(Zip line sound) (Ruffling leaves) Oh my Gaaaa- (Massive crash sound) -- Three Hours Earlier -Dave to Bridget. Go Dave.

How do you feel about going out on the four oclock tour? I groaned inwardly. He knew how I felt about going out on the four oclock tour. He knew that everyone loathed the four oclock tour. Sounds good Dave, I lied in the most cheerful voice I could manage. I groaned as I realized that this would mean having to stay late for at least an hour. It was my sixth day in a row working. I had been at work since eight in the morning, and I was ready to go home. In theory, being a zip line tour guide should never get boring. It does. The monotonous clipping and unclipping of carabineers is broken up only by snippets of the same conversation playing on constant loop. (Different voices, slightly overlapping) Are you sure this harness is on properly? How long have you been working here? Where is the next zip line? It is very peaceful up here. How many zip lines are there? Next time I will try to keep my eyes open! And, my personal favorite, They pay you to do this? As a zip line tour guide at Mount Sunapee I heard those lines over and over, day after day. With each passing tour, my urge to forget to clip myself onto the zip line grew. Dave calling me onto the four oclock tour- a tour regularly not offered- was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me that dayor so I thought. Four oclock rolled around and I was still sulking. I put on a happy face and went to greet our guests and give them the standard safety talk. (Monotone, somewhat in the background) Welcome to Mount Sunapee, my name is Bridget and I will be your tour guide this afternoon. Please fill out the safety waivers on the table in front of you As I walked over to the closet to get my radio, I was sizing up the group. It was a group of six, all in their mid-twenties. (Fade in and out)

 Step through the leg loops and pull up on your waist band All three of the women were scared. Two of the men were scared. (Fade in and out) No smoking, no texting, no talking on your cell phone, no inverting This was going to be a long tour. I heaved the twenty-five pound safety pack over my shoulder as we made our way to the chairlift. I shared a commiserating look with my fellow tour guide as our guests made crude comments and inappropriate jokes. Eight short minutes later we found ourselves at the top of the chairlift, ready to start our tour. We walked over to the first platform and climbed the cargo net to the top. I clipped and unclipped carabineers eighteen times- only one hundred and fifty two clips to go. (Clipping noise) As I was explaining our automatic breaking system, I noticed that all of the guests were hugging the tree. They were all under the misguided impression that their arms were a safer means of staying attached to the tree than the carabineers that they were clipped into were. I finished my second safety speech with a painfully generic, half-hearted: See you on the other side! (Zip line noise) No one would go off the platform. Everyone was too scared. Twenty minutes later, I was still on the second platform by myself, cursing my decision to come to work. Finally someone worked up the courage to go. He came into the platform howling various curse words. As I clipped him onto the tree and off of the zip line, he turned to me, That was fun! I stared at him blankly. I had never known a seemingly endless string of curse words yelled in distress to be an expression of fun. I gave the all clear to my partner and waited an excruciating ten minutes between each person as they each hesitated before coming down in a similar fashion. After what seemed like lifetimes, everyone was finally on the second platform. One down, seven to go, I thought to myself gloomily as I jumped off the platform. --Two Hours (of the same thing) Later-These last two lines are the longest and the fastest of all of our zip lines. We are going to have all of you cannonball up to make sure you make it all the way to the platform. The end was in sight. Only two zip lines were left. I clipped myself on to the zip line, got a big running start, and jumped off the platform. I was flying through the air at approximately twenty-five miles an hour when I realized something was wrong. I was at the end of the line and there was no break.

(Zip line sound) (Ruffling leaves) Oh my Gaaaa- (Massive crash sound) I smashed into the tree at full force. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I kept repeating over and over as I stood paralyzed with shock, with a terrible pain down my side. Why was there no break on the line? There was always a break on the line. Are you okay? Another guide, Chris, who had been coming to close the course saw was happened and rushed up the cargo net. He looked at the line and realized that the break was clipped to the tree. One of the construction workers who had built the course had been fixing the break and accidentally left it clipped to the tree. Chris unclipped the break and we gave the other guide the all clear. After ten minutes of hesitation, the first guest came down. Worst. Tour. Ever.