Jayplay

ApocAlypse
now
The end of days
page 8
MAster yogA
working in The hoT hoT heaT
page 6
turducken And
stuff(ing)
a buffeT of Thanksgiving
knowledge and facTs
page 13
november 15, 2007
ALSO INSIDE | hOw jAypLAy wrItEr NAthAN gILL cAmE tO ApprEcIAtE thE tAStE Of rOADSIDE frIENDShIpS 15
02

JAYPLAY 11.15.2007 VOLUME 5, ISSUE 13
ABLE
t
JAYPLAYERS
Some say the worldwill end
infre,
Some say inice.
Fromwhat Ive tastedof
desire
I holdwiththose whofavor
fre.
But if it hadtoperishtwice,
I think I knowenoughof
hate
Tosay that for destruction
ice
Is alsogreat
Andwouldsuffce.
Fire and Ice by Robert
Frost is one of my favorite
poems of all time. It is also
a perfect example of how
talk of the apocalypse isnt
new. Pop culture is rife with
humanitys doom, and this
idea can be found in some
unlikely places. Even Dogma,
a movie about renegade
angels trying to get back
into heaven, references our
untimely end (By the way,
if this allusion loses you, go
watch this movie right now).
Personally, I dont lie awake
at night worrying about the
end of the world; I just hope
it isnt any time soon.
Read Patrick Griffths
story about various
doomsday theories on pg.
8 and decide which view (if
any) suits you. Also be sure
to read Nathan Gills potluck
of Thanksgiving facts
and tips on pg. 13. Happy
Thanksgiving (break)!

Dani Hurst, associate editor

On the cover:
Graphic / Brenna Hawley
thE hEAt is on
health 06
F ontEnts
do you know thE tAco mAn?
speak 15
dAncE LikE A mAn
people 10
thE End oF thE worLd
feature 08
How do you want to kick it?
Discovering some relationships dont need upkeep
Thats Mister Twinkletoes to you
Its gettin hot in herre, so pull out your yoga mat
EDITOR

TuR
Jaime Netzer
ASSOCIATE EDITOR

DuCk
Dani Hurst
DESIGNERS

EN
Brenna Hawley
Bryan Marvin
ART DIRECTOR

PuDDIN POP
Becka Cremer
PHOTOGRAPHERS

MACGYVER STuFF
Anna Faltermeier
ARTISTS

IN A PINCH
Catherine Coquillette
Leah Holescher
HEALTH

GOOD FOR YOu

Jared Duncan
Megan Hirt
Chris Horn
PEOPLE

kNOW EVERYONE
Nick Finnegan
Alaide Vilchis Ibarra
SCENE

HIT THE TOWN

Adrienne Bommarito
Seongbae Cheon
kyle Gray
NOTICE

TAkE NOTE OF IT
Nathan Gill
Ashley Thompson
CONTACT

HELP YOuR LOVE LIFE

Patrick Griffth
Daniel Reyes
CLERk

GETS AROuND TOWN

Michael Peterson
CREATIVE CONSuLTANT

kNOWS A LOT
Carol Holstead
WRITE TO uS
jayplay07@gmail.com
JAYPLAY
The university Daily kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, kS 66045
note.
06
13 08
15
Come Drink at the
DOG
Beaumont Club
4050 Pennsylvania St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 561-2560
Bottleneck
737 New Hampshire St.
Lawrence
(785) 841-5483
Gaslight Tavern
317 N. Second St.
Lawrence
(785) 856-4330
Grand Emporium
3832 Main St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 531-1504
The Hurricane
4048 Broadway,
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-0884
Jackpot Music Hall
943 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 843-2846
Mojos
1013 Park Ave.
Columbia, Mo.
(573) 875-0588
Replay Lounge
946 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 749-7676
VooDoo Lounge at
Harrahs Casino
1 Riverboat Drive
Kansas City, Mo.
Tea Time. Lobby, Kansas Union,
3 p.m., FREE, www.suaevents.
com.
Modest Mouse/Man Man/Love
as Laughter. The Blue Note, 7
p.m., all ages, SOLD OUT, www.
modestmouse.com.
University Dance Company
Fall Concert. Lied Center, 7:30
p.m., all ages, $7-$10, www.lied.
ku.edu.
Afroman. Granada. 8 p.m., all
ages, $10, www.myspace.com/
afromanmusic.
Peter Buffett. Grand Emporium,
8 p.m., 18+, $20, www.
peterbuffett.com.
The Feds/Carmine Red/
The Diamond Heart Club.
Hurricane, 8 p.m., www.myspace.
com/thefeds.

Liars of Local Interest/Outlaw
Jake and The Chain Gang.
Auntie Maes Parlor, 10 p.m.,
21+, $3, www.myspace.com/
liarsofocalinterest.
Shady Lane String Band.
Gaslight Tavern. 10 p.m.,
21+, $3, www.myspace.com/
shadylanestringband.
Joseph Israel/Jah Roots.
Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+,
$10, www.myspace.com/
josephisrael.
Eric Bachman. Record Bar,
10 p.m., 18+, $10, www.
ericbachmann.com.
11.15.2007 JAYPLAY 03
C
a l e n d a
r
Liturgical Art Forms by
Wayne Forte. Signs of Life
Gallery, all day, all ages, FREE,
www.signsofifegallery.com.
Eponine. The Studio,
Hashinger Hall, 7 p.m.,
FREE, www.myspace.com/
eponineband.
Pizza and a Comedian: Arvin
Mitchell. Ballroom, Kansas
Union, 7 p.m. FREE, www.
suaevents.com.
Lawrence Arms. Bottleneck, 8
p.m, all ages, $9, www.myspace.
com/thelawrencearms.
Sammy Hagar. Uptown
Theater, 8 p.m., all ages, $45,
www.redrocker.com.

Shamans Harvest. The Blue
Note, 8:30 p.m., all ages, $10,
www.shamansharvest.com.

Vanessa Rubin Quartet. Blue
Room, 8:30 p.m., all ages, $20.

Michelle Malone. Uncle Bos
Bar, 8:30 p.m., 21+, $10, www.
michellemalone.com.
Sidewise/Adakain. PJs Pub, 9
p.m., 21+, $3$5, www.myspace.
com.
Pomeroy. Boobie Trap Bar, 9
p.m., all ages, $7, www.myspace.
com/pomeroy.
Robbers on High Street/Great
Northern/The Song of Great
Dane. Jackpot. 10 p.m., 18+, $7,
www.robbersonhighstreet.com.
Fresh Produce Art
Collective. The Bourgeois Pig,
all day, all ages, FREE, www.
myspace.com/bourgeoispig.
48-hour film festival.
Alderson Auditorium, Kansas
Union, 7 p.m., FREE, www.
suaevents.com.
Adult Swim concert.
Ballroom, Kansas Union, 7 p.m.
FREE, www.suaevents.com.

Clay Cumbie. The Blue Note,
7 p.m., all ages, $10, www.
myspace.com/claycumbie.
Chris Cornell. Uptown
Theater, 8 p.m., all ages, $36,
www.chriscornell.com.

Mark and the Sharks. Uncle
Bos Bar, 8:30 p.m., 21+, $5,
www.markandthesharks.com.
Robin Thicke. Beaumont Club,
8:30 p.m., all ages, $30, www.
robinthicke.com.

JJ Grey and Mofro.
Bottleneck. 9 p.m., $16, 18+,
www.myspace.com/mofroband.
The Ruckus/ Anchondo/
Audio Spaghetti. PJs Pub,
10 p.m., 21+, $3$5, www.
myspace.com/theruckusska.
GO! On the One. Jackpot, 10
p.m., $10, 18+.
Cosmic Bowling. Jaybowl,
Kansas Union, 10 p.m., FREE,
www.suaevents.com.
2007 National Juried Ceramics
Exhibition and Symposium.
Lawrence Arts Center, all
day, all ages, FREE, www.
lawrenceartscenter.com.
New Works by Zak Barnes.
Pachamamas, all day, all ages,
FREE, www.pachamamas.com.
Circa Survive/Ours/The Dead
Hunter/Fear Before March
of Flames. Granada. 7 p.m.,
$13$15, all ages, www.myspace.
com/circahq.
Of Montreal. Liberty Hall, 8 p.m.,
all ages, $15, www.myspace.com/
ofmontreal.
Ghostwriter/Deadman Flats.
Replay, 10 p.m., 21+, www.
myspace.com/deadmanfats.
Sudan: The Land and the
People. Mulvane Art Museum of
Washburn University, all day, all
ages, FREE, www.washburn.edu/
reference/mulvane.
Anton Mink. Gaslight Tavern, 9
p.m., 18+, $5, www.myspace.com/
antonmink.
The Annuals. Bottleneck, 9 p.m.,
all ages, $9, www.myspace.com/
annuals.
Old Canes/Drakkar Sauna.
Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $5-
$7, www.myspace.com/oldcanes.
Witchcraft/Radio Moscow.
Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m.,
18+, www.myspace.com/
witchcraftswe.
Spitalfeld. Bottleneck, 7:30 p.m.,
$9, www.myspace.com/spitalfeld.
As I Lay Dying. Beaumont Club,
7:30 p.m., all ages, $16, www.
asilaydying.com.

John Butler Trio. Voodoo
Lounge at Harraths Casino,
8 p.m., 21+, $17$25, www.
johnbutlertrio.com.
The Hecklers/Variable Speed
Control. PJs Pub, 10 p.m., 21+,
$3$5, www.myspace.com/
thehecklersband.
THURSDAY
november 15
MONDAY
november 19
november 20
SUNDAY
november 18
SATURDAY
november 17
FRIDAY
november 16
WEDNESDAY
november 21
VENUES
where?
Ben Ahlvers Ceramics
Exhibition. Lawrence Arts
Center, all day, all ages, FREE,
www.lawrenceartscenter.com.
Psalm One. The Record Bar, 9
p.m., 18+, $12, www.myspace.
com/psalmone.

Highwater Marksmen/Dusty
Rhodes and the River Band.
Gaslight Tavern. 10 p.m.,
21+, www.myspace.com/
highwatermarksmen.
TUESDAY
C' |o-c|c
(7c') 7--7C
0pen 9 am - 2 am ally
I 1ahle
(unllmlte all)
.c coc| cuc |o||- cc cu
A stAffer for
presidentiAl
cAndidAte
HillAry clinton
Admits to plAnting
questions during A
town HAll meeting in
iowA.
Guiliani expressed regret for supporting Kerik in
the past, and promised that if hes elected
president, any future nominees for federal
positions will most assuredly not get caught.
former nyc police cHief And
rudy guiliAni protg BernArd
KeriK pleAds not guilty to mul-
tiple felony corruption cHArges.
BritisH scientists
successfully
creAte cloned
emBryos from
Adult monKeys, rAising
tHe prospect of tHe
sAme procedure Being
used to mAKe cloned
HumAn emBryos.
Thank God, because I dont want
to live in a country where merely supporting the use of
torture to elicit information eliminates a man from running
our Justice Department.
Ku footBAll
defeAts
oKlAHomA
stAte, moving to 10-0 for
tHe first time since 1899.
According to
reseArchers,
21% of
AmericAns smoke
cigArettes, A
percentAge thAt
hAs remAined the
sAme since 2004.
A new study
sHows tHAt 1 out
of 4 Homeless
people in tHe u.s.
Are wAr veterAns.
To celebrate, I partied like it was
1899, sitting at home alone,
drinking cheap whiskey and
complaining about President
McKinleywhich in all honesty,
is how I spend most Saturday
nights anyway.
Chris Raine
cHinA-mAde toys seized in Hong Kong Are
tested After scientists in AustrAliA find
tHAt similAr toys contAin cHemicAls used in
dAte-rApe drugs.
Great, now how are parents supposed to get their kids to fall
asleep?
A study sHows tHAt more tHAn
one tHird of populAr country
songs contAin references to
drugs or AlcoHol, compAred
to just 14% of populAr rocK songs.
This makes perfect sense, considering extreme
intoxication is the only way to enjoy most
country music.
If theres one thing I learned from
the new Star Wars trilogy, its
that George Lucas is an overpaid
douche lord that shouldnt be
allowed to make movies. The
second thing I learned is that cloning people is bad.
Congress is prepared to pass a bill that would ban smoking in all federal
buildings and would inCrease taxes on Cigarettes by 61 Cents a paCk.
The increased tax revenue will go towards building an air-conditioned smoking patio in
the back of the U.S. Capitol Building.
Coincidentally, the percentage
of Americans who are cool has
remained steady at approximately
one ffth of the population.
Typical of the biased liberal media,
this study fails to mention that
nearly 75% of homeless Americans
were never even part of the U.S.
military.
retired federal
judge miChael mu-
kasey is sworn in
as the nations 81
st

attorney general after
narrowly winning senate
Confirmation despite his
Controversial views on
torture.
notice
JAYpLAY

11.15.07 04
tHinK you HAve A Better joKe? e-mAil me At hawktopics@kansan.com.
RAINE REVIEWS
NEWS YOU
CAN USE
HAwK topics
What made this incident even
more embarrassing is that the
planted questions all concerned
Clintons striking new Donna
Karan pantsuit, now on sale for
$269.99!
701 Massachusetts Street 749-1005 www.eldrigehotel.com
$1.95 Appetizers
MondayFriday 46 PM
THURSDAY
H
a
p
p
y

H
o
u
r

@

t
h
e

J
a
y
h
a
w
k
e
r
2 FOR 1
MARTINIS &
2 FOR 1
DOMESTIC
BOTTLES
Before snowfakes
sprinkle down from
the sky, the cold
air outside could
cause white fakes
of another sort to grace
your shoulders. But
fakes falling from an itchy
scalp arent necessarily
dandruff.Dandruff is wet
and sticks in your hair,
says Danielle True, assistant
manager at Great Clips, 1530
W. Sixth St. If running your
fngers through your hair
causes fakes to fall out,
thats dry scalp. True
adds that people who
have dandruff will notice
fakes year-round, while people
with dry scalp will usually have them only during
colder months when falling temps and fred-up furnaces dry
up the skin. Treating dry scalp with dandruff shampoo, which
is medicated to zap wetness from your head, will actually make
the problem worse, True says. Instead, she recommends using
salon-brand moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, which can
begin to soothe your parched scalp within a few weeks. Other tips for foiling fakes: Before washing
your hair, use a soft-bristled brush to break up existing dry scalp so it washes away easier, and leave
your conditioner in for fve to 10 minutes to maximize the moisturizing. Scrubbing your tresses less
often will help to keep their natural oils intact, and investing in a humidifer will keep the air in your
home infused with the moisture your hair craves until warm weather arrives again.
Megan Hirt
cold-air hair care
health tip
health
11.15.2007

JAYPLAY 05
THE BEST PLACE TO CATCH THE GAME
THE BEST PLACE TO CATCH THE GAME
The Tradition Continues...
530 Wisconsin 785-856-8188
530 Wisconsin 785-856-8188
The Tradition Continues...
heat
Sitting on my towel and mat, I face myself
in the mirror as I stretch my arms and legs
forward. My face is fushed, my breathing is
heavy, and a drop of sweat falls to the foor.
The session hasnt even started yet.
Its my frst time attending a Bikram Yoga
class and my body hasnt quite adjusted to
the atmosphere. Bikram is like other forms
of yoga in that it involves stretching and
meditation, but the catch is that its done in
a room heated to 105 degrees Fahrenheit.
It may seem intriguing or even downright
strange, but owner and instructor Elizabeth
Marshall thinks Kansans can take the
temperature.
A lot of people are afraid of the heat,
she says. But I like to remind them that
summers here are at least 105 degrees
with a 90 degree humidity.
Bikram Yoga was started in 1963 by a
man named Bikram Choudhury in Calcutta.
Besides the heat, his form of yoga involves
26 different postures and two breathing
exercises. He began opening practices
around the world, including Los Angeles,
where the world headquarters is now
located. From there, Choudhury began
teaching students the methods of Bikram
Yoga and awarding degrees so they might
spread the knowledge across America. This
included Marshall, who in 2002 opened the
frst Bikram-certifed studio in Kansas. And
while Kansans may be accustomed to the
heat, they might ask why its necessary.
Heat softens up tissues of the body
to prevent injuries, Marshall says. It also
loosens up or melts all the fuids in the
body to improve circulation.
Opening the door to the practice room
is almost like opening an oven, only instead
of being brushed in the face with heat,
your entire body is immersed in it. But, a
quarter of the way through my session,
the heat is not nearly as oppresive as the
stretches our leader, Brenda Kopmeyer-
Kaspar, is asking us to perform. They say
that anyone is a candidate for Bikram Yoga,
but as a man who considers four bowls of
Cocoa Puffs dinner and has never been
able to reach his toes without bending
his knees, I cant help but feel that maybe
Ive made a mistake. I can barely hold my
balance for one pose, when Kopmeyer-
Kaspar asks the group to take it to the next
level. I fgure Ill give it a try, but she can
sense my struggle.
Dont even try it, Jared, she says,
proving why shes a great practice leader.
We continue on with various poses, many
requiring us to grab and hold our legs or
arms. Because of the sweat, my grip slips
several times. Giving a quick glance, Im
relieved to see that Im not the only one
who has to regain my balance and grasp.
Kopmeyer-Kaspar notices my wandering
eyes and urges the group to look ahead
in the mirror. Following her instructions, I
become unsettled. My hair is a humid mess.
My face has become a color wheel of white,
red and purple. I feel dizzy, but push myself
to try the next pose. Once again, Kopmeyer-
Kaspar can sense my desperation and saves
me at the last minute.
If youre struggling, take a break, she
says. There are no Supermen in here.
Feeling faint, I take a break for many of
the remaining sets. My head is spinning
and most of my joints are aching. The
group does the last set and Kopmeyer-
Kaspar dims the lights and asks us to relax
and imagine ourselves on a beach. She
ends the 90-minute session with Namaste,
which is Sanskrit for the goodness in me
honors the goodness in you.
Once I step out into the cool night air,
the pain and stress I put my body through
for the last hour and a half seems to
disappear. I feel almost rejuvenated and
maybe even ready to go back. My mind
goes back to the stories that the staff told
me about people who have seemingly
been healed by Bikram Yoga, like the
woman whose osteoporosis disappeared
after two years of practicing, or the student
who had been on Prozac for years and was
able to quit after consistent practice. Patty
Quinlan, supervisor of nursing at Watkins
Memorial Health Center, agrees that yoga
does indeed improve health.
What were used to in western exercise
is working on six sets of muscles, she says.
We can look good, and we can feel good,
but we might be missing parts of our body.
The stretches can give a release in different
areas.
As for quitting the Prozac, Quinlan says
that the yoga stretches can increase space
for the lungs to breathe and the heart to
pump, getting people oxygenated and
thereby increasing attitude and mood.
I see another member of the group,
Amy Brandt, outside who asks me if my
frst session was fun. My face falls and she
quickly corrects her question: Well, a sick
sort of fun, right? Brandt says that shes
only been practicing for one month, but
already had lost weight, had more energy
and felt less anxiety.
Marshall agrees that it may be a little
tough at frst, but once people start feeling
the effects of Bikram Yoga, they will get
addicted.
Everybody gets over the heat and the
strain, she says. We cant wait to get in
that room.
is on
An alternative form of
yoga in Lawrence puts
pressure not only on
the body, but on the
thermostat.
by Jared Duncan
the
PHOTOS BY KATHErINE LOECK
Jayplay writer Jared Duncan, white t-shirt, does his best to maintain balance in the Bikram eagle pose.
Participants in Bikram Yoga classes are encouraged to wear lightweight
clothing and to stay hydrated.
health
JaYPLaY

11.15.2007 06
Getting heated: What you
need to start your Bikram
Yoga session
Light and ftted clothing Shorts,
sports bra, or swimwear is optimal.
A towel, yoga mat and bottle of
water All are available for a small
fee at the studio.
An empty stomach Eat light about
two hours before the session.
Punctuality The doors are locked
as soon as sessions begins, so be on
time.
Source: www.bikramyogalawrenceks.com
DO OR DONT? THE TRUTH ABOUT HAIR DYE
goodforyou/badforyou
Do you want to change up your look for
winter? A new hair color is an affordable
way to reinvent your image for a new season,
although skepticism abounds in regards to
the cosmetic change. According to a 2001
University of Southern California study in
the International Journal of Cancer, overuse
of permanent hair dyes increases the risk of
certain types of cancer, specifcally bladder
cancer. After the journal published the article,
some cancer experts expressed uncertainty
about the conclusiveness of the USC study. In
a 2005 study from the Journal of the American
Medical Association, researchers performed
hundreds of experiments on various cohort
groups and found no direct link between hair
dyes and increased cancer risks. Brad Hensler, co-
owner of Solution, a high-end salon in Houston
that specializes in color-treated hair, adds that
government regulations and the trendiness of the
green movement have made permanent hair dyes
safer for the body. Hensler suggests going to a
salon to color your hair.It may be more expensive,
Hensler says. But you get better results and the
salon-quality product has better ingredients than
generic, over-the-counter types.
VerdictGOOd fOr yOu.
CHRIS HORN
health
11.15.2007

JAYPLAY 07
NOV 13: 9:30 10:30 AM, Alcove C
NOV 15: 4 5 PM, Regionalist Room
NOV 26: 10 11 AM, Walnut Room
NOV 28: 1 2 PM, Walnut Room
DEC 4: 6 7 PM, Pine Room
DEC 6: 9:30 10:30 AM, Walnut Room
DEC 11: 5 6 PM, Walnut Room
DEC 12: 3:30 4:30 PM, Walnut Room
OCT 16: 11AM 12 PM, Alcove C
OCT 18: 12:30 1:30 PM, Alcove C
OCT 22: 9 10 AM, Alcove C
OCT 24: 3:30 4:30 PM, Alcove E
OCT 30: 2:30 3:30 PM, Alcove E
NOV 1: 1 2 PM, Alcove C
NOV 5: 6:30 7:30 PM, Alcove C
NOV 7: 9 10 AM, Alcove C
:<IK@=@<;
0ert|cat|oa Ia Serv|ce Leara|a
WWW.serv|ce|eorr|r.|u.e1u
cs|G|u.e1u
EFE<<;KFIJMG
Crou rehect|or sess|ors. Ore rore Wo] to
cor|ete rehect|or. lr or1er to fu|h|| t|e reu|rerert
for Cert|hcot|or, otter1 tWo sess|ors.
k|| sess|oas w||| be |a the kaasas 0a|oa.
feature
11.15.2007 JAYPLAY 09
feature
JAYPLAY 11.15.2007 08
Its a normal day; theres nothing out of the ordinary to differentiate it from yesterday or tomorrow,
until small asteroids start pelting the earth from all sides. And it gets worsemuch worse. In a matter
of days an asteroid possibly larger than the state of Texas (although the residents of Texas might
strongly disagree) could obliterate everything. Thats when the dashing Harry Stamper steps in to put
the fate of the world on his shoulders. Stamper and his crew go out to destroy the asteroid and save
the world all to the melodic and symphonic sounds of Aerosmiths I dont want to miss a thing.
People are enthralled with how the world could end.This intrigue is exemplifed by the vast number
of movies that deal with the end of the world. Michael Bays flm, Armageddon, about an asteroid
capable of destroying earth, is just one of many. According to www.Imdbpro.com, Armageddon took
in $36.1 million in its opening weekend alone, on the way to grossing about $555 million worldwide.
Zombie movies are also a popular draw with their ties to the apocalyptic idea of the walking dead.
These movies also embody the widespread fascination with the end of the world.With recent flms like
Dawn of the Dead and Resident Evil: Extinction grossing $58 and $106 million respectively worldwide.
From a killer asteroid, to the end of the Mayan calendar to the biblical apocalypse, the end of
the world has been played out on the silver screen or the small screen many a time, but what is the
possibility of something like a killer asteroid? There are dates looming in the distant and not-so-
distant future with the mysterious end of the Maya calendar in December of 2012, to an asteroid that
is projected to come eerily close, but not hit earth, in 2029.
Doomsday asteroid
In 2029 an asteroid called 2004 MN4 will come within 18,600 miles of earth. It is expected to
fy between the earth and the moon, says John S. Lewis, professor of cosmochemistry planetary
atmospheres at the University of Arizona, Tucson. The asteroid will be closer to the earth than earths
satellites. The 2004 MN4 asteroid will come close enough to us that earths gravitational pull will
strongly affect the path of the asteroid, and after that, it will be diffcult to map exactly where the
asteroid will go, he says. Lewis is the author of books such as Mining the Sky and Rain of Iron and Ice.
The exact size of the asteroid that will come close to earth in 2029 is hard to determine, but it is
estimated to be a couple of football felds in diameter based on its brightness, Lewis says.
There are about 1,200 asteroids that come close to Earth or cross Earths orbit, Lewis says. The
average asteroid lasts 30 million years, and it fies around until it runs into a planet. Approximately
every 100,000 years, a 1-kilometer sized object will hit Earth, which could be regionally disastrous. For
example, a 1-kilometer asteroid would all but eliminate the Netherlands, he says. Asteroids are quite
diverse in their make-up. They can be made of steel, clay minerals, sulfte minerals, and they have a
typical impact speed of 25-30 km per second.
In terms of the end of the world, Lewis says, it wont come from an asteroid. The planet wont be
destroyed because planets are too robust.
It takes a lot to do in a planet, Lewis says.
But there is something we can do to possibly avoid an asteroid attack in the future. An asteroids
orbit can be changed by setting off a nuclear explosion near it that could defect its path, Lewis says.
The asteroid would then recoil away from the explosion, missing Earth instead of hitting it. Further
destruction could also be avoided using rocket engines on the asteroid to divert it away from Earth,
Lewis says.
The end of the Mayan calendar
More eminent than an asteroid is the end of the Mayan calendar. The calendar ends in a little more
than fve years, on December 21, 2012.
Maya expert John Major Jenkins says that the calendar is the most important thing the Maya left
behind. He has written several books on the subject, like Maya Cosmogenesis 2012: The True Meaning
of the Maya Calendar End-Date and Galactic Alignment: The Transformation of Consciousness According
to Mayan, Egyptian, and Vedic Traditions. He says the loudest interpretation of the calendar, incorrectly
so, is that it signals doomsday. Coming to this conclusion is understandable, Jenkins says, in a nihilistic
civilization and in an era of spiritual darkness, apathy and ignorance. Authors that link 2012 with doom
are simply spreading fear-based talking points, he says.
Western nihilists see the end of the calendar as indicative of doomsday. The Maya wisdom teachers
who invented the 2012 calendar say it means transformation and renewal, Jenkins says, because of the
cyclical nature of the calendar; a cyclical nature that makes the future unpredictable. Its similar to a
newborn insisting on someone telling them what its new life will be like, Jenkins says.
He also explains the end of the Mayan calendar and its cyclical nature in terms of adjacent days.The
process of a day is cyclical; day becomes night, then the sun rises again and the day is renewed. Asking
what will happen December 22, 2012, is similar to asking what exactly will happen tomorrow, he says.
The insistence on details is not answerable, Jenkins says.
Biblical Apocalypse
The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him to shew unto his servants things which
must shortly come to pass; he sent and signifed it by his angel unto his servant John.
That is the frst line of the Book of Revelations; the fnal book in the New Testament, a book that
describes the biblical end of the world.
KU Religious studies professor Timothy Miller says the book is attributed to Saint John, and it is
thought to have been written toward the end of the frst century. The book is full of coded messages
because during the Roman Empire under Emperor Domitian Christians were terribly persecuted.
The Book of Revelation predicts great sufferings at the end of the world, he says. The true Christians
will survive the suffering and will be ready for paradise. Some predict it as the end of the world, and it
almost works as a textbook describing the end of the world, Miller says.
The book is packed wall-to-wall with symbols, images and metaphors; he says Its visual writing, so
it all has to be interpreted, Miller says.
You can make it say almost anything you want it to, he says.
The phrasethe end of the world can mean different things to different people. Some might think
its the destruction of the human race, and some may think it means the destruction of the planet
earth. Either way you differentiate the meaning of the phrase the end of the world, everybody is
interested in it.
The enD of The worLD
As we know iT
Doomsday scenarios and their
probability or idiocy
By Patrick Griffth
The Discovery Channel conducted an online poll of ways that
the world could end. The following are some of the doomsday
situations that were chosen, so take note, and start planning that
trip to Amsterdam youve always wanted to take. The percentages
are from the Discovery Channels website, the following
descriptions are not.
The war to end all wars: 18%
The title may have been used before, but this time it could live up
to the name. In the future, ultra-fast space shuttles will be dropping
nuclear bombs all around the world. The most destructive war will
take place, making the fnal battle from the fnal Star Wars look like
the snowball fght in Elf.
A doomsday asteroid: 18%
April 13, 2029. Mark your calendar. The asteroid is coming, and its
coming close. Bruce Willis will be even older than he is now, so the
world will need someone else to go into space, climb on the asteroid,
and blow the thing up. My money is on Brad and Angelinas kid; hes
the Messiah.
A monster plague: 10%
A new super-virus is spreading throughout the world. The
symptoms are that of both extreme pneumonia and unbearable
chicken pox. The only antidote that has been discovered is drinking
a mixture of formaldehyde and Robitussin while watching re-runs of
Everybody Loves Raymond, so most people are choosing death as a
more soothing option.
robots will inherit the earth: 8%
Think back to I, Robot (the movie not the book). Evil, bossy robots
take over the world starting with Chicago in the not-so-distant future,
only this timeWill Smith will not be there to save the day. Hopefully by
then the Cubs will have won a World Series.
super-intelligent killer mutants: 2%
Bee-Bop and Rocksteady,enough said.
Tyranny of the Majority
How people (and this author) think the world will end
graphic by brenna hawley
Dance like a man
people
JAYPLAY

11.15.2007 10
photo by jessica crabaugh
christopher trepinski doesnt seem
to mind the countless hours he spends
rehearsing at the robinson center in a
white room surrounded by ballet bars,
a wall covered in mirrors and a black
piano on the right. trepinski, Lawrence
junior, doesnt look bothered by hours
of training or the perpetual nitpicking of
things he needs to improve.
chris, says the teacher, a slender
man, when you are walking around
he follows by giving him a verbal
list of what he needs to change in
the performance of twyla tharps
torelli, a piece mainly composed
of improvisation from the dancers. but
even when improvising, every single
movement has to be perfect.
this is exactly why ashley benes,
trepinskis friend and classmate, says
only students like trepinski, who have
passion for the art, survive the world of
music and dance.
trepinskis love for dance began in
third grade when he followed his sisters
footsteps by taking dance classes. since
then, the hobby stopped being a way of
imitating his sister and became a tool
to reach his dreams of being a triple
threatsomeone who can sing, dance
and act, in a broadway performance.
he plans to attend grad school to study
voice and later work as a dancer on a
cruise ship to save money to move to
New york.
today, Dance has turned into
something that can get him though a
tough day.
Dance has always been a great source
of happiness for me, it has always been
a release. trepinski says. For me, its a
way to embody my emotions through
movements, letting it all out.
trepinski stands in a studio with
two men and six women waiting for
rehearsal to begin. his black hair stands
out from the rest of the dancers because
he is taller than everyone else by a head.
every dancer scattered throughout the
room begins to do a different sharp
movement. it is completely silent in the
room, all you can hear is the sound of
the dancers feet making contact with
the black, rubbery floor of the dance
studio.
the teacher walks to the stereo
right before everyone flops down to
the ground. the sound of classical
music pours from the speakers and the
dancers get up. Finally, the movements
begin making sense with the rhythm of
the music.
trepinski makes sharp, yet graceful
movements with his tall, lean body. he
bends his back with one arm above his
head, then his arms flail in a movement
that seems uncontrollable as he folds
his body in half leaving his head inches
from the ground. each movement
seems accidental, yet his toes are always
pointed, his back always straight, his
posture always perfect.
but trepinski struggled to get those
movements to look perfect. Mandy
shrwise, the president of the university
Dance company who has danced with
trepinski for three years, says one of
trepinskis biggest enemies when
dancing are his feet. she says he doesnt
have arched feet and arched feet are one
of those things that if you have them, its
great, but if you dont it is really difficult
to get them right.
in the rehearsal, however, his feet
didnt look different from the other
dancers. that is one movement trepinski
has worked hard to improve. at the end
of the day, says shrwise, what matters
about dancing is how dancers treat each
individual movement to be able to do a
performance as a whole.
Dancing is all about learning from
mistakes and becoming stronger.
trepinski has adopted that philosophy
in his life; even in junior high when other
male classmates would wait for him after
his dance performances just to make fun
of him being a male dancer.
animosity toward his interest in girly
things did not come only from his
schoolmates. although his immediate
family supported his passion, he always
noticed his external family would talk
about his cousins accomplishments in
basketball or football with pride, while
nobody ever mentioned his dance
recitals.
jerel hilding, head of the dance
department, says the stigma attached
to male dancers is one of the reasons
there are less male student dancers than
female. however, he says, the number
evens out when it comes to professional
dancing.
trepinskis response every time he
mentions how he felt about being
lumped into the stereotype that men
shouldnt dance is the same: it made me
really angry.
he says he just doesnt understand
why people waste so much effort on
hating somebody for what they love. his
response to those who didnt like what
he did was ignoring them or at least
brush off their comments.
i really tried to make myself stronger
from it and i really think i have. he says.
both benes and shwrise say trepinski
has become a more confident dancer
and person since they met him.
he is not one of those people who
gets lost in the crowd, bene says. but
maybe its because he is so tall.
Christopher Trepinski has been a dancer since third grade. Now, dancing has become a tool to reach his future.
By Alaide Vilchis Ibarra
DANCe hAs AlwAys
BeeN A greAT sourCe of
hAppINess for me. IT hAs
AlwAys BeeN A releAse.
for me, ITs A wAy To
emBoDy my emoTIoNs
Through moVemeNTs,
leTTINg IT All ouT.
-ChrIs TrepINskI
Who Would star in a movie
about your life and What
Would it be about?
What Would be your dream job?
What do you miss most from
your childhood?
if you Were in a professional
Wrestling match, Who Would
be your tag-team partner??
Where do you Want to travel?
Hung Truong
Lawrence sophomore
Kevin Fussell
Volunteer Firefghter
Daniel Reyes
Jet Li; how I grew up and how
life is different from where
I was born (Vietnam) and
where I am now.
A professional poker player.
You see them winning
millions!
That I did not get to stay in
my country long enough. I
came here when I was eight
years old.
The Rock; he can kick ass!
Japan; I want to experience
the great scenes they have
there and the different
culture they have there.
Russell Crowe. The movie
would be about my college
years here at KU, being kind
of wild and crazy and partying
and enjoying the college
atmosphere.
Firefghter; Ive been doing
it for two years and I like the
excitement of the job and the
challenge and the fast pace of
it.
Hanging out with my friends.
Wed play games together, go
to the movies and just hang
out. Now theyre all spread out
and I dont get to hang out and
see them as much.
Chuck Norris; back when I was
growing up I used to watch a
lot of his shows and watch him
beat people up.
Paris, France. I hear its nice. Its
somewhere Id eventually like
to go.
They met at a party while freestyle rapping in a
circle. Dragen says he opened with a line something
to the effect of My name is Simon Dragen and Im
from L-Tizzy. I like breakbeats and a nice pair of
titties. By the end of the rapping session, Dragen
says,We rapped so hard that our mouths went dry.
At that point a trip to the liquor store was in order.
The night ended at McCollum Hall drinking Red
Stripe and eating summer sausage. Theyre friends
now. We took that baby fame and made it a forest
fre, Cohorst says.
Patrick Griffth
hoW We met
raps-a-lot
ConTRIBuTeD PHoTo
Drew Cohorst,Topeka junior (left) and Simon
Dragen, Lawrence junior, .
contact
11.15.2007

JAYPLAY 11
Girl 1: Can women sell their eggs like men
sell their sperm? And can a man be like, I want
some eggs?
Girl 2: I wouldnt do it. Theyd have my mojo.
Guy: Its 7:15 and its already dark. That blows
balls. I hate it when that happens.
Guy 1: At least no one passed out shitting.
Guy 2: Hey, its a serious issue.
Guy 1: (sniffng coffee) This stuff is dank as
shit.
Girl 1: She was drinking beer out of a straw.
Girl 2: Who does that?
Girl 1: A drunk bitch.
Guy: I never saw a movie of two chicks
pooping and then eating it like ice cream. It
takes the cake. And is probably illegal.
Professor: There is a high probability you
will become parents. If youre lucky, it will be
because you want to be.
nathan Gill
blueberry muffins
foodreview
Bistro Bella
3514 Clinton Parkway
$1.50
There are a lot of blueberries,
and one bite emits a
strong blueberry
smell. The crust is
too thick and
hard, but
the inside
is soft,
b u t t e r y
a n d
wonderfully
moist!
HHHH

Dillons
Bakery
1015 W. 23rd St.
$2.99 for 6 muffns
These are the smallest at
about half the size of the other
muffns. They are too moist and watery, though;
you almost dont need a drink to go with these
muffns. Theyre also the stickiest ones, and
have a reasonable amount of blueberries.
HH
Perkins Restaurant and Bakery
1711 W. 23rd St.
$1.99
The best thing about this
muffn is the big sugar
crystals sprinkled on
top. They add
crispiness and
s we e t ne s s
to the crust.
The inside
of the muffn
is little bit
thick and dry, but
there are a lot of
blueberries. Its also
perfectly sweet.
HHHHH
Hy-Vee Bakery
3504 Clinton Parkway
$0.60
This muffn has the least amount of blueberries
in it. It is relatively big, and is so soft that it
almost feels like it doesnt have any crust on
top. But its a little too sweet compared to the
other muffns.
HHH
TOMORROWS NEWS
WWW.ROTTENNEigHBOR.cOM
If your neighbors have a
trashy lawn with four immobile
cars and a dog that wont stop
crapping in your shrubs, tell
the world about it on www.
rottenneighbor.com.
The Web site lets you warn
others about bad neighbors
or give props to good ones.
Its free and easy to use.
Simply register with a name
and password, then use the
sites global map to mark a
neighbors house as rotten
or rad.Then write about your
neighbors using the sites blog function.
User NeedaVacay recently posted the following:
Put two divorcees together with a combined fve kids in a three-bedroom townhouse and you
have yourself one **** uva crazy family to deal with. Loud, annoying, obnoxious. Like living next to
the Manson family. Weve lived here for two years and have their daily arguments down to a science.
Starting at 11 p.m. every single night and not ending sometimes until the wee hours of the morning.
Cops dont even show up anymore. Ugh...
But thats not all. In addition to being a forum for faming or saluting your neighbors, the site offers
tips for mediation, and creator Brant Walker says he hopes to give users the ability to send postcards-
of-concern to users in the future.
If their dog is pooping on their yard, this can be the frst step toward mediation,Walker says.We
want people to be able to resolve their problems.
Walker, who says the site can be used as a real estate tool for agents looking to sell houses, created
the site after dealing with his own rotten neighbors. He says his neighbors cooked food that smelled
horrible and the smell wafted into his home through open windows.
They have some really bad food cooking going on, he says.
The site, which has had more than 1 million visitors, lists two rotten houses in Lawrence.
Nathan Gill
pot luck
JAYPLAY

11.15.2007 12
Holiday tunes already fll the airwaves and shopping centers all around
are twinkling in decorative anticipation for your dollars. It would seem that
Thanksgiving is but a speed bump to more consumerist celebrations.
But hark, dear readers! If this most American of holidays has got you
snoozing (blame the turkey) read on for a delicious treat (layers of meat!).
Jayplay knows what goes into a great Turkey Day (bourbon and brandy) and
how to best share it with the family (give less stress than you receive.) And if
dinnertime conversation turns foul, weve supplied you with a history lesson
to share as an educational treat. Because, whatever the season, knowledge is
the best gift of all.
1. Eat turducken
Turducken: a traditional Cajun meat-gasm that unites turkey, duck and
chicken into one delicious foul. The three-in-one bird is migrating from its
southern Louisiana roots and could someday replace the traditional uni-
meat turkey dinner on a Thanksgiving table near you. Carnivores of the
world, give thanks!
The aptly named turducken is breaking out of regional confnement with
the help of businesses like Heberts Specialty Meats. Heberts, pronounced
A-bears,is a purveyor of Cajun meat products that sells a variety of stuffed
animals (including rabbit, crab and quail) from stores in Louisiana, Texas and
Oklahoma.
Kim Dunlap, who manages the butcher-chains restaurant and shipping
center in Tulsa, Okla., says the business was the frst to commercialize
turducken and sells thousands of the birds each year.
It tastes like a turkey, a duck and a chicken,she says, adding that it drips
with moisture.
Making a turducken is a labor of layering. A turkey, duck and chicken are
de-boned, spread open and layered one on top of the other.Various stuffngs
and seasonings are sandwiched between the meat layers and any meatless
nooks and crannies. Then the turkey layer, bursting with fesh and favor, is
sewn together at the skin to form a delicious frankenpoultry.
It looks like a big ol fat turkey,Dunlap says.Except it has no cavity.
If youd like to learn how to stuff and assemble your own turducken,
visit www.fabulousfoods.com/features/turducken/stuffng_turducken.html.
Otherwise, buy your own from Heberts at www.hebertsmeats.com.
2. History moment
In the autumn of 1621, a village of half-dead, super-prudish Puritans dined
with some nearby Native Americans. We know the gist of the story as given
by kindergarten actors across the nation, but what really happened at the
frst Thanksgiving?
Peggy Baker, director and historian at Pilgrim Hall Museum, works in
Plymouth, Mass., the town where the famous feast occurred. Baker gave a
quick lesson on the historic event, beginning with the fact that the frst
Thanksgiving was not a thanksgiving at all.
A day of thanksgiving would have been purely religious, she says. The
celebration in question was more of a harvest celebration.
Thats not to say that the pilgrims didnt have anything to be thankful
for. They were alive. Well, 53 of them were. Of the 102 original pilgrims who
arrived fresh off the Mayfower from England, exactly half of them died
during the frst New England winter. Their number then benefted from a
later addition of two pilgrim babies, Baker says.
So, happy to be alive and having reaped their frst American harvest, the
pilgrims had a party. Baker says it lasted about a week, and that about 90
dudes from the nearby Wampanoag tribe were in attendance. No one knows
why they were there. Baker says they might have been invited. Perhaps they
were there for turducken.
Thats a technique that was used in seventeenth-century England,
stuffng things into other things,Baker says.
Baker says the food at the frst Thanksgiving was different from what is
traditionally served today.Though historians do not have an exact menu,they
probably had foods including geese, ducks, turkey, pigeon, partridge, cod,
bass, cornmeal, nuts, and maybe pies.What is known is that the Wampanoag
brought fve deer. The pilgrims did not have sugar, so cranberry sauce was
impossible to make, and pumpkins, if eaten, were likely spiced and stewed
instead of baked.
Though the frst Thanksgiving was very different from those we host
today, Baker says there is at least one similarity among them.
The real story, which is of these two very different cultures coming
togetherthats absolutely there.
3. The joy of family: a cornucopia of loathing
The families of seasonal Thanksgiving commercials,set down to the perfect
meal, smiling and laughing in simple, iconic 1950s glee, are as authentic as a
turkey made with Spam.
In real life, the stuffng is bland, your parents hate your girlfriend, Uncle Joe
just came out of the closet, Mom lost her job and the snarl on Grandpas face
can only mean that hes thanking God that Grandma isnt alive to see how
much of a disappointment the family is.
The holidays, family forced together with expectations of perfection, can
be stressful, says psychologist Harriet Lerner, author of bestseller The Dance
of Anger and an expert on diffcult relationships.
Its a perfectly legitimate goal just to survive and not do your usual thing,
she says about traditional familial quarreling.
But there are some things you can do to make the holidays more enjoyable.
Lerner suggests anticipating what arguments might arise and having a plan
to stay calm and constructively deal with diffculties.She says its important to
be non-reactive when people push your buttons and to not be an instigator
of anxiety toward others. Also, you shouldnt choose your turkey dinner to air
grievances or drop the unexpected life-altering bombshell.
One thing to avoid is any kind of agenda, Lerner says. Its just not the
time.
So, prep for stress, pass on less anxiety than you receive and keep your
lips zipped about that fresh credit card debt youve accrued. Enjoy your time
together and save headache-mongering for a less savory occasion.
notice
11.15.2007

JAYPLAY 13
You burned the turducken, lost a fght with
the family and failed your history class
Thanksgiving quiz. Find solace in the bottom of
a highball glass or your favorite mug with this
cornucopia of seasonal alcoholic comforts.
Wild Apple Turkey
2 parts apple cider
1 part Wild Turkey bourbon
Mix and drink. Or, leave it in the
freezer overnight to create a slushy!
Absolutely Cranberry
Smash
3 cubes ice
2 oz. vodka
4 oz. cranberry juice
2 oz. ginger ale
Stir ingredients together.
Serve over ice.
Apple Cider Slider
1 splash 7-Up
oz. apple schnapps
oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 oz. spiced rum
Pour over ice. Shake and strain
into shooter glass.
Brandy Eggnog
1 oz. brandy 3 oz. milk
1 egg yolk 1 oz. nutmeg
oz. cream oz. tawny port
oz. sugar syrup
Shake well over ice in a shaker. Strain
into a large highball glass over ice cubes,
sprinkle with nutmeg and serve.
Thanksgiving Special
oz. apricot brandy
1 cherry
oz. gin
tsp. lemon juice
oz. dry vermouth
Shake all ingredients (except cherry)
with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.
Top with the cherry and serve.
Yes, says Marianne Middleton, clinical coordinator of Lawrence
Memorial Hospitals Sleep Disorders Center. A naturally occurring
chemical in turkey, the amino acid L-tryptophan, is the culprit.
The body uses L-tryptophan to produce the B-vitamin niacin, which
is used in turn to produce serotonin. Middleton says serotonin is a
natural sedative that helps regulate sleep. So, eating turkey causes the
body to produce more serotonin, which can make you drowsy.
In fact, [L-tryptophan] had been used until 1990 as a popular
sleeping aid, she says.
L-tryptophan also is found in other foods, including chicken, pork,
cheese, beef, soybeans, peanuts and brown rice. But eating these foods
isnt the only cause of food-coma. Middleton says overeating, eating
high-fat foods and drinking alcohol are also common harbingers of Mr.
Sandman.
Turkey day review
all you need to this Thanksgiving
By Nathan Gill
CONTrIBUTED PHOTO
Does Turkey make you sleep?
lions for lambs
reviews
JaYPlaY

11.15.2007 14
The title, Lions for Lambs,
refers to the idea that the
War on Terror is being fought
by lions on the front lines,
but is led by lambs who sit
on Capitol Hill without a
sliver of combat experience.
The metaphor also works
to describe the flm itself. It
has a cast of lionsMeryl
Streep, Robert Redford, Tom
Cruisebut the writer and
director (who happens to
be Redford) make up a small
fock of lambs, as evidenced
by the flms ambitious objectives and the Happy Madison movie length that it tries to complete
them in. Ironically, the flm resembles the fawed mindset of the war that it is attempting to criticize.
Just as the military believed they could overtake Baghdad in six weeks, the flmmakers believed
that they could neatly compartmentalize post-9/11 American hypocrisy into a 90-minute box.
The movie interweaves three concurrent events. In the nations capitol, Senator Irving (Cruise),
a young neo-conservative who wants to get the publics mind off the failures of the War on Terror,
is pitching a brand spankin new strategy to reporter Janine Roth (Streep), that, according to him,
is sure to get the W for America. Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, Irvings plan of action is failing. After
an army aircraft takes severe enemy fre, two troops are forced to parachute into the wintry depths
below and face the waiting Taliban. The two soldiers were students of Dr. Stephen Malley (Redford),
a political science professor who is trying to engage disenchanted students.
Admittedly, the movie raises pertinent questions in some engaging dialogue. But when you get
right down to it, Lions for Lambs is a movie built on ideas, not people. And without our own kin at
the core, theres little opportunity for Redford to create the type of emotion we look for in dramas,
the kind that continues to bite at us days after seeing it.
HHH
Ian Stanford Check out our new web site
www.obe[okes.com
84I5855
Do You Know the Taco Man?
I didnt spend my last night in Mexico with my
host family. I didnt spend it out partying with
friends. I spent it with an unlikely acquaintance, a
roadside vender: the taco man.
It was dark, past midnight, and the air smelled of
cool mountain rain. The taco man and I had talked
for hours, drinking cinnamon tea he brewed over
the remains of mesquite coals used to sear the
meat for his small tortilla treats. We fnished our
tea, and began to clear plastic furniture, a folding
table holding condiments, his small grill I knew
the drill. Wed done this before.
We stored his equipment in a trailer parked
behind his street stand; a small, open tent parked
alongside the citys main drag. We stored leftover
guacamole, onions, peppers, salsas, meats and
tortillas in his cluttered, compact car. Some of
it went to his sisters house a block away; we
unlocked the gate to her property quietly, feeding
food scraps to the dogs so they would chew rather
than bark. It was late, past 2 a.m., and we didnt
want to wake her up.
After our task was donechores the taco man
did most every night alonehe drove me home.
We hugged, said goodbyehe criedand
I promised Id write. I left for Kansas the next
morning.
Manuel Garcia, the taco man, was and is my
friend. A 40-something father, husband and part-
time bus salesman, Manuel spoke some English
and claimed to have attended law school. He
seemed educated, and I didnt doubt him.
I met Manuel in a Lawrence-sized town, Cholula,
during a six-week summer study abroad program
in 2006. Every day Id walk the 30 minutes from
my host familys home to the small university I
attended. If I walked back home an hour or two
before dusk, as I often did, Id usually run into
Manuel cooking under his tent.
Our interchanges, sometimes during a brief,
polite passing, sometimes over food, sometimes
lasting hours, were always warm. During those six
weeks he taught me about himself, Mexico, myself
and life. I cared for him in a way that reminds the
heart that no man is an island.
And yet, we were strangersa fact that only
added to the openness of our conversations. His
tent, located opposite a Baskin Robbins, had the
anonymity and security of a therapists room.
There existed a candid trust between two people
with different lives and the assurance that our
intersection would be short-lived and controlled.
I was a temporary visitor, and it was unlikely we
would meet in any place but on my passes to the
stand.
We shared our stories. Manuel had seen better
days, and had made mistakes in his life. Among
these was a woman in another town who had a
young son.Their household was not his destination
after work. Manuel, saying that he saw himself in
me, implored me not to repeat this vice, to stay
in school, to work hard and make something of
myself. He said that he never dreamed he would
be selling roadside tacos 20 years ago, and he did
not recommend it. But it was what it wasa way
to live, to send his children to a good school that
taught English. This was a priority.
Though no topic was taboo with Manuel, our
conversations were more often casual than serious.
Though his English was passable, I expanded
his repertoire of dirty words, as he
did mine. This lexicon was useful in
understanding his occasional dirty
joke, double entendre or profanity;
for example, work sucks (est
cabrn), and a bothersome person is
effectively repelled by suggesting he
fercely mate with his mother (chinga
t madre). There are as many words
for intercourse in Spanish as there are
in English. Probably more. They are
delightfully useful.
I couldnt learn these valuable lessons
in proper Spanish classes. But more than any other
lesson, Manuel was my Mexican microcosm who
broke stereotypes, but was also a victim of them.
Manuels car was, like many college students, a
mess. However, he never let any paper scraps or
other debris fall out of his car and onto the street.
He would search the ground under his tent for
trash, pick it up, and put it in a trash bag. Manuel
was not a dirty Mexican, and he was not lazy. He
told me that people who littered were pigs.
He also was not particularly fond of spicy food.
I learned this when, on one of my bolder taco-
eating days, I decided to forgo a milder salsa for
a concoction that included strips of neon orange
pepper and dark, unassuming little seeds. I ate the
taco, and my face fell off. A nest of bees stung my
mouth. All the soft tissue in my nasal cavity, throat,
mouth, and a million unseen pores and openings
were experiencing exposure to the vegetal version
of Agent Orange.
Mi boca es un fuego! was my
clearest expression to Manuel that
my mouth was afame. I immediately
purchased and downed two bottles
of fruit drink that he sold out of a
cooler, but it didnt help. My eyes
were wet and in pain, and things were
beginning to swell. I bid him a hasty
farewell. The following day he laughed
at me, told the other taco-patrons my
act of gringo-ism, and explained that
only crazy people ate the orange
peppers.
My Mexican host family did not share my
enthusiasm for Manuel. They were surprised that I
had not spent my last night getting drunk in a club,
like their past exchange students. My host brother
asked where Id been when I came home after
helping Manuel. I told him, and he told his mother
that Id been hanging out with the naco.
Naco is a pejorative word for uneducated, low-
class Mexicans who lack cultural refnement and
whose ancestors were probably more indigenous
(brown) than European. Think white trash but
with more sting and a racist twist. My host-
brothers insult was uneducated. At least one of
Manuels parents was a direct immigrant from
Spain. He had an interest and knowledge in world
events. He would give free tacos to the elderly
policeman who sometimes walked by. He was, to
my estimation, a gentleman. But, he sold tacos in
a tent on the side of the road, a career unrefned,
uncool, and decidedly naco.
When I last saw Manuel, I promised Id write. I
still have the address; Guadalajara Street, house
eleven. I can fnd the house on Google Maps. But
Ive never written, and I do not know if I will.
Relationships like mother, cousin, acquaintance
are easy to defne. They have boundaries formed
by place and time. But the relationship between
the taco man and me seems to exist best where I
left itin a tent near a road in the evenings where
the heat of coals and smell of cooking meat take
the chill away from the setting sun or the brisk,
frequent rain of the central Mexican highland.
I do wonder if he is well. If I ever went back to
Cholula, I would look for him and am sure we would
pick up right where we left off. But, it seems, a part
of travel is that it is an experience of visitation that
is inevitably left. Some things, like relationships or
a chance conversation with a person passed on a
street, live only for a time and in the place where
they occurred. Like a passing smile and nod to a
stranger, friendships can be short-lived, but no less
warm, than one with the intensity of years.
A student and street
vendor savor tacos,
conversation and a
relationship forged on
the side of the road
Nathan Gill
COnTRIBuTED PHOTOS
speak
11.15.2007

JAYPLAY 15
JACKPOT
$3 SKYY & BULLEIT
SINGLES
$3 BOULEVARD
DRAWS
$2.75 MAKERS
MARK SINGLES
$2 PBR DRAWS $2 SHINER BOCK
DRAWS
$1.50 PBR DRAWS $2 WELLS
REPLAY LOUNGE
$1 PBR CANS $3 JIM BEAN
SINGLES, $4.50
DOUBLES
$3 BARTENDERS
CHOICE IMPORT
BOTTLE
$3 BOULEVARD
DRAWS
$2 WELLS
$3.50 DOUBLES
$3 SKYY, JIM BEAM,
CAPT MORGAN
SINGLES, $4.50 DBLS
$2 WELLS
$3.50 DOUBLES
PHOGGY DOG
$3 DOM PITCHERS
$3 MALIBU
$2 SOCO LIME SHOTS
$2 DOM BOTTLES
$2 JAGERBOMBS
$3 DBL CAPTAIN
$2 DOM BOTTLES
$3 IMPORT BOTTLES
$3 32OZ BIG BEERS
$3 VODKA ENERGY
$3 JAGERBOMBS
$5 ANY PITCHERS
$3 BLOODY MARYS
$2 DOM PINTS
$2 WELLS
$3 SMIRNOFF VODKA
$2 DOMESTIC
BOTTLES
JETLAG
$4 DOMESTIC
PITCHERS
$2 DOMESTIC
BOTTLES
$2 WELLS
$2 DOMESTIC PINTS
$2 GOLDSCHLAGER
SHOTS
$2 DOMESTIC
BOTTLES
$2 JAGER BOMBS
$4 DOMESTIC
PITCHERS
$2 RUMPLEMINTZ
$4 DOUBLE VODKA
& ENERGY
$2.50 IMPORT
BOTTLES
FREE POOL
ZIG & MACS
$2 CALLS
$9.99 RIBS
$2 HOUSE SHOTS
$12.99 SEAFOOD
PLATTER
$2.50 BIG BEERS
35 WINGS
$3 MARGARITAS
CORONAS
$14 PRIME RIB
$6 60 OZ. BUD&BUD
LIGHT PITCHERS
$9.99 RIBEYE
$2 BOULEVARDS
$8 FISH & CHIPS
$2.50 BIG BEERS
35 WINGS
BAMBINOS
$4 32 OZ JUMBO
MARGARITAS
$2 BOULEVARD PINTS
$1.50 BUD LIGHT
PINTS
$4.50 MARTINIS
$2 BOULEVARD PINTS
$1.50 BUD LIGHT PINTS
$4 32 OZ JUMBO
MARGARITAS
$2 BOULEVARD PINTS
$1.50 BUD LIGHT
PINTS
$2 BOULEVARD PINTS
$1.50 BUD LIGHT
PINTS
Global Cafe Barriquito Cafe con Leche Cafe Americano Cappuccino Thai Coffee Cafe Breva Viennese Coffee
Genovese $5.25 Martinis
$8 for flight of
3 wines
25% off
ALL WINE BOTTLES
(not $20 or reserve bottles)
Sangria $3 Glasses
Wine $5 Glasses
B.Y.O.B
Bring Your
own Wine
HH Bar & Girll
$6 Any Martini
$2.50 Lemon Drop Shots
$3 Well Drinks
$4 Tequila Shots
$2 Domestic Bottles
25% off every bottle
of wine
$3 Absolut Bloody
Mary or Mimosa
25% off every bottle of wine
$2.50 Kamikazzee shot
$15 and under
Tower Special
$4 22oz Draft Beer
$3 SoCo lime shots
$4 U call it
$3 Bombs