BUREAU OF INTELLIGENCE ADMINISTRATION

MEMORANDUM
Thursday, April 19, 2012

PROTECTION ORDER FOR VITAL-AT-MATURITY INTELLIGENCE ASSET (VAMIA) #432, Lead Agent: J.C. Seehusen, VAMIA Protection Dept.

Subject: , white male known primarily as 5 feet and 11.5 inches in height, 151 pounds.

, DOB

Background: The subject has been determined by the Bureau of Intelligence Administration (BIA) to be a vital-at-maturity intelligence asset (VAMIA). This means that the subject, if he remains alive, vital, and healthy throughout the next 23 and a half years, will yield an important piece of intelligence at the age of 50. This assessment is based on a series of neuromagnetic pulse returns from the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs; unfortunately, the BSAs returns are not yet advanced enough to decipher exactly what kind of benefit the subject may be to the nation in the year 2036. Still, BIA protocol requires that measures be taken to protect VAMIAs, with minimal overt intervention. Information gathered from reconnaissance missions has led the BIA to conclude that the subject poses several threats to his own health, mostly through compulsive overeating and abuse of alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine. Journals recovered fr jects d records retrieved from the offices of former counselors in , and , suggest that the subject suffers from a severe case of perf low s teem, and loneliness, and copes with these diseases with the aforementioned destructive behaviors. The subject has attempted on numerous occasions to address his eating problems, usually through a series of restrictions on his food intake manifested through rules, diets, and plans, mostly self-generated. None of these efforts have succeeded, ultimately, and may have even exacerbated bingeing, given that the unyielding nature of the subjects restrictions gave him the impression that the eve of each diet would be his last living opportunity to eat foods outside of his dietary parameters. This is often referred to in diet literature as the last supper phenomenon. Actions recommended: The BIAs psychologist has concluded that the subject be allowed to eat whatever he want, whenever he wants, but with certain principles in mind. (These are different from the subjects own commandments in that they are not rules to be abided by, or else; rather, they are only nonbinding suggestions, ideals to strive for.) 1. 2. 3. 4. Eat when hungry. Eat while sitting down, preferably at a table. Do not eat while distracted, e.g., eating at ones desk at work. Complete at least thirty focused minutes of work before breaking for lunch; feelings of guilt may otherwise interfere with enjoyment of meal. 5. Abstain from eating during emotional conversation or rumination; these often result in meals that feel as though they were missed.

We have implanted a BHKZ-313 model neuron stimulator into the subjects frontal lobe to help align his actions with these principles. Unfortunately, the BHKZ-313 is only a prototype, with limited success. The subject obeys some principles on some days, while on others, they are ignored outright. The first principle eat while your hungry has seemed especially difficult for the subject to follow. BIA technicians are currently at work to iron out the flaws of the BHKZ-333.

In the meantime, the BIA director has mandated that the subjects oral intake be monitored daily, recorded, and drafted into a report by the following morning. This report, the VAMIA Oral Consumption Log, is to detail the subjects consumption of every substance considered food, as well as any substance containing caffeine (even in minute amounts), alcohol, sugar, or nicotine. The reports will also note, for each instance of consumption: The time that consumption began. Any other individuals present to witness the consumption. The subjects hunger, on a scale of 1 to 10. The subjects reason and/or justification for consumption, if hunger is less than an 8. The subjects thoughts during consumption (retrieved by a 100 nanometer KKQ-11 neural intake).

Finally, each instance of consumption will feature an assessment from the BIA reporter as to the subjects progress in freeing himself from the shackles of his disease. The reason for this thorough monitoring and reporting, according to the BIA director, would be to keep tabs on the subject in case of a spike in self-destructive behavior, in which case more drastic measures may be introduced. But the BIA director also stressed that capturing the subject and placing him under BIA care would be undesirable, as it may have a spoiling effect on the intelligence to be gained from him at the point of maturity. The BIA psychologist has also recommended that the subject should have unlimited access to one forbidden food per week; that is, the foods which the subject intensely desires, and to which he may have some nostalgic connection, but has not permitted himself to purchase in the past few years. We have ascertained from KKQ-11 readings that the following foods can be considered candidates Cracklin Oat Bran cereal. Grilled cheese sandwiches (sharp cheddar, buttered bread) Crumbly chocolate chip cookies, Publix brand. Fried chicken pieces, especially breasts. Glazed donuts.

and therefore, with the aid of the BHKZ-313, the BIA will compel the subject to loosen his restrictions and allow himself to a forbidden food. The ultimate hope is that these forbidden foods will lose their allure once they are consumed over and over again. The ultimate goal of the BIA is to improve and protect the health of the subject, and this plan will be modified, if necessary, to further that end. This order SIGNED this 19th day of April, 2012,

J.C SEEHUSEN Special Agent VAMIA Protection Department Bureau of Intelligence Affairs