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February 16, 2006

BOARDWALK FIRE
a survivor speaks
23
BARISTAS
coffee shop extraordinaires
19 chrome on the range
pimp your ride
12
IF SNOOP DOGG STarTS rOCKIN
26-INCH aLuMINuM-FOIL COVereD
CarbON-FIber FIVe STarS IN HIS
NeXT VIDeO, WILL THaT be
THe NeW HOT TreND?
Jayplay Jayplay
JAYPLAYERS
Drivingtime, forme, is
synonymouswithpanictime.
Icanneitherreadamapnor
seewellatnight; Idonthavea
senseofdirection(never
mindagoodone); and
bothdepthperception
andtimingareserious
challenges. Ideviseways
tostayoutofthedrivers
seat.
Needlesstosay, Ive
neverbeenreallyinto
cars. Imstilldriving(whenIhave
to)the94OldsmobilethatIgot
usedfromGrandmain2000, and
Idonthaveadesiretoreplace
it. Ithinkofcarsasameansto
getfromAtoBandavenuefor
wretchedsolosinging, andthats
aboutit. Theextentof
myvehiculardecorating
isarosaryontherear-
viewmirror(Ineedall
thehelpIcanget)and
someredscratcheson
thefrontrightfrom
anunfortunate2002
incidentinMcCollums
parkinglotinvolvingaparkedcar.
SoIwasimpressedwiththe
tremendousinvestmentthemen
inFredA. DavisIIIsarticlehave
madeintheirwheels. Inever
wouldhavethoughttoputshiny
stuffonmycartosymbolize
wealth, statusandhardwork. But
nowIknowitmakesaneffective
(albeitobnoxious)statement.
Andtheyearnedit, too.
Lovethemorfearthem, a
carismorethanjustwheeled
metalthatgetsyouaroundits
representativeofitsowner.
Whichmakesme, evidently, as
coolasamid-90sgrandma.
NatalieJohnson
EDITORS NOTE
EDITOR THESTAR
NatalieJohnson
ASSOCIATEEDITOR THERAMDOG
LindseyRamsey
CLERK GETSAROUNDTOWN
AndrewCampbell
DESIGNERS MAKEITPRETTY
BeckaCremer
JackyCarter
PHOTOGRAPHER TELLMEWHATYOU
NEED
KitLeffer
COPYEDITOR MAKESITRIGHT
LindseySt. Clair
TaraSchupner
BITE ALWAYSHASTHEMUNCHIES
MelissaByrd
CarrieHillard
ErinWisdom
OUT HITSTHETOWN
DavidHeller
CharissaYoung
NOTICE TAKESNOTEOFIT
LizNartowicz
MalindaOsborne
CarolynTharp
HEALTH KEEPSTHEDOCTORAWAY
MarionHixon
JasonShaad
CONTACT HELPSYOURLOVELIFE
StefanieGraves
KristenMaxwell
RachelZupek
CREATIVECONSULTANT KNOWS
ALOT
CarolHolstead
WRITETOUS
jayplay06@gmail.com
JAYPLAY
TheUniversityDailyKansan
111Stauffer-FlintHall
1435JayhawkBlvd.
Lawrence, KS66045
02

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 19
12
TABLE OF CONTENTS
OUT
life as a barista
NOTICE
what the right bra does for you
REVIEWS
we tell you what we think
SPEAK
boardwalk fre survivor
23
20
15
BITE
comfort food
HEALTH
tattoo removal
8
6
CALENDAR
whats going on
3
CONTACT
love after graduation
FEATURE
chrome fever
8
9
Dead Presidents Sale at
hobbs
hobbs
.
.
Old discounts are dead!
Big Selection of Fall/Winter
Premium Denim, Sportswear, Shoes,
Outerwear...
All kinds of Stuff!
Starts NOW thru
Presidents Day
New Deal
65%-70%-75%
7th & Mass 331-4622
Pay with your Dead Presidents
and get an additional 5% Off!
(Cash)
(2/20)
C
Concert: Visiting Artist Series
with David Kassler, tuba.
Swarthout Recital Hall, Murphy
Hall, 7:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.ku.edu
Embodiment. Spencer Museum
of Art, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Film: The Last Emperor.
Spencer Museum of Art
Auditorium, 6 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Flowers, Dragons and Pine
Trees: Asian Textiles in the
Spencer Museum of Art.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 9 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Gallery Conversations: Karley
Ast and Maureen Warren,
graduate students in art
history, on Embodiment.
Spencer Museum of Art, 12:15
p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
High on Fire, The Bronx, Big
Business, Buried Inside, Lethe,
Bottleneck, 6 p.m., all ages, $11,
www.bottleneck.com
Kurt Lightner: Five Acres.
Kemper Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 4 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
kemperart.org*
Less Than Jake, Granada,
6 p.m., all-ages, $16, www.
thegranada.com
Medium Man on Campus
with Comedian Mike
Birbiglia. Kansas Union
Ballroom, 7:30 p.m., all ages, $5
with a KU student ID, $10 for
general public, www.ku.edu

Outlaw Jake, Tripp Algiers,
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $3,
www.jazzhaus.com
The Plastic Constellations,
Atone At Tone, Ricky Fitts,
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2,
www.replaylounge.com
Theory of a Deadman,
Beaumont Club, 8 p.m., all-ages,
$10, 816.561.2580*
Walter Alias, Grand Emporium,
8 p.m., 21+, FREE, www.
grandemporium.com*
a
l
e d
a
r
THURSDAY 2.16
FRIDAY 2.17
SATURDAY 2.18
Ad Astra Per Aspera.
Granada, 9 p.m., 18+, $5, www.
thegranada.com
David Sanborn and Chris
Botti. Beaumont Club, 6 p.m.,
all ages, $25-$30, www.kcclubs.
com/beaumont.cfm*
Drakkar Sauna and
Impossible Shapes. Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $5-$7,
www.thejackpotsaloon.com
Embodiment. Spencer
Museum of Art, 10 a.m. to 5
p.m., FREE, www.spencerart.
ku.edu
Flowers, Dragons and Pine
Trees. Spencer Museum of Art,
10 a.m. to 5 p.m., FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Gordon Parks at Home and
Abroad: A Small Selection.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., FREE, www.spencerart.
ku.edu
Karma, then DJ Mell. VooDoo
Lounge at Harrahs Casino, 7
p.m., 21+, $10 after 10 p.m.,
www.voodookc.com*
Nine Inch Nails. Kemper Arena,
8 p.m., all ages, $35-$40, www.
kemperarenakc.com*
Outlaw Jim and the Whiskey
Benders, The Pembertons.
Daveys Uptown Bar, 10 p.m.,
21+, $6, www.daveysuptown.
com*
Pomeroy, Lucky Boys
Confusion, Aubrey.
Bottleneck, 8 p.m., 18+, $5-$7,
www.bottlenecklive.com
Slow Music Marathon:
Terrestrial Consort. Kemper
Museum of Contemporary Art,
10 a.m. to 4 p.m., FREE, www.
kemperart.org
Socco & Vanzetti. Gaslight
Tavern, 9 p.m., 18+, $3, www.
gaslighttavern.com
Film: Rent. Kansas Union,
Woodruff Autidorium, 7 p.m.,
all ages, $2 or free with Activity
Card, www.suaevents.com
Rent is the most accessible
musical experience since
Chicago. Its got sex, drag queens,
and heroin what more could
you ask for?
Trucker with Psilenus. Grand
Emporium, 8 p.m., 21+, FREE,
www.kcclubs.com/grandemp.
cfm*
True North with Jared Pete
Gile. Jazzhaus, 9 p.m., 21+, $4,
www.jazzhaus.com
A Conversation With Scott
Turow. Hall Center, 10 a.m., all
ages, FREE, www.hallcenter.
ku.edu
African American History:
Why Its Important and How
to Save it. Lawrence Public
Library, 6:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.lawrence.lib.ks
Architects, The Capes, The
Armory. Jackpot Saloon,
10 p.m., 18+, $5-$7, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com
Canadas Royal Winnipeg
Ballet in The Magic Flute. Lied
Center, 7:30 p.m., all ages, $19-
$44, www.lied.ku.edu
Cosmic Bowling. Jaybowl,
11 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
suaevents.com
Sean Costello, Jazzhaus, 10
p.m., 21+, $5, www.jazzhaus.
com
Cowboy Mouth, Voo Doo
Lounge, 8 p.m., 21+, $15, www.
VooDooKC.com*
Effective Models for
Mentoring Graduate
Students. Alderson
Auditorium, 3:30 p.m., all ages,
FREE, 864-4606
Electromediascope: Love
and Obsession. Nelson-Atkins
Museum, 7 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.nelson-atkins.org
Everyday Creativity. Kansas
Union, 11:30 a.m., Kansas Union,
all ages, FREE, 864-4946
The Giraffes, The Hurricane,
9:30 p.m., 21+, $6, 816.753.0884*
Gordon Parks At Home and
Abroad: A Small Selection.
Spencer Museum of Art, all ages,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Mest. Granada, 5:30 p.m., all-
ages, $15, www.thegranada.
com
Peace, War & Global Change
Seminar. Hall Center, 4 p.m., all
ages, FREE, 864-4798
Film: Rent. Kansas Union,
Woodruff Autidorium, 7 p.m.,
all ages, $2 or free with Activity
Card, www.suaevents.com
Scotty & the Soultones. Uncle
Bos T-town Bar, 8:30 p.m., 21+,
$3, www.unclebos.com*
The Curator is IN! Nelson-
Atkins Museum, 7 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.nelson-atkins.org
Yakurr Ritual Performances:
A Plea for a Voice in a De-
Centered Global World. Hall
Center, 1:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,
864-4798
Beaumont Club
4050 Pennsylvania Avenue,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-2560
Boobie Trap Bar
1417 SW 6th St.,
Topeka
785-232-9008
Daveys Uptown
3402 Main St.,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-1909
Grand Emporium
3832 Main St.,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-531-1504
The Hurricane
4048 Broadway,
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-0884
Kemper Arena
1800 Genessee,
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 513-4000
Kemper Museum of Art
4420 Warwick Blvd.,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-3737
Uncle Bos T-Town Bar
420 S.E. Sixth St.,
Topeka
(785) 234-5400
Uptown Theater
3700 Broadway,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-8665
VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs
Casino
777 Casino Center Dr.,
Hazelwood, Mo.
(314) 770-8100
WHERE
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 03
DrewDavis Band
The Down Trunks Pomeroy
The Dating Doctor Rent
The Vagina Monologues
*
Sean Costello
Two Cultures
Theory of a Deadman Ad Astra Per Aspera
TUESDAY 2.21
The BoDeans. VooDoo Lounge
at Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+,
$20, www.voodookc.com*
Flowers, Dragons and Pine
Trees: Asian Textiles in the
Spencer Museum of Art.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
s pencer ar t . ku. edu
Gordon Parks At Home and
Abroad: A Small Selection.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Nomy Lamm, Rita Brinkerhoff,
The Burly-Q Girly Crew
Burlesque Troupe. Jackpot
Saloon, 9 p.m., 18+, $5-$7, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com
Sorta. Replay Lounge, 10 p.m.,
21+, $2, www.replaylounge.com
Trampled by Turtles, Jeff and
Vida. Bottleneck, 9 p.m., 18+, $6,
www.bottlenecklive.com
Two Cultures: Collection.
Natural History Museum, 9 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, nhm.
ku. edu
The Undertow Orchestra.
Granada, 9 p.m., all ages, $12,
www.thegranda.com
04

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
WEDNESDAY 2.22
BFA Art Exhibition. Art and
Design Gallery, 8:30 a.m. to
4:30 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
ku.edu/~sfa/
The Dating Doctor. Kansas
Union, Woodruff Auditorium,
7:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,
suaevents.com
Distance To Empty,
Anchondo, Gryphn. Granada, 9
p.m., 18+, $4, www.thegranada.
com
GoGoGo Airheart, Subtitles.
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2,
www.replaylounge.com
Gordon Parks At Home and
Abroad: A Small Selection.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
John Corbett. Grand
Emporium, 8 p.m., 21+, $15,
www.kcclubs.com*
Paintings and Drawings by
Ivan Fortushniak. Lawrence
Arts Center, 7 to 9 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.lawrenceartscenter.
com
Presidential Lecture Series
2006: Mary Beth Cahill,
John Kerrys presidential
campaign manager and Tom
Daffron, Elizabeth Doles
2000 presidential campaign
manager. Dole Institute of
Politics, 7:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.doleinstitute.org
Sigur Rs. Uptown Theater,
7:30 p.m., all ages, $30, www.
uptowntheater.com*
MONDAY 2.20
BFA Art Exhibition. Art and
Design Gallery, 8:30 to 4:30
p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
ku.edu/~sfa/
Explore Evolution. Natural
History Museum, 9 a.m. to 5
p.m., all ages, FREE, nhm.
ku. edu
Film: Go. Kansas Union,
Woodruff Auditorium, 7 p.m., all
ages, FREE, www.ceas.ku.edu/
Motion City Soundtrack, OK
GO, Plain White Ts, The Spill
Canvas. Granada,
5:30 p.m., all ages, $15, www.
thegranada.com
Paintings and Drawings by
Ivan Fortushniak. Lawrence
Arts Center, 7 to 9 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.lawrenceartscenter.
com
Poor Miners Union. Gaslight
Tavern, 9 p.m., 21+, $3, www.
gaslighttavern.com
The Spanktones Open Jam.
Jazzhaus, 9 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
jazzhaus.com
Two Cultures: Collection.
Natural History Museum, 9 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, nhm.
ku. edu
SUNDAY 2.19
Chasing Victory, A River Forth,
Reign of 1,000, Thou Bleeding
Earth. Boobie Trap Bar, 8 p.m.,
18+, $5-$6, www.boobietrapbar.
com*
Cover Wars Semi-Finals. Grand
Emporium, 7 p.m., 21+, FREE,
www.kcclubs.com*
Drew Davis Band. Beaumont
Club, 8 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
kcclubs.com*
Film: El Norte. Spencer
Museum of Art auditorium,
2 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
ku.edu/~latamst
Karaoke with Trent.
Bottleneck, 11 p.m., 18+, FREE-
$3, www.bottlenecklive.com
Kings of Swing. VooDoo
Lounge at Harrahs Casino, 3
p.m., 21+, $10 per couple, www.
voodookc.com*
Orthrelm and ZOMBI. Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $5, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com
Romancing by Candlelight.
Jazzhaus, 8 p.m., 21+, FREE,
www.jazzhaus.com
Smackdown Live Action Trivia.
Bottleneck, 8 p.m., 18+, $5,
www.bottlenecklive.com
Sunday Night Jazz. Eighth
Street Taproom, 10 p.m., 21+, $2,
785.841.6918
The Vagina Monologues.
Liberty Hall, 7:30 p.m., all ages,
$10, www.libertyhall.net
Flowers, Dragons and Pine Trees
Go
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JODMVEJOH
Potatoescauseleprosy?MonDieu!ThatswhattheFrenchbelievedupuntilthe18th
century. Ittookoneintrepidagronomist, Antoine-AugusteParmentier, toconvincethem
otherwise. HeperformedalittlereversepsychologyonhisfellowFrenchmenbyplacing
guardsaroundpotatofeldsduringthedaytopreventpeoplefromstealing. Convincedthat
theymustactuallybevaluable, peoplestartedstealingsacksofleprous potatoesatnight.
Merecenturieslater, thefrenchfrywasborn.
Source: www.foodreference.com
MelissaByrd
MIND YOUR
Isabonestuckinyourteeth?Didyoueatsomethingyoucantbringyourselftoswallow?The
generalruleforremovingfoodfromyourmouthisthatitshouldgooutthesamewayitwentin,
sodropthebonesfromyourmouthontoafork. Fishbonesarealittledifferent. Itisacceptableto
removetinyboneswithyourfngers, sinceitwouldbemorediffculttodropthemontoafork. Ifwhat
youhavetospitoutisfaruglierthanbones, suchasafattypieceofmeat, slylyspititintoyournapkin
tokeepitoutofsight.
Source: http://www.cuisinenet.com
CarrieHillard
MANNERS
little-known food fact
Ms. Manners
BITE
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 05
COMFORT FOOD
KIT LEFFLER
Your soft spot for mashed potatoes may be more complex than you think.
When Lauren Taylor, Oklahoma City
senior,misses home or is stressed about
school, she fnds solace in chicken
enchilada casserole with green chilis.
Its a dish her mom makes and, like
any comfort food worth its calories in
warm, tasty goodness, it has the ability
to restore that sense of safety and
protection she felt as a child.
Anyone who has a consistent,
three-meal-a-day relationship with
food knows it does more than meet
physical needs. We were designed
to enjoy food (which is fortunate,
because otherwise the whole eating
thing would get old), and food has
an undeniable impact on mind,
body and soul. But what determines
the psychological effects of a food?
In particular, what makes comfort
food comforting? Research indicates
that while peoples comfort food
preferences tend to be similarly
rooted in positive experiences,
these preferences may vary greatly
between younger and older people
and between men and women.
What is a comfort food?
The quality that makes a food
comforting is a perfect blend of
physiological benefts like fat, sugar and
salt, and specifc psychological benefts
a person has come to associate with that
food., says Brian Wansink, director of the
Food and Brand Lab at Cornell University.
Contrary to popular belief, a signifcant
portion (40 percent) of common comfort
foods are healthy, and preferences for
these foods do not have to be formed as
children. Many can be formed as adults,
Wansink says all it takes is repeated
positive associations.
Certain comfort foods, such
as soup, seem to be consistent
throughout North American
culture, says Karen Ciancio, creator
of www.cookingnook.com. We most
often seek these foods when we
are at either end of the emotional
spectrum when we are distressed
and want foods like chili and
biscuits, or when we feel the need
to celebrate and want cookies and
ice cream, she says.
Most of the time were in the
middle of the spectrum, eating salad,
Ciancio says. But a salad doesnt cut
it when were exceptionally happy or
exceptionally sad.
The buzz factor
Young people tend to have more of
a hankering for snack-related comfort
foods than older people do, Wansink
found in a 2003 study published in
the journal Physiology and Behavior.
Snack foods, such as potato chips, ice
cream and cookies, tend to be high
in favor, and these favor-saturated
foods appeal to the sensory-oriented
18-to-34 age group, he says.
They get a greater buzz from
them,Wansink says.
Older people, he found, were more
likely to prefer meal-related comfort
foods, such as steak and casseroles.
More than PMS
Women do seem to be more drawn
to chocolate than men, but perhaps
not entirely for hormonal reasons. In
his study, Wansink found that while
men tended to prefer meal-related
comfort foods, woman prefered ones
that were snack-related.
This may be because men tend
to be accustomed to having meals
prepared for them and therefore
associate meal-related foods with
being cared for, he says. But women
tend to associate these foods with
work and therefore find comfort in
foods that require little preparation,
like snack foods. If gender roles in
regard to meal preparation are
to become less defined, comfort
food preferences might change
dramatically. More people would
associate meal-related foods with
work, which would make them less
popular, Wansink says.

Its the little things that count
Unlike a majority of the people in
Wansinks study,Devin Airey,Overland
Park freshman, grew up having her
dad cook for her. Dishes he made,
such as chicken and dumplings and
a special green bean dish, top her list
of comfort foods. Not only do these
foods say home to her, but they also
remind her of her dad having meals
ready when she would come home
from work past dinner time.
My dad is really understanding
of what my life is like and how hard
it is, so its good to be taken care of
sometimes, Airey says. Food may
seem like the least of my worries, but
its the little things that count.
Check out these survey results to see how
your favorite comfort foods ranked in
popularity among more than 400 people.
SNACK-RELATED FOODS
23 % Potato chips
14% Ice cream
12% Cookies
11% Candy/chocolate
MEAL-RELATED FOODS
11% Pasta or pizza
9% Steak or beef burgers
9% Casseroles or side dishes
7% Vegetables or salads
4% Soup
Source: Exploring comfort food preferences
across age and gender, Physiology &
Behavior, 2003.
THE KINGS OF
COMFORT CUISINE
by Erin Wisdom
FOR THOUGHT
BITE
06

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
Next time the hiccups are plaguiNg you,
try these uNcoNveNtioNal solutioNs:
tip
Tug forcefully on your tongue.
Raise your uvula (hangy-ball at the back
of your mouth) with a spoon.
Tickle the roof of your mouth with a
cotton swab at the point where the hard
and soft palates meet.
Chew dry bread and swallow.
Always remember that it could be worse.
Charles Osborne of Anthon, Iowa got the
hiccups in 1922 and couldnt stop until
1987.
Source: Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology
and The Doctors Book of Home Remedies
Marion Hixon
Laughing for 10 to 15 minutes each day can burn up
to 4 pounds of fat over a years time, reports Maciej
Buchowski of Vanderbilt University. While youre not
likely to burn calories from the bacon cheeseburger
you had at lunch, itll look like you never ate those
Hersheys Kisses
Source: Vanderbilt Medical Center
Marion Hixon
DiD yoU KnoW
HEALTH
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 07
CUT IT OUT!
Campus coupons
coming soon to a Kansan near you
Fall 2004
CUT IT OUT!
Campus coupons
coming soon to a Kansan near you
Fall 2004
Tara Gilliland was terrifed.
She wasnt worried about her
family or her life or anything that
would strike others as particularly
important. Butconsideringherfear
of needles, its easy to understand
whyGillilandwassojittery: shewas
gettingherfrsttattoo.
Withheryoungerbrotheralong
for support, she quelled her fears.
After half an hour of feeling like
someonewasscrapingametalfork
acrossherlefthip, Gillilandhadher
frst tattoo: a four-leaf clover the
sizeofahalf-dollarcoin.
Thenshereallyfreakedout.
Ithought, WhatdidIdo?When
Im80yearsoldImgoingtoregret
this, says the Huntsville, Ala.,
graduate student. I didnt know
whattodo.
Although there are a lot worse
things to have permanently inked
on your body for the rest of your
life like a piece of Swiss cheese
or an ex-boyfriends name even
the tamest tattoos can become
undesirable over time. Long-
sleeved clothes and make-up are
only temporary solutions to a
permanent problem. For students
who really regret their ill-fated ink
there is only one solution: surgical
tattooremoval.
Laser removal
Anything procedure involving a
laser in it may make long-sleeved
clothes suddenly more appealing.
But it shouldnt. Laser removal is
an effective and relatively painless
way to remove tattoos, says
Robert Dinsdale, a surgical doctor
at Lawrence Otolaryngology
Associates.
Afteranestheticcreamisapplied
and gauze placed over it, a small
laser traces around the tattoo.
Energy from the laser enters the
ink pigment and breaks apart its
structure. The bodys scavenger
cells then clean out the ink as the
skin heals, which takes about six
weeks.
Theentireprocessshouldnthurt
anymorethangettingthetattooin
thefrstplace, Dinsdalesays.
Itslikeahardrubberbandsnap
andthenlikeasunburnafterwards,
hesays.
The length of each laser session
and the number of times it has
to be repeated depends on the
tattoos size and number of colors.
Red and yellow need one type of
laser; blue, greenandblackrequire
another.
And almost every kind of tattoo
requires more than one session
because the laser doesnt lift ink
outoftheskin, butmerelymakesit
fade, Dinsdalesays.
We cant guarantee there is
no ink, he says. But we can get
to a point where the image isnt
discernableasanimageanymore.
Cut it out
If blasting a laser at your skin
multiple times doesnt sound
appealing, excision is a quicker
(although equally intimidating)
way to remove small tattoos. Its
alsotheonlywaytoguaranteethat
alltheinkisgone.
Excisioninvolvescuttingoutthe
tattooed area. For small tattoos,
excision requires only one visit to
thesurgeon.
Thetrade-offisscarring. Whereas
laserremovalmaymakethetattoo
areablisterforafewweeks, excision
leavesbehindapermanentscar.
Still, many people prefer to
explainascarthananembarrassing
tattoo, says Lee Bittenbender, a
dermatologist who has removed
several dozen tattoos during his
career.
Dermabrasion
Dermabrasion basically sands
off a tattoo. The skin is frmed with
a freezing refrigerant spray. Then a
spinningdiamond-cappedfray, like
the tip of a small, cylinder-shaped
sander, grazesthetattoo.
It treats a tattoo like a stain on
a piece of wood, he says. Its like
using sandpaper to remove the
stain, Bittenbendersays.
During the process, the top
layersofskincomeoffandsodoes
someoftheinkpigment. Likelaser
removal, dermabrasion relies on
the bodys scavenger cells to help
remove ink pigment during a six-
week healing process. During that
time, your skin looks and feels like
arugburn, Bittenbendersays.
After six weeks, you can repeat
the process until the tattoo fades
and you can forget about the time
you decided you couldnt live
without the supposed Japanese
symbol for bravery inked across
yourshoulder.
Last Resort
Although tattoo removal is
possible, doctors and tattoo artists
alike agree that people who get
tattoosshouldplanonhavingthem
forever.
Besides the added expense
$300 or more no matter how
you do it tattoo removal is akin
todestroyingapartofyourself, says
StacyDaugherty, ownerandtattoo
artistatBigDaddyCadillacstattoo
andpiercing, 16E. 8
th
St.
To Daugherty, tattoos are
deeply personal, and although
he understands that there are
situations that warrant removal,
hewouldneverconsiderremoving
anyofhisownink.
Itskindoflikeabortiontome,
Daughertysays.
People shouldnt use tattoo
removal asascapegoatforgetting
tattoos theyre unsure about, he
says.
Bittenbender agrees. Although
most of his patients are in their
30s and 40s, Bittenbender advises
students to avoid impulsive (and
inebriated) decisions and to think
long and hard about what theyre
goingtopermanentlyprintontheir
bodies.
I ask most people to tell me
abouttheirtattoosanditsamazing
how many times their concluding
remarkisandthatwasthestupidest
thingIeverdid, hesays.
The fnal decision
For two days Gilliland thought
maybe she had just made a stupid
mistake. Herbrothersfriendwasin
theprocessofremovingatattoohe
didntlike, andGillilandwonderedif
maybesheshoulddothesame.
I thought, Oh my gosh. Im not
going to be able to afford to get
thisremoved.
After two days, the freak-out
ended and Gilliland came to terms
with her tattoo. She realized she
liked the clover. It represented her
heritageandabondtoherbrother,
whogothisfrsttattooonthesame
day.
Now, Gilliland wouldnt even
considerremovinghertattoo.
Since those frst two days I
haventhadanyregrets, shesays.I
loveit.
86-ing YOUR inKHow to fght that hideous acne
Photoscourtesyblahblah.
Patients identitiesprotected
byHealthInsurance
PortabilityandAccountability
Act.

by Jason Shaad
BEFORE &
AFTER
BEFORE
AFTER
BEFORE
AFTER
SCOTTKASERMAN
HEALTH
08

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
Romance meets
When college graduations divide couples
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 09
No other day in the year
highlights and celebrates
relationships more than this
past Tuesdays Valentines Day.
While couples shower each
other with flowers, chocolates
and other gifts, the singletons
sit at home and loathe the
holiday. However, theres one
othergrouptherestofusdont
seem to think about: couples
separated by one persons
graduation.
A study from Purdue
UniversitysCenterforStudying
Long Distance Relationships
foundthat25percentofcollege
students reported being in a
long-distance relationship and
78 percent reported having
beeninoneatonetimeduring
their college career. But along
with the new chapter of life
that begins after graduation
comes a world of difficulties.
There are new experiences,
new responsibilities and new
meanings to everything. Just
howdothesestudentsaffected
by graduation-separating
relationships make them work
when one partner has started
a new chapter in life and the
otherisleftbehind?
The success of a relationship
changed by graduation
dependsonavarietyoffactors,
including how long the couple
has been in the relationship,
future plans and how healthy
therelationshipistobeginwith,
says Frank DeSalvo, director of
Counseling and Psychological
Services.
I think the issue really
is about the nature of the
relationship,notthegeography,
DeSalvosays.
There can be difficulties, he
warns. For instance, in newer
relationships, DeSalvo says hes
seen graduates who couldnt
move on and their partner felt
left behind. People in long-
standing relationships usually
have made future plans and
have designated regular
meetingstohelpthembemore
successful,DeSalvosays.
Jamie Wilkerson, Omaha,
Neb., senior says that having
futureplanswithhergraduated
boyfriendmadetherelationship
alittleeasierbecausetheresan
end to the separation in sight.
Buttherestillarechallenges.
Wilkerson admits to getting
into stupid arguments out of
frustration that they cant be
together.
The Center for the Study of
Long Distance Relationships
and DeSalvo attribute
communication as the most
importantfactorinmaintaining
ahealthyrelationship. TheCAPS
offices most often see couples
who experience jealousy
because communication is
lacking and they do not feel
confident in their partners
dedication to the relationship,
DeSalvosays.
Wilkersons approach? She
and her boyfriend keep all lines
of communication open, from
instant messenger to talking on
thephoneaboutfvetimesaday.
Despitethelistofdifficulties,
there is no reason to fret.
Relationships are not always
doomed and do have positive
aspects. For one, couples are
forced to take a look at their
relationship and find out
what they mean to each other,
DeSalvo says. A long distance
relationship also requires the
couple to meet on a different
emotional level that they may
not have been used to or even
had the opportunity to do
while geographically together.
Wilkerson says that, now, she
and her partner dont take
the time they have together
for granted and enjoy being
togetherthatmuchmore.
Wilkersonoffersonepieceof
advice:Havealittlefaith.
Have faith in each other
knowingthattheyloveyoujustas
muchasyoulovethem,shesays.
You must understand that
the frustration is mutual and be
patientwitheachotheraswellas
with the relationship, Wilkerson
says.
In order to keep the
relationship healthy and
working, you have to start
with two emotionally healthy
individuals, DeSalvo says.
Both people involved in
the relationship have to be
independent individuals and in
the relationship because they
want to be, not because they
needtobe,hesays.
Overall, its not about the
geography. I see unhealthy
regular relationships and
healthy long-distance ones. Its
really not the distance that is
key, but the relationship itself.
DeSalvosays.
the real world
by Kristen Maxwell
CONTACT
SCOTTKASERMAN
Ithinktheissue reallyisaboutthe
natureoftherelationship,notthe
geography,
FrankDeSalvo,directorofcounselingand
psychologicalservices
Brian Bratichak
BITCH
+
moan
Jessica: Uhh, have you been
watching a lot of porn?
Because Im pretty sure I
saw that once in a porn. I
dont believe the semen is
supposed to come right back
out after youre done having
sex unless you go straight to
the bathroom afterwards. If
it does decide to come right
back out, I suggest doing
some Kegel exercises to
tighten your vaginal muscles.
Basically, squeeze the muscles
you squeeze when holding in
your pee. And do several of
those throughout the day. The
best part about this exercise
is it shouldnt make you sweat
and no one should know
youre doing them unless
their penis is inside of you.
Brian: Why dont you stop
having sex so much? Then his
stuff will stay right where its
supposed to. Also, have you
ever heard of a condom?
If a boy comes In you, Is It supposed to come
rIght back out after fInIshIng sex?
sara, freshman
Brian: If you value that time
specifcally with your girl friends
so much, you may want to invite
them to AA with you in a few
years. Its probably about time
that you did something that
your boyfriend wants to do,
considering hes been putting
up with your inebriated ass long
enough. Just because you want to
go out doesnt mean you should
neglect his wants. Stop being
selfsh and think about the man. If
you want the relationship, give in
to your boyfriend. If you want the
alcohol, stop breaking his heart
and just end the relationship.
Jessica: Hey, guess what? Your
boyfriends a control freak. Either
that or youre a boozehound.
Either way, I think you should ask
him what exactly he hates about
it and decide if you think its a
valid reason or not.Because you
drive home drunk falls under
the category of valid.Because
youre having fun without me
does not. You guys have to have
lives separate from each other.
If Mr. Overprotective doesnt get
that, and you know youre being
reasonable and not neglecting
him for time with your girls, leave
him at home permanently.
my boyfrIend hates
It when I go out
to drInk wIth my
frIends (hes not a
drInker), but I really
value that tIme wIth
them. what could
I do to make hIm
more comfortable
wIth my drInkIng
excursIons?
kara, senIor
Jessica: I know a lot of
people are anal-retentive
(pun intended) about
where they shit. Theyre
picky poopers in other
words, so its cool if youre
comfortable enough to drop
your doodies off at someone
elses pool. I think it depends
on the relationship you have
with the host or hostess,
but it seems that there
are defnite implied rules,
especially among females. If
its your boyfriend/girlfriend,
and youre staying over
regularly, I think you can
drop your deuce there.
An acquaintance? Hold
it. A close friend? Sure.
A co-worker? Hold it.
Just remember, if youre
gonna go through with it,
make sure theyve got air
freshener, body spray or a
fart fan switch.
Brian: I think when most of
you read that question, you
giggled. As funny as that
was when you read it, nearly
everyone will come across
this situation at some point
or another. Just evaluate
your options. If you realize
you have to go once you
get to someones place who
you dont know, hit up the
bathroom to be sure that
nothing slips out while
youre laughing hysterically
at a drunken friend. If its
a fairly good friend, do
your business like you own
the place. I think a better
question is,What do I do
if there is no toilet paper?
Dont pull a Ben Stiller in
Along Came Polly and use
her hand-sewn towels, but
be creative. Use the ads out
of a magazine lying around,
search for the end of the roll
or, last and defnitely least,
if at a girls place, look for a
feminine product. While the
thought might gross you
out, its defnitely better than
walking around with poopy
pants all night.
How long sHould you
know people Before
you Take a Crap In
THeIr BaTHroom?
sTaCIe, fresHman
Jessica Crowder
Please send your
questions to
bitch@kansan.com
10

Jayplay 02.16.2006
SUBSONIC SCOOTERS
:PVS)PNFUPXO4DPPUFS4PVSDF
High Gas Prices Slowing You Down:"
NEW SCOOTERS FROM $1099.00
624 N. 2nd
749-0200
www.subsonicscooters.com
-
P
W
F
(
B
S
E
F
O

4
P
V
O
E
T
The over-caffeinated world of coffee houses and the truth
behind the caramel macchiato
You roll over and hit the snooze button,
fnding it ridiculous that you could trust
yourself to wake up at 8 a.m. You return to
your slumber, hoping to fnish your dream
and never get out of bed. As you fade in
and out of consciousness, you should
know that there are people in Lawrence
who are already awake.
Theyre called barista
and theyre helping us all
wake up.
We have to be
caffeinated before the
rest of the world, says
Heather Augustine, a
barista at Zs Divine
Espresso, 1800 E. 23rd St.
Morning shifts start at
5:45 a.m., a time when
most students dont even
consider rolling over to
hit the snooze button.
And Valerie Baker, a
barista at the other Zs
Divine Espresso, 10 E.
9th St., often closes the
shop around 11 p.m. on
weeknights, when Mass
Street is dark and vacant.
So why rise earlier than
the sun and leave after
it sets just to grind some
beans? For one, theres
a huge coffee-drinking
population in Lawrence and no two
customers are the same. Baker says the job
is a strong networking tool that allows her
to meet interesting people, a bonus Kaki
Baird, San Antonio sophomore, also enjoys.
When I walk around on campus, I see
at least 10 people that I [served] the night
before, says the Java Break barista.
Baristas also get to work in a relaxed
atmosphere with easygoing co-workers.
It helps to have others sharing the
workload, especially when your offce is
full of potential friends and experiences.
For instance, over the past several years,
Baker and a fellow barista have realized
their mutual admiration for musician
David Gray and theyre planning a trip to
see him perform in Texas in March.
A love of music seems to be a recurring
and necessary theme for baristas. Each
store has distinctive mixes to satisfy
customers and maintain a comfortable
but upbeat environment.While Augustine
answers a drive-thru order at Zs Divine
Espresso, Ob-la-di Ob-la-da begins
playing. But their playlists have a broad
range from Old 97s and Patti Smith to
Cake and Nirvana. Music is also a big part
of the atmosphere at Signs of Life, 722
Mass. The shop features live folk music
on Tuesday nights, Americana Jams on
Wednesday nights and live local bands on
Friday nights. The different groups bring
in a wide variety of people, says Matt
Cisneros, San Juan, Texas junior and Signs
of Life barista.
Being surrounded by pounds of exotic
roasts and gallons of specialty coffees
adds to the jobs appeal. In their down
time, baristas get to experiment with
syrups and espressos and create new
drinks.
Augustine says the job
has helped her create quite
an addiction. Caffeine
doesnt even affect me
anymore, Augustine says.
Im pretty sure its in my
pores, actually.
Baker can withstand a
heavy dose of caffeine. If
I know Im going out that
night, Ill have six shots
of espresso, she says of
her stimulant of choice
the Rosetta espresso.
Despite the perks of
the job, poor customer
etiquette and cranky
coworkers mean the
cappuccino machine
might not be the only
thing steaming behind
the counter. If one
persons in a bad mood, it
can make the whole team
grouchy, Augustine says.
Another pet peeve
baristas deal with is when
customers are unaware of what they want
to order (or its correct term) when they
fnally reach the counter.
The most irritating thing is the people
that come in wanting a caramel macchiato
Ive been tempted to make an actual
caramel macchiato before just to see the
look on their face, Baker says, who gets
the request often. In reality, a caramel
macchiato is a double shot of espresso
with a dab of foam. If they got what
they asked for, most people would be
surprised to see so little in their cup. Since
Starbucks took the term and created their
own interpretation of the drink, coffee
drinkers usually expect (and should ask
for) a vanilla and caramel latte.
Baristas want you to appreciate the
individuality of each coffee shop and
know the lingo.Theres a larger world out
there than Starbucks, Cisneros says.
Concocting rare drinks, cooking up
food (places like Java Break and Miltons
offer a full menu 24 hours a day) and
serving customers can be rewarding, but
is often underappreciated.
The jobs not as relaxing as it looks,
Baird says.
Lawrence has an assortment of coffee
venues to choose from but, regardless of
where you end up, appreciate the person
behind the counter. And when your head
hits the pillow at night, remember that
theres a barista somewhere getting asked
for a caramel macchiato.
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 11
oUT
1 2 3 4
Baristas and brews
by Marion Hixon
FavoriTe drinks oF Those who know Them besT
KIT LEFFLER
Iced Americano: slow-
brewed espresso poured
over 4 oz of water and four
ice cubes
Kaki Baird, of JavaBreak
Irish Cream Latte: one
shot of espresso with
milk, topped off with Irish
Cream syrup and foam
Matt Cisneros, of Signs
of Life
Straight Black Coffee
Heather Augustine, of Zs
Divine Espresso
White Peony Tea: a
light, sweet tea thats
signifcantly healthier than
other teas
Valerie Baker, of Zs
Divine Espresso
Take a coFFee break
Henrys: 11 E. 8th St.,
open 24 hours a day
House of CHA: 21 W.
9th St.
Java Break: 17 E. 7
th
St.,
open 24 hours a day
J & S Coffee Co. Inc.:
4821 W. 6th St.
La Prima Tazza: 638
Massachusetts St.
Miltons Coffee: 920
Massachusetts St.
Pochi Tea Station:
125 E. 10th St.
Signs of Life: 722
Massachusetts St.
Starbucks: 647
Massachusetts St.
Zs Divine Espresso:
10 E. 9th St., 1800 E.
23rd St.
Dave Rue-
schoffs 2004
Mercedes
Benz CLK
500 has rims
Rueschoff
aquired
through
a rims
exchange pro-
gramat www.
oemrims.com.
12 JAYPLAY 02.16.2006 02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 13
CONTINUED ONPAGE 14
KIT LEFFLER
Its 1973 in Fayetteville,
North Carolina. A 17-year-
old Ronnie Chalmers, future
operations director for KUs
athletic department, has his car
parked in his driveway, and the
driveway is on a hill. Chalmers
rushes into his house; hes
running late for his part-time
job at the yarn factory.
When Chalmers returns to
the driveway, his 1962 light
blue a little darker than
Carolina blue Chevy Impala
isnt there. His first car, his three-
speed with large chrome wheels
on the back to complement
the smaller tires up front (sans
chrome), is gone. He finds it
parked at the bottom of the hill,
nestled uncomfortably beneath
an oak tree. The emergency
brake set while the car was
running gave out.
The Impala wound up with a
bent frame after its unsuccessful
bout with the oak tree. Chalmers
never did fx the frame and
eventually sold the car. Yet, one
thing from that car would remain
with Chalmers for life: a need for
chrome.
Seeing chrome on cars today
is nothing new. Its hard to turn
on MTV, BET or fip through a
magazine without seeing chrome
-- rims, bling, blades, spinners,
spokes or any other euphemism
for fancy wheels. Rappers,
athletes and musicians on Cribs or
Pimp My Ride all seem to have cars
sporting chrome these days.
But chrome is hardly new.
Around before World War II,
chrome truly came of age after
the war, says Michael Furman,
professional photographer and
author of Automobiles of the
Chrome Age, 1946-1960.
Chrome changed the
p e r s p e c t i v e
of how we as
A m e r i c a n s
wanted to be
seen and
that was evident
in our cars,
Furman says.
Furman calls
1946-1960 the
Chrome Age
becausechrome
ornamentation
and the basic
use of chrome
on cars was
a prominent
design element during that
period. As time wore on, the
weight of chrome became a factor
as automobile companies began
to make lighter cars and sacrifced
chrome for polished aluminum.
In recent years, chrome is being
integrated into vehicles again, but
not to the extent it once enjoyed,
Furman says. Street rods and
custom cars are all thats left of the
classic chrome look, he says.
Furman sees chrome wheels
as the last stronghold of bright
metal. Although not a huge fan
of chrome wheels personally, as
a photographer, Furman likes the
strength and accent chrome gives.
Its a built-in highlight, he says.
On a cloudy day, it still gives you
a highlight. It also gives a direction
and adds attention you see the
bright work.
And thats all gravy,but chromes
been around since the 1930s, so
are we seeing it more just because
its the thing to
get? If Snoop
Dogg starts
rockin 26-inch
al umi num- f oi l
covered carbon-
fber fve-stars in
his next video,
will that be the
next new trend?
Hot or not,
chrome is a very
f a s h i o n a b l e
accessory, and for
good reason. It
can make a drab
car fabulous.
It can make a fabulous car
breathtaking. Its also expensive,
so it says that youve got some
changein your pocket.Its a symbol
of status for todays generation,
a generation generally inept when
it comes to the appreciation of
automobiles.
Ronnie Chalmers, now 50,
is the product of a generation
that epitomizes what it means
to appreciate a vehicle and
its accessories. When you
see Chalmers tall, broad-
shouldered, clean-cut and
deftly laid-back its hard not
to be impressed. Hes married
to his high-school sweetheart
and hes on the coaching staff
at one of the most storied
college basketball programs in
America. He served his country
and, oh yeah, his son, Mario, is
a key member of the Kansas
mens basketball team.
And he loves his chrome.
Chalmers speaks reverently
about his past cars,whether talking
about the Impala, his 1977 T-Bird
or the car he owns now a black
2002 BMW X5 SUV. To Chalmers,
its more than just having rims for
their own sake. Sure, they make
the car look better, he says. But its
also about taking care of the rims.
Chalmers admits he loves taking
care of his cars and may parlay
that love into a post-KU career by
opening his own car washes some
day.
Chrome makes Chalmers car
his, and it expresses how he likes
to drive and present his wheels.
So, then, what is he representing
on his Beemer? A dazzling set of
22-inch AT Italia fve-star chrome
wheels, highlighted by a hint of
black over the chrome. Its taken
a while to get used to the black,
but its growing on me, Chalmers
says.
Though Chalmers has come a
long way from the yarn factory in
Fayetteville, a piece of his heart
still remains tied to that 62 Impala,
a car thats still his favorite. To this
day, Chalmers keeps his eyes open
online and scans automobile
ads for a 62 Impala, hoping to
rekindle a relationship that a faulty
emergency brake and an oak tree
cut short.
Chrome changed
the perspective
of how we as
Americans wanted
to be seen.
Michael Furman,
author of Automobiles of the
Chrome Age, 1946-1960
Transportations fashiest
accessory is here to stay
by Fred A. Davis III
AndifyouthinkChalmerswilleverabandon
hisloveforchrome, dontbetonit.IfImdriving
when Im 75, Ill have chrome, he says with a
sheepishgrin.
The biz-nas
PeterRazisasalesmanatKCTrends, awheel
andtiredealerinShawnee.OneoftheMidwests
premierlocationsforchromewheels, KCTrends
is a regular stop for both Chiefs and Royals
players. However, Raz estimates 20 percent of
KCTrends business is from men 40 and older.
Mostofthatgrouparegearheads,guysfxing
upmusclecars, hesays. Therearealsowealthy-
businessmantypessimplylookingtoaddsome
fairtotheirride, Razsays.
But Raz knows how to cater to the 40-plus
group because hes a part of it. At 49 and
holding, Razscoffsatthequestionofwhether
he has chrome. His matter-of-fact answer is
Yes stockchromerimstobeexact, onhis
red1990Corvette.
Lawrences security guru goes chrome
Dave Rueschhoffs passion for chrome
doesnt have the tragic history or duration of
Chalmerss, buttheresnodenyingthe55-year-
old Lawrence businessmans appreciation for
polishedmetal.
Like Chalmers, Rueschoff has been
successful in life. He owns or co-owns several
locksmithandsecuritybusinessesinLawrence.
Exudingacalmconfdence, Rueschhoffandhis
car, awhite2004MercedesBenzCLK500, were
meant to go together. The Benz has chrome
wheels, but Rueschhoff hasnt always been
attachedtochrome.
His earliest venture into chrome was as a
prepster in Hutchinson. His frst car, a 1956
Chevy, came with chrome wheels. After the
Chevy, it was a while before Rueschoff could
have chrome again. Family needs (chrome
wheels wasnt one of them) and affordability
preventedtheexpensiveacquisition.
Achangeofhearttookplaceafewyearsago
whenhepurchasedablackChrysler300Mwith
rims. Thelookreenergizedtheself-proclaimed
car buff and hes been a chrome man since,
vowingnevertostrayagain.
But, like Chalmers and just about everyone
else thats ever owned chrome, Rueschhoff
mentionshowthelookofavehicleisenhanced
by chrome. Sitting in Custom Highline, a high-
endcardealershipinLawrence, 2441W. 6
th
St.,
he points to a 2002 Lexus LS430 with matte
silver-colored rims (a relatively dull fnish) and
saystheydlookmuchbetterwithchrome.
That reasoning was developed by the fact
that Rueschhoffss Benz didnt come with
chrome when he bought it. Of course, when
thinkingoftheresalevalueRueschhoffsays
hedoesntholdontoacarfortoolongand
the aesthetic appeal, he knew he had to add
thechrome.
To get it, he went through a chrome
exchange program at www.oemrims.com. By
exchanging his original polished aluminum
Mercedesfactoryrims, Rueschhoffestimateshe
saved $1,500 by using the exchange program
ratherthanbuyingbrandnewcustomrims.
After $550 plus shipping costs and a one-
monthwait, Rueschhoffreceivedasparklingset
of18-inchchromerims, eachemblazonedwith
theMercedesthree-starlogointhemiddle.
Its easy to detect the pride Rueschhoff has
in his vehicle, which he says is his favorite to
date.
The guy thingfactor
Chromeappealstoaninnatemanlyinstinct,
agrunting, bold, fashyinstinctthatcommands
fearandattention.
Andifthereeverwasavehiclethatdefned
whatitistobeaman, itwouldhavetobeRay
Sawyers black 2003 Ford Excursion. A vehicle
that screams horsepower and testosterone,
SawyersExcursionisbigger, betterandmeaner
than just about any other
vehicleontheroad.
The 51-year-old Sawyer, a
native of Boise Valley, Idaho,
isaneasy-goingguyavast
departurefromthemenacing
stereotype his Excursion
evokes. Sitting on a dazzling
setof20-inchDiablorimsand
surroundedbyenoughrubber
to make the Michelin Man
blush, theExcursionwillleave
even the most experienced
automobilefanstutteringand
stammeringatfrstsight.
Sawyer, owner of an
agricultural consulting
business, is aware of the
cosmeticappealofchrome. LikeChalmersand
Rueschoff, Sawyer likes the look. But Sawyer
spendsmoretimeinhisvehiclebecauseofhis
business. Criss-crossingthemapatamoments
notice comes with the job description for
Sawyer. Soitsimportanttohimthatwhathes
sittinginlooksnice.
Sawyerbelievespeoplearejudgedbywhat
they drive. Its a notion he doesnt agree with,
butthatsthewayitis, hesays. IfyoujudgeRay
Sawyer, you end up with the verdict that hes
doingjustfne.
Examining Sawyers chrome credentials,
you see that hes been a chrome fan since his
metallic blue 1970 Chevelle. Sawyer had the
cars stock wheels immediately replaced with
Kraegers (a mainstay on
mostmusclecars).
These days, Sawyer, who
trades in his vehicles every
four to fve years, remains
on the lookout for his next
carashecontinuestoamass
mileageonhisExcursion.
So far as wonderful, eye-
catching and powerful as
chrome wheels are, there
mustbeadownside. Upkeep
andmaintenanceseemtobe
the trade-offs for the fashy
trend. The solution? Easy,
Furman says, if you stay on
topofcleaningyourchrome,
its easier to keep it looking
niceandextendsthelifeofit.
Its safe to say chrome isnt going
anywhere. Aslongaspeoplewanttobeautify
their vehicles, chrome will be there. And
while, for some folks, the need for chrome is
predominantly to show off, there remains a
group people like Ronnie Chalmers, Dave
Rueschhoff and Ray Sawyer who have it
because owning chrome means something
specialtothem. Somethingsospecial,infact,
thatyouwontseeitonTVorinamagazine.
Because for guys like these, its not about
why they have the chrome but about how
hardtheyvehadtoworktogetit.
14

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13
If Im driv-
ing when Im
75, Ill have
chrome.
Ronnie Chalm-
ers, Operations
Director for the
KU Athletic De-
partment
Dave Rueschoff polishes the chrome rims
on his 2004 Mercedes Benz CLK 500. Tak-
ing care of rims is one of the most enjoy-
able things about having them, says Ronnie
Chalmers, another chrome fan.
JEnnIFERBOnO
Custom 18-inch
rims with the Mer-
cedes logo adorn
Dave Rueschhoffs
Benz. He traded in
his original factory
rims for the chrome
rims through an
online chrome
exchange program.
By exchanging the
originals, Rueschoff
estimates he saved
about $1,500.
JEnnIFERBOnO
ou may recognize
Mike Birbiglia
from Comedy
Centrals
Premium
Blend or from
the radio program The
Bob and Tom Show, but
more importantly, Mike
wants you to know that
hes an American and he
believes in grade infation.
Q: So where are you now?
A: Im just hanging out in
my apartment in New York.
I did the frst show of the
tour at New York University,
and Im getting assembled
now for the rest of the tour.
Im actually looking at the
KU Web site right now. Ive
never been to Lawrence, but
your campus looks beautiful.
Q: Thanks. I dont think
its too bad myself. Any
essentials you need while
youre on tour?
A: Im not sureshampoo?
Yeah, defnitely shampoo.
Q: Your tour is called
Medium Man on
Campus,but your last
name is BirBIGlia. So why not call it Big
Man on Campus?
Actually, thats a good idea. I hadnt thought of
that. I call myself the medium man, because
in college I wasnt the guy with a million
friends, but I wasnt the guy with zero friends
either. I never got all the reading done for class,
but I did enough to not be a jerk.
Q: On your tour youll be heading out to
your alma mater, Georgetown University.
Any funny stories from your time there?
A: I took a computer science class and failed
the midterm. All the stuff was way over my
head, so I didnt go to class much. When I
showed up for the fnal, the guy next to me
said,Do you think well get the fnals back
today? I had totally missed the fnal, so I talked
to the professor because I was confused by the
syllabus. He told me that I could get the same
grade as the person with the worst grade on
the fnal. It turned out that the worst grade
was a guy who actually passed the test, and I
ended up passing the class. Im an American. I
believe in grade infation.
Q: You sing a little during your show. Do you
consider yourself a good musician?
A: No, Im a funny singer. Im just funny enough
so that no one notices how bad I actually sing.
Q: Are there other careers that appeal to
you besides being a comedian?
A: Yeah. Ive always wanted to be either a poet,
comedian, rapper or pizza place owner. Ive
been called a white bread cracker rapper. If a
guy asked me,Whats up, white bread?, its not
an insult. Its just myself personifed by a food
product. Hey I can do that too, black bean
soup.
Q: There seems to be a running theme of
bears in your routine. Whats with that?
A: When I was a kid, Id just have dreams
about bears. I had a recurring dream that a
bear walked into my house, like a human.
My girlfriend had once asked what I feared
the most. She said that youll leave me for
someone else. I said that I most feared bears.
When I was in Alaska, I saw some bears in
the zoo. Theyre such beautiful creatures. I
defnitely have a love-fear relationship with
bears.

See Mike Birbiglia perform tonight on The
Medium Man on Campus tour at 7 p.m. in the
Kansas Union Ballroom. Tickets: FREE with SUA
activity card, $5 with a student ID, and $10 for the
general public. Contact Student Union Activities
at (785) 864-7469 for more information.

Charissa Young

With
Mike Birbiglia
Y
&
a
OUT

JAYPLAY SAYS
WATCH
Two of the minds behind the ScaryMovie
series combine to lampoon the romantic
comedy genre in all its clichd glory. DateMovie
serves up such flms as Meet theParents,MyBig
Fat GreekWedding,TheWeddingPlanner,King
Kong,Kill Bill,SayAnything and many, many
more.The flm follows Julia Jones (Alyson
Hannigan, AmericanPie) as she searches for the
man of her dreams, fnds him, plans to marry
him, meets the parents and (Im guessing) ends
up chasing him to the airport after some kind of
misunderstanding.Expect plenty of pop culture
references and sick humor.What more could
you ask for in a date movie? (Feb 17)
Treat your inner child and download
the soundtrack to Curious George. It
features all-new tracks by ber-chill
superstar Jack Johnson. His friends arent
too shabby, either; the album includes
contributions from Ben Harper and G.
Love. The 14 tracks are available for $.99
each or get the whole sing-a-long album
(and a complimentary downloadable
coloring book) for $9.99 on iTunes.
DOWNLOAD
JACK JOHNSON
AND FRIENDS
I despise math, as most
writers do, so a movie about
the power of math interests
me little. However, throw
Gwyneth Paltrow, Jake
Gyllenhall and Anthony
Hopkins in to the mix and
Im there. Paltrow plays the
daughter of a brilliant but
mentally unstable mathematician who must deal
with her fathers death and the possibility that she
inherited not only his genius but also his madness.
Notably absent from awards season, this flm is
skillfully acted and directed. DVD features include a
commentary by director John Madden (Shakespeare
in Love) and a documentary chronicling the
adaptation of the story from stage to screen. ($19.99
at Best Buy)
RENT PROOF
Eve Enslers controversial play goes up at Liberty Hall at 7:30 Sunday night.The show consists of
named monologues about varying vaginal topics, from menarche (I Was Twelve; My Mother
Slapped Me) to witnessing a granddaughters birth (I Was There).Proceeds from the $10 tickets
beneft GaDuGi SafeCenter,Womens Transitional Care Services and Enslers campaign to stop
violence against women -- the V-Day Worldwide Campaign: Comfort Women.
GO THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES
SIGUR RS
Be transported to another cosmic plane with the
music of Icelandic band Sigur Rs. The band plays at
Kansas Citys Uptown Theater on Wednesday night.
Sigur Rs, known for singing in a made-up language
called Hopelandic, has a new album in which they
sing in their native Icelandic (not that anyone can
tell the difference). You may not know what theyre
saying, but, through their ethereal voices and exotic
instrumentals, youll defnitely get the message.
Tickets are $30 and the show stars at 7:30.
SEE
COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK
Rum & Coke
According to The Ultimate Book of Cocktails by Stuart
Walton, rum was invented in the 16
th
century, shortly
after the establishment of the frst sugar plantations in
the West Indies. Bacardi (the worlds favorite white spirit
brand), Captain Morgan (the leading brand of dark rum)
and Lambs Navy Rum remain among the most popular
choices, Walton writes. They generally are mixed with cola,
such as Coke, Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, and garnished with a
twist of lime, he writes.
David Heller
Natalie Johnson and Lindsey Ramsey
DATE MOVIE
Q
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 15
W
I loved my Raggedy Ann
costume, because I had red
hair, like my brothers.
I was Pocahontas. My dress
was just like hers.
Girl 1: So I saw my English
teacher at this restaurant. So
I go to my boyfriend,Lets
leave. And hes all like,Why?
And then Im totally like Duh.
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: I think if I had any wish,
it would be to never have to
shave my legs again.
Girl 2: But what about your
armpits?
Girl 3: I think it would be my
area, you know?
Girls 1 and 2: Double true.
Guy: I love meat.
Girl: I love meat.
Guy: I hate meat.
Girl: Yeah, so do I.
Malinda Osborne
What Was
your favorite
halloWeen
costume as a kid?
if you could only
eat one food every
day for a Week,
What Would it be?
What is your idea
of the Worst first
date?
Who is the sexiest
superhero?
What reality
shoW star Would
you like to see as
president?
Graeters ice cream any
favor made with chocolate
chips to combine two
critical food groups, dairy and
chocolate.
Cheetos. I kind of already do
that.
Well, Id have to go for a
Kansas woman, of course:
Danni Boatwright.
I dont really watch reality TV.
I did like Superman a lot
smart nerd by day and
superhero by night.
Cyclops from the X-men.
Having my brothers do a
greeting at the door and
scaring away the date before I
got down the steps.
With a guy who put too much
thought into it and tried to
make it too perfect.
Bailey Perkins,
Newton freshman
5 ?
Governor Kathleen
Sebelius
WESCOE WIT
Carolyn Tharp
16

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
#ONTEST2ULES
CohIesI ehIries cah be emailed Io musicIreebies@kahsah.com or ehIer
ohlihe aI www.kahsah.com/musicIreebies beIore Feb. 20 aI 4 p.m.
CohIesIahIs may ohly ehIer ohce. Wihhers will be ahhouhced ih Jayplay
Ihe Iollowihg Thursday. For quesIiohs cohIacI promoIiohs aI 864.4358
jayplay
music freebies
Congrats to
.ATE4HAMES
winner of Matisyahu's
newest album, "outh.
visit our website to win
FREETICKETS to see
Matisyahu in concert March l.
BRA FITTING 101
With outstretched arms, Leslie Dillon,
Independence, Mo. sophomore, anxiously awaits
to see how she measures up.
34 B, says Marilyn Ousdahl, intimate apparel
head at Weavers, 901 Massachusetts St.
Thats what I fgured, Dillon sighs as her
roommate steps up for her bra ftting.
34 C, Ousdahl announces.
I wasnt expecting that, says a pleasantly
surprised Abby Christensen,
Independence sophomore. I
wear mainly B cups.
Being off a cup size is common,
says Ousdahl, who boasts 22
years of bra ftting experience.
In fact, it is so common that 85
percent of women nationwide
are sporting the wrong size bra,
says ftting specialist Blessing
Okere. Okere works at Intimacy,
a Chicago-based lingerie store
dedicated to bra ftting.
Experts say that lack of professional help is to
blame for most ill-ftting bras, but amateurs can
now take matters into their own hands. With a
crash course in sizing, anyone can learn the laws of
the bra and relish in the right bras benefts.
Finding the right ft
To fnd the right bra, you must have the right
measurements. Wrong measurements are the
reason for most cleavage crises. Some women just
arent comfortable getting measured, Okere says.
This leaves women to ballpark their size, almost
guaranteeing a mistake.
Others are comfortable, but go to untrained
ftters. Knowing how to measure and knowing how
to ft are not the same, says Okere, who believes
ftting is holistic. Okere recommends researching a
store before going in for a ftting.
It is also important to be ftted frequently.Getting
ftted is like a check-up, Okere says; it should be
yearly. Like the doctor, women should feel free to
go as needed. Any signifcant weight fuctuation is
cause to be reftted, Okere says. Women need not
run to the store every time their scale sways; they
can do their own measurements in a pinch.
A simplistic way to double-check dimensions
is to measure underneath the bust, Ousdahl says.
Wearing either an unlined or lightly lined bra, take
a soft tape measurer and secure it under the band
of the bra. To get the band size, add 5 inches to this
number. To verify cup size, wrap the tape around
the fullest point of the bust. Every inch the cup
differs from the band is a cup size.
Fixing the problem
The biggest and most common problem is
overfowing cups, Ousdahl says. While offering the
security of snugness to women, brimming cups
are a sure sign that the bra is too small. A good bra
should lift and separate, Okere says, not squish.
Shoulder straps digging into the shoulders are
also at the top of the bra blunder list, and a safe bet
that a bra is two cup sizes too small. Three fngers
should ft easily under the straps,
Okere says. As for adjusting the
straps, Okere says to aim for the
middle. If the straps are adjusted
all the way, it means the bra band
is too big.
Rising bands also signal the
need for a larger bra. The band
should rest frmly underneath
the shoulder blades, Okere says.
A level band pulls the breasts
into the bodys frame and places
them in the desired position of the middle arm.
Puckering is a dead giveaway for a bra that is
too large. Excess fabric on the sides or at the cups
means its time to go down a size, usually in cup,
Okere says. Falling straps also suggests the bra
band is too big.
Although loose is more comfortable its not
neccesarily better, Okere says. Over time, bras lose
their elasticity so its important to buy bras that ft
frmly on the last hook. As wear and care take their
tolls on the garments, women can advance to a
tighter hook.
Bountiful benefts
Women can also boost their confdence with a
bra over time. Besides perking up her health, the
right bra can do wonders for a womans appearance
and state of mind.
If you ever want to look like youve lost 10
pounds fast, get the right-sized bra, Okere says.
The right bra creates the illusion of a slimmer,
trimmer body by pulling the breasts into its frame,
Okere says. It also enhances an outft. Victorias
Secret fashion consultant, Machene, advises
women to wear plunges or push ups with V-necks,
demis with t-shirts and full coverage for sweaters.
Along with looking better, a good bra will make
women feel better, Brett Grady, Olathe sophomore
says. Grady says the power of the bra lies within
how it affects the woman wearing it.
Even if no one sees it, shes still going to have
that confdence with a good bra, Grady says.
Christensens smile attests to the importance
of a good bra, as she thumbs through a sea of Cs,
beaming with joy.
NOTICE
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 17
Besides perking up
her health, the right
bra can do wonders
for a womans
appearance and
state of mind.
And what the right (or wrong) bra will do for you
KIT LEFFLER
The Bro, or the Manssiere, depending
on which side of the Seinfeld debate
youre on, isnt just one of Kramers wacky
inventions. Its a real medical garment.
Compression vests are designed
specifcally for men suffering from an
excessive amounts of breast tissue, or
gynecomastia. The vests cover the entire
upper torso and reduce the appearance of
breasts, similar to the effect of a womans
minimizing bra.
Gynecomastia usually appears during
puberty and is linked to genetics, obesity,
drug use and certain diseases. Merle Yost,
licensed psychotherapist and founder of
www.gynecomastia.org, writes on the site
that most adolescent boys go through a
phase of gynecomastia but only 10 percent
will develop the condition.
Compression vests can be bought from
specialty stores like Design Veronique
through www.designveronique.com.
THE BRO IS REAL
by Liz Nartowicz
Model: Lindsey Quittmeir, Parkville,
Mo. art education graduate
student.
6
4
THE WINTER
OLYMPICS BEGIN IN
TURIN, ITALY.
Dozens of Americans express mild
interest.
HAWK TOPICS
RAINE AND RUIGH REVIEW
NEWS YOU CAN USE
1
POLICE BREAK UP DE SOTO
FIGHT CLUB.
2
UGGS + SWEAT
PANTS =
Fun fashion fact: Erik the Red pioneered
the Lazy Viking look after his girlfriend
dumped him in 976 AD.
3
A number of the teens clearly
broke Rule No. 11: Dont have
your parents drop you off at
Fight Club.
VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY
SHOOTS A MAN WHILE HUNTING.
Columbia, however,
still smells like dirty
diapers.
BRITNEY SPEARS fLEES
fROM PAPARAZZI,
DRIVING WITH HER
SON UNBUCKLED IN
HER LAP.
Honestly, though, fying
headfrst through a
windshield is probably
preferable to going
through life as the child
of Britney Spears and
Kevin Federline.
7
KU ENROLLS 71 NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLARS IN THE
fALL, THE 12TH MOST NATIONALLY AMONG PUBLIC
UNIVERSITIES.
Yeah, thats nice, but we can all agree it would be way cooler if they were
National Ferret Scholars.
SNOWSTORMS HIT THE
EAST COAST.
Quin Snyder drives all
night, telling his friends
hes going to take
advantage of all the snow;
upon arrival, expresses
anger, disappointment,
after learning that snow
actually meant snow, not
cocaine, as he had hoped.
THE KU ATHLETICS DEPARTMENT
REVEALS PLANS fOR A $31 MILLION
fOOTBALL fACILITY.
Sources revealed that much of that high costs
comes from the extra steel needed to Mangino-
proof the building.
9
Chris Raine and Dave Ruigh
QUIN SNYDER RESIGNS
AS HEAD COACH OF
MISSOURI.
In his defense, Cheney thought he was supposed to be
hunting peasants, not pheasants.
LOVEY-DOVEY AMERICAN COUPLES
CELEBRATE VALENTINES DAY ON fEB. 14.
10
18

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
8
4
5
NOTICE
A recent poll ranks Valentines Day as
Americas second-favorite fake holiday. Still
number one? Christmas.
Past winners include: Tri Point Paradox, Tanner Walle,
Epiphany & Groovelight
Now accepting demos:
Email or submit demos to Rm 119 Stauffer-Flint
by March 13 at 4pm
Three bands will be chosen and featured in Jayplay and Kansan.com,
as well as get an opportunity to play at The Granada and
compete for a $250 Cash Prize.
Play at The Granada
at Jayplay Live on April 13 & win a
$250 Cash Prize
For questions, contact Promotions at 864.4358 or email them to promotions@kansan.com
MAKERS BY ROCKY VOTOLATO
REVIEWS
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 19
Set during the stark yet
beautiful winter season in
New Hampshire, Light on Snow
explores family dynamics,
moral ambiguity and a search
for redemption and belonging.
While the themes and subject
matter may not be completely
original, the novel itself is
engrossing and well-written.
The novel begins with the
serendipitous discovery of an
abandoned baby in the woods
near the Dillon home, where
12-year-old Nicky lives with her
widower dad. The child lives,
but Nicky is forever haunted by
her realization that the world
is a cruel place. When a woman
named Charlotte turns up at the
familys door, they discover that
she is the babys mother and
responsible for the neglect. The
fact that Nicky is still recovering
from the deaths of her mother
and baby sister only adds to the
crisis of conscience.
Nicky and her father wait out
a snowstorm with Charlotte and
decide what to do next. Torn
between rage and sympathy,
her father tries to decide
whether or not to turn Charlotte
in. Meanwhile, Nicky takes to
Charlotte as a new mother-
fgure.
I couldnt fgure out why
Shreve chose to have an adult
Nicky narrate the novel, and yet
keep it in present tense. It almost
feels like a breakdown in parallel
structure. Parts of the novel
descend into the realm of the
sugary sweet, but its forgivable.
Shreve develops her characters
well, while still maintaining a
succinct, crisp style that probably
saves the book from becoming
downright mushy.
Like most of Shreves books,
this will probably appeal to
mature women with mainstream
tastes, and thats fne. Theres
nothing new or revolutionary,
and it asks the same questions
that have been posed countless
times before. The novel is
enjoyable and entertaining, but
once this snowfake hits your
tongue, it evaporates.
Publisher: Back Bay Books
Price: $14.95
Available in paperback

Kelsey Hayes
by Anita Shreve
Light on Snow
BOOK
Youll wish you were dead You'll want to leave the theater earlyYou'll say "eh"You'll rave to everyone who asksYoull have a religious experience
REVIEWS
20

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
Foryears, TimMcGraw
andFaithHillhavereigned
thecountrymusicchartsas
belovedNashvilleroyalty.
Theyvebeendeemedthe
frstcoupleofcountry; John
RichevendubbedFaiththe
modern-dayTammy.
Andwhatsthis, like,
theeighthgreatesthits
installmentfromtheother
halfofcountrymusicsfrst
couple?
Whosbuyingthisstuff?
No. Itsjustthesecond
installment, butgiven
McGrawspenchantfor
releasingentirealbumsas
singles, andgivenradios
inexplicablepenchantfor
playingthem, itmightas
wellbetheeighth.
Setasidethefactthat
McGrawcantsing, and
hismaterial(nothisown,
butmightaswellbe)
sucks. Greatest Hits IIisnt
completelyhorrible. Its
oneofthoserecordsyou
canpretendtolikeits
thatsomethingwhen
theresnothingelseon
theradio. Hey!Thatwas
agoodsongforthefrst
fveseconds, thenitkindof
started.
McGrawsmusicisagood
exampleofeverythingthats
wrongwithcountrymusic
right now.Justconsider
Greatest Hits IIacondensed,
intensifedversionthe
epitomeofbad.
McGrawsaidithimself:
Thisshitaintrocket
science. Itshouldbea
slapinthefaceforthose
whoactuallytakecountry
serious. Instead, heslapped
himself.
NO STARS
NickConnell
MUSIC
Tim McGraw:
Greatest Hits II
Onceuponatime, Devil May Cry
3stoodasarguablythebestaction/
adventuregameonthePS2. Thattime
wasathree-weekperiodlastyear, just
beforeGod of War camealongandrained
onitsparade. Now, everybodysfavorite
bondage-gear-wearinghalf-demon
DanteisbackinDevil May Cry 3: Special
EditionanditsstillnotasgoodasGod
of War.
Thatsaid, DMC3:SE holdsupprettywell
amongthebestaction/adventuregames
availableandtheSpecialEditiondoesa
greatjobofaddinglotsofnewcontent
forbothnewandveteranplayers.
Themostnotableadditionisanew
playablecharacter, Dantestwinbrother
Virgil. Virgilcomesequippedwithhis
ownuniqueweapons, styleandmoves.
Unfortunately, youalsohavetocomplete
thegamewithDantebeforeyoucan
unlockhim, sonewplayerswillhaveto
playthroughasDanteatleastonce.
Ofcourse, thatfrstplay-throughis
considerablyeasiernow, thankstoa
newcontinuemode. Playerscanelect
tousetheoriginalJapanesecontinue
mode, whichallowsyoutocontinuefrom
thenearestcheckpointanunlimited
numberoftimesorpurchaseGoldOrbs
tocontinuerightwherethecharacter
died. Thenewmodedoesagreatjobof
alleviatingthesometimesbrutaldiffculty
oftheoriginal.
Othernewfeaturesincludeanewboss
fght, aVeryHarddiffcultymode, and
anincreasedgamespeedoption. These
featuresgiveseriesveteransfurther
reasontoplaythroughagain.
For$20, DMC3:SE isaneasy
recommendation. Ifnothingelse, itwill
tideyouoveruntilthenextGod of War
comesout.
System: Playstation 2
Buy for $19.99 at Best Buy, Wal-Mart, Target,
Hastings, EBGames and other video game
dealers.
Rent at Blockbuster, Hastings, Dillons and
other video game rental agencies.

AndrewCampbell
DEVIL MAY CRY 3:
SPECIAL EDITION
GAME
A8E&JAKE5
www.obe|okes.com 841.8

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MAKERS BY ROCKY VOTOLATO
Te Pink Panther
Makers, the fourth full-length album
from Rocky Votolato is packed with
the kind of typical singer-songwriter
punch youd expect from artists like
Iron and Wine or Elliott Smith. When
White Daisy Passing starts you feel
like youre listening to Garden State
soundtrack favorites like The Shins or
Iron and Wine.
The standout track,She Was Only In
It For The Rain features a great chorus
with several intertwining guitar parts
and subtle background organ that create a powerful song.
The Nights Disguise has slide guitar that brings to mind any great
alt-country song youve heard.
Tennessee Train Tracks is backed by strong drumbeats and shaker,
adding further depth to the album.
Makers is lined with beautiful instrumentation throughout. The
production is superb. A subtle organ or harmonica here and there,
adding to Votolatos quiet and deep voice. Its good background music
for studying.
Unfortunately, Makers doesnt really break from its formula too
many times, leaving the listener bored after a few tracks. By track fve
or six, youve pretty much heard the entire album. So, if you want a
singer-songwriter type album that stays interesting throughout, get
Jenny Lewiss Rabbit Fur Coat or Becks Sea Change.

Chris Brower
MOVIE
MUSIC
REVIEWS
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 21
Steve Martins French
accent may have been a
little more than slightly
off, but most other aspects
of The Pink Panther hit the
mark.
In case you forgot,
Martin is funny.Very funny.
He demonstrates his
comedic ability as Jacques
Clouseau, a bumbling,
completely inept police
offcer-turned-inspector.
Hes investigating the
murder of a French soccer
coach (Jason Statham)
and the theft of his elusive
pink panther diamond.
What Clouseau doesnt
know is that his boss,
Chief Inspector Dreyfus
(Kevin Kline) has ulterior
motives for putting
Clouseau in this surprising
position. The question
is, can Clouseau put his
blundering brain to good
use and solve the most
talked-about crime in
Paris?
Sure, some of the
stunts and stereotypes
are over the top, and
there are spots of potty
humor, but this movie
does what it aims to do:
make the audience laugh.
The PG rating and the
lame cell phone reminder
Id seen countless times
before other previews
(ironically not included
in the previews for this
flm) made me skeptical.
But there are quite a few
jokes that the children
in the audience arent
meant to get, and some
of them are pretty damn
good. Overall, The Pink
Panther proved to be a
pleasant surprise.
South Wind 12
Rated: PG, 93 minutes


Kelsey Hayes
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kansan.com
Now.
After Patrick Bradens
stepmothercomeshome
to fnd him wearing
one of her dresses, she
orders him to say, Im
notagirl. YoungPatrick
obeys, brimming with
insincerity.
Breakfast on Pluto isnot
a story about a sexually
confused young man.
Patrick, who prefers to
be called Kitten, knows
exactly who she is, even
ifthepeoplearoundher
have trouble getting
their heads around the
idea.
Kitten grows up in
Ireland in the 60s, but
she has more important
thingsonhermindthan
theviolenceencroaching
on her hometown. Like
many fairytale heroines
before her, Kitten has a
brutish stepmother and
aresentfulstepsisterwho
do their best to make
Kitten a drab drudge.
Kittenleavesthembehind
andgoestoLondon.
Terriblethingshappen
inLondon,butbothKitten
and the movie, refuse to
go to pieces over these
tragedies. Sections of the
movie are labeled with
tongue-in-cheek chapter
headings, and even the
direst situation may be
playedforhumor.
As Kitten, Cillian
Murphy (Red Eye)
mumbleshiswaythrough
the movie. He holds
tightlytoKittensmaskof
superfciality, even when
Kittenisatherlowest. Its
ariskychoiceonMurphys
part, since I imagine
some people will fnd it
alienating. But Kittens
ditzyveneershouldntbe
takenforcallousness.
Despite its tartness,
Breakfast is a very sweet
movie. Kitten meets real
kindness in London. In
fairy tales, lost children
tendtobedevoured, and
some of the plot twists
that save Kitten from
that fate emulate Disney
fction.
Breakfast makes a few
attemptsatcynicism, but
theyrenotverypointed.
Liberty Hall
Rated: R, 135 minutes

KitFluker
Breakfast on Pluto
MOVIE
22

JAYPLAY 02.16.2006
REVIEWS
BACKDRAFT ON
by David Heller
Finding the courage
to hang on
I awoke to a loud bang that shook
my entire apartment. I peeked out my
windowandnoticedabunchofpeople
running around screaming. At frst, I
thought, Its the drunk NASCAR fans.
Then I opened my bedroom door and
discovered the source of the chaos:
Except for my bedroom, my entire
apartmentwasengulfedinfames.
Everything was on fre: my computer,
my couch, the front door, the foor,
the ceiling, the kitchen and even the
bathroom right next to my bedroom.
This scared the shit out of me so I
slammed my bedroom door. On pure
instinct, I raced to the only window in
my third-story apartment, kicked out
thescreenandbegantoclimbout.Fire!
Iyelledtothepeoplebelow.
I looked down and quickly realized it
was too far for me to jump. The ground
was at least 20 feet below. A few seconds
later, I noticed smoke creeping under my
bedroomdoor. Thefrewasclose. Myonly
optionwastoclimboutthewindow, hang
fromthesharpmetaledgeofthewindowsill
andprayforsomeonetohelpme.
Ten paralyzing minutes passed. My
fngers began to blister and my eyes
watered from the smoke and ash in
my face. I could feel the heat from the
fames. My neighbors directly below
fnally realized the building was on fre.
They opened their window and saw my
feetdangling. Oneofthempanicked, and
begantopullonmyfeet.Gethimdown
here! she said. No, I yelled, Ill fall back
and break my neck! I felt my grip losing
its strength, but I managed to hold on,
andsheeventuallyletgoofmyfeet.
Five more minutes passed. Several
residents of the Boardwalk Apartment
Complex gathered beneath me and
pleadedformetokeepholdingon. They
triedtofreealadder, whichwaschained
to a streetlight, but they couldnt get it
loose.Ok, guys,Iyelledatmyneighbors
below.Someonegogetacarandparkit
underneathmesoIcanjump, Icanttake
thisanymore!
Another fve minutes passed. My
face was covered in ash. The fre began
to engulf my bedroom. Thankfully,
someone pulled a white car as close to
my building as he could. As my arms
and hands began to numb, I worked up
the courage to jump. Suddenly, a boiler
exploded in the empty apartment next
to mine. My heart jumped at the sound
and sight of fames bursting through a
windowfvefeetawayfrommyface.Get
outoftheway, Imjumping! Iyelled.
At this point, I had hung out my
window for 20 minutes, 20 feet above
the ground, wearing nothing but a T-
shirt and boxers. I pressed my bare feet
against the wall and kicked myself free
from the burning building. I fell toward
the earth and landed feet frst, crushing
thehoodofthewhitecar. Ifellbackwards
off the car, but somebody caught me
beforemyheadhittheconcrete.
My instinct made me run away from
the raging inferno. I ran through the
parkinglotandofftothesidelawn. The
coldOctoberwindfrozemeasIwatched
my building burn to the ground. All
around me, neighbors, whom I knew
only by face, cried, bled and embraced
each other. Two bystanders, both KU
students, were kind enough to lend me
somesweatpantsandasweatshirt.When
theyaskedmewhathappened, allIsaid
was,thesmokealarmsneverwentoff.
The 76-unit apartment building
burned down from approximately 1:30
a.m. to 6 a.m. Friday, Oct. 7, 2005. Three
people died and many others were
injured, eitherfromthefamesandglass
or from jumping out of their windows. I
was the only person who jumped from
thethirdfoorwhodidnotgethurt, andI
feelextremelyfortunatetohaveescaped
thefreunharmed. Youneverknowwhat
you would do in a crisis situation. I kept
myheadtogether, remainedascalmasI
couldandheldonforaslongasIneeded.
I just wish I knew the name of the guy
whosecarIlandedon.
Onethingthisdisastertaughtmeisto
always listen to your familys advice. My
brother, Michael, noticedthattherewere
noadequatefreescapesonmyfoorand
advisedmetobuyaportableladder, but
Ineverdid. IwishIhadactuallytakenthe
timeandthoughtaboutanescapeplan.
The building I lived in was not required
to conform to current fre code laws
becauseitwasbuiltinthe60s.
IlosteverythingIownedinthefre, but
I feel damn lucky to be alive today. After
thefre, Ireceivedanastonishingamount
of support from my family, friends, the
University of Kansas and random KU
students. MymomdrovefromManhattan
tobringmesomeclothes. Mygoodfriend,
AlGard, letmecrashathisapartmentuntil
Ifoundanewplacetolive. Iwastouched
by all the people, whom I didnt even
know, who collected money for me and
offeredmeplacestocrash. Thesepeople
reallycaredaboutwhathappenedtome,
andIthankeachofthemfortheirsupport.
Your friends, family and neighbors rally
aroundyouwhenyouneedthemmost.
SPEAK
02.16.2006 JAYPLAY 23
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