Inmate Madelyn Boomba Wixom Age: 7 Likes: cherry tomatoes, dancing, laughing Dislikes: Mystery casseroles, mornings, chores,

showers Crimes: Excessive use of cuteness, big blue eyes and winning smile to wheedle, cajole, and generally wreak havoc. Quote: I just want to be sixteen so I can be the boss of me and stay up late and eat whatever I want because Ill be grown up and have my own house.

Inmate Isaiah Zay Simmons Age: 12 Likes: Making cool videos, music, playing guitar Dislikes: onions, mayonnaise, being seen in public with parents. Crimes: Being too cool for school, lukewarm parental PDAs, becoming a teen idol to his siblings. Quote: "I hate clowns, but love balloons. When I see a clown with a balloon, I am very conflicted."

Inmate Ronin The Bear Wixom Age: 18 months Likes: giving kisses, high fives, crackies, dancing, climbing, building stuff Dislikes: diaper changes, time outs Crimes: Excessive stealage of momote controls, laptops, cell phones; running from mommy after baths and tinkling on carpet Quote: Crackies! Crackie crackie crackie MOMMY! I YOU! (I love you)

Sheriff Justin Rocketman Wixom Age: 33 Likes: Seahawks, technology, sci-fi, chili, Call of Duty, Sig Sauer Dislikes: Being asked, Do I look fat in this?, temper tantrums, the Dallas Cowboys Quotes: Jules! (in a stern tone, when certain people are misbehaving)

Zookeeper Julie Flashdancetastic Simmons-Wixom Age: Youd have to cut her open and count the rings Likes: ninjas, zombie killing, dancing in public, singing made up songs, harassing the Rocketman, calling people funny nicknames Dislikes: lint, crumbs, the word anyhoo Quotes: It wasnt me.

Dear Friends, Family, Circus Folk of all Kinds,

We were going to write this whole long holiday letter about all the stuff weve done this year but then we thought of a better plan. Leave it a mystery and send out some super crazy pictures of us being weird (normal for us though) and force you to satisfy your curiosity by calling, emailing, sending carrier pigeons, smoke signals, or stopping by. But then we thought you should know all the stuff, so you wont be shocked when you see us on the news. Justin has been perfecting his gamma ray, which he hopes to use for world destruction on or around December 21, 2012. This will surely mess with peoples minds, because hes not actually Mayan or an alien. As far as we know. Those little ripples youve noticed in the space-time continuum are most likely from Julies most recent trips in her newly-completed time machine. She wasnt able to prevent the zombie apocalypse but she did find Bigfoot. Someday youll be able to read about it in her instructional manual, Transdimensional Time Warp for Dummies, scheduled for release in the fall of 2017. Isaiahs documentary film efforts received mixed reviews, particularly his parody work. The Beiber restraining order notwithstanding, Isaiah continues to mock famous people using only his video camera and his ninja-like wit. When asked about his relationship status, his only response was, No comment, leaving the world to ponder the recent Selena Gomez rumors. Madelyns fashion enterprise has taken flight in some of the most important circles. All the American Girl dolls have been talking about Maddys ingenious work with Barbie accessorizing. Her campaign to bring about world peace using only Dance Central 2 has been going like gangbusters. The public holds its breath to see what this little ingnue will come up with next. Ronins Mensa acceptance speech has gone viral on YouTube, with many people saying he was humble without condescension. His conservation efforts have been saving the planet one light bulb at a time, with the only problem being his penchant to turn them back on again before the environment is saved. Hes been saving his graham crackers and using them as currency in preschool, which has led to several disciplinary actions and one time out. Despite societys disapproval, he has redoubled his efforts to avoid the financial cliff, collecting an extra big cracker tax from the one percent. We hope you are having a fantastically terrific holiday season. And hey, pop by sometime. It doesnt even have to be a special occasion or holiday. Were available any time. Well, except Ground Hogs day. And Arbor Day. And Flag Day. Weve already booked up the big holidays this year. Hope you are all healthy and happy. Love, Rocketman, Flashdancetastic, Boomba, Zay, and The Bear