items, items! The only time he can ever come close to beating me (when I used King Dedede mind you, he beat my Ganondorf and my Wolf with items of course) is with items so the few times he has he rubbed it in my face before I challenged him without them.....and proceeded to two stock his ass into yesterday. I beat him three times (once with items and twice without). He STILL can't admit defeat and blames it on the apparent "cheapness" of D3's amazing grab game and the fact I suicides ''once'' during the five matches we had. ** I don't see the problem with this, items are fun. *** They ''are'' fun- The problem comes when you depend on them to beat people. Not by CherryTapping them, but as in the only way to do damage and then you complain when they actually do better then you without needing said items... **** This troper subverts that in that he depends on items to win, but doesn't care what. He just needs to be able to throw things. ** At the same time, I can kind of see where your friend might be coming from. I pretty much only play Melee with my brother, and he's a much better player than I am, so when we play he'll often modulate his play to even up the levels (he plays weaker characters or will refrain

from repeatedly hitting me with the same move that I never seem to learn how to dodge, ect). Especially when playing casually with people that have a significant skill differential, it's good to have some things that can even up the game, and items can do that. Otherwise, it gets to be no fun when you always lose. * There's lots of these guys if you play VS in ''Left4Dead'', whether they are survivors or the infected. If you lose to them (whether they got lucky, you made a few mistakes, or they are just better than you), they will openly tell you how much you suck. The minute your team starts to win, they will accuse you and the others of cheating or hacking. ** [[http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 Here you go.]] *** Ironic, I was just reading that before coming to this page. ** They're just as bad in TeamFortress2. There was this complete idiot on the other team who called hacks on almost every player on the opposing team. The thing is, he just sucked at playing the game. I would have understood this, if he hadn't been calling hacks so much. His idiocy included: *** Complaining the other team could see him after running out of cloak energy or bumping into them. *** Calling hacks when his disguise was seen through. *** (The Crown Jewel) Disguised as enemy(my team) soldier and calling for the enemy Medic(me) while an opposing squad of 2 pyros, a soldier, a sniper, and a medic can see him standing behind 2 of his teams Demomen and a Level 3 Sentry Gun. He was TooDumbToLive incarnite. * This troper played in a DungeonsAndDragons 3.5 campaign full of them. What earned them their scrub status was that the more annoying members of the group "played to have fun" (I guess the rest of us played for agricultural purposes or something) and fun meant "never learning new rules outside of one's own personal playbook". Unfortunately, this resulted in a game where the DungeonMaster rejected, saved every time without fail, or outright any sort of tactical maneuver such as fear effects, buffs and debuffs, and ''tripping'', ultimately resulting in a game where her characters and our characters trade damage rolls and the bigger numbers win. ** Sadly, I had a ''group'' of players try this '''at a international tournament'''. 4E, they were all playing multiclassed beastmaster rangers (Most. One was a single classed ranger). Used their critters as a mobile wall, and even tried to convince me that if they all used "Disrupting Shot" (An immediate interrupt that does damage and inflicts a penalty to an opponent's attack) that all the penalties caused by said shot should ''stack'' on every attack an opponent made in a multi-attack sequence. They also tried to say this also allowed their animals to attack, because of some feat. Ugh. ** This troper has had similar experiences with pen and paper groups. He was told he could do whatever he wanted...but this was apparently only within the players personal rulebooks. No expansion books, No classes beyond the default cookie-cutter ones you've seen zillions of times since 1st edition, no certain feats, no single-classing, no pure warriors (Keep in mind this was D&D spellcasters edition). He just up and left when they decied to prestige into classes ''from the expansion books''!! They also had a fetish for Spellcasters and it was

highly evident in that every single party member ''but'' him was multiclassing as a wizard or sorcerer. *** Oh god, this troper has had an Expanded Psionics Handbook for about 5 years. Guess how many times he's gotten to use it? Doesn't help that everyone uses Pathfinder now because "It's more [[FromACertainPointOfView balanced]]," and PF doesn't have psionics yet. One DM was going to allow it, but the campaign fell through. Although even then, concern was expressed on two separate occasions of "psionically dominating the rest of the party." This troper promptly got out his XPH and showed them the entry for Dominate, Psionic, which essentially reads "Go look at the spell that does the exact same thing in the Player's Handbook." ** You'll also laugh at how they say they hate D20 because it's too "oversimplified" and then say they will not do urban arcana because it's "Too overcomplicated". To this day this troper laughs at how they can say Urban Arcana is "overcomplicated" when they play nothing but spellcasters edition. (Even though they do slim it down to the bare necessities other than multiclassing...) * [[@/{{Magus}} This troper]] and his friend would often ban a third of the characters in SoulCalibur 3 because they were "cheap". We'd often use them again the next time we played, though. * This troper's brother is a total scrub when it comes to HaloWars, especially in regards to rushing. Basically, if you rush, then according to him, you hate fun and should be banned from playing the game (and that's not an exaggeration; he actually said that). * COD4 has a juggernaut perk which gives you more health, which some people call "cheating" despite that it's in an online (read: patchable) game. * This troper's friend insists on forbidding a list of cards from any Magic game he plays, because they're "cheap wins" (ignoring the fact that players with them are beaten regularly -- they're mostly just cards with attack/defense scores based on things like how many black cards are in play, resulting in insanely high stats). ** He would hate the Commander deck I'm putting together, then, which kills stuff, then uses Mortivore to swing ForMassiveDamage. Oh, and once the general comes out, it starts stealing their dudes as well. * This troper had a recent run-in with a hilarious troll who claims that it's impossible to get the "100 million points" achievement in the North American version of ''Raiden Fighters Aces''. * The Amarr/Minmatar roleplaying community in ''EveOnline'' (of which this troper is a part of) has an agreement to not use alt spies, which cannot be defended against using in-character methods. Anyone caught using an alt spy will be expelled from both sides. * This troper absolutely positively '''hates''' sports and most competitive games of ''any'' kind because they result in {{Scrub}} mentality and StopHavingFunGuys. This is how P.E. worked in school...you just play a game of the month (a team sport) and the people on the winning team get ''more grade points'' than the people who lost. So now there is something that is ''supposed'' to be fun and teach you about teamwork that evolved into people arguing who the best players were and the best targets, meaning people would demoralize them and whine when the apathetics who hate sports are on their team.

No, it's not that we were ruining their game...they were ruining our P.E. Grades. You don't play sports to win...you play sports to screw over the other team as much as possible. And griefers who either don't give a shit cause they're happy with a "C" or want to get back and the asshat jocks decide to get on their team and then try and sabotage their team. * This Troper really wish people will stop trying to ask for [[{{Pokemon}} Scizor]] to be banned. I know it has a good lead in usage compared to everything else, but that's ONLY because it's easy to use and useful. It has tons of counters that loves the free turn provided by CBScizor having to switch, and it is NOT overpowered at all. Seriously. ** Well... 130 base attack + Technician + STAB boosted Bullet Punch = Fucking. Ow. But calling for the Banhammer is Scrub mentality of course. * This editor has a classmate who is a scrub in EVERY GAME POSSIBLE, soccer, warcraft, FIFA, counter strike, hell even wii sports (according to him a pro mii in wii sports is magically more powerful than a normal mii, nevermind the lots of experience the player with a "pro" mii has) * Not as serious as some examples here, but back when i played Quake II with my friends they insisted in always play in Fac 3. and all suggestions about other stages were ignored. * A friend of his troper is ever increasingly becoming a scrub. When we play Modern Warfare 2, he incessantly gives me shit over how I rarely any gun other than the Famas. It's not that the Famas is the only good gun in MW2 or the only gun that I can get kills with, but it's the gun that I'm the most comfortable with and I can typically get, at least, a decent positive ratio with it, as long as my teammates aren't horrible. He complains about how the Famas is cheap, a scrub gun, and takes no skill. Ramp this UpToEleven if I put a "noob tube" on my Famas. * This troper's cousin. Especially when it comes to ''[[SuperSmashBros Brawl]]''. The kid uses Meta Knight, the [[CharacterTiers highestranked]] character in the game. This troper used Zero Suit Samus (B tier) and won three matches in a row. Cue complaints of Zero Suit Samus's down smash being cheap. And this was a Meta Knight main. * {{PuppetChaos}} is a scrub. [[OrIsIt Or Is He?]] * [[@/TheAlbinoPrimid This Troper]] plays MapleStory from time to time, and laughs like hell when people start complaining about new classes. Take, for example, the Knights of Cygnus. These guys have been compared to "Maple Story Easy Mode", considering that they get more stat points on level up for 70 levels, they have exclusive equips, and they have a skill that gives them even more bonuses. What Scrubs fail to point out, however, is that 1. The skill in question correlates to your highest level character (which, by the way, is almost always going to be one of the original classes), and 2. A Lv. 200 Adventurer is still stronger than a Lv. 120 Knight, which is by the way the highest level possible on them. * This Troper is, by definition, a DDR scrub. I don't touch the bar ever, I avoid "bracketing", and I keep the speed mods at 1.5x or 1x (if a DDR song). I thoroughly believe this is how the game is meant to

be enjoyed, and I won't try it any other way, but I understand these personal limiters preclude me from tourney play, or realistically, any grade higher than S+, and as such I don't complain about it or criticize higher-level players who use those techniques. ** You're not a scrub because of [[SelfImposedChallenge that]]. You'd be a scrub if you threw a hissy fit against anybody who didn't follow your personal restrictions. * This Troper was involved with a debate with a scrub who banned spot removal (low cost cards that destroy creatures or other permanents) in his casual Magic: the Gathering circle. He went on to defend how it made the game more fun and implied that he knew more about balancing the game than the ''professionals who designed it''. This Troper wants to play against them with a turbofog deck to show them how bad their idea of "balance" is. ** Of course, the idea that "the professionals are always right" is not an absolute - just look at how often mechanics are rebalanced in online games, particularly [=MMORPGs=]. Or pretty much any product ever that wasn't perfect, even though it was Designed By Professionals! That said, mechanics that last a long time through multiple revisions, like spot removal in Magic, tend to be pretty legit. Not that this troper didn't think that Icy/Royal Assassin combo was total bullshit back in 4th grade... * This Troper knows that her brother would be a scrub, so she told him that she'd show up in a full cosplay to a LAN party. He quickly said that he wouldn't... But now she's stuck going in full cosplay to avoid him figuring out what her plan was. * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] has experienced this a few times, though the most noteworthy was with a former friend. He, the friend, was terrible at just about every game aside from GuitarHero (Which I'm not that great at; thus, it wound up becoming the only game he'd play against me because it was the only game he could outright beat me at). More often than not, he's impose restrictions on me in every game we played; like during a game of [[SuperSmashBros Super Smash Bros. Melee]], where I was only allowed to play as Pichu and was not allowed to use any items at all. Needless to say, I got to where I rarely played any games with him. * ''ModernWarfare 2'' does have a number of glitches that if abused are a legitimate cause for complaint (wall glitches, elevator glitches, javelin glitch, care package glitch, pre-patched rangers glitch). However, despite the Create-a-class system being designed to allow a variety of builds and tactics, each with different strengths and weaknesses, you will find scrubs complaining about (staring with the more legitimate complaints): ** Boosting makes you a cheating noob ** You're a skilless noob if you: *** Noob-tube with One-Man-Army or Scavenger to allow unlimited tubes, and Danger Close *** Noob-tube every single life and start again when you respawn *** Noob-tube at all *** Have the Noob-tube equipped ** You're a cheap knifing noob if you: *** Use the Knife Build to run around knifing all the time

*** Use Commando in general (teleportation is cheating!) *** Ever knife anyone ** You're a cheap camper noob if you: *** Camp in one spot the entire game *** Use Tactical Insertion to camp *** Camp at all *** Camp when defending an objective! *** Ever use a sniper rifle **** If you use the intervention, you're a noob **** If you use anything but the Intervention you're a noob ** If you never camp you're a run-and-gun noob ** You're a shotgun whore noob if you use: *** Akimbo 1888's *** Akimbo Rangers *** SPAS-12 *** Any other shotgun ** You're a cheap noob if you use: *** The Painkiller Deathstreak (you should be dead!) *** The Final Stand Deathstreak (you should be dead!) **** Last Stand (you should be dead already) *** The Martyrdom Deathstreak (I shouldn't be dead) *** If you use the CopyCat Deathstreak then you're an idiot, the others are much better. ** You're also a cheap noob if you use any of these perks, at all, in any situation, period: *** The Commando Perk *** The Last Stand Perk *** The One Man Army Perk *** The Danger Close Perk *** The Scrambler Perk *** The Cold Blooded Perk *** The Ninja Perk *** The Hardline Perk *** The Marathon Perk *** The Lightweight Perk *** The Bling Perk *** The Scavenger Perk *** The SitRep Perk ** If you use any sub machine gun you're a skill-less spray-and-pray noob ** If you use a sniper at short range you're a sniper shotgun noob ** If you use the riot shield ever, you're a noob ** If you use any of the powerful killstreaks, you're a cheap noob, if you use any of the less powerful killstreaks, you're a stupid noob ** If you use claymore you're a cheap noob ** If you use FMJ you're a noob ** If you use heartbeat sensor, you're a cheating noob ** If you use a sliencer, you're a noob ** If you use a 3-shot-burst gun you're an M16 or FAMAS noob ** If you use any build at all other than a non-3-shot AR with a Red Dot, Sleight-of-hand, Stopping Power and Steady Aim, you're a noob *** If you attack from the behind or the sides, you're a noob

*** If you kill me, you're a cheating noob *** If you get killed you're a skilless noob *** You're a noob (Personally I disagree with this kind of sentiment since almost every tactic has a viable counter, so I usually enjoy playing the game with the chat turned off.) * [[@/{{T-Jack}} This troper]] will freely admit to having been a scrub in the past, most notably trying to ban rushing in {{Warcraft}} 3 by imposing a "No attacks in the first five minutes" rule. Though to be fair, the guys he used to play with were somewhat of StopHavingFunGuys, to the point that they were mocking him for even building defense towers (after said towers successfully fended off their first attack.) ** Also, when he was playing ModernWarfare, the troper's brother and his clanmates liked to use [=RPGs=] just to piss off the guys who thought they were "cheap kills". * There are so many ''{{Uncharted}} 2'' players who bash people for using weapons like the shotgun and pistole, calling them "cheap". If they're so damn cheap, how about getting the hell away from me if you see I've got one of them? * "Cheating! That's cheating!" The kids at my school are allowed to use one teacher's TV and Wii to play games during lunch, and when a certain kid who shall remain anonymous plays a match in a fighting game, that's the most common phrase heard, followed by "[X] is broken!" and "OP [X] is OP!" I seldom if ever hear him compliment an opponent on a move well done--he'll just say "How did my counter miss?" or "That move's cheap!" The kicker is that they're playing a fighting game based on ''{{Naruto}}'', and all but two characters have at least one move that would be considered a GameBreaker in any other game--the challenge comes from matching one GameBreaker against another. He's arguably a hypocrite too, as while he often plays characters like [[ArrogantKungFuGuy Neji]] and [[AwesomenessByAnalysis Shikimaru]] who don't have many special abilities, his favorite character is [[TheWormThatWalks Shino]], a [[{{Whoring}} spammy]] ranged fighter who's basically this game's equivalent of [[SuperSmashBrothers Pit]]. The odd thing, though, is that he's actually a good player--he once beat [[VillainSue Sasuke]] with Shikimaru, even more impressive considering that the Sasuke player has invested more than a hundred hours of practice into his personal copy of his game. I'd root for him if he weren't so determined that everyone play ''his'' way. * Kind of an old school, but [[@/{{FMPhoenixHawk}} this Troper]] got banned from using the Moonraker Female and Odd Job in {{GoldenEye}} because I used their lower height to hide in spots. It was done in fun, but still kind of weird. * [[Tropers/SgtFrog1 I tend]] to have Scrubbish tendencies when playing against StopHavingFunGuys. Oh, I'll try my darndest to beat him, but he will kick my ass. Thankfully, I haven't had to put up with too much bragging and him deriding my play style. * This editor is semi-Scrub in that having fun playing is generally more important to him than winning or losing. When he plays something, however, he opts to play it as well as possible so he wins

surprisingly frequently. ** Same here. On the ocassion I get together with friends and we play something, we tend to try and make it as goddamn hilarious as possible, screw winning and losing. If we ''do'' enter into competitive play, we can still laugh at our absurd deaths ("Did you just drop a ''kill ball'' on me? ''...how?!"'') and we put effort into kicking each other's asses. Naturally, I lose a lot. What can I say? I'm bad at FPS. * This is a fairly long story: this troper remembers when he first played COD:modern warfare 2 with a friend and his youngest brother (it was my friend's game, as I didn't (and still don't) have a Xbox360/PS3: I kinda a recovered video game addict). My friend and me were playing fairly (ok, I screen watched slightly, but only because I have a sort of in-built ability to watch the whole screen without losing focus on the whole game, but I forced myself to focus on just my part of the screen for the sake of fairness): the brother camped (I can't remember what the level was called, but it featured a crane and was on a building site), screen watched (he managed to shoot me before I was even able to by aware of my surroundings and, by taking a leaf from his book on the third time, spotted he moved his aim to where my character's head was going to be just before I came round the corner) and used upgrades to make himself almost impossible to kill (heat sensor to tell where we are, the thing which messes up your radar and the thing which makes you not appear on your radar). When my friend finally removed him from his hiding place with a grenade, he protested that we were screen watching (forgetting that he had just done that to us), then STARTED DOING IT AGAIN! After the fifth time he did this (each time on different levels), he received a stern talking to by my friend, but he still didn't listen, so he received a ban from playing with us, which he complained against, by saying he was playing fairly, while it was blatently obvious he wasn't (hell, even my friend knew he was cheating because he was able to constantly one shot the two of us and make sure he couldn't be killed himself by making himself impossible to hit with a bullet). The problem was eventually sorted when my friend's other brother decided to play with us instead. * This troper is a WorldOfWarcraft {{scrub}} in that he plays the game more for exploration/achievements/questing and non-Lore non-ERP comedic roleplay (often as a rocker somehow turned into a Blood Elf or with a ToiletHumor or DoubleEntendre name) than for twinking out toons for heroics or raiding, or researching lore to RP "properly." He is quite happy settling for PUGs in dungeon finder and playing DPS classes and doing mostly PVE, however, because he realizes that getting involved with SeriousBusiness will annoy and bother others and simply enjoys being let alone to play in peace. That said, at least he is not 100 percent scrub: he prefers playing combat rogues and berserker warriors and melee combat (as opposed to the perennial scrub favorite hunters and paladins), even if he is a bit more of a HackAndSlash fighter in style. * This apparently ancient Troper remembers playing Mechwarrior: Vengeance in his youth, fighting against players who stripped all the armour off their mech's legs so they had the space to add more guns. Needless to say, the single shot to the kneecap that sent their

bristling-with-enough-cannon-to-blow-up-half-of-Russia robot crashing to the floor was clearly a tactic reserved only for the sort of player who murdered puppies while raping his sisters. As was equipping longrange weapons on wide-open maps and dishonourably not letting closerange fighters get into close range. As was piloting a fast, light mech, and spitefully running circles around the slow-turning heavies instead of "being a man" and fighting them head-on. As was equipping six Flamethrowers in close-combat maps and overheating enemy mechs without "giving them a chance", never mind that Flamethrowers are THE SHORTEST-RANGE WEAPONS IN THE GAME AND YOU HAVE A SODDING RADAR. * Recently the Reuniclus thread on Smogon was visited by a member clamoring for the banning of this Pokemon. The reason? It completely countered his lineup of full defensive Pokemon. People told him about the various Pokemon that could easily counter Reuniclus AND fit into his playstyle well, and his response was, "Well, Spiritomb/[=CMRoar Latias=]/[=CBTar=]/Scizor/etc is too niche/not an absolute perfect counter, therefore Reuniclus should be banned!"...even though the others presented calculations, showed that the so-called "niche" counters were actually useful for other reasons, other, more offensive types of teams actually had very little to no trouble against this Pokemon, and that because of how the game has evolved a check or two was sufficient. It was painfully clear that this guy was more looking for a ban to validate HIS team rather than realizing that he had caused his own weaknesses. * in LeagueOFLegends, Playing Tryndamere or Yi in the 10-20 level bracket is a surefire way to get your opponents taunting you for playing "noob characters" and complaining that they need Nerfing, never mind that they are both easily shut down by stacking crowd control. ** Many characters get this treatment, though. *** Karthus? OMG PRESS R TO WIN NO SKILL INVOLVED *** Garen? Spin2win *** Kassadin? Blink saves you from everything. *** Mundo? I don't even need to play. *** Mordekaiser? Where do we start? *** Ryze? QWER dead. *** Vlad. Spam Q, pool away from everything. *** And that's just those who are currently considered brainafk and OP. * This troper admittedly had an instance of this once while playing {{Monopoly}} with some friends. He had only ever played it with his family before; his family uses an apparently altered version of the rules for buying property where if someone lands on a property and declines or is unable to buy, the deed is simply placed back on the market with no auction as in the official version. He had never played by the official rules and thought that his family's version was the official version. Needless to say, [[RageQuit he did not handle it well.]] * This troper is a bit of a scrub at the original [[Game/SuperMarioBros Super Mario Bros]]. He absolutely refuses to use the WarpZones, and feels that exploring the different worlds is more important than finishing it in the fastest time possible.

* One of my cousins is like this with Goldeneye. She complains when I shoot her before she picks up a gun, which to be fair ''is'' against our house rules. The problem? She doesn't always realize she picked up a gun, so when I headshot her from across the room... [[{{Understatement}} she's mildly displeased.]] I'm pretty generous about house rules to cover these skill discrepancies, but sometimes it's maddening trying to get her to ''improve'' so they're not needed. * How about another ''Brawl'' story? A few years ago, several college students and I would go to an unused classroom and play ''Brawl''. The default rules 90% of the time was no items, Final Destination, which all of us agreed upon; last thing anyone wanted was to have a bitchfest start over losing because of an environmental hazard or lucky break with an item. Well, all that was fine and dandy until a few of the Scrubs from around the school joined the group and killed the fun, banning certain characters simply because they were either too low on an online character tier, or too high, or some other ridiculous reason. Needless to say, the fun was over when they entered the room. * This troper has been steadily trying to teach his nephew that screen watching is not "unfair" or "cheating." If it is part of the game's design that all players can see each others' screens, then that is just another source of tactical information. If you don't want an opponent to see your screen, play online. ** Actually, most people do consider that to be kind of bullshit. The designers didn't include split screen because of a balance decision, they did it because owning four tvs for when your friends come over to play some video games is too expensive for most people. Regardless, the nice thing about screen watching is you only really do it with people you know, so you can come to a group decision on how cheap it is. Either you or your nephew will eventually have to change your mind, otherwise...well, you won't have much fun playing together. ** People are usually better behaved when they can see your screen if they start acting like a [[StopHavingFunGuys PvPEnis]], you shut the game off. IF they do that online, the only thing you can do is ignore them - and they keep on bragging and screaming to mid-air. And if you just quit, you don't shut down ''their'' client as well. ** Banning Screen-Watching is nearly impossible: it's impossible to tell if someone is doing it, and it's extremely easy to do it accidentally. Back in the hoary old days of Goldeneye 64, the thing to do was to memorize the basic layout of the level and run around with your head down so your opponents could not see you coming. Other fun tricks included wearing green and hiding in the corner of The Stack so you blended in with the walls, shooting the armor a lot so it would respawn in a different place than normal, and memorizing the spawn sequence to spawnkill the latest person to die as they spawn with no weapons. Most of these were reserved for particularly irritating players. * [[{{Draken}} This troper's]] younger brother was the worst kind of person to play against for years. No weapons in Armored Core (it was just "tag" or "hide and seek"), no combos in Tekken, only the basic characters in Crash Team Racing, and so on. If he didn't get his way, he'd bawl to the parents, and they'd cause the game to go off (bad enough it was only allowed to be played on holidays, no school days,

and stopped at 6 pm on Sundays). It got to the point where there was a yearly gap between game times between us. * This Troper's little brother was a horrible scrub when he was a kid. For some examples... ** In SuperSmashBros games, he banned certain characters, turned the most fun items off (Smash Balls, Poke Balls, Super Scopes, etc), and had a tendency to unplug his opponent's controller when they were winning. Also, when he played the game with me, he always chose stages that I absolutely hated JUST to make me mad. Oh, and his friends were like this too. ** When we played PokemonRubyAndSapphire, he was absolutely HORRIBLE with scrubbing. He would always tell me that I couldn't use Pokemon above a certain level, I couldn't use legendaries, I wasn't allowed to have my Mons hold certain items, etc. Needless to say, he broke all of his "rules" every time we played. And when I was about to win? He would yank the Game Link Cable. There was a reason that I never wanted to play with him... ** MarioKart: Double Dash was a horror when playing with him. As in the other games, he banned certain characters and I wasn't allowed to use certain items. And he would always, ALWAYS play on that one track that I hated. ** Now we play WiiSports together, and he's still a little Scrubby. I'm not allowed to throw Splitters in Baseball because he can't hit them. Oh, and he's convinced that certain Miis are worse than others when the computer scrambles the team, so if he gets a Mii that he doesn't like, he restarts the game. * [[{{LocalDarkness}} This troper's]] friends all bitch him out during fighting games because my play style is Turtle while mostly cause they're all attack heavy freaks. Due to their combined lack of defense, I'll catch them off guard hit them with my own combo and then go back to waiting for them to slip up, which they typically do. Things have gotten worse now that we're playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and they've resorted to spamming Wesker's and Dormmamu's specials causing me to break Storm out of retirement and effectively annoy the crap outta them with her keep away game. Thus causing them to ban Storm everytime we play. * I honestly believe that I am a scrub. While I love fighting games to death, I always seem to get beat in them because I do stupid things. Also when it comes to Pokemon, I try enforcing rules on others when I play them (Although they're kinda the rules {{Smogon}} enforces, such as no Ubers, no hax items, no double team, etc). Finally, I am a sore loser but unlike most other scrubs I watch myself get wailed instead of disconnecting. ** It seems I'm becoming less of a scrub on Pokemon ever since I finally made a competitive team. I've been kicking butt left and right and I'm starting to plan my moves ahead of time. On fighting games on the other hand...let's just say [[BlazBlue Ragna]] got me on a perfect the first round, barely got hit the second round and finished me off with [[FinishingMove Black Onslaught.]] * Me, my cousin and two friends played Modern Warfare 2. My cousin and me were in opposite teams, and the guy I had in the team was a pro player. Cue my cousin's partner accusing us of cheating and cheap play

because we apparently spawned behind his back (we didn't), we could throw grenades over the entire map (no one used a noob-tube) [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and our knives were stronger]] (as if that is possible). That was not the first time of his scrub behaviour, either. * This troper runs into these in LeagueOfLegends. It's kind of important to point out that this is DefenseOfTheAncients - so teh fanbase is ''full'' of these and StopHavingFunGuys. I've been told to "Stop ramboing" and going off by myself as Tristana, Yeah, I know, she's not good in 1v1, but I happened to have a Machine Gun build - so literally, I can melt through a Turret in just less than two rounds of Rapid fire, and even then that's only to finish the other one quickly. There was one time where I was yelled at for backdooring and being worthless. Worthless? I had destroyed the inhibitors three times! I had ''fifteen'' building destructions by the end of the game!! I also got yelled at for backdooring ''all three inhibitors'' while the other team was getting Baron as Twisted Fate once. Dude - Twisted Fate = Machine Gun Champion. Machine Guns are ''very'' good for destroying buildings! I freaking got us a ''swarm of super minions'' to win the game for us while we played defense! * recently I was practicing with Swain in ''LeagueOfLegends''. So I decide that bots are a good way to practice with abilities to get the hang of what you're doing. However, I find that I'm with a Fiddlesticks and Kog'Maw who were more interested in building up snowballing items. Quite literally, the two help me push a champion away and as I go attack the turret with the minion swarm...the two ''run away'' to go farm more kills. Yes kills win games, but bots don't surrender - they don't play by our rules, they get items on a timer and get free experience so if you just dink around, ''they're going to outgear you'' and they ''will'' hit 18. * This troper has a friend he plays {{Gears of War}} with. Any time I successfully perform a chainsaw kill, he begins to endlessly complain about how I'm "Cheating" by using the most powerful melee weapon in the game. NEVER MIND when I do this when he's sniping, immediately after scrubbing me from it, have you ''tried'' to cross a map when the entire army of both parties are bots? He's gotten better though, not even insisting that we play on the same team any more. Though, that may have had to do with when I turned [[UnfriendlyFire friendly fire]] on... I [[BoomHeadshot sniped]] that game... * Play DefenseOfTheAncients. Now, take a drink every time somebody calls maphack. If you know the people you play with, convince your team to do the same. A few kills later nobody on the team will have any clue what they're doing anymore. * This troper's younger brother used to be a major Scrub, though he's toned down slightly. He's still a sore loser, just less often. He'll resort to physically attacking you/unplugging your controller/RageQuitting. He yells into the mic when he plays his shooting games online. Oh, and if you do better than him athletically, he may overreact. Depends on what your doing and how good you are at sports in his mind. * I don't want to sound like a Scrub, but boosting (in [[ModernWarfare2]] for example) really is pathetic.

* Freeform Roleplay example... in many circles, there's a set of rules for freeform roleplaying combat, and one of the more interesting ones is that if your opponent cannot legitimately escape, you can autohit them provided the blow isn't crippling. Bad fighters will go down in a heartbeat, but good fighters will learn how to interrupt-cancel ''those'' (it makes sense in context), resulting in extremely interesting (and fun) fights. I happen to be rather good at it. Got dragged into one Kamen Rider roleplay, where my character was the only one with any fighting talent outside of their Rider form. Now, the game claimed to use Mutants&Masterminds 2nd Edition, but nobody could be bothered to learn the rules (except me and a few others, who were essentially treated as second-class citizens) and insisted that we do freeform instead (with the aforementioned conventions), despite my warnings to ''not'' use freeform. [[TooDumbToLive And then picked fights with my character outside of Rider form]] and cried when they lost, eventually getting me banned. Nowadays I just actively avoid freeform roleplay to save arguments when I win. And if I lose... well, obviously I screwed up or they were ''better than me'', weren't they? ** More stories from the same: *** Back in the days of classic SuperSmashBros, the friend with the N64 had a very irritating younger brother. The best example had to be the one time he and another friend happened to leeroy into a Bob-Omb together and got KOed out of the game - there were five of us, so the rule was Loser Off, i.e. whoever came last (read: whoever ran out of lives first) would have to offer up the controller (usually it was me or the little brother, as I had no N64 to practice on and he was bad). They went out at almost the same time, so we had no way of judging it ourselves, but eventually the round is over (in fact, I wasn't even playing that round, having been Offed the round before due to having the misfortune to run up against the eldest of us, who was absolutely ludicrous with Luigi) and the game says he died first (fourth place). Cue balling up around the controller, claiming that the game was mistaken, and general bitching and whining... and then the mother comes up to see what the fuss is, he lies baldly, and she turns to me... [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome sees my raised "Bullshit Eyebrow" and tells the little brother to go outside.]] *** Another friend, unrelated, got me into playing {{Tekken}}, at which he mains [[ExtremityExtremist Hwoarang]], starting with Tekken 3, which he was vastly better at than me (though he didn't actually learn to do anything but spam Hwaorang's innate 3,3,3,3 and 4,4,4,4 kick strings until I began pressuring him to improve, which he has). I got into the habit of playing [[TheMario Jin]], who was actually [[CharacterTiers the best character in 3]], but playing at that level was beyond me - what sold me was Jin's ability to reverse high and mid attacks. Since then, I've picked up Tekken 5 and Tekken 6, switching between Jin and [[ProfessionalWrestling King]] in Tekken 5 - grappling characters always interest me, but what sold me on King was that he had a kick reversal, prompting my friend to pick up [[AttackAttackAttack Bryan]]. And then Tekken 6 came along, with Dragunov. Dragunov not only has Tekken 3 Jin's reversals, but he has a second reversal that stops low and s-mid attacks, in addition to having a bunch of attack throws (throws that come out if attacks hit

in a specific way, such as on a counter hit) and a tackle soft-chain throw. That said, his standard strings are pretty awful, and I'm not a good enough player to do long juggle/bound combos, and I'm a very defensive fighter even in meatspace... put these things together. I'm not allowed to play Dragunov anymore. * This Troper, an avid {{MortalKombat9}} player, sees this all the time. Most notably, I recently played against a dude and beat him by zoning with [[BadassNormal Stryker's]] handgun and grenades. He screamed over his mic about it, so I switched to Quan Chi, who I know a few high damaging combos for. He quit on the FINISH HIM! screen, and sent me rage mail calling me a cheap combo spammer. How the hell do you spam combos? * {{Tropers/Archer250}}: While playing CoD: Black Ops 24/7 Nuketown server, there's this shit who keeps suggesting everyone use knife only and trolls every member who disagree with him (read: EVERYONE). Being an admin, I ban him for life from that server. ---Going back to {{Scrub}} from this page is completely cheap. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ScullyBox * Many wedding photographers have a ScullyBox in their studio. God knows ThisTroper had to use it... (Hey! she was wearing heels!) ** YouAreNotAlone. I'm [[TheNapoleon 5'2"]], and my husband is 6'4". Any time we get a picture taken, I usually have to stand on something.

ScunthorpeProblem * There is at least one Pro Boards forum that replaces both dyke and 'dike' with lesbian. What would you do for a Klonlesbian Bar? * Some websites even go so far as to censor "cunny", a not-often-used term for...well, you can guess. One amusing side-effect of this is that you can't even refer to Scunthorpe by its NICKNAME, Scunny. It's like the internet has something against Scunny...and you can't really blame it. ** Uhh... I can say I've seen it used in the dirty context to describe underage girls, especially on furry erotica sites. That may be a good reason to ban it. Then again, I'm against profanity filters in general and all for people learning how to speak to each other in more a more civil tone. * This Troper remembers his local cinema advertising "James Bond in Octocat." * Many years ago, this troper used to post on a forum which censored the word "shat", even when it was part of another word. Which meant that dicussions about the actor "William S*** ner" took on a whole new meaning.... * ThisTroper's mother consistently asks him to do housework when he's playing games. Since a lot of server-side mods filter out words into random ones or turn the line into an insult directed at the curser,

everyone in the room started to laugh when it turned "vaccumming" into "[=VacEjaculationing=]." ** Maybe she should learn to spell "vacuum". *** Make love to me. 0.0 * This troper tried to quote ''TheMatrix'' on a forum once, and was rather annoyed to discover that the quote came up as "There is no thingy." The forum members eventually got desperate enough to refer to the eating utensil as a "sp00n" and had some difficulties when attempting to discuss the preparation of weaponry for use. * The one time [[TadBolmont this troper]] ran into Maple Story's filter, he was trying to describe a monster in a specific area, as Ra'''coon'''. ** Maple's filter is bad about this. "Grape" is censored as well. Some players are (were?) unable to say ''their own first names'', because "Christina", "Christopher", and most variations are blocked - due to the use of "Jesus Christ" as an expletive. ** Merry BLEEPmas! ** My boyfriend and I discovered two rather silly holes in the filter. In "homoerotic," "homo" is censored but "erotic" is not, and while the word "blow" is censored, "fellatio" (the more scientific term for the same sex act) is not. We have resolved to use "fellatio" instead of "blow" - for instance, "fellatio bubbles," "fellatio your nose," or "Arrow Fellatio" (an in-game skill) until the filter is fixed. * This Troper can beat practically every example on the page. He once had his e-mail client filter out an e-mail confirming the online sale of a video game. Which video game? ''FinalFantasy''. Apparently, "Fantasy" was on the list of banned words. Okay, so I sort of see the logic connecting that with porn-related spam, but really? "Fantasy"??! * This Trooper's school had a website-blocking filter only in place for a very short time, mostly due to this trope. It's rather hard to do any research on atomic bombs when you can't even google the Bikini Islands. ** This troper's school had something like that, only it also was based on how much "skin" was shown in pics... resulting in pages about ''pigs'' being censored! ** This one's school was even more humorous about it, because there were ''actual staff members'' watching students as they worked, and they managed to be even dumber than automatic filters. They would sometimes throw students off of the computer without even asking if they're doing anything school-related. This happened to me twice in the same semester for research for a science class, the first involving anthrax and the second involving the use of nuclear energy. Work was lost both times, and needless to say, I was ''pissed off.'' ** One of the labs at this troper's university blocks anything with 'game' on the URL. So, if you are trying to read about [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_theory game theory]], forget it. *** The sysadmin of the same lab decided to open a blog to inform users of the lab about updates/maintainance schedules/etc... [[EpicFail which was blocked because its URL contained 'blog']]. *** My school did this too, but because too many students always find a way around the firewall, the word "proxy" is also blocked. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensued]] when trying to research

Munchausen's by-proxy for psychology class. ** This troper's place of work uses Sharepoint for collaboration and the Internet Filter will randomly block the internal Sharepoint site for 24 hours at a time if someone uses phrases like "Web 2.0," or "Blog" or "Social networking," even though products the business actively sells fall into those categories. ** While we were never entirely sure what was setting it off, my school's filter got out of hand during my freshman year. The newspaper staff got it worst, being unable to research the history of the local football team (the Winnipeg Blue Bombers), Jesus Christ (we're a Christian school, and the article was about the Biblical Studies courses), or ''censorship'' (for an article complaining about the overzealous filter). The bright side of this is that it got to the point where they would google proxy settings (which were inexplicably not locked) every time they were working until the administration called them ''all'' out on it. This resulted in an hour-long class being wasted to "talk to the students about proper internet use" that turned into "call the administration out on being pussies when it comes to the internet." * This troper, in reference to a GrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy episode, attempted to create a GuildWars guild named 'The Addled Norsemen'. It took us a good while to realize why the profanity filter was blocking it. * This troper is a member of an online blog site that censored her comment "We can't have a picnic until we have all the supplies" because the words "picnic" and "until" formed a dirty word if the space between them was removed. * The (late '90s) censoring filter on the computers in this troper's high school was removed after it was discovered that it wouldn't let students into a webpage about the Hebrew Bible, because the Hebrew name for the book of Genesis transliterates to B'reshit. * This Troper once had a hard time in ''RagnarokOnline'' trying to explain to his teammates he couldn't move because he was "en''cum''bered." * Five years ago, this troper had a [[OldShame forum]] with one of her old friends with a filter on it that she put together. However, she was eleven and a bit of a BluenoseBowdlerizer at the time, so didn't even want to ''write in'' the swearwords (in this example, "co* k" instead of "cock") when she put them on an embarrassing filter. Cue not just "cock," but also "cook" being rendered as "rooster." * [[{{Hremsfeld}} This Troper]] is on a Bleach RP forum. His character was a fighter pilot, who died when the pilot of the plane he just shot down [[ItMakesSenseInContext ejected THROUGH]] his "thingypit." * The Marvel.com boards censor the name Dick, giving this troper the experience of writing a very heartfelt memorial piece about the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster only to hit submit and see "Commander (CENSORED) Scobee". * This Troper belongs to a forum that once had a very heavy swearing and inappropriate language problem. They put in a language filter. Now every instance of 'penis' or 'dick' is changed to 'headphones', every instance of 'vagina' or that other P word is 'dishwasher', and every instance of 'whorehouse' is 'daycare center'. Subverted in that this

was recently fixed so it's not a huge issue. ** Maybe it's just me, but I have difficulty seeing how you could replace whorehouse with daycare center with out raising a few eyebrows and requiring several gallons of BrainBleach: "So I was at the [[strike: whorehouse]] daycare center the other day, they'd gotten a new arrival of girls who could fu [[{{Squick}} okay I'm not even going to finish that sentence]]. * On one site, this troper had trouble saying that she had recently seen the movie adaptation of "Memoirs o'''f a G'''eisha." * This troper plays an online game with the usual in-game chat. The filter happily allows you to say Sh* t but censors Grape. It took me some time to figure out. * This troper is lushut the f*** upl. * This troper has been to many forums where there was heavy censoring of nonswearwords. Generally random ones, that were only on some of the time in some of the sections. HilarityEnsues * This troper tried to access this very page in school and found that she couldn't because of the title. The irony was not lost on her. * The Toledo Public Schools government-mandated internet filter circa 2001 blocked the FBI's website because it mentioned crime. * This troper remembers a forum she used to go to that used to change the a-word to "bum-bum." She will never forget a line in a story that her friend posted on that forum: "It doesn't matter if you win or lose. It's how you kick your opponent's bum-bum that counts!" * This troper remembers being a regular of a message board where this resulted in things like Alfred Hitch[[spoiler:cock]] or The [[spoiler:Spic]]e Girls being censored. * Once, on my forum, I accidentally censored the word "cant" instead of something else. The members found that quite amusing. * Two from this troper. First, he used to belong to a message board on the Discovery Channel's website, where he quickly discovered that fans of the show Animal Face-Off couldn't talk about saltwater crocodiles. Second: during a multiplayer game of Age of Mythology. This troper is not very good at Age of Mythology. During the ensuing ZergRush, his opponent sends the chat message "You suck." This troper's response; [[{{Futurama}} "**** my shiny metal ass."]] * I couldn't resist plugging several of the more common results of the scunthorpe problem into google to see what I'd get - I believe it was "mbuttachusetts" that eventually led me to an article about the accomplishments of "John Hanmale Genitalia", including his famous speech commemorating the "Boston Mbuttacre". A brief about the writer section at the end also mentioned "womanmescwomanoll", which took a while to work out ("ho" is apparently filtered into "woman"). * This troper was once a member of a forum where "non-PG-rated" words were censored out (and changed to [[{{Smurfing}} "smurf"]]). So whenever people discussed politics or classic literature, they ended up with "smurf Cheney" or "Moby smurf", respectively. * I was in a chatroom recently and [[FourOneNineScam 419 scams]] came up - we quickly found out that the filter censors out the word "Nigeria", for obvious reasons. * This Troper once inverted this trope for his own amusement. He installed a wordfilter add-on for Firefox, then set it to replace

"the_" with "the_%$@#ing_". Thus producing sentences like: "The %$@#ing quick fox jumped over the %$@#ing lazy dogs." On every webpage. ** Sir (or madam), I award you an internet. * Your contributor remembers an old Nickelodeon fans message board censoring the word "fag"... Not surprising, right? Except that it censored Bill "[[{{SpongeBob SquarePants}} Patrick Star]]" Faggerbakke's last name. * [[LeighSabio This Troper]]'s parents were chewing her out for swearing, and managed to set them off again a couple of minutes later for the same thing. Why? She picked the wrong time to quote a line from StarTrekIV. Apparently, if she wants to say d[[spoiler:amn]], she must first grow a pair of [[spoiler:pointed ears]]. * Ever try to talk about an anime like [[{{Kuroshitsuji}} Kuro"shit"suji]] or [[CodeGeass Code Ge"ass"]] in a very tightly filtered anime chat room? Yeah. * One forum decided to censor out a lot of nicknames for drugs. It backfir[[spoiler:e]]d wh[[spoiler:e]]n th[[spoiler:e]]y [[spoiler:e]]nt[[spoiler:e]]r[[spoiler:e]]d th[[spoiler:e]] singl[[spoiler:e]]-vow[[spoiler:e]]l nicknam[[spoiler:e]] for [[spoiler:e]]cstasy. * This Troper's wife was once discussing alcoholic drinks on an [[TitanAE Titan A.E.]] forum when she noticed that her favorite apple juice and vodka drink was being censored to ****** ini. Apparently, the word "Applet" is (or was) a naughty word. * This Troper was recently asked to troll on a children's site (Kidswirl dot com, if you're interested), essentially a blatant ripoff of Facebook. Fine, until its profanity filter was realised to be even more troublesome than Neopets. As well as the usual (*** le from title, p*** from 'pass' - also looks much worse if you say 'passing') It censors all racial slurs, which would be fine except 1) most racial slurs are also common words, such as 'slope' 'drag' and 'mick' (good luck talking about Mickey Mouse, Japan, Japanese, or dragons), 2) Most kids wouldn't know what a racial slur is, let alone know many of these incredibly obscure ones, 3) those of us with a large vocabulary have most of their sentences censored out- a problem I also had as a 12year-old on Neopets. Furthermore, some of the censors are baffling: all numerals are censored (although the whole words are not), and the word 'Russian' is, for some reason, also censored. * Thingdom, a game where you can breed things. This troper, on getting to a certain stage, got a creature with an hourglass shape. Uncreative me decides to call it 'hourglass'. Yeh, it took me a while to figure out why that was a swearword. * This troper was playing a ScienceHero in a superheroes RPG and wrote a short description of her powers only to see it come out as "Gadgeteering means I can build things [[IronMan in a cave with a box of s[DELETED]s." ]] * Peaceday.org used to have a chatroom which had a profanity filter, it caused a certain amount of amusement due to the changes it made to some words. It changed "fuck" to "love", "shit" to "smile", and the cword to "beauty". At first "ass" was included in the filter but was removed as words like "assume" became "posteriorume". Another one

which was eventually removed was "hate" being changed to "love"... * [[Tropers/{{Lime}} This Troper]] was playing Old Maid on [=TinierMe=] when someone brought up [[LolCats Ceiling Cat]]. Then another player tried to say something about Ba'''semen'''t Cat... Oddly enough, "bastard" and "damn" are apparently a-okay, as the first person found out, but "semen" and "sucks" aren't. * This troper found out that "queer" "gay" and "cock" all had inappropriate meanings when they caused her to first get warnings from and then booted from a chat site * [[Tropers/{{Twentington}} This troper]] used to have the hardest time looking up information on the city of Gaylord, Michigan at his high school. Incidentally, one of his teachers was from there. ** And another time, the same troper found a lot of people having difficulty on a ''[=~Jeopardy!~=]'' forum discussing a clue dealing with Balaam's ass (as in, the donkey kind). * This Troper has an excoboard forum, which has 2 different types of filters. One that plays the trope straight, and another that averts it. ** This Troper hopes to become a Game Master at some point, and will bring it up with her future employees * Because of the censor in one version of [[PhantasyStar Phantasy Star Online]], [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] adopted "cork****" as his catch phrase (I was actually saying "corkscrew", but apparently "screw" was a banned work) * Oddly enough, on a forum which censored "Snigger" I only ever saw the subject of race arise as a result of this feature. * I knew someone on a now-defunct ''WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' fan forum who attempted to have the username "bitchinwallaby" (after a joke ''from the show''). It was changed to "pregnant dog in heatinwallaby". * The day I see a filter like [[MyImmortal "God, you are so fucked up you fucking basmentally disabled person"]], my faith in humanity will be restored. * [[{{Nyperold}} I]], the writer of the Whuddleworld example, am currently puzzling over a post i'm trying to make there, reviewing ''EndlessOcean Blue World''. I took out a reference to the '''cardinal''' bird that you wouldn't see, as opposed to the cardinal fish ('''cardinal''' being a position in the Catholic Church) and replaced it with "robin" and "sea robin"; I took out "sal'''vag'''e and replaced it with its definition; I took out '''gun''' and replaced it with "long-range healer" (this referring to the Pulsar, a gunlike piece of equipment in the game, used for healing sick and injured animals and calming some aggressive ones), and it's still spitting back "Stop swearing." at me. I still can't see what is wrong with my post. As far as I can tell, nothing is, beyond the fact that some substring I can't see is tripping the filter's trigger. * This troper used to post on a forum whose system had an...interesting automatic censor. In the developers' defence it could be customised by an admin, but the default settings were extremely silly. Various words for "penis" became "thingy" - just about understandable - but an absurd extension of this principle led to "pussycat" being rendered as "girl thingycat" (yes, really, "girl thingy") and "my assistants" as "I disagreeistants".

* "Snigger" is mentioned on the article page; This Troper once wrote "sniggered" in a forum post somewhere and saw it rendered as "s(BAN ME!)ed". * This troper first encountered the overzealous nature of City of Heroes' chat filter when the name of an NPC got rendered Bone*******. After being amused by the fact that an NPC had a name we apparently weren't suppose to say, I had to do an google search to figure out why "cracker" would be censored in the first place. The answer provided further amusement. * On one forum I was a member of, whenever someone typed the word "bollocks," it would automatically be replaced with "testicles." This happened to be a music forum with a lot of SexPistols fans. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity often ensued.]] -Toru771 * Norwegian has the swear word "faen". I have seen the word "sofaen"("the couch") censored into "sof***" several places because of this. * This troper once posted in an online roleplaying chatroom (can't remember which site) with some rather... ''creative'' censorship, leading to someone "cokeing" their gun, as well as out-of-character discussion of the poetry of Emily Richardenson. The best, though, was posting lyrics to a certain Tom Jones song and ending up with "What's new, portable wishwashercat?" * On one forum, I can't remember which, any word that started with 'f' and ended with 'ck' was censored. Firetruck, flapjack...on another forum, the {{Spore}} forums to be specific, the word 'cracker' was censored. Which led to an interesting scenario where I tried to explain to people why I love ****. * I wanted to nickname a [[PokemonGenerationVFamilies Cofagrigus]] "Sarcofaghost" but the character limit forced me to abbreviate it. In retrospect, I should've stuck with "Sarcfghost" instead of "Sarcfaghst". [[HypocriticalHumor Note that "Cofagrigus" has the same problem.]] * For a while, this troper was getting auto-kicked from Source-engine game servers immediately upon log-on for violating the profanity filter. It turned out that a particularly stupid version of some popular filter mod was circulating at the time, which was interpreting the handle "Night Hunter" as profane (apparently because the word "night" contains "nig", which was not to be allowed). This troper has always wondered about the priorities that motivate language filters in games where one is able to happily murder other avatars in cuttingedge-graphic detail. Are there really people out there who think someone can emotionally/psychologically handle/compartmentalize/contextualize simulated violence but not strongly-expressive words? * I was very confused as a child when a game I was playing online wouldn't let me name a zebra "Speedy" (most likely because of the drug 'speed', but I didn't understand this at the time). * This Troper (as a 10 or 11 year old) was very sad and confused at first when she was unable to name her Webkinz "Georgie" ''or'' "Georgy"! ...Although her young self was able to figure out why [[CovertPervert in a matter of seconds.]] * I used to hang around a forum that blocked the word "suck." When

someone innocently tried to start a conversation about black holes and found that a description of what they do to the surrounding matter was rendered as a string of asterisks, this began to present a problem. It wound up becoming an in-joke to replace the word "suck" with "syphon" in any context whatsoever. * [[{{@/TARDISES}} I]] haven't really come across this except from loose filters. You'd think I would have, considering I'm from [[{{TropeNamer}} Scunthorpe]] itself. * This Troper computer is set up with Parental Controls... which, although it lets curse-laden pages sail right through, blocks OrderOfTheStick due to the way GiantInThePlayground phrases its URL. * A brand new swear filter on a Minecraft server I visit resulting in some annoying problems. "ass" was filtered without context meaning talking about glass or grass was difficult. "ass" was removed from the filter within a couple days, but that was not the end of it. The word "skyscraper", not uncommon in Minecraft, had the "rape" part censored; luckily "crap" is not censored or it would really be in trouble. I am considering calling them "skyphukers" until the problem is fixed. * Remember TetrisFriends, anyone? When I said, "will u stay", it warned me not to swear. The blame can be pinned on the wordfilter that censored "lust", but the filter was applied [[UpToEleven across word boundaries.]] * This Troper got ****-a-doodle-doo in a forum. Make a guess. ---Go back to [[ScunthorpeProblem S****horpe Problem]] <<|TroperTales|>>

SdrawkcabName * A girl in my math class was writing on the chalkboard: [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Ayim, Eilrahc and Anna!]] * [[Tropers/DrLombriz This Troper]] was playing a ''Champions'' game once, and the party had failed to stop a [[HopelessBossFight powerful]] [[YouCantThwartStageOne supervillain]] called "The Sapphire", a supertough magical gem. Later, a foreign national hears of the fight and invites us to the island of Count Erihppas to promote his country's tourism market. We didn't even notice until [[OhCrap the trap was sprung]] and the DM wrote Erihppas' name in front of us, doing all he could to hold back the maniacal cackling. [[AtomicFBomb Ffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-]] * This Troper went to a school where one oddly placed classroom was labeled the Emanon Room. While it looks like it the room was named after someone, it turns out it wasn't named after anybody at all... * [[{{Tropers/Cemex}} This Troper]] is currently playing a ''D&D'' campaign where a Sdrawkcab Name was used for my own amusement. My character's name? Ambrose Selcitset. * This female troper has a name [[spoiler:like a certain famous painting]] with quite a few vowels and tends to use it backwards when renaming male main character in RPG games. However, she also uses her normal name to rename the pricipal female character, occasionally leading to some {{Selfcest}}.

* This is how ThisTroper generates names for his NetHack characters. Get some random word and reverse it. * I'll admit when writing a story when I was about 13 or so, I thought it was the height of subtlety to name a character Neila. In my defense she wasn't literally an alien, just a CloudCuckoolander, and Neila is a legitimate first name, although I didn't know that at the time. * In a story [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] was writing, the main character happens to meet his alternate universe OppositeSexClone, who's name was his own written backwards. * This Troper had a slight obsession with this in the fourth and fifth grade. * A partial example: This troper wrote a story in high school where one character was apprenticed to a TimeMaster, training to take his place eventually. Her name? Emi Tenoz. (Spell it backwards and switch the two halves.) * My friend Lauren blames her evil twin Nerual for everything * This troper's twitter account is his username backwards. * This troper played a game in elementary (primary) school where we wrote our names backwards on a piece of paper and introduced ourselves with that name. ex. Hailey; "Hello, my name is Yeliah" etc. * I play D&D, and we once had someone in our group named David, who, as a joke, wanted to name his character Emosewa Si Divad. * [[{{Tropers/Bakazuki}} This troper]] was named his father's name backwards, and his father's reasons for doing so still allude him. While most people have brought to the attention that he's old enough to legally change his name, he keeps it because he doesn't find the name itself particularly bothersome and knows that the people who already know him would stick to the original name regardless. Typical scenarios that happen after the initial reaction (from shock and bewilderment to a minute long lollercoaster, among other things): ** Troper deals with some good-mannered jokes at his expense for the next couple of weeks. ** Troper has to resign to being referred to by his father's name either because they can't say it properly or they get a few kicks from doing so (see above). ** Troper has to convince the person he's talking to that he's not spouting BS from his mouth. Usually by pulling out his student ID, an option that's sometimes unavailable when convincing colleagues he just started interacting with over the internet for a project when the class they share has no roll call. *** [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle So tropers]], think twice before naming your kids something weird, especially if it has a clearly traceable origin like a SdrawkcabName. They'll have to put up with above every month or so. And no, this troper is not going to publically post either name. Not here, anyway. =P * This troper has been known as Trebor (or as he likes to spell it "Trbor") since the seventh grade, four years later he uses it for stuff on the internet and some people still call him Trebor. * We had a joke, so-and-so is going to name his baby Lana backwards. * Me and my friend invented our own language which is written and spoken backwards. Unlike the title of this trope, it is read the opposite way round. Sometimes when we have been chatting in it for a

while, I forget to speak English when talking to other people-not yet managed to talk to my friend in our language, but talk to other people normally at the same time. * [[Tropers/WarriorSparrow This troper]] was just reading the TroperTales page for NothingIsScarier, and a random thing occurred to her when she looked at the word "Troper" - if you write "troper" backwards, it's "report", which makes sense considering what we troopers do... * Several of my online character names are done in this style. It all started with Eman Modnar... * This troper's annoying little brother's name sounds remarkably like 'Naughty' when pronounced backwards. ---Og kcab ot [[SdrawkcabName Backwards Enam]]. (Wait a sec...) ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SealedEvilInATeddyBear * In my [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]] campaign, the party's [[SquishyWizard wizard]] and [[KnightTemplar paladin]] were attacked by Dire Lions, and the wizard [[BalefulPolymorph Baleful Polymorphed]] one of them into a kitten, which he now keeps as a pet.

SecondSinoJapaneseWar * This Troper's maternal grandfather was a Communist Guerrilla in the Second Sino-Japanese War. According to my mother, he and his unit were being chased up a small mountain by Imperial forces. He jumped off the mountain and broke his legs. My paternal grandmother happened to be a village girl. She had her village burned down numerous times by the Japanese. Even then, she still found it in herself to provide cover for guerrillas from the Japanese.

SecondVerseCurse * This troper's grandfather knows the verse in question, and occasionally sings it. From memory, it goes something like this: --->God grant that Marshall Wade\\ May with Thy glorious aid\\ Victory bring\\ May he sedition hush\\ And like a torrent rush\\ Rebellious Scots to crush\\ God save the King * This troper used to go singing Christmas carols. Many people happily sing along with the first few lines of The Pudding Song (better known as "We Wish You A Merry Christmas") then stand around in utter confusion when they realize the song is much longer than they know. * This troper once confused the dickens out of her church choir by being the only one able to sing the second and third verses of "Adeste Fideles" ([[BilingualBonus "O Come All Ye Faithful" in Latin]]) from

memory...despite never showing up for rehearsals. * [[Tropers/{{Twentington}} This troper]], a church organist, didn't know that "What Child Is This?" had the extra lines about "nails, spear shall pierce him through" until he opened up a Lutheran hymnal. He also wonders why most renditions of "Winter Wonderland" go back to "Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'" instead of the verse that begins "When it snows, ain't it thrillin'". * This troper (who went to a predominantly black elementary school and also identifies as black) regularly had to sing the African-American anthem, "Lift Every Voice and Sing." However, she and the rest of the school were only ever made to sing the first verse. The lyric sheet we were given only contained that first one, so it would be easy for young children to get the idea that the one verse was the whole song. When she had to sing it at a family reunion, her older relatives were not pleased that to find out that she did not know the rest of the song. To be fair, she knew there were more verses, just not the specific words. ---I never knew that the Troper National Anthem had a [[SecondVerseCurse second verse]]...did you? ----

SecretIdentity * This troper's school allowed us to dress up as superheroes for Homecoming Week. This troper went as Rorschach from Watchmen. He was amazed by the reactions to his costume. People stared, looked horrified, said ''out loud'' how creepy he looked, and generally treated him like he was from another planet. He loved it and decided to go completely into character, turning his head to stare intensely at those who made "creepy" remarks. His use of Rorschach's low, raspy voice for the entire day only served to complete the spectacle. The feeling of power and superiority he got that day just by putting on an inkblot mask...this troper likes it more than he's willing to admit. ** This troper is extremely curious - was it anything like Rorschach's actual mask, always changing? *** Nope, just one fixed pattern. But it was one of Rorschach's more creepy looking patterns, so the effect wasn't ''quite'' lost. ** I did the same thing at the Halloween dance at my school with my Rorshcach costume.( My ink blot was the one that looked liked a creepy jagged smile. ** I did the same thing for a convention. I even walked up to my friend, she acknowledged that I was there but she didn't know it was me. I was just standing there, staring, and she kept looking at me. I finally said hi and she freaked out. ** Crowning. Moment. Of. Awesome. ** Holy crap, tropers, get ready for a REAL LIFE DECONSTRUCTION. Imagine, if you will, ''effing Rorschach'' walking into the library at your school halfway through English class, looming around, rasping something to the teacher and slinking over to sit in the corner and ''pulling out a copy of his own comic book'' for maximum Surreal Points. Hat, coat, scarf, the full monty. It was goddamn uncanny. This

troper thought he was gonna get up and start breaking fingers, and she hadn't even read the book, just the Wikipedia article. She was debating whether trying to get a picture with him would be a bad idea when the Scary Infamous Vice-Principal storms in like Hurricane Katrina and barks at him that he can't wear a hat in here, it's against school policy, the coat belongs in his locker, and he KNOWS he can't have a mask on - what if he shanked someone? What if he ''used his cellphone in the hallway?'' How could they see him on the security tapes? It was Rorschach, [[HeroicSociopath heroic sociopath]] of page and screen, that closed his eyes. It was Jeff, that annoying kid from Block B Phys Ed who opened them, pulled the scary mask (that had, in the intervening period, suddenly turned into be-Sharpied pantyhose) off his face, and started whining something about [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purim#Masquerading Purim]]. Then the VP took his hat and his coat and he was totally wearing a shirt with a unicorn on it. And that, kids, is why Real Life sucks. ** Original poster's Journal, March 30, 2009. Read new post on Secret Identity about inferior version of me. Disgusted by how quickly "Jeff" compromised his morals. Another one of the inferior copies of me has been exposed for what he is. A pretender. A fake. A joke. Not Rorschach. Never Rorschach. I never surrender. I never compromise. Can't have my name being smeared by these masses of brain-dead imitators. Must have words with this "Jeff." Possibly with breaking of fingers involved. *** Troper's Journal, April 1st, 2009. Read this post, tried to copy it. Amused. Telling story. Purim. Shaved head, after growing hair for four years. Came to school as Rorschach. After hour and a half, got bored, removed costume. Received more shock over new hair than over creepy costume. Win. Now looks like Dreiberg. * This troper sometimes eats at restaurants where they ask you your name for your order (e.g. starbucks). When they do, he says "Mike". His secret? His names not Mike! MUHAHAHAHAHAH ** I do the same. I don't trust those people behind the counter at Taco Bell. * This troper does this on a regular basis. He also pulls some Clark Kenting into effect. He also wears makeup on some occasions. * This troper has ''attended church'' dressed as SherlockHolmes. ** So this tropette isn't the only one! I once went as CarmenSandiego to church too on a dare (although I actually got compliments on the red). ** This tropette is fond walked around the mall in a leather duster and boots. [[HarryDresden Of course, no one gets the reference.]] * This troper does this on a regular basis, occasionally with props. * A former student at my college used to have a secret identity as Spider Man. He would walk around campus, climb on the rooftops and generally entertain the other students in full spiderman getup while the entire student body wondered who the hell he was. He even got the college staff to make him a college ID card in the name of "Spider Man" so he could go to the dining hall in costume. Eventually, his identity was discovered when he fell off a roof and had to be taken to the hospital. This man, Matthew Atherton, later graduated and went on to win the first season of WhoWantsToBeASuperhero.

** You know Feedback? Awesome! What was he like? *** Sadly I never met him, he graduated before I got there. I'd have to ask one of my older classmates next time I see them. * One of this tropers friends went to her schools halloween dance dressed as the dark knight verison of the joker, she had a somewhat simlar case to the Rorschach one, but instead imagaine seeing the joker doing the chicken dance, in the end she got first place in the costume contest. ** The funny thing is the Joker might actually do the chicken dance. This troper can see it! *** So can I, although he'd be doing the dance while releasing chickens rigged with high explosives into a crowd. *** Actually I can imagine him doung it and shooting people on the 'Buck, Buck, Buck, Buck" part. * {{Hayati}} is this troper's secret idenity for the internet, since is a bit too cautious when it comes to people on the net. * This Troper saw this put into action at her theater school's Halloween Dance when a guy showed up in a chicken suit. He not only won a prize but ''stayed in character the enter night''. At least, until This Troper saw him go into the bathroom, taking off the head. She later confronted him and they are now friends. ** Another friend of hers went to a later Halloween Dance as Richter Belmont from Castlevania. A very much female friend, might I add. A girl was hitting on her, and she played along the whole night. The girl never knew she was flirting with another girl until she was told. * A friend of this troper would occasionally walk around school dressed in a black ninja outift & punch out bullies before running away, no one knew who it was, except for their closest friends, now the awesome part, they were MALE bullies, the ninja, while unable to tell this from the costume, was a girl, a real girly girl, even wore make up & skirts, it was badass. * During Spirit Week at the college this troper attends, this troper made and wore her own Metal Man costume for Costume Day. No one knew it was this troper until she answered roll call with "Affirmative". * In high school, this troper was in the marching band, and one year we did {{Batman}} as our field show. To complete the effect, instead of the normal band uniform, the student conductor (sadly, not me) that stood at the side of the field was issued a full-on ''freaking Batman suit''. And not just like some cheap Halloween costume, it was molded plastic and rubber, and looked straight out of TheDarkKnightTrilogy. Furthermore, the lucky student conductor was actually able to wear it ''around school during the normal school day'', making many people wonder just who was under that mask. This troper knew...but won't tell. ---[[SecretIdentity Don't tell anyone but...]] I really am ReportSiht. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SecretIdentityIdentity * This troper has started to think of herself as the name she uses online, rather than her birth name. The reasons for this are long, complicated and angsty, but the short version is that online she has a thriving social life and in person she has no friends and is about two steps away from {{Hikikomori}} status. (The name issue hasn't really become apparent except when she says things following the "adjective name is adjective" structure about herself, granted.) Of course, it's a bit more complicated than the trope's usual form, since she's a bit of a StepfordSmiler online rather than just having the cyberspace version be her real self and the meatspace version be a mask. * This troper is a StepfordSmiler in real life and would rather be anti-social than in the online community. ** Exactly the same reasons for This troper. The main difference is that he's a guy but besides that, online I too have a thriving social life, whereas in person I'm the "loners are freaks" type. ** Update from the original troper: I told an online friend about this and, with the intention of forcing the tide back, he started a campaign to call me by my real name online. It did sway how I identify myself, but not quite as intended: now I don't identify with ''either'' name. ** It's worse for me. I think of myself as my online name, unless I'm thinking of something that would make me use I. What do I use? This Troper. In my mind I call myself This Troper. [[TvTropesWillRuinYourLife Tv Tropes Will Ruin Your Mind.]] *** This troper has been doing that lately. :/ *** This troper does it too! Wait, does that mean we're all talking/thinking in [[ThirdPersonPerson Third Person?]] *** This troper does that too! ** [[JET73L This troper]] did that for a couple of years, but thanks to most of his extended family calling him by his middle name (which he hasn't gone by since he was eight), his "It's Complicated" significant other type person calling him by his first name (which, being an inherited name, he never before went by), and anyone who calls him by his initials (the name he prefers for general made-ofmeat people conversation) usually not bothering with a name at all, he doesn't really identify with any name. ("Jet", "______", and "_._." are him, but he is not those.) He also uses ThisTroper in his thoughts, but only as a pronoun, like "I" or "my". It reminds him uncomfortably of PeterSellers, since each name tends to bring different characteristics closer to the surface (especially when playing [=RPG=]s, where his two most common MMO names tend to end up as a naive male magic-user or a cynically playful female thief, regardless of how he intends to play them or even if, for example, the latter personality wouldn't be well-suited for the abilities of a TechnicalPacifist botanical druid). * I used to hide behind StepfordSmiler behavior online too, but recently, an event happened in ''Main/WorldOfWarcraft'' (hey, don't laugh at me!) that made me completely rethink my personal identity. While even before, I treated my online nickname as my real self and my legal name as a role I play, now I've dispensed with fake behavior on the Internet entirely -- now I'm just myself. Even some of my real-

life friends call me by the online nickname. * This troper definitely thinks of herself more as her online identity than as her real self. The only difference though, is that online, she can come up with funnier lines in response to something someone says. ** You too? This troper blames her significantly decreased ability to say witty things IRL on shyness reducing her confidence, and, more importantly, the fact that it's much easier to catch something that's either just plain dumb or a good idea but stupidly phrased if it takes time to type it out and hit enter, rather than blurting it out as soon as it enters one's mind. * [[LWGadra This troper]] has always been Link Wraith Gadra. His "real" name is nothing more than lines on paper. * [[DokEnkephalin This troper]] has answered to online handles just as casually as his real name. And 'Dok' has become a pet name my real life gf has called me, and likewise I've called my SO by names she uses online. Though I tend not to get too personal in fantasy RP and RPG environments, the distinction between me in reality and me living under imaginary circumstances doesn't seem great enough to regard it as a separate identity. * [[{{Malus}} This Troper]] has recently noticed that whenever addressing himself in thought he thinks "Malus" instead of his actual name and has almost once accidentally introduced himself as such. * [[JChance This troper]] answers equally to JChance or his real first name, and often, in his mind, calls himself [=JC=] <lastname>. His onand off-line personae don't differ much, mostly just that when he types he doesn't stammer. Now for the confusing part--[=JC=] are also his grandfather's first and middle initials. ** Is your last name Denton? *** Nah, but I'm surprised you're the first one to make the joke. **** I am? Cool ([[{{Klaue}} This Troper]] goes on to pretend that this couldn't possibly just be sarcasm) * [[{{LadyNorbert}} This troper]] was addressed, in real life, by her online handle, which she uses for everything, including fanfic. The speaker was a SherlockHolmes impersonator who belongs to the same Baker Street Irregulars scion society that she does, but has trouble remembering her real name. Since the troper has written half of a pastiche novel featuring Sherlock Holmes, she remarked to a friend later that "for a moment, I thought I had fallen into my own brain." * I've had to sign up to a website, and when they asked for my real name, the thought that came to mind was to put down one of my roleplay character's names. * This is fairly common among furries. I know several, myself included, which always refer to themselves by their nick. That I don't like my real name makes this worse. * When this troper pictures herself mentally she has auburn hair and hazel eyes. In real life both are chocolate brown. She also doesn't consider her IRL last name "canon", but won't change it legally because it would upset her father. * This troper has begun thinking of herself as "this troper". Also-- I have been ''Alice'' online for as long as I can remember. ''Alice'' is who I am. ''Mary'' is what people call me. It's a good way to phase out people I don't want to listen to-- do they approach me as "Mary",

as "Alice", or as Rhoswyn or Skazka? * This troper has answered to an Avatar's name at a con once. The kicker? The Avatar is a different sex from the person behind the keys. * While I answer equally to "Akimi" and "Katherine", nine times out of ten I get called "Aki". Probably because it's easier to snap at me than the three-syllable names. * This troper hasn't been directly addressed by her real name for so long that it always disorients her when someone does so. I'm called "Ah girl" or "girl ah". Yes, you may laugh now. * This troper does consider himself to be his online identity first, and that the 'real life' persona is a fake put up to keep people away. * This troper has a rather... ''Interesting'' relationship with her real name. It's just a thing that describes me. Neither are my online handles proper descriptors for my identity, either. (I've had to tell one of my RL friends that I am ''not'' LG.) I probably should be worried about this, but I'm not. I tend to find my online behaviour varying depending on what username I'm using. (Weird, that. Anyone else have similar experiences?) So, in essence, I have many different masks, most of which act somewhat differently from how I am in my own headspace. ** You're not alone. I would consider my nicknames [[SockPuppet Sock Puppets]] but they have no propose at all. One of them is a normal guy, another a zen fiction writer and I'm also a rather childlike fangirl but I didn't try to play a character I only have get used to things being like this. ** [[JET73L This Troper]] above, does ("This Troper" being the name, the link to the contributor page being only so you can tell which This Troper posted this). * This troper has a tendency to adopt mannerisms, behaviors, and patterns of thinking of the protagonist in his stories. Which consdidering the [[NightmareFuel sort of]] [[FetishFuel stories he writes]] can be a bit unnerving. Even talking to most people he adapts a slightly different persona depending on where he is. Which he's found has helped, because [=LeFarr=] is a lot better at dealing with people than he is. To the point that as [=LeFarr=] he's helped someone go from homeless and broke to making 1000 dollars a month as an artist. The only people online he's really himself as are his boyfriend, his ex-girlfriend, and a small pro wrestling forum that he nearly never posts in. ** That happens to [[JET73L this one]] with stories or films being read, or planning a character's actions or thought process on a story while doing something else. (With all these relevancies, I need to either figure out how to consolidate my additions to this page while somehow keeping the statement-answer connections intact, or just mark myself down as the personification of SecretIdentityIdentity on the TV Tropes WMG page). * This troper did this in highschool, but out of necessity. There were four other Sams in his grade (of 66), and at least as many in each other year. * While [[{{Brosandi}} This Troper]] has a pretty unique name, she answers to Brosandi mainly because she's a budding grafitti artist and is used to peeps yelling at her when tagging. It's a name security

blanket, quite honestly. I also answer to Reid, for reasons unknown. * [[{{GatoNephist}} This troper]] generally identifies herself more with her online name than her real one, perhaps simply because it's something that she actually chose for herself. * This Troper had a minor mental breakdown partly related to this. When I write dialog, I do it by getting into the character's head. The breakdown was when I was working on a very, VERY dark deconstruction. The breakdown was also caused by some significant stress from completely unrelated reasons, but anytime you have to adopt the MadnessMantra "I am my own character" to convince yourself that you aren't a piece of fiction, you're dealing with this. ---Which page is the real one? The original SecretIdentityIdentity, or its TroperTales? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SecretTestOfCharacter Secret Tests of Characters, as witnessed by these most secret characters, the Tropers! -----* Long ago, back when this troper was her in second-last year of primary school, the entire year ended up taking an excursion to an old camphouse ground out in the bush. On the first day we were shown a long but very low to ground obstacle course out back and seperated into four groups who were placed at opposite ends of the course and made to compete at crossing the obstacle course without touching the ground, while using two planks of wood, a rope and a sandbag (none of which were allowed to touch the ground and had to be taken to the end) as our only tools and with only the 'group leaders' the teachers had just chosen allowed to speak. For extra incentive the winners would get icecream if no one accidently spoke or fell to the ground. The first two groups went out and the first immediately cheated by walking across the ground everytime they thought the teachers weren't looking. When the entire second group lost it and called them out about it, both teams were sent off to their cabins and told they'd have to do it again tomorrow. My group (the third) and the fourth were next, and while the other team did exactly as the first and cheated across pretty much the entire course, the group I was in did as we were told; we shut up, ignored the other team and concentrated on getting to the other end as quickly and carefully as we could. Because we didn't complain about them, the other team easily beat us to the other side and (since they were now allowed to talk) proceeded to taunt us about being slow, clumsy, etc. Eventually we made it to the end and the teachers got all of us groups back together... In order to inform us that what we had just done was an old training program for mountain side emergencies, with the sand

bags we were carrying meant to represent food bags, the ground meant to represent the drop off the edge of a cliff and the reason we weren't to talk was to avoid tiggering an avalanche. If that wasn't sobering enough we were then told that those who did not pass this test today would miss out on the day's kiaking but if they didn't pass before we left they wouldn't be allowed on the final year ski trip. ** Take a quick guess who's group was the only one that didn't have to re-take that test that day. -----* This troper is conducting a rather simple and even not-so-secret one with his girlfriend: Recently, [[OutOfCharacterMoment she cheated on him]] because she thought they were going to [[BreakUpToMakeUp break up temporarily]]. She confessed right away and regrets what she did, but in order for this troper to know for sure, he has simply stated 'he can't handle this again.' All she has to do is simply NOT cheat on him again or see the other person, who conveniently lives far away. This seems pretty simple, because an honestly sorry person wouldn't do something wrong twice. Should she fail this test then she will not receive the leniency she did for her first offense, which has caused this usually confident troper to have a secret {{HeroicBSOD}}. ** Good news is that she passed the test after I asked her about it this weekend. Bad-ish news is that I still broke up with her in order for her to get her head straight. Sucks because we really do love each other. We will get back together in half a year or so (maybe sooner), although I will always be very cautious about her actions, because I will not be cuckolded and I will never be screwed over twice. * There is a story (which may be an UrbanLegend) about a student taking a philosophy exam -- on the paper was the question, "What is courage?". The student simply wrote "This" and left the exam hall -he was awarded full marks. ** Similarly, another urban myth has a philosophy final exam which was simply the question, "Why?" The student answers, "Why not?" and turns in the exam. It turns out he's the only student that gets full marks, as the simple, yet elegant answer proves he has the soul of a philosopher. *** The "soul of a philosopher" sounds suspiciously like the soul of a smartass to me. **** If you've ever read anything by or about Socrates...pretty much, yeah. *** This troper heard that story from a teacher. Apparently, another student wrote "Just because" and got a C. *** This troper's mother actually got this final exam in a college philosophy class that emphasized the Socratic method. She didn't give the correct answer, but she still got a B for the essay she wrote discussing the question. She found out later that the weird guy who never attended class was the only one who answered correctly and got an A. ***** This troper had a music teacher with a philosophy degree where the final exam question was 'is there a god?'. She told the story of the guy that simply wrote 'yes' and headed off to the pub, and ended up getting a First. (The top award in a UK degree course.) *** In a similar line, this troper was given a question on an

economics test asking the students to explain the main characteristics of "a state of Cournot-Nash monopolism". Since there's an economic concept called "Cournot-Nash oligopoly", every one of us assumed it was a mistake and described the existing economic concept, only to be told that the question was included as a trick and the answer was "There's no such thing". Thankfully, it was only an in-class test; if that had been pulled on a major exam, somebody would have ended that day lynched. **** Another variant of the philosophy test story goes like this: "Is this a test?" "No, but this IS an answer." **** I had a statistics professor whose pet peeve was the use of "data" as a singular noun, and on the first day of class, he said there would be a "What is wrong with this sentence?" question on the final where the answer was "It uses 'data' as a singular noun." True to his word, it was there, and people were asking where to write their answers, because it didn't fit in the (actually rather generous) space provided. ***** Similarly, this troper had a Bio/Chem teacher who started the year with scientific naming conventions and extolled the awesomeness of the name of the Douglas Fir, telling us it would be on the Final Exam. And never mentioned it again. Everyone who remembered ''Pseudotsuga menziesii menziesii'' at the end of the year got a chance to politely snicker at those who didn't... **** This troper's friend once took a Philosophy final exam in which his teacher placed a chair on his desk and asked the class to write an essay proving that said chair did not exist. My friend was the only one to get perfect marks. His answer? "What Chair?" ***** [[MSPaintAdventures What pumpkin?]] ***** This troper has heard several versions of that story. * And a second example this troper lived through, from Biology class in high school. A teacher asked a class to prove to him that his car was not alive. He had an argument for every single theory the class could come up with, including that there was nothing alive in the car (the wooden panels, actually, used to be alive), it didn't breathe (actually, engines require air, so yeah, it respirates), and it didn't eat or drink (requires fuel to run, so... actually, yeah!). Finally, one member of the class stood up and said, " Prove to us your car's not ''dead''." We so thoroughly used his own arguments against himjust reversed- that he gave the whole class an A on an upcoming test that we didn't have to take. ** Why didn't anyone point out it couldn't reproduce? Prove it's not dead is pretty dumb from a bio standpoint. *** [[JustifyingEdit Eunuchs can't reproduce either...]] *** Cars don't grow. All living things grow for some portion of their life cycle. Yes, all of them. Even the paradoxical frog. **** They do grow, in a sense, while you're making the car. *** Indeed, the definition of life requires a lot of refining - ''The Biology of StarTrek'' pointed out that all kinds of things could count as alive depending on your definition - growth (crystals), using energy (fire) and so forth. (Then it pointed out that the ''Trek'' answer to the question of "what is life" was "all of the above", what with things like the Horta and all the {{Energy Being}}s.)

*** A car can not self repair/heal whereas all other life forms can. **** Does that mean that installing an automatic troubleshooting app would bring my computer's operating system to life? ** And nobody argued that as all living things replicate themselves (at the very least, are composed of cells that replicate themselves), and as not even at the 'cellular' level do cars in any sense have this ability one can prove cars are definitely not alive... well, all I can say is {{YouFailBiologyForever}}. *** Not all living things can replicate themselves. You can be alive and infertile. Plenty of colony animals are even alive and sterile by design. (Does this make cars the sterile offspring of the "queen" automobile factory?) And not all cells in a multicellular organism are capable of replication either. You could argue that the car isn't made of cells, but that seems like a very narrow definition of life. *** Even infertile things replicate themselves on the cellular level. Do you really think biology has such flimsy definitions and standards that the definition of life would be broken in the face of infertility? YOU fail biology forever. I ain't even gonna link to the page. And FYI, to be considered alive, something must exhibit all of the following; cellular organization, metabolism, homeostasis, growth and reproduction (the theoretical capability, not necessarily the actual capability, i.e. infertile things don't fail the definition of life) and heredity. If that class full of geniuses couldn't come up with a way to demonstrate that a car isn't alive, clearly they never even read Chapter 1 of their Biology book (and the professor is more of an idiot for giving the WHOLE CLASS an A for ONE smartass's snarky, wannabe-rebel response -- a more accurate counter would be, "That's not the way science works; you don't disprove things, you prove things. It's up to you to prove that the car is alive, not us to prove it isn't."). ** Take a gun and shoot the cars gas tank. Then drive it till it dies. The car is now not "alive". ** What about having genetic information, undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, respond to stimuli or adapt to their environment through natural selection? * Aged 11, this troper sat a test at school where the first instruction was "Read everything before you do anything" and most of the rest involved doing things like making holes in the test paper or shouting out silly words. The last instruction was, "Don't do any of the previous instructions." This troper was one of only two members of the class to pass, mainly because she intuited that since the teacher wouldn't normally let anybody make holes in the test paper or shout out, there had to be a catch. ** This troper took the test too - more than once, he believes. It's probably fairly common, but he doesn't know the "official" name, if there even is one. ** This troper took it... and failed. ;_; It was silent work, like doing calculations, not {{shout out}}s or holes, though. ** This troper took a version without shouting and passed and, as a bonus, was able to spend the last 15 minutes of the test watching a fellow student snicker about the test's lack of difficulty, and said student's reaction to the final instruction.

** Well ''hello'' Mr Fancypants! ''This'' troper failed like the rest of his class. And the members that didn't fail? They'd taken it already! ** This troper took the test, read all the way to the end, didn't do any of the instructions, and was ''still'' failed on it because he got bored waiting for the rest of the class to catch on and doodled on the paper. (The instructor reasoned that the instructions said "don't do anything".) ** There's a classic variation of this trick used in math classes. Students are asked to multiply some outrageous list of numbers... which includes a 0 toward the end. *** And if you did that in a computer program, the compiler would probably optimize out the other terms. Gah! Our computers are already outsmarting us! [[AIIsACrapshoot We're doomed!]] ** We got this one in the form of "Please expand (a-x)(b-x)...(z-x)". It was this editor's friend that realised that (x-x) is 0. ** This troper got this test and spotted the trick to it immediately (having a natural tendency to glance at the bottom of a page), but started following all the other steps anyway after about 10 minutes of being bored to tears as the teacher waited way longer than any fifth grader he's ever met could possibly have needed. Later on, he got the same test in another setting, and spent the time writing out an explanation of how the test was impossible because the last instruction was poorly worded such that it required one to disobey itself. ** This troper was assigned this test out of a textbook. The teacher read the steps in order, marked each of the troper's answers wrong, and had to go back and cross out her own marks after reading the last instruction. *** This troper would like to point out to anyone taking this test in the future that you can simply argue that the test itself is absolutely pointless. Actually following the first instruction of "read everything" does not necessarily preclude doing anything after it. In other words, even if there is an actual final instruction of "Disregard everything else," it doesn't matter. You're supposed to do that last, after everything else! Naturally, this only holds if it is a listed instruction, which means it's part of a sequence (if it's just an admonition, no game). This troper seriously wishes he'd had the chance to do this, so godspeed! **** Actually "Don't do any of the previous instructions." includes don't do the first one, I.E. read the list, so you can point that logical error out too. ** On this troper's version the last step said to ignore everything but reading all of the questions and writing your name, so it's about following directions. I did read it, but I didn't have a clue what it meant (or just did some of the things; it was four years ago) so he failed anyway. *** Never done it himself, but this troper has had friends get that sort of test in foreign language classes. It was to see who knew the language well enough to understand that first instruction. *** This troper got that version as well, with 1 being "Read everything first", 2 being "Write your name in the square" and 30

being "Carry out only instructions 1 and 2." The response given? "There is no square on this paper, just a rectangle. Please try again." The marker wasn't at all impressed by my basic geometry knowledge and I failed it. But I scored the moral victory! *** Not really. The above troper looked silly by not getting the RefugeInAudacity he probably deserved. Not his fault, though. That marker should have been more GenreSavvy! ** This troper encountered the test in a literary work well before being given it in class, and therefore passed with flying colors. Score one for early readers! ** This troper encountered it as the first thing done on a course at school. I passed due to my diligence, patience, logical thinking ability and the fact that I had a friend who'd done the course the year before and had warned me about it. ** Almost everyone in this troper's fifth-grade class passed the testbecause we almost all cheated. My neighbors noticed I wasn't working on it, so they stopped, and so on... Talk about a WarpedAesop. ** It's me again, the troper who first mentioned this... I spent most of the test trying to suppress a fit of giggles. It's probably not a coincidence that the only other person who passed was sitting next to me. ** i loved that test. especially when i heard the groans of disbelief. IIRC, it said, disregard all previous instructions except the first two. ** This troper has had this test as well, and believes that it is one of those things Teachers do when they want an easy period. ** I got that test to. I spent the entire time writing an essay on why the test was stupid. I was the only one that passed. ** The successor to this test is one with a similar list of instructions. The tester tells you that it is not the one where the last instructions tells you NOT to carry out the previous instructions. You then check the last question (even the last three to be safe) and miss the FIRST instruction telling you to write the answers ABOVE the question. Shows how easily distracted you are, as well as allowing you to go over the answers (how many months have 28 days, answer: 12). ** Though not that extreme, this troper seems to recall a test or two which at the end told the taker they didn't have to do one or two of the most time-consuming problems, and is half-sure half-unsure that he had a test which instructed the students to shift their answers a couple questions up or down on a scantron sheet. ** This troper's father encountered a similar test- in college physics. The teacher told the class to read all the instructions carefully. The test was 100 problems long, so most of the class didn't bother. The third to last instruction, however, said to only do problems with numbers divisible by 25. ** But if it was the third last question out of 100 that said that it would have been the 97th question and technically every number is divisible by 25 just not as whole numbers. I am confused... *** instruction=/=question *** Also, in the context of the rational numbers, you use divides as ''a'' divides ''b'' if there exists a ''c'' in the integers such that

''ac'' = ''b''. Sorry about being a RulesLawyer, but this is fairly close to my BerserkButton. *** Also, "the third last question out of 100" is the 98th question. ** This troper took one of these in sixth grade which failed spectacularly when the teacher put "read all the questions first" at the top of the page but forgot to put the final question (aka the "disregard everything" question) on the sheet. When he got mad at (ALL) of us for not following directions, we pointed this out. To his credit, he was quite embarrassed and apologized for yelling at us. *** We once had a similar case. The last instruction was garbled badly by a faulty copier and wholly unreadable. So most of the class simply shrugged and proceeded to answer the rest of the question. Only one who already knew the test passed it and was insufferable smug about it. Might have been an Aesop about "not complaining when your copy is unreadable". ** This troper also had a test like that. I read the questions before reading the instructions to read all the questions first. After seeing the end, I pulled out a book and covered the last question. Cue berating from the person who sits near me, competing for top of the class since first grade. She goes along, and with five minutes left, gets to the end, and lets out a yell. The two of us were the only ones to read the last question, but I was the only one to pass. ** @/RobinZimm faced tests like this twice, and failed both times. GenreBlindness, anyone...? ** {{@/Griffin}} laughs at your puny minds! She encountered a similar problem in a kid's puzzle book (it was one of those where you take a phrase and edit it, and one instruction said "don't do number 4") and immediately thought, "One of the instructions must tell me to skip another instruction!" She had ''never'' seen this test before. ** This Troper took the test in sixth grade and proceeded to work halfway through, even asking the teacher a question for clarification regarding a question you weren't supposed to do. Then he figured out the trick and smiled. * This troper's psychology professor gave a portion of the class the task 'debate why stealing to save someone's life is wrong, from the perspective of the sixth stage of moral development'. At the end of the task, we were informed that no one at the sixth stage of moral development would ever argue that, so the only correct debate was, "We cannot debate this." ** Ah, but you could. Sixth stage is abstract principles. Is stealing the higher abstract principle from a justice prospective, or is it a disregardable law? A skilled psyche student should be able to debate anything. *** [[OrIsIt Or should he?]] **** You should stop before you cause this page to spontaneously combust. ***** [[LogicBomb Is it right to save this page from combusting]]? * This contributor's best friend would enact such a plan as this every six months. He would be embarrassing, rude, difficult, contrary, insulting, etc. in a deliberate attempt to drive away as many friends as possible. After about five years of this, the person settled down among those he considered "true friends" and went so far as to marry

the girlfriend who put up with all of that. ** Your best friend sounds like a Jerkass, according to this editor. Then again this editor is a cynical bastard as he happens to know people who would stay with the best friend because they are spineless and not because they are shining, wonderful people. *** Seriously. Who would put up with that? Some "best friend" that is, treating you like shit to confirm some warped standard of loyalty. **** Let me introduce you to {{House}}. **** ...which is a TV Show (and a mighty fine one at that!). If you enjoy watching a show about a JerkassStu being awesome, that's fine. If someone puts up with stuff like that in the real world for five years, they seriously need to grow a backbone. Or get better friends. Of course original troper, I say this only with the above paragraph for reference, and completely unaware of the full details of those 5 years. Just making a generalization...but he ''does'' sound pretty {{Jerkass}}-y. **** In fairness, that he enacted the plan once every six months implies a considerable amount of time without said plan... Sounds like he wanted to make sure they would stick together despite whatever fights may come, without actually picking a fight or leaving the others with any regrets. * This troper had a history final where the last question read "What grade do you think you deserve for this class?" This troper wrote "B" while his friend wrote "A". When the grades came in, his friend got a "B" while the troper got the "A". ** So much for students who believe that they can earn an "A" through hard work. ** Furthermore, what "history" did that exactly teach? "Humility leads to failure?" Reckon you should have given your teacher a bit of a talking to. *** Well... as written, it would be the opposite, since neither got the grade they said they thought they deserved. ** But is there any evidence that that question actually had an effect on the grade received? It could have been just the teacher's way of getting a feel for how students thought they did vs. how well they actually did. ** This troper always answers "B" to those questions, no matter how well she thinks she's doing, so the professor doesn't think she's too egotistical or too hard on herself. It's worked out so far. * This troper once had a college professor (of science) who told of a test where put a beaker of (fake) urine on a table, dipped a finger in and licked his finger, then told the class "Now do what I just did". It was a test of observation; the finger he dipped was not the finger he licked. ** [[@/JohnnyBGoode This troper]] knows a guy who was the victim of this when he was in Africa. With elephant dung. Yeah, he fell for it. ** This story was [[http://www.snopes.com/college/medical/urine.asp originally told]] about Dr. Joseph Bell, the man on whom SherlockHolmes was based. * [[@/{{Gattsuru}} This Troper]] went to a [[UsefulNotes/AmericanGunPolitics CCW]] class [[http://www.ohiogunpermit.com/ whose instructor]] has ''never''

failed someone for the range time or written test portions of the class. Not an overwhelmingly impressive statement, since both tests are fairly easy, but that's including a Dayton Daily News reporter who had come in intending to fail the range test in order to get a story. Several students have come out of the class without their certificate, though. Both the law, and the instructor's conscience, require him to sign off that a student is safe with a firearm. As a result, he's designed the class to involve a lot of time where students can make small talk, and have to handle loaded and unloaded firearms in a 'boring' situation. The written test and target practice is the state's requirement. His test, and the one not pointed out at the start of class, is that students who make off-color, racist, or sexist comments, or who point loaded or unloaded firearms in an unsafe direction be kicked out. * In middle school, this editor once took a ridiculously difficult final (for junior high level, at least) on the book ''Cry the Beloved Country, '' which included essay questions of a philosophical nature based on the themes of the book. The catch? At the ''very'' beginning of the test, written in the directions no less, were the words ''If you are reading this right now, do not take this test. Turn it in blank and watch your classmates squirm in their seats for the rest of the period.'' Most students eventually figured it out after realizing people were finishing their tests at impossible speed. (In hindsight this editor thinks that the teacher may just have had a perverse sense of humor rather than was actually trying to find out which students would read the directions.) ** This troper would say that the teacher mentioned above definitely had a perverse sense of humor. He/she used the word "squirm", for heaven's sake! ** This troper had a teacher who put actual questions in the directions for a computer class exam. And by "actual questions", he means "write the name of this class at the bottom of the second page" questions. * [[@/{{Korgmeister}} This Troper]] keeps up an elaborate {{Jerkass Facade}} as a screening mechanism against people who have very little insight. Those who aren't very observant will go "That guy's a {{Jerkass}}" whereas others will notice I very quietly do things that are apparently entirely out of character (and eventually figure out that's actually my real character). As a result, I have intelligent and insightful friends. It does help that I make friends really easily (How do I do that with a {{Jerkass Facade}}? Simple: {{Rule Of Funny}}) ** Are you the best friend of the contributor a few entries back? Acting like a {{Jerkass}} in the belief that anything is justified if it serves your ultimate ends is called ''being'' a {{Jerkass}}. ** "Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down." ** Ah, but "He who fights monsters should take care, lest he himself become a monster", so if you become a jerkass to fight other jerkasses to stop annoying you, [[{{Metaphorgotten}} you should pretend to be a wall unless they tear you down, in which case either they or you are the monsters]]. And then John was a zombie.

*** A jerkass zombie. ** Or, as Vonnegut put it, "we must be careful what we pretend to be, for we are what we pretend to be." * This Troper had a friend who had a particularly mischievous biology teacher. This teacher had apparently given out a seemingly regular exam paper to the class; the catch was the fine print in the corner, instructing the reader to take that paper back and get the real one from the teacher. Unfortunately, the instructions were so tiny one would have needed a magnifying glass to make anything out of it. The abovementioned friend got lucky though, as he noticed a classmate (one who had figured it out anyway) was returning the paper, and just followed her example. * This troper has played a game called The Game of Common Courtesy in which players sit in a circle and pass around a lighter saying "In this lighter I see... This is The Game of Common Courtesy" and then passing it to the next person. A player is only "right" if they say "Thank you" when they receive the lighter. * This troper knows a man who loves to organize large games of "Simon Says." Naturally, he begins by instructing everyone to line up so they can get started. Anyone who does so is immediately disqualified; "Simon" didn't say to line up. ** Does he actually say "get started" or some variation? Because if he does then he's admitting the game hasn't begun yet so no one has to wait for Simon to say. * This troper, in elementary school, had to take tests to be qualified for a gifted/talented class. One of the tests was a maze with the instructions simply saying "draw a line from start to finish". I drew a straight line from the start to the end, not bothering to follow the maze. It worked. ** @/{{Griffin}} saw one of those before, but when she told her mom the answer, she got scolded for not doing it the right way. (There was no way to get through the maze normally.) * Subversion: Several years ago I was taught English, History and Geography by what basically amounted to a thirty-year-old [[ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee Crosshaw]] with a teaching degree. One double-period, we all entered the classroom and he failed to turn up. We waited five minutes, he still wasn't there. We waited for ten minutes, he still wasn't there. The ''entire class'' proceeded to ''diligently do our work'', because we suspected he was the kind of guy to pull this on us as a test. As it turned out, he was in his office down the hallway and had forgotten he had us at all. ** There's an UrbanLegend where a professor leaves his hat on his desk after he arrives early to his class, and then heads to the bathroom; on his way back he gets into a long conversation with a colleague. His students skip the class after he fails to return in an amount of time specified by the college handbook. The next day, he tells the students that since he left his hat on his desk, signifying he'd return, they're all getting marked down for absence. The day after that, the professor arrives to find the classroom empty... but every desk has a hat on it. * This Troper's school has a "peer support" program to help ease new year sevens into the school. This year they held a huge scavenger

hunt/race thing, and one of the clues featured a ridiculously long list of odd instructions. Fortunately, this troper is very GenreSavvy, and noticed the last instruction saying "Do NOT follow the previous instructions, they will only waste time", instead doing the real (and ridiculously simple) task: writing everyone's names and birthdates on the sheet and handing it in. While all the other groups were seen piggybacking each other and dancing around in circles and whatnot. * This troper had a much-loathed 8th grade social studies teacher (a complete perv with a Lolicon for his students) pull a half-assed version of this -- if I remember correctly he said to read the directions first and you got graded down if you had put the date on the paper. Never mind that this was the same teacher who would rip your head off (while staring down your shirt, of course) if you turned in your paper without a date on it, so by this point most of us were conditioned to write their name and the date before anything else, including reading the directions. he was a major JerkAss, though, so what could you expect. * This troper will just pore over in detail the elements of a fishysounding test or scenario, to avoid failing these. * This troper was subject to some ''glaringly'' obvious ones when he had to do some psychology tests as part of a class he was taking. ''All'' of the tests began as a set up like, "See how groups work together in building a Lego Battlebot," then it became obvious it was testing something else. For example, in one, "testing" how people can work together over the computer, it became obvious that the other "teammates" were fake when A. everybody "typed" perfectly and instantly, and B. one in particular went through instant Main/CharacterDerailment. One sentence was normal, like, "Well, I can't wait to get started," while the ''very next line'' was to the effect of "Are there any women in this group? Women are lazy and stupid!" Apparently the real test was in how we responded to bigotry, but it lost all effectiveness with how hamfisted it was. * In a psychology class, this troper's teacher had everyone get into groups of two. She told us to grab one another's arms and choose a person to go first. I was chosen in my group. She then told the first person to pinch the second person until she said stop. Despite the guy whispering he wouldn't mind, I simply continued holding onto his arms. When it was his turn, he didn't pinch me either because I didn't do it to him, or because I was a girl. When the experiment was over, the teacher had the class talk about how the experiment made us feel. Then, she asked why I didn't follow the instructions. I told her I had moral objections to causing pain. I was declared to be on a higher moral level than my classmates. Since I already had a reputation as a sheltered, goody-goody this didn't surprise anyone or send them into an outrage. To be fair, she also asked my partner why he didn't, but he gave a vague answer that basically implied if he had a different partner, he would have. * This troper heard about an almost impossible enginnery test, but it was designed to be, well, like that: The real test was "who invents the best gadget to cheat?"...Probably one of the best exams (and best teachers) I've ever heard of. * Another in the "make sure the students read the instructions" vein,

this troper's geometry teacher would always have the directions include, "and initial the box for a point."One classmate who always forgot to do this eventually became GenreSavvy and checked the box without even bothering to read the instructions...the one time they read, "and do not initial the box for a point." * Our class had a watered down version of this. Basically before the teacher gave us the assignment he told us each group would only get to ask ONE question about the assignment. We happily did our work until we came to a question asking us to trace a circle. (this is middle school 7th grade mind you) When there was nothing to trace with. So naturally I went up to him and said "I don't know if this counts as my one question, but we need circles to use tracing in betwee-." Before I could finish he said, "That was the question you were supposed to ask!" He then handed me the materials and me plus the rest of my group got to watch everybody else go up to ask for the materials. He turned away EVERYBODY in the classroom because none of them could answer this simple question. "well why do you need them!?" Needless to say, our group got a good laugh out of taunting kids who begged us to tell them why it was required to complete the assignment. To which we would respond "Go bugger off and read the paper more closely, were working!" Not a single one got the packet except for us. I assume the test was about how perceptive the students were.....apparently not very. * [[{{Neep}} I]] was in a simulated-society game for a psych class once. Since we had been studying compliance experiments (like the Milgram and Ashford ones mentioned in the main article), I was convinced for most of the duration that it was a test on following inane and seemingly arbitrary rules. Unfortunately, it wasn't. * This Troper and a friend of hers are both convinced that everything their psychology teacher asks them to do is, in fact, a test/observation/etc. The teacher administered the Keirsey personality test to her classes at the beginning of the term and proceeded to make neat lists of everyone's results. This troper finds the class easy to the point of boredom, so she tends to write during class. The teacher found out about the troper's participation in Nanowrimo; said troper doesn't want to think what conclusions the teacher has now drawn about her mental health. * This Troper had these in the second, fourth, and eighth grades. In the fourth grade, it was the standard "read all the directions first/the last direction is don't do anything". In the second, it was rather stupider that he was the only one that passed, as the first direction was "don't do anything." In the eighth, he was told to write a paper about what he did during his Summer Vacation. This Troper wrote a detailed argument paper on why he shouldn't have his privacy infringed upon in such a way and got the only A in the class. * This Troper is a member of an organization where the induction ceremony includes a secret test of character. The Troper passed the test, but was so pissed off by the deception that he had nothing to do with the organization afterwards. You could say that the organization failed the Troper's (unintentional) secret test of character. (Note to anyone planning a secret test of character: this is a real danger which is usually conveniently overlooked in the fictional examples: if honesty is one of your subject's values, he may want nothing to do

with you after passing your secret test of character.) * This troper's father is a psychologist. He says that the quickest way to end a conversation is to admit this since people will automatically decide that you are examining their every word and making diagnosis about their mental health. IOW people think that every conversation a psychologist has is a SecretTestOfCharacter. ** This troper once rejected a potential psychologist on the grounds that every conversation with her was ''not'' a secret test of character. * This troper was party to a disaster training scenario involving a simulated plane crash, with a large pool of jet fuel underneath the wreckage that was in imminent danger of catching fire. The actual test wasn't to train the local firefighters to do a rescue, it was to see if they'd make the decision to put aside their previous training and get as many victims out as fast as they could, even though that meant not dealing with the most serious injuries until last and, essentially, condemning some to death. * This troper's algebra teacher gave a test that tested the student's ability to read instructions after two weeks of obnoxious behavior on the part of the class. He stressed that the class was to follow the directions ''exactly'' before passing out the tests. The direction was something like, "Write your name on the line, put your pencil down, and sit quietly until I tell you otherwise." This troper passed. [[HilarityEnsues Most of the class didn't.]] Other students ended up quacking like ducks or standing up and turning around three times before they finally read the directions at the top of the page. * In this tropers Chem class, for the midterm we were told to read the instructions, because following instructions is a very important part of mixing chemicals. The instructions start out repetitive by saying what you can or can't ask for help in, and so on. Somewhere in the middle it says to leave 5 questions blank since they should be questions we shouldn't be able to answer. Attempting to answer those questions would be a waste of time and prevent anyone from getting a perfect score. One person did end up getting all five of those questions right and showed the pages of worked required, but only got two points for his effort. ** Never TakeAThirdOption? Or never try to exceed expectations? This one seems to be a BrokenAesop test. *** Both of those seem to be perfectly viable Aesop's for school, taking a third option is heavily looked down on in most classes, this troper was in one where we had to implement a system and had two possibly ways listed to do it, an easy but inefficient system and a much harder more efficient system (worth extra credit). There was, however, a third option the teacher didn't think about which was as easy as the first system and just as efficient as the second (as it did essentially the same thing, only without the difficulties). The third option (which a number of people found and used) was given no more points than the inefficient one. *** So the Aesop is Teachers Are Jackasses? *** No, it's "Teachers of practical skills care more about following the prescribed rules than actually producing the best, most efficient results."

*** This is what most of applied science strives to do and is about. Maximize the output with minimum input. To an extent, as circumstances dictate. *** So, the Aesop is "your teachers suck". * This troper's Chemistry teacher described a lab that he had run in previous years (and, time allowing, would run this year) which, if done right, produced a beautiful purple solution, but missing one ingredient near the beginning of the procedure would result in a disgusting looking mixture. Needless to say, it wasn't difficult to spot the unwary. * This troper's economics teacher, on the first day of school, handed out the typical syllabus that needed to be signed and returned. Everybody signed the paper, but when we went to turn them in, the teacher told us to look down near the bottom of the page, where one of the things we had all agreed to was to give the teacher 10% of all our future income. This was the first of many secret tests. * This troper is annoyed to endless degrees by various forums and software programs that do this to an insane degree, such as having you click a period somewhere in the middle of the EULA to agree. * Kind of the point of military promotion boards. Sure, you know that you, a junior enlisted soldier, will be sitting in front of a group of senior noncommissioned officers (which may or may not include a {{Drill Sergeant Nasty}} or two) and answer a series of questions on general military knowledge. What you don't know is exactly what criteria you'll be graded on, or whether the panel will be throwing some off-the-wall questions or situations at you, or if you'll be seated under a dripping air conditioner vent to see how you'll react. * I once put in a job application at ACS and was asked to take an interview only three days later. Afterwards, they told me to come back in 90 days for a second interview. I kept looking for jobs until the 90 day mark. When I returned to ACS, the first thing they asked was if I had gotten a job somewhere since the first interview. I told them that, yes, I got one at [=McDonald's=]. They revealed that the point behind the 90 day wait was to see if I just wanted to get a job or if I was hanging onto some vague chance of getting the job at ACS. I got the job. * This Troper has heard of an ethics exam, in which the people being tested had to go one by one to an exam room, along the route were situations where people needed help, and the test was, would they help others, even though they had an exam to get too. * This Troper's martial arts sifu, when he was little, spent an hour every morning for four months, knocking on the door of an apparently closed Kung Fu dojo. Finally, a man opened the door and told him, "I'm sorry, but you cannot train here. Go home." Three months' more knocking and refusal went by. Then, the man who answered the door, instead of telling him to go home, beat the stuffing out of him. Three more months of this went by, before sifu was finally able to enter. There were fewer than a dozen students in the meditation chamber, all sitting in the horse stance. Sifu was told that he could not train there until he could sit in the horse stance for 45 minutes straight. I learned a lot from this man. * Non-academic example: This troper's family has a particular cookie

recipe that's not horrendously difficult, but takes patience and a willingness to think outside the box. Anyone who wants to marry into the family has to attempt the recipe - with help from their fiance's relatives, of course. Those who fail the test - especially those who get married anyway, without the family's blessing - tend to be unlikable at best and abusive at worst. Those who pass, while they may still be flawed, invariably end up beloved by the rest of the family. To give examples, my father (who passed) is his mother-in-law's "favorite child". My ex-uncle (who failed) was emotionally and financially abusive to my aunt and her children for over twenty years, and she and the children have separated from him. No one outside the family is allowed to see the recipe except for the test, and copies are only passed down from parent to child. (It's also used as a rite of passage for teenagers - this troper made her first solo batch at the age of sixteen, and they were perfect :)) Yes, my family is cultish and weird. We know. * This troper took part in an academic study when young. The subjects were told would we would be a 'baseline' for general knowledge among the populace, as part of a larger study. We were told total time would be under two hours; one hour to take a 100-question test, and another hour for evaluation of the results and payout; 10 cents per correct answer (The reason given was 'to ensure an honest effort'). We finished our tests, and waited. And waited. Long after the 2nd hour was up, many of us just wanted to leave, but we were strongly discouraged from doing so, and told that would invalidate the whole study (should've been a tip). Finally, after about 2 hours of waiting, they handed back the tests, and the payout. But that wasn't all - they wanted to go through the answers, to make sure everyone was graded properly! Another hour of going one by one through the questions. Finally, they asked if everyone was satisfied and ready to leave. Why yes, we were. At that point, the reveal - it hadn't been a baseline after all, but a psychological test. Everyone had had between 1 and 5 questions marked as correct that were actually incorrect. The test was whether anyone was moral enough to stand up in front of everyone, and try to give back the extra couple dimes. The testers seemed saddened at the general moral decay of society that their study had proven not one person had wanted to do so. Never mind that most just wanted to escape at that point, having other commitments that the faroverrunning study was trampling on. Or that the grading had actually been sloppy in both directions and several people had been shortchanged instead of overpaid. Or that they were so eager to reveal what horrible people we were that they never considered that we may prefer to come up quietly afterward to settle up. Nope - all about us being unscrupulous and greedy. ** [[DarthWiki/DethroningMomentOfSuck I think I just thew up in my mouth]]. What a bunch of hypocrites. * I'm in very disorganized med school (the schedules are wrong, sometimes we don't have class for any lame reason and the first week the only subject we had was anatomy), and one of my friends started to say all that was because of this trope ("think about it, the doctor has to be always expecting a turn of events in a surgery..."). This troper, however, believes the whole campus is being that disorganized

due to lack of money but if he's happy thinking that... * When this troper was being taught to be a coxswain (the person who steers and co-ordinates a boat of rowers), he was told in no uncertain terms by the man teaching him to stick rigidly to the rules of the river. Before long, he had to break some on account of unpredictable events. He was promptly given a pint for doing it in a safe and competent way. Apparently, had he done it messily or unsafely he'd have got a ding round the ear. Now that he's the one training new coxes, he does the same. It's costing him a lot. * [[AuntZelda This troper]] has to fetch carts from a parking lot. Unless a customer with a cart is elderly or obviously in need (i.e. has crutches or fifteen children), she won't offer to bring their cart to the coral. If, however, a customer begins to wheel the cart to the coral, she will gladly offer to take it for them. She's also fond of not getting a cart abandoned near the doorway and likes to count how many minutes and customers pass it by before someone takes it and restores her faith in humanity. (If it's an obvious fire hazard she'll take it.) * Simpler verson; one time, [[Tropers/DeathToSquishies this troper's]] Modern Lit. teacher gave the class a test with very difficult questions that barely related to Literature as it was, with obscure details and questions of people's mass opinions. Turns out, he was solely testing two things: 1) if we bothered to actually attempt answering the questions at all, and 2) if people peeked at each other's papers. * This troper's headmaster once announced that he had left 10 and 20 notes around the school as a test of honesty, and that students returning them could expect house points - a pat on the head, in other words. What he didn't say is that they would also be given ''double'' the amount returned, i.e. 20 or 40. Any student who resigned themselves to doing the 'right thing' walked away twice as well off than if they hadn't. * This male troper was once asked: ** Freind: Are you a lesbian? ** Me: Yes ** Freind: You pass. * My English class in high school were once given one of these, to test our analytical and observational skills. We were split into groups and given a sheet of paper detailing the dangers of a certain chemical, and the outrage that this chemical was till being used despite how many deaths and other destructions were caused by it. We were given the task of writing up a debate answer as to why this chemical should be banned. I was the only one to point out to their group that this task was ridiculous for one big reason: The chemical was Dihydrogen Monoxide...aka, water. The use of it's scientific name had thrown everyone off, meaning that everyone had been arguing as to ''why we should ban water''. For once in my life, my team actually listened to me and were happy that I was on their team. The exercise then lost the point and my epic win was degraded when my team started warning all their friends on the other teams not to write anything, and I wasn't given the credit for telling them this...

---Go back to SecretTestOfCharacter. Or not. It's your choice. [[color:#f2f0be:If you highlighted this instead, you pass.]] ----

SecurityCling * Just the plain old clinging to you because they're scared? I've had plenty of girls do it to me- sisters, cousins, girlfriends, justfriends, my mother, even ex-girlfriends who afterward make it clear that there was no subtext, they were really frightened). ** If you only mean the whole cartoonish jumping into someones arms bridal style like Scooby Do and Shaggy, I have had it happen once- and it wasn't invoked. My friend has a deathly fear of spiders, and she thought she saw one on the floor while cleaning her room- she literally leaped into my arms- I just barely managed not to drop her. Not as MoeMoe as it sounds since she was squirming around, strangling me, and screaming in my ear for me not to drop her. Her mother got a kick out of it though. * I have done this before. On one such occasion I was on vacation with family and we had taken a boat out to a sand bar in the ocean where we could feed sting rays. I held out some squid and the sting rays smelled it and in no time at all they swim towards you. Needless to say, it was a bit intimidating seeing all those sting rays come towards you that fast, and all that once, in such a huge swarm. So, I jumped out of fright into the arms of the closest person behind me, one of the scuba instructors. * This reaction is the primary reason that ThisTroper's college dorm always has group dates at the local haunted corn maze. On at least one occasion, one of the ''guys'' latched on to me in addition to the girl I was with. * This troper, a guy friend, and two other girls were wandering through an amusement park after dark around Halloween. They came to a "haunted" section. People in scary clown suits jumping out of shadows with fake chainsaws, zombies, and the like were in abundance. Troper didn't care, though one of the other girls had at this point latched onto the guy's arm. Then the smoke generators kicked in. Troper has very good vision in light and dark, and because of this has a phobia of being unable to see. Soon there was enough smoke that troper could only see about five feet in front of her. "Sorry, I'm gonna hold onto your shoulders cos OH GOSH I CAN'T FRICKIN SEE..." After the smoke cleared, she let go, and ended up with the other girl stuck to her arm when another evil clown appeared. * It's not so much a "Security Cling" as a "Wow You're Really Warm And I'm Really Fricking Cold Cling", but it does happen to [[{{Ryumaru}} me.]] It's a pity that the girl who does it is a lesbian... dammit, why...? T_T * This troper saw a girl not only jump into another's lap but practically ''climb up her''. Horror stories told by double agents + pranks that tie in = instant hilarity. * It happened to a girl who clung to [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] ''as hard as she could'' after a massive party was suddenly disrupted by a really

brutal brawl. * This troper has often huddled with her friends when it's cold. It's a good excuse to cuddle with your crush when your ex-boyfriend is watching. * [[Tropers/TheTallOne This]] Troper has done this once. In the fourth grade, my class went on a trip to a tornado simulator. I was one of two LargeHam types in the class, and the other ham was my crush at the time. At one point, we both randomly turned and just started clinging to each other. It was rather sweet, as I recall. * This troper does this to her best friend whenever this creepy kid comes out of ''freaking nowhere''. * I once pointed out a turtle to my younger sister as we were walking through a field. She yelped and hurriedly grabbed my arm. The weird thing is that we're kind of a TomboyAndGirlyGirl, and she's the tomboy. * Tropers/RainbowPoof had a friend who would tightly grab her any time anything remotely scary happened in a horror movie. It was actually a little painful, because she had long nails and apparently didn't know her own strength.. Needless to say, this troper quickly learned she should sit on the opposite side of the room, with something between her and her friend. * This troper was at the Renaissance faire with a group from her church. Upon leaving the joust field, she noticed that the thick crowd was possibly going to cause them to be separated, so she called out for everyone in her group to "grab onto someone!" Cue a SecurityCling onto the troper -- by a fifteen-year-old boy. * This troper once played with this trope while watching a SoBadItsHorrible horror movie in a theater. During what was [[{{Narm}} supposed to be the climax of a scary scene]], she screamed loudly and tumbled over into the lap of her friend sitting next to her. Said friend was not amused. * This troper recently went to a haunted house with several classmates. Over the course of the haunted house, this troper's two companions basically shoved her to the front of the group and clung to her arms the whole way shrieking. This troper spent the whole time predicting what was going to jump out and be scary, and attenpting to stop her companions from yelling in her ears. * This (mostly) Tsundere troper managed to astonish her boyfriend during a power cut at school by leaping into his arms when the lights went out. In my defence, the classroom had no windows and I'd just seen the Vashta Nerada episode of Series/DoctorWho. * This troper's step-son is now an adult and is terrified of spiders. The exact event that caused this was followed by a Security Cling. One day, when he was 5 years old, we put one of those spider toys with the little hose and air-squeeze-bladder on a table, with the hose concealed. The spider had cartoon eyes and rubber legs. We told him something like 'hey, what's that over there?' while pointing at the table. We waited until he got real close, only a few inches away, staring directly in the spider's face, then squeezed the air-bladder thing and made the spider jump. He leapt, instantly, up into the air, onto his step-grandmother's lap, holding on for dear life. He does not remember this and he definitely knows the jumping spider toy is a toy,

but he still won't touch them. * [[{{Tropers/Morgie}} This troper]]'s best online friend recently left the website that they met on, but still is admin on [[http://lgbtqsupport.proboards.com/ her own forum]]. This was how our PM conversation there after she left started. * I had a guy do this to me once. I'm not actually sure why he did it I was trying to pay attention to our teacher as she coached us through the dance but then BAM! all of a sudden my best friend's in my arms and I'm not sure why he's there but he is. Fortunately I'm amazon enough at 17 to hold up an average sized 18 year old. Had I not well...He would've been on the floor. * When I see a spider and my sister is around, I usually end up squeaking and hanging on to her arm. * This unwise troper was watching {{Marble Hornets}} at night, so while watching a certain entry and [[SlenderManMythos the star of the series]] [[JumpScare appears]] she grabbed on to her sister's arm for dear life. * This Troper, who was watching her friend play FatalFrame, was so scared that she clung to his sleeve and buried her face against his arm. Nevermind the fact that he was already taken. ---Could you let go of my arm? Just long enough to let me click on the link for SecurityCling? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SedgwickSpeech * "I'll believe that when I hear it"- [[SilentHunter this troper]] during a game of ''{{Harpoon}}'' refusing to believe his opponent's statement that there are weapons inbound on his ''Swiftsure'' class submarine. As soon as he hits enter on the chat, his sub is sunk by [[MnogoNukes a Soviet "Starfish" nuclear torpedo]]. * This Troper was giving a rousing speech to his squad during a game of paintball, complete with walking on a log. As he was wrapping up he was immediately shot by a hidden enemy, declaring, "You're making it too easy for us!" * [[{{Eisenblume}} "Please. I'm a sniper, I know how to hide. They cannot see me.]] --> '''Thud!''' --> ''"No, but we can bloody well hear you!"'' Ah, good LARP memories. * This Troper was once outside with a friend who was violently allergic to bees when a bee came flying by. He calmly stood there and explained to his friend, "Just stand still and be calm, bees aren't going to-- OH MY GOD IT JUST FLEW INTO MY MOUTH AND STUNG MY TONGUE!" ---WE SHALL GO BACK TO [[SedgwickSpeech SEDGWICK SPEECH]] AND NOBODY SHALL STOP U*BLAM!* ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SeinfeldianConversation * Can [[Tropers/LuckyMcDowell This Troper]] say that we pretty much all talk like this? Like, every day? * This troper had a twenty minute conversation about whether or not the streetlights on one particular street were hanging low to the point of being a safety hazard, and whether or not they were abnormally low or if they'd always been that low and if no one had noticed them, and which local government agency sets the standards for streetlight height. This conversation also included a {{LampshadeHanging}} by this troper's friend. * [[{{Tropers/Tai112}} This Troper]] participated in a conversation literally minutes ago about a person keeping track of how much fast food they eat a day. His teacher walked into the class in the middle, as well. * This troper, her best friend, and her mother once had an extremely long and protracted conversation about the merits of ugly towels in dorms. And the making of said towels. At the end of it, she couldn't help but wonder: "Why are we TALKING about this?" ** ...So what ''are'' the merits? Are they less likely to be stolen or "borrowed"? *** Yes. In fact, this troper had serious problems with that, and the offending suitemates had even "kidnapped" her favorite towel, which was technically a beach towel and had a giant checkerboard on it. She still has the foam checkers. **** ...That towel was MadeOfWin. * [[{{Tropers/Pirka}} This troper]] and [[{{Tropers/Nyktos}} another troper]] recently had a conversation over dinner about how you get 'in' certain vehicles, like a car, a truck or a tank, but you get 'on' others, like a bus, train or plane. This extended into how it sounded incorrect to swap those two - 'I'm getting in the train', 'I'm getting on the car' - which then led to how technically you aren't 'on' any of these vehicles (i.e., you don't ride on top of a plane, you are obviously inside the plane). ''Then'', since the reason these tropers met up in the first place was to watch GurrenLagann, the conversation mutated into whether you get 'on' or 'in' a HumongousMecha. It was left unsolved that day, but when this Troper mentioned the topic to her father in the car it began the SeinfeldianConversation anew, this time with the conclusion that any vehicle you board standing up (you walk to your seat to get into a plane, a train or a bus) you get 'on', but any vehicle where you are automatically in place as soon as you board (you get into a car, truck or tank without needing to walk to your seat) you get 'in'. The verdict was that it depends on the type of mecha, but in most situations, you get 'in' a HumongousMecha. The entire conversation was MadeofWin. ** This troper has always heard the distinction being whether or not it requires a professional driver. Planes, Trains, Buses and things like that are all driven by 'Drivers', while Cars are driven by random people. ** I imagine it has something to do with the communal nature of the vehicle, you rarely get into a car with someone you don't know but if

you're on a plane or a bus there is almost always a stranger riding with you. *** No, you get ''in'' taxis -- I think the standing criterion is closer. That said, you also get ''in'' vans and APCs, so... * Same troper and same friend had a conversation just recently about whether or not a brownie with frosting on it is a piece of cake. This dissolved into a discussion about the taxonomic classifications of cakes, brownies, and cookies. We determined that brownies and cakes can mate, but they can't produce viable offspring. ** The difference between a cake and a biscuit (or cookie, to Americans) is that when a cake goes stale, it goes hard. When a biscuit/cookie goes stale, it goes soft. This is true, as reported on ''{{QI}}''. *** This troper calls shenanigans on that. While cake definitely goes hard, he's never heard of a cookie that goes ''soft'' when it gets stale. Of course he's also never heard anyone call a biscuit a cookie, since they're not even remotely similar InAmerica. ** I'd say no. Cake is generally taller and fluffier, while a brownie is just kind of squat and vaguely fudgy. You could, however, make a brownie cake. * [[Tropers/TromboneChild This troper]] and her mother had a heated argument recently about whether Gotham City is the fictional equivalent of New York or Chicago. This troper claimed it was Chicago because of ''Batman Begins/The Dark Knight'' and because the ''Superman'' movies use New York as Metropolis. Her mother said it was New York because she claimed she'd heard people say things like "I'm going to Gotham" when talking about New York. So the troper's mother told her to Google it, which led nowhere; then said to check Wikipedia, and that didn't work; so they ended up calling this troper's grandfather to ask him. He said Gotham was most certainly New York, no question about it, so this troper had to eat her words. ** For the record, Metropolis is widely believed among comic book geeks to be Los Angeles. ([[{{Tropers/Heatherly}} This troper]] believes it should be Kansas City, since it's apparently in Kansas, but whatever.) Chicago is Star City, Green Arrow's turf. *** What crazy pseudo-world do you live in where Kansas City is in Kansas? **** Heck with that, what crazy pseudo-world do we live in where Kansas City ''isn't'' in Kansas?! **** It's in both Missouri ''and'' Kansas. How the hell do you two people ''not'' know that?! *** Thanks for the info. This troper feels better now. But Metropolis only seems to be located in Kansas in the ''{{Smallville}}'' canon. ** This troper heard an interpretation that he considers quite cool. Basically, Metropolis is New York by day while Gotham is New York by night. ** This troper is pretty sure that Gotham, Metropolis, and New York all have independent existance in the DCU. Also, he's fond of the theory that Gotham is a heavily urbanized LovecraftCountry. ** [[http://www.karridian.net/dcatlas.html DC has an official Atlas. Let's move on, people.]] *** Sheesh. Sorry, we're not really ComicBook readers. And actually,

it was a pretty damn funny argument. All of the theories and the guessing were actually a lot more fun than you handing us the answer. You're CompletelyMissingThePoint of a SeinfeldianConversation. *** And the Atlas isn't really as WordOfGod as one would think it'd be--locations of cities in the DCU tend to move around depending on the era and the writer. The current location of Star City, for example, is somewhere in northern California, and Ivy Town (the Atom's stomping grounds) started out as an {{Expy}} for New Haven, Connecticut but moved to Ithaca, New York in the early 90's. ** Wait, isn't Gotham New York (because, you know, NYC is actually ''called'' Gotham, though that's somewhat gone out of style) while Metropolis is ''Boston''? Wasn't that the parallel intended with the 'Daily ''Planet'' ' and the 'Boston ''Globe'' '? *** They're both New York. * [[Tropers/GwenStacyWannabe This troper]] and her best friend once had a rather long conversation in which the [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} friend]] attempted to explain to her that if a modern-day BeautyAndTheBeast story (the Disney version) were made, Belle would be a biker chick. Now, most people would've just given said friend a funny look and changed the subject, but in the interest of science, I had her elaborate... This happens a lot, though, so I'm used to it. ** Well, let's hear it. Why would Belle be a biker chick? *** Apparently her desire for adventure proves that, were she in the modern world, she would be a biker chick. I'm sorry to say I can't really elaborate much, as the conversation was several years ago and I don't remember most of it. * An overly large proportion of this troper's conversations with his dormmates involves SuperSmashBros or video games in general. We're all nerds, and he suspects that this is endemic to the lifestyle. * In what may be an odd mixture of SeinfeldianConversation and {{Cloudcuckoolander}}, this troper once had the opportunity to discuss, with classmates, the question of "Who would win, a homicidal robot or a suicidal robot?" After first redefining homicide to include robots, of course. (While one would think the scenario is win-win, the conclusion was that it depended on the intentions of the suicidal robot. If it was trying to die by some other method, the homicidal robot wins. Contrariwise, the suicidal robot could have developed an [[BatmanGambit elaborate scheme]] to dupe the homicidal robot into killing it, thus achieving victory.) * This troper and his best freind once had a two hour conversation on whether or not a preying mantis would make an appropriate little brother. ** How well do you get along with your sister-in-law now? * This troper and his friends have had two separate conversations about the order they would die in if they were in a horror movie. For the record, this troper, being the designated nerd and comic relief, dies in the middle. ** This troper had a similar conversation with a friend and is currently attempting to write it as a screenplay. ** All of my conversations with a large group of friends have ended this way, and for the record, we have decided that in any given story, based on Idealism/Cyncism, and even what role I would play:

*** Full cynic story, I live. (Cynic Story = Killer/ {{The Libby}} Wins Because Evil is Better) **** Unless I am a {{Jerk With A Heart Of Gold}}, in which case I save the hero and am forced to watch how my efforts are in vain, causing my [[FaceHeelTurn descent]]. *** 4/5 Cynic, I live. (Bad people face no consequences.) *** 3/5 is where it gets intresting. I either die to redeem myself {{Redemption Equals Death}}, am {{Hoist By His Own Petard}}, die because I am the killer, or save the hero {{Heroic Sacrifice}}. 3 in 4 chance I'm dead. *** 2/5 Equal Chance Life/Death. HOW I die is debated. (Main Villian, {{Jerkass}}, Heroic Sacrifice, {{Death By Genre Savvy}}...) *** 1/5 Screwed if I am the villian. Live anytime else. *** Full Idealistic, Live Regardless. * [[{{Tropers/Heatherly}} This troper]] once, I swear to God, had the following conversation with twelve-year-old sister and ten-year-old brother: --->'''Sister:''' "Did you know smoking can make hairs grow on your tongue?" --->'''Troper:''' "What?" --->'''Sister:''' "Smoking can make you grow hair on your tongue. I read it on the internet." --->'''Troper:''' "No, it can't. You can't trust everything you read on the internet. Anyway, it's the medicine they give you for emphysema, which is a disease you can get from smoking, that makes hairs grow. And that's on your face, not your tongue." --->'''Sister:''' "Emphysema?" --->'''Troper:''' "Yeah. Grandpa Fred has it." --->'''Sister:''' "I thought he was dead." --->'''Troper:''' "No." --->'''Sister:''' "Who gets his stuff when he does die?" --->'''Troper:''' "His wife." --->'''Sister:''' "He has a wife?" --->'''Troper:''' "Yeah. Mom's stepmom, Goldina." --->'''Sister:''' "Goldina?!" --->'''Brother:''' (walking in): "Who's that?" --->'''Troper:''' "Mom's stepmom." --->'''Sister:''' "I can't believe Mom has a stepmom!" --->'''Troper:''' "Mom's had a stepmom for, like, ten years. Where've you been?" --->'''Sister:''' "Well, I didn't know. I thought he just ran off." --->'''Brother:''' "How can a stepmom be a 'he'?" --->'''Troper:''' "Not her, Grandpa." --->'''Brother:''' "Grandpa who?" --->'''Troper:''' "Grandpa Fred." --->'''Brother:''' "Oh. [[DidAKoreanPersonDie Didn't he die]]?" ** But smoking CAN make tiny black hairlike things grow on your tongue, if you have poor oral hygiene. It's more likely to be caused by intravenous needle use, though. * [[{{Nomic}}This troper]] has conversations like this often. Once he was having a serious conversation about the American right to bear arms that eventually ended up mutating into a discussion about the

merits of airplane mounted gatling cannons and wheter or not a battleship armed with a railgun is actually useful, not necessary or just too cool not to be built. * This troper and her friends recently had a conversation discussing the whole "glass half full, glass half empty" idea through a logical and contextual standpoint. They decided that a glass was half full if you poured something in it to the halfway point, and half empty if you took out half of whatever was in it. They were fairly into it (almost to the point of debating) before this troper paused and asked "why are we ''having'' this conversation?" ** This troper has come to the exactly same conclusion. ** This troper has had a similar conversation with her friends. We nearly concluded that a glass can't be just half full (since the other half is full of air), but then one of us decided to place the glass in a vaccuum. We somehow ended up talking about cheese. It was awesome. ** A glass that's half full can't also be half empty; it'd have to be less than half. To be both, the amount of liquid would have to be half of the glass's capacity exactly, to the molecule; and in most cases it wouldn't stay that way, thanks to either evaporation or condensation. ** [[{{Tropers/Hremsfeld}} This Troper]]'s father has [[ six]] glasses about this topic: --> '''Optimist:''' The glass is half full --> '''Pessimist:''' The glass is half empty --> '''Engineer:''' The glass is twice as big as it needs to be --> '''Quantum Physicist:''' The glass has a 50% probability of holding water --> '''Philosopher:''' If no one looks at the glass, who's to say how full or empty it is? --> '''Accountant:''' Does the glass really ''need'' all that water? *** [[FridgeLogic Wouldn't]] the quantum physicist [[SchrodingersCat say the same thing]] as the philosopher did? *** This troper saw shirt with even more on it once, including the awesome '''Nihilist:''' The Glass is Broken. ** This Troper's father writes a Christmas letter every year, and the one from when this troper was about 3 says somewhere: --> '''Dad:''' The glass is half full. --> '''Mom:''' The glass is half empty. --> '''Older brother:''' Hey! Who stole some of my juice! --> '''This troper:''' Lucky! Lucky! Lucky! I've got some juice! *** One of this troper's favorite New Yorker comics ever is a picture of three such glasses, captioned: ---> '''Optimist:''' Half Full ---> '''Pessimist:''' Half Empty ---> '''Optometrist''': Half A Glass Of Water * Averted with me. I often bring up extremly trivial topics, but noone really ever responds, and if they do, I don't ever really respond. * This troper recently had a conversation on a bus that started with how in school suspensions are stupid, shifted to discussing Anarchist Communism, and concluded with the idea that there is no reason for sentient robots to not kill humanity. * When this troper discussed how gerbils can fly and hamsters can't. According to me, gerbils could fly if they use their little tails like

helicopter rudders. Of course, it was also a [[MushroomSamba mushroom samba]] scene because I was on-my-ass high on pain meds after getting surgery on my leg. * [[Tropers/BladedSmoke This troper]] had an hour-long conversation with one of his friends about which plant would win if every type of plant in the world got together for a massive [[BattleRoyaleWithCheese fight.]] We eventually concluded that it would end in a final epic showdown between the Venus fly trap and the oak tree. Unfortunately, this was on a long bus journey for a school trip, and one of our teachers was sitting behind us and listening fascinated to every word. At the end of the trip, everyone got awards, and ours was a joint prize for 'Most bizarre conversation.' ** Why is that unfortunate? That's mildly awesome. * This troper's friend once got a whole class arguing over whether turkeys can fly. * This troper and her younger sister somehow got into an extended conversation on the merits of the "Talking Face" sprites in ''HarvestMoon [[DistaffCounterpart DS Cute]].'' We couldn't decide which was scarier: Cody's [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/cody_m9.png REALLYREALLYMAD!]] face or Gotz's [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/gotz_p9.png REALLYREALLYHAPPY!]] face. Vesta, we decided, was just over-all freaky. But we both agreed that Carter had the best expressions overall--his [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_p500.png happy face]] is quite pleasantly cheerful, but his [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_m5000.png EPIC FACEPALM]] is completely hilarious, his hair get [[ExpressiveHair really expressive]] when he's [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_m800.png mad]], and his [[http://www.fogu.com/hm6/img/chan3/villagers/carter_m500.png mildly depressed]] face is so utterly pathetic that it just makes you want to [[TheWoobie pat him on the head and bring him milk and cookies.]] * This troper has Seinfeldian thoughts. During the first Obama / [=McCain=] debate, he was distracted by how the thin stripes on [=McCain=]'s tie were so close together the camera made them wiggly. That segued into a half-hour thought train on the evolution of neckties. It turns out their ancestry goes something like this: ** Animal skin tied around neck ** Cape/cloak ** Scarf ** Ascot ** Tie ** Please note, some links in the evolutionary chain may have been overlooked. *** Sorry to say this, but ties were invented to hide buttons on buttoned up shirts because they were supposed to be considered embarasing. * This troper had a really long talk about what would happen if the nazis could find their way to Narnia...

* This troper gets into Seinfeldian conversations often, but most notably, he and his family were discussing the merits of ice cream and the naming of furniture stores, when he noticed that they were having a Seinfeldian conversation. His younger sister said "Then I'm Kramer." His parents quickly claimed Jerry and Elaine, to which he responded "George is getting upset!" * This troper's ethics class has experienced considerable ScheduleSlip due to drifting from our usual SeriousBusiness philosophical discourse into convoluted discussions of semi-relevant issues like the morality of eating chocolate(does it matter if the chocolate is somehow nutritious? or what its cocoa content is?) and when it could be acceptable to bomb an actual tree (a StealthPun derived from the question of bombing an enemy nation's nuclear power plant which for some reason was inhabited by little children). * This troper had an argument with her sister concerning the St. Ives riddle. I don't quite remember how it started, or very much at all. I do, however, remember trying to figure out how the man would be going to St. Ives after my sister asked what would happen if the path was surrounded by lava. At one point, I think I also proposed killing the other man, his wives, the cats, and the kittens, which then led to her mentioning zombies or necromancy. * [[Tropers/PG556 This troper]] outright loves conversations that go for an hour, and end up having nothing to do with the original topic. It's always amusing when someone starts talking about, say, the economy, and through the evolution of the discussion, end up arguing over which is better- Warhammer Fantasy or Warhammer 40K? (NB- not an actual conversation I've had, I honestly can't remember them since they are so random) * A sadly lost video clip showed [[Main.AnthonyMercer this troper]] and his friends starting a conversation with one of them pretending to spray another with furniture polish - which, obviously, led to us talking about exactly how leprechauns talk... * This troper does this on a regular basis- almost all the time in fact. * [[Tropers/ZanderSchubert This troper's]] history tutorials sometimes delve into this. Our group was discussing the Holocaust, when someone mentioned the horrific film footage they took of it. It then became a conversation about why videos of YouTube have to be split up, and ended with the statement "Everything I learnt about evolution, I learnt from Pokemon." At that point, the tutor wanted our groups to get back together so we could get back on topic... * In addition to the heated "Gotham City: New York vs. Chicago" argument somewhere above, [[Tropers/TromboneChild this troper]] and her mother had recent conversation in which they labelled each character from ''WinnieThePooh'' with a psychological disorder: Pooh has Asperger's Syndrome, Piglet and Rabbit have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Owl has a narcissistic personality disorder, Tigger has a serious case of ADHD, and [[TheEeyore Eeyore]] is a major-depressive. * [[{{Tropers/Max}} This troper]] and his friend once had a half-hour conversation describing how best to survive a ZombieApocalypse. ThisTroper put forth the idea that, since most Wal-Marts are located next door to Home Depots, a Wal-Mart would be easily defendable, with

a bit of work. He then proceeded to write a long, long list on all of the steps that should be taken. ** This troper is convinced that if you had enough people to properly secure the garage doors, a Costco would be the absolute perfect place to survive an infestation. And I can argue it endlessly. * This Troper spent a whole period (50 min) talking about if a man had sex with a female horse, would a centaur be born? (Seriously, can someone answer this for me?) ** No. Very no. ** [[{{YouFailBiologyForever}} Genetics does not work like that]] ** But...doesn't [[GenderEqualsBreed gender equal breed?]] *** It doesn't explain why you'd ''want'' to bang a horse, though... **** [[{{Rule36}} Actually...]] * This troper and his best friend once had a VERY long conversation. Eventually we reached the "how did we get to this topic" question and went backwards through the daisychain of barely-related topics to figure out what started the whole thing. Surprising to say the least. * [[Tropers/MrGuy This Troper]] has these ''constantly.'' Often, the result is an acknowledgement of the Seinfeldianess of the conversation. * This troper, at a [=McDonald's=] in New Jersey about 15 years ago, re-enacted a scene from Seinfeld with the [=McWorker=] playing the [[ButtMonkey patsy]] unwittingly to a T. I ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and a medium fries. The patsy said "We have small, large, and super size" and I said "Wouldn't the large be medium and the super size be large?" and the [=McDrone=] repeated "We have small, large, and super size, sir." I said "fine, give me a large order of fries. But I'm going to call it a medium." * This troper and his brother have frequent conversations that fit this trope to a T. One of the more noteworthy examples started with how plants evolved to bear fruit (watching a documentary) and ended with whether or not Pineapples evolved to include animal digestion in their life cycle. On one hand, they don't rot in a way that promotes plant growth like more thin-skinned fruits. On the other, they have spikes growing out of their skin. Needless to say, "what were we just talking about?" is a very common phrase among us. * After this troper and her friends were interrupted at lunch by a nosy Assistant Principal, no one at the table could remember the topic of the previous conversation. Thus, we spent the rest of the period talking about figuring out what we'd been talking about in the first place - which eventually culminated in listing off random words that popped into our heads. Considering the topic we finally came up with was Viagra, it probably wasn't a very important conversation in the first place. * [[{{Tropers/Nettik}} This troper]] can't seem to remember the last time she DIDN'T have a SeinfeldianConversation. Some of the more recent ones that come to mind are "Why do the cologne commercials all feature gay guys?", "If you separated out males and females, would everyone turn gay?" and... there are some non-gay ones in there too. Really. * All of [[{{Tropers/Skazka}} this troper's]] conversations go like this. One conversation, in five minutes, encompassed [[TearJerker

dwarves at Auschwitz]] and then slingshot around to whether [[EverythingSoundsSexierInFrench "tuberculsen fingerwurm"]] means what it sounds like, and then to this troper's desire for a silver triquetra to wear, then what the heck a Luther rose is, then to why Elisabeth of Bavaria was called Sisi... and the rest of the conversation was just too weird to describe. ** Other conversations tend to swing back around to subjects like [[EvilIsSexy why some convicted criminals are so very sexy]] and [[DidNotDoTheResearch a nursing home in my neighborhood called the "Elysian Fields Rest Home".]] * This Troper and his friends have held long arguments in the halls at school over such topics as "yes" vs. "no" or "Are we arguing or not?" ** This Troper has fake arguments with one of his friends all the time. We have acknowledged that they are fake, but we rarely do it because it's simply funnier to pretend as if the arguments are real. Usually they culminate in giggle fits when one of us calls the other one fat, ugly, or gay. It's... more mature than it sounds, really! * Just today, this troper and a friend had a ten-minute debate about the logistics of using ducks as housing materials. They'd be ''great'' for waterproofing. * This Troper and his friend went on a long and detailed discussion on which would be worse: a zombie outbreak, or a robot revolution? Having saved this conversation, this Troper has thought off and on about making a video where the debate is played straight. * This troper's lunch peroid is completely made of this- so much that we now refer to the cafeteria as 'the diner'. * This Troper has these with her friends or by herself, once walking up to a friend and saying, "If you remind me, I'll tell you after class how I got from sending myself an e-mail with an essay in English to singing 'My boots are better than your boots! My boots are better than yours! My boots are better because they aren't squeaking! My boots are better than yours!'". This troper's friend was intrigued and was treated to an explanation involving forgotten book reviews and trips to the craft store.\ ** ...Do tell? * At my old-school, me and my friends did this ''all...the...time''. It's like all our conversations were Seinfeldian. * This Troper seems to be a Seinfeldian ''Magnet''. A mention to a freind of hers about how many [[LesYay lesbians]] there are in the webcomics she reads turned into a deep discussion about homophobia and transphobia, which turned into how odd [[FootFocus foot fetishes]] are. yeah. And stuff like this happens on an almost daily basis. * Whenever someone loses their train of thought, this troper muses as to its current whereabouts. I'm under the impression the trains can only travel along tracks, meaning its pretty hard to lose them unless they get derailed. Come to think of it, what kind of stations do trains of thought travel between? It would seem that your brain has to be the station it started at, but its destination has always been a bit fuzzy. Now, if we had two-way telepathy, the analogy might be a little less confusing; we have a station the train starts at, and a station the train arrives at, but I'm still not sure how you'd lose it...

** This Troper has managed to think up an explanation: going with the train analogy, the "train of thought" is an idea, but in the abstract sense. Discussing and expanding on the idea is the equivalent of having passengers board/depart, while the rails are stuff like talking, IM-ing, etc. * Do NOT sit in [[{{chitoryu12}} this troper's]] car with him and his mother. They can get into a conversation about anything and spend an entire half-hour talking endlessly about it. * Most of this troper and her best friend's conversations add up to this, when they're not plotting. We've taken to calling the chatroom, which has four regular members including the two of us, "the Lucky Star of dAmn." Even weirder, she acts almost exactly like Konota and I have quite a lot in common with Miyuki. We have nicknamed each member accordingly. * [[{{Tropers/Lullabee}} This troper]]'s younger sister and their mum once had an ''argument'' about whether the cone in a Friendly's Hidden Cone Sundae is actually hidden or just buried in the ice cream. Honestly. I don't mean they were just cross with each other and seized the opportunity to argue, I mean this almost seemed to really trouble them. And it didn't seem to cross their minds that it is hidden ''by'' being buried in the ice cream. * When I'm hanging out with people who I don't necessarily talk to much, and there's a lull in conversation, I'll throw out "Hey, how 'bout them Wiggles?" purely because it prompts a SeinfeldianConversation more often than not. Frequent sub-topics are [[JonasQuinn Greg the Yellow Wiggle's replacement by Sam]], Jeff's narcolepsy, and the videos or concerts we saw as kids. * Most of [[Tropers/AXavierB this troper's]] online conversations consist of this. Recently, we spent about five minutes arguing about whether frying pans should be called "skillets" or "sauce pans". We also had a discussion on whether [[FullmetalAlchemist Edward Elric]] counts as a {{bishonen}} or not. * Oh god. This Troper and his friend thrive on this sort of thing, preferably loudly and in the middle of a hallway. We have debated doorknobs, exerting effort and all sorts of meaningless things. * This troper was hiking up a mountain when she asked the age old question (and she actually referred to it as an age old question) "What would happen if a werewolf bit a vampire?" [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensued.]] ** Nothing, the vampire's already dead. Now, a vampire trying to vamp a werewolf, there's something else. * This troper once got into a long conversation with her mother about all the cars the family had ever leased. Her sister listened through the entire conversation and when it was over said "Great conversation [troper], you should tell it at parties! Make friends in college!" * This troper and her mother once had a conversation about what our cats would sound like if they could have human voices (as in, which actresses would voice them in a movie). * This troper easily engaged in such discussions with his class mates during lunch when he was in high school. These alwas seemed to end up discussing feces in some way, ending with one or more of the ones eating nearby telling us to shut up. Sometimes we did it intentionally

just to shake up the appetite. Odd times indeed. * Don't ask how but this troper and his friends were able to have a long, in depth conversation...about an NPC who's only role is to announce the villain and get killed. * [[Tropers/{{Sketchpad}} This Troper]] and her friends once had a fifteen minute conversation about why water can't have negative calories. There was also another conversation (this troper doesn't remember how it started) about how weird/creepy fetishists are, specifically foot fetishists and S&M fetishists. A different time they conversed about how black lemonade would taste. * This Troper and his friends have lost a whole Dungeons and Dragons session debating over the rules and ethics of a [[Seinfeldian Conversation]]. ** Another conversation led to the racial connotations of Disney's cartoons, and whether the Red Guy from the Cow and Chicken/I.M. Weasel cartoons are one guy, multiple guys with a good social network, or a Borg-esque collective * [[Tropers/JapaneseTeeth This troper]]'s entire time in high school was a long string of this kind of thing. Like speculation about what [[TheBible Biblical characters]]' favorite foods would have been[[hottip:* :Goliath likes deep-dish supreme pizza. And Gideon likes corn. Off the cob.]]. * Once upon a time I had a conversation with three other people about the effectiveness and appropriate use of Z-snaps. Like "-snap snap snap snap- Oh you did not just go there, girlfrieeeend~" ....Or something. Glorious other conversations include whether or not waffles could be used as currency based on size and shape(pancakes would be like cents compared to waffledollars) and the possibilities if Pokemon were real. Which is terrifying. Oh let's go bug-hunting and HOLY FUCKING SHIT GIANT BEES, SPIDERS, AND A MANTIS WITH SCYTHES. Wander into a cave and prepare to be assaulted by enormous bats and rock monsters that could EXPLODE AT ANY SECOND. * [[Tropers/RowsdowerSavesUs This troper]] and several friends once had an argument about the height of an average hobbit, the birthdate of The Immortal Bard, the inventor of paper plates, and whether pizza was truly Italian. This argument stretched on for two hours with no clear winner, and no clear answers, or clear purpose for the original argument. * [[Tropers/CorporealWolf This Troper]] has spent 3 hours chatting with a friend about nearly every aspect of Pokemon. Which Pokemon were best in stats, best in concept, most awesome, most RuleThirtyFour perversion potential, what the devs were thinking when adding HotSkittyOnWailordAction,what Pokemon would be the best to mix together for more awesomeness and what I do in my spare time. Tyranitar and Metagross were decided the overall best Pokemon for everything. We ended up with "Metatar". It's about as awesome as it sounds. ** There was also another conversation I had with a few other friends resulting in the creation of the Rhinorhinorhino. Basically, 3 rhinos fused together at a point. After a bit of we decided where it would be fused together. Nobody remembers though. * At lunch, a person ThisTroper was sitting with mentioned that a

friend of a friend has given eight-and-half blowjobs in her lifetime. The conversation then shifted as to how you could only give "half" a blowjob. Then if wether or not a girl (or boy) had to take the entire penis in her (or his) mouth for it to technically count as a blowjob, or if simply likcing the shaft qualified. '''Then''', since we rationalized that the person doing the blowing would have to use their hand to manipulate the organ at some point, would that be a dualqualifier as a handjob as well, or is any hand-contact canceled out by oral stimulation? We were in sixth grade at the time. ** I believe I know you. Did you then go on to discuss whether or not masturbating during sex with someone else is actually masturbating? * My friends and I had a discussion on whether or not purple is a color, if it is a color if it is a shade of violet, if Indigo really exsits, and on whether a range of colors is considered definded in its range or is approximations. '''IN ENGLISH CLASS WITH THE TEACHER INVOLVED.''' * Expect this to occur every time Enkufka and his [[VitriolicBestBuds best friend]] see each other, on topics ranging from gun mechanics to calculus to philosophy to Elephants to if there actually ''is'' a present. I argue that there is. It's under the tree. Your thoughts, TVtropes? * The Nationstates forum is MADE of this. * Me and my friends had an argument over the exact definition of vampire, and whether or not sparklepires count. That somehow moved on to an argument over the mechanics of zombies and whether or not 28 days later style infections count as zombie infections. We also have daily arguments over who would win in a fight between Bruce Lee, Jesus, and Chuck Norris? We eventually agreed that Batman would win. * My mother and I once had a whole discussion about the song "It's Raining Men". Did a bunch of average Joes suddenly get teleported into the sky, or was it more of a spontaneous generation sort of thing? Do they just go splat upon hitting the ground, or does some supernatural force make sure they land unharmed? Perhaps they all have parachutes. * This is ''every'' conversation between this troper and his {{Nakama}}. Topics can range from making fun of video games to things such as the melting temperature of turkey. --> '''Friend 1:''' ''(picks up his turkey melt sandwich)'' I wonder when turkey actually ''would'' melt. --> ''(Others think for a moment.)'' --> '''This troper:''' Well, first, you'd need to put it in an oxygenless environment. It'd burn otherwise. --> '''Friend 2:''' And get all the water out of it, too. --> '''This troper:''' So, you'd need turkey jerkey in a nitrogenfilled oven if you were going to liquify it. --> '''Friend 1:''' But then it's not turkey anymore. --> '''Friend 2:''' You know, if [other friend] was here, he'd probably ask what would be wrong with setting it on fire. ** We also have a long list of favorite and personal [[MemeticMutation memes]] that will get any of us laughing. * If you cannot have these conversations, we cannot be friends, because this happens all the time with all of my closest friends. This is how we get to know people. We've had lengthy discussions about

whether or not "Rainbow" is a colour, and spent a long time defining new emotions such as, 'I want it' (Yes, that IS an emotion) and arguing over the important distinction between 'stuff' and 'things'. This is just the way we think. Don't judge it; love it. * This troper judges how comfortable she is with people by how easy it is to start up these with them. * Pretty much how this Troper starts conversations. * This editor has this kind of conversations with people he barely knows. Not so long ago he had a conversation on why are [[HeroicMime silent protagonists]] silent. We came up with some interesting [[EpilepticTrees conclusions]]. We also ended up discussing if [[SuperMarioBros Mario]] is gay, for some reason. We also have discussions on [[TrollFic legendary badfic]]... [[HansVonHozel danube]]... what the hell is it supposed to mean? We have theories for that too. Not only that, but we have begun to use 'danube' in regular conversations. People don't usually understand what we are [[TheUnintelligible danubing about]]. * This troper is incapable of not speaking in these. Due to vast quantities of Whedon, Tarantino, and eccentricity, I always have weird, rambling conversations. Even with myself. * A couple friends and I were in history. The assignment was to form groups and discuss the ethics of bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Our conversation started with theorizing that the Japanese were taking their revenge quietly by becoming famous producers of electronics/appliances, and secretly making them mecha that would wake up as soon as the American public was lulled into complacency. It evolved into a discussion of what kitchen appliances would be the most dangerous if they came to life. Protip: don't ever let your blender see where you keep your knives. * I once started a debate with my friends over [[HarryPotter whether Felix Felicitas could help one overcome the effects of Veritaserum]]. * [[ManCalledTrue This troper]] has had to, on multiple occasions, recap the last three to four topics of conversation to find what needed to be discussed. Most recently, he engaged an IM friend in a battle of surreal taglines ("The stuff you find on your porch after the rain"; "The barbed wire around a [=McDonald's=] ball pit"). * Me and my brother once had a conversation about how to power a small radio station,. I suggested a windmill, but he wanted to do a nuclear reactor. I told him that the components for said reactor would cost to much, and that there would be no use for all the fire alarms we would have to scrap. He tried to debunk my theory, saying that we could get the same materials needed at Wal-mart for under $500. We stretched our conversation all the way to how the the massive radio interference would interrupt the hurricane warning signal to the neighborhood, and how tin foil would be a better conductor then an iron box due to it's commonness, making it easier to repair and replace. We was talking bout this with my brothers friends at Golden Coral, on his birthday. We got strange looked from everyone else, I mean, two Asian guys, a black guy, a Mexican, seven white hillbillies, and an old dude was talking about how to power their radio. * This troper had a conversation on Muffins and Muffin Tops. With his friends. After buying a muffin, and the defining characteristics of

muffins. Then a friend noted that the conversation was something off Seinfeld. * This troper and his friendsa do this a LOT. * This troper does this fairly often. One that comes to mind is semiseriously debating what kind of donut Thoreau preferred with her father, which turned into a drawn-out inside joke. * This troper and his friends are practically MADE OF THIS TROPE. * This troper's 300-level animal science class once spent a whole three-hour lab discussing how to make fire-breathing sheep. And then how to make them fly. The professor participated in this discussion (heck, he started it). ** This troper's animal nutrition class also once spent an hour discussing how one might theoretically create zombie cattle via use of a BSE (aka mad cow)-type agent. * This troper and his friends once spent over three hours discussing what constitutes as breakfast, lunch and dinner. (Exmple: "If you wake up at noon and have a sandwich, is it lunch, or breakfast?") * This troper doesn't describe himself as a pontificator of preposterous premises for nothing. I once spent an entire evening discussing the monarchist subtext of [[BeautyAndTheBeast]] and had a philosophical debate over Facebook with my brother about how he was in the next room, going into the subjectivity of distance and an existential outlook on reality. The latter stemmed from him berating me for talking to him on facebook when he was right in the next room. Back to [[SeinfeldianConversation Seinfeldian...]] ...Hey, have you ever noticed how they make pinatas have that paper fur, even when they're not of "furry" things? Does that mean the object the pinata represents is a "furry" version of that object, like a fuzzy treasure chest? What is ''up'' with that? * Maybe the weather in Pinataland is really cold so they need the fur to stay warm? ** But why would treasure chests need to stay warm? Perhaps they're insulating the contents. Like a Thermos flask. Hey, how do Thermos flasks work, anyway? *** Mostly by exploiting the properties of a vacuum as they pertain to heat transference. But if a pinata worked like that, would it implode? **** Pinatas are in a delicate balance and all it takes for them to implode, or explode, is one good whack. it throws off their homeostasis and they bleed candy as a result. * I once had a conversation with two others revolving around butts becoming numb when sitting too long. This was even lampshaded by someone else. * I often commit this trope, since I like to think about things no one else does (that's a good mindset, right?) * Yeah, this [[{{Tropers/Stormofscript}} troper]] does this all the time. He will frequently discuss things that have little correlation to the subject at hand in class, much to the frustration of some of his teachers. Especially his Biology teacher, who doesn't know the answer to some of his questions, like whether cloned goat meat tastes different than regular meat. They all get used to it eventually though, and the information he gets is both intruiging and the sheer

strageness of them is good for a few laughs. Also, this troper and his brother will typically go into detail discussions about correct grammar, such as whether maded is a word, and story devices, such as whether sterotypes are good to start off a story with. Then again, that's more due to the fact that we both love to read and write than anything. * Me and a friend, both being [[Cloudcuckoolander Cloudcuckooolanders]], are sometimes prone to this when chatting on MSN. Just now, we discussed Google Translate, and found out that instead of bad translations, it actually tells everyone's secrets. * [[@/{{Pastylover2}} This troper]] does this a lot because of his random nature. A question for you guys: [[Series/DoctorWho Who would win between a Dalek and a Weeping Angel?]] ** Also what if you see an Weeping Angel in the mirror? ** Is killing a dead guy still killing? * Conversations with This Troper's lunchmates tends to be this, occasionally overlapping with BlackComedy, as with a recent conversation about the best way to dispose of a dead body in a body of water. (Personally, this troper recamended chopping the body up, putting it in a plastic garbage bag, adding some rocks, tying it up as tightly as possible, and throwing it into the middle of the ocean from a helicopter. * This troper and her brother, on a regular basis. We've discussed everything from [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot zombie trees]] (don't ask me how that works: all I know is that they can be defeated using sporks) to TimeTravel. Once, a friend of ours [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] this as we chatted about what a [[CoolPet cool pet]] a bluejay would be. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SeinfeldIsUnfunny * Back in 7th grade, this troper had to compile an anthology of short stories along with a few other students. One of the stories we could pick from was TheMonkeysPaw. It didn't get picked because it was so "overused", although I argued that... well, SeinfeldIsUnfunny. * Though he really likes Led Zeppelin in general, [[{{Tropers/Emptyeye}} This troper]] has to remind himself of this effect whenever he listens to their debut album. The first time he heard it, his reaction was roughly "It's an album of really heavy blues. This is impressive...how, exactly?" He tends to forget that in 1969, ''no one had done 'really heavy blues' before'' and this was totally revolutionary. * This troper had to remind herself that the cliffhanger at the end of [[StarTrekTheNextGeneration Best of Both Worlds Part I]] was really the first show to put in such peril to its lead character (and the TropeCodifier if not Maker for putting such a cliffhanger at the end of the season). Because watching it twenty years later, BrainwashedAndCrazy as a season-ender has been done. to. death. * My little sister tends to exclaim "You're not funny!" whenever she sees Jerry Seinfeld in the recent adverts for the Greater Building

Society (it's Australian). [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife I immediately thought of the trope page]]. ** The networks also have a bad habit of picking the lowest common denominator of jokes in trailers. * I [[AvertedTrope generally avoid this trope as much as I can]], as I kinda look at things that were revolutionary for its time the same way it was years ago. * Would finding a work too similar to a better known project by most of the same people, only to find out it's slightly [[OlderThanTheyThink older than you thought]] qualify? I initially found Temple Of The Dog's only album to be good, but predictable due to sounding exactly like Pearl Jam but with Chris Cornell singing... Then I figured out the album came out a year ''before'' the first Pearl Jam album, and the same year Soundgarden had put out the much more metal-influenced ''Louder Than Love'': So at the time, it ''wasn't'' a self-derivative Pearl Jam/Soundgarden supergroup, it was a Mother Love Bone/Soundgarden supergroup (featuring backing vocals by some guy no one had ever heard of named Eddie Vedder) that actually sounded pretty different from either parent band. * [[MikeK I]] sort of have this problem with Bad Brains' ''I Against I'': I can't really get over its dated late 80's alt-funk-metal sound, despite the fact that there wasn't really a trend for combining those genres until a year or two later (although RedHotChiliPeppers and Faith No More were already around and covering somewhat similar ground). Earlier Bad Brains material manages to avert this: while they were very influential to hardcore in terms of speed and aggression, their songs were also generally more musically complex than their followers (the core of the band had previously worked together in a jazz fusion group, and it showed a little). * If you think about it, this happens a lot. Here's a few things that I only realized with some 20/20 hindsight... ** Citizen Kane is boring to you? Well, nobody had ever done anything like it. At the time, it was riveting. ** The Exorcist doesn't scare you? Well, at the time, it was groundbreaking. Nobody was doing anything like that. *** I was just thinking about this. I was old enough to remember the hype about The Exorcist when it came out, but not old enough to see it. When I did finally see it on video in the late eighties, my reaction was along the lines of "This is what all the hype was about?". Of course, this was after seeing dozens of films inspired to a greater or less extent by The Exorcist, and knowing the outlines of the plot from cultural osmosis. It must have been very different to see the film in its original release. Perhaps a slot in the main entry is justified? ** Jimi Hendrix sounds self-important, pompous, and not very entertaining to you? That's because every guitarist ever since has borrowed extensively from him. * This troper doesn't laugh when he considers that the cutscenes in ''{{Lunar}}'' were actually rather new. * This troper's cousins complained about ''OcarinaOfTime'' and how terrible its graphics were compared to ''TwilightPrincess'' (and therefore making the game itself a bad one). Both this troper and her

brother wanted to smack them over the head with a couple of two-byfours because way-back-when, those graphics were ''revolutionary''...and the graphics shouldn't even BE the sole defining factor of a game's quality. ** This troper, who grew up on [[Game/TheLegendOfZelda The original Zelda]] and didn't even get to touch OOT until she was in her ''thirties'', would have been very happy to help you introduce your cousins to the blunt end of a clue-by-four. Her family never went beyond the Super Nintendo when she was growing up, so it's only in adulthood that she's retroactively getting to experience the parts of the series that came out prior to TP. They're ''all'' glorious. ** This troper, despite the risk of blunt cranial trauma, also feels this way about OcarinaOfTime, although not for the graphics. My first game was [[TheLegendofZeldaOracleGames Oracle of Ages]], didn't play [=OoT=] until I preordered TheWindWaker, and didn't finish it until just a few years ago. I realize that some (read: most) people think it's one of the best games ever, but I don't have the same nostalgia filter for that game like I do for games like SuperMarioWorld. * This troper, without giving specifics, influenced a type of Youtube comedy video that has been copied (probably) over a hundred times. This troper's videos are often criticized for "ripping off X or Y's jokes" when that particular joke originated with his videos. * When this troper watched ''Wrath Of Khan'' for the first time, all he could think of in some scenes (apart from [[LargeHam "KHAAAAN!"]]) was "Wow, this is like a movie of ''MassEffect''." Not so much unfunny or bad, as I still really enjoyed it, but that's still pretty backwards. * [[{{Tropers/FabianCH}} This (19-year old) troper]] has, for a while now, enjoyed rediscovering how ingeniously many tropes were used when they were new. Most recently, he was pleasantly surprised at the explicitness of the earliest {{James Bond}} movies. * This Troper loves PinkFloyd but finds ''TheDarkSideOfTheMoon'' SoOkayItsAverage (compared to other Floyd albums at least), even though the songs are still very good. He'd rather listen to ''Wish You Were Here'', ''Meddle'' or even ''Animals'' in one playthrough. * This is a pretty vicious circle for most equal rights/liberation movements. The minute you have some rights, the upcoming generation, who is already accustomed to having those rights, not only doesn't realize why continuing the struggle is important, they have nothing by which to gauge the struggle that has already taken place, and are likely to regard the oldsters banging on about it as tedious old farts going on about nothing, when they're the ones who made it possible for such a perspective even to exist. Feminist and LGBT rights movements, I'm looking at you. (''Especially'' the latter -- it is literally ungraspable to a lot of people that homosexuality was ''against the law'' in Canada within my dad's lifetime, or that we've only been in the Constitution since after I came out.) ** Even more true with the US. Sodomy was illegal here in many states until like, six years ago. * This troper is an inversion. Having seen Seinfeld for the first time now, a few weeks ago it was much funnier than most of the other sitcoms airing nowadays.

* This hit me when i had discovered David Bowie the man invented enough genres that amazing albums like Lodger and Station to Station lose a bit of their oomph. * I was talking to my father about Eagles ([[SpellMyNameWithAThe or is it]] TheEagles?) and I said that they turned rock and roll into old people music. He invoked this trope on me, saying they were revolutionary back in the late 1970's. * It's kind of annoying when the uber obsessed anime fans decry American animation as inferior, particularly Disney. I love anime too, but here's a news flash: the father of anime, OsamuTezuka, was inspired by the animation and designs of WaltDisney cartoons. Also note that if it wasn't for Disney, animation probably wouldn't be taken very seriously, AND he developed a lot of animation techniques that are even used today. * This troper just started watching {{Buffy The Vampire Slayer}}. Halfway through the first season and he has to keep reminding himself of this trope. * Some of my favorite works of art and entertainment are precisely the ones that fall victim to Seinfeld Is Unfunny. The reason? Often such a work was ''the only one of its era to be doing what it was doing'', so in hindsight it seems almost miraculous that it ever existed to begin with. This makes it revolutionary for me, and thus cooler. It can also help a great deal if you had never been exposed to a particular genre or fad to begin with; ''every'' example of that genre or fad, no matter its era, will seem fresh to you then. I, for example, didn't get into heavy metal music until college; up until that point, my favorite rock tunes had mostly been oldies, pop, and soft rock. So when in 2002 I purchased a CD reissue of JudasPriest's ''Sad Wings Of Destiny'' from 1976 (which in '76 was only available in Great Britain, and on a minor record label), I listened to some of the songs and thought: "This is ''awesome''!" Then, a couple of years later, I purchased a CD of BlackSabbath's ''Paranoid'' (which is from ''1970'', for goodness's sakes!) and was absolutely ''terrified'' by the song "Iron Man!" As I became more knowledgeable about heavy metal, these '70s albums no longer seemed so unique or daring to me - but I could still appreciate them for forging such uncertain frontiers during a decade when ''disco'' was the most mainstream form of music! I mean, that's almost anachronistic if you think about it. * I did a report on the cultural impact of the Jews on America using AndyKaufman as my prime example. I had to spend about five minutes explaining to the class that no, ''no one had done an Elvis impression in an act before''. (I also had to explain that Kaufman's foreign man persona was just a character, but that is not this trope.) * Kinda what I think of PokemonRedAndBlue... unlike many others, I didn't grow up with them from an early age, having Crystal as my first game instead. I actually only got to try Blue a few years ago, a while after Diamond/Pearl were released, and honestly... I didn't think it was very impressive compared to the new games. (The glitches were fun, though) * This troper's first Resident Evil title was ResidentEvil4, mostly because I heard it was great [[SoCoolItsAwesome (and was it ever)]] and I was finally old enough to get it without any conflict. Then I

decided I wanted to try the other games in the series out. Naturally, I started with the first Resident Evil (I skipped ResidentEvil0 because it wasn't available), or rather, the GameCube REmake. When I popped it in... I was confused and a little bit upset. What followed was one of the biggest EpicFail moments in gaming history. ** The camera surprised me. I didn't know 4 was the first to use the Third Person POV until I went to this site (meaning I [[WeCouldHaveAvoidedAllOfThis should have just looked on YouTube to find a video, or something)]] The constant changing camera threw me for a loop as well. ** The control. This is COMPLETELY my fault, as I seem to have a CameraScrew and InterfaceScrew logged into my brain, or something. I dunno, at first it seemed like Chris/Jill would only run into walls when I wanted them to go straight (not knowing that I was an idiot and had to put myself in their POV) ** Combat. I couldn't see if my bullets were even hitting the zombie. Wow, I'm stupid. ** To add insult to injury, the store didn't even check the disks, as they were both damaged on the left side. In short, my younger self whined more than the IrateGamer until he buckled down and learned how to play. It's not as good as 4, but it's still a great game. ---Why did the Troper cross the Road? To get back to SeinfeldIsUnfunny... what do you mean that joke's not funny? It was back then! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SeizaSquirm * Also happened during this Troper's kendo class, with the newbies notably being unable to stay in seiza for too long. The usual punishment for excessive squirming was to recite the ''very long'' oath this particular kendo school says at the beginning of class, ''all in Japanese''. * This troper is developing bone spurs on her knees and insteps from sitting in ''seiza'' during iaido and kendo practice. * This Troper has no trouble sitting like this whatsoever, but is by no means graceful.I just do it automatically. ** Some people are just genetically predisposed to sitting in seiza. My brothers and I, as well as most people on my mother's side of the family have no trouble at all with sitting in this position, but my dad can't do it and neither can any of my relatives on his side of the family. However, as a tradeoff of sorts, I can't sit crosslegged without having something to brace myself on to avoid falling over backward... ** This troper has never had a reason to practice sitting ''seiza'', but is capable of doing it comfortably. She is also capable of entering and exiting the position without using her hands or separating her knees and ankles, and of sitting in a similar position with her feet beside her hips instead of under them for an even longer period. She also likes to sit with her knees pulled up to her chest

when in a chair and to crouch like a frog (or, as her mother claims, a small raptor) on the floor. She can sit cross-legged, but really doesn't enjoy it and tended to get in trouble at school for pulling her knees to her chest (the inability to do this without [[PantyShot showing her underwear]] is one of the reasons she likes the trope RealWomenNeverWearDresses). ** This troper has the same talent, but then is also extremely flexible... * In my [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iaido iaido]] class, we once spent several hours practicing proper posture for seiza position (since it's used heavily in iaido kata). We had to go from standing to seiza and back to standing all while ''balancing cups of water on our heads.'' * This troper can get into and out of the seiza position quite easily, but ''staying'' there... hoo, boy. Owie. ** Nor can [[@/SoWeAteThem I]]. I used to be able, back in elementary school, but evidently, I need to stretch more, especially since I'm about to take Japanese in college and don't know the teacher's position on the matter. * Thankfully our sensei doesn't really care if we sit in seiza or not, but it's a sort of unwritten rule that the higher ranks at least try it. [[{{Tropers/Latia}} This troper]] can't do it for too long, as it makes all the blood drain away from my legs and makes standing up a pain in the ass. * Note sure if this counts, but Muslim prayer posture includes sitting position that is very close to a Seiza position. The last posture in particular, places emphasis on the toe thumb pointing forward (ie, direction of Mecca) so this variant is even harder. Some Muslims doesn't do that, but most can follow a basic Seiza position...only for a few minutes, this troper included, playing this trope quite straight. * This troper used to have no trouble whatsoever with the seiza position, but an unfortunate injury to her ankle means that she starts fidgeting to get her weight off that foot after a short amount of time because the ankle doesn't like bending that way ---''Back to SeizaSquirm'' ----

SeldomSeenSpecies * One of this Troper's characters is a ferret-badger; a kind of mustelid that lives across Asia. On hearing the name, most people picture a ferret, a badger, or a made up hybrid of the two, which gets ''very'' annoying come comission time.

SelectiveEnforcement * This female troper regularly gropes other girls. As in, constantly. One day, she got suspension and alternative schooling for feeling up a female student. No one else was punished for the exact same thing, and

this troper finds it ironic that she got punished for that instead of the, say, sex at school, being high at school, selling drugs at school, fighting, rampant profanity towards teachers, arson, and carrying weapons. Selective indeed... ** Wait, did you do all that stuff or is it just stuff that happens there? * This troper, in 2 ways. The first is the actual trope with siblings, older and younger. The second, an inversion really. This troper can get away with anything, while others can't. Zero tolerance policy for fighting at school? No biggie. She once got a teacher to force a kid to apologize for being hit. Granted, he was rather... rude, but still. Getting near perfect grades helps. * RealLife: Any of us who grew up as "nerds" in the 1970's or earlier are quite familiar with this trope, as it constituted the bulk of our academic social life. The Nerd is attacked, either verbally or physically, but the UselessAuthorityFigure only sees the Nerd's reaction. So the Nerd gets in trouble. Again and again and again ... (And years of psychologists wonder where my deep-seated hostility to authority figures comes from ...) ** Not just nerds any longer, but anyone not in the status quo. Most likely because the nerds abandoned academia and the cheerleaders and footballers who got too fat to do either became teachers instead for the easy hours. (of course depending on country of origin, [[YourMileageMayVary YMMV]]) ** Goddammit... this makes some things so much clearer in retrospective. My mother told me that teachers had told her exactly that thing about me. ** Yes, only in junior high school could crouching in a fetal position while getting the living snot kicked out of one be defined (and punished) as "fighting". ** Indeed. This troper, as a sweet little kindergarten girl, approached the PE teacher to complain, in tears of pain/fear/anger after being repeatedly assaulted with a pin by a boy. Guess who got in trouble! *** Ummm...the sweet little girl? **** The PE teacher! Wait no. ** This troper got in trouble for crying too much when a basketball was intentionally thrown at his face. The guy who threw it didn't even get a slap on the wrist. ** This troper was once harassed by an older student who would repeatedly "pants" him (pantsing-the act of pulling down someone else's pants for purposes of pissing them off). The teacher ignored him and brushed me off when I came to complain. Finally taking matters into my own hands, I was punished for pantsing him once. People wonder where I get this funny idea that everyone's out to get me. ** Ironically subverted for this troper. Whenever the other kids pushed me enough to finally [[BewareTheNiceOnes crack]], the teachers not only didn't punish me for fighting back, but even admitted that they perfectly understood why I would lose my temper. But the thought of getting special treatment led to me stopping retaliations altogether and even learning to control my temper more. Can't help but wonder if it was all part of a XanatosGambit on the teacher's part...

** Averted by ThisTroper, whose first fight nailed both parties in detention. Played straight by his brother who was constantly provoked and harassed by a person in his Confirmation class and was nearly denied the sacrament over it. ** ThisTroper had her things pushed off her desk by "accident". I ignored it. The teacher turns around. The same guy walks over and throws my stuff off in a way that pretty much says "I did it the first time on purpose". I yell at him. The teacher turns around and tells me to apologize to him for yelling at him because of an accident. I tried to explain what happened. She wouldn't listen and said apologize or get out. Guess who grabbed her stuff and silently walked out of the classroom. Since she didn't say how far out, I kept going and walked right out the doors of the school. She should really pay more attention to words, including her own. ** The "authorities" in my elementary school were retarded enough to pretty much reward the first person to do something bad, when they ''knew they did do someting bad on purpose''. I once even brought the prevalence of this trope in my school up to my teacher, who proceeded to give a response that made no goddamn sense, not because of flawed logic, but because it barely had anything to do with my qeustion. ** ThisTroper was regularly picked on for most of his school years by one particular [[TooDumbToLive dumbass]], and was constantly ignored by the adults because they thought that the problem could be resolved peacefully. [[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer Yeah...]] ** ThisTroper got this (teachers ignoring constant bullying yet punishing occasional retaliation) for 7 straight years in primary school. Said troper changed schools 4 times, yet all 5 had the same problem. Said troper also ran into the other direction of this, but still the crappy side of it; Said troper's arm was broken, deliberately yet some faked tears on the part of the rensponsible were sufficient to get the principal to not punish her. This troper has episodes of wanting to pull a [[DeathNote Light Yagami]]. I wonder why... ** An example that sticks out in [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper's]] memory particuarly well, was during Cooking Class during the clean up. That particular lesson, said troper had got the job of drying up and another guy was putting away. Due to his ''constant'' griping over how she was doing the job, as well as small things (such as if there was a slight wet patch, or having a bubble left), and generally acting as a {{Jerkass}} to her, said troper eventually got fed up and ended up hitting him with the damp tea-towel. Due to it being a heat-of-themoment thing, she ended up hitting him ''across his eyes''.....and just at that moment, one of the strictest teachers in the school walked in, leading to this exchange. -->'''Teacher:''' * Troper's name* ! Apologise to * male* ! -->'''This Troper:''' .....Sorry. -->'''Guy:''' * Still reeling from the hit* S'okay. ** Freshman year, this troper was being sexually harassed in PE by a female student. Now. two things of note before I continue: when I get angry, I begin to cry, and this harasser had a friend about twice my height and weight, who'd step between us so I couldn't retaliate. Every-time I run to the teacher to report it, every-time the teacher

"lectures" the student, then ignores it. Finally, I kicked the big one, and the teacher sent us all to the office since "She can't ignore the issue when it comes to blows." On the upside, when the viceprinciple gave me a tap on the wrist, and suspended the two for a day from school, and half a week from class. The vice-principal also was vocal to the fact that he sympathized, and the PE teacher wasn't around the next year. * A well-known sibling-versus-sibling tactic (or, really, anywhere where children are in competition) is to subtly provoke the target, looking as innocent as possible, until the target explodes. At that point, [[WoundedGazelleGambit run to authority, claiming you are about to be murdered, and the target is punished]]. Works best when used against an older sibling--an older sibling claiming a younger one is going to attack him looks just a little silly! ** This troper's ''older'' sister does this, except this troper's parents are so [[GenreSavvy genre savvy]] that they never believe her. It sounds sort of redundant to mention this, but this troper is about one hundred pounds heavier than she is. ** Also a well-known cat-versus-cat tactic. ** My little sister does this ''constantly'', to the point that I have a bruise on my knee from where she constantly kicks me. Of course, she's seven and I'm seventeen. Guess who ''always'' gets in trouble for shouting at her? ** You guys won't believe this, but...my STEPMOM did this to me, growing up. When she really wanted to piss me off, she would stick her tongue out at me like a 6 year old. And as I got older, it got worse, to the point where she would shout obscenities at me, or tell me ''I'm the reason my mother drinks''...then whenever I finally snap (and in the "you made your mother an alchoholic" instance, called her a bitch), surprise surprise, she runs to daddy, or manages to have him witness my provoked reaction. And guess who he believes...''every'' time? When I told him she said I was the reason my mother drinks he turned to her, said "that's just abusive," and then ''instantly'' went back to agreeing with her that I was completely out of line and she was blameless. To this day my father and I have a strained relationship because of moments like this. Did I mention that very day she told me my mother drinks because of me, before we went home, she told my brother to beat me up, and the only reason he didn't is that I got to the car before he did and she called him off? And when I told my father this, he ''still'' couldn't find fault with her? I was punished severely. She walked off with a self-satisfied smirk. And I'm leaving out the worst part because this is getting too long. ** My little sister took this UpToEleven once: our parents were out shopping, and she decided she wanted to watch a show. Fine, considering we have THREE [=TVs=] ... but no, she wants to watch her show on the TV ''I'm'' watching rather than using one of the others. So when I tell her "No, go in the other room," she pitches a fit, then slinks off when I don't cave... and comes back to throw a kitchen knife at me. Then, when I get up going "WTF, sis?!", she takes off, locks herself in our parents' bedroom, and calls them screaming that I'm gonna kill her. Thankfully, they didn't believe her because she already had a history of "She hit me back!" and {{Wounded Gazelle

Gambit}}s at that point, as well as being a drama queen, but ''damn''. * Also a common tactic used by Internet trolls so they can keep trolling without actually getting busted by the mods is to constantly provoke a particular poster just within the bounds of the forum rules until said poster flips out. ** It's also common on sites like [=deviantARt=], which forbid trolling or encouraging trolling. You can slander someone all you want, as long as you don't name them directly. This leads to people having back and forth journal entries sniping at each other, until someone cracks, or the fans troll their opponent for them. * This Troper having experienced this trope and the neither party is innocent version growing up has learned to know when authority is present or there is a camera. * This Troper has dealt with an extremely aggravating girl in sixth grade. She was quite obviously skipping classes, and when I approached the teachers of aforementioned classes they explained they knew she was doing it, and were telling her to stop and whatnot, but for whatever reason weren't doing anything about it. She overheard and got on my case... by the last fourth of the year she was spreading rumors about my infinite vileness, just like everyone else in the grade (this, I knew, was fact). A few days later, justice was supposedly served - the school brought in two counselors. She was still saying ridiculous stuff, and when I found out again everyone simply said that I was trying to get attention and that the Almighty Counselors' Discussion couldn't have ''possibly'' not worked. * This is the story of my life. For instance, when I actually attempted to socialize in class, I was the one always busted for talking. One time we were doing an improve in Speech and Drama and I cussed and everyone was on my case about it all year, even though I was being insulted for no reason, and everyone else does offensive things all the time. All the other kids could be shouting and disrupting the class but I would be the only one busted, and I would be busted for DRAWING. Everyone else could be laughing, and I'd be yelled at for laughing. I used to get threatened on a daily basis in middle school, and my life was a living hell, but if I make one statement even remotely violent, I would be sent home. Same thing happened with my sister. Apparently, it was because we seemed like the types, ya know, outcast. When I tried to better myself by joining ROTC, other kids would drink, skip classes, ext., and merely lecture them a bit. I would wear my uniform a little less than perfect, and not only would the teacher be on my case, but also the same students who cut English that morning, and never let me live in down. By my junior year in high school, I stopped trying, and things have been a little better. * This troper (who will now talk in first person) wasn't exactly high on the social ladder in middle school. I also happened to be taller than most of the kids. One day, one of my tormentors (who was female) thought it would be funny to trip me while I was walking down the stairs. Two black eyes, a broken nose, and a chipped tooth later (I fell face first), I came back to school and confronted the her, but remained calm. She went batshit crazy, saying that it was an accident, and that I didn't get seriously hurt. Then she slapped my across the

face. With a book. Which happened to be "The Odyssey." Dazed, I backhanded her as hard as I could. Cue me getting suspended for a week. Oh, by the way, she got "a stern lecture" for tripping me. * [[Tropers/RedWren This troper]] would like to note that quite a lot of the time, it looks like this because everyone is punished in private. Because goodness knows the subversion made her do some things she shouldn't've... ** And, of course, sometimes played straight. I was accused of being a pusher (yes, as in trying to get people hooked on drugs), and the teacher would not care even if we were supposed to be singing and the student was talking to me instead. Luckily, the selective was to not punish the person who acted first, so... * This troper isn't the most social person there is and when she was 8, she was the best one in her classroom at a ton of stuff except for P.E. She was for some reason teased about it constantly. Constantly meaning during class, recess, when the teacher left for us to do homework, ETC. All the time. ALWAYS. Then when she finally snapped, knowing she'd get into trouble if she caused a fight, she grabbed a few of her crayons and broke them in half to avoid hitting the other kids on the face. Ended up being sent to the office because of it. Breaking my own #@$&ing pencil Crayons!!!. The ones who caused it were the victims of my illegal and horrible crayon breaking! they will be scarred for life wont they? I should be ashamed. * Subverted by ThisTroper. He gets this trope constantly, but when he gets in fights, he typically ends up rather severely injuring the other party, because he DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength. He does, however, feel justified in complaining that his school has invoked this rather badly at one point: the story is, he uses a laptop at school. He is currently on his second laptop, partly because the first one was stepped on and moderately badly damaged by a [[TheLibby Libby]] with something of a grudge against him. Of course, when he lashed out in his 'dangerous psychotic rage' and hit her (and was later told he induced all of a small bruise ... on the other shoulder), he was suspended for three days. Go figure. * As a babysitter, and now an aunt, I'd like to point out one justification for ''some'' instances of this trope: If the authority figure doesn't actually see the activities that led up to the blow-up, there's no way he can take the word of one kid over the other unless there's a proven track record of virtue (or vice) to go on. As you're noticing, some kids [[WoundedGazelleGambit lie to get other kids in trouble]], so... consider the scenario: ** ''Alice is babysitting Bob and Jim, ten-year-old twins. Alice leaves the room to go to the bathroom. When she gets back, Jim is on the floor squealing like a stuck pig; a toy (owned by both but more precious to Bob than to Jim) lies on the floor, broken. Bob claims that Jim wanted a turn at the X-Box and when Bob wouldn't give him a turn right away, Jim broke the toy out of spite; that's why Bob hit Jim. Jim claims that he accidentally sat on the toy, which broke a tiny decorative piece off, and even though Jim tried to apologize, Bob got so mad at the damage that he broke his toy the rest of the way and then hit Jim.'' *** If Bob's telling the truth, Jim is totally out of line and should

be punished. Bob should be punished for hitting, but the provocation was very one-sided and so perhaps the punishment should be light. *** On the other hand, if Jim's telling the truth, Jim shouldn't be punished at all, and Bob should be punished both for hitting Jim without cause and for breaking a toy in anger, especially one that wasn't entirely his own. **** And there's no real way to tell which punishment is appropriate, so you merely punish the one you're directly aware of, Bob hitting Jim. **** (On the up side, it's a perfect chance to teach the concept of "blessing by association" and "cursing by association": If one person does something bad, then other people, even innocent people, tend to suffer simply by being in the vicinity. Good reason to try to do good things instead of bad things (so you don't hurt other people), and to choose your friends wisely (so they don't hurt you or get you sent to jail or anything).) * My teachers mostly played this straight, too. I was picked on a lot in elementary school, but the second I lashed out -- which was normally more verbal than physical, using the same words I'd heard my parents use while driving and dealing with stupid inconsiderate drivers -- I got in trouble. Fortunately my mother tended to have a wry sense of humor about this, seeing as how I was just repeating what I'd heard her say. She often made jokes like "Should I write them a note saying 'I'm sorry your kid's such an asshole?'" ** This ''was'' partly averted at least once, though, when a kid threw rocks at me and I called him the usual name. That time, we ''both'' got in trouble -- however, the other kid was somewhat of a nerdy outcast himself, so... (I think he may have been picking on me in an effort to fit in, actually.) * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] has run into this quite a lot over the years; probably the most notable being back in 5th grade Sunday school (The year I dealt with a SadistTeacher who obviously preferred the girls). The other boys where talking trash about me and physically pushing me around, and yet, the teacher wouldn't do a thing about it (Keep in mind she was in the room as all that was happening). However, when I finally had enough and began to stand up for myself (It was more verbal than physical) the teacher finally took action...by punishing me for "misbehaving"; the other boys where free to continue harassing me with no fear of punishment. That was just part of the reason why I stopped going after only one day * This troper's middle school practically had this as a policy as far as the dress code was concerned. "Bad kids" could wear whatever the hell they wanted with almost no repercussions because teachers and assistant principles were so sick of dealing with them. But "good kids" couldn't show even a hint of midriff or wear a neckline even a hair lower than necessary without getting reprimanded and told how dissapointed everyone was with them, and being forced to wear the baggy T-shirts the school provided all day. * This troper's sister use to pull the WoundedGazelleGambit all the time. Mom's usual response was each to their own rooms(no TV, video games, etc). It wasn't until she finally started listening to me in high school that she understood what my sister was doing.

* My mom did the inverse. My brother beat me up and I got the same punishment for telling her that he did it. She favored him and didn't feel like differentiating the punishments. When I explained, I was punished worse. * My brother apparently used to have this until one of his provokers ended up going over a bannister and broke both his legs in the fall. I'm not sure how long my brother was suspended for as a result. I on the other hand now have a healthy reputation as a sociopath built from years of off-cuff comments and my general ability to fully segregate my cognition from emotion and even logic. * This troper remembers this trope applying to him during the latter part of primary school. One particular example was where two of his friends had an argument and decided to fight after school, this troper was unaware of this and found a large group of students surrounding them shouting at them as they [[ZeroChops "fought"]], not caring much about it he decided to just go home and leave the to morons to it, the next day he was summoned to the principal where both of the friends were, they were told to apologize to each other and think about how fighting is wrong, he was given a month's worth of detention because he should have taken responsibility and stopped them from fighting. * This troper's job is something like this. Most of the employees can be over on the other side of the story nattering at one another, but if I take out my Ipod when there's no one in the store, I get in trouble. ---''You'' may go back to SelectiveEnforcement, but ''you'' have to write an essay about why the loser is always wrong. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

SelectiveSquick * This troper and a friend did this to each other. How? One of her fetishes is gay guys feeding each other with their mouths. One of mine is lesbian incest. * This troper wonders why Metal Gear Solid, a game aimed at primarily guys, puts so much HoYay in it. Come on, Kojima. ** So the explosions, blood, and bricks-for-shit are all just a masquerade? * This troper has recently been playing through the freshly released action game ''Bayonetta'', which takes the fanservice UpToEleven. I actually find the title character decidedly unattractive and everything she does to be trying way, way too hard... but the gameplay is good enough that I can look past it. * This troper actualy had some guy on Xbox Live on Halo 3 start masturbating after he said he was wearing a t-shirt. What made it creepier is that a f***ed up 5-year-old joined in too. Needless to say, I don't play Halo 3 anymore. * This troper has become a fan of some characters of whom she needed to [[DisContinuity forcibly remove]] one or two moments of their screentime. Robin Hood from [[Series/RobinHood the show of the same name]] had an awesome series introduction, but she more or less had to

ignore the fact that he was [[AManIsNotAVirgin sucking face with a random, inexplicalbly Medeval hawt chick for no good reason]]. Lyon, the kindhearted AntiVillain from FireEmblem 8 quickly established himself as one of her favorite FE bad guys, save for one moment when he equated being defeated by a woman as a reason he was too weak to be a leader. [[DeathNote Ray Penber's]] infamous {{Retirony}} speech pretty much ruined the entire point. Cid Highwind from FinalFantasyVII racked up at least ten thousand {{Badass}} points within three minutes of his introduction, but they disappeared just as quickly when she learned his verbal bullying of [[ExtremeDoormat Shera]] borderlines DomesticAbuse. * This troper knows a group of straight female fans of the ''RumbleRoses'' series, who enjoy the gameplay, the plots and the music rather than the JigglePhysics and girl-on-girl mud-wrestling the games are sold on. ** This bi male troper (who prefers women somewhat more than men) agrees with those fans. *** That, my friends, is what makes a good video game: come for the bounce, stay for the story. Comparatively, DOAII was openly bloomph-oriffic to draw an audience, but also proved to be a solid fighting game. ** Awesomely, check out a ''Rumble Roses'' forum at some point. The demographic is pretty much split evenly between teenage girls who like having a video game [[BechdelsRule totally about girl characters]], and teenage boys who like having a video game [[MsFanservice totally about girl characters]]. Both sides get on, as well, it's really rather sweet. * This (male) troper has similar issues with ''OuranHighSchoolHostClub''. ** This (straight male) troper reads and enjoys ''Ouran'' wholeheartedly for its AffectionateParody aspects. That a majority of the main characters are {{Bishonen}} (and therefore [[HoYay very slashable]]) makes no difference to him. ** This male troper goes for tomboyish girls anyway, and spent too much of the show crushing on Haruhi to care about the female-oriented fanservice. *** Ironically, a running gag in the fandom is the premise of the show is actually very man-friendly, considering the guys attend to cute rich schoolgirls who all crush on them, and the fruitiest character is actually the female lead. * Some older, more analytical HarryPotter fans get an awful lot of this. I'm just disturbed that not only were other people *seeing* Tom Riddle/Horace Slughorn... [[HotForStudent They were writing it.]] ** Disturbingly, this seems to include the movie writers. They took what this troper saw as ambiguous subtext for the sake of creepfactor, and turned it into "yeah, that guy? total paedo." * While this troper does appreciate the girl-friendly eyecandy in Buffy, the random 'OMG Hawt Chik' moments tend to throw him off a bit. Not even just because of the dislike, but because of how random it always seems to the plot. ** Especially since Whedon is supposed to be anti-gratuitousfanservice. This troper would probably be more offput if he wasn't a

heterosexual male. *** [[DoubleStandard So you're openly saying that sexy men are okay and sexy women aren't.]] *** Yeah, this is odd. Besides, which was more common, any of the female cast wearing barely anything or JamesMarsters in a single, unseen, sock? The second one, if you're wondering. There is no fucking way Joss is straight. Bisexual, sure. Straight? That's impossible.