Claudette Cleveland Trim Your Tree How close should your family be before they are co-dependent?

When should we let our children be own their own? Questions that have plagued us since the institu tion of family came into exisitence. Trim Your Tree By Claudette Cleveland During certain times of the year such as holidays or special events, our exposur e to family is greater. The following metaphor guidance was inspired after sever al counseling sessions with clients. Humans are like all other species in nature in that they must grow or they will die. Like a tree there is always a parent trunk with branches. In our yards and forests we trim the branches that are sapping more than their share of energy fr om the rest of the tree. Think of yourself as a tree. Trim your tree so that the essence of who you are is strong and is seen by all. If a branch grows bigger than its trunk, like a child, it must be cut away and p lanted in its own space and soil. After the cut branch is rooted, it will become the trunk and will support its own branches separate from its parent trunk. If left attached, that branch will do one of two things. One, it may continue to consume the essence of the rest of the tree including the parent itself. When t his happens the other branches may grow weak or even may die from lack of nouris hment. Even the trunk itself may become weak unable to support itself. In this c ase all parts of the tree will not develop to their full potential. Two, the bigger branch if left attached may find its growth will be stunted and unable to support any branches of its own. It, too, will never be able to grow t o its full potential. Your psychologists call these conditions co-dependencies, a suppressing conditio n to the human spiritual, physical mental and emotional development. We offer some guidance for how as a human parent; you can trim your branches or as a human child, break away from the parent trunk. As a parent, put yourself in a relaxed altered state. Then ask yourself if there is a branch that is still attached, but could live on its own. If you honestly see that there is, cut that branch off and give it the opportunity to develop on its own completely independent of its original trunk you. As a child, (we might a dd age is not a factor) cut yourself from your parent trunk. In both cases the result will be two healthy trees, whose essences develop indep endently and to their full potential. Whatever that may be. Only then will you b e thankful to each other for playing a part in your soul s development. For remember: Detachment is Unconditional Love Trim Your Tree So very heavy This branch has grown No longer Am I a balanced tree I ve supported it well For all these years But now its weight Brings only tears If I cut it away Will it shrivel and die Will it grow on its own Or on the ground lie

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comparison other branches are small longer have I the energy grow very tall

God help me to detach This burden I bear Let Love be the trimmer So detachment is without fear http://ClaudetteCleveland.com For more information about Claudette Cleveland's other articles and books visit her website ClaudetteCleveland.com Claudette is a teacher, counselor, author of fiction and non-fiction books, arti st and lecturer. guidance, family, co-dependance, unconditional love, self-help