The 7 Ways of Highly Effective Alcoholics (The paradigm shifting ways to a miserable life)

By

Albert Pilsner

Copyright 2012 by Albert Pilsner www.thealcoholicbrewmaster.com al@tabrewmaster.com

These stories are works of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the authors imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from Albert Pilsner.

Cover art by Carole Stoutt www.hopwater.com

Dedication

Dedicated to all those on the front lines fighting for what they believe to be true; may perseverance and the Guiding Light help them win.

Table of Contents

Dedication Live in the past Keep lying Never quit No help needed, thank you Never forgive (or ask for it!) Relish resentments Stop church or spirituality About the author

I thought I was the only one who ever visited the past. After I got done visiting the past, I decided to revisit it. I kept feeling the hurt all over again and again and after a time the pain was all I had left. It comforted me in a strange way and helped me to become a highly effective alcoholic. James Bauer

Live in the past

The best way to become a Highly Effective Alcoholic (HEA) is to live in the past. Replay your mistakes over and over again. Relive the consequential pain of bad decisions and continuously blame yourself. This step is so effective it will get you on the high road to alcoholism quickly and is extremely effective in keeping you an alcoholic for a long time. Yes, the past is over and you cant change it, but you can embrace the memory of the past and constantly replay the situation with different scenarios. The what if game is a powerful tool for staying in the past and becoming a HEA. Say to yourself (or others who will listen) What if I didnt say that or What if I would have accepted that job or What if I didnt buy this house or any number of possible mistakes you made that you would change if you could. Hegel wrote, "The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk." In the same way you should realize that hindsight is 20/20 and if you had your druthers the past would most certainly have been changed to your advantage. However, you dont have the power to rewrite history to accommodate your fancy. So you need to deal with it. But how? The what if questions demand an answer! Respond to those very questions by conjuring up the most imaginative answers your finite mind can muster regardless of the validity of your responses (are any of us truly realistic?). In other words, greatly exaggerate the outcome of a what if scenario. For example, lets imagine interviewing with the DEA. You are qualified to receive the position as an agent and before you make it a fait accompli you blurt out with wide-eye eagerness and a sly smile, I really get to carry a gun? This is after asking the DEA interviewers about learning how to make a crystal meth lab. In hindsight (the owl of minerva flies at dusk!) probably not the best questions to ask. Coupled with your psychotic enthusiasm and zeal for firearms such questions would likely result in rejection of an offer as a newly minted DEA agent. Upon reflection, you cant erase those spoken questions leading to the subsequent rejection from the DEA but you can most certainly replay it over and over in the mind! Relive it like this (the greater the exaggerated outcome the better): If I did not ask those stupid questions I would have received the job as a DEA agent with a huge government salary and pension. I would have been set for life! I would have also received a lifetime job with no possibility of being fired and having to concern myself with updating my resume. If you dont feel the pain yet continue, My family would be on secure footing and they would receive all the amenities this world has to offer including summer trips to Lake Tahoe, a quaint cottage in Michigan with a rowboat for bonding with my children while fishing for wide mouthed bass and a speedboat for jubilant family tubing time. You should start to feel a gray cloud forming above you with the forecast of depression in the very near future. But continue on, I could have taken the family on vacations to Colorado during the winter time for skiing, treated them to candlelit dinners and concerts of all varieties depending only on whatever strikes our fancy at the time. Remind yourself regularly that all this is lost because of your dumb questions during the interview. Be of good cheer you can stay on the road to alcoholism. You can be the most effective alcoholic. You can stay in the past! Just have the courage to stay stuck in the past. You will find many people trying to peddle hope. Usually these are religious people who are bent for your destruction as a HEA. They will say to your face that they do not wish for you to become an effective alcoholic! Can you believe the audacity of these people? These people truly do exist. They use such words as God, powerful, hope, Jesus, forgiveness, until your eyes roll back into your head. Just ignore them and focus on your past mistakes again. Replay the past in your mind as you listen to the spiritual person (merely seeing their lips move while concentrating on your past mistakes). My experience has shown that it commendably keeps my past failures locked in the past. I know a man, ( near rock bottom, the location we long for!), who went from job to job ; job-hopping is common among HEAs. This man was lost and dazed with a newborn on the way (almost a dreamlike position to find oneself in!). His marriage was strained, which was advantageous, for if it werent there would be a slight chance at recovery; forever releasing him from the despair that every alcoholic holds in high esteem as a constant companion. This man did, indeed, try to fight the bottle, but he had to do it drunk. Fortunately he always lost and maintained his status as a HEA. Suddenly an escape appeared in the horizon and the man was granted an interview in his home state for a highly respected chemical company. At the time, he was living in a Midwestern state that he totally despised and this caused him to drink excessively. Now it seemed all his excessive drinking would change when the chemical company offered him the sales position after he successfully completed two in-house interviews. The man went about negotiating the offer, believing like a good drunk, that they would want to see his negotiating skills. It was at the height of the recession and this stolid man finally showed some emotion and became upset when the chemical company rescinded the offer. It was the best possible outcome this man could have hoped for because it kept him a lush and an extremely effective one at that. He spent countless hours in a darkened basement, paralyzed with fear on a couch, escaping to dreamland for solace. The man slept and drank and kept replaying his idiotic attempt to negotiate a job offer from a respectable chemical company in his home state during the height of a recession. He contemplated suicide and this is not an unusual fate for the effective alcoholic nor is jail, hospitalization, or death. The important point to stress is that the man kept reliving his mistakes and constructed new responses; What if I didnt try to negotiate? Or Why didnt I just accept it? Or Who did I think I am? This experience catapulted the man eons ahead of his fellow lushes as he forever settled into his alcoholism. To this day, eight years later, he still holds on to this memory, beating himself up mercilessly until he has had enough to pass out. This, my friends, is a rare and extremely effective alcoholic. He was on the fast track to success as an effective drunkard. I know he would feel his life has served a purpose if he has helped anyone become a HEA. Its about fastening on to habits that will lead to successful drunkenness and ways of looking at yourself in a new light of successful alcoholism. Only about 10% of the population will ever attain the level of effective alcoholism. An integral ingredient to reaching this elite group is by living in the past landscapes of failure, misdeeds, mistakes, sins (as the religious like to say) of yesterday. It is my hope one day to have the ability to record our thoughts onto a DVD to be shown again and again. This technology would afford us the ease of replaying our faults whenever and wherever we happen to be. One caveat needs to be mentioned here. Losing memories of certain events ("blacking out) is a liability of every HEA. It has been shown through the annals of history that every highly effective alcoholic has an abundance of painful memories and losing a few memories (casualties of war), although undesirable, has a negligible effect on the total past painful experiences of the HEA.

If I lie it is because I dont know how to tell the truth. Nobody ever taught me so I just picked up lying as a way of life. Its neat because I can sculpt an imaginary world with real people who after a time and many lies later become participants in my make-believe land. Ive found it useful when I drink and the tales get better each new day. I lie because I know no other way.

Susan Davis

Keep lying
If you have lied in the past about your drinking continue to do so. Lying about your drinking habits sets you on the fast track to alcoholism. Remember others dont have your best interest in mind; they are simply out to get you. You need to look out for yourself only (see Charles Darwin Origin of Species). If others had your work schedule, or if others had your wife, or if others had your childrenthen they would drink too! The list could go on ad infinitum and countless people will tell you they are trying to help you. That is pure bunk. Watch out if you ever hear this. They are not trying to help you. Rather the do-gooders are trying to pry into your life and know your business. If they know your business then they will have the upper hand on you and the ability to manipulate you. Do you really want that? I found the most effective way to appease these bad intentioned people is to lie to them. Make up whatever is necessary so you can continue on the road to alcoholism. If they ask you if you have been drinking simply say no. If they ask what you did during the day, tell them nothing. Note: You should have been drinking throughout the day. To become a Highly Effective Alcoholic, anytime of the day is a good time to drink. Your problems are not going to go away. In fact, the problems will seem to compound. This is an illusion and this is where the lie becomes so effectual. You should lie even when the truth will serve you better. My friends, if you can live this mantra, it will be a sure sign to the prosperous alcoholic life. The truth is restrictive in only that it comes in one flavor. The lie, however, gives you a veritable cornucopia. You always have the little white lie like Yes, I had two beers. The common fib- No, I didnt drink or the self-delusional lie I dont have a problem so I can have a few seem to work wonders on becoming a palmy alcoholic. The most effective lie is the one with some truth mixed in it; this lie rings some truth in the listeners ears and gives the untruth some credibility. Some of the most convincing liars are convincing, precisely because theyre not consciously aware (or only partially aware) of the untrue nature of their communication. Of course, theres another philosophical question here: if I tell you something that is false, but which I firmly believe is true, am I telling truth (its true to me)? or untruth (the more objective or at least consensual reality)? Remember, what is true for you may not be true for others (moral relativism). Use this truth/untruth mix often if people feel it is their business to invade your personal life. People should mind their own business about your drinking and stop telling you what to do. If this means you have to lie to accomplish this goal and become the most HEA in the world, then keep on lying! My friend Steve was an extremely talented liar and drunk; I never knew when he was telling the truth or lying. He masterfully wrapped an untruth into the truth. He once told me he owned a cottage on Lake Michigan in Alpena, MI. He also owned a million dollar house in Traverse City, MI and had pictures to back it up. He was gone frequently and a mutual friend from Alpena vouched he was, indeed, from Alpena. They went to high school together, although Steve was a few grades behind our mutual friend. Maybe he did have this house! But we both worked at the same measly job and I was earning only enough to afford rent on a cheap one bedroom apartment. His parents werent rich because I met them on their many visits to see Steve, their only son. The constant refrain echoed was Well never retire. We plan on working until we die. Unless Stevo here makes it big someday! Steve insisted that he had a lucrative drug business (I did witness the luscious marijuana plants he grew in his basement) and that business has allowed him to stow away large amounts of cash. He added, As Einstein says, the greatest force in the world is compound interest. I never planned to go to Alpena or Traverse City so checking out his cottage or million dollar home would not be verified or disproven by me. When I approached our mutual friend he simply shrugged and said I wouldnt put anything past him. He was in on it with Steve. That was truly how elaborate Steve had become at weaving lies. It boggled my mind how he kept it all straight. But he did, and needless to say, Steve has become one of the most successful alcoholics of all time. Remember to try and lie as much as possible, and if you can handle intricate lies that layer and interweave with the truth like Steve, you too, will be a highly effective alcoholic, and Ill see you one day at the top.

My father always told me that winners never quit and quitters never win. I believed in that statement and applied it constantly throughout my life. But life didnt turn out the way I had planned. Though I never quit anything, life still threw me a raw deal. My sights were set on becoming the best damn effective alcoholic in the world. I have arrived! I never quit drinking and have been catapulted to the upper echelon of highly effective drunkards. Chuck Mangin

Never quit
Admit you still have power to quit whenever you feel like it. You just dont want to quit right now. I dont know how many times people told me I should slow down on my drinking or even quit it entirely. I told them that I had been a quitter all my life and now that I finally found something I was good at they wanted me to quit! No way will I ever quit and I am telling you the same- NEVER quit! The only valid excuse you have to give up is if you are dead. As long as you are alive (and drinking) you have the choice to keep trying until you finally succeed. There will be times when every muscle, every nerve ending in your body will scream for you to quit but that is the moment you must absolve never to stop trying. There will be mornings that your head is thumping like a hammer whacked thumb- NEVER quit! There will be mornings that every last stomach muscle is strained from throwing up all night - NEVER quit! There will be days that you shake uncontrollably because you cant get a drink in you fast enough- NEVER quit! You must never give up on yourself. You will get that drink soon enough. Your stomach muscles are only getting stronger. Your head has not had that kind of mental workout since studying all night before your college final exams. It may seem bad now but this too shall pass. Your halcyon days to becoming a Highly Effective Alcoholic are just ahead! You have the power! The chance of mastering something the first time you do it is almost nonexistent. Everything takes time to learn and you will make mistakes. Learn from them. You must remind yourself that you are getting better with every drink you take. You are the master over the alcohol. You can quit anytime you want but you dont want to quit! You are not a quitter! Quitters never win and winners never quit. Michael Jordan, arguably the best basketball player of all time, attributes his success to all his failures. He never gave up even when he knew he missed over 300 shots and missed the game winning shot many times. Every time he got knocked down he got back up again. You must drink those shots! The winning shot is the one that passes you out; upon awakening (with an intense headache) you must ask yourself Did I hit the winning shot last night? If you remember taking the shot, you probably didnt make the winning shot. But dont lose hope there is always tonight! You have not been defeated by alcohol. You are not powerless. Rise up and resist the demands that alcohol places on you. You are an overcomer, a victor, powerful and full of strength. Your strength has flowered and sustained itself through the admission that you are more powerful than alcohol and that your life is increasingly in your control. I dont have an uncontrollable urge that dictates my life and neither do you. I am a HEA and given time and strict adherence to these seven principles you, too, may relish the life of a Highly Effective Alcoholic. A word of caution here-

youll feel like a salmon swimming upstream all the time. This will not be seasonal work. The world around you will be constantly attempting to change your thinking. They will say euphemistic phrases such as stinking thinking, change your thinking, change YOU or you are what you think about all day long (this one can work to your advantage- just think like an alcoholic!). Nearly all people will confront you- not just a few. You may find a kindred spirit and when you do hold on because that person is a rare individual that will propel you to greater heights. The notion that a Higher Power may be enough to help you will be used by some people. This is just a cleverly disguised way of saying God will help you. Your first question should be Help me with what? Youll hear rambling about attaining your goal as a Highly Effective Alcoholic and that it is causing serious repercussions in your life and others. Then they will drop the bombshell, the dream crusher, the hope smasher and tell you to quit. Plant your feet, stand your ground, and let that great wind of negativity just pass you by, knowing full well that you are closer to your goal than you were a minute ago. You are heading in the right direction. There will always be haters (people who hate what you are trying to achieve). There will always be plenty of naysayers and people who try to tear you down. Dont pay attention to them and dont take what they say to heart. Let the haters hate and you keep believing in yourself. Let the negative people energize you by zapping you with the knowledge that you are becoming better, that you are moving in on your goal, that you are becoming a HEA. Bravo! My close friend, Charlie Galeno, once told me to study the record of anyone who achieves noteworthy success, and I will observe that they have complete control over their own mind, moreover, they exercise that control and direct it toward the attainment of definite objectives. Without this control, Charlie says, success is not possible. His statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I set my mind on attaining the principles I have outlined here and sure enough I had reached my objectives. I was in control and a successful alcoholic! I dont mean to be a braggadocio; my intent is to point you in this very same direction. You can achieve the same level of success! If I became a HEA, then by all means, you can too! You may acquire help through the information in this book or from someone who has been there before, or experience it, like Charlie. Charlie feels responsible for my success saying, A successful leader must be willing to assume responsibility for the mistakes and the shortcomings of his followers. Charlie teared up one time when he told me he lost one of his followers to AA and another to Jesus Christ! Charlie believed if he tried to shift the responsibility for the shortcomings of his followers, he would not remain their leader. If even one of his followers makes a mistake, and shows himself incompetent, Charlie must consider that it is he who failed. I could feel his pain. Charlie is a fountain of knowledge and his willingness to pass it on is commendable. However, he feels it is an obligation and I am fortunate to have made his acquaintance in a dank, dark bar on the South side of Chicago one blustery, February evening. I feel the same compulsion to share my ways to become a HEA and it is to this end that I will doggedly pursue every avenue, alley, and highway to carry the message. An unsettled mind is helpless. Indecision makes a mind unsettled. Decide, right now, to never quit!

I was always told asking for help was to show weakness. Never ask for help so help you God! I live by self-propulsion relying on my self-will only. I found if we help ourselves then we dont need anybody. Ive done okay. It gets a bit lonely at times but I dont have the hassles, the wants, which those needy, selfish help seekers are always struggling to get. Give it a rest and pick yourself up by your bootstraps, man. Tom Cribb

No help needed, thank you

Deny people who attempt to get you help. They do not know what you are going through and the pain you feel. Tell them that pain is the touchstone of growth. You are growing and soon youll realize (be it slowly or quickly) that you are becoming a better, highly effective alcoholic. Never let them say otherwise. God made all of us unique. No two people are the same or have the same fingerprints. I believe we are all absolutely special and individual and when we were born, the mold was broken, never to be used again. How, then, could anyone ever possibly know the pain you have had to endure? How can anyone know the pain you are going through right now? Nobody can know and the sooner you realize this fact the sooner you will become a HEA. There are billions and billions of cells in your body and yet no person has your exact billions and billions of cells (like the stars in the heavens no two are exactly the same). Who are they to tell you that help is needed for your condition? My condition? If God made you a one of a kind human being, then what condition needs helping? You are fearfully and wonderfully made. If someone is bold enough to ever offer help, you want to relive the pain in the past as suggested in step #1. You are the only one who can relive that pain. And it is truly painful. If your friends told you of your painful situation would they feel the pain like you? Absolutely not! Yet they want to help you with this pain? They dont even know what this pain feels like! Only you do. Keep the faith that the pain you are feeling is your pain alone and nobody else has any idea of the degree, depth, or magnitude of your pain. Remember that it is through the furnace of pain that we are refined. Deny any and all attempts of your friends to get you help. They have no clue as to what you are going through. Only alcohol will numb the pain and bring you a tenable situation. Remember that pain doesnt weaken you but only makes you stronger and will get you closer to your goal of becoming a HEA. What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger (quote from Frederich Nietzsche in his book, Twilight of Idols). The pain you feel will turn you to the bottle faster than the speed of light. Do not become discouraged when pain enters your life but rather be encouraged because it means you are closer to becoming a Highly Effective Alcoholic. Self-will brings this pain and serves as an efficacious tool to build a gateway to pain. There is one virtue that I love and only one; self-will. I cannot bring myself to think so highly of the many virtues we read about in books and hear about from our teachers. True all the virtues man has devised for himself might be subsumed under a single head: obedience. But the question is: Who are we to obey? For selfwill is also obedience. All the other virtues (the virtues that are so highly esteemed and praised) consist in obedience to manmade laws. Self-will is the only virtue that takes no account of these laws. A self-willed man obeys a different law, the one law I hold absolutely sacred- the law in himself, his own "will." Fred Hodge told me of a gentleman that was recruited by AA and was offered all kinds of help from former drunks and, presumably, even a few highly effective alcoholics! Fred said that Tom D. received help 24/7 with members at the Alano Club, a phone network, and even a sponsor (a close contact that guides an individual through those 12 Steps)! Tom D. became so entrenched in the fellowship that he sought out individuals to help and even went so far as to try and strip HEAs of that very title they worked so hard to gain. It developed into a serious problem when Tom D. became so grateful to what had been given so freely to him. Tom D. -infused with a newfound evangelicalism for saving drunkards from a sure effectiveness as an alcoholic- went out freely passing the message to others who suffered the very same affliction. A time-out must be taken here. As stated early in this chapter people will try to twist the truth and sadly, Tom D. accepted the twisted truth and fell in with a cult. The brainwashing techniques of cults are infamous and yet people still seem to get sucked into them. Fred Hodge (not associated with any fellowship) will surely testify, Tom D. never suffered from any affliction. In fact, Tom D. was on the path of enlightenment, having successfully incorporated at least four of the seven Ways outlined here in this book. Lets take an inventory (as they say) of Tom D.s life before his indoctrination into the cult:

1. Tom D. supposedly had a gambling problem (Big deal! Don t get me going on that!) and it cost him his marriage and relationship with his two young sons. He kept blaming himself and regretting the mistakes he made; he kept reliving the past. 2. To keep gambling and drinking alive h e n e e d e d t o s p i n a web that he continually weaved when he first set out to d e c e i v e. Tom D. was a commendable liar and I marvel at his ability to keep so many lies in the air with the ability to juggle them like a pro. 3. T o m D . s mind was set on never quitting his drinking (or gambling) and he frequently had fights with his wife and children (who were always afraid of him) insisting that he would keep drinking until his dying day and nobody would ever tell him to do otherwise. Ever! 4. When offered help on previous occasions, Tom D. chuckled at the people willing to tend to his needs. He rolled his eyes and continuously told them T h a n k s , b u t I d o n t n e e d a n y h e l p. One time his wife turned to the Alano Club to have a few former drunks talk to him. Tom D. was enraged when they showed up at his door (about a half an hour later) but knowing the intricacies of social behavior, he invited them in. The former lushes told him their stories and how alcohol had affected their lives and, how they were headed toward becoming highly effective alcoholics, and thankfully s i d e t r a c k e d ( t h e y d i s g u i s e d w h e r e t h e y w e r e h e a d e d w i t h w o r d s l i k e prison, insane asylum or death) . It should be clear from Tom D.s inventory that he was exactly where he was supposed to be! If he could have stayed the course that lay before him and fought the good fight, I have no doubt he would have achieved Ways 5,6 & 7, releasing Tom D. to the pinnacle of his life; the life of a HEA (and gambler too!). A sad note to report here folks: Around the time Tom D. was brainwashed by his drunkard cult and lost any chance of becoming a highly effective alcoholic, our mutual friend, Fred Hodge, died tragically at 51 of cirrhosis of the liver.

The weak can always forgive. Never forgiving is an attribute of the strong. I believe forgiveness is over rated. Who can really ever forgive when their 8year old daughter was raped and murdered by a pederast? The simplistic you can choose not to forget but for your own good you should forgive. That is the most self-righteous talk I've ever heard. People who say that are full of used food. Stay strong and conquer the beast with unforgiveness! Karl Gunning

Never forgive (or ask for it!)

Brian is a family man. He has a beautiful wife and three lovely children. Unfortunately, Brian is still married and has a great relationship with his children. At one time Brian was on the path to greatness, one of the few extremely effective alcoholics until he made one of the biggest mistakes a person could possibly make. He forgave, and even graver, he asked for forgiveness. It has been shown conclusively that forgiveness does more to impede the progress of a HEA than any other single attribute. Stay clear of forgiveness. To err is human; to forgive is death. The best advice given to me regarding forgiveness is to never find fault in yourself. If you have no faults then forgiveness is unnecessary. Note: This may conflict with a religious belief, but it has been found so destructive to becoming a highly effective alcoholic, that any religious affiliation or spiritual practices must be eliminated (see step #7). The best practice has found that people who admit to no faults of their own ultimately never have to ask for forgiveness. There is no need for confession and certainly no need for repentance. Who are you helping most when you forgive the person who hurt you? Nobody you're not helping yourself any more than the other person. You may view forgiving people who hurt you as being really easy. Unforgiveness is extremely difficult. For example, you had been hurt terribly; the old way of thinking advocates forgiving the people so you can heal. However, forgiving people who hurt you, fails to keep you in bondage of resentments. Resentments are goldmines! (A necessity if one wants to be a HEA). You got pain (excellent! See previous Way), and they received freedom without having to pay for the pain they caused (your bitter thoughts of the hurtful acts perpetrated against you is enough). Now you realize that youre helping yourself when you choose to not forgive. Forgiveness is for the weak-minded and offers a formidable obstruction to the HEA. Stay alert at all hours, for people will approach you asking for your forgiveness. I recommend not giving it to them because you will lose the opportunity to recruit them to the prosperous alcoholic life. Unforgiveness is the single most popular poison that will keep you a highly effective alcoholic, and it is one of the deadliest poisons a person can take spiritually. (Spirituality is a great detriment to achieving our goal). Unforgiveness causes everything from mental depression, to health problems (such as cancer and arthritis). If you couple these with your alcoholism all the better! Certainly, not every case of cancer is due to unforgiveness, however, it can cause cancer. Cancer comes from the devil, scientist can't explain it, doctors don't understand where it comes from; it's the symptoms of a curse. You must keep in mind we embrace this curse because it is through these supposed afflictions that we strengthen our identity as prosperous, successful HEAs. Unforgiveness beautifully dovetails with lying, so try to use these two virtues in synergy. Never make amends for past mistakes (just keep reliving them) and whatever you do, stop trying to reconcile your relationships! You will quickly find out you are straying from the path of the alcoholic process. Allow the friendships to sour and forge a wedge of bitterness and unforgiveness that will develop an unpardonable chasm never to be bridged by you and your friends. Forgiveness & honesty cooperate in bringing about an intimidating foe to successful, effective alcoholism. Beware! People from all ages teach us how deeply we depend on others for our own spiritual and emotional health. They say it is essential that we keep the flow of support and love open among ourselves. These spiritual teachers tell us to continually forgive. When we refuse to forgive, we are controlling those who have hurt us by punishing them and thereby protecting ourselves from further harm. Our enemies suffer from our unforgiveness- we claim success for ourselves. The spiritual teachers dont tell you this because they want to help you with your problem and many act so genuine. Protect yourself, hurt those teachers and refuse to forgive them. In unforgiveness we are separated from graces (healing, prayer, worship), we are handed over to tormentors (Bingo! Again right where we need to be). These torturers are not people, but worse. They are experiences such as fear, depression, frustration, anxiety, self-hatred, and loneliness (No better combination of experiences has built a better HEA!). As these and other torturers work you over, you deteriorate to a level of existence which is characterized by fruitless, compulsive, escapist activities (Jolt! An epiphany!). Fortunately we are often mindful of others need to forgive and unmindful of our need to forgive. The beauty of being a highly effective alcoholic is that though we rely on compassion from others, we refuse it to those who have wronged us in some way. This is the way it should remain if you want to finish this course and reach your alcoholic goal. You should imagine yourself to be morally superior. You should act self-righteous and be condescending. You should demand payment, usually through guilt or shame. When you refuse to forgive others, you strangle your relationships. Eureka! More time to spend on the important things in life! The mental and spiritual barriers you erect nourish you and impoverish your friends. You are now beginning to realize at this point that you do not need to depend on others for support and understanding. The way to highly effective alcoholism is a road filled with isolation and self-will. Self-will can availeth you much! A

man endowed with the self-will does not seek money or power. He despises both, but not because he is a paragon of virtue, or a resigned altruist. Far from it! The truth is simply that money, power, and all the possessions for which men torment (and ultimately shoot each other) mean little to one who has come to himself, to a self-willed man (no external support needed; it all arises from inside). He values only one thing- the mysterious power in himself- which bids him, and helps him to grow. This power can be neither preserved nor increased nor deepened by money and power, because money and power are the inventions of distrust. Those who distrust the life-giving force within themselves (self-will), or who have none (spineless, insecure, weak people), are given to compensate through such substitutes as money. When a man has confidence in himself, when all he wants in the world is to live out his destiny in freedom and purity, he comes to regard all those vastly overestimated and far-too-costly possessions as mere accessories; pleasant perhaps to have and make use of, but never essential. How I love the virtue of self-will! Once you have learned to treasure it and discover some parcel of it in yourself, all the most highly commended virtues become strangely questionable. You just have to want it! Do not tolerate others faults, and punish, rather than exonerate, and you will find yourself alone because you have shut yourself off from the healing power of loving forgiveness. Fantastic! Being alone and isolated with your unconquerable self-will is exactly where you want to be headed. A warning here: If you learn to forgive often and freely (not recommended), you will receive mutual love and support in return. This could cause the demise of your expectations as a highly effective alcoholic and possibly perpetuate an essence of love & friendships. This essence would be the death blow to loneliness and bitterness- two key ingredients in the jigger of a HEA. You dont need any support from others because you are a rock, an island, a man or woman onto oneself. If you cant do it, nobody can! Self-reliance will never fail you! Take a look at the results normal people are getting from reliance on other people. We see people everywhere filled with anger and fear, society breaking up into warring factions. Each faction says to the other, "We are right and you are wrong." Every such group, if it is strong enough, self-righteously imposes its will upon the rest (the group should impose its will on others- HEAs do the same!). Everywhere the same thing is being done on an individual basis (The sum of self-willed individuals is greater than any one self-willed person). The incremental addition of these mighty, self-willed efforts mushrooms into an atmosphere of more peace and brotherhood than ever before! The philosophy of self-sufficiency is paying off! Plainly enough, it is not a bone-crushing juggernaut whose final achievement is ruin. It is through self-sufficiency we cross into the higher plain of self-responsibility and accountability to our fellow HEAs. Remember all of your character defects (forgiveness included) separate you from God and your fellowman and this should be top priority. If you ignore your association with God and your fellow man then you get to face the world alone and your climb to effective alcoholism will be buttressed and dependent on self-reliance. You will find security and happiness through self-will and the only result is becoming a highly effective alcoholic. This should encourage you! How often do you hear the opposite? You will hear people scream the pitiful love and tolerance mantra. You must never make this your code. The people who dont understand you will tell you that to forgive others will help you maintain spiritual progress. Oh Whoopee Doo! The objective to becoming a HEA is to have no spiritual progress at all! Look around you and you will find that every great spiritual teacher, including the Spiritual Teacher, has insisted strongly on the importance of forgiving. They will go so far as to say that not only must you forgive in just words, or as a matter of form, but in your heart. Really? My thought is to hold tight to your resentments, anger, or the desire to see someone punished because they will rot your soul otherwise. You must recall your indoctrination to evolution in school. It is survival of the fittest. "This survival of the fittest, which I have here sought to express in mechanical terms, is that which Mr. Darwin has called 'natural selection', or the preservation of favoured races in the struggle for life." (Herbert Spencer, Letter 5140 Wallace, A. R. to Darwin, C. R., 2 July 1866) The favored race, in this case, metaphorically speaking, is the Highly Effective Alcoholic. We are the favored race and in order to preserve our race in this struggle for life we must practice these Ways and propagate the principles (in these 7 Ways) to our children. It has proven to be successful in disseminating evolutionary theory to our children. You must look out for yourself and squash the weak because nature selects only the fittest. Cling to self-motive and clutch your resentments tightly because only relishing anger, ill will, and bitterness will set you above the common man. It isnt the easiest path but anything worth having will be difficult. Such things will fasten your troubles to you with chains and bind you (Swell!). They tie you to other problems that have nothing to do with your original problem (Bully!). Isnt this what we are striving to get? Let me end with this: to become a highly effective alcoholic to not forgive is divine.

Resentments set me free! The bitterness felt throughout your body is the experience of a negative emotion felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done. Resentment can be triggered by an emotionally disturbing experience felt again or relived in the mind. When the person feeling resentment is directing the emotion at themself it appears as remorse. The remorse makes you examine yourself and in so doing you get to cling to the imagined wrongs tighter than the real and it gives you ample ammunition to plot retaliation. Ranklements are liberating! Carrie Kroeger

Relish resentments
You have made it this far, and believe me, you are trudging the road to happy destiny! Just hang in there; you can do it! I know the Ways are not necessarily easy but if they were easy then everybody would be practicing them. You will be among the elite; rarely and unfortunately, does an individual complete all seven Ways. I dont say this to discourage you, but simply to say that if you have implemented the previous five Ways as instructed, I have yet to see an individual fail in becoming the best HEA that s/he can become. It comes down to trusting yourself that you can forge ahead against all obstacles and naysayers (they call themselves well-wishers) to possess the prize that lay ahead of you. I have confidence in you because I, too, have reached the sixth Way and thought to myself Can I really do this? Break those chains that bind you and know deep in your heart that you are unstoppable. You are more than a conqueror; you are a victor! An almost fail-proof way to becoming a HEA is to hold on to your resentments. Nurse them like a newborn. The sixth Way dovetails with the first Way (living in the past) but seems to be more powerful because resentments have the power to lift up more HEAs than anything else. From it, stem all forms of spiritual disease (this is a good thing) because besides being physically and mentally ill the highly effective alcoholic needs to be spiritually sick too. Learn to gloss over your wrongs but be accountable to yourself and get even for all the wrongs done to you (an extensive list). Resentments bar the sunlight of the Spirit from entering your soul. If you continue to relive hurts and hates you will

begin the joyous trek to effective alcoholism. Stay in the dark of resentments and be grateful you even have any resentment. It is the poor man who has no resentments in his heart. Hold on to resentments and be sure to nurse them to complete hatred. Resentment and anger are not toxic (they wont kill you), and often intoxicating (can be euphoric!). Anger (manifestation of resentments) can sometimes act as an antidote to feeling powerless. You can feel really powerful when you are indignant! Resentments (and living in the past) offer a complete success system that will likely guarantee you a productive, satisfying life of alcoholism. If you practice forgiving absolutely nobody, then resentments should maintain their effectiveness in your life. The key to resentments are to mull them over continuously in your mind, repeating often the wrong done to you (imagined or real), never allowing a spirit of forgiveness to engage your mind and slowly, often without your realization, the resentment has blossomed into full blown hatred. From hatred the possibilities are nearly endless for your new, effective life as an alcoholic. The steps work best when practiced together purposefully and persistently to produce a complete, fully functional alcoholic capable of a lifetime of rewards. The time is now and you must act. Hatred without works is useless. You must put these principles into action. I knew a woman named Sarah who had all these principles in her mind. She knew them forward and backwards and could recite the 7 Ways in her sleep. Ive met successful alcoholics who couldnt hold a candle to Sarahs knowledge of the 7 Ways, but unfortunately, Sarah was stuck in a rut. She was not a HEA. Last reported she had a loving family, a house in the Smoky Mountains, and an executive position with a shipping company. This does not have to be you! You can do what Sarah could not do. You can act on these principles. Let the resentment marinate in your mind until it becomes hatred; when you see forgiveness walking your way- turn and run! When someone tells you God has wonderful plans for your future- laugh and ask What has He done for me lately? You dont have to fall into the same traps that many people have succumbed to and lost their objective of being the best and most effective alcoholic. If it is to be, it is up to me! Act now! Remember, my friend, resentments keep you in bondage and this is exactly where you want to be. The rook of kindness is moving to capture the king of ill-will but you skillfully move your queen of resentment and lo and behold you not only saved yourself, but you checkmated your opponent! You are exactly where you need to be. It has been said Anger is a luxury I cannot afford. Pure bunk! Anger is a luxury you can afford because it allows you to focus your attention on only one thingyourself (Great!). Remember when you stubbed your toe or lost your keys or wanted to stomp that gas pedal right through the floorboards when the car wouldn't start? At such moments nothing else in the world was on your mind but your immediate problem. Anger, in that sense, is very much like your mind taking a little vacation. When you take a vacation, you have the luxury of going for a swim or a hike, reading a book, loafing around all day if you desire. Anger is just as enjoyable, and few would deny that it is a satisfying way to "let off steam" when you are really irritated, just as I did with my checkmated adversary who I pathetically crushed with slings and arrows of outrageous rancor. You need to realize that anger is your friend and you can afford this luxury. Without this luxury you are destined to fail as a HEA. Instead, harbor your resentments because they are infinitely useful in achieving your purpose. You need to embrace your anger & resentments because this will lead you to being chained by your negativity with no hope of cutting loose. People will insist that this is backward thinking and that you should get help (see Way #4). They fear you are becoming a slave to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. Duh? What do they think we have been trying to accomplish? You must realize that they dont understand you one iota and being self-centered creatures, they simply want to control you and manipulate you into being something you are not meant to be. I warn you that these very same people will tell you to Let go and let God or There I go but for the grace of God or worse Let go of resentments. They are only killing you. Gibberish. Dont listen. You have a choice today and you can choose to open the door to freedom and rejoice in the sunlight of becoming a highly effective alcoholic, as that choice will cleanse the spirit within you and make you a new creature.

Church isnt for everyone. All I hear about is how bad I am and money. Those churches are always asking for money! Then you hear about the scandals, embezzlement, lying and cheating and you begin to think that they are all missing the point. The preachers are crooked bastards and I dont want nothing to do with them. Anyway, didn't someone say Sunday is a day of rest, but they want me to get up early and dress up? Farmer Quinn

Stop church or spirituality

The number one enemy to fulfilling your goal of becoming a HEA is church or practicing spirituality. We have lost more mediocre alcoholics on the verge of greatness through their unexplainable desire to join a church. Moreover, they will develop a personal relationship with their higher power. How pathetic it is to see someone allow religion to be their new life-long passion. Do you think religion has the answers? Consider the various denominations; people disagree because it is about controlling the weak-minded and thrusting their unethical agenda on all who attend. The key to keeping any alcoholics away from church is to tell them the church knows all the right answers. Even if His ways are unknowable; even if He has an infinite mind and we are finite in nature the church still knows all the right answers. By all means get your prospect into this church. At all cost keep your prospect away from the Bible! The Word of God will destroy all hope in being transformed into a HEA. Tell them there are many rules and that conformity is rewarded in church. If they must experience church allow them to go to one where the people have a dont ask, dont tell mindsetandactholierthanthou.Sendthemtoachurchwheretheycommunicatetohurtingpeoplewithclichssuchas,I'll pray for you, and you pray harder, too, God doesn't always answer the way we want, God will work it out, just trust Him. These may be true responses but certainly not what a hurting alcoholic wants to hear. The mediocre alcoholic will give up on the idea that a church is for the sinful and likely stop pursuing the spirituality angle. Hammer into the mind of the doubtful alcoholic that churches are filled with hypocrites who will never genuinely accept you for who you are; rather they will claim to know God, but by their actions they will deny Him. A word of caution here: If you find yourself in this predicament, remember- churches do exist that accept people for who they are, they will listen and love you, and they do live what they say. Run from these churches as fast as you can, and by all means, never let a mediocre alcoholic darken the doors of one of these places! Churches perpetuate a vicious cycle of recovery through numerous programs. The programs differ widely but if the center of the program revolves around God there is a great probability that you will fail as a HEA. Here is a scene taken from a recent experience in a church basement with a fledgling effective alcoholic. INT. CHURCH BASEMENT NIGHT In a circle of ten folding chairs, the handsome REGGIE BANKS holds onto his Bible and a Blue Book in his rugged, workman hands. The other chairs seat both men and women of various outward appearances: banker, construction worker, lawyer, homemaker, teacher and the like. We hear

REGGIE BANKS We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for a lifetime. SARA TARGOSZ scratches the back of her neck with vengeance. What we see of her is her gray sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants and a white flower nestled behind her ear in her bountiful black hair. SARA TARGOSZ (sarcastically) Great. The men in the chairs clear their throats. The OTHER GIRL present rolls her eyes. OTHER GIRL Sara! Do you have to shoot everything down? You obviously havent entered the world of the Spirit like Reggie was saying. Give it a try. The men turn away and look to Reggie. His GLANCE FIXES on Sara. The murmuring of the men in the group annoys him, but his face betrays a hint of something more than irritation. The sight of the Other Girl rolling her eyes distracts him, affects him. REGGIE BANKS The phrase entered into the world of the Spirit is very significant. It implies an action, a beginning, a prerequisite to maintaining ones spiritual growth, the Spirit being the immaterial part of usJACKSON LEIFFEL interrupts Reggie politely. JACKSON LEIFFEL If I may Reggie? Reggie realizes he is simply a trusted servant directing the meeting and that it is the group as a whole that functions as the mechanism of recovery. Reggie shows humility. REGGIE BANKS By all means, Jackson. TIGHT ON Sara. We see Sara acting smug as Jackson speaks. JACKSON LEIFFEL You see, Sara, the barriers to my spiritual growth are self-centeredness and a materialistic focus on worldly things. Sara FLINCHES as we SEE Jackson continue his talk. JACKSON LEIFFEL Spirituality means devotion to spiritual instead of worldly things; it means obedience to Gods will for me. I understand spiritual things to be: unconditional love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and humility. Any time I allow selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear to be a part of me, I block out spiritual things. As I maintain my sobriety, growing spiritually becomes a lifelong process. My goal is spiritual growth, accepting that Ill never have spiritual perfection. DISSOLVE TO EXT. FRONT OF CHURCH- SAME NIGHT Sara strolls out with one of the MEN in the chairs to have a smoke. WIDE SHOT of church and the steeple and the crucifix. Sara smiles. Sara finally gets it. FADE OUT That scene is unfortunately played in thousands of church basements across the world. The Spirit of God undergirds all that is antithesis to becoming an effective alcoholic. In church and communing with God comes insights and wisdom that will surely hinder, if not entirely destroy, your journey to alcoholism. I cannot impress on you enough to stay away from these ecclesiastical practices and the people that encourage you to try it out for yourself. The church will destroy all the Ways previously described and try to convince you that you are powerless over alcohol (I think not!) and that God has the power you need to overcome effective alcoholism. It is indeed difficult for me to write this because it angers me so. These religious nuts like to cast aspersions saying you are weak, powerless, helpless, sinful, and resentful without knowing you at all! You can see why that makes me so upset. Remember you are just trying your best to become the most effective alcoholic who walked this Earth! What is wrong with that? Let the naysayers talk, preach, and shout. The effective alcoholic will rise above all the clatter! The Effective Alcoholic will live in the past replaying the pain, continue to lie, never quit drinking, never get help, never forgive, never let go of resentments and most assuredly never shadow the doors of a church or sit quietly communing with a God who may or may not even exist.

Fight the good fight for the true faith. Timothy

About Author
I must come clean (rigorous honesty is my code). Albert Pilsner is a pseudonym. It is taken from the two types of beer I used to brew. I crafted mostly ale beers because that was the type of yeast I used and fermentation temperatures were warmer and thus more forgiving. The pilsner required a special yeast strain and much cooler fermentation temperatures and a longer maturation period. My training is as a chemist and I have worked in various labs as an analytical chemist, however, I chose to follow demon alcohol with ambitions of opening my own brewpub. Thank God He is infinitely wiser than me; my own brewery would most certainly have been the death of me. Why dont I use my real name? I am currently in a job position where I have influence over young, impressionable minds. The reason I am hesitant to use my real name: Perhaps I dont want the young minds I lead to believe I condone any of my drunken past behavior. Yes, I have many regrets and yes, I would do many things differently if given the chance. But that is life and hopefully we learn from our mistakes and try to make the world a better place than how we found it. I believe God has me exactly where Im supposed to be now in life. I believe even the bad decisions and choices I have made will work together for my good according to Gods riches. So, for now, Ill remain Albert Pilsner. It isnt really important who I am. My hope is you will be able to relate, find comfort, identify warning signs, laugh, reach out and learn something new about yourself. My greatest hope is that you find Jesus Christ and that you, too, need not be lost forever.