12- 15 yo girl Monologues

Tiffany: This may not seem like a big thing to you but I think something should be done about bullying in school. But to tell the teachers would be to dob someone in and then youre worse off than ever. I really hate it. Every lunchtime one girl gets my lunch box and takes whatever she wants. What gets me is that everyone else just watches. I hate it. I try and tell Mum and Dad but they just say I should stick up for myself. I hate it. I try to stay in the classroom but the teacher shoos me out. She doesnt listen either. Just says: Good things come in small packages. I hate getting changed for sport. All the comments about why would I need to wear a bra? Mum calls mine a training bra. Well, just you wait. Ill get there. Ill show the lot of you. One day Ill be king of the castle. No, the queen. Ill be a brain surgeon and that girl who steals my lunch, shell have a tumour the size of a lemon, and Ill have to operate and . . . (A group of bigger girls walk past and shove her. She yells at them.) Hey! (Pause) Oh, no . . . nothing. I wasnt talking to you. (Pause) So yeah, one day.

from The Last Night of Ballyhoo by Alfred Uhry

Sunny Frietag:

Everyone I know has a Christmas tree. It doesnt mean were not Jewish. Look, I could call myself Sunny OHoulihan and everyone around here would still know exactly what I am. Listen, the summer between sixth and seventh grade my best friend was Alice Sizemore. And one day she took me swimming at the Venetian Club Pool. Her parents were members. So we were with a whole bunch of kids from our class and the boys were splashing us and we were all shrieking, you know, and pretending we hated it, when this man in a shirt and tie came over and squatted down by the side of the pool and he said "Which one is Sunny Frietag?" and I said I was, and he said I had to get out of the water. And Alice asked him why and he said Jews werent allowed to swim in the Venetian Pool. And all the kids got very quiet, and none of them would look at me. So, I got out of the pool and phoned Daddy at his office. When he came to get me all the colour was drained out of his lips.

From Catholic School Girls by Casey Kurtti

Okay, everybody. This is church. This is God's house. If you ever have to talk to him, just come right in and kneel down in one of these long chairs and start talking. But not too loud. In here you have to be real quiet. You might wake up the statues and they are praying to Jesus. (Bows her head.) Oh, I forgot to tell you something. Whenever you hear the name "Jesus" (bows) you have to bow your head or else you have a sin on your soul. Now, over there is the statue of Jesus' mother. Her name is The Blessed Virgin Mary. She is not as important as Jesus (bows), so you don't have to bow your head when you hear her name. All the girls sit on her side when they go to mass. Over there is statue Jesus' father. (Bows.) Hey, you forgot to bow your head. Don't do that 'cause you'll have a black spot on your soul and you'll go straight to hell. Now in hell, it is real hot and you sweat a lot and little devils come and bite you all over. If you are real good, you get to go to Heaven. The best thing about Heaven is that you get to meet anyone you want. Let's say I wanted to meet Joan of Arc- no, no... Cleopatra. I would go to one of the saints and he would give me a permission slip and I would fill it out and take it to Jesus. (Bows.) Hey, you didn't bow your head. Okay, I warned you. Then I would fly across Heaven, 'cause when you get in, they give you wings, and I would have a chat with Cleopatra. The only thing is that I hope everyone gets accepted into Heaven or else I would never see them again. Oh one more thing: if you ever ask Jesus a question and he answers you, make sure write down the answer real quick so you don't mess it up. Because if you mess up an answer from him (points up) you're gonna be in big trouble.

Gods First Pick

from The Good Times Are Killing Me by Lynda Barry

Edna (a 12 year-old girl): The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music was the first best movie I ever saw and the first best music I ever heard. All I ever wanted to be in life was the star of that show. Someone who sang like a record and ran and twirled in the mountains Someone so perfect that even the nuns couldnt understand her. Someone who said, Big Deal! to the Germans and risked her life to save the sad children she was babysitting and then their gorgeous rich handsome father who thought his whole life was wrecked, is now so happy and so thankful that he forgets all about his dead wife and then falls madly in love with me. Me..! Beautiful me with the accent who can sing so beautifully that everybody knows I am Gods first pick no contest. Sometimes when Im trying to fall asleep at night, I remember that song. I just lie there and stare at the silver spot coming through our bedroom curtains. My little sister Lucy told me one time that she used to think that street light was in reality, God. I dont see how she can even stand to admit that. Shes a lot different than me and its not just because Im older. I could always tell the difference between God and a street light.

MY BROTHER
Lucy: I always wanted a little sister. I can remember when I was eight I went around telling all my friends that I was getting a sister. One of them must have told her mother and it made its way back to my mother and I got in trouble for lying. But nobody ever bothered to ask why I had lied. I saw my friends with their sisters. And I wanted that. My friend Elsa was always making up plays with her sister, and then performing them for their parents. They even charged admission once. I just wanted - a partner. Anyway, when I was ten - the great miracle happened. My parents told me they were having a baby. They looked like they had been run over by a truck. Definitely an accident. But I didnt care. Accident or not, I was getting a sister. So I planned and I prepared. I secretly spent my allowance money on stuff for the baby - toys, lollipops and even a little pink outfit with lace and ruffles around the collar. I stashed it all away under my bed, just waiting for the big day. Well, of course, it finally arrived. 9:00pm - Thursday, March 18. My parents went to the hospital and I went to Elsas house. Every time the phone rang, my heart skipped a beat. It was the next morning when my father finally called. I heard Elsas mother - Oh, thats just so wonderful. And theyre both okay? Oh, Lucy will be so excited. Have you chosen a name? Jeffrey. What a beautiful name. Jeffrey? Theyre naming my sister Jeffrey? How cruel can they be? (a long beat while she mulls this over) Jeffrey is two years old now. Hes okay I guess. One night, when he was still a baby, I snuck into his room and slipped the little pink outfit on him. He looked cute as a sister. I took a picture too, so someday, when I really need something from him, Ill have bribery material. Lately, Jeffrey and I have been bonding over Sesame Street. He was really into Big Bird until I explained the finer points of Grover. Now, hes crazy for Grover He seems to think that I know everything. See...my brother is shaping up to be a pretty good partner.

THE VEGETARIAN
Gayle The other day, my mom was cleaning a chicken....you know, the dead kind - the kind you eat. Notice, I say "you". That's because I don't eat dead chickens anymore. I don't eat live ones either, of course. I just don't eat chickens. Not after seeing a perfectly shaped chicken just sitting on the kitchen counter getting its last tiny feathers plucked out, just before getting cooked, cut up into pieces and eaten for dinner. It's easy when it's chicken salad - or even chicken wings - if you just never think about where it came from. But, I mean there it was - it looked just like a chicken - just like the kind you see on a farm or in a petting zoo. Except this one was bald. Bald and dead. I just decided right then and there that I couldn't do it. I told my mom "starting right now, I'm a vegetarian!" Without so much as a blink she said "So, should I make you some spinach for dinner tonight?" "What do you mean?" I asked her. Spinach? I hate spinach. It had never occurred to me that vegetarians actually eat vegetables!

The Babysitter
Jackie I couldnt wait to start babysitting. I had been watching my younger brother for so long - I was definitely ready to turn pro. My first job was for two little girls - five and eight. Their parents both worked full time and so when Saturday nigh came around - they were ready for a night out of fun. And, for them, fun didnt include the kids. Great for me, right? I got a job out of it. But those kids were so lonely for their parents. They had a babysitter all week long and then, on the weekends - they got me. I was the last person they wanted to see when Saturday night rolled around. So, as soon as their parents would leave, they would begin to torture me. It started out as little things - telling me all the wrong information like whose room was whose or that, in their family, for Saturdays dinner, it was traditional to eat only - Cheese Doodles. Then they started using the second phone line to make prank calls to me. They even sent a scary fax once - since when do eight year olds know how to work a fax machine? Then, on my fifth time babysitting, they asked me to find a game all the way in the back of the closet and they locked me in. I could hear them cracking up for the longest time. I banged and screamed and threatened them with everything I could think of but, really, I was at a pretty severe disadvantage. So I just sat there and listened. They watched TV for a while and played some games. I heard the older one tell her sister not to worry, that Mom and Dad were running out of options and there probably wouldnt be another babysitter. But, then it got quiet. I guess they fell asleep. And eventually, so did I. If theres one thing worse than having the people youre babysitting for find you asleep on the couch, its having them find you asleep in the closet. It was pretty humiliating. I never went back. But I think about them a lot. I wonder how many babysitters their parents found asleep in the closet before they decided to spend Saturday nights at home. Or if they ever did. Anyway, my babysitting career has been going much better since then. I guess the one good thing about being locked in a closet is - theres nowhere to go but up!

Luisa from A Letter from Luisa I saw Jane again today, and she asked me how this letter was going. (Yep, twice a week now. They must think Im really nuts!) I think Ive just figured out what shes on about. She thinks this is all about you. Well shes wrong. Its no big deal. Not any more, anyway. I mean were talking three years ago so, you know, Im over it. Poor old Nina though, I think she still finds it really hard. Sometimes I hear her crying in her room and once I heard this noise in the middle of the night and I got up to see what it was and there was Nina sitting on the kitchen floor pulling all the junk out from under the sink. When I asked her what she was doing she said to me, Mums sick. She needs some medicine. Im just looking for some medicine. I was so freaked out, it took me a while to realize that she was sleep-walking and then I got even more freaked out by the fact that she was talking to me while she was asleep. Anyway I told her that Id already found some medicine and everything was alright and then I kind of steered her back to her room. She climbed into bed and went straight to sleep and the next morning when I asked her about it she didnt remember a thing. Nina was about ten when that happened. You know, we used to fight all the time when we were little. She was always going through my stuff and finding out all my secrets and things like that. I used to think she was a real pain but now I sort of feel responsible for her, like its my job to look after her. I mean, Dad tries to be organized but he is pretty hopeless. Its not really his fault, though. He works really hard and sometimes if theres a really tight deadline he even has to work on the weekends. So it makes sense that I have to keep things going at home cooking and washing and cleaning and all that stuff. I mean the place would just fall apart if I didnt. Someones got to take charge otherwise wed all starve to death and have to go to school naked.

Erin from My Life and Other Catastrophes Ok, let me get one thing straight. This is not going to turn into Bridget Jones Diary. I dont know what Im supposed to be writing in this stupid thing but I can tell you right now youre not going to get any personal stuff. Mrs Parisi shes my English teacher said that this is simply supposed to be an exercise in self-expression and even though we have to hand these diaries in at the end of the year, no-one is actually going to read them. Like Im going to fall for that one! About Bridget Jones Dairy. I didnt read the books but I saw the movies. What a loser. As if anyone couldnt tell that Hugh Grant was the sleazebag and Mr Darcy was the nice guy even if he did have terrible taste in jumpers. Actually, the thing that I hated most about those movies apart from the fact that we were supposed to believe a. that Renee whats-her-face was fat, and b. that men secretly like ginormous underwear on women is that they perpetuate the myth that for every sleazebag there is a nice guy hanging around just waiting to be noticed by the heroine. Yeah right! Ok just to prove a point here, lets take a random sample of men in my life and see what happens. 1. Dad. Currently engaged in WWIII with ex-wife, my mother. Unemployed, unmotivated and unbelievably tragic. Sees his kids once a fortnight but cant actually afford to take us anywhere we want to go. 2. Chris the Creep, Creepazoid, the Creepster: Mums new boyfriend. The name says it all really. Also teaches PE at Wilga Heights so not only do I have to watch him smooching my mother at home like a wrinkled old Romeo, I have to attend his seriously torturous PE classes as well. Honestly, its like being in the army or something! 3. Sucky Little Brother, Ben: Not enough room in this diary to explain whats wrong with him. So you see what I mean. If my life was a multi-million dollar box-office blockbuster (Ha!) there is not the slightest possibility that one of these prime specimens would turn out to be the nice guy.