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Jacqueline Snider
It was a brilliant plan. I almost rid Europe of them and all the special needs they come
packaged with, if it wasn’t for the French. My own country and its forces betrayed me after all I
did for them and the rest of Europe.
So I devised my cunning plan to eliminate them all from the gene pool. But of course, I
couldn’t do the dirty work myself…
Mr.Tiny says:
hi Pierre
Pierre on the peer says:
hey
were u just watching that channel 4 newsflash?
there’ve been several giant murders (no pun intended). did u
no?
Supersize Me says:
omg, really? O_o
no, i didnt c the newsflash
Mr.Tiny says:
yeah, i saw it.. its so sad…
did u no any of ‘em
Pierre on the peer says:
not so far, i hope i dont find out l8r
Mr.Tiny says:
at least none’ve happened in france
Supersize Me says:
yeah…
…yet…
Pierre on the peer says:
spread the news dudes
and put a flower in front of your nickname in honour of the
guys who’ve died yeah
Supersize Me says:
pierre, whats daddy long leg’s number again?
…and that’s when I heard a ruffling noise behind me, and then BOOM!...I was a gonna…
Jacqueline Snider
One of my stupid hit men didn’t finish the job properly and his victim woke up only
hours later to call the police. Now I was on the run.
I loaded the car with the essentials and drove to my holiday cabin in the Swiss Alps.
When I stopped at a gas station on the way, I saw on the news that this hit man (the one the
screwed up my plan) had been arrested by the police. They showed footage of this ape-like man
in a suit that was too small for his muscles, being dragged by police with a look of defeat painted
across his face. He was an embarrassment to my plans and my brilliant mind that created them.
The next day I heard a knock at the door…
There was a sudden buzz as the room stirred with astonishment and
agreement. Many victims’ families were hugging with furrowed eyebrows as
they anxiously waited for the verdict to be read. Several security guards
were stationed very close to Jacqueline as they anticipated a violent
reaction.
Spokes person
of the jury: We find the defendant, Madame Jacqueline Snider, guilty
of premeditated murder in the third degree.
Judge: Due to the government encouraging creative sentencing
because our jails are overflowing with criminals,
Jacqueline Snider will serve a life sentence house
bound, without the freedom to use electronic
technology, and will be required to take excessive
amounts of growth hormones.
But unfortunately, I can’t see any alternative to
sentencing every one of Snider’s hit men to a life
sentence in a high security prison.
This court is adjourned.