Jayplay

life. and how to have one.

March 11th, 2010
mouthy muppets

Q&A WITH THE CO-CREATOR

OF BROADWAY MUSICAL AVENUE Q
lend a hand
the reasons and ways
men and women stray
VOUNTEERINg TO HELp OTHERS
MAY jUST HELp YOURSELF
mark of
BETRAYAL
March 11th, 2010 // volume 9, issue 24
* Cover photo illustration by Jerry Wang
TABLE OF CONTENTS
12
13
KANSAS IN HEAT
Its totally not fne
CHEATING LOVERS
Lust and loyalty in the 21st century
2
03
11
10
2
6
8
THIS WEEKEND
Catch breakfast at Macelis
OUT AND ABOUT
Supercool superpowers
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|ouch w/|h fam//y nea/ and fa/ As a s|uden|, you can |ake adtan|age
of /ns|an| sat/ngs on mon|h/y se/t/ce p/ans 7o make /| easy, we//
eten wa/te |he ac|/ta|/on fee Ge| /| on |he Now Ne|wo/k

Sate w/|h
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Sate 10%
on se/ec| /egu/a//y p//ced
mon|h/y se/t/ce p/ans
Pequ//es |wo-yea/ se/t/ce ag/eemen|
Ac|/ta|/on fee wa/ted
fo/ new ac|/ta|/ons
Jp |o $36 ta/ue
Pequ//es |wo-yea/ se/t/ce ag/eemen|
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CALENDAR
3
thursday, march 11th friday, march 12th saturday, march 13th sunday, march 14th monday, march 15th tuesday, march 16th
Theology on Tap
Henrys on Eighth, 5:30
p.m., free, all ages
losT apperiTions/
a Weekend in december
The Jackpot Music Hall,
6 p.m., $5-$7, all ages
World War i book discus-
sion and Film series: one
oF ours by Willa caTher
The Spencer Museum of
Art, 6 p.m., free, 16+
naacp laWrence branch
meeTing
The Lawrence Public
Library, 6:30 p.m., free, all
ages
The Junkyard Jazz band
The American Legion,
7 p.m., free, all ages
FaculTy reciTal series:
Vince gnoJek, saxophone
The Swarthout Recital Hall,
7:30 p.m., free, all ages
TriVia aT zig & macs
Zig & Macs, 9 p.m., $10,
all ages
lighT polluTion/ Tommy
Ferrari and The FuTure
moTor machines/canJa
raVe
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $3, 21+
mondo drag
The Eighth Street Tap
Room, 6 p.m., $3, 21+
The rinkles (kinks TribuTe)
The Replay Lounge, 6 p.m.,
$3, all ages
headshandsFeaT
The Gaslight Tavern, 7 p.m.,
21+
VicTory oVer The sun
Bailey Hall 318, 7 p.m., free,
all ages
ku symphony orchesTra
The Lied Center, 7:30 p.m.,
all ages
eVadesTrucTions music
TriVia massacre
Conroys Pub, 8 p.m., $5,
21+
dJ nick reddell
Abe & Jakes Landing,
9 p.m., 18+
disco disco WiTh dJ parle
and The reVolVer creW
dJs
Fatsos, 9 p.m., free-$3, 21+
speakeasy
The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., all
ages
percolaTor peeps shoW
Lawrence Percolator,
6 p.m., free, all ages
black dahlia murder/
obscura/ augury/
haTesphere
The Bottleneck, 7:30 p.m.,
$12, all ages
open Jam
Duffys, 9 p.m., free, 21+
kid congo poWers & The
pink monkey birds/ spook
lighTs/ The harrisonics/
Weird Wounds
The Jackpot Music Hall,
9 p.m., $8-$10, 18+
The club WiTh dJ parle
Fatsos, 10 p.m., $3, 21+
surFer blood/
Turbo FruiTs
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $3, 21+
second saTurdays WiTh dJ
candlepanTs
The Eighth Street Tap
Room, 10 p.m., $3, 21+
The band ThaT saVed The
World
The Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $5,
21+
The Woes
The Replay Lounge, 6 p.m.,
$3, 21+
smackdoWn!
The Bottleneck, 7:30 p.m.,
free-$5, 18+
Woodsmen/ young
prisms/ Weekend/ oWl
people
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $2-$3, 21+
ViVian girls/ male bond-
ing/ mouTh breaThers/
bandiT TeeTh
The Jackpot Music Hall,
10 p.m., $8-$10, 18+
billy ebeling and his one
man band
The Jackpot Music Hall,
6 p.m., free, all ages
opening recepTion For
The Fresh produce arT
collecTiVes re:Fresh
The Barrel House, 7 p.m.,
free, all ages
Tellers Family nighT
Tellers, 8 p.m., free, 18+
ray daVies
Liberty Hall, 8 p.m., $34-
$85, all ages
blues Tuesday WiTh bryan
neuberry
The Gaslight Tavern, 7 p.m.,
free, 18+
Tuesday niTe sWing
The Kansas Union, 8 p.m.,
free, all ages
scary larry kansas bike
polo
Veterans Park, 8 p.m., free,
all ages
brainVille TriVia
Johnnys Tavern West,
8 p.m., free, all ages
Tuesday concerT pres-
enTs Frank shopen
Signs of Life, 8 p.m., free,
all ages
Woods/ real esTaTe/ ad
asTra arkesTra
The Jackpot Music Hall,
10 p.m., $8-$10, 18+
digiTal leaTher
The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., $2-$3, 21+
Tracey Trance/ TaTerbug
The Eighth Street Tap
Room, 10 p.m., $3, 21+
billy spears
& beer bellies
Johnnys Tavern, 6 p.m.,
free, 21+
liVe acTion pub TriVia
shoW aT conroy
Conroys Pub, 7 p.m., $5,
21+
sT. paTricks day celebra-
Tion WiTh uncle dirTy
Toes
The Gaslight Tavern, 7 p.m.,
18+
sT. paTricks day celebra-
Tion WiTh roWan
Lawrence Public Library,
7 p.m., free, all ages
The americana music
academy Jam
Signs of Life, 7:30 p.m.,
free, all ages
dollar boWling
The Royal Crest Bowling
Lanes, 9 p.m., $1, all ages
pride nighT
Wildes Chateau 24, 9 p.m.,
$5, 18+
$1 drink dance parTy
Fatsos, 10 p.m., 21+
3
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The Bottleneck
737 New Hampshire St.
The Jackpot Music Hall
943 Massachusetts St.
The Jazzhaus
926 1/2 Massachusetts St.
The Replay Lounge
946 Massachusetts St.
The Eighth St. Taproom
801 New Hampshire St.
Lawrence Arts Center
940 New Hampshire St.
The Granada
1020 Massachusetts St.
The Pool Room
925 Iowa St.
Wildes Chateau 24
2412 Iowa St.
Duffys
2222 W. 6th St.
Conroys Pub
3115 W. 6th St., Ste. D
The Bottleneck
737 New Hampshire St.
venues //
wednesday, mar. 17th
editors note //
Most adolescent girls at the turn of the
millennium had their respective boy band
crushes: A then bleach-blonde Justin Timberlake
of *NSYNC, or bad boy crooner A.J. McLean
of the Backstreet Boys. My obsession began with
the premiere of ABCs, Making the Band. Before
P. Diddy and Danity Kane, Making the Band was
about putting cookie-cutter 18-year-olds into a
decently harmonizing group called O-Town.
After a suspenseful season of sappy love songs
and pelvis thrusting dance moves, the fnale
occurred. Te members were Trevor, Jacob,
Ikaika (who went on to be replaced by Dan),
Erik, and my personal favorite: Ashley Parker
Angel. (Yes hes a dude, contrary to the feminine-
sounding name).
I adored Ashleys highlighted blonde hair,
chiseled features and sparkling blue eyes. Te
rest of the season, I watched him and the boys
EDITOR // Alex Garrison
ASSOCIATE EDITOR //
Kelci Shipley
DESIGNERS // Laura Fisk,
Liz Schulte
CONTACT // Lindsay Cleek,
Leslie Kinsman, Katy Saunders
HEALTH // Adam Vossen
MANUAL // Emily Johnson,
Ben Sullivan
NOTICE // Mary Henderson,
10
JAYPLAY The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
(785) 864-4810
FolloW Jayplay on TWiTTer aT
twitter.com/Jayplaymagazine
bicker and somehow produce a self-titled CD
featuring one-hit wonders such as Liquid
Dreams and All or Nothing.
I got a chance to live out my O-Town
obsession in person when the band came to
Sokol auditorium in Omaha. It was my frst
concert. My best friend Paige and I went with
her mother, who pulled us to the front of the
standing-room only crowd.
Te band arrived and most likely faked
singing through their set, but I didnt notice.
When Ashley stepped forward I couldnt
breathe. I frantically jumped up and down
in my red Abercrombie wind-breaker, hoping
hed be able to reach my outstretched palm. I
swore we made eye contact.
Check out Marys personal essay (and see
her picture with Ashley) on page 15 to read
about her journey to fnd self-confdence. Like
her, I too fell victim to the ideals and media
hype of pop stars. Sometimes, celebrities
(even non-famous boy band members) can
create unrealistic and skewed expectations of
appearance and love, blurring the line between
reality and fantasy.
Abby Olcese, Anna Sobering
PLAY // Beth Beavers,
Taylor Brown, Anna Kathagnarath
CONTRIBUTORS //
Mike Anderson, Savannah Abbott,
Mia Iverson, Molly Martin, Landon
McDonald, Jacob Muselmann,
Brittany Nelson, Amanda Sorell
CREATIVE CONSULTANT //
Carol Holstead
CONTACT US //
jayplay10@gmail.com
// KELCI SHIPLEY, ASSOCIATE EDITOR
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NOTICE
2
03
11
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4
celebritweets // Conan oBrien (@ConanoBrien)
Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial.
Somebody help me.
4:54 PM Feb 24th via web
Today I connected all the freckles on my arm with a Sharpie. It spells out RIKSHA-
Z9LIRK. Clearly I am The Chosen One.
1:54 PM Feb 26th via web
If anyones curious what I look like with a beard, its this ?:^(0) Coincidentally,
thats also my ATM pin number.
2:45 PM Mar 1st via web
I just had the fries at the McDonalds in Culver City near the Lady Foot Locker. SO
AWESOME. If you can get there, ORDER THOSE FRIES.
1:40 PM Mar 3rd via web
This morning I applied for a job at Home Depot, but they couldnt fnd an apron
big enough to ft over my head. Tomorrow: Staples.
11:32 AM Mar 4th via web
Hey gang! Look for me at the Oscars tonight. Ill be in the parking lot, wearing my
prom tux and listening on the radio.
1:21 PM Mar 7th via web
// TAKEN FROM TWITTER.COM BY KELCI SHIPLEY
Comedian, former host of Late Night with Conan OBrien
wescoe wit
lol.
GIRL 1 : I went to say hi to her, but I
thought oh yeah, shes weird,
and I walked away.
GUY : Did I tell you that Im getting
married to the library?
GUY 1 : I cant fnd a cheap hotel for
spring break.
Im sure you can fnd a box
somewhere.
GUY 2:
// MARY HENDERSON
GIRL 1 : You lose track of time when you
sleep sometimes.
Ya think? GIRL 2:
Dont wear huge headphones. It
makes you look like a damn hipster.
GUY :
GIRL : Do guys say they were assaulted
if someone grabs their man
boobs?
GUY : $45 on fip fops? Are you nuts?
They are really good fip fops.
They better be made out of gold.
GIRL :
GUY :
GUY :
GIRL : Why do they call it Larryville? Bill
Self won a national championship
too.
Because Larryville sounds better
than Billville.
CONFIDENCE
CANT
COMPARE
15 years of making it happen
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Q&A // JEFF MARX, CO-CREATOR OF THE BROADWAY MUSICAL AVENUE Q
because we have questions. celebrities have answers.
JP:
JM:
JP:
JM:
Jef Marx never expected to be the creator of a
Tony Award-winning adult puppet comedy. But
with the help of his partner, Robert Lopez, and
inspiration from their friends, the two created the
popular Broadway musical Avenue Q. But dont
expect to learn your ABCs at this puppet show.
Tese furry monsters will entertain you with their
witty dialogue, heart-felt life lessons and songs
such as Te Internet is for Porn, What Do
You Do with a B.A. in English? and Everyones
A Little Bit Racist. Avenue Q, which has been
running successfully since 2004, will be showing
at 7:30 p.m., March 24 at the Lied Center. Tickets
are between $21 and $48.
Profane puppetry: Jeff Marx poses with Nicky, one of his off-beat creations from the Tony Award-winning musical Avenue Q. Nicky is said to be a parody of Bert, from
Sesame Street. Avenue Q will be showing on March 24 at the Lied Center.
Contributed photo by David Blank
Jayplay: You were a lawyer before you
met Robert Lopez, your co-creator for
Avenue Q. Why did you begin writing?

Jeff Marx: I met Bobby at the BMI Musical
Teatre workshop in New York City, where
writers go to meet collaborators. I was a
young lawyer fresh out of college looking
for clients. I never wanted to be a writer.
It just happened. Bobby and I both love
musicals, but our friends cant stand them.
So we tried to think about what they would
actually be interested in. When cartoons
or Muppets start singing its expected and
everybody likes it. Everyone we know loves
Muppets, but since Jim Henson died the
Muppets have been kind of shitty. So we
thought, maybe their songs werent good
enough? So we started writing a Muppet
movie. We tried to get it to the Jim Henson
Company but they said thanks but no
thanks. It took one guy to say no and it
was dead. So we stopped writing for other
peoples characters. We said fuck the fuckin
Muppets, well create our own.

What did you and Lopez do in the
process of creating Avenue Q?
We spent a long time creating something
similar to an adult version of Sesame Street.
Te show ended up being about our friends
and us. Te puppets talk the way we talk.
We wanted them to be real. Its not just
funny because they say fuck all the time
like we do, its entertaining because they are
dealing with real issues like being closeted,
still getting money from their parents and
obsessions with porn.

How long did it take to create the show?
How did you balance the work between
the two of you?
It took fve years getting everything
together, with no money coming in, not
knowing if it would ever be produced.
Bobby and I both wrote and took turns
at the piano. It was a great experience
because if I didnt really know if something
was funny I could just ask him. It was like
NOTICE
// ANNA SOBERING
having two editors; two wells of knowledge
working on a project.

What was your original plan to get the
show produced?
Our initial idea was to pitch it as a TV show
on a station like Comedy Central. So we
contacted everybody we could ever think of
for a meeting to pitch the show but nobody
from TV showed up. But because we knew
a lot of people in theatre they showed up.
I immediately recognized Jefrey Seller, the
producer of Rent. He told me if we did
the show on stage he would produce it.
And when the producer of Rent tells you
something like that you dont go home
and think about it, you say hell yes! He
helped us through the process of bringing in
a director and getting the show to a venue
of Broadway.
For people who havent had the
opportunity to see Avenue Q, how do the
puppeteers and the puppets interact with
each other on stage?
It was really interesting fguring out how
JP:
JM:
JP:
JM:
they would work together. We didnt really
know how to hide the puppeteers. But
people ended up telling us that they liked
seeing them. Your mind kind of blocks
them out when you watch the puppets. So,
when you look at the puppeteer you think,
what is that person doing there? Its a big
mind fuck.

Where did the frst show premier? How
did it go?
It ended up in a 120-seat theatre in the East
Village. We were just doing our own quirky
thing; we never thought it would reach such
a broad audience. We got a great review from
Te New York Times comparing the show to
West Side Story. I was like fuck, really?! So
many people were waiting for tickets the
show ended up moving to a bigger venue
on Broadway.

What was it like when you heard the show
was moving to Broadway?
Our producers brought us all together but
didnt tell us what was going on. When
they told us we were going to Broadway it
JP:
JM:
JP:
JM:
was like a once in a lifetime moment where
everything seems like its moving in slow
motion. I couldnt believe it.

How did you feel when you won the
Tonys?
When we found out we had won it was a
huge surprise. It was supposed to be Wickeds
year. Wicked was a $14 million production
against our $3 million show with 7 actors.
Honestly, it was a total shock. I thought we
had no chance. We ended up winning Best
Musical Score, the show won Best Musical
and Jef Whitty won the award for Best
Book.

Why should audiences go see this show
instead of going to a movie or a concert?
Te show is a unique and fun way to see
puppets. But its also about the funny and
meaningful lessons you learn in that weird
transition period after college. Te show is
about fnding your purpose in life. Overall
its just a fun musical experience.

JP:
JM:
JP:
JM:
3 5
03
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Jp
CONTACT
catch of the week // TOBY WRIGHT
our weekly peek at a fsh in the KU sea.
HOMETOWN: Arkansas City, Kansas
YEAR: Junior
MAJOR: Vocal Performance
INTERESTED IN: Women
Contributed photo
// KATY SAUNDERS
Main hobbies: Listening to music, watching
opera, singing, playing sports and hanging out
with friends.

Favorite Lawrence hangout: To get away I
like to go to Clinton Lake and sit on the dam.
It is nice to be able to sit alone sometimes and
not worry about the world for a minute. If I am
looking to go out and get a drink, upstairs at
Henrys is usually where I head.

Favorite quote: Be more concerned with your
character than your reputation, because your
character is what you really are, while your
reputation is merely what others think you are.
John Wooden

Major turn of(s): Materialistic girls. I get the
whole wanting to look good and all, but give me
some substance.

Major turn on(s): A girl who is seriously
motivated and passionate about what she is doing
with her life. Also, I think it is a big deal to have
a girl who likes my friends.

Notices frst in a potential partner: Eyes, because
they can communicate so much of what a person
may be thinking. It defnitely does not hurt to
have a nice pair of eyes.

Why I am a catch: I drive a mini-van and Im
not ashamed of it. Some may not understand
that very well, but coming from a humble
background, I am very thankful for everything
that I have been blessed with so far in my life. I
understand the importance of working hard every
day to hopefully achieve the goals that I have set
for myself.
2
03
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6
Ninety percent of the time I can tell when
a couple is going to break up. When you are
looking for it, dissatisfaction in a relationship
is clear as day. One of the biggest signs is the
increase of the word fne in the couples
vocabulary. Fine is code for something is
bothering me, but I dont want to bring it up
because I think I am protecting the relationship.
Tis response actually hurts the relationship.
People who withhold confict will not
have as strong of a relationship as people
who problem solve. An avoidance style of
communication wont work in a relationship
especially romantic ones. Tere is a very
strong association between topic avoidance and
relational satisfaction. As topic avoidance goes
up, relational satisfaction goes down. A problem-
solving view on communication is much better
than an avoidance style of communication.
To see this in practice, lets take a hypothetical
situation with two possible outcomes.
Te problem with our hypothetical couple,
Shannon and Ryan, centers on Shannons
annoyance with Ryans teasing of her.
If Shannon and Ryans relationship is based
on an open communication style, Shannon may
try to communicate her displeasure with Ryan
and, after talking through the situation, the
two feel closer and learn a lot about each other,
strengthening the relationship.
In scenario B, Shannon and Ryan have the
same problem. Except this time Shannon doesnt
say anything. Te problem sits inside Shannon
and they both start to avoid more topics and
confrontations, which then spirals into a much
larger fght, all triggered by attempting to pass
of something as fne just to avoid a mature
dialogue. Tis attack continues until one person
storms of and the relationship is damaged.
Te message is clear: An avoidance style of
confict hurts relationship satisfaction.
Do you have a question for Kansas in Heat?
E-mail it to kansasinheat@yahoo.com.
relationship researcher Mike Anderson tackles the sticky world of
relationship advice, one weekly Jayplay column at a time.
*THE OPINIONS OF THIS COLUMNIST DO NOT NECESSAR-
ILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF JAYPLAY. KANSAS IN HEAT IS
NOT TO BE CONSIDERED AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFES-
SIONAL HELP.
Mike Anderson, Dellwood, Minn., graduate stu-
dent, is the host of Kansas in Heat, a talk show
about sex and relationships that airs Thursdays at
7 p.m. on KJHK, 90.7fm and at kjhk.org.
kansas in heat // THE KILLER F WORD
// LINDSAY CLEEK
how we met // RODGER MaTTHEWs & KaTE KEnnEDY
all great relationships had to start somewhere.
Rodger Matthews, Lawrence junior, and Kate
Kennedy, Lawrence sophomore, went to junior
high school together but didnt become friends
until they started hanging out in Hashinger Hall
last year.
Although Matthews didnt live there, he
befriended Kennedy and discovered they had
quite a few mutual friends. Soon they began to
desire more than a platonic relationship. However,
not wanting to risk ruining their friendship, both
Matthews and Kennedy kept their attraction a
secret for months. Tis hesitation started to take
a toll on their relationship before it even started.
We didnt do anything but argue about
whether or not we should be together, Matthews
says.
Kennedy was forced to come to terms with
her crush when her roommate confronted her
about how much time she was spending with
Matthews.
What I liked most about Rodger was that
even though he was confdent, he never acted like
an egotistical douche bag, Kennedy says.
Similarly, Matthews felt refreshed by how
diferent Kennedy was from other girls hed dated.
Shes just as cynical as I am, which is pretty
sweet, Matthews says. Its nice not having a girl
get mad at me for saying really stupid, cynical
shit all the time.
Last October, Kennedy and Matthews
decided it was fnally time to make things
ofcial. Tough Kennedy worried that
things might become awkward among their
mutual friends, she was pleased to fnd their
relationship was greeted with excitement and
support.

Residence hall romance: Matthews and Kennedy
met on the sixth foor of Hashinger Hall.
HEALTH
HOMESICKNESS. LITERALLY.
I should not have eaten the pizza.
It was my junior year in high school, and I
was on an exchange trip with a group from my
school in Vladimir, Russia. One afternoon, my
host, Kate, and I ate lunch together in a pizzeria
downtown. From the frst bite I took, I realized
there was something wrong with the food, but
for some reason I ate a whole slice of pizza.
Immediately afterward, I felt awful. I ended up
getting violently ill, barely even able to keep water
down without having to run for the toilet.
After spending a night and the following
morning moaning, groaning and heaving, my
host mother forced me into a car and of to the
hospital, despite my protests about my health
insurance not covering any of the local doctors.
After getting hooked up with an I.V. drip for
about fve hours, I ended up being just fne and
(somehow) not needing to pay any medical fees.
It was a scary lesson in travel wisdom: Always be
Foreign fu: Coming down with an illness in the middle of your study abroad adventure is never fun, but its important to know what precautions to take if you dont feel
well in a new country. Health policies and insurance for students may vary, so be sure to check out all of your options before departure.
Photo illustration by Karsten Lunde
// Abby Olcese
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wary of health risks and prepare for the worst.
Staying healthy is a major consideration
students have to keep in mind when traveling to
another country. Te Center for Disease Control
recommends that anyone planning on taking a
trip abroad get familiar with what preventative
measures to take before leaving, and what steps to
take if you should encounter a medical emergency.
Most illnesses are pretty minor, such as diarrhea,
which the CDC says aficts 20 to 60 percent of
travelers. However, depending on where youre
traveling, the risks for diferent diseases may be
greater.
Annette Becker, Lenora junior, says shes
had plenty of experience getting sick in other
countries. While traveling in India, Becker says
she was miserable after accidentally brushing her
teeth with tap water and getting diarrhea.
All the food made me sick, the temperature
outside was about 110 degrees, there was one
ceiling fan in my room, it smelled like rotting
fruit and cow shit and the only toilet in the place
was a crumbling squat toilet, Becker says. I
dont think Ive ever been that miserable since.
Robert Lopez, outreach coordinator for the
Ofce of Study Abroad, says students studying
abroad through the University get flled in on
health tips during program orientation, but
there are several other resources students can use
in addition. Lopez recommends using Watkins
Health Centers Travel Consultation Clinic for
advice on what medical precautions to take before
an international journey. Lopez also says the
Council on International Education Exchange
(CIEE) ofers information on a variety of travel-
safety related topics.
One health issue to consider before a trip is
culinary diferences. Derek Setter, Cunningham
senior, learned this when he got sick in London
after a late night meal at a fast food place. Te
next day, Setter was sick to his stomach, and says
he was throwing up, felt feverish and delirious.
Setter says his experience taught him that even in
countries with foods and eating habits similar to
the U.S., its important to be watch what you eat.
Te food might be pretty much the same, but
the cultural context is diferent, Setter says. For
the rest of the trip, I ended up picking food that
was closer to what Im used to eating here.
Another factor to take into account is Health
Insurance. Will your provider cover you if you
break your leg while exploring ancient ruins, or
fnd out too late that roasted goat doesnt set well
with your stomach? A CIEE pamphlet on health
says its important to check if your study abroad
program ofers health insurance as part of the
program fee, and whether your plan will pay a
healthcare provider in another country directly,
or if you have to pay and be reimbursed later. Te
Ofce of Study Abroad also lists several options
for Study Abroad insurance providers.
In addition to checking insurance and your
medical condition before departing for another
country, a relatively simple way to prepare
is packing a frst-aid kit. CIEE recommends
bandages, rubbing alcohol, anti-diarrhea
medication and sunscreen in addition to whatever
regular medications you need to bring.
Becker says that her experiences traveling have
informed her travel preparations. Shes fgured
out her own list of what to bring when shes going
to another country, including Gatorade powder,
which she adds to liter-sized bottles of water to
help keep her hydrated, and nutrition bars. If
you cant handle eating strange food while sick or
cant fnd a sanitary eatery, these at least keep you
alive, she says.
From diarrhea in India to stomach fu in Russia, international travel carries plenty of health risks
KUs Office of Study Abroad:
http://www.studyabroad.ku.edu

KUs Student Health Services Travel
Care site:
http://www.studenthealth.ku.edu/
services/travel_care.shtml
Center for Disease Control site on
travel:
http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel

Health info from the Council on
International Educational Exchange
http://www.ciee.org/study/why-ciee/
health-safety.aspx
*
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*
Jp
Where to go
for heaLth heLP
ris was dumbfounded. He thought
he was experiencing dj vu. For
the second time, he had to end a
relationship because of cheating.
To make matters worse, both of Kriss previous
girlfriends had cheated on him with their ex-
boyfriends, who were ironically both named Nick
and enlisted in the military. I couldnt believe
the same scenario was happening to me all over
again, Kris says.
In both situations, Kris girlfriends had been
emailing their exes while they were stationed
overseas; when they came home the afairs went
from emotional to physical. Kris says he trusted
their privacy, so he never felt the need to check
their email accounts. But looking back on it, he
wonders if he shouldve checked.
Kriss exes also never told him they were
unhappy with their relationship with him. It
wouldve been an easier end to things if we had
broken up for other reasons, Kris says. Cheating
makes a breakup so much harder.
Kriss experience is not uncommon in young
relationships. In 2008, the National Center
for Education Statistics reported that the odds
an undergraduate student ended his or her last
relationship because of cheating was 1 in 13.7.
Sometimes cheating brings light to an underlying
problem, allowing couples to fx it and become
stronger. In cases like Kris, however, the afair
leads to a breakup. People cheat for a variety of
reasons and it is important to have your own
defnition in order to set limits in your personal
relationship.

IS IT PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL?

Te general consensus among 25 random
KU students was that anytime somebody in a
relationship gets physical with somebody else,
its considered cheating. However, an emotional
afair can be just as detrimental to a relationship.
Te real question is: Is there a diference between
physical and emotional cheating?
Sharon Rivkin, a licensed marriage therapist
in California, says there is no diference because
either way you look at it, its still a betrayal.
Many people rationalize that theyre not really
7
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FEATURE
K
// KATY SAUNDERS
in the 21st Century
CHEATING
LOVERS
cheating if they havent had sex, Rivkin says.
But, oftentimes, emotional cheating is more
detrimental because the connection goes much
deeper.
In a survey done by MSNBC, nearly 20 percent
of survey takers in committed relationships
admitted to romantically kissing someone else
a violation that 83 percent of survey takers
consider to be cheating. In addition, 65 percent of
surveyed women said falling in love with someone
else and not having sexual intercourse was worse
than if their partner just cheated sexually with
no emotions attached. Fifty-three percent of the
men disagreed and said that physical cheating was
worse.

MSN Lifestyle writer Abraham Lloyd supports
the male perspective that for men, physical
cheating is more painful than emotional cheating.
As a gender, we tend to relate to everything in
a physical way frst, Lloyd says. We envision
our partner with another man and that feeling of
rejection is emasculating.
Megan Elliott, Overland Park junior, agrees
with the women in the survey. I think emotional
cheating is just as bad, if not worse than physical
cheating, she says. Physical cheating usually
happens during a drunken hookup, but emotional
cheating is calculated and pre-mediated.
Whether it is physical or emotional, cheating
on a partner is usually the result of a bigger issue
within a relationship, and cheating can be the
vehicle that enables a couple to address problems,
Rivkin says. I dont want to condone cheating,
but positive things can and do happen from a
moment of weakness, Rivkin says. It certainly
puts all the issues on the table in the primary
relationship, which otherwise may not have come
to light.

TECHNOLOGY PLAYS AN EMOTIONAL ROLE

With the wide-reaching capabilities of the
Internet and cell phones, emotional cheating is
easier than ever. Te National Opinion Research
Centers General Social Survey said that between
1991 and 2006, the numbers of unfaithful
women and men under 30 increased by 20 and
45 percent, respectively. Experts from the survey
think this increase has a lot to do with access to
technology.
People can cheat through intimate
correspondence with someone on a cell phone
or through email, by meeting someone over the
Internet, or by engaging in mutual masturbation
by using a web camera. MSNBCs survey says
that 15 percent of surveyed men and 7 percent
of women have engaged in online sex or sexual
webcamming, which 66 percent of people
consider to be cheating.
Trough password protection and multi-
functional cell phones, technology provides
unfaithful partners with an easier method of being
disloyal. Emailing was the path Kris exes took to
cheat on him. Kris says he believes technology
provides more opportunities to be unfaithful.
Technology has increased the avenues for
people to cheat, Kris says. It provides so much
secrecy and capabilities for easily covering up
suspicious actions.
Te Internet allows people to connect on
emotional levels before getting physically
involved, but these emotional ties can eventually
lead to physical cheating like it did for both of
Kris exes. Chat room groups such as Yahoos
Married and Flirting and Microsofts Married
But Flirting are outlets for unfaithful partners
to easily seek out other people willing to cheat.
Cheaters can meet new people without risking
getting caught by going out.
Although technology makes it easier to meet
people to be unfaithful with, it can also leave
you with more digital evidence such as website
history, texts and emails, putting words that used
to be spoken into writing. GPS tracking makes
it easy to follow the whereabouts of a suspected
cheater, and sites such as Intelius can provide a
doubting partner with phone records, including
how many times a suspicious number appears in
the call log. Technology makes it easier for the
cheater to cheat, but it can also increase a cheaters
chance of getting caught.

REASONS FOR CHEATING

Although sex tends to be the frst thing that
comes to mind with cheating, emotional and
A battle of lust, love and loyalty in defning cheating
Whether its
physical or
emotional,
cheating is
usually the
result of a
bigger issue
within a
relationship
Women
1. Revenge for your cheating
2. Exit strategy
3. Bedroom boredom
4. Emotional withdrawal
5. Feeling ignored/underappreciated
6. Lack of intimacy
7. Payback for past wrongs
8. Self-esteem
9. Being the bad girl
10. Not enough sex

Men
1. Dont love her anymore
2. Not turned on by her anymore
3. Women allowed it before
4. Girlfriend is a snag
5. The opportunity was there
6. Ego boost
7. To see if he can get away with it
8. Its an exciting challenge
9. She cheated on him
10. She doesnt put out
Source: AskMen.com
reasons for cheating
TOP TEN
FEATURE
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Text message hook up: Technology has made it easier for cheating to occur. Whether its through text messages, webcams, or intimate email correspondence, people looking for action outside of their relationship may have an
easier time doing it. Beware, however, because this method can leave digital footprints through cell phone records and website history.
// KATY SAUNDERS
psychological factors can also play major roles.
People tend to cheat physically when theyve
lost their attraction to their partner or they
arent getting enough sex. When unfaithful
companions start paying more emotional
attention to someone else, they are removing
themselves from their current relationship and
having their emotional needs met elsewhere.
Te chase or the thrill of someone new also
drives sexual afairs. If and when an opportunity
presents itself, the temptation can be hard to
resist, especially if bedroom boredom or revenge
for a partners indiscretions is already in the
back of your mind. But these are all underlying
problems in a relationship.
Gabriella Hartwell, author and relationship
coach in Arizona, says she sees a lot of partners
cheat in a relationship for fear of being alone.
Some people need that reassurance that there is
always someone else, Hartwell says.
Courtney, a KU graduate student, has cheated
on all of her boyfriends for an entirely diferent
reason: She cant get over her ex. Although it has
always been a spontaneous thing, every time
she has cheated it has been with the same ex-
boyfriend.
Hes like my Mr. Big, Courtney says. He
has a sneaky way of knowing when something is
going wrong with my current relationship and he
calls right when I need someone else.
Courtney admits that two of her relationships
ended directly from these indiscretions, but every
time she is in a relationship she fnds herself
going back to the guy she has history with. She
says she goes back to him because she still has
feelings for him.
He has a power over me, Courtney says.
Hell never be what I want him to be, but theres
something there between us that will never go
away.

THE AFTERMATH

If you cheated, deciding to tell your partner
can be difcult. If it only happened once and
didnt mean anything, is it worth hurting your
partner and risking the end of the relationship?
Hartwell, author and life coach, says if it only
happens once and it doesnt happen again, you
may not need to communicate your betrayal.
She also warns of the possible backlash this could
cause if the partner fnds out from someone else.
If one-night stands start becoming habits or
the cheating starts to afect you emotionally,
Hartwell then advises to communicate the
issue. It is always important to listen and try to
understand what happened and why. Try not to
just accuse, because both parties are processing
the situation, she says.If it is going to afect you,
then you need to express it because if something
is missing and if its not being communicated,
then you cant fx it with that person.
However, some people believe in the dont
ask, dont tell philosophy. Nick Peterson,
Austin, Texas, senior, says that cheating is never a
clear-cut issue. If its a one-time thing, Im more
difer in each person. Say youre at a bar with
your boyfriend or girlfriend and they are openly
firting with other people and its making you
uncomfortable. What are you going to do about
it? In that moment, it may not be wrong for that
person, but maybe it is for you.
Cheating in relationships is an important
issue for college students today. Studies show
that we are more promiscuous than our parents
generation. A habit of playing the feld while
single could make cheating that more tempting
while in a relationship. Te best thing to do is to
be clear with someone on your expectations in a
relationship in order to lessen the pain cheating
can cause. Jp
willing to accept it. But admitting to it may do
too much damage, Peterson says. Trust is hard
to earn and even harder to get back.
In these cases of one-night stands, people love
to use alcohol as an excuse for their actions. If
your partner goes out drinking without you
and ends up in someone elses bed, it can be
difcult to tell if the act was pre-meditated or
spontaneous. Kelsey Gibbons, Denver, Colo.,
junior, says alcohol is no excuse.
If my boyfriend cheated on me once when
he was drunk, I would never trust him going
out alone again, Gibbons says. Even if he was
drunk, in my opinion, hes still subconsciously
looking for it.
Understanding how you and your partner
feel about cheating is important, because values
TOP TEN
1. Spends more time away
2. Changes in cell phone habits
3. Cheaters clothes smell of alcohol,
smoke, or foreign perfume or cologne
4. Cheating partner clears computer history,
spends odd hours or unusually long
times on the computer, changes screen
display when you enter the room
5. Cheater is not interested in sex as much
and stops cuddling, kissing or holding
hands
6. Starts using cash more often
7. Unexplained receipts in his or her
car, wallet or desk.
8. Changes in diet, hairstyle, starts visiting
tanning salon, buys new clothes and/or
lingerie
9. He or she begins bathing or showering
more frequently
10. Cheating partner asks about your sched-
ule more often than usual

Source: Stephany Alexander, infdelity expert and author

SI GNS of cheating
Photo illustration by Jerry Wang
MANUAL
get some culture // Cooking Classes
its not all about fast food and beer pong.
Te Community Mercantile, 901 Iowa St.,
ofers nightly cooking classes with a variety of
themes and recipes for the cost of a night at
the movies.
Classes are $15 or $18 per person and take
place from 7 to 9 p.m. in the Mercs classroom
each night. Classes are set up demonstration-
style as opposed to hands-on, similar to a TV
cooking show in front of a studio audience,
says Nancy OConnor, director of education
and outreach and class instructor. Students
follow along as the featured chef shows them
how to prepare four or fve recipes and they
sample each fnished product. At the end of
each session, students receive the recipes to
take home and a 5 percent discount coupon to
buy groceries at the Merc.
Cooking themes are based on the seasonality
of ingredients, diferent cultures and holidays
and the strengths of the chefs. Some chefs
teach regularly, but there is a wide variety of
instructors; every session is diferent and class
content changes nightly.
Chefs from prominent local restaurants
and exotic cuisine frequently attract a full
audience. OConnor expects Aprils class with
the executive chef from Free State Brewery, 636
Massachusetts St., to fll up fast. Contemporary
// EMILY JOHNSON
Contributed photo
An apple a day: Classes at the Merc cost anywhere
from $15 to $18 and teach you how to make four or
fve various recipes.
ethnic foods and exotic fare such as sushi are also
popular.
Schedules are planned two months in advance,
so the schedules for the current and following
months are available in store and online at
communitymercantile.com. Te cutof date to
sign up is 24 hours before each session, but early
enrollment ensures you a spot before it flls.
2
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// EMILY JOHNSON
1200 Oread Ave. 785-843-1200
(located inside The Oread)
www.theoread.com
w
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$
CELEBRATE THURSDAY
IN STYLE
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pizza fro
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slice o
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isto
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CAVE OPEN
THURSDAY - SATURDAY
DOORS OPEN 9PM
full Menu Listed at www.theoread.com
fnter throuh hotel on 0read Ave or from Indiana 5t.
1zoo 0read Avenue
8.8o.1o
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*with validation
5alad and Pizza Lunch uffet for $.
Mon - fri 11:oam - 1:opm
712 Mass St.
856-8500
www.facebook.com/teapouro
www.teapouro.net
NOW OPEN AT 8 AM
Try our bubble teas
St. Patricks Day Special
$
1.99 Large Bubble Tea
MANUAL

Daniela Stilwell, Hutchinson junior, has
dragged herself out of bed many mornings to
prepare breakfast for those who dont have the
luxury of sleeping in a warm, safe place.
Stilwell began volunteering at Jubilee Caf
to fulfll a community service requirement for a
social welfare class. Jubilee Caf provides a free
hot breakfast to Lawrence community members
Tuesday and Friday mornings at First United
Methodist Church, 946 Vermont St. Many of
the people who come are homeless or otherwise
disadvantaged. Caf volunteers begin frying
hash browns, scrambling eggs and setting tables
as early as 5 a.m. Stilwell became a master gravy
maker, but it wasnt the lessons in culinary arts
that hooked her. She discovered that many of the
patrons have amazing life stories, and she loves
the staf that works there. Every time I left I just
felt so good. I was energized for the rest of the
day, Stilwell says.
Volunteering is a rewarding way to spend a few
free hours that can positively impact many types of
people, and Jubilee is just one of many charitable
organizations around Lawrence that depends
on the kindness of volunteers to function. Find
a cause that needs your abilities and tugs at the
humanitarian in your heart, and get a lot out of
giving a little.
Te Roger Hill Volunteer Center, 2518
Ridge Ct., helps volunteers connect with local
organizations. Director Lori Johns says that
in 2009, more than 600 people came to the
center for assistance with fnding volunteer
opportunities, from which the center made about
2,500 referrals. Prospective volunteers receive
three or four referrals each to help them fgure out
what theyre interested in, and from those choose
the one they fnd most appealing.
Te center has a weekly highlights link on
its website, www.rhvc.org, that lists the current
needs of some of its 125 local afliates. Tese
volunteer-based organizations use a variety of
strategies, such as food service, art, tutoring,
manual labor and quality time to care for the
needs of the homeless, disabled, youth, animals
and the environment, to name a few.
If you already know what youre interested in,
a website such as VolunteerMatch.org can help
you easily fnd corresponding charities in your
area. Simply enter your location and a keyword
and a list of local organizations accompanied by a
Google map will pop up in a matter of seconds.
But before you commit, determine what level
of time and devotion you are able to put into a
cause.
Organizations such as Jubilee Caf do not
require volunteers to go through specifc training
or commit to working a certain number of
hours, but others may. For example, at Womens
Transitional Care Services, 2518 Ridge Ct.,
potential volunteers are required to complete a
40-hour training program and committ to serving
on a regular basis. WTCS advocates for domestic
violence victims.
Bianca Bassell, Wichita junior, completed
WTCS training program and learned about all
types of domestic violence before she even visited
the shelter. She now volunteers weekly. Te work
fuels her interest in helping women and children
and looks good on her resume as a psychology
major, but knowing how much the women she
helps appreciate her work is the real reward, she
says. Bassell recently stayed until 1 a.m. helping a
woman complete paperwork to stay at the shelter.
She really was happy that she was in a safe place
and that people were trying to take care of her,
Bassell says. Te fact that she told me thank you
so many times just made the job more rewarding
to me. Tose kind of things are the things that
make you want to go back every week.

Doing good for your community may be easier than you think
Help yourself to
// EMILY JOHNSON
helping others
Photo by Collin Johnson
Feeding the soul: The volunteers at Julibee Caf include many students. Volunteers help prepare and serve hot
breakfasts for Lawrence community members. The Caf is just one of many volunteer opportunities around.
VOLUNTEER VICTORY

Kansas ranks within the top 10 in the
country for volunteering. Heres a look at
Kansas volunteering by the numbers.

765,400 volunteers
36.2 percent of residents volunteer
ranking Kansas 8th among the 50 states
and Washington, DC
94.5 million hours of service
44.7 hours per resident ranking Kansans
9th among the 50 states and Washington,
DC
$1.9 billion of service contributed

56,300 volunteers from Lawrence
41.3 percent of Lawrence residents
volunteer

Data from www.volunteeringinamerica.gov
based on statistics from 20042008
11
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Jp
712
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PLAY
this weekend // MACELIS BRUNCH BUFFET
because those CSI marathons are getting old.
Sunday afternoons often lose the fght for
exciting weekend moments against Friday and
Saturday nights. Macelis, 1031 New Hampshire
St., makes sure Sunday afternoons dont throw
in the towel.
Six days out of the week Macelis is a
banquet hall and catering company reserved for
scheduled events. On Sundays from 9:30 a.m.
to 1:30 p.m., they open their doors to serve
hungry breakfast and lunch lovers an all-you-
can-eat brunch bufet.
Teir bufet consists of several breakfast
items including French toast or pancakes, egg
entres, breakfast meats, biscuits and gravy and
many others. Tey also have a made-to-order
omelet station, wafe station with berry sauce
and vanilla sauce, as well as a yogurt bar. We
started the yogurt bar about six weeks ago,
says Laura Stephens, Macelis banquet captain.
People love it.
At 10 a.m., lunch items are served. Te
items are diferent every week, says Chelsea
Davidson, Macelis administrator. Like its
lunch items, much of Macelis Sunday brunch
changes weekly. Te banquet hall serves a
quiche of the day, diferent pastries, extra egg
entres and other variants. Chefs even create
themed brunches depending on holidays or the
// TAYLOR BROWN
Afternoon delight: Macelis offers buffet-style meals
beginning 9:30 a.m. for breakfast and 10 a.m. for lunch.
Photo by Taylor Brown
season, such as adding turkey delicacies around
Tanksgiving or chocolate-dipped strawberries
around Valentines Day.
Te adult bufet price is $13.99, but the
student bufet price is $12.99. If you dont think
your appetite can tackle a bufet, check out the
smaller breakfast bistro set option at $7.99, which
includes a couple breakfast dishes. Macelis also
ofers complimentary juice, cofee and soda, as
well as $2 Mimosas, Bloody Marys and Cranberry
Kisses.
Wrap up your weekend right and get a
bountiful breakfast at Macelis.
312 Burge Union // 864-5665 // Jo Hardesty, Director
:feki` Ylk` e^ kf Jkl[\ek JlZZ\jj :feki` Ylk` e^ kf Jkl[\ek JlZZ\jj
FREE
LEGAL ADVICE
IS RIGHT ACROSS
CAMPUS
PLAY
out & about //
random people. random answers.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
I would freeze time. Right when Im turning in
homework it seems like I need an extra hour.
Luke Underwood
Overland Park Senior
I would choose fight because I could go
anywhere in the world.
Saima Azad
Wichita Freshman
Healing powers, easily. It sucks getting sick
around mid-terms.
Tom Medved
Overland Park Senior
I wouldnt want any because it would make the
smaller things in life less important.
Taylor Hersh
Overland Park Sophomore
// TAYLOR BROWN
13
03
11
10
FREE
POOL
[sun. - thurs.]
midnight-2am
18+
to enter
925 Iowa (behind the Merc)
785.749.5039
$6.29
LAWRENCE
*)(0O&*/l`Klj]]l/0-!/,1%++-,
www.mcalistersdeli.com
Half of ANY Spud.
Half of ANY Salad.
Cup of ANY Soup
or Chili.
Half of ANY Sandwich,
Wrap or Panini.
REVIEW
2
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14
movie review //
Right now, members of the class of 2010 are
applying for countless jobs and internships.
Idealistic future grads are hoping to go out
there and change the world, even though the
world will probably end up changing them.
Its hard to think of a better audience for Te
Last Station a movie that strongly features
themes of idealism, idolatry and coming-of-
age. Te Last Station is currently showing at
Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts St.
Te movie centers on Valentin (James McA-
voy), a young man who lands a dream job as
personal secretary to Leo Tolstoy (Christopher
Plummer). A member of the Tolstoyan move-
ment, Valentin starts out as an eager apostle
of the writer he idolizes. But his relationship
with Tolstoy and his frey wife, Sofya, (Helen
Mirren) makes him re-evaluate the motives of
the movement and its coordinator (Paul Gia-
matti).
Helen Mirren has been receiving quite a
bit of attention for her performance in the
flm (both she and Plummer are nominated
for academy awards). But I found her a little
too wild to enjoy. Mirren has Sofya fying into
rages almost more often than she shares tender
moments with her husband. Te character is
Hollywood hits, indie ficks and everything in between.
// ABBY OLCESE
THE LAST STATION
written as a drama queen, which makes her hard
to sympathize with at times.
Te Last Station also lacks a certain amount of
biting humor, but its there in small doses. Te
movie is even better as a sharp satire than as what
it is: A smart, sweet drama. Its a nice reminder
about the importance of fexibility and love in a
persons mission to improve the world. For any-
one whos hoping to go out there and make a
mark, these are good lessons to bear in mind.
music review //
Shearwater, which was once was an ofshoot
Austin, Texas, band Okkervil River, is now on
their sixth release, and second on Matador.
Jonathan Meiburg leads the group with an
exemplary song writing reminiscent of Leonard
Cohen.
Golden Archipelago possesses the elements
that made the bands previous eforts great:
Interesting yet simple song structure, captivating
soundscapes and Meiburgs vocals that stand on
their own. Its more operatic and ethereal than
rocking, however, percussion is not forgotten.
Te theme of this album is based on Meiburgs
studies of island life, culture and nature. Te frst
pressing of the album will ship with a 50-plus
page booklet of his fndings. Song topics include
an air raid (the lead track), torture (a post-punk
quickie) and complacency.
Tough 2008s Rook is the pinnacle of their
eforts so far, Shearwater puts together another
quality album in Golden Archipelago. If youve
heard of Okkervil River, but not Shearwater, take
some time to give this a listen. Its their more
cinematic project and it has many hidden treasures
if you really dig into those headphones.
Shearwater will be playing at the Bottleneck,
737 New Hampshire St., April 8.
Hollywood hits, indie ficks and everything in between.
SHEARWATER THE GOLdEN
ARcHIpELAGO
(MATAdOR)
// Miles Whetsel
729 New Hampshire (785) 856-3835
LET OUR PIANO PARTYBUS
PICK YOU & TAKE YOU HOME
150 HD Projection Screen
11 Plasma TVs
Celebrate the Madness of March
BASKETBALL
MARCH
HEADQUARTERS
SPEAK
15
03
11
10
// MARY HENDERSON
feel as though fnding love is supposed
to be like a romantic comedy. Like
Josh Dumel is supposed to pop up
out of nowhere and marry me. Im no
Fergie though.
Romantic comedies seem so simple.
Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Girl messes it
up in some way. Boy forgives girl. Boy and girl
live happily ever after. Im having a problem with
the second step. Te closest I have ever gotten to
having someone love me was when some drunk
guy came over to me at a bar and said I love you.
He then proceeded to grab my breast and I was
over it.
My whole dating life has to do with my lack
of self-confdence. I can trace it back to when I
was 12 years old. A Kansas City television station
interviewed me because of my obsession with
Britney Spears. (Dont worry. Im no longer a
Britney fan.) I was going to the concert that
night, and they wanted to fnd a fan to interview.
Tey called me because I knew the cameramans
daughter. Te whole interview I was enthusiastic
and sang on camera. However, when I watched it
that night on the news, I noticed something. I was
wearing a spaghetti strap top and my arms looked
huge in my mind. I stomped into my room and
told my mom I had to change before the concert.
I knew that if I didnt I would be the laughing
stock of the Britney crowd, flled with pencil-thin,
blonde haired girls in short skirts. Ever since then,
Ive been very self-conscious.
I was a very impressionable teenager and a bit
celebrity obsessed. Britney Spears and Christina
Aguilera were my heroes and I wanted to date
Ashley Parker Angel from the boy band O-Town.
But entertainment shows that report on celebrities
make it seem as if you have to look like celebrities
to get boys to like you.
I have the idea that guys are always looking for
a girl of average height, blonde, big boobs and
small waist. Te only thing I have out of those is
big boobs. I also have the stomach to go with it.
Im abnormally tall and have two diferent shades
of brown in my hair. Tis is why, in all my life, Ive
never really had a boyfriend. Feel free to gasp now.
Yes, I know, shocking. Im almost 22 years old and
have yet to fnd an actual relationship.
In junior high and high school, I wasnt your
typical preteen and teenager. Id tell my friends
that I had a crush on a guy, but the guy would
Contributed photo
Rock star dreams: Writer Mary Henderson has dealt with being shy and insecure her whole life but, as she approaches graduation, she is beginning to accept herself for who
she is, a process, she says is easier said than done. Here, Mary is pictured with a high school celebrity crush, Ashley Parker Angel from the boy band O-Town.
Throwing my dreams of unrealistic perfection aside,
Im beginning to accept me for me
never hear about it unless he heard it from other
people. I only had one guy friend, and even then,
we were plagued by rumors of me liking him,
but he didnt like me back. He was more of a big
brother than anything.
My friends know Im unsure of myself. Tey
say Im too self-conscious for my own good and I
put out the image that I dont want anything to do
with boys. Tey have good intentions. Every time
we go to a bar and I see a cute boy, they always
encourage me to go up and talk to him. I decline
and go back to drinking my beverage of choice for
the evening. After we leave, my friends always like
to remind me of how instead of leaving with them,
I could be back at the bar talking to the man of
my dreams who I didnt bother to say hi to. I love
my friends, but sometimes, their good intentions
fall short. If I had enough self-confdence to talk
to him, I would have. I dont need their help to
tell me when to jump in the shark tank.
Even my mother has taken a stance on this
whole lack of a boyfriend thing. When I started
college, my mom predicted that I would have a
steady boyfriend by junior year. I am now a senior.
Where is that steady boyfriend Im supposed to
be dating for two years now? She has even said
that I should attempt speed dating. Her rationale
behind the idea was that I could rule out 40
WHAT A GIRL
I
guys at once. Tanks mom, like I dont do that
enough on a daily basis already. Teres something
degrading in my mind about going to speed dating.
Its like youre giving up searching for yourself. I
dont think Im to that point yet.
Im a work in progress. I might be the last
person to tell myself that, but I am. I dont know
what I want out of life, and I dont know what
to change to get it. If it gets to the point where
Im alone in the end, I guess Ill have two choices:
Accept it, or start liking me for me. I think Ill
choose the latter.
WANTS
Jp
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