Ja yp la y

Vol.2 Issue 29. 04.28.05

4. . .Cuisine from the can

Dermis designs. . .12
Jayplay writer Chris Brown chats with Sonny Ortiz, the percussionist from Widespread Panic. The group hits up the Starlight Theatre in Kansas City, Mo. on May 3. Check out page 17 for more details.

15. . .The band backstage

Editor’s Note
I was one of the girls who turned 18 and went to the tattoo shop for a lower-back tattoo. Generic rebellion, I know. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was lying face down on a table in a Manhattan tattoo parlor in a, shall we say, compromising position, with two of my friends cheering me on from the side. Several minutes into it, two students from my high school walked in and spotted me. They were in town for some type of choir festival. A few minutes later, three more classmates found their way into the parlor. This would have been bad enough, but then the choir teacher came in to tell the students they were getting ready to leave and saw me and my crack. Did I mention the choir teacher was also my principal’s wife? Tattoos have been a rite of passage in some form or another for thousands of years. You have the girls and guys who just get one to show their independence and piss off their parents, and the heavily tattooed who seem to form a sort of subculture. Leigh Ann Foskey looks into the history and the art in “Inked” on page 12. The saying goes that once you get one tattoo, you’ll never stop. Well, I’ve stopped, but I don’t regret getting the one I have. And though it probably never made me “cool,” I can be sure I was the talk of faculty lounge for at least a couple of days.

Inside
3 Weekly choice 4 Bite attitude for cooking A can-do 6 Manual
Grad invitations that are sure to get you a lot of money Keeping co-ed quarters Inherited cheating and lopsided libidos

The Jayplayers//
EDITOR AKA QUEEN BEE
Misty Huber

ASSOCIATE EDITOR HATES TAGLINES
Liz Beggs

CLERK GETS AROUND TOWN
Meredith Desmond

DESIGNERS MAKE PRETTY PAGES
Emily Homer Joshua Kendall

BITE ALWAYS HAS THE MUNCHIES
Britta Florman Maha Masud Anja Winikka

CONTACT WILL HELP YOU WITH YOUR PROBLEMS
Ashley Doyle Samara Nazir Erin Shipps

MANUAL IS ACTUALLY USEFUL
Donovan Atkinson Leigh Ann Foskey Lynn Hamilton

8 Contact

NOTICE TAKES NOTE OF IT
Robert Perkins Paige Worthy

10 Bitch + Moan 12 Feature 15 Venue

VENUE HAS THE BOOZE AND THE BEAT
Chris Brown Mandy Hendrix Ashley Michaels

COPY EDITOR THE BRUNETTE BOMBSHELL
Jennifer Voldness

Letting someone jab you with needles never looked so good Hanging backstage with the band

CREATIVE CONSULTANT KNOWS A LOT
Carol Holstead
Cover photo: Kit Leffler SPEAK UP JUST SEND AN E-MAIL TO jayplay @kansan.com or individually, the formula is: (1st initial+last name@kansan.com) or write to Jayplay The University Daily Kansan 111 Stauffer-Flint Hall 1435 Jayhawk Blvd. Lawrence, KS 66045

17 Movies, Music, Games 18 Speak
A not-so-dry run

The Interpreter, Thai Beat a Go-Go & Musashi

— Misty Huber, editor Contact editor at: mhuber@kansan.com

Billy Idol

Courtesy of troppoarmadillo.ubersportingpundit.com

Jeff and Vida/Kirk Rundstrum Band, Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main St., Kansas City, Mo., p.m., 21+ The Red Chord/Bury Your Dead/A Life Once Lost/If Hope Dies, 3101 Gillham Plaza, El Torreon Ballroom, Kansas City, Mo., 7 p.m., all ages, $10

Kirk Rundstrom Band/Drakkar Sauna/Jeff and Vida/Solagget, The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire St., 9 p.m., 18+, $5 to $7

Sun 5/1
Aqualung, Grand Emporium, 3832 Main St., Kansas City, Mo., 6:30 p.m., 18+, $8 Muse/Razorlight, The Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 8 p.m., all ages, $22.50 to $25

Sarah McLachlan

Courtesy of www.myspace.com

Thurs 4/28
Kipper’s Cradle/Unleash on Friday/ Distance to Empty, Boobie Trap Bar, 1417 SW Sixth St., Topeka, 9 p.m., all ages, $5 to $6 KJHK Farmer’s Ball feat. Matt Rice/Fromage and Paul Protocol/ Hi-Dive/Sad Fingers, Jackpot Saloon, 943 Massachusetts St., 10 p.m., 18+ The Faint/Bright Eyes, The Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 8 p.m., all ages, $25 to $28 Ping Chong’s Native Voices— Secret History, The Lied Center, 1600 Stewart Dr., 7:30 p.m., all ages, $14 to $28 Matches The Sky, Spanish for 100/Zahorsky, 1727 McGee St., Kansas City, Mo., 10:30 p.m., 21+, $5 to $10 The Last Vegas (ex-Urge Overkill), Bible of the Devil and Von Erics, Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts St., 10 p.m., 21+, $2 Loco Macheen, Jazzhaus, 926 1/2 Massachusetts St., 10 p.m., 21+, $3 Elton John, Kemper Arena, 1800 Genessee St., Kansas City, Mo., 8 p.m., all ages, $46 to $96 Surrealist Film Series: Little Otik, Spencer Museum of Art, 1301 Mississippi St., 7 p.m., all ages, free Local H, The Hurricane, 4048 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 9 p.m., 18+ Dirtyface/Supernauts/H Gage, Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main St., Kansas City, Mo., p.m., 21+

Death by Stereo/Losa, 3101 Gillham Plaza, El Torreon Ballroom, Kansas City, Mo., 7 p.m., all ages, $10

Fri 4/29
Another Roadside Attraction/ Crown Vic/Rosefield Rivals (Des Moines), Admiral Twin/Anchondo /Pistolita, Boobie Trap Bar, 1417 SW Sixth St., Topeka, 9 p.m., all ages, $5 to $6 KJHK Farmer’s Ball feat. Chemical Ali/Nokulem/Tyler Jack Anderson/Reach w/DJ Ataxic, Jackpot Saloon, 943 Massachusetts St., 10 p.m., 18+ Sunu with Big Banned Jazz, The Gaslight Tavern, 317 N Second St., 9 p.m., all ages Candide, Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy Hall, 1530 Naismith Dr., 7:30 p.m., all ages, $10 to $18 Spiders and 40 Minutes of Hell, Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts St., 10 p.m., 21+, $2 Traindodge, Forever Never Came/ Professional Americans, 1727 McGee St., Kansas City, Mo., 10:30 p.m., 21+, $5 to $10 Chicago Afrobeat Project, Jazzhaus, 926 1/2 Massachusetts St., 10 p.m., 21+, $6, also on Saturday Gary Allan, The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania Ave., Kansas City, Mo., 8 p.m., all ages VHI Presents: Glenn Tilbrook and the Fluffers, The Hurricane, 4048 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 8 p.m., 18+

Audible Campaign, The Hurricane, 4048 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 10 p.m., 18+ The Rightaways/Stereotypes/Raging Hormones, The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire St., 6 p.m., all ages

Mon 5/2
Joyce Castle, mezzo soprano and Mark Ferrell, piano, Swarthout Recital Hall, Murphy Hall, 1530 Naismith Dr., 7:30 p.m., all ages, free Anthony Gomes, The Hurricane, 4048 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 7 p.m., 18+

Ghosty/Koufax/Kelpie/White Whale, The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire St., 10 p.m., 18+, $5 to $7

Sat 4/30
KJHK Presents the Farmers Ball Championships, The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts St., 8 p.m., 18+ Nail Driver/DJ Randy Punkrock, The Gaslight Tavern, 317 N Second St., 8 p.m., all ages Polarized Minds, Tacky/London Transit, 1727 McGee St., Kansas City, Mo., 10:30 p.m., 21+, $5 to $10 Sarah McLachlan, Kemper Arena, 1800 Genessee St., Kansas City, Mo., 8 p.m., all ages, $45 to $65 National Fire Theory, The Hurricane, 4048 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 9:30 p.m., 18+ The Lastcall Girls/Howard Iceberg and the Titanics/Mike Ireland and Holler, Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main St., Kansas City, Mo., 9:30 p.m., 21+, $7

Tues 5/3
Elvis Costello, The Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 7:30 p.m., all ages, $35 to $55 Tiger Army/Street Dogs/12 Step Rebels, 3101 Gillham Plaza, El Torreon Ballroom, Kansas City, Mo., 7 p.m., all ages, $10 Dead Sexy/God Project/Lid/DJ Dog, The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire St., 8 p.m., all ages, $5 to $7

Wed 5/ 4
Billy Idol, The Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway St., Kansas City, Mo., 9 p.m., all ages, $35 The John McNally Band, Davey’s Uptown, 3402 Main St., Kansas City, Mo., 10:30 p.m., 21+, $6 That One Guy/Zahorsky, The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire St., 9 p.m., 18+, $5 to $7

For a complete list of events, visit www.kansan.com If you would like to add an event, e-mail mdesmond@kansan.com 04.28.05 Jayplay

weekly choice

3

Use the Can
By Anja Winikka Jayplay writer

History of the Can
After experimenting for 15 years, a Parisian named Nicholas Appert came up with the idea of preserving food by partially cooking it, sealing it in bottles with cork stoppers and immersing the bottles in boiling water. Appert assumed that as with wine, air exposure to food would spoil it. And, voila! He was right.
Source: Can Manufacturing Institute www.cancentral.com

Don’t just stack them into cool-looking towers. Grab a can opener and cook with them.

may not be the most glamorous items to land in your shopping cart at the grocery store, but considering the price and the convenience, those little steel cylinders packed with nutrients are a good bet for a healthy meal. The real stuff You can rest assured the can stacks up just as well as its fresh and frozen counterparts when it comes to nutrition. According to a University of Illinois study, canned foods retain just as many nutrients as fresh and frozen foods. In fact, in some cases canned foods provided more nutrients to the body than fresh and frozen foods. This is because the canning process, which involves heating the can and its contents at a very high temperature, makes some nutrients such as dietary fiber, which are found in fruits and vegetables, more soluble. So it’s easier for the body to use and digest. Can cooking Because canned foods are just as healthy as the frozen and fresh version, you can be confident using them in your recipes. If you want to start cooking with canned foods, stock your cupboard with some basic items. American Dietetic Association spokeswoman Cynthia Sass suggests buying fruit such as Peachy chicken pineapples canned in their Arrange chicken pieces in a baking pan. own juice, vegetables such as Bake in an oven on moderate heat until tomatoes seasoned with garlic almost done; drain fat. Distribute evenly in and onions, and protein such the pan with drained, canned sliced as canned baby shrimp and peaches; drained, canned sliced jalapeños vegetarian refried beans. Sass and a small amount of canned chicken says that canned foods are broth. Season with salt and pepper and also great because you can bake about 10 minutes longer until find seasonal fruits and vegchicken juices run clear when chicken is etables all year round. So grab pierced with a knife, and flavors are a can of beans and wrap up a blended. Serve with steamed rice. burrito for lunch or mix yogurt

They

Recipes:Now You Try

Did you Know?
Spring frost Freeze unopened cans of pitted fruit. For easy, frosty spoon drinks, submerge an unopened can of frozen fruit in hot water for about 2 minutes. Open the can and pour any liquid into the food processor bowl. Remove frozen fruit to a cutting surface and cut it into 1-inch chunks; add to food processor bowl. Process until slushy, adding some lemon-lime soda and rum or vodka. Serve immediately in stemmed glasses with spoons and straws and garnish with lemon or lime slices and mint sprigs.
Source: Canning recipes from www.mealtime.org and the Canned Food Alliance

Photo illustration by Kit Leffler

■ In 2002 humans consumed more than 24 billion cans of food. ■ After opening a can of food, you should immediately move it to another container to prevent spoilage and rust. ■ No additives are needed to preserve canned foods. Sometimes salt is added to canned foods, but it is only for flavor and isn’t necessary for food safety. Source: Can Manufacturing Institute: www.cancentral.com

with a can of blueberries at breakfast. Contact writer at: awinikka@kansan.com

4 Jayplay 04.28.05

Pasta perfect In a salad bowl, mix cooked and drained bow-tie pasta; drained, canned asparagus spears cut into 2-inch pieces; rinsed and drained canned white beans; red bell pepper squares and prepared Italian dressing. Dust with grated Parmesan cheese.

Super-short supper
Mediterranean feast

Hummus
3/4 cup water 1 1/2 cup cooked chickpeas (also known as garbanzo beans) 1 cup tahini, sesame paste 1 bulb of garlic salt, lemon juice, for flavor olive oil

Photo courtesy of www.cucinaconme.it

Combine the water, chickpeas, lemon and salt into a blender or food processor. Blend, then add tahini. Blend again. Put on plate, add olive oil on top to garnish. Serve with warm pita bread, and feta and olive salad.

Feta and olive salad
1/4 pound feta 1/4 pound of a variety of pitted olives, such as kalamata, or green olives 2 tablespoon of shredded carrots 2 teaspoon of olive oil Combine feta, olives, shredded carrots and olive oil. Mix well.
Source: Mohammed Al-Zaiti, owner of Mediterranean Market and Café

Baby Jay’s Feast:
•2 Medium pizzas any way you want it •10 breadsticks •2-liter of pop

Only $19.99

—Maha Masud

843-3000 843-2211 843-7044 843-3000 843-2211 843-7044 23rd & Louisiana • 6th & Wakarusa • 9th & Mass 23rd & Louisiana • 6th & Wakarusa • 9th & Mass

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Stat

The Cheese Shop
In the back of the Round Corner Drug Store

801 Massachusetts St.

This quaint, locally-owned sandwich shop started in 1865. Food: Create your own made-toorder sandwiches with custom choices of bread and ingredients. The Cheese Shop also sells sliced deli meats, a variety of of cheeses (not just your basic cheddar and Swiss) and $.50 bags of day-old bread. Price range: $4 to $6 for a sandwich

Photo by Britta Florman

Date-worthiness: Impress that special someone with a casual lunch date — grab some sandwiches here and head a couple blocks west to the train park. Seating: There are a limited number of bar seats and a picnic bench out back. All sandwiches are prepared to go, which makes eating elsewhere easy. Bring Mom along? Sure. Take mom here to immerse her in a relic of Lawrence history.

JAYPLAY

Your weekend starts here.

—Britta Florman
* Not actual KUID and not affiliated with the KU Card Center

If you’re not satisfied with pre-made graduation announcements Get your personality out with scissors and glue.
studying, working and double-majoring for five years at the University of Kansas, I am finally graduating. I may not be graduating with honors or any special achievements, but I want my family and friends to know about my commencement. “Hey, I’m graduating,” is what I want my announcements to say. So instead of just buying a few packs of pre-made announcements from one of the bookstores or ordering through a printing service, I’m making my own. Making your own announcements isn’t as difficult as it may sound. The only skills you really need to make a basic card are cutting and folding. And how you dress up that card is completely up to you. From printmaking to collage, you can individualize your announcements in a variety of ways. If you decide to go with printmaking, Yoonmi Nam, assistant professor of art, says that there are a lot of ways to do it. The two methods that she recommends for students to try are relief printing and silkscreen. Relief printing is similar to using stamps, where the ink is placed on the surface that you want to duplicate. Silkscreen is a more difficult process, but Nam says that stenciling is a simplified version. For relief printing, Nam advises carving your own stamps out of wood or linoleum. She also says that you can use other materials, such as household erasers. According to The Art of Card Making, any object with a relief surface can be used as a stamp. Using collage can create a unique look.

Make itPersonal
By Donovan Atkinson, Jayplay writer

After

Materials
Depending on what method you use to make your announcements, you won’t need all of these supplies. But these are basic materials to get you started. Paper: Except for the text, this is the most important part of your announcement. You’ll want to choose a paper that can support the medium you choose to work with. Yoonmi Nam, assistant professor of art, suggests trying a variety of papers to see what you like best. Scissors: There are two kinds of scissors: those that cut and those that cut while adding decoration. You can find a variety of decorative scissors at any craft shop. Adhesive: Try using a glue stick, rubber cement or spray adhesives to keep your work flat. Craft knife and cutting mat: For more detailed work, you may want to use a craft or X-Acto knife. Be sure to use a cutting mat, to not only protect your tabletop, but to also protect the blade from dulling or breaking against your work surface. Metal ruler: A metal ruler is better when cutting paper than a plastic ruler. You’ll be able to cut against the metal ruler without damaging it or cutting into it.

Instant Gratification: Cards , by Carol Endler Sterbenz and Genevieve A. Sterbenz, suggests using household materials such as ribbons, buttons, multiple types of paper and glitter. Magazines and newspapers also provide letters and photos that can be used for ransom notestyle collages. Another technique you can use is designing and printing your cards on the computer. Use a scanner to import

images and decorative details. And with on-campus access to computer labs stocked with design programs such as Adobe InDesign and QuarkXpress, you can create quality announcements. “If you have a good sensibility in design, they can look professional,” Nam says. Contact writer at: datkinson@kansan.com

Re-energize Your Battery

The Lied Center of Kansas
www.lied.ku.edu • 785.864.2787

Many of us have heard it before, the familiar click,
click, click of a dead car. When you hear that click, your battery is likely low or dead says Gene Ross, manager of Jiffy Lube, 2415 Iowa. To jump-start your vehicle, Ross says to begin by connecting jumper cables to the battery that was dead first. Connect the red jumper cable to the positive terminal on the battery and then the black cable to the negative terminal. Start the vehicle with the live battery and then connect the jumper cables to that vehicle: red to positive first and then black to negative. Start the car with the dead battery and let the car run five to 10 minutes to charge before unhooking the cables in the same order you hooked them up. Be careful to keep the cable ends separate from each other because they may spark if they touch. If the vehicle still doesn’t start, Ross says make sure the cables are hooked tight to the battery terminals and let the car charge longer before trying to start it. —Lynn Hamilton

Half-Price Tickets for KU Students!*
Available at Lied Center, University Theatre, and SUA Ticket Offices.

Ping Chong’s

Native Voices – Secret History
Thursday,* Friday * & Saturday * April 28–30, 2005 – 7:30 p.m.
Theatrical performance based on personal stories/experiences of Native Americans and Alaska Natives in our community, highlighted through this oral history project.
CAST

Russell Blackbird

Carly Jo Blemmel

Dennison A. Dugi

Quick fix
Gift Wrapping 101
It’s always more fun to tear open a
nicely wrapped present than one that’s just been thrown in a box. To make your presents prettier, here are some tips to becoming a wrapping expert. 1. Put the gift in a box. Choose your paper and a bow or ribbon. 2. Unroll a little of the paper. Put the box in the middle and fold the paper to cover it. Cut along the fold. 3. With the measured paper print side down, place the box in the mid dle. 4. Fold the paper lengthwise and tape the edges together. 5. Push the paper in on the sides form ing two paper triangles; one on top and one on bottom. Tape the sides to the box and repeat on the other side. 6. Fold along the square edge of each triangle and tape them to the box. One points up and one points down. Do the same on the second side. 7. Turn the present seam-side down, and tape on a bow or ribbon. *For a more finished look, before you wrap, fold over all raw edges to create a “hem”. — Leigh Ann Foskey
Haskell Indian Nations University

Lori Tapahonso

Dianne Yeahquo Reyner

In conjunction with Saturday’s performance...
Summit III – Building a Better Community, Bridging Cultures;

The Native American Experience
Saturday, April 30, Lied Center

Summit III Co-Sponsors

VIP Sponsor

A FREE Concert at the University of Kansas Edwards Campus Regnier Hall Auditorium

Quartet Accorda
Friday, May 6 – 7:30 p.m.
Enjoy an intimate evening of wonderful classical music with this first-class ensemble. The program will include the Debussy String Quartet.

Edwards Campus, Regnier Hall Auditorium 12600 Quivira Rd. Overland Park 2.5 miles south of I-435 off the Quivira Rd. exit

Assemblyrequired

Upon Request

Buy On-line

For Tickets Call: 785.864.2787
TDD: 785.864.2777

University of Kansas

Girls are fromVenus boys are fromMars
By Samara Nazir Jayplay writer
Photo illustration by Kit Leffler

Living with the opposite sex may not be as disastrous as you think.

Nothing seems unusual about
four roommates in a two-bedroom apartment with one bathroom. However, when that combination is three girls and one guy, the situation becomes more interesting. Fortunately, Hai Chen, Olathe junior, had a positive experience from living with three girls. Despite preconceived notions about coed living arrangements leading to sheer disaster, gender mixing can work well for college guys. Chen quickly saw the differences living with girls rather than guys. Chen says girls keep to themselves a lot more, and you really can’t be rowdy around them or play video games with them. You might also be pulled into girl talk, but he advises to steer clear of any fights. Girls are also much cleaner than guy roommates, Chen says. “Except that girls

shed hair in the shower,” he says. “Sometimes I had to pull out a loogie of hair before taking a shower.” He says he never fought with any of his roommates. Plus, they knew each other fairly well, which eliminated the issue of hidden feelings creeping into the scenario. He is not living with any of the girls this year only because he had made living arrangements elsewhere, but Chen wouldn’t mind living with a group of girls again. Similar expectations and good communication are the two components that John Wade, a licensed psychologist for the Counseling and Psychological services at Watkins Health Center, says are most important for coed roommates to keep in mind. Wade stresses that people do need to be mature enough to understand that there can be no romantic intentions involved for the situation to work. Or

as Bryan Allen, Manhattan senior puts it, “You just don’t dip your pen in the company ink if you know what I mean.” Allen and his roommate currently live with two girls, which he says is a good balance. Allen says that living with the opposite sex helps you build an understanding and connection with them. For instance, through living with girls, Allen has learned that he really doesn’t know how to dress. Allen and his roommates never fight and because Allen and his girlfriend were friends with each other prior to dating, she was well aware of the roommate situation and never had a problem with it. For girls, living with guys can be just as fun. Fed up with being around too much estrogen and drama, Sarah Kadhim, Colorado Springs, Colo., junior, opted to live with two guys and one of her current roommates next year. Sarah knows the

guys too well to worry about the issue of romantic feelings developing, but she is slightly worried about sharing a bathroom because she doesn’t know where she’ll put all her stuff. Any girl you live with has to be like your sister says Michael Krost, Plano, Texas sophomore, who was also considering living with a few girls next year. The living arrangements, however, didn’t work out because Krost and his potential roommates had one too many roommates for a four-person apartment at the Legends, so instead he is living with three other guys. Krost thought that living with girls would be fun and different. But then again, what guy would say no to living with girls?

Contact writer at: snazir@kansan.com

8 Jayplay 04.28.05

Lovesource
Mind your manners
college guys could use a little instruction in manners. Guys overlook the importance of opening doors, knowing which fork to use, and worse yet, refraining from making sexist comments in mixed company. Learn how to become a better man with The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manner, Savvy and Vice by Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesaurs. This book is an all-around great guide. From making elevator conversation to gift giving to knowing something about wine and how to apologize — this book really could change your life, and your Saturday night. So boys, impress your girlfriends and read up. You can get this book at any bookstore for about $15.

we met How

Photo contributed by Jayme Aschemeyer

Most

Courtesy of www.amazon.com

Jayme Aschemeyer & Dave Swafford It’s not easy to go from being a “player” to being attached. Jayme
Aschemeyer, Aurora, Colo., senior and Dave Swafford, Hutchinson senior can attest to that. Both dated a lot before they got together. Aschemeyer met Swafford through a friend whom they both wanted to live with. Swafford and their mutual friend ended up living together, which pissed Ashemeyer off because she thought Swafford stole her roommate. She didn’t like him much after that. Swafford even dated Aschemeyer’s roommate, which didn’t work out. But finally they went out on a date, and it’s been a transforming two and a half months since. —Erin Shipps

—Ashley Doyle

B A R
1009 Mass st.

THURSDAYS (domestic ONLY)

Schooner

$1.75

By Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett

How far does the apple fall from the cheating tree?

Q a Q a Q a

My boyfriend only wants to have sex once or twice a week. When we have sex it’s usually pretty good, but I want it more often. He never seems to show much interest. Is it me? Or is he cheating? Or what? —Leslie, freshman Chris: It sounds like he has a case of the “lames” — as in “he’s lame.” It is possible he’s so tired from boning other girls he’s too tired for you. It’s also possible he just doesn’t have much of a sex drive. It’s also possible he’s gay. If he is more important than sex with him, you may have to go manual to meet your needs. Or find someone else that likes the morning quickies, nooners and all-night romps us normal people enjoy. Jessi: It sounds like you two just have different libido levels. I know plenty of girls who would be thankful to find a man like yours who isn’t constantly consumed by sexy thoughts. However, I have a few suggestions in mind: You could introduce some new moves/items in the bedroom to up the randy-factor. You could use your handydandy vibbie for some quality you-time. Or as a last resort, you could take him for a walk on Mass and point at every single guy walking by and say “look, I bet he’d do me,” but that’s only if you’re into guilttripping and making him feel like absolute crap on a stick. My boyfriend’s dad has cheated a lot. It’s got me worrying. Do you think cheating is genetic or am I crazy? —Mel, sophomore Chris: Your boyfriend may have learned a lot from his father’s cheating — like how damaging it can be. Just because his father was less than faithful doesn’t mean he will follow that path. Sure he may turn out to be a cheating douche bag too, but that will be his choice, not his father’s. Geez, I’m just not funny today! Sorry for the letdown. Jessi: Yes, Mel, dear. You’re absolutely right. Cheating is genetic… as genetic as favorite pizza toppings. I’m kidding you! Although there have been studies conducted regarding whether or not philandering has a genetic basis, there is no real truth as of yet to that theory. However, learning, imitation and acceptance may have some influence over a person’s moral upbringing. Children learn from their parents, and in many cases adopt their parents’ relationship strategies like confrontation versus passivity. That said, I do believe that people may see infidelity as more acceptable than others depending on their experiences with it growing up. After graduation, my boyfriend of six months will be moving four hours away to work. Would it be smarter to keep dating or break up? —Nita, junior Chris: With gas prices as high as they are now and predicted to keep growing this summer, it’s not only smart to break up, it’s also smart to sell your car and buy a bike. If being four hours away has you questioning your relationship, I’m guessing this isn’t something you expect will last long anyway. Ending it before would be better if that’s what you think both of y’all want. But if you care enough for this guy to give it a shot, try it out, see what happens and be sure to communicate your feelings along the way. Jessi: I only support long-distance relationships in the case that the couple a) sees a possible future together, b) have already been together for a while, and c) are in love and devoted to sticking it out. I think you’ll see all three components are necessary in order to keep this type of relationship together.

Got a burning question? E-mail us at bitch@kansan.com.

Not to make you all scared, but we’re eavesdropping on your conversations. Yes, we hear everything. And then we print it. But don’t worry if you say something stupid, we won’t identify you — unless you owe us money or beer.
Girl (to Guy 1): Yeah, that was my spring break in Vegas. The stripper grabbed my boob, bit my nipple and then went down below — and I don’t want to tell you what happened down there. She was able to do something with her mouth that made it feel like a vibrator… Guy 2: Wait — she bit your nipple? Girl: I was wearing a really low-cut shirt. Guy 2: Oh. Girl 1: Hey — did you cheat on Ben? Girl 2: Yeah. Girl 1: God, every time I see him I want to cry! Girl 2: The thing is, he’s beautiful – Girl 1 (interrupting): Really beautiful. Girl 2: But he’s not very smart. Girl 1: Yeah, that’s true. Guy 1: Did you see those people bitching about the sinking cruise ship on TV? Guy 2: Yeah. Guy 1: People are such bitches. Guy 2: Yeah, I’ll bet it was way worse than, say, the tsunami. Guy 1: For real.

Wescoe wit

[Oh, you guys say some of the darndest things. ]

—Robert Perkins

Five questions

w
Q: At what store would you max out your credit cards? Henrickson: Nordstrom’s. Up in the Studio 121 department or the shoe department. It’s good because they have large sizes and I wear a size 11. Rohde: I could really use some new furniture. So call me metrosexual, but I’d go to Restoration Hardware. Q: Disco balls or strobe lights? Henrickson: I’d have to say disco balls, because Saturday Night Fever is my era. John Travolta and stuff. Rohde: Strobe lights. Q: If you came back in another life, what would you be? Henrickson: I would be a backup singer — I don’t have the range to be the lead singer. Or be a really good piano player. Rohde: Somebody who makes much more money than I’m going to. Maybe a doctor or a lawyer.

One KU “famous,” one KU not (yet) famous

Bonnie Henrickson, Kansas women’s basketball coach

Kyle Rohde, Delafield, Wis., senior

Q: What’s on the walls in your room? Henrickson: In my fitness room, I’ve got live-action pictures of the teams I’ve coached. Rohde: Car posters, car flags and car memorabilia. Q: Where do you see yourself years from now? Henrickson: For us to be playing, winning a Big 12 championship. Maybe Final 4 level — look at Baylor; they did it in five. Rohde: Living in Kansas City, working, and slightly missing being in Lawrence.

—Paige Worthy

“You only have your skin once, why not do as much as you can with it . . . Instead of seeing your body as a whole, you see it as open space.” —Kristen Ferrell, tattoo enthusiast

The story of tattoo past, present and future
By Leigh Ann Foskey, Jayplay Writer
Kristen Ferrell, a buyer for The Third Planet at Ninth and Massachusetts Streets, often trades paintings for new body art. Photos by Kit Leffler

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Jayplay 04.28.05

in the chair, I took a deep breath. The machine buzzes in the background. The first touch is always the most painful — like a bee sting or a rubber band smacking against my skin. It’s the pain that gives you goosebumps and makes your teeth chatter, but it’s not unbearable. I’m nervous at first, but after the pain dulls I can’t wait to see the finished design. Sitting there, I’m one of the millions who will get a tattoo each year. Tattoo art is a universal medium and although the technology has changed, the meaning and the experience have remained the same for thousands of years. Reseachers have said for years that tattoos are over; they’re just a trend. But the numbers prove them wrong. In 1936, Life magazine reported that 10 million Americans, or 6 percent of the population, had at least one tattoo. Even now millions take a seat in the chair for the first time every year. In 2000, National Geographic News reported that 40 million people, or 15 percent of the population, were tattooed. In October 2003, a Harris Poll found that 16 percent of adults had at least one tattoo — that’s about 47 million people. The poll also found Americans ages 25 to 29 made up 36 percent of those with tattoos. In October 2004, CBS News reported that there were 15,000 tattoo parlors in the United States alone. CBS estimates that if you typed “tattoo” into a Google search you’d come up with more than 10-and-a-half million hits. More recently, on April 15 of this year, Yahoo’ Buzz Index reported that tattoo searches were up and ranked in the top-10 queries. Twenty percent of those looking were 18 to 20 years old; more than half were women.

Sitting

Modern tattoo and man (and woman) Tattoos date back at least thousands of years. In 1991 a tattooed treasure was found on the mountainous border between Austria and Italy. The discovery of a mummy more than 5,000 years old provided insight into the global taboo. Otzi, the mummified man, has the oldest surviving examples of tattoos, says writer and adventurer Vince Hemingson, who details the history of tribal tattoo in a documentary called The Vanishing Tattoo. Scientists found a system of tattoos on Otzi’s joints and lower back suggesting the markings were used for an ancient form of Chinese acupuncture. When scientists thoroughly examined the body they found that the man had suffered from arthritis in the areas where the tattoos were present: knees, ankles and lower back. Hemingson says tattooed individuals have also been uncovered in the permafrost of Russia and Mongolia, and the mummies of Egypt often sported skin art. He says these tattooed bodies date back thousands of years and show that tattooing is a universal human practice and it was only a matter of time before tattoos reached the West. Seamen first brought tattoos home in the mid-18th century. When sailors, such as Captain James Cook and his crew visited the Polynesian islands in about 1796 they were so impressed with the ink on skin that they returned to Great Britain with tattoos themselves. It was Cook who presented tattoos to the King and the upper class. The obsession spread and soon the King of Denmark and even Winston Churchill’s mother, Lady Randolph, were tattooed. As the interest in tattoo art spread, so did the technology. In 1892 Thomas Edison patented the tattoo machine.

The equipment made tattooing quicker and more available. Soon, American military service men were getting tattoos. They’d stop at a port for a good time and thus the phrase “stewed, screwed and tattooed” was born. Many of these traditional sailor tattoos have remained popular. A blue bird, for example, was given to a sailor for traveling 5,000 nautical miles. He’d receive a second for traveling 10,000 nautical miles. Hemingson says that sailors were superstitious. The men were out at sea for so long that any sight of a bird — meaning land is nearby — brought excitement and hope. Another design that has its roots off shore is the hand tattoo. “Hold Fast” was often tattooed on the knuckles of sailors so when they were climbing up the ship’s rigging, they would never let go. The heart tattoo and the classic “mom” design were a constant reminder of what the service men were fighting for. In the 1930s and ’40s, when servicemen were sent to Asian countries during the war, a new design swept the scene: Asian art. Hemingson says traditional Japanese tattooing was done by hand poking, rather than with a tattoo machine, and during that time the industry saw some of the finest examples of hand-done tattooing. The time many servicemen spent in Asian countries during the war may have furthered the trend. Pigments have also made a dramatic change in the last 50 years, Hemingson says. Now inks are approved for use on skin by the FDA. Contrary to what many think, when a tattoo machine marks the skin, it’s not injecting ink into the skin at all. It actually perforates the skin and allows ink to penetrate between the dermal and epidermal layers of the skin. A tattoo machine works like a sewing machine. Controlled by a foot switch, the needle moves up and

down at a rate beteen 50 to 3,000 times per minute. Then the needle places tiny droplets of pigment about oneeighth of an inch deep into the skin. Because the cells in dermis skin are so strong, the ink will last forever, with minor touchups. Otzi was tattooed for medicinal purposes. Many Egyptian women were tattooed on their breasts and lower abdomen to aid fertility, and sailors saw tattoos as amulets, while certain tribes used the art to remember some kind of journey. In Western cultures such as the United States, tattooing may answer a deeper need that people have to mark their person, Hemingson says. It’s bloody and painful, but people continue to put themselves through it. Kristen Ferrell, buyer at Third Planet, 2 E. Ninth St. got her first tattoo when she was 16. “It was this funny biker chic moon and stars thing,” she says. Ferrell says she always knew she would have tattoos. Growing up with National Geographic, she loved the idea of being able to put a drawing on skin permanently. “You only have your skin once, why not do as much as you can with it,” she says. She has now been getting tattooed for about 15 years and doesn’t plan on stopping. Ferrell says that tattoos change the way you see empty spaces on your body. And that once you get the first, you start thinking about where you’re going to put the next. “Instead of seeing your body as a whole, you see it as open space,” she says. Andrew Holtmann, Kansas City, Kan., senior, says he also sees his skin as a blank canvas. “I knew when I got the first one I was going to get more,” he says. “It was just a matter of taking that first step.” Holtmann now has eight tattoos, one yet to be finished and says he will continue to get more. He sees his tattoos as a source of strength. He says they are a way to remember events and people, like his band-mates who have moved on. Views on ink Tattoos not only change the way you see your own body, they can change the way others see you too. Ferrell is the mother of a 6 year old and says now that he’s older, her tattoos aren’t such a problem. When he was younger, she says, they’d go to the park and other mothers would take their children and leave because of the culture that tattoos represented. But that stigma is changing. Joe McGill, owner of Joe’s Body Art, 714 Vermont St. Ste. 100, says there is no longer a negative stereotype. “It’s not just servicemen and bikers and ex-cons that have them, everyone gets them now,” he says. Ferrell too says she sees a difference in the way people see skin art. They are becoming more mainstream and acceptable she says. “Now, you are judged by the kind of tattoo you have, not just that you have them.” Stacy Daugherty, owner of Big Daddy Cadillac’s, 16 E. Eighth St., says tattoos are becoming more acceptable in the workplace too. Daugherty, for example, just finished two full sleeves and a full back piece for a high school principal. Daugherty says people who get tattoos vary radically. Although tattooing is probably more common among educated 18 to 26 year olds, Daugherty did give a 93-year-old woman her first tattoo. She told Daugherty that her husband never liked tattoos and he died, so she decided to go for it. Men and women see tattooing differently, says hemingson from The Vanishing Tattoo. Men tend to get more masculine tattoos such as dragons and usually have tattoos on their upper body to make themselves look bigger. Women on the other hand, are more likely to get art with more emotion and meaning. Women get tattoos that reflect a certain time or help them remember a loved one. They also have a tendency to be tattooed on more erogenous and feminine body parts such as the hips and buttocks. Women represent 56 percent of the clientele at Big Daddy’s. Daugherty, the owner, contributes this number to women presenting themselves more strongly. While tattooed women were once stereotyped as prostitutes, they’re now accepted.

So you want to get a tat? When I got my first tattoo I was overwhelmed. I had no idea what I was doing. I went to every tattoo shop in Kansas City, looked through portfolios and asked about each artist. After weeks of debating, I took my crayon drawing into a shop and handed it to a tattooed girl with bubblegum pink hair. After a few re-sketches I handed her the deposit and waited, for what seemed like forever. Finally, a week later, I went in to see the final drawings and scheduled the appointment. After a few more weeks of waiting (and plenty of time to talk myself out of it) I went in. My first tattoo took three-and-a-half hours to finish, and the most painful part was sitting still for so long. Now I Big Daddy Cadillacs, a favorite of Kristen Ferrell’s, is located at Eightth and New have two tattoos, more than $600 Hampshire Streets next door to Sakaroff’s. Kristen is a loyal customer of “Carlos”. worth of work, and I love them both, More talented young artists are entering the scene than because I drew them myself. And I have no hesitations ever before, says Daugherty from Big Daddy’s. Many new about getting more. There is more to getting a tattoo than artists have backgrounds in graphic design and fine arts picking some flash off a wall. You have to get something and bring a different kind of ability to the industry. He says you can look at everyday for the rest of your life. that as theses artists grow in number, we can expect to see To make sure it’s the tattoo for you, Ferrell says to place more fine art reproductions on skin. a drawing of the tattoo you want on the bathroom mirror. As I got up from the chair to leave the tattoo shop, my That way you’ll have to look at it at least a few times a day. new piece covered in clear goo and encased in plastic If you still like it after about three months, get it. Ferrell wrap, I took a deep sigh of relief. I’ve marked my body, says you can also try henna. The ink will stay on your skin making it my own. I’ll always have a tattoo to remind me for a few weeks and give you an idea of what the finished of that point in time; that exact moment. It is a permanent product will look like. keepsake of who I am. Pick an artist you trust and feel comfortable with. He adds that it’s probably not a good sign if the artist can take Contact writer at: you right when you walk in. Holtmann says to pick something you like and don’t become a cliché. He says to lfoskey@kansan.com choose something with a deeper meaning that you can will stay with you. Some tattoos, such as tribal armbands, stars and Chinese characters may be overdone. And butterflies and roses have always been popular among women. But don’t let that scare you away, if the design means something to you, get it. It’s also important to like the artist’s style says McGill from Joe’s Body Art. He prefers doing free-flowing tribal designs; those that move with the body and look like they’re supposed to be there. He says to choose an artist who will work with you on what you want. “It’s not Big Daddy Cadillac’s about me,” he says, “I’m just the pencil, so they say.” 16 E Eighth St. McGill says getting something you can be happy with is Open 2 p.m. to 8p.m. Tuesday through Saturday most important. The tattoo needs to have meaning for you because it will always be there. “Tattoos last longer than you do,” he says. Joe’s Body Art Get the biggest tattoo you’re comfortable with, 714 Vermont St. Ste 100 says Hemingson; The bigger the tattoo is, the better Open 2 p.m. to 8p.m. Tuesday through Saturday an artist can show off his or her talent. Hemingson says artists need about 10 years of experience to do their best work because skin is hard to draw on and it takes a long Skin Illustrations time to master. “You want a tattoo that can blow their 1530 W. Sixth St. minds a little,” he says. “You want people to say, ‘Wow, Open noon to 8 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday who did that?’ Not, ‘Oh, what is it?’”

Lawrence Tattoo Shops

The future of skin art With more people getting tattoos, the industry is improving its technology. McGill, owner of Joe’s Body Art, says equipment and service are getting better all the time. Even since he opened his first shop in 1994, the quality of ink and equipment has improved. He says colors are brighter, they last longer and the machines run smoother, which allow for making finer lines. There are more talented young artists entering the scene than ever before. Many new artists have backgrounds in graphic design and fine arts and bring a different kind of ability to the industry. He says that as these artists grow in number we can expect to see more fine art reproductions on skin.

Photo by Kit Leffler

Going backstage at concerts isn’t always as cool as it might seem

By Mandy Hendrix, Jayplay writer

It’s one of the most elusive places at
any concert. Cut off to the public by beefy security men, the backstage is surrounded with mystery. Rabid fans will do almost anything to get there. The more reserved only dream about the experience. But are the backstage activities really worth all the fuss? To find out, I decided to hang out with the local band Distance To Empty during one of its shows at The Bottleneck to figure out the allure of the backstage. These guys have been around for three years and have played many shows in Kansas and toured throughout the Midwest. The music scene here in Lawrence is friendly, welcoming and much different than in a larger city. Local bands dominate in Lawrence and play small venues such as the Bottleneck and the Granada. Distance To Empty decided to let me in on some of the secrets of off-stage action at the local level. After the band has unloaded their equipment from their van, I ask to see the backstage. Every member of Distance To Empty tells me that he has never been backstage at The Bottleneck. They prefer to hang out in one of the booths and listen to the other bands playing that night, says Kyle Akers, Distance To Empty bassist and Prairie Village senior. I’m already begin-

ning to wonder if the famed backstage pass is as exclusive as it’s made out to be. Kris Kennedy, a member of the hip-hop group Crux, has a different pre-show routine. Kennedy, Overland Park junior, mentally runs through the show and then clears his mind. He does this for about four hours before the show starts, but with a half an hour until he goes onstage, Kennedy does what he calls “the rain man.” He mouths the words to his songs as fast as he can, then dances around a little bit. At the Bottleneck I’m led upstairs to a tiny room thick with cigarette smoke and graffiti decorated walls — not quite how I envisioned the “backstage.” The carpet is soiled and in need of a vacuuming, the makeshift bathroom has newspapers and grime all over the toilet and the chairs lining the wall have exposed padding. Sitting on a table in this filthy room, there is a vase with blooming pink flowers. Touring across several states, Distance To Empty has found that the backstage — or green room — changes little from venue to venue. “It’s like they [the venue] find the nastiest room and turn it into the green room,” Akers says. “They think, ‘Okay, you can hang out here and drink beer.’” He remembers hearing stories of the haunted backstage at the Bone, a music venue in St. Joseph, Mo. There was

a band in the green room smoking marijuana and suddenly the numbers on the clock started spinning and the cash register drawer flew open, Akers says. While I’m up here at The Bottleneck, members of other bands tread up the narrow, steep stairs to sit on the large bench and talk with one another. The bands Distance To Empty and Aubrey decide to leave their mark by scribbling their names on the ceiling, but all they have is a pen. The effect isn’t quite the same as the hot pink “I love pussy” spray painted on the wall. This isn’t the way you would picture the backstage at larger, national shows. It’s not like these guys have someone attending to their every need. Request lists? Nope. These bands are lucky to be playing a venue; they can’t afford to be obnoxious. At the Bottleneck, there isn’t even a person guarding the backstage door. Dur-

BAND

THE

I’M

W W II TH TH
ing the concert, I see different girls walk through the backstage door, but I notice all of the band members sitting downstairs in booths. Tonight the only girls hanging around the band are friends, but Distance To Empty has been propositioned with sexual requests before. At a show in Wichita, Bo McCall, guitarist for the band and Lenexa resident, tells me that some girls came up to the group after the show to invite them to an orgy. The band declined, but was thrilled to have gotten the offer. “At that point, we were like ‘Yeah, we’re a real band now,’” McCall says. The behind the scenes action is not quite the image of sex, drugs n’ rock and roll that I had imagined. Being backstage wasn’t as exciting as it’s hyped up to be. I didn’t see any bonuses or perks that night. I realized that the best place at a concert isn’t the backstage, but next to the stage enjoying the music. Contact writer at: mhendrix@kansan.com

04.28.05 Jayplay

15

Cocktail of the week
Courtesy of www.zu-tisch.de

French 75
Here’s to getting “blasted.” It’s
ingredients can differ from gin and champagne to cognac and champagne, but either way the French 75 is a drink that packs a punch. In the French trenches of World War I gin was scarce, but cognac and champagne were not. American soldiers soon discovered that a combination of the two produced an effect similar to getting zapped by an artillery piece known as French 75. Ingredients: 1 1/2 oz. cognac 1 oz. lemon juice 1 tsp. sugar 6 oz. champagne

Combine everything but the champagne. Shake and pour the mixture in a champagne glass. Fill with the champagne and garnish with a lemon twist. Source: Bartending for Dummies by Ray Foley and www.drinksmixer.com —Chris Brown

It’s Brothers!
1105 Massachusetts St.
known around Lawrence as simply “Brothers,” you can always count on a long line outside Thursday through Saturday. The crowd is usually made up of athletes, jersey chasers and the greek community. Brothers features a hip-hop DJ on Thursday nights. The night usually starts with hip-hop/rap and ends with “Pour Some Sugar On Photo by Ashley Michaels Me” and “Footloose.” There’s no cover charge except on Saturdays when you’ll have to pay $3 to get in. Sunday through Wednesday are good nights to hang out and have a drink. You can play pool on one of the three pool tables, throw darts or watch TV on the big screens. Age: 21+ Drink specials: Thursday: $2.50 Jumbo Long Islands Friday: $1.00 Puckers Saturday: $2.00 Jumbo Hurricanes —Ashley Michaels

Well

Bar stat-card

Interview:

Widespread Panic
own. The band comes to the Starlight Theatre in Kansas City, Mo. on May 3 to play a sold-out show. J a y p l a y writer Chris Brown caught up with percussionist Domingo Courtesy www.onlineathens.com “Sonny” Ortiz after the first of a two-night The Band: (from left to right) run in Raleigh, N.C. to chat Dave Schools: bass about nicknames, favorite John “JoJo” Hermann: keyboards, vocals places to play and dreams. George McConnell: guitars, vocals John Bell: vocals, guitar What’s the story behind Todd Nance: drums the nickname? Domingo “Sonny” Ortiz: percussion I guess it was back in high school, you know when life was a barrel of monkeys, I smiled a bunch and friends started calling me 16 years ago in Athens, that and it just kind of stuck. Ga., Widespread Panic is a favorite always been a great city for us. We’re excited about being out on the road. We’re shooting for going into the studio in January. What are you thinking about when you are performing a solo? It’s a real spontaneous, spur of the moment kind of thing. I try to think ‘how can I complement what the other musicians do?’ Music is a verbal communication. As a player, you try to add to the musical conversation without overplaying. Fill in the blank: ____ days, chasin’ the clouds away. Hot. Actually, I was playing on your nickname for that one. Oh, well it reminds me of growing up in Texas when the summers were real hot and I was just dreamin’ away. _____ and Cher. Sonny. I’ve got sunshine on a _____ day. [Laughs] Cloudy. Of all the places you guys have ever played, which is a lot, what’s your favorite? Well it’s always great to play in Atlanta, but Vegas, New York, LA, San Francisco, the Gorge, San Diego, Germany and some other European cities, these towns are all really great to play and they’ve been really super for us. I wish we could play in Athens but there isn’t anyplace we can play there. Can you describe the strangest dream you’ve ever had? I guess when you’re younger you can remember your dreams, but when you’re older you can’t. As a kid, like everyone else, I dreamed about being successful, about being happy and doing something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m very fortunate because I get to do what I love every day. I love getting up and going to work now. It’s being able to play music day in, day out, ordering room service and traveling a lot. It’s the small things in life for me that make my world click.

Formed

among the “jam-friendly” community. “The Boys from the South” as devoted, road-worn fans might call them, the band mixes together elements of American roots music — blues, jazz and folk with classic rock riffs and Latin percussion to form a distinct Southern rock sound all its

With a nickname like “Sonny” I’m interested to know, is the glass half empty or half full? Oh, it’s always full. How’s tour looking so far? It’s great to be back on the road, Raleigh’s

—Chris Brown

Movies
Kung Fu Hustle (✰✰✰)
R, 99 minutes South Wind 12 Stephen Chow’s Kung Fu Hustle is the best live-action cartoon since the Coen Brothers’ Raising Arizona. It’s funny, ultraviolent and, yes, a little exhausting. In his native Hong Kong, Chow has developed a reputation as the next Bruce Lee. His seven features as director and star — among them 2001’s Shaolin Soccer — show a slapstick comedian as much as a martial-arts master. He’s also a fluid and energetic filmmaker, virtues evident in nearly every scene of Kung Fu Hustle. The setting is Shanghai in the 1940s, “a time of social disorder and unrest,” when the Axe Gang, dressed in bow ties and top hats, rules the city. The gang receives its comeuppance from a batch of retired warriors hiding out in a slum named Pig Sty Alley. There, we meet the Landlady, a middle-aged shrew who chain smokes and beats her husband. We also meet a hairdresser whose butt is always hanging out and a shopkeeper named Donut. Then there’s Sing, played by Chow, who lives a life of petty crime but is destined to become a great warrior. We know this because when Sing was a kid an old man stopped him on the street and declared him a “one in a thousand kung-fu genius.” We should all be so lucky. Chow piles on visual gags that defy the laws of nature, lending the film a kind of breezy comic anarchy. People get their faces and feet smashed in, but live to fight another day, while a chase on foot looks like it was taken right out of an old 'Road Runner” cartoon. As silly as it is, Kung Fu Hustle showcases exhilarating fight scenes filled with wall-to-wall destruction and state-of-theart special effects. This innovative mix of the absurd and the savage leaves the viewer worn out but doubly entertained.

Film Face-Off

Two reviewers throwing stars

✰✰✰✰ Excellent: National Lampoon’s Animal House ✰✰✰ Good: Old School ✰✰ Okay: Revenge of the Nerds ✰ Bad: PCU

Film Face-Off

Two National Lampoon’s Dorm Daze No stars: reviewers throwing stars

Kung Fu Hustle

—Stephen Shupe

The Interpreter (✰✰✰)
PG-13, 128 minutes South Wind 12 If anything, The Interpreter is authentic. It is the first movie ever to be filmed inside the actual United Nations building in New York. Director Sidney Pollack uses the authenticity to create a tense thriller that builds interest with every scene. The film stars Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn, both bringing depth and realism to their characters. The film focuses around Silvia Broome, a U.N. interpreter from an African country. In one of those scenes where the main character goes back to the office late at night when seemingly nobody’s around, she overhears a conversation revealing a plot to kill Matobo’s corrupt and genocidal president. Enter Tobin Keller, a secret service agent assigned to the protection of foreign dignitaries on U.S. soil. Penn’s character carries with him a painful secret that isn’t revealed until halfway through the movie. Pollack uses this secret to bring his two main characters closer together, not as lovers, but as people who need someone to confide in and trust. He balances moments like this with the tenser ones well. Pollack knows how to build tension.

Take for example the sequence where three suspects are being tailed throughout New York City at the same time, and all end up on the same city bus. Pollack lets each of these characters movements play out in front of the audience and lets the suspense build until all of the pieces fall into place. Penn and Kidman have exactly the right chemistry for their characters. Penn in particular shows a good range, going from distrustful of Kidman’s character to an overprotective father figure to a close friend. The Interpreter uses those scenes inside the U.N. to full effect, helping add to the realism and tension in this solid thriller.

Melinda and Melinda (✰✰)
PG-13, 100 Minutes Liberty Hall Does the world need another Woody Allen movie? Casual filmgoers may think of Melinda and Melinda as “that new Will Ferrell movie,” but make no mistake — Ferrell is not the story here, Allen is. Woody Allen is one of the great American auteurs, and he has written and directed nearly 40 films in his career. But his career trajectory has gone from zany (Bananas) to sublime (Annie Hall) to serious (Crimes and Misdemeanors) to huh? (Melinda and Melinda) I use the term “huh?” to describe this film because it seems so unnecessary. Allen has nothing to prove, so why does he keep churning out mediocre films? He made his last meaningful work (Mighty Aphrodite) 10 years ago. At this point, it seems like he’s losing control of the craft. The dialogue is better suited for a high school play, and the actors don’t move naturalistically through the screen at all. There is no

—Jon Ralston

The Interpreter

shortage of talent here though, mainly because most actors would give five years of their life to work with Allen, but even legitimate talents such as Ferrell, Chloë Sevigny, Radha Mitchell, Amanda Peet and Wallace Shawn can’t dig through the wooden script. The plot centers around a dinner conversation between a group of friends. One asks whether life is comic or tragic. In order to spark debate, he furnishes a tale about Melinda, a divorced mother who returns to New York. The friends then take turn telling Melinda’s story as either a tragedy or comedy. Two separate scenarios unfold — one with Melinda as a pill-popping, suicidal misfit, and the other with Melinda in the center of a cute love triangle. At times Allen’s trademark wit shines through. But all too often the plot unfolds like a boring soap opera. The characters are so self-absorbed it is impossible to invest emotionally in the outcome of the film. And while this film is purportedly about the interplay of comedy and tragedy, the comedy is nowhere near Allen’s potential, and the only tragedy is that a master filmmaker’s abilities seem to have diminished so much these days.

—Will Lamborn

Melinda and Melinda

Primer Movie (✰✰✰1/2) DVD (two stars)
PG-13, 78 minutes How often does an original film come out? While we can argue all day just how many creative films come out each year, I’m sure we would all agree that too few are released. So what happens when a truly intelligent and inventive movie comes out? Well, then you have Primer. Primer is notable for several reasons. The first is that it won the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival last year. The second is that it won despite having been made for about $7000. That’s just more than half the price of a Kia Spectra. In an age of bloated sci-fi flicks (Star Wars III anyone?) with costs pushing $115 million, it’s refreshing to see a film that was made on a budget that actually uses science to explore moral dilemmas, which is the purpose of science fiction anyway. The film revolves around a group of engineers who spend their weekends trying to invent the next big thing. They dink around in a garage, talk shop and fight among themselves. Eventually two of them realize that they’re stumbling onto something big and begin working on their own. The two, David Sullivan and Shane Carruth (who also wrote, produced, directed, and scored the film) eventually

Primer

Suspect Zero Movie: (✰) DVD: (✰1/2)
R, 99 Minutes, DVD Rental From the director of The Shadow of the Vampire, E. Elias Merhige and starring no less than Ben Kingsley, Aaron Eckhart (of Erin Brockovich) and Carrie Ann Moss (of The Matrix trilogy), this serial killer film falls short of what could have been a decent thriller. Detective Tom Mackelway is mysteriously linked to a serial killer who seems to be one step ahead of him at every turn, killing the criminals Mackelway pursues and leaving notes at the crime scenes. The usual psychological breakdown ensues, as he is dragged down into the mind of the serial killer, discovering why this man is killing the people he is, and how Mackelway himself is mentally involved in the murders. Although well made, with some nice shots and beautiful scenery and camerawork, the filmmaking lacks any storytelling qualities that would interest an audience. The characters are underdeveloped and one-dimensional, which essentially takes any emotional connection out of the film. The idea behind the story could have been better executed if the film hadn’t relied so much on Aaron Eckhart, who doesn’t have the presence of a leading man, and Moss plays a non-character who
Suspect Zero

find out that they’ve invented a machine where time travels backward. By sitting in the machine for six hours, they go back six hours in time instead of forward. They know it works because they see themselves leaving the machine. So what do they do? What anyone would do — try to get rich. They go back and start trading stocks, but eventually greed conquers all. They begin to travel back multiple times, until there are multiple “thems” existing at one time. So they begin to drug themselves in order to keep themselves from ruining their future plans in the past. Sound confusing? It is. But inside this Rubik’s cube of a film reside a litany of questions about self, causality, trust and avarice. It’s not easy to wrap your mind around this movie, but at least it’s one of the films out there that doesn’t assume the audience is stupid.

—Will Lamborn

should either have been brought more into the foreground, or left out altogether. Kingsley always gives a semi-decent performance, and he is the best thing in the film, but you wonder why he put his name down to this, after last year’s amazing House of Sand and Fog. But even if the film had focused on better characters and performances, the script didn’t give the actors much to work with, and gradually gets worse and worse, which by the third act is tiresome. The best way to see this film is to watch Silence of the Lambs and Seven, because just about all of the material in this movie seems to be taken from them. The DVD package isn’t bad for a film such as this, and better films often have fewer extras. It boasts a four-part featurette on the making of the film, an alternate ending, which is always interesting and a commentary by the director. As well as this, there are a few other bits and pieces such as trailers and previews, but overall the special features don’t make this a DVD worth getting, because it’s not a movie worth watching. —Michael Boyd

everyday.

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Volume 2
Subliminal Sounds!
And we thought the Western world had that whole tripped out psychedelic rock scene on the lock down in the 1960’s. This second compilation from Subliminal Sounds gives a glimpse into what was going down in the “Land of Smile” way back when dropping acid was still good for you. As American soldiers were invading South-Eastern Asia, so was the culture of rock n’ roll. Thai Beat A Go-Go features American pop songs such as “All Shook Up” and “Shimmy Shimmy Ko Ko

Bop,” covered by some of Thailand’s more prominent lounge acts of the era. The Lo-Fi production exemplifies the authenticity of these go-go groups, capturing the energy and texture of these bands in a live environment. Most of the songs do well in striking a balance between making the songs recognizable and maintaining a uniquely Far-East flavor that at some points outdoes the originals. Recordings such as these are nearly impossible to come by which makes this collection something of a lost treasure. A lot of these songs may sound like gimmicks upon first listen, but once you get past the language barrier you discover

there’s something downright radical going on. There’s an urgency blaring from this otherwise ‘fun’ record; one of two very different worlds colliding at a time in history when both cultures were experiencing so much turmoil. All the while rock n’ roll was bringing people together and keeping them sane.

Grade: B
—Ryan McBee

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Video games
Close Combat: First to Fight
Xbox, PC
When I was in high school, I wanted to do one of two things with life: work in the gaming industry or be a Marine. I was hoping this game would fuse my love for video games and the appeal of the Marines. Unfortunately, anyone who plays this game will wonder why the United States hasn’t been invaded. The first thing I did was watch as one single terrorist wiped out my entire squad as they sat in a crouched position and were shot. After a while, the game began to feel like an escort mission. The artifical intelligence is terrible. Your squad will stand in the open and be shot. They won’t watch your back and the only thing that sounds impressive, a room take-down, means the guy in front gets sacrificed while you storm into a room filled with enemies. The controls are unlike any other firstperson shooter and you only use one gun through most of the game. In the tutorial the game explains that each member of your squad is assigned a different direction to watch so that the squad isn’t sneaked up on. This sounds good but it runs into problems when several enemies approach from the same direction. The member of your squad looking that direction will open fire on the incoming enemies, but the guys next to him will mostly keep pointed in the same direction they are assigned. That, along with the fact that your guys can’t hit anything, means you end up shooting all the time. After playing first-person shooters based on World War II and the upcoming Star Wars movie, I was psyched to play one based on modern-day weapons and military tactics. This, however, is by far the least fun game I’ve played all semester. I just hope the Marine Corps isn’t relying on this game to boost enlistment.

Grade: D—Dan Hoyt

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Musashi: Samurai Legend
PS2
He may be taller and his hair a different color, but make no mistake, this is the Brave Fencer that once graced the PS1 in his first adventure. Now he has come back to save another world in danger. The evil Gandrake Empire has been kidnapping Mystics, people with the ability to perform magic, to further its goal of world domination. In hopes of stopping this plan, Princess Mycella performs the hero summon in hopes of saving her people. Now in order to get back to his home world, Musashi must fight his way through a slew of bad guys to save the

princess and the world from the Gandrake Empire. While the game does have elements of an RPG in it, it is mostly an action-adventure game. When you see an enemy in front of you, you use your swords to cut anything that gets in your way. As you gain levels, you power up Musashi with better stats. You can enhance his defense, focusing capabilities and special moves. The graphics are decent. The cartoonish shading makes the game look like something out of a comic book. It doesn’t go for realism, but I doubt that’s what the designers intended to do. Musashi can still learn the powers of his enemies. When the lock-on cursor glows blue, it means they have an ability you can

still learn. Once your focus meter is filled, you must wait for the opponent to attack you with the appropriate move. When you see the exclamation point, you must quickly press the attack button and then perform the appropriate command. Once you do that, you have the enemy’s attack at your disposal. Musashi: Samurai Legend is a pretty

straightforward game. The story of saving the princess is nothing new, so you can get into it pretty easily. There are a few things to get around, but it’s a fun game and easy to enjoy.

Grade: B—Chris Moore

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Thursday is

Urine for a story
of Spandex and sorrow
An almost undefeated season and the shorts that defeated me
By Steve Vockrodt, special to Jayplay
Illustration by Scott Drummond

Right about this time last spring
marks the one-year anniversary of when I pissed away a potential professional sports career. Literally. Last year’s Kansas Relays was my first race back from a broken foot that I had suffered in an indoor track meet at Iowa State a couple months before. Feeling deprived and depraved from not running, I was pleased to learn I would get to race in the 1,500-meter run for the Thursday Distance Carnival at the Relays. I had only been running for a couple weeks and was pitifully out of shape. With the idea that expectations were low, I decided to have a bit of fun with the race and donned a pair of Spandex shorts for the race. The Spandex was a departure from the Daisy Duke running shorts typically fashioned by distance runners. They reveal most of my legs, a little bit of my ass, a whole lot of my soul and rob me of all my dignity. Kansas hasn’t embraced the sport of running like my native Colorado does, so wearing such shorts around town earn catcalls in the streets and much derision among my colleagues at The University Daily Kansan.

I toed the line of my heat at the Kansas Relays and was predictably the only runner wearing the tight, frontally-revealing Spandex shorts. The race started as ugly as I had expected. Early on, I was six or seven seconds behind everybody. Magically, I took the lead with half a lap remaining and miraculously won my heat of the race. Most athletes in post-competition interviews will thank God, the Lord, Jesus, Allah or some higher being for their victory. I had my Spandex shorts to thank, believing they were the only reason I was able to cross the line first. I won my next race in Tulsa with the Spandex shorts as well. It soon became apparent that I was unbeatable in the constricting shorts. I was undefeated in head-to-head competition in them. This was a good thing because the next race was the Big 12 Championships in Norman, Okla. I started my typical pre-race ritual that day. Seeing how it was a big race, I was a bit nervous. Combine that with the huge amounts of water and coffee I had drunk before the race, and nature was calling pretty hard. I checked my watch and found that I had four minutes before I would have to report

to the starting line. The Texas good ol’ boy who runs these bigger track meets doesn’t mess around and no race will start late on his watch. With this in mind, I figured I had three minutes to go to the bathroom because with this guy, you’re a minute early or you’re late. I jogged to the bathroom and stepped up to the urinal in my Spandex shorts to relieve myself. When nothing happened, I chalked it up to a case of nervousness, which would have seemed unnecessary because I was undefeated that outdoor season in tight shorts. But as soon as I pulled them up, I somehow “sprung a leak.” Humiliated, I glanced down to see a growing wet spot in my shorts. But that fleeting embarrassment would be nothing compared to the disgrace I would be met with if I went out to the track and raced in front of hundreds of people, a crowd that included one of my best friends from high school. I figured I would have enough time to run a few strides and air dry it out, but it didn’t help at all. I saw that I only had one

m i n u t e before I had to head out to the track. I made the hasty decision to change into my Daisy Dukes and got to the track just in time to hear the meet official scream at me, “Kansas! What the hell are ya doin’?” as he saw me bound to the track later than everyone else. Because of the conversion of drawers, the race was a disaster. I was in last for most of it and managed to pass a couple runners from Texas and maybe one from Iowa State right near the end, sparing me from dead last, but interrupting what could otherwise have been an illustrious undefeated running career. What had always been a modest career of running at the University of Kansas saw a brief glimmer of hope and stardom in the three-week span that I went unbeaten, but I was quickly watered down back to the mediocre runner I had always been. Contact writer at:

svockrodt@kansan.com Vockrodt is the Kansan opinion editor

04.28.05 Jayplay

23

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