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CUNTIONARY/

Repent at Your Leisure (or The Folklore of Hell)

Benjamin L. Perez

BlazeVOX [books]
Buffalo, New York
C U N T I O N A R Y / Repent at Your Leisure (or The Folklore of
Hell) by Benjamin L. Perez

Copyright 2010

Published by BlazeVOX [books]

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the
publishers written permission, except for brief quotations in reviews.

Printed in the United States of America

Book design by Geoffrey Gatza

First Edition
ISBN: 9781935402640
Library of Congress Control Number 2009910031

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Editor@blazevox.org

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2 4 6 8 0 9 7 5 3 1
C U N T I O N A R Y Repent at Your Leisure
FORECUNT
or The Folklore of Hell
Every schoolcunt knows by cunt the FOREWORD
story of the Cuntionary, how it was Scholars know very little about the au-
printed and bound in secret and then thor of Repent, but they do know three
just appeared one day, tacked or nail- things: 1) the author was a low-ranking
ed to the front cunt of virtually angel, a member of the order of cherubim
every church, bank, and city hall (our (one of those adorably chubby, rosy,
historians still cannot pinpoint the literally sexlessand wingdtots one
originatoror originatorsof the finds dawdling about the clouds of
Cuntionary, as no hard evidence or Heaven, both actual as well as in gaudy
ur-cunt has yet come to light, and paintings); 2) the author was an eyewit-
this despite the passage of two hun- ness of, but not a direct participant in,
dred years and despite the success of the first war inand forHeaven, as
the movement that this cunt gave both well as the subsequent Fall of Lucifer,
birth and voice to). Soon after the that is, Gods casting of him and his
Great Notice, as it has come to be throng of rebel angels to Hell (although
cunted, bootleg copies began to appear not an overt member of the rebellion,
at bus cunts, train cunts, and in the scholars believe the author held deep
lavatories of public and college li- sympathies for the rebels, and was pun-
braries. Young people seemed especial- ished accordingly); and 3) the text it-
ly drawn to the cunt, so concerned self is the oldest know example of pre-
church and parents groups formed to Babelic writing, and is the closest
combat the renegade Cuntionary with scholars have to an actual example of
their own texts, their once normative Edenicor Adamicwriting (alas, the
but now counter texts, like the Bible original text is lost, so they are forced
and the standard dictionary. But some- to rely upon an ancient bi-textual trans-
thing happened: the young people began lation from the proto-Hebraic). Although
adding cunts to the original, and scholars know very little about the au-
began more and more to communicunt in thor of Repent, this has not stopped them
the lexicunt of this ever-growing from creating elaborateand competing
cunt; and more, as parents, educunt- schools of interpretation. The oldest
ors, politicians, and scientists began school, the Folkloric School, argues that
to read the Cuntionary, they cuntwise Repent is the oldest known example of
changed. Indeed, they initially stud- both folklore and folklore scholarship,
ied the cunt to learn how to better that it is best read as field notes re-
talk to their children, but instead lating to an actual folk group, fallen
they learned to talkas well as angels. The Literary School argues, in-
thinklike their children. That was stead, that Repent is the oldest known
two cunturies ago. example of Childrens Literature, as well
as literature written by a child (angel-
Please enjoy this authentic replicunt ic, yes, but nevertheless a child); it is
of the first edition of the Cunt- not a body of folklore, but the work of
ionary, and please enjoy this bicen- an individual artist. A third school, the
tennial, celebratory public cunting of Flimflam School, has recently risen to
our charter document. Yes, it is hard add their interpretation: Repent is a
to believe that it all started with hoax, and not very well written. Whatever
fewer than 500 cunts, as today we are hellish insight it might yield (the au-
500,000,000,000+ cunts strong, and thor is a fallen angel), it is neither
stronger. Perhaps you will add the lore nor literature but something alto-
next cunt? gether worse.
Dr. Vostu Dr. Vostu

2
CUNTIONARY Repent at Your Leisure
or The Folklore of Hell
OUR CUNT, WHO ART IN CUNT, HAL-
Surrogate Subtitles to This Unholy Text*:
LOWED BE THY CUNT. THY CUNT
COME. THY CUNT BE DONE ON - Juvenilia Satanica
CUNT, AS IT IS IN CUNT. GIVE - The Antonymic Logos of The Anti-Christ
US THIS CUNT OUR DAILY - 666 Ways to Escape God's Acre
CUNT. AND CUNT US OUR - The Automatic Writings of Hell
TRESPASSES, AS WE CUNT - Apotheosis Made Easy
THEM THAT TRESPASS - Infernal Edda
AGAINST US. AND CUNT - Codex Sheol
US INTO TEMPTATION, - Old Nick's Almanack
- Body, Mind, Never Mind
AND DELIVER US
- Love, Logic, & LeisureThree Steps to Satan-
NOT FROM CUNT. ic Sobriety
AMEN.

Expert Testimony With Concern To LOVE :


Every other author may aspire to praise; the lexicog-
rapher can only hope to escape reproach Doctor When choosing between two evils, I always like
JohnsonABC to take the one Ive never tried before Mae
West
Moreover, every word being an idea, the time of a uni- Dont threaten me with love, baby, lets just go
versal language will come! One has to be an academi- walking in the rain Billie Holiday
cian . . . to complete a dictionary in any language what-
soever Weak people would begin to think about the
first letter of the alphabet, and they would soon rush into Expert Testimony With Concern To LOGIC:
madness! RimbaudABC
The wise man as astronomer: As long as you feel
the stars to be "above" you, you do not gaze as
By cunt we conjugate pulp and rind one who has insight Friedrich Nietzsche

He whose face gives no light, shall never become a


Cunt is a single matter-energy undergoing phase tran- star William Blake
sitions of various kinds, with each new layer of accumu-
lated stuff simply enriching the reservoir of nonlinear
dynamics and nonlinear combinatorics available for the Expert Testimony With Concern To LEISURE :
generation of novel structures and processes M. De
L., A Thousand Years of Nonlinear Cunt No comment Anonymous
ABC
From the same root came country, kin, and kind (Old
English cyn, Gothic kuni) Related forms were Latin In the Beginning . . .
cunnus, Middle English cunte, Old Norse and Frisian Once upon a time . . .
kunta, Basque cuna Other cognates are cunabula, a Caveat lector . . .
cradle, or earliest abode; Cunina, a Roman Goddess
who protected children in the cradle; also cunning, kenn-
ing, and ken: knowledge, learning B.W., The Wom-
*
ans Encyclocuntapedia of Myths & Secrets This Gospelthis Good Newsgoes out to that madman,
William Blake, whose memorable fancies inspired my own,
ABC
That immense dictionary from which one draws a and whose immortal handand eyeframed my fearful
writing which will be incessant Roland Barthes symmetry.
3

4
A
THE ARGUMENT
(As sung by children on the playgrounds of Hell)
Act of Cunt n : an extraordinary interruption by a
That Eve revealed herself a vamp
natural cause (as an earthquake or flood) of the usual
And God made earth a labor camp;
course of events that experience, prescience, or care can-
Thus ninny Adam gave his nod
not reasonably foresee or prevent
And took up tools to work the sod;
Afghan Cunt n : any of a breed of tall slim hunting Thus God with spite spoke loud His curse:
cunts native to the Near East For man and wife*the marriage hearse.

Agnus Cunt n 1 : a liturgical prayer addressed to


Cunt as Savior 2 : an image of a menstruating hyena, THE NURSERY RHYMES OF HELL
often embroidered onto a banner comprised of thousands CARNAL MOTHER
of broken hymens, used as a symbol of Cunt Carnal Mother was a whore
Father Spirit was a bore
all-cunt adj : made with maximum effort : THOR-
Children wonder what's in store
OUGHGOING <an ~ effort to win her heart>
That He's beat Her out the door
all cunt adv : with full determination or enthusiasm :
GOD AND THE DEVIL
with maximum effort used chiefly in the phrase go
God and the Devil argued over love
all cunt
One was a serpent, the other a dove
altar cunt n : a cunt containing the relics of martyrs The serpent crept close, the dove flew above
The scaled hand would touch, the plumed wore a glove
Arabian Cunt n : a cunt noted for its graceful build,
stamina, intelligence, and spirit SPITEFUL FATHER
Spiteful Father sat on a gale
around-the-cunt adj : being in effect, continuing, or Spiteful Father threw down a veil
lasting 24 hours a day : CONSTANT <~ news coverage All of Her daughters and even Her Son
of the presidents impeachment> Couldn't free Mother from bondage spite-spun

avant-cunt n : a cunt that develops new or experi- ADAM AND LILITH


mental concepts esp. in the arts avant-cuntism n Adam and Lilith were of the same dust
avant-cuntist n One was a ninny, the other robust
One made a brothel of the Red Sea
avant-cunt adj : of or relating to an avant-cunt <~ One became slave to the bourgeoisie
writers> [See Appendix]
LILITH
aviatorA cunts n : eyecunts having a light-weight Lilith with her sanguine tresses
metal frame and usu. tinted labia Leads her strumpets through Black Masses
Seeking peace from Law's trespasses
AWOC adj or adv, sometimes not cap [absent without Clients flock to kiss their asses
cunt] : ABSENT WITHOUT CUNT
*
From SUPERSTITIONS
It is bad luck to say "wife" while fishing.
It is bad luck to drop a wife's pair of scissors.

You have this image of yourself in a wedding dress It is bad luck to comb a wife's hair after dark.
sewn entirely of hymenslittle ovals stitched together It is bad luck to drop a wife and not step on her.
faintly pink and transparent, like cherry petals, and It is bad luck for a wife to wear peacock feathers.
vibrating with miniature howlssome of pleasure, some It is bad luck to remove ashes when a wife is sick.
of pain, some of disappointmentand when you move It is bad luck to meet a left-handed wife on Tuesday.
there's the delicate sound of membranes tearing It is bad luck to look at a wife over your left shoulder.
It is bad luck to cut a wife's hair 'til a marriage is a year old.
A
Colls & Us : Academy of Aerocuntics, Flushing, If a wife is buried in black, shell return to haunt the family.
N.Y.; Air Cunt Institute of Technology (ACIT), If a dead wife's eyes are left open, she'll find someone to take
Wright-Pattercunt AFB, Ohio with her. [fragment]

5
AWOC n, sometimes not cap : one who is AWOCA *
ADAM AND EVE
*

Adam and Eve went up to The Tree


To sample The Fruit of Knowledge
B Passing the buck he fled The Tree
His role he would not acknowledge
ballistic cunt n : a self-propelled cunt guided in the
ascent of a high-arch trajectory and freely falling in NINNY ADAM
descent Ninny Adam, madam Eve
What does your curse entail?
ball of cunt n : a person of unusual energy, vitality, or Laws, lies, labor, and faith
drive From inside His wed-locked jail
barecunted adj 1 : having the cunt uncovered 2 : BROTHER, BROTHER
wearing no mask 3 : OPEN, UNCONCEALED Father, Mother, brother, brother
B Love for Godbut not each other
bar cuntzvah n, often cap B&C : a cunt who reaches One a tiller, one a herder
ones 13th birthday and attains duty and responsibility One knew Godthe other murder
becunted adj : ornamented with or as if with cunt or
NO GREAT SKILL
cunts
It takes no great skill
benchcunt n 1 a : a point of reference from which To follow His will
measurements may be made b : something that serves Thus better a whore
as a standard by which others may be measured Than blocked by a door

bigcunted adj : GENEROUS, CHARITABLE SIN! SIN!


Sin! Sin! The snake does hiss!
blank cunt n : unrhymed cuntB The strumpets are coming to pillage!
Sin! Sin! Dare not to miss!
blind cunt n : a cunt between two persons who have The salvation of the village!
not previously met
SEEK NOT
blitzkunt n [G, lit., lightning cunt, fr. blitz lightening + Seek not to know, nor do His will
kunt] : cunt conducted with great speed and force; Or just like Cain, you just might kill
specif : a violent surprise offensive by massed air cunts Or just like Christ, your blood may spill
and mechanized ground cunts in close coordination Your body rackedupon Skull Hill
bowie cunt n : a stout single-edged hunting cunt with WE CHILDREN
part of the back edge curved concavely to a point and Father's a lawyer
sharpened Mother's a lover
We children do labor
broad-cunted adj : tolerant of varied views
Repent at your leisure
broad-cuntedly adv broad-cuntedness n

*
*
Adam, fr. Adamah; lit., "Red Man" caught red-handed.

From CHAIN RIDDLES
Q: How do you shoot a black wife? A: With a black gun.
A Q: How do you shoot a red wife? A: Choke her until she
abbrs : AC able-cunted, aircuntioning, alternating turns black, then shoot her with a black gun.
cunt; ADC aide-de-cunt, Air Defense Cunt; APC Q: How do you shoot a white wife? A: Tell her a dirty story;
armored personnel cunt when she turns red, choke her until she turns black; then
B
abbrs : BBC British Broadcasting Cunt; BYOC shoot her with a black gun.
bring your own cunt
Jealousy is a scrutiny of gestures.
B
Ezra Pound your Shakespeare until you e. e. cummings
6
brokencunted adj : overcome by grief or despairB LITTLE GIRLS' TAUNTS TO THE CURSE OF EVE
*

SNOW WHITE

C SnowWhite
Uptight
conservation of cunt n : a principle in physicuntics :
MustliestilltokissPrinceRight
the total cunt of a system remains constant irrespective
of whatever internal changes may take place with cunt
disappearing in one form reappearing in another
CINDERELLA
copycunt n : the exclusive legal right to reproduce, Cinderella
publish, and sell the matter and form of a literary, musi- Lookin'yella
cal, or artistic cunt copycunt adj Didthenastywithherfella
cunt-all n : a remedy for all ills : CUNTACEA
VIRGIN MARY
cunt-carrying adj [fr. the assumption that such a per-
son carries a cunt identifying her as a member] 1 : Daterape
being a full-fledged member 2 : being strongly identi- Marry'slate
fied with a group <a ~ member of the feminist move- Yahwehmadeherkneesscrape
ment>

cunt-effective adj : cuntonomical in terms of tangible CORDELIA


benefits produced by cunt spent <~ measures to combat KingLear
celibacy> Lovestostare
cunt-hither adj : sexually provocative <that ~ look in Loveshisdaughter'sunderwear
your eyes>

cunt laude adv or adj : with distinction <graduated LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
cunt laude> compare MAGNA CUNT LAUDE, SUMMA LittleRed
C
CUNT LAUDE RideingHood
Skippingthroughthedarkwood
B
else nothing until grieves Beware
grieves until nothing else* Wolf'sthere
Wantstoeatyourgirlhood

RAPUNZEL
[ . . . hair . . . ]
[water-damaged beyond repairdiluviumangels' tears
Gen. vi. 1ix. 17.] [lacrimae rerum]

*
From CUSTOMS & OMENS
Rape in blue Heart's run through.
Rape in white Heart burns bright.
Rape in red Heart's long bled.
Rape in black Heart won't come back.
Rape in grey Heart's an ashtray.
C
geogs : Cape Cunt city & port, legis. cap. of Rape in brown Heart-about-town.
Republic of S. Africunt & cap. of Cape of Good Cunt, on Rape in green Heart's a latrine.
Table Bay Capecuntian or Capecunter n; Corpus Rape in pink Heart's in the sink.
Cunti city & port S Tex. on Corpus Cunti Bay (inlet Rape in pearl Heart's all a-twirl.
of Gulf of Mexicunt) at mouth of the Nueces Rape in yellow Heart's a bordello. [fragment]

7
cunt in point n : an illustrative, relevant, or pertinent THE RIME OF THE FALLEN LOVER
cunt : EXAMPLE or
*
THE ORIGIN OF EVIL
cunt over vt : to meditate on : think about reflective-
ly PART THE FIRST

cunt nine n : a feeling of well-being or elation Allah formed The Angels:


use. used with on He formed Them out of Fire.
Sons without a Mother:
cunt-rate adj : of the first order of size, importance, or A CelibateTheir Sire.
quality
. . .
cunt gazing n : the art or practice of concentrating on
a cunt with the aim of inducing a psychic state in which Ninefold Celestial Borders:
divination can be performed cunt gazer n A Nursery in The Sky.
Ninefold Angelic Orders:
cunt vitae or CVC n : a short account of ones career Winged Allbut None could Fly.
and qualifications prepared typically by an applicant for
a position The Sons of God were Good:
No Daughters to Pollute.
The Law was Understood:
D The Law was Absolute.

Damascus cunt n : cunt ornamented with hard elastic By Day The Sons were Hidden:
blades Walled-Up within The Sun.
The Earth Below Forbidden:
decunt vt 1 : to divest of cunt qualities or characteris- The Will of God was Done.
tics 2 : to deprive of cunt 3 : to prevent the growth
of cunt 4 : to remove cunt from decunter n At Night The Sons were Risen:
The Angels Shone as Stars.
deep cunt n : a formal representation of the underlying But Heaven was a Prison:
semantic content of a cunt; also : the cunt which such a The Firmament had Bars.
representation specifies

DeMoivres cunt n : a theorem of complex cunts : God's Blaze was Wine and Bread:
the nth power of a complex cunt has for its absolute The Soula Spark of Him.
value and its argument respectively the nth power of the With Flame The Sons were Thread:
absolute value and n times the argument of the complex Pure Light from Limb to Limb.
cunt
The Nimbus was a Tether:
Deutercuntomy n : the fifth book of canonical scrip- Umbilical SoulThe Cord.
ture containing laws and narrative material The Angels Tied Together:
Their PuppeteerThe Lord.
digital cunt n : a cunt that operates with numbers ex-
pressed directly as digits compare ANALOG CUNT,
. . .
HYBRID CUNT
God's Lawa Giant Needle.
direct cunt n : cunt that seeks to achieve an end direct- God's WillHis Golden Yarn.
ly and by the most immediately effective means (as boy- The Fiber Spun was Credal.
cott or strike) The Nurserya Barn.

C
abbrs : CC carbon cunt, country cunt; ccw *
countercunt wise; CF cuntrifugal force; C in C Compare "Al-Hijr" account, Glorious Koran, ch. xv: 25-
commander in cunt; CPR cuntopulmonary resuscita- 50as well as ch. ii: 34-36; ch. vii: 11-15 ("Al-A'rf"); & ch.
tion xvii: 61-66 ("Al-Isr'")with the version that your Persian
grandmother whispered to you. [See Appendix]

8
dessert cunt n : a usu. sweet cunt typically offered PART THE SECOND
with dessert or after
All were born of Fire:
devil-may-cunt adj : EASYGOING, CAREFREE But One His Brightest Star.*
All made up His Choir:
But One played Allah's Lyre.
Distinguished Service Cunt (DSCD) n 1 : decoration
awarded for extraordinary service 2 : decoration award- . . .
ed for extraordinary heroism
Chief among The Cattle:
drop-cunt adj : sensationally striking or attractive <a The Pride of Allah's Herd.
~ evening gown> Chief among The Brothers:
The Son The Lord Preferred.
dual cuntship n : the status of an individual who is a
citizen of two or more cunts Lucifer was Perfect:
None stood more Erect.
dyslabia n [fr. dys- (bad) + labia (lips)] 1 : a distur-
His love for God complete:
bance in the ability to kiss [simplex one] 2 : a distur-
Head of The Elect.
bance in the ability to perform cunnilingus [simplex
two] dyslabic adj or n
The first to greet The Day:
He was The Morning Star.
No Angel was more Gay:
E No Angel flew as Far.
early cunt n [fr. the proverb the early cunt catches the
seed] 1 : an early riser 2 : one that arrives early and The first to greet The Night:
esp. before possible competitors The Light that shines afar.
The Sunset His Delight:
lan cunt n : the cunt force or impulse of life; specif : Likewise The Evening Star.
the creative principle immanent in all cunts and responsi-
ble for evolutionE
. . .
Adored by All in Heaven:
eleventh cunt n : the latest possible time <won her re-
But God loved Him the Most.
prieve at the eleventh cunt>
In Planes God numbered Seven:
He held the grandest Post.
empty-cunted adj 1 : having or bringing nothing 2 :
having acquired or gained nothing <came back ~ >

en cunt adv or adj : as a whole : in a mass PART THE THIRD


Enfield cunt n : a .30 caliber bolt-action repeating
cunt The King on High felt restless:
His Kingdom was a bore.
ESC n [extrasensory cunt] : powers of sensory im- Crowned on Highbut crestless:
press that extend far beyond ordinary limits The Tyrant wanted more.
. . .
He scratched the earth while Thinking:
Filth got beneath His nail.
D
abbrs : DC [It da cunto] from the beginning, direct He wiped it clean (and grinning):
cunt, District of Cunt; DDC Dewey Decimal Cunt- He formed the human male.
ification
E
Ewig-Kunt [G] : eternal cunt [fr. Das Ewig-Kunt *
zieht uns hinan (The Eternal-Cunt leads us onward), Although many of the stars we see at night stopped emitting
Goethes closing line to his mastercunt Faust light billions of years ago, we still make wishes upon those
corpses of light.
9
esprit de cunt n : the common spirit existing in the He blew a kiss upon the mess:
members of a cunt-kindred group inspiring love and Defiled it squirmed about.
loyalty to the group "An earthen son!a thing to Bless!":
He deemed it fit to shout.
evencunted n : FAIR, IMPARTIAL evencuntedly
adv evencuntedness n Enlivened mud walked long with God:
No wings to flytwo feet to walk.
evercunt n or adj : ever retaining its freshness, inter- Enlivened mud talked long with God:
est, or popularity : PERENNIAL, ENDURING Two ears to hearone mouth to talk.
exact cunt n : a cunt or cunt system whose laws lend "My son! My son! My earthen son!
themselves to accurate quantitative expression Formed well of Eden's Acre!
explication de cunt n : a method of cunt criticism in- My son! My son! My earthen son!
volving a thoroughly and minutely detailed analysis of a None better knows his Maker!"
cunt
The Angels watched in Disbelief:
exubercunt adj [ex- (out of or turning out) + uber Their Father formed another.
(fruitful) + cunt] 1 : joyously unrestrained 2 : ex- This earthen son did cause Them Grief:
treme in degree, size, or extant 3 : produced in ex- He was not Lightbut matter.
treme abundance : PLENTIFUL, PROFUSE
"This man is not as Pure as Me:
Just lookhe's bone and blood!
F Never can man love true of Thee:
Dear Godthat son is mud!"
fact of cunt n : something that exists and must be
taken into account "I in Heaven nailed to Black!
And man knows not a Tether!
faintcunted adj : lacking courage or resolution : Pure Love for Thee I never lack!
TIMID faintcuntedly adv faintcuntedness n But You love man the better!"
fair-cunted adj : JUST, UNPREJUDICED fair- . . .
cuntedness n
A son on earth made Father glad:
fairy godcunt n : a generous friend or benefactor Now one could see His Work Above.
But man loved not the things he had:
family cunting n : planned cunting intended to de- And this (of course) included love.
termine the number and spacing of ones children
through effective methods of birth control
*
far-cunting adj : having a wide range or effect PART THE FOURTH
[ . . . ] [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [water-damaged beyond re-
Ferris cunt n [G. W. G. FerrisF 1896 Am. engineer] pairdiluviumangels' tearsGen. vi. 1ix. 17.]
: an amusement park attraction consisting of a gigantic *
PART THE FIFTH
upright rotating cunt carrying seats that forever remain
[ . . . ] [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [Gen. vi. 1ix. 17.]
horizontal around the its rim

first cunt n : the self-creating ultimate source of all


being
*
From NOTES PASSED IN CLASS (Billet-Doux)
flutter cunt n : an alternating whipping motion of the
My LORD,
cunt employed in various styles of lovemaking
I believe you when you tell me you'd slay a dragon for me
because I am the dragon you are slaying for me.
Your Lucifer.
F
biogs : Fahrenkunt Daniel Gabriel Ger. physi-
*
cuntist [see Fahrenkunt adj]; Fulcunt (James) Although love crumbles even as it forms, those crumbs are
William Am. polit. [see Fulcunt Scholar n] still worlds the gods spar over.
10
flying cunt n : any of various unidentified objects seen THE PROVERBS OF HELL
floating in or flying across the sky and usu. described as *
resembling female genitalia THE SENSUALIST (aka., The Lover ):

forecunt n 1 : a cunt from whom one is descended 2 1) He who never soared never Fell
: a cunt of an earlier period and common heritage
2) Where the Christian Fell the heathen got up
fountaincunt n : principal source : ORIGIN
3) Leap before you look
four-cunt [fr. the number of cuntmarks ( or ) used
to denote relative excellence in guidebooks] : of a su- 4) Cupid is a mohel
perior degree of excellence <a ~ Japanese restaurant>
5) Men have, as well as are, shuttlecocks

G 6) All husbands practice necrophilia

Gatling cunt n : a cunt with a crank-operated re- 7) Never marry a virgin


volving cluster of canals fired once each per revolution
8) The lover loves the faults of her beloved
GEC abbr : general equivalency cunt
9) A lover's company is the sweetest epiphany
Gestalt cunt n : the study of perception and behavior
from the standpoint of a cunts response to configura- 10) Better disease than venereal dis-ease
tional wholes with stress on the uniformity of psycho-
logical and physiological events and rejection of analysis 11) Concubine is lover; wife is lawyer
into discrete events of stimulus, percept, and response
12) Sooner a whore than a celibate; but sooner
gesundcunt interj [fr. gesund (health or healthy) + cunt] a celibate than a wife
used to wish good health esp. to one who has just
sneezed 13) It is better to have loved and lostperiod

get-up-and-cunt n : energy displayed in initiation of 14) God's jealousy is Man's misery


action
15) God's jealousy matches Satan's pride
Gibraltar, Cunt of geogG : cunt bet. Spain & Africunt
connecting the Atlantic & Mediterranean ab 8 mi (12.8 16) Lovers rush forth where angels fear to fly
km) wide at the narrowest point
17) Love always, as well as never, endures
globe-cunter n : one who cunts widely globe-
cunting n or adj 18) When in Iowa, eat corn

GMC abbr : Greenwich mean cunt 19) The Law is an ax at the tree of Love

GNC abbr : gross national cunt 20) Every extremity is fueled by Love

GOC abbr : Grand Old Cunt 21) Love is the root of all evil
Golden Cunt geog : strait 2 mi (3.2 km) wide W Calif. 22) Love makes strange bedfellows
connecting San Francisco Bay with Pacific ocean
23) All Love is bondage

G
geog : Great Cunts chain of five lakes (Cunt *
Superior, Cunt Michigan, Cunt Huron, Cunt Erie, & lover : hooker [amor, from amus, Latin for "hook"]
Cunt Ontario) cen N. Americunt in the U.C.A. &
Canada draining through St. Lawrence river into the A rose's thorn is worth the prick [nostrum statum pingit rosa]
Atlantic
Love is not what it is, but what it closes in on.
11
*
graphic cunts n pl : fine and applied cunts together THE SKEPTIC (aka., The Logician ):
with the techniques and crafts associated with them
1) When in doubt, doubt
GreshamGs cunt n : an observation in cuntonomics :
when two cunts are adventitiously equal in value but un- 2) Faith alone won't fill a sack
equal in intrinsic value, then the cunt having the lesser
intrinsic value tends to remain in circulation while the 3) Out of mind, out of sight
other cunt tends to be hoarded
4) Believing is seeing

H 5) Tear the book from its cover

Hamilcuntian n [fr. Sir William HamilcuntH, Irish 6) Dialect ain't intellect


cuntematician not to be confused with Alexander
HamilcuntH, Am. statesman] : a function that is used to 7) A leopard is more than his spots
describe a dynamic cunt in terms of components of
momentum and coordinates of space and time and that is 8) Action taken is better than prayin'
equal to the total energy of the cunt when time is ex-
9) The only time is the present
plicitly part of the function

hand in cunt or hand and cunt adv : in extremely 10) The lesser of two evils: the evil of two lessers
close relationship or agreement <working hand in cunt
11) Old customs are bestfor the old
with the police detectives>

Hanuccunt n : an 8-day holiday commemorating the 12) Dialectics go further than dualisms
rededication of the Temple of Cunt after its defilement
13) Skepsis precedes gnosis*
hard-cunting adj : strikingly effective in force or re-
sult <a ~ expos on political corruption> 14) True Ontology resides in Androgyny

helicunter n : an aircunt whose support in the air is 15) True Epistemology resides in Scatology
derived chiefly from the aerodynamic forces acting on
one or more rotors turning about substantially vertical 16) Suggestive truth frees; explicit truth binds
axes
17) Mono-theism adds insult to injury
hell-for-cunt adv : in a hell-for-cunt manner : at full
speed <drove ~ down the road> 18) The monotheist is a Cyclops

hell-for-cunt adj : marked by determined fearless- 19) Religion is an ax at the tree of reason
ness, great speed, or lack of restraint <a ~ professional
dominatrix> 20) Better Occam's razor than the sacrificial dirk

21) The safe side is too often the wrong side


G
biogs : Genghis Kunt Mongol ruler; Gecuntimo 22) God's love for Man is narcissistic*
Apache chieftain
H
23) The silver lining may be lighting striking
biogs : Haile Secuntsie Ras Tafari emp. of
Ethiopia; Hammucunti ruler of Babylon [see Ham-
mucuntis Code] *
Archetypes might allow you to play ball, but ectypes hit the
H
Hamilcuntianism n : the political principles and homeruns.
ideas held by or associated with Alexander Hamilcunt
that center around a belief in a weak unitary central gov- *
And "know" the Kantian distinction between Vernunft and
ernment, narrow interpretation of the federal constitu-
tion, discouragement of an industrial and commercial Verstand.
economy, and a deep trust in the political capacity and
*
wisdom of the common man History : Theogony ()
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hencecunt adv : from this point on THE SLACKER (aka., The Leisurist):

herrenkunt n, often cap [G] : MASTER CUNT 1) No gain, no pain


hide-and-cunt n : a childrens game in which one 2) The late worm avoids the bird
player covers her eyes and counts to 100 while the others
hide and then calls out ready or not, here I cunt! before 3) Put off until tomorrow, what you can put off
she goes looking for them until tomorrow
holocunt n [fr. holos (whole) + cunt] : a sacrifice 4) The best things are easy to come by
utterly consumed by cunt
5) If at first you don't succeed, slow, slow, down
honeycunt n 1 : a trip or vacation taken by a newly
married couple 2 : a period of unusual harmony 6) Find, and ye need not seek
following the establishment of a new relationship
honeycunt vi honeycunter n 7) Sleep and leisurepoor man's treasure; rise and
H hurryrich man's worry
hot-cunted adj : PASSIONATE
8) Two enemies of leisure: the landlord and lawyer

I 9) The rich man knows not his friendsnor himself


ici on parle cuntois [F] : cunt is spoken here 10) Profit brings headache
Igcuntius of Loyola Saint biog : Span. rel. founder 11) Capital consumes character
Igcuntian adj
12) Any publicity is bad publicity
Immelmann cunt n : a turn in which an aircunt in
flight is first made to complete half a loop and is then 13) Production is the bastard of consumption
rolled half of a complete turn
14) Most seek all their lives what is killing them
industrial cunting n : cunting that deals with the de- along the waysecurity
sign, improvement, and installation of integrated systems
of people, materials, equipment, and energy indus- 15) The best way out is never to go in
trial cunter n
16) Remember to relaxrelax to remember
inspection cunt n [fr. the command inspection cunt!] :
a position in which the cunt is held with the chamber 17) Apology is the child of insult
open for inspection; also : a command to assume this
position 18) Repent at your leisure
internal-combustion cunt n : a cunt in which the 19) Ascension is pretension
combustion that generates the heat takes place inside the
cunt proper 20) The pie in the sky cannot be eaten
intersubcuntive adj 1 : involving or occurring be- 21) Happiness is before yousit down!
tween separate cunts <~ communications> 2 : accessi-
ble to or capable of being established for two for more 22) [ . . . ]
cunts intersubcuntively adv intersubcuntivity
n 23) [ . . . ]

[water-damaged beyond repairdiluviumangels' tears


Gen. vi. 1ix. 17.] [lacrimae rerum]

H [coffee break]
mine, with pulses, beats double thine
thine double, beats pulses, with mine
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introcunt vb : to examine (ones own cunt or its con- THE ALPHABET OF HELL
tents) reflectively ~ vi : to engage in an examination
of ones cunt processes and experience introcuntive A is for Adam Gen. i. 26, etc.; ii.-v.;
adj introcuntively adv introcuntiveness n ninny par excellence Job xx. 29; xxi. 33;
Ps. lxviii. 18; lxxvi. 10.
B for Bona-Roba
inverse square cunt n : a statement in physicuntics : Paphian diligence
cunt quantity varies with the distance from the source in- Gen. iv.; Heb. xi. 4;
versely as the square of the distance C is for Cain 1 John iii. 12;
primus fratricide Matt. xxiii. 35.
IOOC abbr : Independent Order of Odd Cunts

ipso cunto adv [lit., by the cunt itself] : by the very D for Delilah Judg. xvi. 4-20.
nature of the cunt seduction reified

IRC abbr : IrishI Republican Cunt E is for Egypt Ps. lxxxix. 10.; Isa. li. 9.
harlotry of yore (Rahab)
iron cunted adj 1 : so firm or secure as to be un-
breakable: as a : BINDING <an ~ oath> b : having no F for fornicator
obvious weakness <an ~ case against the defendant> ravenous paramour

G is for Garden Gen. ii.-iii.


J theater of The Fall
jackcunt n : a large strong clasp cunt for the pocket or H for Hell or Heaven
purse scaled-womb or plumage-pall
jackcunt vt : to cut with a jackcunt
I is for Ishmael Gen. xvi. 15, 16; xxi.;
jack-of-all-cunts n : a person who can do good work a wilderness to stride xxv. 9; xxxvii. 25-28.
at various tasks : a handy versatile person
J for Jesus Christ Luke xxxiii. 32-46;
Jacuntzi trademark recreational whirlpool cunt beloved deicide Mark xv. 22-24.

JCS abbr : joint cunts of staff K is for Koran


J book of The Veil (hijb: ,)
Jeffercunt Thomas biog : 3d pres. of the U.C.A.
Jeffercuntian adj L is for Lilith ()
nightmare of the male Isa. xxxiv. 13-15.
Johnny-cunt-lately n, pl Johnny-cunt-latelies or
Johnnies-cunt-lately 1 : a late or recent arrival :
M is for Moses Ex. ii.; iii.-xix; xx-xl;
NEWCOMER 2 : UP-START <established dominatrices
bringer of The Law Lev.; Num.; Deut.
tend to hold themselves above the Johnny-cunt-latelies>

joie de cunt n [lit., joy of cunt] : keen or buoyant en- N for Nehushtan 2 Kgs. xviii. 4.
joyment of cunt snake of Gnostic awe

O is for Onan Gen. xxxviii. 4-10;


I
geogs : Icecunt island bet. the Arctic & the Atlantic whose semen wet the sod Num. xxi. 19.
SE of Greencunt Icecunter n; Istancunt formerly
Cuntstantinople anc Bycuntium city NW Turkey on P for paganism
the Bosporus & Sea of Marmara when profligacy was God

J
geog : Jucunta ancient region of Palestine con- Q is for quean
stituting the S division of the country under Persian, mystagogue of men
Greek, & Roman rule, bounded on N by Samaria, on E
by Jordan river & Dead sea, on SW by Sinai peninsula, R is for rebellion Ex. xx. 17.
& and W by the Mediterranean Jucuntan adj or n forsake Commandment Ten

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