And why Kim wAllAce cherished her fAthers presence At high school grAduAtion. pAge 19 Why kansas? internAtionAl students At Ku pAge 7 Fresh Food the culinAry opportunities of spring produce pAge 9 Parent Problems how to Avoid fighting with the rents pAge 10 02
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 28 ABLE t JAYPLAYERS EDITORS MAKIN IT HAPPEN Becka Cremer Dave Ruigh CLERK GETS AROUND TOWN Michael Peterson DESIGNERS MAKE IT PRETTY Katherine Loeck Bryan Marvin PHOTOGRAPHERS MCGUYVER STUFF Amanda Sellers Anna Faltermeier HEALTH GOOD FOR YOU Lindsey St. Clair Kim Wallace Elyse Weidner PEOPLE KNOW EVERYONE Sam Carlson Jennifer Denny Anne Weltmer OUT HIT THE TOWN Matt Elder Courtney Hagen Jaime Netzer NOTICE TAKE NOTE OF IT Laura Evers Dani Hurst Katrina Mohr CONTACT HELP YOUR LOVE LIFE Matthew Foster Nicole Korman CREATIVE CONSULTANT FOUR SEA CREATURES Carol Holstead WRITE TO US jayplay07@gmail.com JAYPLAY The University Daily Kansan 111 Stauffer-Flint Hall 1435 Jayhawk Blvd. Lawrence, KS 66045 F ONTENTS MiLES FrOM OrdiNAry people 07 International students at KU SEriAL ShOppErS out 13 Shop til you drop literally hOME iS whErE ThE FighT iS feature 10 Returning to the empty nest SpriNg EATS notice 09 Healthy meal ideas and recipes hidiNg dAddy speak 19 Kim Wallaces high school graduation countdown ONTHE COVER: PHOTO/ ANNA FALTERMEIER 09 07 gOiNg ThE diSTANcE contact 15 How to maintain a long-distance relationship 13 Dorm-life is supposed to be a taste of freedom. Leaving parents and their rules behind usually means setting your own curfew, deciding for yourself who can sleep over and running your own life. But for me, dorm-life meant more rules, not fewer. I entered GSP in 2004, and left before 2005. Living in an all-girls dorm was too much of a shock after my moms relaxed parenting techniques. During high school, my mom let me make my own decisions about what was right and wrong; I was rarely told when to be home at night, and I could choose who to have in my room and when to have them there. After reading Laura Evers article about getting along with your parents after experiencing freedom (page 10), I realize that I should have sat down with my resident advisor and had a talk about boundaries. Maybe then I could have had a guy stay in my room on a Tuesday night.
Becka Cremer, co-editor
13 note. 15 10 13 19 09 07 Beaumont Club 4050 Pennsylvania St. Kansas City, Mo. (816) 561-2560 Bottleneck 737 New Hampshire St. Lawrence (785) 841-5483 The Brick 1727 McGee St. Kansas City, Mo. (816) 421-1634 Fatsos 1016 Massachusetts St. Lawrence (785) 865-4055 Gaslight Tavern 317 N. Second St. Lawrence (785) 856-4330 Grand Emporium 3832 Main St. Kansas City, Mo. (816) 531-1504 Harbour Lights 1031 Massachusetts St. Lawrence (785) 841-1960 Jackpot Saloon 943 Massachusetts St. Lawrence (785) 843-2846 The Jazzhaus 926 1/2 Massachusetts St. Lawrence (785) 749-3320 The Record Bar 1020 Westport Road Kansas City, Mo. (816) 753-5207 Replay Lounge 946 Massachusetts St. Lawrence (785) 749-7676 Signs of Life 722 Massachusetts St. Lawrence (785) 830-8030 Uptown Theater 3700 Broadway St. Kansas City, Mo. (816) 753-8665 VooDoo Lounge 1 Riverboat Drive Kansas City, Mo. (816) 889-7320
04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 03 Tea Time. Lobby, Kansas Union, 3 p.m., FREE. Lecture: Winds of Change. 120 Snow Hall, 3:30 p.m., FREE. Eugene Linden has written about environmental issues for The New York Times, The Atlantic and other publications. Farmers Market. Tenth and Vermont Streets, 46 p.m., FREE. Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 6 p.m., FREE. Lecture:Between Image and Text: The Art of Xu Bing. Auditorium, Spencer Museum of Art, 7 p.m., FREE. Theater: On Golden Pond. Lawrence Community Theatre, 7:30 p.m., $1418. Roan County Split/Logan Peck and Friends. Granada, 8 p.m., 18+, $3. Five for Fighting. VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+, $20, www. fveforfghting.com. Film: Children of Men. Woodruff Auditorium, Kansas Union, 8 p.m., $2 or FREE w/ SUA movie card. Neon. Bottleneck, 9 p.m. Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 9 p.m., FREE. Matt Ludwick/Helmer. Boobie Trap Bar, 9:30 p.m., all ages, $56, www.myspace.com/ mattludwick. Scott Schwein Band/Sabitar/ Livelock. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $3, www.scottschwein.com. The Wayward Sons. Gaslight Tavern, 10 p.m., www. waywardsonsband.net The Von Ehrics/Unknown Stuntman/Santiago. The Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2. www.thevonehrics.com. Kiosk Beneft: Volunteers/The Legendary Terrordactyls/The Armory/Stylus. Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, www.myspace.com/ thelegendaryterrordactyls. C a l e n d a r Walk-Ins Welcome Friday. Spencer Museum of Art, 10 p.m., FREE. Tunes at Noon w/ True North. Plaza, Kansas Union, 12 p.m., FREE. Book Collecting Contest. Oread Books, Kansas Union, 3 p.m., FREE. Lecture:Unlocking the Secret of Happiness.Alderson Auditorium, Kansas Union, 7 p.m., FREE. Mingyur Rinpoche is the author of The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Science and Secret of Happiness. Theater: Guys and Dolls. Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy Hall, 7:30 p.m., $1018. Bruce in the USA! (Bruce Springsteen Tribute Band). Beaumont Club, 8 p.m., 18+, $15, bruceintheusa.com. Film: Children of Men. Woodruff Auditorium, Kansas Union, 8 p.m., $2 or FREE w/ SUA movie card. Dr. Zhivegas. VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+, www.drzhivegas.com. Fetish Night. Granada, 9 p.m., 18+, $6. Club Wars:The Battle for VooDoo w/ Mr.Zero Knew/Sunday Blackout/Bixby Lane/Leaded. Grand Emporium, 9 p.m., 21+. 77 Jefferson/Patrick Lentz/ Anchondo/Bredan O Hare. Hurricane, 9 p.m., www.myspace. com/77jefferson. System and Station/The Life and Times/The Alibi. Record Bar, 9 p.m., 21+, www. systemandstation.net. Mirror Image/Waste of Hate/ Severend. Boobie Trap Bar, 9:30 p.m., all ages, $5-6, www. myspace.com/mirrorimage. Cosmopolitics. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $4, www.myspace. com/cosmopolitics. White Ghost Shivers/Red Lefty. Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, www.myspace.com/ whiteghostshivers. Farmers Market. Eighth and New Hampshire Streets, 711 a.m., FREE. Book Signing: Max Falkenstien. Oread Books, Kansas Union, 12 p.m., FREE. Falkenstien is the author, most recently, of A Good Place to Stop: 60 Seasons with Max and the Jayhawks. Softball: Kansas vs. Oklahoma. Arrocha Ballpark, 2 p.m. Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 6 p.m., FREE. Seeking Surreal/ Standpointe/ Super Black Market. Beaumont Club, 7 p.m., 21+. Theater: Guys and Dolls. Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy Hall, 7:30 p.m., $1018. Ace Frehley Birthday Bash w/ Almost Kiss/Vincent Vega. Grand Emporium, 8 p.m., all ages, $7. Theater: On Golden Pond. Lawrence Community Theatre, 8 p.m., $1420. DJ Kevin Scott. VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+. Film: Children of Men. Woodruff Auditorium, Kansas Union, 8 p.m., $2 or FREE w/ SUA movie card. Poker Pub. Conroys Pub, 9 p.m., FREE. Arthur Dodge and the Horsefeathers/Old Crony. Hurricane, 9 p.m., www. arthurdodge.com. DJ Skus Block Party. Granada, 9 p.m., 18+, $3. Oliver Buck/Nightingale. Boobie Trap Bar, 9:30 p.m., all ages, $5-6, www.myspace.com/ oliverbuck. Cosmic Bowling. Jaybowl, Kansas Union, 10 p.m., FREE. True North. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $5, www.myspace.com/ truenorthmusic. This Is My Condition/To Live and Shave in L.A./ Colourmusic. The Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2.
Softball: Kansas vs. Oklahoma. Arrocha Ballpark, 1 p.m. Theater: Guys and Dolls. Crafton-Preyer Theatre, Murphy Hall, 2:30 p.m., $1018. Theater: On Golden Pond. Lawrence Community Theatre, 2:30 p.m., $1419. The New Dodge Band w/ Adrianne Verhoeven. The Replay Lounge, 5 p.m., all ages, $3. Carillon Concert. Memorial Campanile, 5 p.m., FREE. Chico DeBarge/James DeBarge. Beaumont Club, 7 p.m., all ages, $20. Morphin Endorphins/Loglady. Granada, 9 p.m., 18 +, $3. The Spoon and Fork Family/Save the Whales/ The Monoplex. Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, www.myspace.com/ thespoonandforkfamily. Gallery Exhibit: Solutionation.Mirth Caf, 7 a.m.10 p.m., FREE. Paintings and mixed-media by Yuri Zupancic, Jeremy Rockwell and Jeromy Morris. The Dead Sea Scrolls. Science City at Union Station, 9:30 a.m.7:30 p.m., $2036. Farmers Market. Tenth and Vermont Streets, 46 p.m., FREE. Peace Corps Information Meeting. Lawrence Public Library, 7 p.m., FREE. Griffn House. Grand Emporium, 8 p.m., all ages, $10. Jet. VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+, $25. Electric Six/Night Kills the Day. Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $12. Gallery Opening: Brandon Ripley. Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., FREE. Gallery Exhibit: Solutionation.Mirth Caf, 7 a.m.10 p.m., FREE. Paintings and mixed-media by Yuri Zupancic, Jeremy Rockwell and Jeromy Morris. The Dead Sea Scrolls. Science City at Union Station, 9:30 a.m.7:30 p.m., $2036. Gallery Exhibit: Jennifer Steinkamp. Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 10 a.m.4 p.m., FREE. Lecture: Gen. Richard B. Myers. Dole Institute of Politics, 7 p.m., FREE (ticket required). Gen. Myers is a former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Chess Night. Aimees Coffehouse, 7 p.m., FREE. Fresh Ink. Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $3. BANG! BANG!/Head Like a Kite. The Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2. THURSDAY april 26 MONDAY april 30 may 1 SUNDAY april 29 SATURDAY april 28 FRIDAY april 27 WEDNESDAY may 2 VENUES where? Gallery Exhibit: Solutionation.Mirth Caf, 7 a.m.10 p.m., FREE. Paintings and mixed-media by Yuri Zupancic, Jeremy Rockwell and Jeromy Morris. The Dead Sea Scrolls. Science City at Union Station, 9:30 a.m. 7:30 p.m., $2036. Rumblejetts. Record Bar, 6:30 p.m., 21+, FREE. Student Chamber Ensemble Mens and Womens Glee. Trinity Lutheran Church, 7:30 p.m., FREE. Stone Sour/Lacuna Coil/ Shadows Fall. Beaumont Cl ub, 8 p. m. , al l ages, $27. 50. Montia/Hectic/Akierima/ Resin. Hurricane, 9 p.m., www.myspace.com/ montiamusic. Tommy Womack. The Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www. tommywomack.com. TUESDAY 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 17 04
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 Q&A Q&A Dr. Drew Pinsky medical doctor, relationship expert, television personality and, most famously, radio host has been dishing out sexual, health and addiction advice for decades. Dr. Drew answers Jayplays questions about sexual health and safety on campus. Q: What do you think is the biggest sexual health concern on college campuses today? I think the biggest concern is no different than in any other phase of life. Its about fnding relationships and being happy. In college, the social constrains are so unnatural that people try to negotiate the hook-up culture. Q: youve been vocal about hpv for a While noW. What should college students knoW about the virus? Everyone should be vaccinated; its been given approval for those aged 9 to 26.The earlier you get it, the more effective it is. The almost 4,000 deaths a year from cervical cancer caused by some strains of HPV can almost be eliminated. Fifty percent of college-aged people have the virus. Everyone should be vaccinated, use condoms and take careful risk measures. Q: hoW can students be safer and more healthy When going out? One of the big issues that were constantly dealing with is that if you look at every adverse health situation, like sexually transmitted diseases and even pregnancy, you fnd drugs or alcohol. People are getting loaded to handle the intensity of this unnatural social construct. They need to think of less intense ways to handle this social construct like having meals and sitting down together and giving each other one-on-one contact. Theres no single recipe for staying safe, but using less drugs and alcohol has an impact on staying safe. Its not about thinking that everyone needs to live up to the normative standard of the hormones-raging 17-year-old male. People are not happy when they just rely on the hook-up experience for a social life. Q: What about discovering neW things? Enjoy college. Its a time to spread your wings a bit and discover things on your own. Yet to constantly do the hook-up as your primary goal is wrong. Many of my patients with addictions and problems have shown that it starts in college. Their problems may not have spun out of control in the same way had they not been endorsed in college. with Dr. Drew Courtney Hagen In a new document, the Roman catholIc chuRch ReveRses Its teachIngs about lImbo, the spIRItual destInatIon foR the souls of babIes who dIe befoRe beIng baptIzed and cleansed of oRIgInal sIn. Because if theres one thing the Catholic Church discourages, its absurd fantastical beliefs based on nothing more than ancient traditions and blind faith. A new survey reveAls thAt the clergy, firefighters And other jobs thAt involve helping other people Are considered the most sAtisfying. Presidential candidate sen. Hillary clinton says tHat if sHe were elected, sHe would make Her Husband a roaming ambassador to tHe world. HAWK TOPICS RAINE REVIEWS NEWS YOU CAN USE 04.26.2007 JayPlay 05 Chris Raine ImpRobable AmericAn idol fInalIst sanjaya malakaR Is fInally voted off the show. Clinton later added,Seriously, anything to keep him out of the house. Not to worry, Sanjaya. As the careers of Ashlee Simpson, Jennifer Lopez, Fred Durst, 50 Cent and Fergie have shown us, America absolutely loves untalented ass clowns masquerading as entertainers. the supReme couRt votes to uphold a natIonwIde ban on contRoveRsIal paRtIal-bIRth aboRtIons In a 54 decIsIon. Let me get this straight now we can only get an abortion if the fetus hasnt been delivered yet? Isnt this America? I thought we were in America! A neW STudy fIndS THAT HeAvy drInKIng In COllege mAy InCreASe THe rISK Of HeArT dISeASe. Heavy drinking also appears to drastically increase the number of stupid, pointless and repetitive pictures people put on their Facebook profles. The least satisfying jobs included proctologist, referee, peep show janitor, fat camp massage therapist, Pauly Shores agent,Hawk Topics writer, and Greys Anatomy Fan Club President. the russiAn news service mAndAtes thAt 50 percent of All its rAdio news must be positive, with no mention of deAth, violence or poverty, And must portrAy the putin AdministrAtion in A positive light At All times. The news agency will also change its name to Fox News. new jersey governor jon corzine is criticAlly injured in A high-speed cAr wreck on his wAy to A meeting between shock jock don imus And the rutgers womens bAsketbAll teAm. The critical injury toll from Don Imuss insensitive remarks continues to rise, now including Corzines broken leg, sternum, vertebrae, collarbone, several ribs and the Rutgers womens basketball teams feelings. Speaking of Shetty, are you guys going to watch Greys Anatomy tonight? PrOTeSTOrS In IndIA burn effIgIeS Of ACTOr rICHArd gere AfTer He rePeATedly KISSeS ACTreSS SHIlPA SHeTTy On THe CHeeK durIng An AIdS AWAreneSS rAlly. THInK yOu HAve A beTTer jOKe? e-mAIl me AT hawktopics@kansan.com. the ncAA pAsses A rule restricting coAches from sending text messAges to potentiAl recruits. Now middle-aged men are going to have to fnd a new excuse for why theyre sending teenage boys text messages like,f U wrk on yor ball-handling U cn cum plA 4 me. F MUSIC THAT MOVES YOU 06
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 Listener: Thomas Sunderland, Overland Park junior Tune: Wonderous Stories by Yes While pumpin the jams, he was: Walking home He says: Its progressive rock. I like it because they push the envelope. Listener: Caitlin Tew, Allen, Texas, sophomore Tune: Undiscovered by Jessica Simpson While pumpin the jams, she was: Heading to work at KU Info in the Kansas Union She says: I got an iPod when I was a senior in high school. [Jessica Simpson] was popular then and I havent changed my music. Listener: Stephanie Bell, Leawood freshman Tune: Ceremony by New Order While pumpin the jams, she was: Going to her Spanish class in Wescoe She says: Its good music for sunny days; a nice, solid beat. Listener: Brandon Vaille, Olathe sophomore Tune: Rebubula by moe. While pumpin the jams, he was: Going to his American history class in Wescoe He says: I love jam bands. Anne Weltmer Back in the day: As a freshman, Lius interest in art led her to volunteer at the information desk at the Spencer Museum of Art. She eventually became a paid employee, earning her money as a membership assistant. She spent her weekends at the fne arts building working on studio projects. Liu was also involved with the Hispanic American Leadership Organization throughout her undergraduate career and became the groups vice president during her senior year. She also spent a semester studying in Golfto, Costa Rica. The grad life: After Liu graduated, she took a job at Art Frames, 912 Illinois St. She didnt stay gone for long, however, and she returned to the University for graduate school less than a year later. While working toward her masters in museum studies, she interned at the Spencer Museum of Art and later began working there full-time. Today: As collection manager at the Spencer Museum of Art, Liu says theres no such thing as a normal day. She says she enjoys the museum because it attracts interesting people especially her co-workers who care about the arts. She says: Dont just be involved with what youre studying but also be involved with extracurriculars and work. I think its really important to work when youre in school because it broadens your horizons. GRAD CHECK Sofa Galarza Liu Year: 2000 Degree: Art History Hometown: Lawrence Sam Carlson On a campus where 70 percent of the students are from Kansas, the 1,614 international students at KU are in the minority. Despite being thousands of miles from home, some international students have become more independent, but, like most students, they still miss home. The decision to study abroad isnt easy, and for some international students, like Julio Castillo, Sucre, Bolivia, junior, boarding a plane destined for the United States is the frst time they have left their country. Castillo followed his sisters footsteps in leaving Bolivia to study electrical engineering at KU because the universities are much better in the United States, he says.At the beginning, I was excited about coming to the United States, not exactly Kansas, he says with a laugh. I only heard about the Manhattan side of Kansas. Despite his original perception of Kansas, Castillo has grown to like the state and has gotten involved as a student ambassador for the Global Awareness Program, an initiative that recognizes undergraduates international experiences through study abroad, foreign language study and international co-curricular activities. He is also involved with the International Students Association, where he met Jakub Lichwa, an international student from Ropczyce, Poland. Lichwa, unlike Castillo, made his decision to study abroad months before enrolling at KU. After picking up a Newsweek magazine in Poland, the junior studied tuition rates and national rankings of American universities before calling family in Philadelphia for advice. He completed the Test of English as a Foreign Language (a test international students must take to demonstrate at least a limited profciency of the English language), sent his admission application to KU and began classes two months later. Dont let the quick decision fool you, though; Lichwa has always been interested in studying here. If you have an American degree in Europe, you have doors opened to you, he says. For international students like Lichwa, the cost of attending KU is the same as out-of-state tuition for domestic students. Opting for the more independent approach to orientating himself to the University, Lichwa skipped the traditional New International Student Orientation held the week before classes start in August. The New International Student Orientation allows students from 113 countries to meet new people, learn about KU and the U.S., and offers information sessions on topics such as enrolling, cultural adjustments, healthcare and safety. Although he doesnt regret not attending, Lichwa says he was frustrated with the lack of classes related to his major that were available when he fnally enrolled only a few days before the semester started. Even more frustrating than enrolling, which every KU student knows is a pain, is the bar scene in Lawrence, Lichwa says. In Europe, 18 is the legal age for driving and drinking, but because 21 is the minimum age for admittance into most Lawrence bars, Lichwa says, You have to be 21 to basically get out of your apartment. However, since turning legal age in September, he has been able to enjoy Lawrence more and has visited Las Vegas and Miami, two vacation destinations he says he cannot get enough of. Lichwa even gets to go home more often than most international students because he takes advantage of winter and summer breaks and easy fight connections out of New York City. Imran Ghazali, Karachi, Pakistan, junior, isnt always as fortunate to return home. Ghazali has been home only once since enrolling at the University in August 2004. I wasnt as excited as some other people were about starting classes at KU, he admits, but he has enjoyed the freedom of living independently of his parents. Moving more than 7,500 miles away from home has given him the autonomy of making his own decisions, so he can choose to eat at 3 a.m. or hang out with friends until late, he says. But he says he still misses his parents, family, friends and native food. Ghazali has certainly made the decision to get involved while studying at KU, which was briefy interrupted when he transferred to Johnson County Community College to save money on tuition his sophomore year. He is now on the executive board of the International Students Association, an organization that promotes international representation and activities on campus such as International Awareness Week, game nights and a Halloween party. He also helps organize concerts for the Pakistani Club, plays with the Cricket Club and attends Muslim Students Association meetings. I feel like I should put some time into my studies, but I would rather be involved, he says. Ghazali spends so much of his time with his organizations that most of his friends are also international students from various countries that he met in these clubs, but as his classes get smaller in the School of Business, he has made more American friends., he says Even halfway around the world, some things in class are the same for Ghazali. At home in Pakistan, most of the lectures in high school and college are conducted in English, so he doesnt fnd his classes here too diffcult. However, he says sometimes he thinks he needs extra time to understand the content properly, like during exams. Dr. Joe Potts, director of the International Student and Scholar Services, says he is delighted that international students have brought their world to Lawrence to share with other students. Ninety-fve percent of the world is un-American,so an education is incomplete and parochial unless it acquaints students with their entire world and not just the American sliver of it,he says. As for these three international juniors, each is looking forward to graduation in May 2008, but each will pursue a life as different as their cultures. Castillo wants to remain in the United States and is looking at graduate schools, where he is considering studying biomechanical engineering. If he stays, he will need to adjust to the food, which he currently hates because everything is frozen and processed, he says. Lichwas love of Miami forces him to quickly say he will live in Florida and fsh and play golf every day, but he too will be looking for a job to match his fnance major. Unlike the other two, he says he wouldnt mind returning to Europe to work in London. And in true upperclassmen style, Ghazali says, That has become a tricky question now. Even though he still has a year left to study at KU, he says his plans will depend on whether he gets a job, but his parents would like him to return home. From Albania to Zimbabwe, KU students come from all over the world by Jennifer Denny 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 07 people Top Foreign coUnTries represenTeD AT KU (and the number of students who hail from each country) China: 246 India: 198 South Korea: 180 Saudi Arabia: 148 Japan: 94 Taiwan: 64 France: 33 Canada: 31 Germany: 31 Brazil: 25 PHOTO/ ANNA FALTERMEIER Jakub Lichwa, Ropczyce, Poland, junior, Imran Ghazali, Karachi, Pakistan, junior, and Julio Castillio, Sucre, Bolivia, junior, are a few of the 1, 614 interna- tional students at KU. miles From orDinAry Do you know how many trees there are on campus? Lauren McCoy, Overland Park junior, does. McCoy works at KU Info and says the job itself isnt diffcult, and is more an exercise in resourcefulness than in being particularly knowledgeable. Its not about knowing the answer to every question,McCoy says.Its about being able to fnd the answers. People most frequently ask about campus telephone numbers and because of their popularity McCoy has memorized many of the main telephone numbers, including those for the Bursars Offce, the Student Recreation Fitness Center and the Freshman-Sophomore Advising Center, she says. Some questions are not as common, but McCoy is armed and ready. With the help of search engines like Google and Web sites like Wikipedia, McCoy quickly looks up answers online,making her job easier and more effcient than it would be without the Internet. Most of the questions are things that people could look up themselves,McCoy says. I just get paid to look it up for you. Having worked for KU Info for more than a year, McCoy has encountered bizarre questions including how big is the average walrus penis? McCoy is only obligated to answer questions about KU and the campus, and never has to answer questions that make her uncomfortable. But, she says, she is willing to answer random questions as long as the callers arent rude about it. Just for the record, McCoy estimates there are about 18,000 trees on campus. KU Info can be reached at (785) 864-3506 or online at kuinfo.ku.edu. Dani Hurst 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 17 08
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 Girl: I think its great that KU offers Yiddish, but I think its because the Chancellors son converted to Judaism. Professor: Still, Yiddish in Kansas. Its great. Girl 1: I really need a B in my chem class. Girl 2: So are you gonna have sex with the teacher? Girl 1: Well, he is about 70 years old. So absolutely! Girl 1 (on phone): Yeah, I think itll really affect my grade dramastically. Girl 2 (whispering to Girl 3): Did she just say dramastically? Girl 3: Yeah, I think so. Guy (on phone): Nah, man. I dont have to go to class at all next week, so I aint trippin. Girl: I was so excited about 4/20. I was even writing it all over my notebooks and doodling. Then I realized that I couldnt even celebrate it because I have so much shit to do. Dammit! Girl (on phone): So I woke up this morning naked. My car was gone and I had no idea how I got home or what I did last night. Guy 1: Is it true that that Wallfowers song One Headlight is about erect nipples? Guy 2: I doubt it. Guy 1: Well, its just that in pornos Ive heard people refer to erect nipples as headlights. Guy 2: Oh, yeah. I see it. Professor: Oh look. Ive found a dime. Did anyone lose a dime? Class: (shakes heads no) Professor: Ill just put it on the desk in case. (resumes lecture) Dani Hurst WHAT its like to work at kU info TomorroWs news If youre looking to drop your cell phone service provider but youre reluctant to shell out early termination fees, head to www.cellswapper.com. For a $14.95 success fee, you can transfer your plan to someone who is looking for a short-term cell phone commitment. Simply post your cell phone plan details on the site with an optional incentive to buy (usually cash or your old phone) and wait for someone to swap in to your plan. Once youve swapped out, you are no longer fnancially responsible for your cell phone plan. Bonus: If you transfer your old plan using Cell Swapper then swap in to a new plan, the site refunds 25 percent of your original success fee.
Becka Cremer WesCoe wit Dont Stand IN LINE GO ONLINE BUY PARKING PERMITS ONLINE STEP PROCESS * 1. LOG onto the Kyou Portal 2. CLICK on the Services tab to sign up 3. CHECK your mail Permit will be mailed to you! 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 09 nOtiCe photos/ AnnA FAltermeier Fresh herbs are abundant in spring and give dishes much better favors than dried herbs, says hilary Brown, owner of local Burger. here is her recipe for dairy-free pesto, which substitutes white miso for parmesan cheese and walnuts for the pine nuts found in the traditional italian recipe. the miso and walnuts add essential fatty acids and omega-3s, which beneft the brain, increase metabolism and keep blood sugar levels stable. 5 cups loosely packed fresh basil 1/3 cup olive oil 12 small garlic cloves 1/2 tablespoon light white miso paste 1/2 cup walnuts 1/41/2 teaspoon salt put the basil in a food processor frst and pulse a few times. Add the walnuts and pulse a few more times and then add garlic, miso, olive oil and salt. Blend until smooth and add more garlic or salt to taste. makes enough for a small crowd to use as a dip or spread, or enough to serve over pasta for 68 people. Chuck haren, stillwell sophomore, says he enjoys going grocery shopping with no meal in mind and picking ingredients based on what looks good. he created this simple, fast, easy and pretty deliciouspasta dish last week. 1/2 lb pasta 1 large red bell pepper, cut into large chunks 12 cloves chopped garlic small handful of fresh basil parmesan cheese 1 tablespoon olive oil salt and pepper to taste Cook pasta according to package instructions. heat olive oil and chopped garlic together over medium heat. Add red pepper chunks, basil and salt and pepper, and saut for a few minutes until soft. toss with cooked pasta and sprinkle parmesan cheese on top. serves 34. For other spring recipes, head into the Community mercantile and check out their recipe corner or talk with the vendors at the Downtown lawrence Farmers market. After months of hearty comfort food, a variety of fresh spring ingredients are now available in lawrence. take advantage of the spring harvest, and enjoy a clean, healthy meal you can linger over while sitting outside and embracing the warm weather. When you dont want to cook many lawrence restaurants use local seasonal produce in their menus. pachamamas, 800 new hampshire st., and local Burger, 714 Vermont st., are two that take advantage of what every season has to offer. Pachamamas spring is a new beginning, says Ken Baker, owner and executive chef of pachamamas. its my favorite time of the year, he says. lots of crops are coming up and there are many fresh ingredients available. pachamamas changes its menu every month so that the items contain the best seasonal ingredients, many of which are produced locally,Baker says.some of Bakers favorite ingredients to include in his spring menu are morel mushrooms, fava beans, asparagus, snap peas and young chicken or lamb. For a taste of spring, try the 24-hour leg of spring lamb with vidalia onion, minted pea cream, pea shoots, curry oil and lentil crisps ($12) or the tagliatelle with blonde morels, chive crme fraiche and parmesan ($13) on pachamamas April menu. Local Burger spring produce has good energy and favors, says hilary Brown, owner of local Burger, 714 Vermont st.i love the colors and the freshness, she says. they really make meals come together. local Burger emphasizes sustainability and awareness of where food comes from. Dishes are made using local and regional ingredients. Buying local produce does so much, from benefting the economy to tasting better and being better for you, Brown says. try the chicken salad made with local chicken, parsley, peas and thyme ($7.50) or a turkey burger topped with feta and pesto ($8) paired with a strawberry hemp milk smoothie ($4). When you do want to cook lawrence has plenty of grocery stores, but to fnd local produce the options are a little more limited. here are your best bets for fnding fresh local ingredients. The Community Mercantile seasonal staples such as asparagus, fresh herbs and peas will be at the Community mercantile, 901 iowa st., in abundance very soon, says laura Cowden, produce manager at the merc. now that spring has arrived, people are buying more fresh foods and ingredients they dont have to cook to enjoy, she says. the merc has more than 125 produce items in store during the year and has the only UsDA Certifed organic produce section in lawrence. Chuck haren, stilwell sophomore, says he shops at the merc because of the great selection of organic produce. i buy organic because i like the idea of putting pure food into my body that has no pesticides or chemicals, he says. Buying quality organic food is often more expensive than the non-organic alternatives, but haren says its worth it because he feels better and its better for the environment. As a college student, haren says he has to make time to cook, but he enjoys cooking, so he makes it a priority. You have to be open-minded. i sometimes go shopping with $6 and get what i can and make something delicious, he says. its kind of a challenge. The Downtown Lawrence Farmers Market the Downtown lawrence Farmers market is the oldest farmers market in Kansas and includes more than 80 vendors. everything offered is grown or made in northeast Kansas. mercedes taylor-puckett, market coordinator, says the local community aspect is what makes shopping at the market different from shopping at a grocery store. Food at the market is fresher and more nutritious because it only has to travel an average of 15 miles to get to lawrence compared to hundreds of miles some food has to travel to get here, she says. Buying directly from the vendors at the market allows people to ask questions about how the product was grown or raised. Vendors also encourage people to try ingredients they wouldnt otherwise use because they can advise people about how to prepare an unusual ingredient, taylor-puckett says. the market offers a variety of products ranging from herbs, greens, vegetables, fruits, cheeses, meats, preserves and baked goods. the market won frst place for best fresh vegetables in the Best of lawrence 2006 survey. its open from 7 to 11 a.m. at 824 new hampshire st. on saturdays and from 4 to 6 p.m. at 1020 Vermont st. on tuesdays and thursdays. Celebrate the return of nice weather with fresh, healthy meal ideas by Katrina Mohr Spring eatS
try theSe reCipeS requiring Spring ingriedientS
(left) Jam from Cardinal Hill Farm is available at the Downtown Lawrence Farmers Market. (top left) Julie and Joe Randtke, Lawrence residents, shop for tomatoes at the Pendletons Country Market stand at the Lawrence Farmers Market Saturday morning. parents updated on some things in your life, its also important to establish boundaries to your conversations. One of the most important things to remember is to not lash out at your parents because youre frustrated, Medea says. In the end, lashing out only invites moreunwelcomequestions and therefore you dont get what you want. Instead, she suggests responding respectfully by saying that the question was too personal and decline to answer.This causes parents to do a double take, Medea says. Its a very adult thing to do. Arguments are inevitable when families are adjusting to you being away from home. If an argument does happen, its good to sit down with your parents and lay down some ground rules of what you will and will not talk about with them. If you prepare ahead of time, it decreases the possibility of your parents asking random questions, says Ed Bloch, a clinical social worker and therapist. Explain to your parents that although you still love them, you need to be able to build relationships with your peers because they are the ones who ultimately will support you while youre at school, he says. In thesesituations,its important to avoid coming off as critical, King says. If someone blames, criticizes or accuses their parents of doing something wrong, their parents get defensive and a fght begins. An alternative way to deal with the situation is to demand their respect but also remind them that you still need their input, King says. Its important to make sure they know you dont want to get rid of them. Its hard for them, too To avoid possible resentment from parents, keep in mind that they are having a diffcult time as well. Susan Schwartz, Memphis, Tenn., junior, says that her dad often sends her a text message to see if she can talk. If she doesnt respond, hell call and if she doesnt pick up, he sends another text message. Although she explains that sometimes she doesnt want to be disturbed, she says she realizes that her parents dont see her every day and have a right to worry. Oftentimes when students feel hounded by their parents, they can become frustrated and avoid contact with their parents. When I began to withdraw, my mom started to pop up everywhere. She joined Facebook, MySpace and even Xanga, often leaving messages for me and even my friends. I began to feel digitally claustrophobic. I couldnt escape her presence and unfortunately, it made me avoid her even more than I had before. It wasnt until a couple of months ago when I was talking to her on the phone that she said, All I want is to feel like Im part of your life, but you never call me anymore. Her words stung me because before I had felt that she was the problem. She was too intrusive. She was overbearing. But after she said those words, I realized that I had neglected her. If you, like me, have been guilty of avoiding your parents when they begin to become more intrusive, there are some ways to reassure them that you still want them in your life. First of all, push them for time. This may seem crazy considering they already seem intrusive, but spending quality time alone with your parents can help give you some space. Medea suggests taking mom out for breakfast or helping dad fx the car. During your time together you can tell them whats going on in your life while asking them questions as well. This not only eases their fears about what youre up to, but also shows them that youre mature enough to have adult conversations. Gekas says that during her frst years ofcollegeher mom expressed worry that their relationship was becoming more distant. At the time, Gekas was confused because they talked frequently. She says she realized later that her responses to her moms questions were often one word and without substance. If theres not quality in your conversation, its worthless, she says. Now she makes a point to expand upon her answers to create more meaningful conversation. Parents want whats best for their children, often fnding it hard to let go when they still question themselves on whether they did a good job raising us. They have CONTINUED ONPAGE 12 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 11 10 JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 Going home can be a struggle, but it doesnt have to be the end of your relationship with your parents By Laura Evers When I beGan to WIthdraW, my momstarted to pop up everyWhere. she joIned Facebook, myspace and even XanGa, oFten leavInG messaGes For me and even my FrIends. Growing up, I had a great relationshipwith my mom.I looked forward to coming home from school and telling her about my day. She listened intently as I went into detail about boys I thought were cute and why my best friend was making me mad. She was my rock and in many ways I was hers. I felt that I couldnt make a decision without her by my side and always knew everything would be OK as long as she was in my life. And then I went to college. The struggle for independence Before college, I never planned on pulling away from my parents. They were who I turned to for comfort and were always my best supporters. But once I arrived at KU, I felt I needed to branch out and do things on my own. I wanted them in my life, but I needed room to grow as an adult. Some of us struggle to gain independence from our parents when we frst come to college. Whether it be doing our own laundry or payingbills,wegradually become adults. Although learning to be independent is important, it often causes families distress when we return home during the school year. Because students become more responsible and self-suffcient while away at school, they are often faced with the challenge of re-introducing themselves to their parents when they arrive home, says Andra Medea, author of Going Home without Going Crazy. The best way to do this is by showing your parents how youve matured. Be mindful not to fall back into old habits, Medea says. When you do this, youll have a harder time convincing your parents that youve grown up. Dont refuse to pick up your dirty clothes or address your parents in a whiney tone when theyre upset with you. Doing this will only make your parents treat you like a 14-year-old, because these things are typical of a 14-year-olds behavior. Instead, address your parents in a deeper, more adult tone. This will surprise the parent and help them realize youve grown up and matured, Medea says. Many arguments begin because the returning student feels he must push away in order to prove his independence, often causing tension in the household. Its a hard transition for families, says Jeff King, a marriage and family therapist in Lawrence. Parents dont know if they still have authority or if they should act as their childs peer.This uncertainty can often create apprehension in the family. Unwanted advice The problems between my mom and I arose about a year after I moved out. I had recently begun datinga guy who lived in my dorm. Because I hadnt dated in the past, it was a new experience for both of us. For the frst time in my life, I was experiencing something that I wanted to keep to myself. Almost immediately after discussing my new relationship with my mom, I started receiving several e-mails a day. The subject lines included making a relationship last and the fundamentals of dating, among other things. I knew she was trying to be helpful, but it made me feel like I was being told what to do. I had turned to her in the past for advice, but in this situation, I really just wanted to fgure out the relationship on my own. This was a very confusing time for her because, in the past, I had told her everything that was on my mind and all of a sudden I was more guarded. Adjusting to new ways of communication can be diffcult for both parents and their children. Its a process of growing up and re-negotiating the most important relationships of your life, says Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger: A Womens Guide to Changing Patterns of Intimate Relationships. When you go home, its an anxious time. If your mother manages anxiety by giving advice, she will do it more. Avoid distancing I never knew how to handle the advice I received from my mom. Eventually, I stopped returning many of her phone calls and didnt reply to her e-mails. But isolating yourself from your parents only makes the problem worse. If your parents call 12 times a day, your tendency may be to distance, which causes your parents anxiety, Lerner says. If your parents are being intrusive, the challenge is to be clear about what is best for you without being emotionally distancing. Instead of getting mad, Lerner suggests approaching the situation with humor. She recommends saying something like, Mom, youre acting like the American Red Cross here. Do I look like I need rescuing? After this is done, parents usually back off. Its a way to set personal boundaries. Check in When I went home for summer breaks, my parents usually wanted to know what time I would get back from a night out with my friends. When I was a child, I felt that it was all right for them to wait up for me and worry, but now that I was on my own, I felt these questions were unreasonable. Andrea Crawford, Overland Park senior, had a similar experience. I dont get a lot of independence when I go home, she says. I cant really go out anywhere very late because my parents cant sleep until I get back. Parents want to know their child is safe, but the questions they asked when their child still lived at home are no longer appropriate for a college student. Lizzie Hartman, Shawnee freshman, has also experienced the shock of coming home and being re-introduced to curfews. At school, she could stay out as long as she wanted, but when she went home she was surprised that her parents got upset after she returned home a couple of hours later than she had told them she would. Fortunately, shes reached a compromise with her parents. They get concerned that something has happened to me, Hartman says. The rule now is I just have to call, say where I am, who Im with and let them know Im going to be late. I feel that if thats all I have to change, than I can deal with that.
Set boundaries Besides wanting to know when youll be home, parents often try to fnd out the basics of their childs life. Christina Gekas, Eden Prairie, Minn., senior, says she was often frustrated by her moms attempts to fnd out about the boys in her life, even turning to her brother to fnd out more information. Although its good to keep 10 JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 Many families struggle to adjust when students return home. Its a hard transition for families, says Jeff King, a marriage and family therapist in Lawrence. Parents dont know if they still have authority or if they should act as their childs peer. Photos/ ???? PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS/ SARAH LEONARD CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11 become accustomed to having control. The thought of losing that and allowing their children to run their own lives can leave them with fear for their childs future, King says. Pam Allen, a clinical social worker in Topeka, says that parents want so much for their child to do well that it sometimes hurts the relationship. Parents struggle with trusting their children to make the right decision, she says. Sometimes the fear can be so big that it puts a barrier in the relationship. Besides worrying about you, parents also struggle to redefne their own place in the world after you move out. I got really depressed during this time, my mom told me. All of a sudden I had all this extra time and no one to mother. Its very diffcult to go through what King calls the launching stage, the period when a young person gradually becomes more independent. So far, theyve been defned as being a parent, King says. They experience a sense of loss. They need their kids to still need them. Coming home is also stressful for parents because they know your visit is short-lived and you will leave again. To connect more with her mom while shes away at school, Gekas is trying to teach her mom to use Gmail chat. That way they can talk more frequently and her mom wont feel as much distance between them, she says. Learn to communicate A leading mistake among families is their lack of communication. According to Bloch, families must put it out there that they are going through a diffcult transition. There is an expectation that it should be easy to handle, he says. Its better to talk about your feelings than hide them. Allen says its important to recognize the time as an adjustment. The transition will not be smooth at all times, but not communicating and losing the relationship can only cause harm to the student involved. If a young adult can maintain contact with their parents, they will most likely be more stable and grounded, she says. On the other hand, if a student is cut off from their parents, they can become more vulnerable to develop a problem with alcohol or drugs. Ive changed a lot of things in the past few months. Now when my mom calls, I call her back and make an attempt to ask her about her day. Although our relationship isnt perfect, (but whose is, right?) I realize now why it got to the point it did. We both made mistakes, but well overcome them because we love each other. Theres a myth that when you go away to college, you should separate from your parents and they should let go, Lerner says. This notion is fairly unhealthy and inaccurate because if things go well, family is forever. Theres a myTh ThaT when you go away To college, you should separaTe from your parenTs and They should leT go. harrieT lerner 12
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 Serial ShopperS When Caitlin Feighny wants to head downtown to go shopping, she has a sorority full of 80 girls she can invite along. Feighny goes clothes shopping about once a week and almost always asks if any of her sorority sisters want to join her on the way out the door. Usually they just browse, she says, but sometimes several of her friends will go shopping together with a specific purpose, like finding an outfit for an upcoming theme party. If someones birthday is coming up and we all want to look really good, well go together, Feighny says. Feighny, Topeka senior, is not alone in her habitual attire-hunting habits. Women and men of all ages regularly use shopping as a form of entertainment, a platform for conversation and even a (relatively) inexpensive type of therapy.The American economy is fueled by consumption, and so, we consume. But while the purchases made in a retail store might be external goods, the allure of shopping is not just superficial. There are physiological reasons why shopping feels good the catch is that the shoppers high, however sweet, is always short-lived. The emotional high shoppers feel right before they purchase an item is actually a release of dopamine, the same chemical in the brain that makes an addict crave and anticipate a drug fix. Dopamine activity in the brain increases in anticipation of many different types of rewards, from gambling-related rewards to monetary and social rewards, says Dr. Susan Bookheimer, assistant professor of the Brain Mapping Division and Brain Research Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine. Unfortunately, after the initial excitement of an anticipated purchase fades, consuming can turn sour and shoppers may be left with buyers remorse or a sadly skinny wallet. Nick Bideler, Fort Smith, Ariz., junior, overspent earlier this month and says he already owns more jeans than he needs. By his own estimate, Bideler could avoid doing laundry for up to three weeks and not run out of jeans to wear. Feighny, who works 15 hours a week and is taking 20 hours of classes this semester, says she rewards herself by shopping. I dont have time to go see movies, she says, so I take that $14 that I would have spent on two movies and spend it on something that will last me even longer. Feighny says that she gets excited to open her closet and see a new top, but that her lift in mood is short-lived. Its nice to get lots of compliments on something new, she says, but ultimately I recognize that its a superficial thing. Some people do not share Feighnys rational take on shopping: as many as 15 percent of young Americans suffer from a psychological disorder called compulsive consumption, says Tim Kasser, associate professor of psychology at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill., and author of The High Price of Materialism. These people feel an overwhelming sense that they need to consume something, Kasser says, and end up shopping compulsively, not unlike a binge eater, to assuage stressful situations. Even healthy people shop because it feels good. Shopping is an American pastime, Kasser says. He says that after 9/11, when George W. Bush was asked what the average American could do to help, he responded with one simple command: Shop. Most people of Generation Y define themselves by the clothes they wear and the music they purchase, Kasser says. Clothes are one of the main ways by which we express our identities and are also our main avenue for attracting the sexual attention of our desired mates, he says. Natalie Kelley, Wichita senior, says that her clothes are of a reflection of her personality and mood. Kelley, who works at Gap, 736 Massachusetts St., says she usually shops at least twice a week. Kelley and her closest friend shop together, and actually call each other and request retail therapy when they are stressed out or upset. But Kelley says she would usually rather spend her time doing more productive things like going to the gym or hanging out with her friends. Spending time developing relationships is one part of a set of values that Kasser says are ultimately more satisfying than materialistic endeavors. Kasser says that developing a sense of identity, nuturing relationships with friends and loved ones, and fostering a sense of community involvement through volunteering ultimately makes people happier than external endeavors like shopping. There are studies that show that people who shop religiously are actually not happy people, Kasser says, and there are also studies that show that people who volunteer regularly are the happiest of all. Focusing on these intrinsic values, Kasser says, will create more satisfaction than a great sale every time. The highs and lows of compulsive consumption by Jaime Netzer 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 13 ouT pHoTo/ AMANDA SELLERS Natalie Kelley, Wichita senior, says she uses retail therapy to distract her from stress.
Just dont go shopping. Try to avoid going to expensive places. Instead, shop somewhere cheap. Nick Bideler, Fort Smith, Ariz., junior
Im no saint when it comes to spending money, but in order to avoid overspending, check your fnances online so that you can be aware of how much money you spend and how much money you have coming in the next few weeks. If your friend wants to go shopping, leave your money and credit cards at home! Caitlin Feighny, Topeka senior If you randomly buy something and dont wear it within two weeks, return it because you obviously dont need it. Try to shop sales and avoid buying anything at full price. Natalie Kelley, Wichita senior how do i avoid SpeNdiNg Too much? 14
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 how we met Duran Duran. Icees. If you were In a coma for 20 years, whats the one thIng you would most lIke to see stIll around when you woke up? would you take a rIde wIth davId hasselhoff In hIs car from Knight RideR If he wasnt wearIng any pants and k.I.t.t. was playIng prInces PuRPle Rain? what are some rules for survIvIng horror movIes lIke Basic instinct 2 and talladega nights? how cool would It be to have a prescrIptIon for medIcal marIjuana? do you have any frIends or relatIves who are convInced that they belong to an elIte fIghtIng group of breakdancIng nInjas? You can never turn down a ride from Hasselhof in the car. Its mandatory. Probably not. No, but my uncle over in Cleveland thinks he belongs to an elite group of aliens. No, but my friends think they can breakdance. Whats wrong with Talladega Nights? I really liked Talladega Nights. Its not hard to get. It just costs $300 to get the card here in California. Yeah, that would be pretty nice for those stressful days. Lindsay Breese Topeka junior Jamie Kennedy Kickin It Old Skool Matthew Foster Drag queen auction, naked Twister, tripping on mushrooms: these are just a few of the details Liane Eisenbart, Independence junior, and Ryan OLeary, Manhattan senior, mention when they talk about the frst time they met seven years ago. They began writing each other after hanging out for only 12 hours at a camp and a few months later spent one more night together before OLeary left for New Mexico. After Eisenbart graduated from high school, she hitched a ride to New Mexico and was dropped off near where OLeary was staying. She says she hiked into the desert with only a jug of water and a backpack to fnd him living in a cave. They lived in the cave for a few months and stayed in New Mexico a couple of years, where they had their frst child, Blue, 5. They moved back to Kansas six months later to settle in Lawrence and eventually have their second child, Roads, 14 months. hitch-hiking for love Matthew Foster Do you have what it takes to maintain a long-distance relationship? When a coupon comes in the mail free chips and a drink, buy one get one free anything whats the catch? To get a little you have to give a lot. You get ready to leave for college and you meet the man of your dreams. The catch? He goes to school 221 miles away. Kim Calabrese, Tulsa, Okla., senior, has been in a long- distance relationship with Grant Parker, a senior at Okalahoma State University in Stillwater, Okla., for the past four years. The two began dating the summer before their freshman year of college, but didnt believe it would become a long-term relationship. Calabrese wasnt sure whether the relationship would work out because she hadnt built up enough trust in Parker and was only going to see him once every two months, she says. But a month into school, the two decided to give it a try. Being geographically challenged is not exactly ideal for a relationship, but millions of people live through it every day. The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships estimates that 7 million couples in the United States are in a long- distance relationship and about 78 percent of college students have been in one at some point during their time at school. Not all students are capable of handling a long-distance relationship. It helps if youre an independent person who would spend a lot of time away from your partner if you were in the same city, says Caroline Tiger, author of The Long-Distance Relationship Guide: Advice for the Geographically Challenged. Long- distance relationships are more manageable in college because there is an end point you will be together in the summer or after graduation, she says. Being in college can also make long-distance relationships more diffcult, Its been the hardest thing Ive ever had to do, Calabrese says. It takes a bigger chunk of your life than you think. Communication, trust and being able to handle the distance are essential in making a long- distance relationship last. Can you talk the talk? Expressing your feelings is key in sustaining the relationship, but you have to learn how to talk to your partner. Because long- distance relationships lack face- to-face communication, many people search for interaction elsewhere. Some people may fnd a stand in boyfriend or girlfriend, often a close friend with whom they develop a relationship stronger than the one they have with their partner, Tiger says. To avoid this confict, make sure you talk to your partner daily. Calabrese says that she and Parker talk at least two to three times a day depending on their schedules. Long-distance relationships often force couples to talk about feelings they might not discuss otherwise and may strengthen the relationship, says Jeff King, a marriage and family therapist in Lawrence. Calabrese says Parker has a tough time expressing his emotions over the phone, which strains their relationship. She advises couples to learn how to talk on the phone and express emotion through words. If you cant do that, a long-distance relationship might not be a good idea. The oath of secrecy Unless you wear a sign around your neck that says taken, youre fair game to all the other fsh in sea, and if you test the waters, no one will know about it but you. Stephanie Ferguson, Wichita junior, has been dating her boyfriend, Phil Witek, a junior at Wichita State University, for two years. She says you really have to trust the other person, especially in college. Ferguson doesnt care if Witek calls her from parties because she expects him to go out, but when she calls him, the tables turn. People are more likely to become jealous while in a long-distance relationship because of the lack of face-to- face contact, Tiger says. Jealousy can be avoided if you set the boundaries early on and make a pact to tell each other where youre going, she says. Sometimes love just isnt enough to overcome the miles of highway that stand between you and your partner. When Parker told Calabrese he was going to stay at school for the summer, she told him it wouldnt work. I didnt want to be pushy, but summer was our only time together, so I told him he had to make a choice, she says. Parker ultimately decided to spend the summer at home with Calabrese and they have been dating ever since. Though her long-distance relationship has lasted, Calabrese says if she could do it all over again she wouldve gone through college without it. She says she feels lucky to have found someone she genuinely cares about, but wishes she would have met Parker after college, rather than before. Keep in mind that college is a playground and might not be the best time for a serious long- distance relationship,Tiger says. Going the distance is not for everyone it takes a certain type of person to handle the tribulations of a long-distance relationship. The key for keeping them going, King says, is learning and growing as a person independent of the relationship while exploring your lives together. by Nicole Korman GoiNG the DistaNce PHOTO ILLUSTRaTION/ SaRaH LEONaRD 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 15 activities for loNG- DistaNce couples
Buy a box of chocolates and place a short note under each one.
Have a calendar made with your pictures on it.
Have phone sex.
Make a jar of M&Ms with the same number of candies as days you will be gone and instruct your signifcant other to eat one a day. Source: longdistancecouples. com coNtact uNless you wear a siGN arouND your NecK that says taKeN, youre fair Game to all the other fish iN sea, aND if you test the waters, No oNe will KNow about it but you. If you have a place to go when this blows up in your face, then youre welcome to try it. Im not saying this hasnt worked for some couple somewhere, but if youve only known him a few months, you should really spend more time getting to know him (from your separate places) before making such a huge step. If your relationship proves strong enough to stand the test of time and you reach a point when moving in together seems like the natural next step, then go for it (Im of the opinion that living together before marriage often does more harm than good). Enjoy the honeymoon stage while you can. Living apart allows you to get excited to see each other and think about each other when youre not together. And there are no fnancial issues or dirty dishes or laundry to wash. It sounds like youre moving really fast, pun intended. I realize you might be crazy about each other right now, but remember that the fame that burns twice as brightly burns half as long. Wait a little longer and you could set the house on fre (in the good way). Please send your questions and concerns to bitch@kansan.com moan BITCH + 16
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 For some, a key to your place symbolizes a key to your heart. The huge ordeal probably isnt as much about having the key as it is about the fact that you wont let her have it. She probably feels you arent totally letting her into your life. So do some thinking why dont want to let her in? Is it that you just dont want someone else having a key to your place or is it an emotional issue? Are you afraid of commitment? Why? Are you afraid of committing to her? Or maybe you just dont like giving out keys because you never get them back. Explain that to her and tell her you arent married and you like that you have your place and she has hers. Youre together when you want to be and apart when you want to be. And this way you never have to worry about her trashing your place if you break up, or having to pay a locksmith to prevent that from happening. If she doesnt understand the terms or needs more than that, shes free to leave. And you can lock the door behind her. My girlfriend wants to have a key to My place, but i dont see why she needs one. she told Me itd be a lot easier that way, since she spends so Much tiMe at My place and soMe of her stuff is there, too. is this really that big of a deal? clark, senior My boyfriend and i have been dating for a few Months and we recently decided to Move in together. our friends think its a bad idea. what do you think? claire, sophoMore with Niloofar Shahmohammadi People who think the Lied Center isnt for them probably havent been there. Its not about liking it all, its about loving Kate Giessel, KU senior A MOMENT.
The Pink Floyd
Experience Sept. 21 We are performing arts The 2007-08 season is coming, and KU students, you come rst! lied.ku.edu 785-864-2787 *Some restrictions apply All student tickets HALF PRICE. * Tickets on sale NOW. 2007-08 Season Calendar August 17 Trout Fishing in America FREE Outdoor Concert September 8 Irene Bedard & Deni 21 The Pink Floyd Experience 29 Fred Garbo Inflatable Theater Co. October 16 Cloud Gate Dance Theatre of Taiwan 19 Ahn Trio 25 Hairspray November 1 Shaolin Warriors 7 The Second City 10 Claremont Trio 17 The Merry Widow, Czech Opera Prague 28 Peter Pan December 8 Eileen Ivers holiday concert January 19 Royal Philharmonic Orchestra with Pinchas Zukerman 25 Chiara String Quartet February 8 Philip Glass 12 Ring of Fire, the music of Johnny Cash 15 Royal Scots Dragoon and the Band of the Coldstream Guards 17 Takcs Quartet with Joyce Yang 19 The Musical Adventures of Flat Stanley 29 Catch-22, Aquila Theatre Company March 9 The Aspen Ensemble 12 Pilobolus Dance Theatre 26 Urban Bush Women/ Compagnie JANT-BI April 8 HMS Pinafore 10 Gabriela Montero 12 East Village Opera Co. May 1 Movin Out Hairspray Oct. 25 Pilobolus Dance Theatre March 12 Summer barbeques usually include food, friends and, unfortunately, the pesky presence of fies. These bountiful bugs bring dangerous and disgusting health conditions to the table. Because they feast on animal waste and garbage, housefies often carry bacteria and viruses. Diarrhea, eye infections and food poisoning are a few examples of the illnesses that can be picked up from fies. A study published in the June 2006 issue of Applied and Environmental Microbiology by the department of entomology at Kansas State University found that certain housefies deposit a type of bacteria resistant to antibiotics. Of the 260 housefies gathered from fve food-handling and serving facilities, 97 percent tested positive for Enterococcus faecalis, a bacteria responsible for many human infections and known for its resistance to antibiotics. The number of effective antibiotics used against human infections continues to decline and bacteria and infectious diseases are now the third leading cause of death in the U.S, says Lilia Macovei, Kansas State research associate and author of the study. So whether its by swatting, sticky fypapers or bug sprays, fnd a way to keep the fies off your plate this summer. The sport: Called a traditional American pastime by the National Horseshoe Pitchers Association of America, horseshoes makes for an easy summer backyard game. The gear: Horseshoes, two stakes and an even number of people with strong arms are all you need to get a game of horseshoes going. Sporting goods stores such as Dicks Sporting Goods, 15280 W. 119th St. in Olathe, carry horseshoe sets that include shoes and stakes starting at $19.99. The rules: Set up stakes 40 feet apart. Designate a foul line (for women, the line is usually 27 feet from the stake; for men, the line is usually 37 feet from the stake). Then, split the players into two equal teams. Each team receives two horseshoes. Decide which team will throw frst and have the frst player from that team throw both shoes from the designated foul line. Tally points from the frst players throw. If a shoe lands within six inches of the stake or touches the stake, the team receives one point. If the shoe encircles, or rings the stake, the team receives three points. After the frst teams player pitches the shoes, the frst player from the opposing team throws from the same side. Alternate sides until every player has thrown. Play until one team reaches 40 points. The Kansas connection: The frst horseshoe throwing tournament open to anyone in the world took place in Bronson, Kan., in 1910, according to the National Horseshoe Pitchers Association of America. Frank Johnson, Blue Mound resident, won the tournament and received a world championship belt embellished with horseshoes. Jackson held onto the championship title until 1913, when Rosedale resident Robert Pierce claimed the championship. Jackson regained the title in 1914 and 1915 and no Kansas native has held the championship title since then. The current world champion is Alan Francis of Defance, Ohio. Francis has held the title since 2003. The 2007 world tournament will take place in Ardmore, Okla., from July 23 to Aug. 4. Source: National Horseshoe Pitchers Association of America 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 17 08
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 HorsesHoes sport specs Houseflies that's disgusting Kim Wallace Elyse Weidner 18
JAYPLAY 04.26.2007 All rAtings Are out of A possible five stArs. The only Oscar-winning performance in Vacancy goes to that teenage couple sitting in the third row, who need to act frightened for an excuse to cuddle while the seats around them become the same as this flm vacant of anything redeemable. Quarreling spouses David and Amy Fox (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale) walk into a Bates Motel-inspired death trap where the quirky innkeeper (Frank Whaley) gets his kicks recording and then selling torture tapes starring his unfortunate guests. Their relationship rekindled in the face of danger, David and Amy agree to put past problems behind them and start anew if they can survive. Vacancy ranks right up with your typical cornball slasher fick in predictability, despite the fact that it avoids going overboard with gore. Director Nimrod Antal and writer Mark L Smith could have learned a few things from Hitchcock about creating suspense by withholding motives until the end (pardon the gross understatement and ridiculous comparison). Instead, Vacancy reveals all its blah tricks in the frst half hour, leaving a sedated audience lazily awaiting a twist that never comes. The only surprise is downright laughable: Wilsons character seemingly comes back to life, showing that this R-rated movie hasnt outgrown the self-limiting need for a happy ending. Rated R 80 minutes
Vacancy Ian Stanford MOVIE $3 urritos Iro 3 to cIose Sundays Will Never Be The Same THE PERKS Reservations are optional, but recommended. Make by phone or at www.eldridgehotel.com
$3 OFF with KUID (Originally $14.95) ALL YOU CAN EAT Complimentary Mimosa with Brunch Omelette Bar Carving Station Made to Order Waes Eggs Benedict Dierent Quiche each Week Fresh Fish Pasta Feature Chef s Special Mac & Cheese Assorted Desserts 701 Massachusetts 7857491005
SUNDAY BRUNCH 10:30am2pm OFFERING 15 ITEMS INCLUDING: Ive endured the stares, the comments and the surprised eyes when people see me with him. Ive answered countless questions about what life is like with him. I did my best to hide him during my junior high and high school years. But for one important moment of my high school career, I wanted him to be there. My father is 80 years old. Before I hit my teen years, the 59-year age gap didnt faze me. Wed eat ice cream at Braums on lazy Sunday afternoons and stop at the gas station after school to buy candy. When people joked about their parents remembering when ice cream and candy cost a nickel, I never thought twice about the fact that my dad really did remember when they cost a nickel. I never questioned when Dad drove his 1986 wood- paneled station wagon 25 mph on a 40 mph street. That was all I knew. When I made it to junior high, the questions from friends and teachers started to bother me. Why is your mom so young?Is that your grandpa? Nobody seemed to understand that I was a product of the Vietnam War and I couldnt expect them to understand the circumstances of my parents union. My mother was one of the 220,000 war brides who came to the United States after the war when Vietnam ended. My dad, an Army veteran, brought home a half-Chinese, half- Vietnamese wife and started a family of four children born between 1975 and 1985. Mama was 33 when she gave birth to me; Daddy was 59. By age 14, I was becoming more insecure with my fathers age. I made him drop me off in the back of the junior high so I could avoid any other potential questions about him from friends. I made him pick me up at the grocery store across the street. Daddy fgured this was a good way to avoid the traffc jams in front of school; I fgured differently. For a while, this seemed to be a good tactic to avoid intimate questions about my dads age. Then, one day in junior high, my best friend posed a burning question:Whats going to happen when you graduate? Jessicas brown eyes locked with mine. I knew exactly what she meant. What if my dad didnt live to see me graduate from high school? It wasnt a completely unreal question. My dad was 73 and a two- pack-a-day, non-fltered Pall Mall smoker for more than 60 years. He had a hacking cough and would choke for oxygen at times. I broke down. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I feared that my father would not be at the stadium the night I would walk across the stage, donned in a baby blue cap and gown. It would be the night I lived for, because of the way my dad pushed me to excel in school. I didnt want all those years of hard work and discipline to go unseen by the man for whom I had tried to make myself perfect. My father had certain expectations of me. Though my three brothers were active in sports when they were in school, I was the one who wasnt allowed to participate in anything my father deemed distracting to a girls education. This ruled out choir, cheerleading and track. At that point in life, my relationship with my father became bitter and strained. I couldnt understand why I wasnt allowed to do these things. No matter how many times I would bring home straight As or how many complimentary notes my teachers would send home to my parents, nothing was good enough to make my dad loosen his grip on my education. I resented my father for treating me differently, yet I longed for his approval. In high school, I didnt have to work as hard to hide my father. I got my own car my sophomore year and was freed from Daddys snail-paced driving. I was so involved in the school newspaper that I dismissed the fact that my fathers control over my extracurricular activities was what led to my interest in journalism. I knew my dad was proud of me for being a leader, though he never dared to compliment my efforts. As high school came to an end, I pretended not to care that Daddy wasnt at the basketball court to see me crowned homecoming queen, or that he wasnt really involved in my prom. Those kinds of things, according to Daddy, werent as important as me being an honor student and going to a good college. I tried not to let it bother me; I fgured if I traded off those milestones for the last hurrah of graduation night, things would be on my side. I began my countdown to graduation. Daddy, 76 going on 77, was in for the home stretch. My brothers would chauffeur him to the event that four years earlier I had cried my eyes out thinking he wouldnt be alive to attend. The wood-paneled station wagon would stay home that evening. Graduation would be the night that made everything that was wrong with our relationship right. From the feld, I scanned the bleachers to spot my family. My eyes quickly focused in on my father, hunched over in his seat reading the graduation pamphlet. I laughed to myself knowing that he was probably cursing the sticky Arkansas heat as he compared the other kids scholarships and college decisions to his own daughters achievements and school choice. After hours of waiting for the last section of the alphabet to rise for their diplomas, I felt tears form in my eyes once again. We made it! one friend said to me as we walked slowly to the platform that we would soon walk across.He made it, is all I could think as I walked across the stage. After accepting my diploma, I shot a glance up at my father. He was gazing proudly down on his last child and only daughter as she graduated from high school. My bitterness for him subsided, if only for the night. I think back and commend my fathers strength and will to stick it out with me, both mentally and physically, through high school. He quit smoking when I was a sophomore, when he began to feel himself slowing down. He put up with my rebellious attitude and overactive mouth when I was still fguring out who I was. We both took care of ourselves and matured gracefully enough to make it to graduation. I cant help but worry Daddy wont be there to watch me walk down the hill in May 2008. Every time I miss a call from home and Mom leaves a desperate voicemail to call her back, I prepare myself for the worst news. Ive learned, though, not to dwell on something I cant control. Even though he may not be there to walk me down the aisle or see me become a mother, those were never the life priorities he instilled in me. He only cared that I would be able to take care of myself, for he knew that one day he would no longer be there to watch me with every milestone I passed in my life. Hiding daddy 04.26.2007 JAYPLAY 19 i tried to block the person i needed most by Kim Wallace speaK PHoToS CoUrTESy oF kIMWAllACE Kim Wallaces high school graduation announcement from Spring 2004. Kim Wallace poses with her parents, Kiu Loc and Daniel Wallace, after high school graduation ceremonies. WHen people joKed about tHeir parents remembering WHen ice cream and candy cost a nicKel, i never tHougHt tWice about tHe fact tHat my dad really did remember WHen tHey cost a nicKel. 09