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To Tica or not to tica...

Ask any backpacker about the public transportation system in Central America and they will probably respond with a sardonic laugh. Hot, sweaty chicken buses, cramped mini-buses and open-air truck beds are the most accessible modes around but comfort and timeliness are not included in their cheap fare. But thanks to the Costa Rican based TICA BUS, transportation is receiving a pricey upgrade! Offering a variety of direct, long-distance bus services between Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala, TICA Bus has clenched the young, backpacker market with luxuries such as: 1. Legit Pick Ups Instead of making extra money by picking up every Tom, Dick and Harry on the side of the road,TICA sells seats by reservation ONLY. When every seat is full, so is the bus. 2. In Flight Services TICA bus attendants stay with passengers for the duration of their journey, meaning all promised in-flight services are delivered. Services first include entertainment by way of music and movies. Granted, most movies blare 20 decibels louder then necessary in crazy fast Spanish but they do a least provide road trip stimulus. Another service, in flight meals. Placed on seat back tray tables, meals are delivered in thin styrofoam boxes with a side of lukewarm off-brand cola. 3. Air Conditioning - Theres nothing better then stepping out of the sweltering Central America heat and into a cooler on wheels. Especially on those long, multiple-country, multiple-hour trips when bodily smells can grow extremely ripe. 4. Reclining seats with ample leg oom - For tall gringos and gringas that extra leg room can spell the difference between hours of stagnancy induced pins and needles or fully stretched out, fully functional limbs. 5. Toilet Im sure every one of you has found yourself cursing that pre- bus journey soda or beer. Crossing your legs tightly and avoiding further hydration for fear of an embarassing accident. Thankfully, TICA provides an on board toilet. Now dont get me wrong, the toilet is nothing to write home about, but it is a welcome relief (literally). But these are only minor amenities compared to TICAs greatest selling pointassisted border crossings. Taking all the guesswork out of an often confusing and laborious process, TICA attempts to hasten and smooth the process. TICA employees first round up all passenger passports for a bulk country exit. Passengers remain on the comfortably air-conditioned coach while TICA

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attendants slip through a customs VIP backdoor. An expedited stamping process ensues and attendants soon return to the bus victorious. Now I know, I know, never give your passport to a stranger but in the case of TICA, faith must be granted.

After passengers have been stamped out of one country, they must cross the proverbial, No mans land - that funny middle ground between stamped out of one country but not yet into the next. Passports are redistributed and passengers hustle into an immigration line. But not just any immigration line - a TICA line. Taking precedence over independent travelers who have been waiting in line for hours, TICA passengers join a flanking line, causing more then a few angry glares. No doubt a bit of palm greasing is at play, but again, thats what youre paying for. Okay, so weve discussed the good but how about the bad?

Well, as wonderful as the assisted border crossings can be, they dont come issue free. Just imagine waiting for 50+ passengers to receive an immigration stamp instead of just yourself? Sure, you might be in an expedited TICA line, but you still have to wait for a busload of others. More often then not, its quicker to fly solo. Then there are the in flight meals. They are, of course, edible, but as for flavorwhat flavor? Lukewarm gallo pinto (rice and beans) with a piece of greasy fried chicken slopped over mushy tortillas is not necessarily my idea of a luxurious meal. Then again, maybe a breakfast hot dog slathered in a secret sauce is more to your liking?

As for that air-conBRRR!! Be sure to have a sweatshirt and sleeping bag handy, as these mobile refrigerators resemble more of a freezer. And the worst part of allelephantitus of the legs! Not moving for hours on end does nothing for ones figure goodbye bird legs hello cankles!! End of the day, the service is still leagues above the others, but are the amenities worth the inflated price tag? Consider a trip from San Jose, Costa Rica to San Salvador. Estimated around 22 hours, the journey includes 3 meals, a litany of ridiculous movies, 2 assisted border crossings and a handful of potty break stops. The price, a hefty 70 USD. The same journey via local chicken bus would have required 6 different buses, solo border crossings, no meals, and closer to 30 Hours of travel. The cost, around 30 USD. My grandma always said, a penny saved is a penny earned, and 40 USD saved in Central America equals 7 nights accommodation, 2 scuba dives in Honduras, or 20 Liter Beers on the beach. And saving money is just the beginning. Chicken buses also provide a cultural experience that TICA does not. Sitting next to an IPOD/IPAD crazed American college kid or a smiley Nicaragua Senora, her three kids and a chicken dinner still squawking away on her lap provide just slightly different experiences. I want the cramped quarters and the feeling of sweat rolling out my every pore. I want the smell of exhaust pumping out of the overworked engine and into my adept traveler lungs. I want the crazy religious man boarding the bus asking for money and the pharmaceutical dude selling bottles of pills for your every ailment. I want the pushy food vendors squeezing onto the bus and selling everything from fresh pineapple to hardly FDA approved chicken legs. But most of all, I want culture! I want to know I am in a country, not just watching it on Discovery! That, is TICA's biggest downfall.

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So back to my original questionto TICA or not? There is no doubt, TICA has revolutionized transportation in Central America but it has also taken the fun out of traveling. The 4 chicken buses it once took to cross a country, the hilarious border stories of elbows flying and passports being shoved through customs windows and the almost missed bus connections traded for comfort and ease. Then again, Im a hypocrite. I boarded TICA as an experiment, to research the differences. But as I sit here in my comfy, air-conditioned bus, a waiting a dinner of Burger King cheeseburgers and Orange Fanta, I find it hard to imagine choosing the other option. 20 hours down, 2 to go. El Salvador or Bust!!

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